Seth 378
Sincerity to Change
Tuesday July 1, 2008
8:30 PM
Seth… Good evening. (Someone said something inaudible.) It matters not to me. (Stephanie called for Isabella.) A pleasure to have you tardy people here with me. We will need a working definition and the working definition first will be the idea of prostitute. Therefore, we shall proceed, Kaetorina, what is your definition?
Betty… What was the word? (Everyone said prostitute) for Betty who is on the phone. Prostitute?
Seth… Correct. Go ahead Kaetorina.
Stephanie… The definition?
Seth… Working definition.
Stephanie… Alright, well somebody who sells their body for money.
Seth… Next?
Jasmine… I think that it could be more than just selling a body, it can be anyone who gives up on their own self or ideas or anyone who allows others to take advantage of them.
Seth… Next.
Frank… To sell, to sell something of yourself that’s not appropriate or good for self.
Seth… Next, George.
George… It’s just selling what should not be sold in order to promote yourself and take care of yourself.
Isabella… The giving away of self to someone else, the idea of losing who you are in order to I guess make somebody else like you or appreciate you.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… To kind of sell yourself short in a way that goes against either your principles or your core beliefs.
Seth… With that being stated we shall move on. The second and we will possibly get to the third idea of what makes you an individual is the idea of sincerity. When one needs to change one must have a sincere belief that the change is vital. In other words, you want the change to sponsor that which promotes you. It is quite common that most individuals lie, deceive themselves, foster false beliefs upon others as well as themselves and yet these same people have a belief when challenged that they are sincerely trying to change. Too many individuals prostitute themselves by deceiving the self of its rightful place. The question arises is it not true that you have lied to obtain something that you did not need? I have stated before that there is an old expression that the wanting of something is often more important than the getting it or receiving it. Each of you must sincerely learn to examine your own actions. How do you define yourself? And please note that the way you define yourself is the way others see you and treat you. One cannot sincerely make a profitable change when one is not honest in their attempts to foster a difference between that which they are and that which they choose to become. One cannot succeed without effort. When one attempts to bring to themselves that which they “need” the reality is that you are reinforcing the wanting of that which you do not have. You then prostitute yourself and sell your own dignity and believability for the idea of obtaining something.
Stephanie… What was the end of that?
Seth… Of obtaining something.
Isabella… Selling your own dignity and the ability (believability)?
Stephanie… For the idea.
Seth… For the idea of obtaining something. Most individuals deceive themselves with their own lies by creating a scenario that “justifies” their actions. This is obviously not sincere change. You cannot become a person with the above actions, you are lacking in integrity to the most important individual that you know!
There are always
Isabella… There are always?
Seth… There are always, tell me when ready. There are always underlying causes for your actions. When you desire or want something that seems to be out of reach, when you believe you need to seek revenge upon someone else it is then obvious that you cannot proceed along this line of study without making sincere changes. One must pause to reflect what the real difficulties are. How often do you give yourself a chance to reflect on your actions, especially the deceitful ones? How often have you apologized in the truer sense to those you have victimized for the want of something else? Your core belief systems are so covered up that you cannot face the difficulties that surround them. You tend to run away; you do not fight for self. We shall pause. (The phone had rung.)
When one does not battle for themselves, you define yourself as lacking. The question arises if you define yourself in this matter what are you telling first yourself and through yourself the universe as well as others? It is far too easy for most individuals to run away, to deceive themselves than to stay and face difficulty. The syndrome of I want it my way is paramount in these individuals. They chastise others routinely for imaginary difficulties. It is far easier for them to point their fingers at others than it is to look into a mirror. The hard work that is necessary that will allow sincere change to take place and for you to develop into an individual that will stand on his/her own creations is impossible due to the fact that the delusion of hard work has been overshadowed by self-righteous indignation: I will have my way!
Each individual shuns the knowledge that others have about them. They cannot or will not allow someone else to criticize, ask simple questions or require work from this type of an individual. They clearly point out what they have done yet they have no true identity or plan for the future. Their true identity is lost in the myriads of events that they create. They latch onto ideas without the ability to comprehend the idea itself. They of course believe that they are doing tremendous work. They enjoy pointing out how far they have come. Yet they resent anyone who states you have a far way to go. Most of these individuals can list every single hurt that they have suffered at the hands of others. Yet in truth they have learned little or nothing, they are always wanting.
When one makes a sincere change, the change itself is the profit. How open and honest are you? How receptive are you to looking at your own actions? Is it easier for you to run away than it is to stop and to think about that which is necessary for you to attempt to conquer the challenge that faces you? When you find yourself pitying the situation that you are in, you forget that you are responsible, that you created this situation. The universe provides you with that which you create! How do you define yourself? Which path should I be on? How often do I truly reflect upon my own actions? These are the type of questions that lead you to make sincere changes. Have you asked yourself, where do you see yourself next week? Have you planned for a better you or are you just worried about that which you are? Ask yourself, are you a prostitute? And how have you sold yourself to the ever-changing winds of desire? These ideas are not to be taken lightly. They are signposts that each individual must eventually face.
Where am I going? And how shall I get there? Stop and think, become honest with yourself and whatever changes you make, make sure that they are honorable ones. Apologize for your mistakes by (for) lying and deceiving others to get what you believe that you want.
Jasmine… Apologize?
Seth… To others.
Jasmine… For lying?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… It started with apologize for your mistakes.
Frank… And what?
Seth… And lying.
Isabella… To get what you want?
Seth… To get what you believe you want. I added the word “believe”. That is a form of prostitution (lying and deceiving). These are the challenges that face each individual who truly wants to make a sincere change. Your growth will make you a better person. (There was more discussion to get notes correct.)
You will type it. (Unclear who that was directed to, but later Isabella is directed to type.)
Be careful, be observant, understand, be sincere and your growth will surprise you.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:19 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: Are there any questions?
Isabella… Can you just clarify what we were just talking about?
Seth… I believe you have all the information there and the statements are made so that you are required to do thinking. Nothing is so simple as getting an answer. Nothing is more incorrect than receiving one. Are there anymore questions there?
Stephanie… You didn’t speak to the motivation of the person who is doing all this. What’s…?
Seth… That’s the sincerity. If you choose to truly make a change…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… your motivations are clear.
Stephanie… So, then what you are saying is if a person is operating this way then you truly don’t want to make a change?
Seth… No, you do not. How many individuals that you know who constantly profess I’m unhappy?
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… This is not correct; I just don’t understand why this always keeps happening to me. Do they truly want to make a change? The answer is no, they are not honorable. They are not motivated to do something. Though they start out with the best of intentions but their stick-to-itiveness, if you will falls away.
Stephanie… Well, why does the unhappiness not, why is that not enough of a motivator?
Seth… Because unhappiness is never enough of a motivator. There is no excessive need to change. I am a little unhappy today; I will be a little happier tomorrow. It is an acceptance of the status quo. You see this with your own patients routinely.
Stephanie… Right, if somebody is professing, I am extremely unhappy, I can’t stand this…
Seth… Because extremely unhappy means I have to work hard, and we will deal with the hard work at our next meeting and that is the third portion of how to become a better person.
Stephanie… So, if my patient Lisa for example she is refusing to work hard…
Seth… We will deal with that next week. Hard work comes next week; it means you have to come back.
Frank… Oh well.
Seth… Are there any other questions? (There was some discussion with Frank saying that he thought he had a question that would be covered by hard work topic next session.)
Jasmine… I have a question about sincerity. How does one gauge whether or not their efforts or their work is really sincere?
Seth… The answer is right there before your eyes, Jasmine. Have you noticed that things repeat themselves?
Jasmine… Yeah, I did notice, patterns do repeat themselves.
Seth… If things that are difficult for you constantly repeat themselves, it is a clear indication that you are not being sincere in your efforts to make a change. In other words, if somebody goes ahead and slaps you.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… And you say to them please don’t do that and the next time you see them they slap you again and you say please don’t do that and after it happens for the seventy fourth time and you repeat yourself again please don’t do that how sincere were your true efforts?
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… You understand?
Jasmine… I understand that.
Seth… The first time you go ahead and somebody that slaps you, you go ahead and either prevent them from ever doing it again. You walk away, you get the police, you do something. You are to tell the person as you told your mother I am not going to play second fiddle anymore! I am not going to take this. That is a sincere effort. Everything that came before that statement was a deception. Therefore, one may look at this in the largest sense possible and say for the last thirty-five years you have accomplished nothing because you allowed things to occur over and over and over again without making a sincere effort to stop them. And when you made a sincere effort to stop them you now have the ability that if it happens again, say I told you I will not put up with this. You have laid the background.
Jasmine… Okay that’s one issue, an area that I need to work on.
Seth… Not necessarily you. I could say the same thing about Isabella in her actions and the lies and deceits that go along with actions of all of you. But go ahead.
Jasmine… Well, I’m just looking at the things that you know I’m trying to work on that I’ve discussed with you, with Stephanie about you know the most important things I need to do to make change in this incarnation and you know I guess I’m just wondering when you know that what you are doing is a sincere effort? It’s not…
Seth… When the patterns stops.
Jasmine… But the pattern of what? In other words, in this case the pattern of what was the result of not doing what I should have been doing?
Seth… When you make a statement, we’ll use the one I gave you…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… You are not going to treat me like this again. If it occurs again and it is most likely that it will and when you learn to read “The Nature of Personal Reality” you will understand why things reoccur. You will then have it within your grasp to say to somebody I told you I am not to be treated in this manner.
Jasmine… I understand that perfectly.
Seth… Therefore, the pattern will stop when you stand up for self.
Jasmine… I understand that one but there are other areas that I am trying to make headway.
Seth… Go ahead.
Jasmine… This is what I am trying to talk to you about in doing for self and not asking for help, you know how, do you know when those things are…
Seth… When people start appreciating what you are doing and but more than that when you appreciate yourself for doing.
Jasmine… That’s what I thought you would say. Kind of I knew it, I had the answer. Like when I brought in all the chairs from the trunk, I felt good about it myself.
Seth… Give us a moment… was your job complete?
Jasmine… No, I had to go; no, they should have gone downstairs.
Seth… By who?
Jasmine… Didn’t matter really at that point to me; I couldn’t take them down at that point, my back was hurting.
Seth… Did you have to do immediately?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… Could you have not have said to let’s say Isabella we are going to take them downstairs? Could you have not said to her leave them for me I’d rather do it myself?
Jasmine… I could have said that.
Seth … And if you had the onus of doing was now shifted from her to you but if she did it anyway it shows a sign of love and appreciation, and you would have grown more.
Jasmine… But I didn’t ask anyone to take those chairs down for me.
Seth… It is not a question of asking for someone to take them down, it is the statement I will do this. The “I” becomes, the self becomes more important.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… That is not a criticism; it is an explanation of how you could have felt better about you. Yet let us assume that you would have said to Isabella please don’t touch the chairs, I’ll take them down and she took them down anyway out of a courtesy or a kindness or a loving action. Would you have not felt better about yourself if somebody did for me? Even when I told them not to?
Jasmine… Would I have felt better about me?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… I think I would have just; I would have just extremely appreciated it.
Seth… Does that not make you feel better about self when someone does something for you?
Jasmine… I guess.
Seth… That’s all it is. And that is why the statement I will do it myself would have been more important. I’m not diminishing at all that you took the chairs out. I’m just trying to give you the last piece of information that you needed.
Jasmine… Right but I didn’t ask anyone to take those chairs back.
Seth… I’m not saying tht you should have asked. I’m saying you should have stated don’t.
Isabella… You did ask me to carry them in from the car.
Jasmine… Because you were out there already.
Isabella… Right. (Unclear.)
Jasmine… Because you were out there.
Isabella… No.
Jasmine… Yes, you were.
Seth… It matters not.
Jasmine… (Said something else that was unclear.)
Seth… But do you understand where I am leading you here?
Jasmine… Yes, not one hundred percent.
Seth… What do you not understand?
Jasmine… No that’s alright, I sleep with it.
Seth… Perfectly fine, are there any other questions?
Isabella… So, I am trying to figure out exactly what I am deceiving myself with? Am I deceiving myself into believing that I am not happy without having a significant person in my life?
Seth… True.
Isabella… So, is that what my deception is? Is that the lies that I am telling myself?
Seth… Everything goes about how you are defining yourself.
Isabella… Because that I could, that’s palpable for me. If I’m lying and deceiving myself into believing that I can’t possibly be happy without somebody else in my life, I can handle that. And I can…
Seth… That is absolutely factual.
Isabella… And then I can work on that.
Seth… How do you define you?
Isabella… I don’t know how I define myself.
Seth… When you find that out you will find that part of what your statements…
Isabella… I’m being honest; I really don’t know how I define myself!
Seth… I understand that and I am stating as you define yourself…
Isabella… Em.
Seth… you will find that your last statement…
Isabella… Sometimes I…
Seth… which was palpable for you…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Let me finish, will be included in that. Think about the lies and the deceitful nature of what you have done recently, all to define yourself in certain ways which were certainly not appropriate.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm. Um, (Long pause trying to remember what she was going to ask.)
Seth… Why don’t you pass the microphone over to someone else and we continue on and then we can come back? Are there any other questions? (Pause.) Have it yet?
Isabella… So, in the idea that I am deceiving myself, in the repeated patterns, oh okay I remember now. In the repeated pattern of men and relationships in my life I feel that I’ve become the chameleon in every relationship, and I have lost who I am or prostituted who I am in the sense to make the relationship work and in order to be the person who I believe that they wanted me to be, correct?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… That’s the repeated pattern.
Seth… The need for them.
Isabella… The need for them to love me and I became whoever I believed that it was important for them in order to love me.
Seth… Let me ask you a question, give us a moment. Remember the motion picture “The Runaway Bride”?
Isabella… Well, that’s not…
Seth… (Unclear.)
Isabella… Right.
Seth… What does that tell you about you?
Isabella… That I, I was just thinking “The Runaway Bride” that was what was in my head, but you obviously knew… That’s what I was going to say when I couldn’t remember, I said it was important, it was important it was the idea of “The Runaway Bride”. So, when I, so the deceitfulness, the lying to my… really lying to myself and deceiving myself into becoming someone else…
Seth… Because you’re not sincere.
Isabella… Because I am not sincere to who I am.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And in the relationships that I’ve had lately, of the most significant relationships I’ve had lately, not just with men obviously but with females, relationships as well I am true to who I am. So those are the reasons I’ve always really tend to be working the best.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, if I can continue along that pattern of change then this other pattern of bringing people into my life that I feel like that I need to be the chameleon won’t stick with me.
Seth… Remember when I told you earlier how important this session was to you?
Isabella… Right, am I on the right track with the lies and deceptions? It’s not even…
Seth… And when you type this one up you will find that it is even more important. Go ahead.
Isabella… No, that I was just…
Seth… I’m just making sure Frank doesn’t ask any questions, (said humorously.)
Isabella… I was just trying to figure out exactly how I deceive myself and …
Seth… You deceive yourself by not allowing your self…
Isabella… To be myself.
Seth… to be you.
Isabella… So, it’s not that I’m necessarily at this juncture, not necessarily deceiving myself in the idea that I am trying to change, if the idea that…
Seth… You’re not trying to change. That’s very clear.
Isabella… Why is that?
Seth… Because if patterns that repeat themselves are not trying to change.
Isabella… Patterns… well… I guess the pattern has repeated but, (Laughs.) But at least I am aware of it now. Is that the first step towards sincere change?
Seth… Awareness is always necessary before anything can occur. And the question is what do you do with that awareness? Do you use that awareness to shrink the void that’s within you or do you use that awareness as a camouflage system since you don’t have to work hard, that if you don’t have to work then you run away.
Isabella… I don’t understand that at all.
Seth… Do you use your awareness of a problem to cover up the problem?
Isabella… How would one do that?
Seth… By pretending that it is not important. By pretending it’s not there. You are aware of the problem adequately, yet you use that awareness for quite a long time to just make believe that you are lacking so you continue to lack.
Frank… Do you remember the grass cloth? (The audio is unclear, but Frank was talking to Isabella about the concept of camouflaging by covering up. A void like a hole in the ground is noticed or experienced, it is often painful, and one does not want to face making a change. Instead of doing the work of filling in the void or hole one covers it up like with a grass cloth and forgets it. Inevitably the person falls back into the hole and the process begins again until real change is made.)
Jasmine… He’s saying awareness of.
Frank… At first you are aware…
Seth… You are aware and then you pretend it is not there. For example, Jasmine, have you not been aware that your mother cast you in the role of the second sister? (Jasmine probably nodded.) For how long?
Jasmine… Long.
Seth… Please show me, except for the last recent statement which I mentioned, what you’ve done about that awareness? You’ve done nothing therefore you’ve covered it over. You used it not to shrink the voids and eliminate it as you did recently. What you did was camouflaged by I will be better, I will work harder, I will show her, I will do.
Jasmine… I always knew that, but I didn’t know it. (Not completely clear.)
Seth… Sure, you did.
Jasmine… I knew it but…
Seth… You did it by trying to become something that you are not.
Jasmine… No, I didn’t.
Seth… Really? How often did you go out of your way to see your mother when you didn’t want to? (Again, the audio here is poor. Jasmine said essentially that she didn’t do anything that she did not want to. The point of this whole passage was that Jasmine was made second fiddle but did not do anything about it, in fact covering it up. This kind of defensive system Seth calls a camouflage system is extremely common yet is not spoken about in this way. This is very important information. F.N.) Yes you did. How often did you call your mother when you don’t want to? (Jasmine inaudible.) That is all part of the same story. (Jasmine inaudible.) How often have you said to the man through whom I speak when are you going to make dinner for my parents if they come? And that has gone on for years. It’s all a cover up, all a pretend. Harder to look at it when it is explained that way is it not? (Jasmine inaudible but saying something about being aware of the second fiddle status.) And what have you done about it? The answer was to try to pretend that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was by trying to create something to fill it up with. I will have you for dinner; I will make a better dinner. I will do this. I will do that. (Jasmine inaudible.) That is what you believe, that is not factual.
Jasmine… Well, I don’t really need to do that… (unclear.)
Seth… That is not the issue. That is not the issue. Are there any other questions?
Isabella… So, in the situation with my, the relationships that I bring into my life, the repeated pattern of always being…
Seth… Needy.
Isabella… Needy and the victim, that’s the repeated pattern?
Seth… Some of them. There are others that you are still missing. You will find them when you work hard enough.
Isabella… But those are the biggest ones.
Seth… Does it matter?
Isabella… (Laughs.) Well, I want to work on them so if I am not aware of them…
Seth… When you find them, you can become aware.
Frank… The not facing that situation is usually the fear of it’s just too hard, too big…
Seth… Too hard, too big, too difficult…
Frank… Or I am unable?
Seth… I am unable, it’s not within my power, it’s the other person’s problem, all these are issues.
Frank… Because there’re all the same.
Seth… Always all the same thing. Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: How often have you prostituted yourself in the attempt to fulfill your needs? Sincerity allows you to become a person. It allows growth and will give you profit; your wants will be lessened, and your enjoyment of self will truly be magnified. A hardy good evening to all.
(Session ended at 9:40.)