Seth 410
The Roads to Misery and Taking Responsibility for Your Own Stress
Tuesday July 14, 2009
8:36 PM
Seth… Good evening, it is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We of course shall continue on our subject of Change.
One of the great difficulties that individuals have when dealing with stress and adverse conditions that seem to constantly repeat themselves is the idea that they have at best felt that they are crazy. This occurs because of the fact that most individuals tend to camouflage themselves and hide themselves from the reality that they are making. While this idea seems simple itself, the concept is obvious that one may never run away from their own creations. Since you are responsible for yourself one must learn to take responsibility for their own actions. Most individuals would prefer to cast the blame on others. They tend to forget that in any relationship issue that they are responsible for fifty percent of what comes to pass. It is a difficult concept to accept the fact that you yourself are driving yourself into areas that you fear. When events tend to repeat themselves, most individuals become concerned with their own sanity.
They cry, why is this always happening to me? The difficulty here lies in the fact that it is far too easy to find fault with actions of another. When one tends to victimize another, their specific actions are often called into question. Even the slightest imperfection is noted and looked at with disparaging eyes. These individuals worry that they themselves are losing a grip on reality. They indeed fear that they cannot look at themselves due to the fact that they instinctively know that they are not perfect. This situation causes great stress to be placed upon their own belief system. They fear losing control over their own environment. Most individuals will grasp at anything that they can in order to relieve themselves of the burdens that they believe others have placed upon them. Instinctively they believe that the others are responsible for their misery, and they routinely seek to point out other’s faults. The fear of looking at oneself is so pervasive that most individuals routinely hide from this thought.
Most parents today use the idea of a “time out” when dealing with young children. This break from their routine allows a child to compose themselves from the difficulties that they were experiencing. It also allows the parent to have a time out as well so that the parent may compose themselves. This break in a routine allows individuals to slow down and gives them the ability to recreate that which they need. Instead of driving oneself “crazy” one must break the pattern by giving pause to any difficulty that is occurring.
At that point of reference, one must do something different. The difference is in routine so that the same errors in judgment will not be made again. The person for example who is worried about their weight and routinely goes to the candy merchant or the ice cream vendor on their way home from a difficult day at work must do something different. One may take a different route or choose a different time to accomplish their task of returning home. It should be noted here that addictive behavior such as drinking occurs by routine. One will allow themselves a drink or two on the way home or a drink before dinner. This addictive behavior becomes so routine that when our individual is challenged by someone else, they become angry for they cannot see or better yet will not see that their addictive behavior is of their own making. It is the change that allows individuals to break the pattern of dis-ease that will allow healing to occur.
It should be noted that these individuals are in pain. Unfortunately, this pain increases with “time.” Pain that these individuals have is real. They hurt inside and out. Many become so uncomfortable that they cannot and will not function properly. These individuals become so self-absorbed in their day-to-day difficulties that they literally become victims of the situation. Individuals in this position make excuses for their behavior. The husband who beats his wife is in so much pain that he claims that she made me do it. The smoker who knows that they have a bad cough claims that they smoke because they either like it or that they use it to control their weight. One must learn to discard that which bothers them. When one tends to keep difficulties with you your viewpoint of any situation causes you to view your life practices in a manner that destroys your own chances for success.
One may look at the idea of the woman who has lost her husband and is still mourning that loss years after the husband has died. This woman never realizes that the husband ended his incarnation for his own reasons. These reasons of course may be positive or negative, yet she still mourns his passing. The question that one must ask is what profit do you have with these types of actions? The stress that you place yourself in becomes so invasive that it affects your day to day existence. My question here is what difference in attitude do you have? Do you believe that your husband or wife would have wanted you to act in this manner? Each individual must learn to do something different if they are going to be successful in whatever they choose.
Most individuals wake up in the morning, some happy and glad to be alive, others sleepy and hate the idea of movement, many others detest the idea that another day has dawned. After you first awake in the morning one should plan for a different type of a day. The first thing that one should do is to send love to yourself through the use of psychological time. By doing so you are going to give yourself a boost not only of energy but a feeling of success. This feeling of success will enable you to view difficult situations in a manner heretofore unavailable to you.
Frank… May I ask a question?
Seth… Certainly.
Frank… Just as a review and also to teach, how would we describe psychological time to others?
Seth… You already know the answer and that is very simple here. Think about success at nine o’clock, ten o’clock, eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock, two o’clock, and three o’clock. By doing this you will give yourself a gentle reminder that no matter what the problem is there will always be some sort of a positive outcome to any situation. When one does not employ the idea of success one tends to wallow in the situation you create negativity. You will look for any reason to justify your actions. The idea that one may sit and wallow in doing anything must become the idea of the past. Each day is a gift no matter what difficulties you face, what hardships you must overcome the idea of doing nothing or a bemoaning your fate must end. These ideas by the enlightened individual are cast aside so that solutions to whatever problems you are having may finally be put to rest.
The sad factor is that most individuals are not practical. They wish, they hope, and they pray all of which accomplish nothing. The natural person is practical; they seek to fit in with the environment. They see and feel the order and the beauty of the physical plane. They choose to embrace a challenge; they do not bemoan their fate. They enjoy the simple pleasures that they have. One of the ideas that individuals must look at is a test. How often do you truly test your skills, how often do you challenge yourself to become better? Do you rely on others for answers that you already know, or do you push yourself to your own limits and then rejoice when you find out that you could do more. Test your skills, challenge yourself. This is doing something different; this relieves stress, and you will walk away from the road to misery and never have a thought of turning back.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(9:22 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: If this material has its desired effect, one should have any number of questions that occur to you. I would ask that each of you not only those around the table but anyone who reads the material to sit down quietly give yourself a “time out” and then start asking questions so that you may research if you will that which you require. For those around the table I will ask are there any questions?
Arthur… I think I don’t know how one grieves successfully must go. I’ve done different things, I’ve expressed feelings, I’ve taken on new ventures and yet I think that it’s true that I haven’t grieved and let go.
Seth… The idea of mourning is a period that best is described as reflection. You reflect upon the person who has ended their incarnation. You reflect upon your relationship with that individual and you reflect upon your own existence without that individual. When one excessively mourns, one is stating to themselves that my “life” is worthless without that individual. The question arises; how can I keep going with this massive loss? It is unfortunate but the question that one must ask themselves after a while is simple, would my partner desire me to live my life in a state of sadness? Now the answer to this is obvious, however for the individual who suffers the idea of mourning is a way of saying I love you and am so devoted to you that I will never let you go. In reality they fear that if they let go, they can no longer enjoy the memory of the individual who has ended their incarnation. They feel that they are becoming disloyal to that individual and somehow, they believe that that individual will not look kindly upon them. When an individual ends their incarnation their viewpoint of the physical plane changes drastically. For those that they leave behind they clearly see and understand the difficulties that they have. Their greatest wish if you will is that these individuals will overcome the loss that they feel and be able to move along and profit from their existence with the individual who has died and by using these feelings properly will be able to grow and to gain experience with others in a loving relationship. Does that help?
Arthur… It gives me plenty to think about.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… The exercise in psychological time how does one tell if one is ready to do this?
Seth… Simply put, there is no individual who is incapable of doing this. All one has to do is to use the idea of sending themselves love throughout the day. Period.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… I wanted to ask about the stress. What is it about those people who have no difficulties with stress, what are they doing right?
Seth… Stress itself is what one does to themselves. The individual who handles stress well looks at whatever challenge is presented as a positive force. When one looks at that challenge in a negative manner and then holds on to that idea one is then affected by that negative line of study. Does that help you?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… The addicted person who requires change how do they go about taking the first step when the behavior itself presents a wall to steps towards change?
Seth… The addictive person in reality has a far easier time with this than the non-addictive personality. A person who is addictive enjoys doing things in the same way, their behavior constantly reinforces this idea. Examples here may be seen with the person who is addicted to smoking. Once they have decided to change, they quickly incorporate all the negative ideas about smoking into their being. They will quote every study; they look at others who smoke and try to become their champion so that these individuals will also stop smoking. The individual who looks at others in a negative manner and consistently finds fault with them will find that change is easy once they change their focus from the negative aspects of the other’s personality to their positive attributes. The addictive personality is predictable and quite literal in the way they see and react to the stimuli of the physical plane. Therefore, they will incorporate change quickly once they decide that it is to their benefit to do so.
Are their any other questions?
Stephanie… What helps this individual to decide to change?
Seth… The question here is profitability. When the addictive personality finds that their old route to work is not in their best interests, they quickly adopt a different pattern. The same is true with any change that they choose to make. The addictive personality when weight loss becomes desirable quickly loses that which they desire. The individual who finds fault with their friends or neighbors quickly will see their positive side when they become aware that these friends or neighbors have assisted them in whatever difficulty that there was.
Does that answer your question?
(Frank reminded Stephanie about a training they had attended called Motivational Interviewing which was a counseling method involving working with addiction. One of the ideas being that an addicted individual’s degree of ambivalence and motivation fluctuated along different stages of readiness, including a time when change is strongly desired. The counselor would intervene accordingly.)
Stephanie… Why do you keep alluding to the idea that the addictive personality is in a better position to change quicker as opposed to more entrenched? Aren’t they addicted then to the negative in general and enjoy it thoroughly, especially if this is a way of life. It seems there would have to be more of an epiphany rather than what you allude to as a simple choice.
Seth… First the idea that the addictive personality has an easier time of it was not stated by us. The idea is quite simple, for whatever reason the addicted personality will eventually come to the conclusion that their behavior is no longer suitable once this occurs then change is easy. Of course, they are entrenched in their previous behaviors just as they become entrenched in their new behaviors. The question here is which behavior is more profitable?
Does that satisfy you?
Stephanie… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
A hearty good evening to all.
(Session ended at 10:07 P.M.)