Seth … Good evening it is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We shall begin with the following. If I were to ask each of you, are you at war on a day-to-day, moment to moment reference point how would you answer? For the most part most of you would answer that you are not at war on a moment-to-moment basis. This of course is incorrect. As an aside Kaetorina, directly after our break I will have you explain what EE units are in detail.
Each of you must come to the conclusion that the war you fight has two fronts. The first front is that of self and second is that of others. Now I’d like you Kaetorina to skip a line and in all capital letters write the following.
IF ONE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN SELF THAN YOU WILL NOT HAVE FAITH ENOUGH TO WIN THE WAR.
The war that you fight with yourself has many fronts. The battles that are waged mold and shape the self and cause creativity patterns to be formed. If you do not believe in self than one’s view of any difficulty shifts from your point of power to somewhere else. That type of individual looks routinely to blame others for their inadequacies. The person who desires to change a job but is lackadaisical about doing so looks to others to keep his present place of employment functional. This person is clearly a victim of self. The person who desires to lose weight but does not make a commitment blames others for their routine failure not only to lose weight but to keep it off. An interesting note here that comes from our discussions on change. At any point of reference when change is to be made and new habits formed the new habit is of course forcedsince change starts with a decision not to continue in the way in which you had been dealing with this instance with food. The same may be said with smoking or any other relationship issue where decisions of this nature must be made.
While change itself may be instantaneous, the process by which one fosters change is based upon belief in self. The idea that I can do it becomes important. If you do not believe in what you hope to accomplish by routinely asking others to do something limits your ability to win the war. An example here. If one desires to stop smoking but in their relationship issues others smoke around them then the question becomes, what happens if I routinely ask others who smoke not to smoke in front of me? First, you may win the battle but only temporarily but the war itself is doomed to failure. The resentment that you have towards others who smoke becomes so manifest that your desire to blame them causes you to abandon your own needs. Once you abandon your own needs you are left with want which in reality gives you nothing. If you promote yourself then of course you will be able to sustain that which you “need.” Your point of power will remain with you. In truth you may lose the battle of having others not smoke around you but win the war in terms of your own desire to change your behavior!
When you are dealing in the above situation the others will respect you for your perseverance by keeping yourself on track thereby enabling you to win the war. When you blame others for smoking around you, you create anger and frustration from point of reference to point of reference. These individuals lose respect and routinely become angry with you. This occurs as previously stated because you now want something which you are not creating. The others in this instance will allow their anger to flow from them towards you. These feelings in you cause victimization first of self which then forces you to lash out against the other. Now you stand apart from yourself as well as from the others. It becomes impossible for you to understand the why of the situation. You are so concerned with their difficulties and reactions towards you that you cannot examine or in most cases will not examine your own actions. What is the purpose of being in a war where you have set up numerous situations that force you to lose the war but win some individual battles? These situations are at best difficult since each individual must determine for themselves which battle to win and which to lose.
The faith that one must invest in self determines the outcome not only of any battle but of the war itself. If you believe that you are inferior, then of course you are. If you believe that you deserve more then of course you will get less. For all that you are creating is a desperate need to have others change and bend towards your desires. It is a simple process with the law of attraction that is paramount with these issues. It is obvious that you attract to you what you require. If you do not have faith in self because your belief system in self is lacking, then all you create is wanting or nothing in simplistic terms. It is impossible to be open and understand yourself when you do not have a belief system that forces you to understand that you are a magnificent creature. When you routinely doubt your own abilities, you then operate in a system where your understanding of your own actions are routinely called into question, not only by yourself but by others as well.
The victimization of self does not stop here; it spreads like a cancer in all issues that have to deal with this, “our smoking issue.” This victimization causes others to look at you first with a lack of understanding and second with anger. If left unchecked this victimization will lead them to hatred. The hatred is not of you directly, but of your victimization of them. They cannot understand your reasoning behind your actions since you routinely insist that they must change by not smoking around you. You foster a belief system where they are the ones at fault. This belief system causes you to lose faith not only in self but in others. One cannot have faith that the others will support you since they are always placed on the defensive by your actions.
Let us reverse this. If you have belief in self and your desire to make a change fosters the prevailing idea within self that there is a need to become different, then you are well on your way to win the war even if you lose individual battles. It is obvious that you cannot succeed with everything that you do. When you believe in yourself you understand that the need is the ending result of that which you as an individual desire. You will then proceed along a predictable path that will allow you to interact with yourself thereby promoting prosperity within you and in doing so promote prosperity towards others. When this occurs, the others will routinely look to you as someone who inspires them toward any number of specific goals. It is the end result that fulfills your needs and not the battle! It matters not how you achieve your ultimate goal or in this instance your need to succeed with your plan of not smoking. The ultimate goal is to say I am now a nonsmoker. You may be asked by others who you are now going to inspire to tell the tale of how you reached your goal. You will say there were difficult times; there were times when I stood next to someone who was smoking and tried to inhale what they were breathing out. I don’t know how often I thought about going back but I had faith in the ultimate goal, my belief system allowed me to say I will not smoke now. In doing so I gave myself the opportunity not to want. I challenged myself to have a belief system in place where I could prosper and not be the victim of myself or others. I lost many battles along the way, but I won the war. I finally succeeded in promoting the faith I had in myself so that I could inspire the others around me.
I will deal with the second half of the war battle at our next meeting.
At this time, we shall take a break. (9:33 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions on this material?
Failing means you are not getting what you want. The word “want” here in actuality means need. You don’t believe in yourself that you can succeed.
Let me leave you with this. You are at war and the question arises, do I choose to promote myself and my needs by losing a battle? If I do not have a belief of self then the war is lost, my wants are all I will have left and my ultimate goal will never be granted. This week I challenge all of you to deal with your battles in a different way. At our next meeting we shall examine the others and perhaps we will have Kaetorina explain EE units again. A hearty good evening to all.
Session ended: (10:26 PM)
(The following was added after the regular session was over. It was given to Stephanie in a private session.)
What can you learn from the idea of this session this evening? I use ideas that are first simplistic so that individuals are caught off guard. The smoking is as far away from Jasmine as she has not smoked in years. By using an idea that is distant it forces the individual to start focusing on self and reflecting on self. The individual comes to the conclusion that their perceptions and deeds must be accountable first to self and then to others. If you are not accountable to self, then you have nothing left to deal with.
Jasmine finally came to the conclusion that the war is in reality against herself. She’s in a war with herself. The war she is fighting is that of happiness, but the happiness must step first from self. One can’t be happy with a husband, wife, brother, sister or friends and can’t be happy with the situation unless one is first content and happy with self. That’s the war.
One can lose a battle, an argument with people. You don’t have to browbeat. One must allow their disgruntled abilities and statements to pass you by. So, you lost a battle here or there, but the major question is do I have a belief system in self, so I have faith enough in winning the war.
When you have an individual who is self loathing, that victimizes self as well as others so that they have no outlet or release for their hatred. These ideas, feelings and thoughts become deeds. These are the booby traps that cause the explosion in the face of that individual. They are literally harmful; victimizing self they lose respect from themselves. If you don’t like yourself what is your energy telling you? That you are an inferior individual and if you are inferior then contentment and happiness will always elude you. You the individual must take responsibility for your own route to success but if you don’t enjoy self but blame others for your own unhappiness, you lose.
When one blames others, they tend to have no release, it just keeps building and building. They may say you didn’t say the words I wanted, etc. These ideas are paramount within self who has no release that they cannot and will not function fairly for self. They only “see” the others as the cause of their dis-ease. Since you have no belief in self and no release you must then blame the other – it is you who is not saying the right thing or doing what I wanted instead of saying I am not making myself happy and doing for self, they blame others. The releasing would be for example, speaking to a therapist or to the person themselves in a fair and just manner without accusation or demanding anything.
When there is no release there is an explosion of anger, hatred and resentment immersed in the concept of fear. The fear is that I will never obtain what I am searching for. Who caused the explosion? When these type of individuals explode, they must blame others due to the fact that they have no belief in self to provide for their ultimate success.
Never Deprive Anyone of Hope and Learning to Say “No Properly
Seth 423
Questions On Never Deprive Anyone of Hope and Learning to Say No Properly Tuesday December 15, 2009
8:52 PM
Seth… Good evening. It is again a pleasure to have you here with me this evening. What we shall do for purposes of brevity is to move around the table and have each of you ask one question at a time. I noticed that you have labeled this session 423, in reality you could change the numbering system to 422 A. Do we have a volunteer? I will make the announcement that your questions should pertain to the session.
Isabella… How can one properly say no to themselves when everything in their being says yes?
Seth… In simplistic terms what you are asking is the equivalent of having someone who is an addict break that pattern. An addict obviously requires their “fix” so that they may function on a somewhat lesser level than most. The individual who mistakenly believes that they would like to say one thing but are forced to do another is dealing with fear and want. Most individuals in this category understand that they have a closed belief system and desperately require wanting which of course leaves them with nothing. These individuals are battered by themselves and by the circumstances that surround them. Their ideas of winning become paramount as long as this belief system is in place. These types of individuals refuse constructive conversation. They limit themselves to their own perceptions and will not allow anyone else to challenge their belief systems. It is obvious that in a closed belief system there can be no room for error.
The individual who believes that they must say yes even when no is proper deludes themselves into believing that they had it better with their addiction. To break this pattern these individuals must come to the realization that they must be in control of their own creations. This does not mean nor should it be interpreted as such that winning is ever necessary. If you can only see and deal with your perceptions, then your system is closed since you cannot criticize self. The individual who lives within these walls typically is unhappy and blames everyone else for their misery. They cry for help but only on their terms. They cannot and will not function in a fair and equitable manner. They often complain about physical discomfort. Their dis-ease increases exponentially as long as this system is closed. For most it is better to be battered than find freedom even if they realize that they are in error. Simply put there is no give and take within this closed system. The breaking of the habit occurs when the individual realizes that no matter what they do they cannot find prosperity under these circumstances.
Next question.
Frank… Is hope a precursor to faith? i.e.: I hope things will work out for the best versus I know things will work out for the best. Also, you use hope to promote self when it’s not possible to know something, when faith is not there?
Seth… Hope is never a precursor to faith. The second question that you asked at least the first part of the statement you are using hope instead of want. Example, I hope for the best. The second part of your statement is such that when you know something you will attract it to yourself if you work diligently. An example of this may be seen with Kaetorina’s son Zachariah or Zach if you prefer. His latest school examination clearly showed that when you work for something and you know what you are working towards a positive outcome is yours for the taking. This does not mean that you will always receive or get what you want but at least you are placing yourself in a position that prosperity may be found. The last portion of your statement is simple when faith is not there you are dealing in a closed-believe situation.
Another question.
Stephanie… Why is there no margin for error in a closed belief system?
Seth… As stated in the previous session, a closed belief system depends upon everything always being in place. Once something goes array, there is no possibility since there is no leeway to correct that situation. The individual suffers since they have no possibility of escape. They find that their decision making abilities fall short since they cannot bring themselves to the conclusion that they might be wrong. It is necessary to understand that error is a normal inhabitant of the physical plane. This is called experience. Some might say trial and error. If you are not willing to listen to the others, not necessarily agree with but to listen, then you leave no room for yourself you are in a tight corridor with the walls constantly closing in. Simply put, you feel trapped by your own creations and your inflexibility to allow prosperity from any source to filter through the dark grey areas that you inhabit. It is this situation of being confined that individuals with a closed system suffer through.
Jasmine… If one doesn’t have hope does that mean their belief system is negative?
Seth… First my answer is simply put, yes. When you deal with a negative belief system you limit prosperity. You instinctively believe and create the idea within self that there is not enough. This type of belief system causes one great pain. Since there is not enough the individual feels empty and lacks the strength to move forward. They turn away from friendships when difficulties arise. They attempt to foster their beliefs on others since they erroneously believe that they are always correct since failure is not a possibility for these individuals. A negative belief system such as Lee Chang (Lee Chang is a name referenced by Seth for a friend of Jerry’s who has had many lives studying from the negative side of things,) has caused these individuals to work in reverse of a positive system of faith. They look for the unhappiness, and dwell upon their own failure to achieve a positive outcome within their small corner of the physical plane.
A negative belief system enhances feelings of worthlessness. These individuals cannot hope for something better since they have walled themselves off from the sunshine of success. Even when they are in reality correct their belief systems cause them to what may be described as overindulgence on their belief system that they are correct and in doing so they victimize others as well as themselves. There is an expression that is suitable for these types of individuals. This is a common colloquial expression. They hold up their hand and in a loud voice say, “speak to the hand.” This action in and of itself prevents a fair exchange of ideas.
Jasmine, I would also refer you to read the session from the beginning since Isabella’s question can easily be tied into yours. Betty, have you a question yet?
Betty… Yes. How do you know when saying no to self is coming from a fear place of making a change that could be positive versus when saying no to self in a situation that is not good for me?
Seth… When one looks at this type of a question one must examine that which is surrounding the individual. What are your chance encounters showing you? Where are your seasonal players leading you? Do you tend to repeat your actions over and over again? Does the universe provide you with the same opportunities? If so, then saying no to self clearly demonstrates that these situations are not profitable. Individuals here tend to rise up in arms and battle against what they believe are the constant assaults on their viewpoints. They do not understand that stepping away and saying no I am not going to participate is effective in this type of combat. On the other hand, when you say no since something is not pleasing and it is new then of course you are dealing with a situation where “no” may improve your prosperity.
Let us have another question.
Isabella… Why is it easier to say no to certain people than it is to others?
Seth… Saying no to certain individuals is easy because it is safe. You feel no threat. You do not feel you are losing anything since you instinctively know that they will always be there for you. It is the individual that you are fearful of that you would like to capture if you will, that saying no to is a difficult situation since fear and loss work hand and hand on this matter. These types of individuals believe that they cannot exist in a positive atmosphere without that other.
Another question.
Stephanie… How would a person who deals only in a belief system even begin to learn to live by a faith system? What would they do?
Seth… When an individual finds themselves in any belief system that they realize is unsatisfactory then of course they become unhappy with that which surrounds them. Now, individuals must learn to properly promote themselves. They must open themselves up, which is the first thing they must do to a fair and equitable standard of living. By this I mean that they must choose not to promote themselves over others. If you are going to live within a closed system, you tend to require winning and being correct as necessary as the air you breathe. As you learn to move to a faith system you will understand that experience is the greatest asset to existence on the physical plane. You cannot experience good without bad, up without down, but your faith in self is always unlimited. You instinctively know that with your help you will improve others; with your own guidance you will find prosperity within yourself. As your prosperity improves your experience of happiness will also improve. You will become more willing to give of self even if that giving “hurts.” You will become selfish in terms of promoting that which encourages prosperity even if it means letting someone else enjoy the ride first.
Another question please.
Frank… In last week’s session and today you have used the word instinctively when referring to either faith or belief systems, what do you mean by that?
Seth… Do you know what the word instinctively means?
Frank… Natural, impulse, knowledge that is already there.
Seth… Simply put, it is a knowing.
Frank… Even for negative belief systems?
Seth… Since something is not positive does not mean that you cannot know.
It is at this point we shall take a break. (9:56 PM)
Seth … Let us continue. Is there another question?
Frank… I was just going to respond. Just because you know something doesn’t mean it’s true.
Seth… Obviously, you still do not understand. Faith is not knowing, it’s unlimited. Since it is unlimited you will come to the conclusion that it is positive.
Isabella… Since you said that one should always have hope what if you are unsure of that which you hope for is positive or negative for you?
Seth… When you read this session, you will see that I have already answered that question. What have your chance encounters shown you? What is the universe showing you? What do you find profitable in this hope, what things repeat themselves?
Isabella… What if you are not sure if there is positive outcome in the hope?
Seth… What have you seen by actions of others? Words mean very little, actions mean far more than words could ever have or do. Words have various feelings and meanings. The action of another, the helpful hand, the going out of the way to do something is more important than the grand gesture of words that means nothing.
Another question.
Jasmine… When everything can’t always work out do these people adjust their thinking to make their initial thoughts match the unexpected outcome?
Seth…. No, they do not. Surprises, difficulties do not allow for success in a closed belief system… It is a singular path that these people are on. They must win. When they do not win, they blame others and victimize themselves with misery and unhappiness. They do not let go; they do not change. They try to force others to accept their belief system!
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… What causes a person to develop a belief system versus a faith system to begin with?
Seth… Simply put, one must understand that there must be growth and development of any individual. I do not want you to leave these sessions with the erroneous belief that all belief systems are negative, they are not. In terms of experience and growth all individuals will always move from a belief system, positive or negative into a faith system when they properly cultivate and create their experiences in terms of what is profitable.
Do we have any other questions?
Isabella… My belief system, which is the fear of being alone, I want to move into a faith system that allows for freedom. Would the getting of the new apartment help me to move from a belief system in to a faith system about being alone?
Seth… There is no possible way to truly answer that question due to the fact that I will not tell you how you will react to being alone and on your own. If you come to the realization that being on your own is profitable, enjoyable and it builds self-esteem then of course you will move away from that closed belief system. However, if you do not then being on your own will become torturous. Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this.
Each individual must learn to reduce their wants so that their needs will become profitable. When we start again, we will continue on with the nine items we have previously listed. A most hearty good evening to all.
Belief vs. Faith, Never Deprive Anyone of Hope and Learning to Say No Properly
Tuesday December 8, 2009
8:35 PM
Seth … It is always a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. I have spoon fed the man through whom I speak the following. Kaetorina please read the following one item at a time, and I will tell you when to read the next item.
Never deprive anyone of hope, because it could be the only thing that, that person owns.
Learn to say no – properly
Learn to lose a battle so that you can win the war.
Own your mistakes – tell the truth always even if you diminish yourself.
Learn to praise people – don’t criticize them
Learn control – even if it means backing away
Be honest, earn people’s respect.
Shed hate and rancor, they hurt you more than they do others.
Work for happiness – simple things are your food.
Kaetorina please read the letter A. Under our larger topic of belief vs. faith it is important to realize that each individual has certain hopes, desires and feelings about a great many things. An example here. Many times, your physicians inform patients that they are terminal and that they have only 2 to 3 months left on their incarnation, so I ask the following question how many times these individual souls do last for years? Hope is one of the strongest allies that nourish a soul’s existence. It is the driving force that causes individuals to seek greatness. Simply put an individual who does not possess hope has only belief systems to work with. Obviously, this can be disastrous, not only for the individual but for the others who come into contact with that individual.
When you have a closed system such as belief, everything depends upon everything working out correctly. There is no margin for error. There is no possibility for change in these circumstances, simply put you are quite rigid not only in your thinking but in your actions. Most commonly these individuals wall themselves off from others. They do not allow for flexibility. Their viewpoints will never allow themselves to view themselves as incomplete or as wanting. These individuals look at the physical plane as a challenge. They most commonly feel that they must win in most situations. Losing and backing away from a problem are extremely difficult for these individuals. The reason here is due to the fact that these individuals instinctively know that they have no hope of success. They prefer to blame others routinely for their own failures. They do not allow for an equitable give and take between people.
Individuals with this type of belief system always feel that they are being victimized by one party or another. They instinctively believe that the universe does not provide them with enough. When questioned these individuals, will fight against this idea even unto the “death.” Please note I do not literally mean to the end of an incarnation. Since these types of individuals have given up hope, the only thing that is left is fear and hatred. They fear themselves and hate others for being able to move forward as they are left further and further behind. Despair is the key phrase that surrounds these types of individuals.
Individuals who have a faith system of belief are open ended. Even when they have nothing or live in poverty their faith in themselves and others grants them happiness. They know that the physical plane is a place for introspection of self as well as of the area in which they inhabit. These types of individuals seek to expand their knowledge. They enjoy that which they can see. Material objects play a small part in their day-to-day existence, and their great hope is that they may be able to share happiness with all those that they come in to contact with. These individuals enjoy the challenge of day-to-day existence. They first challenge themselves to prosper and they grant others the opportunity for their own growth and development. They hope that they can provide inspiration to others even if they have very little for themselves.
Individuals that possess these qualities use hope as the driving force for their life’s work. They hope to provide something more not only to themselves but to others. These individuals look forward; they incorporate opportunities whenever they can. No obstacle is too large; no problem is too small that they would prefer to ignore it. These individuals have a faith system that allows them to see the sunshine even in the blackest of night. These types of individuals never need to win. In simplistic terms they are glad just to be in the race. Winning is unimportant since they know that knowledge and experience are all that truly matters. Individuals of this nature accept failure as a simple learning experience and hope to improve on their own performance. These individuals are commonly old souls since they look and understand that there is always something higher and that knowledge is all that truly matters. There is never a question in their minds that hope springs eternal. These types of individuals know that the following simple phrase is true; actions speak louder than words since hope pushes one forward in a quiet direct manner. It is the sense of inspiration that allows for greatness even under the most adverse circumstances.
Our second idea is that one must learn to say no – properly. In any belief system there are numerous times that individuals must refuse another’s wishes. It is unfortunate that these individuals commonly become angry and bothered on both sides of this equation. A clear example of this is seen by the individual who constantly asks for favors. Would you please do this or that and rarely if ever returns that which they have “stolen.” Their belief system is so regimented that they weigh and measure another by how many favors they can do. They inflict themselves upon others. Please get this for me; can you carry that; would you do this for me? The premise of their existence is simply put as I can’t. These individuals have very little “like” for themselves. They are easily distracted from their true purpose. They do not see themselves as capable of effort. They would prefer to have others do for them instead of doing for others. Their hope is that another will not notice the fact that they are taking advantage of everyone around them.
These individuals always try to convert others to their way of thinking. They routinely point out other’s failures. They force others to become their partner in crime. A vast majority of these individuals use others to justify their own positions. These individuals are afraid to be alone since being alone would force them into looking at themselves. Fear dominates their existence. These individuals would rather blame others for their failure than to examine themselves at any point of reference. They refuse routinely to participate in actions where there is a fair give and take. They do not know how to say no in a proper manner.
Individuals who have a belief system victimize themselves. In contrast, individuals with a faith system understand that a refusal to do something is often beneficial not only to themselves but to others. Examples abound, the parent who will not do the child’s report and allows the child to fail has done more for the child than could ever be imagined. The individual who does not loan money to let us say another or family member literally forces that individual soul to grow even if that soul finds it difficult to find the wherewithal to improve their lot. Individuals with this type of a faith system look at the physical plane and understand that it is perfectly acceptable to disappoint another if done properly. They do not shut out others who required their assistance. They do not allow themselves to be drawn into situations where they cannot prosper. These individuals understand the value of saying no properly. There is no benefit to always saying yes. This system of belief requires patience and tolerance. Their faith in themselves is unlimited. These individuals view and understand areas where they may intrude and areas where they cannot. Unfortunately, most individuals do not have the patience or tolerance to say no properly. They would rather victimize another by forcing their will upon anyone who will listen. Faith in refusal is a powerful weapon in the arsenal of an advanced soul. They refuse with dignity and allow the other soul to understand their position. Each of you must learn to strive to say no properly so that you will benefit from your actions as well as from another.
I have covered 2 out of my 9 segments. I will obviously continue on at our next meeting.
At this point we shall take a break. (9:19 PM)
Seth … Let us continue. We hope that we have given you a great deal to contemplate, therefore are there any questions?
Betty… Would someone have aspects of all of these?
Seth… It is obvious that for most individuals it would be impossible to have only one side of these concepts since you are a mixture of many different and creative ideas. One must understand that unless you are an old soul on level 6 or 7 you will always have a mixture to some extent of these concepts. Please note that none of you who sit around the table this evening are anywhere close to this level of maturity. Betty, are you satisfied?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Any other questions? If not the homework assignment for each of you is to come up with at least 3 valid questions on these subjects. What we will do at the beginning of our next session is to have each of you read into the session itself all of your questions. This is far too important to allow any of you off that easily.
Let me leave you with this. Learning to say no when used properly will allow you to give hope to all individuals and in doing so their needs will be met and their wants lessened. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… It is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We shall start off with some housekeeping. Kaetorina, you now have both books in your possession, so it is time for you to start reading. How long do you want?
Stephanie… No time limit.
Seth… If you are going to state, no time limit you might as well give it up now.
Stephanie… Ok December 2010.
Seth… No try again.
Stephanie… August.
Seth… September first, 2010. Actually, I was going to give you longer, but you said a shorter period of time and I agreed, this will teach you a lesson.
This evening has a great many possibilities under our major subject of Belief vs. Faith. For obvious reasons I am going to partially change my lecture. I’m going to ask a very simple question that I would like each of you to answer. Please make note that all souls ask this question. The question is, who are you? Do we have a volunteer to start?
Kaetorina you may start.
Stephanie… The question itself is so abstract, but I guess I would say depending on who I was speaking to I might change some of the wording, but I would say here that I am a 44 year old female who is a mature soul working on many life lessons including specifically trust issues. I am a therapist in my day-to-day job and a mother and wife. I enjoy life and enjoy the positives and joys of life as fully as possible. I see my life as a never-ending journey and look forward to what I will create in the future.
Betty… I am my mother’s and father’s daughter, my brother’s sister. I am the woman who lives at my address. I am the nurse practitioner at the clinic I work in. I am my friend’s friend. I am the person on the phone at these sessions. I am the person applying for a new job. I am the woman always seeking to answer this question.
Arthur… I am afraid of my answer, but I am going to go with what I immediately thought, and this is the second time this answer has come to me. I am Kayasha. I am incarnated as Arthur and I’m here to learn humility, toughness and a deeper sense of compassion.
Frank… I am me. I am the person behind the thoughts. I am what I believe I am. Sometimes I am a prosperous man. A lot of who I am, I don’t know.
Jasmine… My first thoughts were mother, wife friend in that order. A mature soul here to work on life tasks, struggling with many issues but having made progress on many others.
Seth… It is very interesting to note that for the most part most of your answers are childish, mundane and do nothing to answer the question. Let me explain simply that each of you must be defined by your actions. It is never enough to say I am a wife, husband, son, etc… By stating this you first state the obvious but more importantly so you do not define the I am portion of self. When one states that they are something the question always arises, what is that something? It is never enough to be complacent when defining self. One of the great questions on the physical plane must be looked at in terms of who and what you are. What are your belief systems, where do they lead you? Are you a content person by nature? Or are you fearful? Your egocentric view of the physical plane causes each individual to define themselves in a different manner.
What information do you allow in? Where do your beliefs take you? In simplistic terms is the glass half full or is the glass half empty? Each individual soul defines and redefines themselves by every action they take. Most individuals, if they saw a person in trouble by their own nature looks away. There are numerous examples where individuals have been killed while a massive group of onlookers stood by and did nothing. It is the rare individual who leaps forward and drags a child out from a burning car at risk to his own well-being. What you do defines what you are. One may ask how I know that which I am doing promotes my own well-being.
One must be a student of the physical plane, what do you see? What do you feel and how is your life going? Are you aware of your chance encounters? What seasonal players are you dealing with? Does your perspective of mass events leave you wanting? These questions are for the student who seeks to improve his/herself. The I Am gives one the ability to strengthen themselves. When an individual places themselves in another’s play to an extent that they are moved off center they become weakened and a victim of themselves. One must notice the repetition of events. One of the ideas that I have laid out is that of repetition of events. If you enjoy and prosper, events that surround you then you are defining the I Am within self. If you are fearful and bothered by that which surrounds you then one must move in a different direction. One must open themselves to new bits of information so that you may understand that the I Am is not static.
What is the purpose that you see for yourself? How many times do individuals ask, why am I doing this? Is the cry of someone who is truly lost? If you do not understand that which you do then how can one properly define that which you are? Remember each action that you take causes ripples within the self to change and grow in any direction. If you do not understand that which surrounds you, why is it necessary to continue in that direction? How does it serve you? These questions must always be asked if one is going to look at the purpose for any action and reaction that you might have. If you are afraid for self or for that matter another, what is the purpose of the fear? It is clear that your belief system is not functioning properly, and you certainly do not have faith enough in self to redefine that which you are.
These type of difficulty questions must give pause so that you may contemplate your own actions. How many times do individuals state, I don’t know why I did that, it just seemed like the thing to do. Do you find yourself repeating events and if so, where are they taking you? Most individuals move from moment to moment without understanding why. I am not stating that one must contemplate every thought or whim or event, it is never necessary to fully understand every detail of every event that passes you by. However, one must pay attention to the journey that you are on and find the easiest way to follow any path that you yourself have laid out. The idea of discovery helps define a faith system. The instinct that one has to succeed must be cultivated and nurtured as a garden is. If you do not water, feed and allow for proper growth during the spring and summer you will certainly be starving in the winter. When you place yourself in a position of weakness by being overly concerned with another’s actions you defeat yourself!
The following statement while simplistic should be a signpost for each individual. You are different from all others! Unfortunately, when most individuals think of themselves as different, they become fearful. They do not relish in their enjoyment of self. They try to conform to the accepted patterns of behavior that surround them. If you conform, what is your purpose, what are you telling yourself about I Am? In reality you are telling yourself that I am Not. Every individual should enjoy the fact that they are not only different from anyone else, but their differences create faith systems of belief that allow them to define who and what they are and cause themselves to prosper even in the face of criticism and adversity. So, we ask again, what is your purpose? How do you define self knowing who and what you are? Enjoy your differences, keep them close to you. Don’t conform since you lose yourself in the process.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:23 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions?
(Jasmine had problems understanding Seth’s verbiage and was discussing with group.)
Frank… You have said before that the I Am is a very powerful statement. How can one use I Am to help manifest what they would like to be?
Seth… If I was to ask everyone who would either read this material or who sat around this table this evening that question they would have a very easy time of it. You are looking for a methodology, a way to, therefore, you cannot. You have defined yourself as I am not capable of… So, until you define yourself as capable of, that question will remain unanswered. Are there any other questions?
I will leave you with this. I Am will enable you to fulfill your needs. I Am not increases your wants. As always you have free will and the choice is always yours. A pleasant evening to all.
Seth 420 Belief vs. Faith on Relationships and Friendship
Tuesday November 24, 2009
8:35 PM
Seth… It is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. A little bit of housekeeping. Isabella, I am aware that you have not been reading your list at least 2 to 3 times a day. The question arises why not? The answer was silence. It is becoming clear that you would rather complain, feel sorry for yourself, accuse others of not helping than buckle down and do the work. Kaetorina we will deal with some number issues after regular session. Jasmine, I noticed you had done a little bit of meditation, so the question arises why are you not doing it more frequently? The answer again was silence.
We have been dealing with belief vs. faith issues. It is understandable that difficulties arise when you try to compare and contrast the two. Unfortunately, an understanding of each side of the situation is necessary for any individual to allow themselves the luxury of deciding which system best fits which events. At the present points of reference the best that each of you can do is to try both systems on any given idea and pick whichever one seems to be the most profitable. One of the difficulties that souls encounter on the physical plane are classified in relationship issues. Relationships may be between one soul and a thing. Example, money this is a singular idea and a singular problem.
Relationships between individuals are far more complicated. When you have a relationship issue between two individuals it is not double, it is in reality four times the difficulty that one faces. Simply put, if you have ten individuals who are in a relationship issue the difficulty factor would be ten to the tenth power. If you have a thousand individuals with a relationship difficulty you would have a thousand to the thousands power. If one, then adds side issues and side problems with individuals who may only slightly participate in the relationship difficulty the problem quotient becomes astronomical. We shall try to confine ourselves to relationship issues that deal with no more than three individuals. In other words, you would have three to the third power and if you do the math, it is three times three times three or twenty-seven. When two individuals join into a relationship the first question that they pose is why are we in this relationship? It is obvious that for most this question is never asked. Each individual has a belief system that comes into play and clearly states this relationship has benefits.
As reference points move along these benefits start to become defined as to the quality of the relationship as defined by one of the individuals. The other individual defines the relationship in his/her own manner. It is rare that these two individuals at this point of reference sit down to discuss their belief systems that are now in operation. It is taken for granted that individuals will bring something to the table, the question arises, what are they bringing and why? As our relationship question moves forward there is a constant redefining of that which one party does for the other. At some point of reference, a friendship relationship has now been brought to bare upon our two parties. It should be noted here that I have refrained from defining male vs. female ideas since they are relevant in a sense of a beginning sexual attraction. This relevance quickly fades and the relationship issues soon become evident as if the parties were of the same sex. It should be noted again that male/female relationships will always have a side sexual component.
The belief system as friends is far more difficult than that of beginning acquaintances. A great deal of effort must now be placed upon the friendship aspect of a relationship. Your belief systems change accordingly. There are expectations and demands that the relationship must now suffer through. Ideas and disappointment are common in these situations. One party has an idea that the other should be doing something or bringing something to the relationship while the other soul may often become upset with the demands of the first soul. These friendship issues may last for quite a while. Each individual in the beginning of a friendship relationship is still trying to present themselves in the greatest light that they can. Most individuals are very careful of exposing themselves fully to the other. In the most simplistic terms one is able to keep a secret.
The secrets that one keeps quite often reach the core of one soul’s beliefs systems. The fear here is that to expose oneself to the other would place such a great demand on the friendship that the friendship could no longer survive. Quite often one will hear one individual say to the other, I didn’t know that about you, how come someone else told me? This in and of itself causes relationship issues to once again become more difficult. It is at this point in a relationship that defense mechanisms start to arise, questions are asked do I want this friendship to continue and if I do what must I do to prevent myself from being hurt? These issues mostly fear based cause great difficulty between two individuals since neither individual wants to expose themselves to the other.
As our relationship moves forward chances are often taken always in small steps. One individual will dole out portions of themselves to the other. It is at this critical nature where one individual exposes themselves to the other but desperately waits for the other half of the relationship to be as forthcoming. It is here that most friendships end in terms of one individual dealing with the other. If the other individual, due to their belief systems, feels comfortable they too will then start revealing small portions about themselves to the other. It is at this point that both individuals start to relax and allow their deepest feelings to come forth. When these feelings start to surface, they are quite commonly pushed down or ignored since the sense of trust between individuals has not been fully established. This area of difficulty is most common in females where the relationship issue revolves around a female/male relationship. It is far easier for two females to get past this area of difficulty than it is for any other type of relationship issue. Quite to the contrary male/male issues at this point of reference are often discarded since the males usually seek dominance. It is quite uncommon for two males to “share” their deep feelings. It should be noted that I am not stating that males do not share; I am stating that for the male it is far more difficult to enter into this type of relationship.
If at this point the relationship issue moves forward, the idea of friendship based upon belief systems is now changing to a system based upon love. This love system or relationship is the most complicated of all due to the fact that an expression of love on the physical plane has very little relevance to the idea of love in higher realms. It is at this point of reference that I would refer all of you to go back to my lecture series on love so that the nuances of this idea may be fully comprehended. When a love system or relationship is entered into the openness between two individuals has now expanded greatly. If the relationship is to succeed full and open disclosure of one party to the other is mandatory if any relationship is to prosper.
One must comprehend the idea that with a love relationship comes with the idea of hurt. One party will have expectations and the other will see things in quite a different manner. Unless both parties are open and can communicate their ideas then the love relationship is doomed to failure! Love relationships fail not because one party is open and one party is closed to a situation, but because one individual does not receive that which they expect. It is at this point of reference that belief systems are slowly discarded, and faith systems must come into play. In a true love situation, one will always find difficulties. One can always be hurt but one instinctively knows that the other party will be there and that both parties have the others’ best interest at heart. The faith system of love demands nothing, yet it receives everything. It receives because it has no wants. The two individuals communicate in a manner that befriends both of them and promotes both. Their communications uplift and enhance what they are. They instinctively know what the other requires. It is at this point the common term of soulmates is often used. Neither party needs to justify their actions, they know that they are what the other requires. When one is at this stage verbal communication is often unnecessary. A look, a glance, a touch, a reading of body language is all that is necessary to communicate the idea of love and prosperity.
It is at this point we shall take a break. (9:21 PM)
Seth… Let us continue.
It should be obvious at this point that relationship issues between individuals are highly diverse and certainly complicated. I would like to refer to each of you to a book, “The Nature of Mass Events” written by yours truly. The difficulty that a hundred thousand people have of how to participate in an earthquake becomes staggering. What are the ramifications of their agreements? How does one individual participate as compared to others? This is the great idea of the physical plane where relationships abound. One must also come to the conclusion that relationship issues are not only for mature souls but for souls of any age. If you then add in to the mix the idea of a relationship issue between a mature soul and that of a young soul one can start to comprehend the difficulties that must arise. Each individual is unique onto themselves. How they perceive and deal with any relationship issue is always on an individual basis. Are there any questions?
Frank… The concept of picking a faith system vs. a belief system can you give an example.
Seth… A belief system is always closed ended. When one deals with another individual one has a belief that that individual will bring something positive to the relationship. I would strongly suggest that you read and reread my beginning remarks on belief vs. faith ideas. As a relationship progresses one moves into a faith system. That faith system is of course open it has no actual beginning or end as described earlier one knows. As you mature you will be able to look at an event or a person and know which system best fits.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… So, as an obvious example you just meet a person for the first time you wouldn’t just launch into a faith system in this case the situation picks the system unless one is maybe being foolish. Correct?
Seth… Absolutely incorrect. It is incorrect for the most simplistic of ideas. You do not have the ability to see yet when you first met the man through whom I speak, you walked into this house with an air of disbelief. You asked a question about your mother-in-law and my answer since you were vague was she has difficulty in thinking. You left this house with a firm faith system in place.
Frank… A suitable amount of time passed and a sense of what I got from answers…
Seth… You do not have the skill to comment on that statement.
Frank… At that point I didn’t necessarily have faith that it was Jane Robert’s Seth, but I had faith it was important and that it might be that and then it moved along.
Seth… My comments still stand. Our friend Frank, who does not have the skill or the mental ability to comment on that, had a firm faith system in place. The reason that this statement is factual is due to the fact that he was looking for evidence not to come back.
Are there any other questions?
Betty… In this day and age in reference to male/female relationship issues where many men and women from my age group how do you get past when you cant go any further?
Seth… The answer is simple. Relationships fail due to the fact that both individuals do not understand, fulfill or promote the other. Communication here is the key to unlocking the door for happiness. Does that help you, Betty?
Betty… On some level it makes sense when there is so much caution it is very difficult to open this communication.
Seth… I believe that if you reread this session, you will eventually come to the part when one individual opens up and takes a chance to reveal past difficulties. I believe that will help you in your quest. If one opens up and the other does not then the relationship must end because it becomes so unbalanced
Stephanie… Can you describe how when one has trust issues, how this affects this connection process you described in the lecture?
Seth… When one has a trust issue one is hesitant to open themselves since they fear rejection. It is this fear that causes relationship issues to become more difficult. When one eventually requires friendship, one overcomes this type of fear with the hope of gaining more than they fear of losing.
Stephanie… But do the trust issues typically prevent most connections from occurring?
Seth… No, they hinder but do not prevent
Stephanie… In my case I am curious whether my trust issues specifically ended my friendships with let’s say my college friends and this person Jody who I met in a Hamptons share?
Seth… No, they caused you difficulties that could have been overcome but you found the relationship was lacking a prosperous nature and the relationship itself became difficult at best.
Are there any other questions?
Betty… Could you comment on my last relationship?
Seth… I believe you know more than anyone else. I believe you know where it ran into difficulties you gave and gave and gave.
Betty…. I mean the new one.
Seth… The facts remain the same there, didn’t they? One must learn to balance that which you require as compared to that which you could give. Do you understand?
Betty… Yes.
Frank… The idea of the difficulty quotient like with three people to the third power does the idea of the seven steps factor into that and what else does?
Seth… I believe I’ve already answered that question. I stated that relationship issues affect and are the same at any soul age.
Frank…. Not the soul age, self….
Seth… Those are the steps. If you are mature soul step number 4 you are working on certain issues. A mature soul on step two is working on different issues yet relationships between individuals and the process they go through are always the same. It is the outlook that is different an example here. You are working on authority with kindness; Jasmine is working on something different. Her relationships and how she forms them will follow in exactly the same path as yours do Frank, only your interests and outlook is different.
Frank… I don’t believe you understand… or I’m not understanding what I’m trying to ask. I’m not talking about the soul steps.
Seth… How you form relationships is completely different. I’ve given you an overview on how relationships are formed. You form the relationship by the outline I gave you this evening.
Frank…. So then going back partially to original question what goes into making… why is it three to the third power?
Seth… If you look at a relationship of two. There is how you relate to other and self etc. You do not have the ability to break down if a relationship was for three and therefore you do not have the ability to break down the 27 levels of difficulty. If you had ten individuals you certainly do not have the ability to break down 10 to the tenth power. All that is necessary for you to understand that the more complicated the system is the greater the difficulty in finding a successful conclusion to that problem.
Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this. In every relationship whether you use a belief system or a faith system one must look to the idea that that relationship must fulfill your needs and lessen your wants. Every individual has their own path. Each individual will eventually find their own way. Look for relationships that promote the self. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth 419 Belief vs Faith and the Power of Being Gentle
Tuesday November 17, 2009
8:30 PM
Seth… Good evening, it is always a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We shall start with a small bit of housekeeping. Kaetorina your next reading assignment are volumes one and two of the Unknown Reality. When you get your hands on both volumes, we shall discuss time limits.
That being stated we shall continue with our belief vs. faith topic. All individuals no matter what their soul age come to the physical plane to experience! These experiences always have obstacles or difficulties if you will in your path. There would be very little profit if the only thing that you came to experience was a slice of chocolate cake or a warm sunshiny day. This is not what the physical plane provides. These obstacles of course present various degrees of difficulty. Some individuals have the belief system that they can avoid them by either ignoring the problem or plowing through it. Both ideas are certainly not profitable. The difficulty here lies in the fact that when faced with difficulty fear, disappointments are primary players in how most individuals respond to their obstacles. The question then arises since anger is not helpful, what can one do to alleviate the situation? One of the few profitable ideas that your therapists have come up with is the simple task of learning to be quiet.
Using this concept, one understands that being gentle is the most profitable solution for most difficulties. Let me give you an example. A strong wind that blasts against a rock face will at times break off some pieces of that rock. Snowstorms and severe wind, hail, ice, rain will in the long run have little effect but the gentle flow of water running down will erode even the hardest stone. Examples here may be seen in the American West with areas such as the Grand Canyon. The gentle nature that one must possess must stem from within. When confronted with any difficulty it is important to remember that even your sports such as the Marshal Arts teaches gentleness as a way to use an opponents strength against himself.
When a difficulty is rushing towards you how profitable is it to try to stop the onslaught? Would it not be more profitable to simply step aside and let the difficulty play itself out? The gentle nature of your character must be found within your faith systems. The primary one of course is love. When you are angry there is a fear-based system that is operating. You cannot even love yourself under these circumstances. One must understand that with any obstacle your first choice must always be to promote yourself. If you do not have faith in yourself then how can you change what you see as a problem? Most individuals tend to repeat the same problems over and over again. They do this because they have not learned to be kind with themselves. They shift from their point of power to a weakened position. Their routine cry, “Why is this happening to me?” is often heard, followed by “I cannot understand why all of this seems to be repeating itself.”
There is an old expression that is somewhat universal “The meek shall inherit the earth.” This bit of information has been misunderstood for far too long. Most individuals believe that they have an inability to stand up for themselves. They “turn the other cheek.” It should be noted that I am not suggesting that you become a doormat and have individual’s step on you or over you, but you will learn to become strong by being gentle. An example here with the following idea. Most individuals know that a snowflake has little weight and has almost no strength at all yet the massive glaciers in your northern and southern hemispheres that during your ice ages, carved and shaped your planet as you now know it were made from small, insignificant snowflakes. There is great power within every individual. One must learn to channel your power in a manner that is not threatening to yourself or others. This is having faith in yourself. This is the inner strength that most individuals desperately need.
One of the ideas to a gentle approach is the concept of taking a suggestion. Far too many souls who inhabit the physical plane ask for advice but do not listen. These suggestions should not necessarily become law in one’s own mind but if you are going to ask for advice then the question one must first ask is that of self. Do you already know what to do or are you hiding from the true path of enlightenment? Individuals who seek enlightenment have a belief system that they search for and seek out information from others. They do not isolate themselves from information that they may use in whatever manner they find appropriate.
When a soul seeks information from another and then repeatedly asks the same question from that other individual or worse yet from numerous individuals one must question our original soul’s concept of the problem. If your chance encounters and answers to your question point you in the same direction, then one must come to the conclusion that the path of enlightenment has been clearly defined. (Problems often repeat. Chance encounters are messages from the universe to give you direction. They often come from strangers. An example of a chance encounter would be repeatedly getting your coffee served wrong until you learn to “gently” stand up for yourself. Another example of a chance encounter would be a Chinese fortune cookie that really hits the mark. Paying attention to patterns that repeat and asking questions and listening for answers is a good methodology to grow and work through obstacles. F.N.) When you choose to overlook and certainly not accept these facts then this is a clear indication that the major problem that you are facing is yourself. You certainly cannot love yourself if you cannot listen to what is being said.
If you cannot listen your emotions are out of control. Your fear about any difficulty is growing and you will find that you have very little control over your own thoughts and actions. One of the ideas that one must understand is that for centuries individuals who inhabit the physical plane have imbued power to objects. In olden times and even today they are called talismans. An example of one such talisman was that of the pet rock. Individuals believed that this rock would be calm and soothing. They gave it the power to be so. When used properly there is nothing wrong in doing this but one must come to the inevitable conclusion that you are in control of your own emotions. YOU ARE THE CREATOR!
If one takes the responsibility for their own creations and is not afraid of what surrounds them your gentle nature will allow the faith in self to emerge victorious. It is important to understand that one must take control not only of themselves but of situations that are causing difficulty for yourself. One of the ideas that individuals forget simply put is the idea of I don’t have to. If you believe that when you are facing a problem, you have to do something then of course you are limiting your own ability to promote yourself. In reality you have relinquished control of the problem and are looking for someone else to take charge. This individual has a belief system that does not favor themselves. They inherently believe that someone else has the answers. They are afraid to confront their own fears. They believe that their destiny is out of control. They choose not to “fight” for that which promotes them.
One of the ideas that I would like to leave you with this evening is the concept of removing fear. If you remove fear from the equation of a problem and understand that certain problems will have a positive outcome and others will not but as in any scientific experiment the negative result is often more profitable than the positive one. A negative outcome clearly shows the path that one should avoid. The more paths that you can avoid by learning and experiencing the greater the profit at the end of your incarnation. How you choose to remove the fear is in reality part of the difficulty that you face. Each individual must come to the conclusion that they themselves must be able to find their own path.
The final concept is that of balance. One must always be able to balance your desires against others. How do your problems affect others? Are you moving away from that which is profitable or are you trying? (Isabella and Stephanie went upstairs to discuss something. This break lasted over 40 minutes.Seth never came back so we ended the session.)
Seth… Good evening, it is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. A small bit of housekeeping. First so I do not tax the man through whom I speak I will give a short form of a lecture. I will then allow any questions to be asked. Please inform Isabella that cowardice serves no useful purpose. This is primarily due to the idea of fear. In simplistic terms fear prevents growth and development on all levels whether they be on physical plane or higher levels of education. Individuals who suffer from this dis-ease often find themselves in ever increasing situations where they are confronted with fear.
I am going to make and give a generalized statement followed by a question and we will see where this idea leads us. The man through whom I speak has been drawn to a commercial that he has seen on the television. This commercial deals with a movie called “The Box” and in this commercial an individual is asked to push a button. If the button is pushed our individual will receive one million dollars in cash. The consequences of this action will cause someone in the world to die. As previously stated, the man through whom I speak has been drawn to this idea. With the idea of belief vs. faith in mind I’m going to have each of you think about and then relate to something that you would want, but I do not mean “want” meaning something you need or desire that would make your life far better than what it is. It will be necessary for each of you not only to state what that desire is but to explain it fully. This question should not be taken lightly for in reality it reaches down into your very core beliefs. We shall go around the table and have each of you give your answer. If you require more time, we will allow you to pass but we will come back. Do we have a volunteer?
Arthur asked for a clarification of the question. As a hypothetical let us assume that you were in desperate need of money. The question would then be “I desire money because of” and you would state why that need is so paramount within you.
Frank… I would very much desire and feel that I need to and have actually begun writing a book. I feel that I wish to do this because it will further me as a teacher; I could do groups from having a successful book. I believe I could self publish but would rather have it with a publisher because of all that goes with it. I would like it to be the beginning of something else, something greater where I could travel and also have some of what I have learned here translated to out in the world and I feel this very strongly.
Seth… Do we have another volunteer?
Jasmine… My first thought went immediately to more money because I have; there are lots of things to do at home, lots of bills to pay, freer if I could buy some clothes. But then I think this is very shallow and I should think of more happiness and ways to accomplish that. Then I thought about Isabella, but no that’s not for me, this needs to be my own thing. What I come back to is to have more money.
Arthur… Actually I saw the answer for me in terms of money for me too but on reflection I desired and wished for is the ability to believe in self fully whether that means courage, strength, self-love and to have this so I could promote myself and realize my dreams. Workshops, traveling companionship, and wise and loving connections.
Betty… Something as acceptance as a general category. This would help me attract relationships in my life that are meaningful and enduring at work. Let me enjoy myself and be able to create a better life. To make peace with the past so as not to repeat it. Motivation to take better care of myself, exercise more.
Stephanie… There is no question that what I desire and require is to trust that all will be okay without always having what I would say is a positive outcome, to know and be at peace with whatever comes especially when it comes in an uncomfortable package. I need to trust and have faith in experiencing what the physical plane offers and to be able to allow this process more freely so I can give myself a chance to be happier. The idea of fear connects with all of this as well so it would mean having faith in the process and to enjoy the journey with all the bumps in the road.
Seth… This is an interesting collection of desires if you will and eventually when I ask, I would like you to place 2 boxes in the middle of your page, label one as yes and the other one as no. If you place an x or a checkmark in the box labeled “yes” you understand of course that there will be consequences to your actions. If you check the box “no” you will never obtain this important desire. In fact, you may have to spend lifetimes searching for the proper outcome. Therefore, take a moment or two and place your “x” or checkmark in that box. Remember my original statement was clear, if the individual was to press the button you will get the money and someone will die. If you do not press the button, you do not get your million dollars.
Far too many individuals prefer wishing instead of working. How often do you as an individual complain about something? Your complaint may be about a relationship issue; it may be about a fear or a lack of something. So, my question to you, my dear students, is what have you done, what action have you taken to alleviate your problem? It should be obvious that your lack of faith in self is spurred on by your lack of belief in a system that you yourself have created. If you do not create in a positive manner and allow situations to rule others to supersede your desires then ask yourself the following, how am I going to obtain that which I desire if I take no action to obtain it? Most individuals make foolish excuses for not. It is the rare individual who makes an excuse for trying even if they do not succeed. When one does not succeed one cannot classify this idea as failure. One must classify this as an attempt to seek prosperity.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:17 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions?
Jasmine… Are you saying by checking the boxes that what it means to check the yes box that you are facing the fears and willing to face the consequences in order to get what you desire as opposed to not doing it and being cowardly and copping out? It’s not like the movie where if you got what you want then you would know someone would die, I could never do that! This is totally different to me.
Frank… It’s kind of like the same in the sense that we treat our fears like life and death. What if this happens, so then we don’t act.
Jasmine… One of the consequences might be that it could be your own death.
Frank… The consequences for us could be much smaller than the death of someone yet we fear them as if they are.
Seth… One of the difficulties is obviously the fear of the unknown. When one views the idea of consequences one constantly forgets that inaction or a lack of belief in self has far greater consequences that are detrimental to individuals than anything else. An example here may be seen with the idea of the person who fears to go to a physician. They complain and are aware that something is not right, yet they do nothing. How many of these individuals end their incarnation in this manner? It should be noted here that I certainly do not advocate the idea of going to a physician from my previous writings but for this evening we have used it for a simple example. Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this. To push or not to push may be equated with wants and needs. The question always arises which will give you prosperity? Which will increase your desires? Which idea favors your faith systems? A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening, now time for a little housekeeping. First of all, Frank, I certainly do not mind your questions. The difficulty you are having is simple. You are trying to fit that which I have lectured on into a general framework of relativity. Even great minds understand that not everything can be looked upon in only one manner. I suggest that for the next two to three years you contemplate that idea and then write a report on it.
Arthur, one of the great difficulties that you have is being intolerant toward yourself so I’m going to ask you to do the following. On the table you have some cookies, some lovely cake and some chocolate cookies. We shall wait until you eat one. I believe that the one in the middle would be more to your liking. We shall wait till you eat one. Have a sip of your tea. Are you enjoying the cake? (Arthur sat intermittently enjoying and Seth said “interesting.”) Now that you have finished, simple question. Are you a bad person? (Arthur said no.) The lesson here is obvious. That which you perceive that you are you create in that image. As difficult as it was for you to eat and enjoy the cake the image that you create is that of a person who can enjoy something occasionally. It is the not allowing that deals with the belief system of I am not worth it which then feeds into a feeling of a lack of faith in self. By your own admission this statement is true and by your last statement you now know that one should begin to question their belief ideas.
Let me tell you a story. We will use our friend Frank’s name in the story. Frank Smith or if you prefer Nichols was driving along a fairly deserted road when he sees an older woman who has pulled over in her fairly new Mercedes. Frank knew very well that this road was rarely traveled yet he was pressed for time but decided at the last moment that he would stop and render assistance. Upon exiting the car, he immediately noticed that this older woman was cold and upset and he told her to please get into his 10 year old car and he would leave the heater on to warm her up. He finally found the jack and proceeded to crawl under the car to place it correctly, ripping the skin from his hands as he did so. He eventually changed the tire on the car and stowed away the jack and the flat tire in the trunk of the Mercedes. The elderly woman tried to pay him for his efforts and Frank refused but he demanded one thing from this elderly woman. He requested that should she find herself in a position to assist another she would do so. It is at this point that both individuals went their separate ways.
The woman drove for another 45 minutes to an hour and finally stopped to eat something before continuing her way home. As our woman entered the restaurant and sat down a very pregnant waitress came over gave her a menu and finally took her order. The elderly woman surmised that this waitress was at least eight plus months pregnant and was obviously having difficulty. When her bill finally came, she left the check with one hundred dollars and quickly left the restaurant. The waitress took the bill and the check and tried quickly to find the elderly woman. Failing to do so she returned to bus the table and there was a note written on a napkin which stated, I was asked that if I was ever in a position to help someone I would do so freely and as our waitress picked up the napkin 10 more one-hundred-dollar bills fell on to the table. Our waitress cried and wondered how this elderly woman could know how desperately she needed the money. When her shift was over, she returned home and was welcomed. When asked how her day went, she replied Frank Nichols, “You have absolutely no idea what a wonderful day I had!”
When one has belief and faith the universe provides that which you require. If one of the components was challenged, that you will find yourself at odds with yourself it is necessary to remember what goes around comes around as the old statement clearly shows. When one is positive and kind even in the face of adversity one is then able to receive a positive outcome. When you do this, you will find that you become comfortable with the feelings of self respect and even in desperate situations you will come to the conclusion that “I am” the individual who is responsible for my own happiness.
With this thought in mind, one must learn to serve your higher self in ways yet to be explained, you are a combination of your spirit self and your physical plane ego. Depending upon how you present yourself your ego is often called upon to take charge of your entire being. This idea is quite detrimental since the ego itself only points outward therefore questions arise. Am I worth it? How can all these things that seem to be so wonderful be happening to me? I must be missing something since my belief system tells me that I myself am not worth it. Let us ask a simple question how many individuals including yourself fall into this belief and faith trap? The answer is quite simple, most.
If one uses the idea of a “war” that war is defined as the battle between the spiritual self and the physical plane ego driven self. The spiritual self understands that there is conflict and has no need to win! This is faith in the idea that I will eventually succeed. I KNOW what I am. Since I know I am not concerned with momentary difficulties. The ego on the other hand is so goal oriented that any deviation from that goal challenges the belief system of what I am and falls back upon the idea of what I am not. If the ego is telling you that you are not, then the question must be asked why am I not, when in reality I know that I am.
As a weapon in this war, one must learn to use their imagination to create that which you perceive are the ideas, thoughts and feelings that you require for ultimate success! Your imagination is a tool that when used properly opens doors to greatness, success and ultimate prosperity. There is nothing on the physical plane that you cannot achieve! You achieve by using your imagination to form greatness out of mediocrity. Your imagination must be sharpened. Without practice you cannot succeed. The parent who does not allow a child to make age-appropriate decisions teaches their child that their belief system lies in someone else’s hands. That child never learns to achieve for themselves and is dependent upon everyone else.
One must learn responsibility, responsibility to self as well as to others. One must relax and at times let your responsibilities to self take precedents over your responsibilities to others. Faith in self must outweigh faith in others. If one learns to relax one must become a “child again.” If you are going to use your imagination properly it is necessary for you as an individual to search for and find your inner child. Far too often play is shunted aside out of fear of not being able to… It is this fear that prevents individuals from the most simple ideas of enjoyment such as watching a beautiful sunset, reading a book, enjoying a meal and being grateful for a good night’s sleep. These simple pleasures can and will restore your faith in yourself as well as your belief in the humanity of others.
One must learn to share your “true feelings.” The first individual that hides from these true feelings is the self. This occurs when our individual allows their ego to rule. When the ego rules the gestalt of your feelings narrows. You see only a limited view of the game of life. In truth you don’t know the score or the teams that are playing. To counteract these difficulties, one must learn to open themselves to the physical plane so that your spirit can give you information that was heretofore hidden. One of the more important factors in opening yourself is to be honest.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:18 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions?
Jasmine… I would like to ask a question about the imagination part. What are you referring to?
Seth… Imagination is the first step in creativity. It also with effort, works perfectly with the laws of attraction. If one imagines that they can be happy when used properly you will bring to yourself happiness. It will flow towards you as water flows down river in a stream. One states, “I am” that is the activation clause for achievement. An example here may be seen with the idea of the hernia surgery that the man through whom I speak is facing. He is indeed happy that he did not allow this difficult problem to develop into something serious. Therefore, his happiness is within himself, and he has created a situation that he will prosper from. He has attracted that which he required.
Jasmine… Are you saying he used his imagination that he knew things would work out and he would be happy about it?
Seth…. Of course.
Frank…. So, Jerry’s happy not only with avoiding a more serious problem but the fact that he created this. The discovering the problem and fixing the problem.
Arthur… But did he not also create the hernia?
Seth… Of course, he created the hernia and the question arises, so what? Does it matter?
Arthur… I wanted to ask about the melanoma. I’m grateful that I listened and I got the information that I went to the skin doctor.
Seth… Therefore, one should be pleased that your spirit gave you a profitable outcome.
Are there any other questions?
Jasmine… When I read the “Secret” they talked about the statement I am happy and behind that statement that if you don’t believe that then you can’t fool the universe. How do you get to the point where the “I am” statement is true to self and not just a statement of what you would like to believe?
Seth… First, I would strongly suggest that you read and reread tonight’s lecture. I spoke in some detail about being honest. One, as previously stated, one must be completely honest with first themselves since it would be impossible to be honest with others if you were not honest with self. Since it is impossible to fool the universe, one must ask the question why am I choosing not to be happy, and that of course is your starting point for the road that will lead you to eventual happiness. One cannot succeed unless of course one’s true feelings are examined.
Jasmine… Meaning for example, I don’t deserve to be happy, I’m not worthwhile…
Seth… Let us put this in simplistic terms when you would prefer to deal with others’ difficulties and then become so engrossed within those difficulties you are telling the universe that you choose not to look at self. It is far too easy to become so unhappy because of others than it is to improve oneself. If you were so worried about a dog, one cannot look at ways to improve your own situation. One thereby increases their own misery by avoiding that which you require. It is the person who after a loved one ends their incarnation, mourns for year after year and prevents themselves from moving forward. They tell the universe that I am not worth anything without…. The same is true for the individual who leads their life as but a reflection of someone else. They see themselves as if they were the other person. They become so involved with the other that they do not allow that individual to make their own decisions, in other words, they do the work for the other individual and do not allow that individual to prosper from their own mistakes. They remove individuality and prosperity from the other since learning is not allowed.
Are there any other questions?
Jasmine… Basically, you’re saying the person who does this is immersing themselves in someone else’s life to avoid working on their own?
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… And also hurting the other person?
Seth… Correct
Jasmine… It is similar to developing psychosomatic symptoms that are so extreme that you don’t want to look at something that’s right under the surface and important for your own growth. Is that correct?
Seth… That is correct. One must “banish” the other from your operating system.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Betty… What happens when it doesn’t involve another person but involves a negative belief system when I have to challenge certain thinking?
Seth… Simply put, one must ask themselves why do I believe that I am not worth it? What am I telling myself that prevents me from taking positive action? Am I afraid of hard work or am I just too lazy to walk out of the forest and into the sunshine? Are there any other questions?
Jasmine… I have questions about last week’s session. You talked about when soul enters physical plane with no baggage. The life baggage may be good or bad?
Seth… Correct… It is given to force you to think. Words are very poor communication. A wave of a hand, a tilt of a head is far better than the words. Every word is carefully measured therefore the reader is forced to interpret for themselves what each word means. Betty, you must learn to interpret your own concepts as you see them. You cannot fool yourself if you approach the difficulty in an open manner. You are choosing to view that difficulty from only one perspective. Are there any other questions?
Jasmine… Also in last week’s session…
Seth… Individuals who are content are immediately aware of negative feelings or thoughts when they enter their sphere of influence. They are uncomfortable at best with these feelings. When we are finished, you may speak to Kaetorina, and she will give an explanation at least for her about how she feels when she is unhappy.
Jasmine… So, when these people are unhappy, they are more aware because they are usually happy?
Seth… Let me leave you with this. What goes around comes around. The battle between spirit and ego on the physical plane is never ending. Use your imagination, become a child. Share your true feelings with self and with others. Be honest, in doing so you will find that your belief and faith systems even in the most difficult of times will lead you away from disaster. Your needs will be easily met and your wants lessened. A most hearty good evening to all.
Well, let’s hope no one has to carry this much baggage!
Seth 416
Belief vs. Faith, Life as a Train Ride and the Baggage We Collect
October 13, 2009
8:40 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. A little bit of housekeeping. Jasmine, how often did you read and reread last week’s session?
Kaetorina, how is your book reading coming? Did you know you have until mid-November to finish the book? For our friend Frank, please note that I understand that you have quite a bit of difficulty in understanding Belief vs. Faith issues since we have just started you will have to be patient so that the mysteries will be eradicated as we move along.
Let me tell you a story. Each soul that enters the physical plane comes with no baggage and if you consider the physical plane as a train ride you embark upon the train with nothing. As soon as you enter the physical plane you start collecting baggage. First the love of your parents, the warmth and comfort of what hopefully is a proper home. You will develop relationships with brothers, sisters and friends. These relationships including those with your parents may either be positive or negative. Your faith in these relationships adds more baggage to that which you have already accumulated along your train trip. You will find that your belief in friendship at times will be justified and as often is the case those friends will move to a different compartment and seemingly pass from view. Whether or not they move away from you or choose to come back into your compartment is something that will be decided upon by future events. Please note there is nothing that would prevent you from looking for these friends in other compartments. Far too often you do not. As linear time passes, you will find that in most cases you will pick up a mate who will share their baggage with you and of course you will share yours with that other soul. The process continues and if you decide to have children, more baggage is added to your burden. Finally, your destination is reached, and you will exit the train with all of your accumulated baggage. It is at this time study and self reflection takes place so that your experiences on the physical plane are categorized and filed where they belong.
The belief and faith systems that you accumulate during your journey may be either positive or negative, in reality it is what you did with those belief and faith systems that matters for your own personal growth and development. One must learn to spread love to as many individuals as you possibly can. It is this idea that will help transform your experiences whether belief or faith into something that you can not only enjoy but prosper from. An example of spreading love may be seen in this evening’s meal where Kaetorina dropped her shoe upon the floor. A total stranger jumped up from her seat and gave the shoe back to her. Her kindness was overwhelmingly accepted by the entire dinner party but by her family as well. That individual’s belief system gives rise to the idea that doing something for another has benefits. You may feel and manipulate those benefits to your own advantage as this individual did. Let me explain. In a negative belief system this individual would have made a derogatory comment. She would have laughed at the fact that someone had lost their shoe. Kaetorina might have been embarrassed and would certainly have been upset with others laughing at her. This of course would have given Kaetorina the belief system that a random act of kindness serves no useful purpose.
With a positive belief system individuals tend to convert that system into a faith-based idea system thereby granting themselves access to enjoyment, happiness and comfort that they can either supply to others or have others give to them. One should notice that in a faith system there is always a give and take. The idea of yin and yang should be kept in mind when dealing within any faith-based system. In a belief system most of the energy that is expended flows in only one direction. This is obvious since belief systems are closed. When one learns to be positive even in the face of distasteful events one learns to thrive and prosper no matter what the situation.
When a soul thrives the idea of the law of attraction comes into play. This of course is true with both belief and faith systems. The old expression, you get what you pay for is factual here. If one learns first in a belief system to attract positive ideas and then one manipulates those ideas into positive outcomes, you have attracted to yourself that which you need! When one operates within a negative system one attracts that which you believe you require. It should be noted that negative ideas and events will tend to repeat themselves over not only a span of years but of lifetimes until those incendiary thoughts have been extinguished. One of the more difficult tasks that individuals face is the rejection of negative systems. Unfortunately, the physical plane, at least as you understand it, provides ample opportunity for negativity. Individuals constantly say why does this happen to me? I don’t understand it I tried so hard. The truth here is simple you cannot fool yourself. You are the creator of that which you see, feel and experience. If you are responsible for all this then the choice becomes simple. When faced with a negative system, whether belief or faith one must learn to reject those ideas. I have often said that the truly gifted individual observes and learns from any negative line of study. One does not have to participate in any study that you do not feel is profitable for your own growth and development.
The rejection of a negative system has multifaceted effects. The simplest of all is the opening of a pathway to profit and enjoyment of learning itself. How often has it been said that that person only learns the hard way? They never seem to take the easy road. They consistently choose to make themselves afraid, upset, and angry at others as well as themselves. They see evil in events where no evil is present. They are like magicians; they conjure up events by slight of hand to prove their point. Yet, when the light of truth is shone to them, they react badly. One must question how much have they learned. Do their chance encounters change, or do they still repeat the same message over and over again?
One must learn to become aware of your own thoughts. It is routine for individuals who have a faith system where happiness and contentment abound to be aware of their thoughts and feelings that are positive in nature. Fortunately, they are more aware, and they concentrate upon those thoughts and ideas that are negative! When one is aware of your negative thought patterns and recognizes them for what they are, your positive belief systems operate in such a manner as to control your creative patterns so that one does not have to participate in that line of study. The individual who chooses not to possess this ability moves directly into that negative line of study and becomes embroiled with others’ negativity as well as their own. An exercise for individuals who find themselves in this latter category is to stop and meditate on that negative idea. In doing so you encourage yourself to find a solution to that problem. It is the idea of pausing and giving yourself the chance to operate on a different belief system that will allow you to develop a faith system based on prosperity instead of a belief system that is based on negativity.
It is important to remember that all belief systems are routinely manipulated by yourself as well as others. If you choose to attract that which is positive, then the idea of dealing with negativity must be examined when it first surfaces. Far too often one says or does nothing when confronted with a distasteful event. The simplest of all answers should be repeated, why did you say that to me? How will it help me, are questions that one must immediately ask the other. When you let the other escape, you encourage your own misery! So, the question finally arrives which systems do I have? Which are primary in my consciousness? These questions, ideas, feelings should be examined by all.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:23 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Again, for those of you who need reminding I strongly recommend that you read and reread these lectures from one week to the next.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Can we give this to Isabella?
Seth… Yes, you may give this to both Arthur and Isabella.
Stephanie… I have a question about feeling more in control with the idea of a belief system because you can manipulate it versus a faith system. Can you explain how one can feel in control in a faith system because it’s so open?
Seth… The answer to that is simple. In the most simplistic terms at this point of reference my answer is simply put. You do not need control in a faith system since you already know that the outcome will be favorable. In a belief system you look towards someone or something and instinctively hope that they or you are doing the correct thing.
Stephanie… You mean in one you are relying on the universe in the other you are relying on people?
Seth… When one says that you are relying on the universe, I question that statement since you do not have the intellectual capacity to understand what that statement means. When you have a belief system you either are and can manipulate physically something or someone including yourself. In a faith system all that is necessary is to know that this is proper and positive.
Jasmine… When you asked your question about control, I instinctively understood that in a faith system what is going to happen will happen. You have been talking about a faith system that something proper is going to happen, can’t something negative also happen?
Seth… Of course. I am using a faith system at this point of reference in only a positive way.
Stephanie… Is this because of the idea that all is positive, even the negative because it’s all learning? Or did you do this for a different purpose?
Seth… At this point in your learning, we choose not to confuse the issue with negative faith systems. Most individuals have a difficult time with the concept of belief vs. faith. They look at this as if it were good versus bad. The good of course being faith.
Stephanie… But you have already said that having faith means that there is always a solution so why are you framing it in this way now?
Seth… A solution is always within any belief or any faith system. A solution can be positive or negative. It matters not. In a belief system a solution enforces that idea. In a faith system the solution reinforces yourself. Therefore, in a faith system one comes to recognize themselves as the creator.
Stephanie… You mean depending on how they typically create either positive or negatively then the faith will typically follow this line of creation?
Seth… A faith system, as any belief system always follows that which you create. In a faith system it is THE KNOWING. In a belief system it is the hope for a positive outcome. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes.
Jasmine… But a person who has a negative belief system usually doesn’t believe that there will be a positive outcome. Is that correct?
Seth… That is correct.
Frank… Why is it that as you grow belief vs. faith questions increase?
Seth… As one accumulates knowledge one instinctively understands that there is a great deal that they do not comprehend. In fact, the more one learns the more one realizes that there are many more questions yet to be discovered.
Frank… The more you learn the more you realize what you don’t know.
Seth… Correct. Do you want to go back to the question I warned you about?
Frank… My trouble, one is thinking faith is good, belief is bad and that there are more beliefs about things than there is faith about things is part of my insistence to be absorbed by every detail and this is erroneous.
Seth… That is correct. However, one must also understand that individuals who deal in a negative belief pattern become so engrossed with that pattern of behavior that it branches out and incorporates all facets of their incarnation. While these individuals would certainly not believe that they are always unhappy the truth is that they are always looking for the disappointment in anything that is just around the corner. To put this simply they understand that the glass is always half empty and no matter how many times they refill it or have someone else fill it their thirst for what they believe is the truth can never be satisfied. It is this lack within themselves due to fear that causes their thirst.
Jasmine… So as a person whose belief systems are negative, and I’m speaking personally, besides the faith in The All That Is which is a positive one, beliefs can be changed. I need to when I get into that frame of mind which seems constant, I have to stop and say I can make it better, I don’t have to think that way etc. Also, what would be an example of a negative faith system in which I live?
Seth… A negative faith system that you live by is the knowledge that your children must learn the hard way. That is a faith system due to the fact that you cannot physically change the way they function on the physical plane. You do not have that power. One of the ways to change a belief system as I stated previously is to pause, become aware of your thoughts and to meditate. One meditates on the negative thought first to understand it and second to seek a solution so that you do not have to function with that thought in simplistic terms you changed your path. As an example, when you are dealing with your sister who made a negative suggestion of what you should do since you did not have an immediate answer to her question or statement you then must pause and meditate on that question or statement. In doing so you will then find that first you did not like what she said. Say it once and let the universe provide you with an answer. Upon further reflection you will have understood that your sister is pushing her thoughts and feelings upon you. Once you realize she is doing this you may then easily reject what she states. At a later point of reference, you will then have the ability to make a counter statement changing her negative ideas so that they become positive to you by telling her that this is her problem and not yours and that if she is concerned with that problem than it is incumbent upon her to deal with that problem. You will then have an ability to observe her problem, not participate in it thereby ignoring her feelings on that subject. When you do this, you increase your belief in your strength and your dedication to self. Do you understand?
Jasmine…. I do understand that example.
Seth… But that example may be used with all difficult problems. Another example. When Isabella complains one must pause. If you do not have an immediate answer meditate and understand this is a repeating difficulty for her and the solution for her is to find her own answer. You will thereby remove yourself from her path of problems. You do this by not participating in a repeating system of chance encounters. Do you understand?
Frank… Do you believe it’s too difficult to meditate close to when these things are happening?
Jasmine… The example with my sister is totally different than what happens to me with Isabella. My sister’s belief system is that we have to lift my mother’s spirits up. I know this is not true, but I will willingly just a little bit, lift my mother’s spirits up but not to my own detriment. The Isabella thing is the hardest for me to deal with.
Seth… Is meditating hard for you: Yes or no?
Jasmine… Yes.
Frank… Is it true that right after an encounter one can just quiet themselves for maybe 30 seconds and do the necessary meditation?
Seth… When confronted with difficulty either on the phone or in person one may state let me think about that. Meditate then to help yourself find a solution.
Jasmine… I’m not supposed to say that on the phone am I?
Seth… You certainly are. When Isabella complains about her worries you can say let me think about that or let me call you right back.
Jasmine… I don’t have to think about that!
Seth… Yes, you do. It gives you time to extricate yourself from her!
Let me leave you with this. I believe over the next number of days one must look in your own compartment to see what baggage you have accumulated and ask the following question. Does my baggage help me fulfill my needs and lessen my wants? If it does so be it. If it does not then perhaps, I better shop for new luggage. Enjoy the drive and for your sake make sure the train trip is pleasant. A hearty good evening to all.
Belief vs. Faith and Seeking to be the “Perfect Teacher”
October 6, 2009
8:47 PM
Seth…Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. A little bit of housekeeping after the excitement of Kaetorina’s tooth. In speaking of
Kaetorina and in consultation with some of her teachers and spirit guides we have determined that she will gladly have her name placed in Frank’s newsletter.
We are starting to deal with belief and faith. One may consider the idea of contrasting value systems which of course is not factual. There are numerous positive belief systems as well as numerous negative belief systems, the same of course may be said about faith systems. Each system has value in its own way. It always depends upon the creative nature of individuals and how they choose to interpret those systems. One may ask a question what is a perfect teacher? The obvious answer of course is that nothing is perfect but that deviates from the spirit of the question itself. A perfect teacher allows the student to succeed even when mistakes are made. That same teacher will of course allow the student to fail even when success is at hand. Every teacher knows that doing the work for the student only prevents that student from ultimate success. If one is given the answers, how much learning can truly occur? This idea in and of itself has great ramifications for student and teacher. While it is difficult to allow anyone to fail it is more difficult to foster success on any student who is not ready for the following step.
Questions always arise, and I have stated this before, why didn’t you give us that information a long time ago? One must understand that the answer you were not ready for, it simply means that you could not fully incorporate those ideas into your current system of beliefs. The inability to function on that level dilutes the effectiveness of the learning itself. While many individuals tend to believe that they were ready most individuals cannot absorb the basic foundation of knowledge until the proper cornerstones have been laid. From a larger viewpoint it is far more profitable to deal with faith systems than it is with belief systems. Any belief system, even extremely positive ones, have limitations. Those limitations inhibit full growth and absorption of material in a proper manner. It is the readiness to function on higher levels that allows your experience on the physical plane to be translated into knowledge that you will then be able to carry with you from lifetime to lifetime.
To accomplish this idea, one must be open to all situations whether those situations are positive or negative. The belief in self is the first steppingstone to knowledge. Questions are always asked, do you like yourself, and it is not surprising that a vast majority of individuals have great difficulty with that answer. Their belief system about self lacks the internal drive to force themselves to accept that which they do not like about themselves so that they can find the wherewithal to make changes in their own personality. When this belief system is finally mastered the difficulty here lies in the translation from a closed system to an open one, i.e.: faith system of belief.
One of the ways to accomplish this task is to learn to be open! Most individuals close themselves off since they feel that their own agenda is more important than their eventual growth. In simplistic terms it is the, I want it now syndrome. When confronted with this difficulty many individuals believe that the teacher is withholding information or preventing proper learning by not allowing a free exchange between the two. If you are open your faith system of belief guarantees that you will instinctively know that your questions will be answered either through life experience or by direct question and answer. One of the difficulties that individuals have is the fact that they make judgments usually based on incomplete and improper information. One cannot learn if your system of judgment operates in a closed area. This simply means that all information has not been gathered. You base your opinion on your desires and not upon fact. The large component of this type of belief system is fear. Fear itself while profitable in some systems is detrimental here due to the fact that it prevents one from viewing situations in an open manner. Fear may be expressed by the desire that I must know everything about something. Fear is expressed by increasing your wants and decreasing your needs. An example here, I want this so badly. Fear is expressed in this system of beliefs by involving yourself with someone else and their play. This occurs since you do not permit or will not allow the other person to fail. Fear in this system of beliefs is the refusal to let go of past problems. It is the morbid necessity to live and relive ideas and events at numerous points of reference that cause pain and anguish to self.
One must then move away from this repeatable situation first by opening your heart. It should be noted that I am not saying that one should never care for another. I am stating clearly that it is necessary for all individuals to be properly involved with others but not to the detriment of self or anyone else. The idea of opening your heart to yourself will allow love to reside within you. One of the ideas that one must ask is does it really matter? When dealing with others you will find that you become so involved that you do not function so the question does it really matter is stated so that you may move away and allow the other soul to create and function at their own level. This again leads us back to the idea that you are the perfect teacher. You must use your own life experiences to master situations that cause you problems. It is obvious that if you open your heart you will find within yourself great strength. This strength will allow you to function even in the most difficult of situations.
When another has hurt you and you seek revenge your sense of judgment of what is correct or incorrect must be called into question. It is far simpler to detach oneself from that individual than it is to seek revenge. In this way you are opening your heart to another. You have chosen to move away and detach yourself from their influence. If someone has no power over you the question is how can they hurt you? It is obvious that this type of “revenge” is more devastating to another since they cannot influence you at all. One must be aware that you cannot be perfect. Of course, you will make errors in judgment and with those errors cause pain to someone else. When these situations arise, one should find the courage to apologize and ask for forgiveness whether the other soul forgives you or not matters not. You yourself have found the ability for growth and development.
Belief vs. Faith is always a difficult situation. Where is the profit when faith fails? How should I judge success or failure? Am I open or closed? Do I accept all situations and try to learn from them? Is my heart open first to myself and then to others? When these questions can successfully be answered you will find that you yourself are the perfect teacher.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:30 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions?
Isabella… It was brought to my attention that my belief system in regards to relationships is negative in terms of that all men are evil and that relationships are doomed to fail and now I’m transferring that belief system into my new relationship and looking for things which are “proving” that my belief system is correct when I’m not really sure that it is. How does one move past a belief system that’s failing?
Seth… Any belief system that is no longer profitable requires work. First to understand where that belief system has failed you, and second in the larger sense, do you find it necessary to change your point of view? The idea that one must examine themselves first is paramount to the success that change is necessary. The examination of self will give you a sense of direction on that which you can accept and upon that which you must disregard. Therefore, the question arises; from past experience you might say that all men are evil. If you believe that statement is factual you do not need to change. If you do not believe that statement is factual then one must look internally for the solution to that question. In other words, since my past experiences with men have led me to that belief system what is it about me that causes me to choose those types of individuals? From our series of lectures on Change it is obvious that the first change must be self. When one decides that I matter I will therefore promote within me my best features, and in doing so I will learn to love and enjoy that which I am.
Are there any other questions?
Isabella… So, what you are saying is that I’ve still chosen that type of individual.
Seth… We are dealing with past relationships, not current.
Isabella… So, if that’s the case how do you move past it? How do I not use past experiences in the present relationship?
Seth… I would ask the following question. Let us assume that you like strawberry ice cream and have only eaten strawberry ice cream for as long as you can remember but now you find you are allergic to strawberry ice cream, does that mean that one should never have ice cream again? It is obvious that one changes by making the decision that I am going to find a profitable solution to my difficulty. I may try chocolate, rum raisin, vanilla before settling on my new favorite of rocky road. It is the trying to change that is profitable when you find something that does not work as you are obviously doing at this point of reference one should then as you have done is to try a new flavor.
Isabella… What does that mean?
Stephanie… It does not mean to get a new man it just means to change your ways to make it more profitable for you.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… The idea of cornerstones, is that a generalized concept or specific to the student or actually both?
Seth… What do you believe it means?
Frank… When I was asking the question then I thought, both.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… You used an expression that confused me. You said faith system of belief I thought faith systems and belief systems are different things?
Seth… The idea of a belief system and the idea of a faith system are two different entities. The word belief in terms of a faith system of belief is the operating system of faith. A belief system of belief is the operating system of belief. The word belief here has two different meanings depending upon where it is used. Do you understand?
Jasmine… I understood they were two different things. Belief is something you can change.
Seth… The word belief is meant to imply the functionality of the system. What comprises it?
Jasmine… Can you give a concrete example?
Seth… Notice by the way that when you speak it is difficult for Kaetorina to type, yet if one found it necessary one could transcribe that which is necessary. The concepts are not meant to be fully understood by just listening. A faith system. Do you believe in God? The answer there is yes. The why you believe in God and the answers you would give are your beliefs in that faith system of God. Do you understand?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… How can I use the idea of faith in my problems of trusting?
Seth… Trust in itself has two components, first in self and then in others. But there are two more components, belief in self and trust in self combined with faith in self and faith in others. Trusting is allowing oneself the luxury of being correct without judging others or inflicting your influence upon another. The question here is how do I know? The answer is simple if you have faith you don’t have to know. Belief always requires an answer. It is never necessary if one has faith in yourself than the actions of another while painful at times will not affect you in the long run. This is true since you will be capable in trusting yourself to extricate yourself from whatever difficulty you find yourself in. Think of trust as a complete circle when the circle is fully closed, your belief in self and others is equal to your faith in self and your faith in others. When this circle is open you allow opportunities to escape. An example here may be seen in a very old story and that story is of course Pandora’s Box, all that remained was hope and that is enough to restore that which you require for success.
Trusting is a relationship issue in and of itself. One must learn that the idea of giving someone else the ability to hurt you is the essence of trust. If you are consumed with the idea that you are the only one capable of protecting yourself then of course you cannot trust. You will then look for every opportunity to open your trust circle and allow precious opportunities to escape. Of course, trust must be earned, and it is true that others will disappoint you but the greatest horror that you face is not trusting yourself since the circle then has allowed even hope to escape. Which is better having only yourself to fall back upon or to develop relationships where others may assist you in your times of need? These are the issues where trust needs to be earned. Start with self and allow others to assist.
Did that answer your question?
Stephanie… Why would I want to give someone the opportunity to hurt me?
Seth… When you give someone the ability to hurt you, you are saying that I know you have my best interest at heart. An example here is the relationship between a loving couple. Is it not true that there are numerous times when one or the other partner does something that devastates the other? If there was no trust or no love, then the actions of the other are inconsequential.
Let me leave you with this. The perfect teacher allows for success and failure. Use your life and the experiences within to increase your needs and lessen your wants. A most hearty good evening to all.
Seth… It is obvious that you are a teacher. (Said to Isabella.) The question here that arises is what would you think of a teacher who would consistently tell their student that they are stupid, dumb, ineffective, and incapable yet expect that student to excel academically? The answer is quite obvious. The teacher has caused a belief system to develop that prohibits growth. It should be noted that there are many belief systems that are perfectly acceptable and should be encouraged at various points of reference. When one finds themselves repeating actions over and over again, one must come to the inevitable conclusion that you are locked into a mobius loop system of beliefs. (A mobius loop is never ending. If you take a strip of paper give it a half twist and paste the ends together you have a mobius strip. It is the universal icon for recycling. F.N.) The constant cry here is simple:
HOW DO I KNOW?
With this type of belief system one never knows since it is impossible for that individual to escape that mobius loop. These types of situations inflict great damage upon the individual who seeks to justify their actions by this type of behavior, these individuals go to great lengths to “Prove” that the other is at fault. All the while forgetting… I AM WHAT I CREATE!!! In these types of belief systems, the individual seeks to blame others for their own weakness. Statements such as, I don’t like, I don’t want… are clear indications of the desperation that these individuals foster upon themselves. When one becomes desperate to prove or disprove anything, reason is shunted aside and conjecture substituted due to the narrowing of the egocentric viewpoints of that individual. When one is “sure” one embarks upon a series of actions that will force “proof” of any belief system. How do I know, is the question since those individuals do not have the ability to clearly foresee the future. Those in a mobius loop belief system grab parts of what they believe is the whole and then conjecture the rest.
The student who has this type of belief system often finds themselves in a position where they must dilute their belief systems in order to prove that they are correct. If one was to read our first session, I describe a country road, and I ask after completing that journey have you ever left? In a very large sense this is a description of a journey that all souls make. They leave The All That Is, travel and eventually return to The All That Is. They will then take a second and third journey when they deem it necessary. Each journey is obviously more complicated than the preceding one. The same is true with a mobius belief system. The individual does not realize that they are acting and reacting to the same stimuli. They become fixated on an idea, event, and or a series of actions that others take. These types of individuals look for the worst. They create the horror that they so dread. Individuals themselves routinely look for solutions outside of their greatest assets, which is of course themselves.
Only the individual has the wherewithal to change that system. It becomes necessary for our individual to derail themselves and then recreate themselves anew.
One of the ways an individual derails themselves is by coming to the conclusion that their system is failing. Now the question here arises, is the interpretation of the last statement meant to imply that the individual is failing, or the individual is embarking upon a road/path that has led the individual to a high mountain pass instead of a smooth highway? One of the great healing powers that the universe provides are two simple words, I’m sorry!!!
If one says I am sorry the first individual who must accept those words are the self. It is impossible to heal anything without the proper medication. The salve of healing must be liberally applied to the self. The healing power of I am sorry must be taken in as the dry parched earth absorbs water after a slow and steady rain. When there is an exceptionally heavy rain on dry parched earth the water flows away and does little good. It is the slow and steady progress of slow droplets of knowledge that must be allowed to soak in so that the hunger or the fire of fear can be extinguished. It should be obvious that there is no easy solution to this type of belief system. What work have I done to cause myself to be in this type of relationship difficulty? Do you expect someone to constantly do for you? Do you believe that the other, male/female, is the savoir, fix-it man who by a magic wave of his arm with solve all of your difficulties? Remember you are what you create, and there is nothing within the universe which can change this fact.
The cry of “how do I know,” is foolish since is accomplishes nothing and leads you higher up the mountain of despair.
The student who says I do not know is truly brilliant for they open the door to knowledge and success. If another is going to fail the brilliant student gives them the opportunity to do so. This is the great experience that the physical plane has to offer. Each individual soul experiences all that the physical plane offers. You do not skip grades. You are not promoted. Problems are not washed away. Li Chang (Li Chang was a friend of Jerry’s who also had psychic talent.) has spent 800 lifetimes contemplating negativity and failure. Yet from those dismal ideas he has grown, and it should be noted that he cannot fail. Every individual soul learns to escape negativity, belief systems, by recreating what they are.
When one deals with faith, they come to understand that within every situation there will always be positive and negative consequences to their actions as well as actions of others. The mass consciousness beliefs that cause war, pestilence, famine, are learning experiences so that all souls may profit from viewing their trials and tribulations. The way out of these “desperate” situations is a simple matter of meditation, reflection, and finding the desire to allow oneself to fail knowing full well that ultimate success will always be yours!
(The above session was given to Isabella on October 4, 2009.)
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here with me this evening. A few bits of housekeeping. From the previous discussion it is obvious why I have always stated that verbal communication or for that matter written communication leads one astray. One should be wary of words in any form. Information that you require should be received by individuals in nonwritten or nonverbal ways. Examples of this may be seen with individuals who study facial expressions and body language. (I believe Seth was referring to whatever the communication was going on right before session. He has stated numerous times that language is the “worst form of communication.” He advised that when listening that we should listen with our eyes and with “ears that do not hear,” meaning listening beyond hearing to like a sixth sense. Good listening should include seeing body language and facial expressions, hearing not just the words but the tone, listening for context meaning not only background information but for example does the body language match the words? Also listening with your feelings and yes, your intuition or sixth sense. Furthermore, it is a good idea at times to ask for clarification to make sure you understand. This not only can clarify for you, but also for the speaker who will often feel validated because they are understood. F.N.) Continuing on with our housekeeping. Kaetorina, if you remember our last private session I instructed you to read last week’s session at least four times. Your answer you did? Proves my point that both you and the man through whom I speak have major trust issues. We will deal with this in a stern manner later. I have asked all those except for George to look at the idea of belief vs. faith and come up with some questions on that subject. Before we go on I will ask Kaetorina to type and then read into the record what I have previously explained to her.
A belief simply put is something you can feel, see, touch, hold on to and manipulate. Faith is invisible. It has no substance yet, in reality it is the strongest force on the physical plane. Belief in self, you can feel and motivate yourself. If you truly believe in The All That Is, that is faith. If you have a belief that God will help you that is not faith. A result-oriented individual requires positive results or success. Success is always pleasurable in whatever system you are dealing with, yet failure when placed in a faith system will allow you to fulfill your needs, your wants will be lessened, and your ultimate success will be guaranteed. All belief and faith ideas are based upon “how do I know?” The greater the growth that people have, the more we will see belief vs. faith problems.
With these ideas in mind, we start the concept of comparing and contrasting ideas and value systems. The individual who questions that which is and allows themselves to create freely excels whereas the individual who accepts and does not challenge the status quo and is concerned with only themselves fails to understand that they have created their own difficulties. I have previously stated that a belief system is closed. This is factual under any set of circumstances. You cannot manipulate a faith system. It exists independently and outside of your own reality. With this in mind I have asked each of you to come up with some questions about belief vs. faith. Do we have a volunteer?
Isabella… How can I have faith in my relationship without constant fear of things going wrong?
Seth… That question in and of itself must be changed. The word faith there must be changed to belief. This is obvious because of the following: You can manipulate your own feelings, they change. You are concerned, worried about. The idea here is not about faith in self since you do not know but belief in how one is going to handle a difficulty or a problem? The individual who worries about something, a relationship issue, their child, a monetary difficulty, their marriage, their job, are all dealing with belief difficulties. You deal with a belief difficulty in ways that can be manipulated, changed. Remember most individuals would choose success over failure. The belief is that I require something to turn out and become positive. Failure to higher individuals is a learning experience that allows the individual soul to generate experiences that will carry them through lifetime after lifetime.
Frank… Can you give an example of how faith can be manipulated?
Seth… There are no examples. If you have a faith that there is a higher being show me how you can touch it, manipulate it or change it? Do you understand?
Frank… I’m grappling with it. Belief in the devil is simply a belief?
Seth… Let me ask you a different question. Within the known universe can you have up without down?
Frank… No
Seth… Can you have right without left?
Frank… No
Seth… Therefore, can you have good without evil?
Frank… This might be a cop out. Yes.
Seth… Show me how?
Frank… It is the absence of good.
Seth… No. That is evil
Frank… Not how many understand it, the devil is considered a malevolent, on purpose force as opposed to say ignorance or people acting out in pain or without understanding.
Seth… Simply put, the answer here is obvious since you are responsible for your creations and therefore you are what you create the idea of a devil is in reality you yourself. When one understands this simple fact that the concept of a devil is used by individuals to seek control, authority and power over others. It is this factor that has given rise to all religion. We once asked Rupert and Joseph if they wanted a book on religion at that point of reference they did not.
Frank… Can you give another example of faith besides The All That Is?
Seth… If one has faith in the idea that they are going to board an airplane and that it will crash individuals turn away for no apparent reason. They know the airplane will crash; they turn away and do not board. When the airplane crashes their explanation is simple, I knew everyone was going to die on that plane. Numerous other examples of this faith question may be seen with individuals who for no apparent reason did not go to work in your World Trade Center on 9/11. Betty, do you have a question?
Betty… I don’t have a question.
Seth… I would like for you to think of a question for next week.
Isabella… Is it faith if there is fear behind the question?
Seth… Possibly. If you are afraid that you are going to die but you have faith in the idea of an afterlife that is faith because you cannot manipulate that.
Isabella… That isn’t my question, let me change it. You know how sometimes you think you just know something, and you might perceive it as either having faith or a psychic feeling and then you say it’s not possible because its fear based?
Seth… That is belief.
Betty… How do you differentiate faith from intuition?
Seth… The answer is simple. Intuition may either be faith or belief system based depending upon what you are dealing with. An example here may be seen in the idea of placing a bet on the outcome of a sporting match. You had the belief or intuition that a specific team would win call it a hunch, whether it happened or did not happen matters not it is a belief system… If you had faith that something would happen that individuals cannot control, then of course it is a faith situation.
Stephanie… When someone attempts to work on difficulties but doesn’t seem to make progress how can I have faith in their progress if they have not made progress at all?
Seth… The question here again is simple, are you dealing with a belief system or a faith system of events? We have stated that all souls cannot fail, that idea is based in faith. The question then arises do I believe that a soul will succeed in any one incarnation? Since the soul is responsible for their actions and they are the one who is in charge, then of course you are dealing with a belief system. When someone seems to make no progress, the question arises what evidence do I have for that concept? In reality you have no evidence. Individuals themselves may tend to repeat the same types of behavior over and over again; the universe will provide them with ample opportunity for failure until these individuals create anew their constant failure is in reality a belief difficulty. These difficulties, whether belief or faith-based, give experience to the individual. Let me be clear on this point. Experience on the physical plane is the simplistic reason why each of you incarnates. All individuals learn from their experiences. When one tries to classify their experiences as either belief-based or faith-based misconceptions arise. One must understand that both systems are necessary for the growth and progress of all souls. It is impossible and one should never attempt to separate the two, one must look for understanding and by doing so the idea of which system you are dealing with becomes clear.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:30 PM)
Let us continue. Do you have another question?
Isabella… How could I have faith that I can be independent of my mother and still have my individuality?
Seth… The answer there must be looked at in terms of your own creativity. It has a direct connection to Kaetorina’s last question about progress. The simple question here, if you have faith that you will succeed than of course failure is part of the numerous difficulties that one must overcome on their way to success. If you believe in this concept, then of course you will have difficulty in creating for yourself that which you seek.
One must understand that when one seeks to gain their own independence one is never successful by doing harsh or mean things towards another. This is factual because the idea of hurting someone else actually draws the two individuals closer together. This occurs due to the fact that one individual is always on offense, and the other is always on defense on any particular subject. If one seeks their own independence one must allow for your creativity as well as the others. When one lives their life like an open book one invites opinions from all those around them. Please note I am not stating that one should be secretive, but all individuals must learn to weigh and measure that which they choose to share with anyone other than themselves.
In any relationship issue it is always necessary for individuals to maintain a sense of privacy. Examples here, is it necessary for a male or a female to disclose all their past sexual relationships with their current husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it necessary for any individual to disclose how they feel about their latest disagreement with their partner or friend to anyone that will listen? This is the idea of gossip and how others will routinely misinterpret your ideas. When one seeks to be independent it is necessary to form a balance scale of ideas and events. Those ideas or events must be weighed and measured. Which ones can I share and with whom? Which ones shall remain hidden and from whom? Independence requires thought and faith in the fact that your decisions must be profitable for you. When an individual is faced with a situation where another is offering opinions that are unwanted, the higher self must come forward. One should listen to the opinion, say thank you and then move along and create that which you find profitable for self. This is faith based in self. A belief system here would find two individuals who are at odds with one another. One individual at some point will be hurt or bothered and then lash out at another. The confrontation here serves no useful purpose since both individuals suffer. One only has to look at relationship issues with adult children when dealing with their parents! Isabella, are you satisfied?
Isabella… I am. My only question is how important is this issue in relationship to my whole existence, this issue with my mother?
Seth… The question should have been how important is this issue to my existence, period. This issue defines you in terms of your relationships with your parents, with your girlfriends, male friends and will certainly define you in your relationship issues with your partner whomever that might be. Many individuals tend to abandon their own creativity as a prelude to keeping a relationship going with someone else. In simplistic terms they give themselves to another, they forfeit that which they are to promote “a good relationship.”
Do you understand? Frank, do you have another question?
Frank… Yeah. So, before an incarnation the soul sets up many of these belief vs. faith issues to promote their growth?
Seth… That idea would take away free will. It would do so since there is no allowance for give or take. What is accomplished before any incarnation simply put are signposts that are placed along the way that either may be ignored or followed depending upon how that individual soul feels. Do you understand?
Frank… The signposts themselves will lead people towards…..
Seth… They are just a guide… I met Cyndi, do I stay with her or do I go my own way? Do I want to be happy or unhappy, faithful or unfaithful… All of these signposts are vague guides that tend to push you along on the road you are on. You may choose to take a detour or not come back… this is free will.
Frank… Anyone’s core issues are going to involve belief vs. faith issues, correct?
Seth… They may not.
Frank… Examples?
Seth… A core issue is what you tend to work on. Not a question of belief vs. faith. The camouflage system you use creates belief vs. faith.
Frank… Example?
Seth… Why do you have to study every detail?
Frank… Isn’t it a core issue?
Seth… Not even close.
Frank… So, did you state before that older souls at a certain point no longer have belief vs. faith issues?
Seth… No, I did not.
Frank… Wouldn’t an older soul at some point have faith that all the information would be available to them?
Seth… Only in the last microseconds before they ended their need for incarnation on the physical plane. It should be noted here that you have numerous lifetimes to go.
Let me leave you with this. Both belief and faith systems when understood and used properly will satisfy your needs and make your wants understandable. A hearty good evening.
Facing Each Day as a Change in Season. Learn to Look Toward Your Inner Self!
Tuesday September 22, 2009
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. A few comments for those of you who have not done their homework or were not here. I asked each of you to find questions on belief versus faith issues. As a prelude to some of this information let me state this. When individuals state “you must have faith” the reference here is clear that a positive outcome has been requested or better yet demanded of other individuals including self as well as the universe. Period. Nothing here could be further from the truth. The idea of having faith only means THAT THERE IS A SOLUTION TO WHATEVER DIFFICULTY YOU ARE FACING. It is obvious that success shall not and will not play a part in the outcome of the result of your faith issue. Stating this twice is necessary for each individual to start incorporating this information into themselves. Next week I shall open and ask again, do you have any faith versus belief questions. I would suggest that you pass this information along to anyone who decides to come.
Under our major subject of Change the idea that seasons change become paramount to our understanding of self. You are now moving into a different season yet in a larger sense, each of you upon awakening must learn to move into a different season. Each day holds promise and despair. How will you face that day? One of the major ideas that you must do is first to look toward your inner self. It is far too easy for most individuals to overlook that which they are, or they are not, and seek solutions from others. This tendency of looking outside self causes most individuals to become sidetracked from their true purpose. The question arises if you do not understand yourself and your motivations for your actions then what can you expect from others? Most individuals find that they are ill equipped and certainly unwilling to face themselves, even with the superficial assistance of therapists or friends. Each of you forgets that you are responsible not only for your own actions but for your perceptions of events that you yourself have created. If you do not look inward, then your ego gives you a distorted vision of the physical plane.
One tends to become trapped by their own repetitive actions that which was successful yesterday, should by most viewpoints be successful today, tomorrow and into the future. Change itself is prevented by this idea since you become mired in the routine that was once successful. Examples of this may be found by even the most casual observer by simply looking at past events. The type of clothing that was worn at the turn of the last century would be considered inappropriate today. Using this idea one can understand the fashion industry. Each season brings with it a change in style, material, color all of which are meant to entice the consumer into buying a new piece of clothing. Obviously, there are numerous examples that one could give when dealing with this type of a situation. Unless one learns to look inward and determine for self that which is proper you become “a slave” to others.
Clear examples of this may be found in the behavior patterns of adolescents. Each of them believes that they are an individual yet in truth they fall back upon baby soul behavior. By this I mean that the herd mentality becomes paramount to these types of individuals. It is unfortunate that this specific type of behavior for many individuals, especially the insecure, the wealthy, the celebrity type is demonstrated over and over again. Examples of this may be seen by the “showing off” of fashion in your award programs.
What most individuals forget is that you are a spiritual creature. You are not a physical plane creature seeking spirituality. You are a spiritual creature seeking physical plane existence. The difference here allows one to change and experience that which you choose to participate with and in for your own benefit. One must take note that the idea of choosing to participate in anything for your own benefit is and must be made manifest by your own creations. If you do not take the responsibility for that which you create then change again is impossible.
Each individual at different points of reference suffers. Each of you have wounds that at times are severe. These wounds limit your ability to not only move forward but they prevent you from understanding what the true nature of the situation is. You become so involved with the hurt that often lasts for decades or even lifetimes that you do not give yourself a chance to heal. Change itself demands that you understand that you are not perfect. It is this simple fact that gives many difficulties. How many individuals do you know that seek the perfect way, the correct answer, the best thought, the highest portion of self? In doing so you assume that perfection is attainable. From our standpoint we would prefer the idea of failure in the attempt to achieve that which is unattainable. You cannot succeed without failure. You cannot fail unless you try. If you do not create you are not trying.
One of the ways that we suggest is the idea of learning to relax. Simple question here, how many individuals routinely set aside some time each day for yourself? The excuses for not doing so are too numerous to mention, such as the most foolish one of I don’t have enough time. If you were a sports coach, you would work your players vigorously and then make sure that you gave them time to relax. The idea of healing and relaxing go hand in hand. You cannot heal; you cannot change unless you relax. How often have you taken a deep breath and given yourself pause to think? Or is it within your nature to struggle through and push forward? Are you the type of individual who works best under pressure? Are you the type of individual who routinely needs a deadline to make manifest that which you need to create? Dis-ease surely follows this type of an individual. These types of individuals suffer mentally. Each action causes pain and discomfort, they do not relax. These types of individuals have a temper which flares at the slightest provocation. They do not like themselves for they see in others whether real or imaginary that which they dislike or better yet hate within themselves.
Question: How many individuals routinely when faced with difficulty sit down relax, and meditate? The idea here of meditation allows you to open yourself to the solution that is already there. There is no problem that does not have an answer. One must understand that the answer may not be of your liking. Many individuals believe that the solution to any difficulty must be positive. As an aside here, this is of course a belief versus faith issue. If one learns to meditate when times are easy that in itself will give you some comfort. It is the practice, and I have stated this previously, that when times are hard meditation becomes impossible unless you have practiced that technique. When times are difficult you need to create time! You create time by closing the outside world, meaning the physical plane to yourself and allowing the meditative process to consume you. There is no one particular way to meditate; any form of meditation is profitable under these circumstances. These types of measures will allow you to re-center yourself so you may function at a higher level. When one is stressed, one tends to become fearful of the unknown. One does not think clearly, one imagines all sorts of difficulties. The key word is imaginary for most individuals imagine the worst and then they proceed to create it.
If you do not allow yourself the luxury of time you will then find that there is little time for success. How many individuals truly enjoy what they do? How many individuals believe that the grass is always greener on the other side of the street and routinely ask why is it raining here but sun shiny there?
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:06 PM?)
Seth… Let us continue. A clear example of not creating for oneself may be seen in the exchange between Isabella and the man through whom I speak. It is obvious even to the most casual observer that Isabella has decided not to create for herself. She would prefer having the responsibility shifted from herself to someone else. We question the idea of this type of behavior. One must take stock in self to understand others. It’s clear that Isabella does not enjoy having someone else become annoyed or bothered with her yet, she takes no action to prevent someone else from disliking and certainly disapproving of her actions. As an interesting side note one must look at her story of her boyfriend’s ex-wife. How fast is she to judge another? There is an old expression, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. These types of individuals would prefer to throw boulders instead of paving the road to make travel easier for self as well as for another. Question here, how would this scenario have played out if Isabella had approached her boyfriend with the following? I understand that you must be very angry and hurt over this situation but let me say this, well I can understand your hurt and anger my question to you is, is it possible that your ex-wife forgot to give you the card or is it possible that she herself is so hurt and bothered that she does not know the correct thing to do? How would events have unfolded then? Therefore, we ask the following, which is more profitable, kindness, compassion or judgment?
Are there any questions?
Frank… Just an aside, were you responsible for my dream fragment or was that me beseeching you to tell me what to do?
Seth… Let me clearly state that if I had done that, I would have betrayed trust and taken away free will. Spiritual ethics, which are much more demanding than anything you could imagine, prevent that type of action.
Frank… So, part of me, my higher self, presupposed or knew that it was time for this information. Correct?
Seth… What does it matter?
Seth… Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this. The change of seasons is upon you, the warmth of summer will soon fade away, days will grow cooler, and the sunlight will shrink. How you handle the change will determine if your needs will be met and your wants lessened. A hearty good evening to all. One last bit of information, remember the questions on faith and belief. I strongly suggest that you remind the others to work on these questions. (Session ended at 9:41 PM)
Introduction to the Concept of Belief Versus Faith
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
8:47 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here again with me this evening. Before we start, I am aware that Kaetorina will have a question. Good luck.
Stephanie… Question or statement?
Seth… Go ahead.
Stephanie… Okay if you want it to be a question, I will phrase it as a question. Can you explain how you stated something to the effect of success in a belief system is never as good as failure in a faith system?
Seth… That isn’t the real question, but we shall move along with that as it is.
I would like to tell you all a little story… You have a problem?
Jasmine… No. (Jasmine said something about it being difficult to take notes with a story.)
Seth… An elderly gentleman is an excellent carpenter and has been working for this firm for at least forty years. There comes a time when he decides that it is necessary for him to retire. His boss, the owner of the firm states to him, would he please be kind enough to stay on and build one more home. He doesn’t really want to, but he agrees to do so. In his endeavors to finish the job he takes many short cuts and does inferior work. He rushes through but he is good at what he does so none of the other workers or his boss notice that he is not performing up to his standards. The day finally arrives that he has completed the home and all his work is done. His boss had decided that he is going to give our carpenter a retirement party and does so. Towards the end of the party the boss comes over and makes a speech and he congratulates him on all his years of effort and work and the boss states clearly what a wonderful worker he has been and as a present to him he hands him the keys to the last house that he has built. The carpenter is overcomed with emotion. He is consumed with his failure to perform adequately. He knows that he will have to redo much of his own shoddy work, yet he has to live with himself knowing how he performed on his last job.
The question here arises; it is quite true that when one has success in a belief system it is often obvious that they would have been better off with failure in a faith idea or system.
We are now going to go ahead, and we are going to ask each of you to give your definition of success. Betty, would you like to go first?
Betty… I’m still thinking, accomplishing a goal.
Seth… Accomplishing a goal. Frank, and then you may pass it around.
Frank… Promoting one’s self in an endeavor or in something they wish to do.
Jasmine… Following the path you have chosen whether it be a positive or negative one.
Seth… I said success Jasmine, not failure.
Jasmine… Well, you can be successful if you chose you were going to come back as a louse and you were a louse that’s successful. You said that numerous times. Have you not?
Seth… Yes, but that is not the essence of the question itself.
Stephanie… I think it is a subjective view of the person where they feel, I think happy, I’ll use the word happy about some kind of an outcome.
Seth… We shall now go around without repeating on the negative aspect of what you said. How do you define failure? Betty?
Betty… The perception of not accomplishing a goal.
Seth… The perception of not accomplishing a goal.
Frank… Making a mistake, not being able to reach what it was you are
trying to reach.
Jasmine… Not accomplishing what you set out to do.
Stephanie… Perceiving something that turned out not to be the way one desired it.
Seth… It is interesting to note here that your ideas of success and failure leave a great deal to be desired. When you are dealing with a belief system, I have clearly stated that it is a closed idea; there is a beginning middle and end.
Jasmine… A closed idea?
Seth… Yes. Since it is a closed idea, success within this framework itself is limited even if it brings you what you consider great joy or happiness. In a belief system one tends to have similar experiences that repeat themselves over and over again. Examples of this may be seen with the idea of a person who enjoys a specific type of food. They will have that same dinner innumerable numbers of times. At first the dinner was magnificent but as points of reference go by that same dinner even if it is made in the same restaurant or home starts to lose something and in reality, that something is enjoyment. So that success that one had in that belief system waned. The lack of enjoyment creeped in and surpasses the success of the original dinner. The same may be said of a baseball fan or any sports fan who enjoys and has/feels success in their team and their players’ efforts. After awhile it is obvious that they no longer take the thrill out of watching their team win, they didn’t win by enough, they were lucky to win and again in a belief system their success fades away.
On the other hand, in a faith system the meal that was not adequate or even downright distasteful, such as part of your fish dinner this evening, Kaetorina, gives one pause for thought. It allows you to have the ability to have faith that even if the restaurant was successful in other aspects, you may change and promote yourself by not ordering that dish again or better yet suggesting that changes be made in the way the dish was prepared. The sports fan in a faith system where their team has not won the pennant for ninety years takes great pride in every win but overlooks most of their losses. It is the failure within a faith system that allows one to make changes in the way in which you approach any given situation. In other words, you are not locked in situations. In other words, you are not locked into a specific line of thought or attitude. You become flexible, which is the second idea of belief and faith. In belief systems there is only room for success, there is one specific point of view. You do not have the ability to look at the world with sets of different eyes. When you read the other book Kaetorina, that I had given you and the man through whom I speak has finished it, that is one of the large issues that you must be aware of. It is the inability within a belief system to be flexible that causes most individuals to become upset when things do not go their way.
In a faith system flexibility is paramount. The idea of failure is a key to progress and change. If something is not of your liking, then you may have the ability to change it. If something does not work, you will have the ability to research and solve a problem. It is the ability to be flexible that will allow you to make progress and make yourself prosper in any given endeavor. It is the idea that failure is not the give all and end all to a specific idea, situation or problem. In a belief system you do not have this ability. In most situations, especially in faith-based ideas one must learn to be decisive by choice. Please note that being decisive by choice does not mean that you are inflexible. One must learn to make a decision and once that decision is made one should follow that idea to its ultimate conclusion. When one constantly wavers and shifts their opinion one cannot make progress. In the above idea it is clear that one is afraid to be wrong! These individuals tend to shift with the blowing winds. They accomplish very little for themselves. Change is difficult for them since they do not have a firm footing in reality. When one is decisive one is then able to look at your own history so that you may give yourself the best choices possible. Is your history one of success or do you have routinely permitted yourself to fail? Do you wallow in what could have been? Do you become angry when others do not live up to your expectations? When one is able to give themselves the best options you have freedom to fail or to succeed. I have often said that the greatest gift a parent can give to a child is the ability to fail. This lecture itself clearly demonstrates why those ideas are mandatory for all parents. What this does is to allow a child as well as yourself to zero in, to focus carefully on your best choices. If you follow the idea, you have become decisive. You are going to make a decision; you are then going to look at your history to look for and to see repeatable patterns that are successful or not successful. You are then going to open yourself up so that you may make prosperous decisions, your best choices in simplistic terms. (The pace was fast, and Seth was asked to repeat.) You are then going to open yourself up or in simplistic terms give yourself the best choices and in doing so you will then be able to focus in on those choices that you deem profitable.
Remember it should be noted that failure along the way does not prevent success at the end. Lastly, in a faith system it is mandatory that one never rests upon past accomplishments. If you do so you are then closing your system from faith to belief and this is a dangerous practice that many individuals partake in due to the fact that they believe that their success will follow them. It is necessary that all individuals learn to keep moving forward. If you have success in one technique do not become involved with the idea that techniques are the answer to your problem. A technique is a guide. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE to push yourself forward and not rely on a past idea. It is necessary that each individual learn to create for themselves. When one uses techniques without imparting your own creation to that technique one is in a belief system. You believe the technique will work.
Jasmine… You want to put your own creation on it?
Seth… Yes. Failure will lead you to create anew. It will give you the ability to keep moving forward. Long range success is based upon having faith in yourself that you can create what you need to achieve your ultimate goals.
Before we take our break a few minor bits of housekeeping: anyone who is not here this evening will not be able to get this lecture, and I mean anyone.
Second, since our friend Frank has volunteered to do the typing, you have three weeks to do the typing.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(9:30 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue. Let me state this: each individual is constantly faced with difficulties and therefore the decision to solve these difficulties must be brought to light. When one only accepts success as profitable, the failure that eventually ensues is catastrophic. The old expression “it is necessary to learn from one’s mistakes” is profitable when you have faith in yourself that you can find a solution to your problems. That solution is the key to change if one is open to the idea that the routines that you have established are not necessarily acceptable at this new point of reference.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Can you just define “belief” and then “faith”?
Seth… Define belief and faith in terms of what?
Stephanie… What is a belief and what is faith?
Seth… A belief simply put is something that you can feel, see, touch, hold onto, manipulate whereas faith is invisible. It has no substance yet, in reality it is the strongest force on the physical plane. Does that give you some help?
Stephanie… Yes.
Jasmine… I don’t see how a belief can be felt and touched? It’s not concrete, it’s not…
Seth… A belief is always something. If you have belief, Jasmine in yourself, you can feel, you can touch, you can motivate yourself. If you have a belief in someone else, it is that person that you have belief in. If you have belief within…
Jasmine… So, it’s a belief in something?
Seth… Always but you have faith in something too. Remember you are very literal.
Frank… What about belief in God versus faith?
Seth… If you truly have belief in The All That There Is…
Frank… Then you have faith.
Seth… That is faith. If you have belief that God will help you what happens if he doesn’t?
Frank… Right, how is that something that you can touch and manipulate though?
Seth… Your belief in God gives you something. He will give me strength. He will give me an ability to do something.
Frank… That’s what you can accomplish.
Seth… That’s what you can accomplish.
Jasmine… The belief in something not the belief in self that can be touched?
Seth… An idea cannot be touched by your definition either, but they are just as factual.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… So, this is connected to why being results oriented is a huge problem.
Seth… That is correct, a results oriented individual requires positive or success in terms of results in terms of the ending of that difficulty.
Jasmine… Requires what?
Stephanie… Positive results or success.
Jasmine… Positive results.
Seth… Do you understand, Frank?
Frank… Ah, I am going to ask a specific question.
Seth… Go ahead.
Frank… Using the example of practicing the psy-time exercise you gave last week…
Seth… Send yourself love all day long.
Frank… I have and I…
Seth… Let’s ask a simple question. Betty, have you sent yourself love every morning all day long?
Betty… No.
Seth… Interesting; no for Jasmine as well. Most times no for Kaetorina.
Frank… Yes, for Jerry and yes for me.
Seth… Not so much for the man through whom I speak either.
Frank… Well, he said he had.
Seth… Well, he had, he has since let it go.
Frank… Okay. I have and up until just today I was going to ask the question how do I know I am getting any results? And then I was typing material, and I saw that technique, that it really it has to do with giving you resolve to deal with whatever things and maybe has done that. I just have not been able to grasp that it actually works for me, like Jerry. Jerry he can feel it at twelve o’clock because he senses it, I cannot.
Seth… Why do you have to feel anything to know that you are sending yourself love every hour on the hour?
Frank… Well, I know I am sending it in the morning but if I don’t feel like I am receiving it?
Seth… How do you know?
Frank… I don’t. So, I feel like I may be doing it, how do I know I am not doing it incorrectly?
Seth… Once you’ve done it, it is automatically correct. You can’t do it incorrectly.
Frank… Because of the definition of the technique itself, it does not matter.
Seth… It does not matter.
Jasmine… I think maybe what you are confusing that you are not recognizing it. In other words, two o’clock comes and you are not saying, “Oh two o’clock right, I’m sending myself love now, I am going to picture myself hugging myself. Two o’clock comes you forget about it, three o’clock.
Frank… I’m not necessarily feeling like a “poof”!
Jasmine… No but I think it’s because you are not remembering.
Seth… That is a belief system you are dealing with, I believe in a technique. You don’t have faith in it.
Frank… Correct.
Seth… That’s the problem.
Frank… That’s why I am asking the question.
Seth… There is no question you have your answer.
Frank… (Laughs, not understandable.)
Seth… That is why you are going to type the session.
Frank… I already knew I was typing this session (Stephanie laughing.) two hours ago.
Seth… No, you volunteered.
Frank… I did not volunteer.
Seth… In fact, the truth of the matter is…
Frank… I was willing to do it.
Seth… I was going to assign it to the man through whom I speak but as long as you volunteered you might as well.
Frank… I mentioned it, that’s not volunteering but that’s…
Stephanie… According to him it is.
Frank… Apparently, it is. What if I had just thought it, and never (Laughing.) said anything?
Seth… You volunteered.
Frank… Okay.
Stephanie… I just want to say if I send in psy-time the love that counts as well? Right.
Frank… Counts as what?
Stephanie… So, I sent it. I sent it for two weeks straight.
Frank… You sent it every day?
Jasmine… Are you feeling reprimanded?
Seth… It’s every morning you do it and you don’t do it every morning as a routine.
Stephanie… Right but let’s just say.
Seth… If I sent it once every… If I say I am going to send myself love every hour on the hour for the rest of my existence on the physical plane.
Stephanie… Well, I didn’t do that.
Seth… That’s what you’re stating and that will not work.
Stephanie… So, the two weeks didn’t work?
Seth… No. It doesn’t work like that.
Stephanie… Well how long will it work for, two days?
Seth… No, you have to do it and reinforce that about yourself. It is the doing it that reinforces it. Good try.
Frank… Since I am typing this, I can talk a lot. (Laughs.) The further quandary that I was in or not in is that with the idea of “How would a prosperous man act?” has been very successful.
Seth… Because you constantly reinforced the universe to say this man believes that he is prosperous therefore prosperity will be there for him. In whatever that means whether it be a monetary prosperity whether it be happiness prosperity whether it be in feeling good about one’s self prosperity. You don’t question that yet the love that you send yourself every morning is connectable to that which you have sent out.
Frank… Well, that was my point, I wasn’t sure if it was a combination.
Seth… Do not look to walk into trees here, just move along. No buts.
Frank… Okay, related, actually similar question, I have a patient who actually I discussed with Jerry who has a love problem, not being loved as a child but she is very spiritual. And she…
Seth… Why do you say that that individual…
Frank… Has a love problem?
Seth… No is spiritual?
Frank… She states that she has a belief in Buddhism.
Seth… Doesn’t make you spiritual.
Frank… She chants, she has an interest in some of those concepts so that is all I mean. She has an interest in that. So, she has practiced “How would a prosperous woman act?” This is a woman with a lot of problems. Now on the outside she has been able to not act out which is a big, big step for her but underneath and some of her being able to do this has reinforced her own disappointment and feeling broken in a sense. So, my understanding of that is my work with her, well she should continue that and I’ll have to reinforce or work on these belief systems underneath to help her change what she feels towards self.
Seth… And your question is? So far you have made no question.
Frank… If she were to continue to just say (Asking the universe.) “How would a prosperous woman act?” Would it possibly trickle down to those belief structures, change?
Seth… Of course. The more you are prosperous here on the outside the more you will reflect towards yourself and inner being.
Frank… Is it…
Seth… Aren’t you glad you are not typing? (Stephanie laughs.)
Frank… I wouldn’t be doing this.
Seth… Maybe we should eliminate the computing machine.
Frank… Is that an absolute?
Seth… Nothing is absolute.
Frank… I mean there are some things that would change. She would not just necessarily change?
Seth… Why not.?
Frank… It seems so easy.
Seth… A prosperous individual is always open to change. A prosperous individual looks to make things different.
Stephanie… ` What’s the difference with the (Unclear) and sending yourself love and whatever and “How would a prosperous woman act?” What is…
Seth… Sending yourself love is the strongest bit of enjoyment that one can have depending upon how you as an individual define the idea or word “love”.
Stephanie… So “How would a prosperous woman act?” won’t help you to feel love in the way that sending would?
Seth… It may not.
Stephanie… But that’s prosperous.
Seth… It will trickle down to that aspect. It usually does but when you send yourself love and you learn to love self then you are prosperous, and you make your own prosperity greater.
Stephanie… It reinforces the idea.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Could you comment on the idea of expectations and how expectations play a role in the belief and faith?
Seth… Expectations are usually a negative aspect of one’s existence. It is in reality saying I expect this to happen. What you are really stating is I want this to occur.
Stephanie… Right, so that is a belief.
Seth… That is a belief system and wanting leaves you with nothing.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… When you expect something and it occurs you are very happy. When you expect something and it does not occur then you have nowhere to go because that is within a belief system. I expect it or believe this would occur.
Stephanie… Where would you place your dreams… where would you place dreams? You know the idea of one should never not have…
Seth… Where you should place your dreams?
Stephanie… dreams and that’s a piece of expectation a little bit.
Frank… No.
Seth… Your dreams that you have every single time that you are asleep?
Stephanie… No not that.
Seth… Your dreams of, oh I would dream to win the lottery. That is an expectation.
Stephanie… Okay, but when you said never give up your dreams.
Seth… Never give up meaning never going to give up trying to become and achieve what I would like to achieve, those are your dreams.
Jasmine… Never give up your faith.
Seth… Or never give up your faith. I am trying to use different words here, Jasmine.
Jasmine… But expectations are so opposite to dreams. It’s not the same thing.
Seth… That’s right expectations, Jasmine are opposite to dreams.
Jasmine… You set yourself up for disappointment with expectations.
Seth… That is correct; you are disappointed when your expectations do not come through.
Frank… Then that is the idea of (Not audible.)
Seth… Correct that is the idea of being in play.
Yes, Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Right so the idea of never give up on your dreams, the idea of that prosperity…
Seth… Remember don’t rest on your past expectation. My dream is to become better. My dream is to accomplish more. My dream is…
Stephanie… More abstract and open in that kind of a direction.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… No one has a dream that you could solve in one day necessarily. It wouldn’t be much of a dream. Like if you are expecting it, you know…
Stephanie… No, but you know people whose idea, “Oh, how would I see my future,” what they would see in their mind’s eye.
Frank… But you could approach those dreams in a more flexible manner.
Stephanie… Right, it is still somewhat an attainment of some kind of a… fixed idea.
Frank… And that’s why sometimes they get into trouble. Like for example say, “Oh my dream is, I want to publish a self-help book.” Then you do it, okay now I am done with my goal. Oh-oh, now what?
Stephanie… Well, you take one of, one aspect of. (Meaning there are other dreams.)
Frank… Correct.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Okay so when you said that, when you deal with the idea of belief and faith, how does this work if this is not your play?
Seth… If you have faith that someone else can accomplish something and they don’t you may assist them into a better mood, a better goal. You can help them change. If you have a belief in that person and they succeed you are of course satisfied. But if you have a belief in somebody and they fail, example here a Mr. Madoff. People had a belief that he could keep on delivering what he promised and when he could not everything fell apart for these people. They became angry, they lost what they had, some people became destitute, this was based upon a belief system that this man was infallible and that he could continue to do what he was doing.
Stephanie… Right, so that was him and the idea that he had to be successful.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… That’s what we are talking about. One only accepts success, that’s him. But for example, let’s use Peter and his issues right now with the tics. So, his play, that’s his play and I can’t control it but your saying I can assist in terms of the faith and the belief… I can assist but the idea of the faith would be he may have it for the rest of the year, this way.
Seth… Or not.
Stephanie… And I just would deal with however I am going to deal with it?
Seth… Correct. It doesn’t mean you have to like it. It does not mean you have to accept it. It may mean that you may have to chastise him. It may mean you have to pat him on the back and say I understand that you’re being stressful. All these things are factual.
Stephanie… So instead of rejecting it and bringing myself misery in a sense because it’s…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… bothersome. You know if I feel like I would be limiting play dates or something if it was out of control.
Seth… Or you may want to limit them because he may become embarrassed. You have no idea of which way to go; you have to be open; you have to have faith that you will find a correct solution to his problem.
Stephanie… Like trying different things.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… You know, like the idea he takes Bill’s opinion harder than mine so he incorporates…
Seth… Bill is the male.
Stephanie… Right, so if he instructs him, he may take it a little more seriously than (from) me.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… So in terms of work with patients who are very negative, who are troubled, the idea of helping them with their faith in self is paramount?
Seth… Nothing is paramount.
Frank… It’s important.
Seth… It is important.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: success is always pleasurable in whatever system you are dealing with yet failure when placed in a faith system will allow you to fulfill your needs. Your wants will be lessened, and your ultimate success will be guaranteed. A hardy good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, it is always a pleasure to have you here with me. A small bit of housekeeping before we go on. Deborah, do you have four questions previously written down? (This session is being placed as per Seth’s instructions with the material on Change. Dictated in 2014 it has been six years since the last session on Change. Seth had been talking about Growth and Development specifically on Soul Ages at the time of this session. One student had a particularly hard time with asking questions and Seth would not continue with that material until she formulated at least four questions. It is now six years later in December of 2020 as I begin to edit it, and it may be another six years or more before it sees the light of day as published material. That would be 2026! Talk about time being simultaneous! F.N. Actually, published May of 25 on The New Seth.com on WordPress https://thenewsethsessions.com/ )
Seth… Deborah, what I would strongly recommend is that you have a number of individuals here that you can consult with over the next few days to help you come up with questions that we will deal with in our next session. After those questions are dealt with, we shall move along. One of the things I am trying to teach you that will stand you in good stead for your profession and for your incarnation is how to formulate and ask proper questions. You have a great tendency to believe that if you listen you will understand completely. You are also afraid to ask questions out of fear of looking foolish. You cannot succeed without making an error somewhere. The more resistant you are to the idea of I cannot make an error the more errors you will make. Use the resources of the others around this table to help you look at questions that will be appropriate for this level of baby souls. The information that I give will pale in comparison to the necessity for you to ask a question.
Deborah… Thank you.
Seth… Since we need Deborah’s questions to complete this concept, we will then have a question-and-answer session on anything except baby souls. Therefore, do we have a question?
Frank… I am concerned about aging and my health and having to possibly take a pill for cholesterol and I would like some assistance with the idea of a program or something so that I can take care of myself as I get older.
Seth… You have two choices. One, don’t get older! (Group laughter and banter.) The second choice and the answer that was given to you earlier by the man through whom I speak was correct. He told you that you should see a nutritionist, which to be truthful was my idea. (Stephanie laughed.) The problem that you are truly having is a fear of getting old. You have been for numerous years classified as a weekend warrior. With this thought in mind your fear of aging hurts you due to the fact that you refuse to accept the concept that you are not twenty-five. Are there any other questions?
Spencer… I have a question. As we refer to time you always refer to it as a point of reference. Is it better to think of time as a place or a point in space?
Seth… First let me explain a concept that our friend Frank has had and is still having.
Frank… Time troubles.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… There is no such thing or concept that is valid that explains time. You reside, so do I for that matter, in what one must call the ever expanding now. Everything that has happened, that is happening and that will happen always is happening concurrently. When one looks at time on the physical plane you can imagine a ruler, one, two, and three, four out to infinity. That is not factual. If one were to look at your own existence from the time you were created from The All That Is to this specific point of reference it would be a spindle vertically. When you would then choose to look at anything you would pull a leaf from that spindle at a specific point of reference. By doing so you then study or examine that concept at that specific point of reference. You would then place the leaf back into where you took it from and move to a different point of reference.
With that thought in mind you exist now in the twenty first century with the knowledge of the twenty first century. If you were studying a point of reference in the fourteenth century the knowledge you have at this point of reference would be useless to you in the fourteenth century. Therefore, you would have to look at a point of reference that gave you knowledge of the fourteenth century. When one would then end any incarnation, you move to a higher plane where linear time does not exist. Knowledge exists and your ability to grow is determined by your own choosing. Each point of reference within a higher realm is never measured by time, it is calculated by knowledge. We again fall back on to the idea of The Ever Expanding Now. The more knowledge you gain and have the now expands not only for you but for all or everyone. I would strongly recommend that you read and re-read this paragraph a few times to get a better understanding that the idea of a point of reference denotes a minute point of studying something.
Are there any other questions?
Spencer… When my consciousness within this life expands or grows for lack of a better term…
Seth… One can only hope.
Spencer… does the consciousness of all of my lives expand as well?
Seth… Knowledge and experience are the only reasons that you exist on the physical plane. You could not exist at a mature soul level until you experienced a young soul level. Therefore, the knowledge you gained from previous soul ages allows growth and development on higher levels that you use to formulate incarnations on whatever step you are at any particular point of reference. Do you understand?
Spencer… Yes, I just don’t understand the word previous since time is not linear.
Seth… Again, you are thinking in a linear fashion. Think of spindle, old soul, mature soul, young soul, baby soul, infant soul, created. (Seth motioned with Jerry’s hands to indicate places on the spindle.) There is no time, it’s just where you study. Let me give you another example, I’ll confuse you further. I want you to think of a pencil standing upright on a mirror. Four walls surrounding the pencil are also mirrored, the ceiling is also mirrored. Every reflection of that pencil is infinite. One can then pick out any specific reflection at any angle that you would choose and determine what knowledge that reflection has. Your knowledge is always translated into growth and development yet the pencil itself is the true soul and not the reflection. The knowledge that you receive is always translated and given back to the soul. I strongly recommend you read this again and again.
Spencer… The reflection is also only from that point of reference. So, another point of reference is another reflection even though you are looking at the same soul you only seeing a reflection…
Seth… What angle, what angle, what angle, what angle, what angle, what angle, what angle, what angle.
Spencer… a fraction of it.
Seth… Right.
Spencer… Yeah.
Seth… You don’t have to write that.
Stephanie… No.
Frank… What angle, what angle, what angle… (Group laughter.)
Seth… I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:57 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue. I have a question. Deborah, do you know what you are going to do for next week? (Group laughter.)
Deborah… Yes, I will pull my hair out.
Seth… It would be nice to see a bald person here. (Debbie laughs. There was then conversation and kidding back and forth around Deborah’s challenge in formulation and asking questions.)
Seth… There are others that you can call and ask, just remember that.
Deborah… Okay.
Stephanie… One question I have is, is there any relationship to the approaching young soul population and the changes in weather? (Seth has stated to us that we have recently as world population shifted from Baby Soul Age to Young Soul Age.) And can you comment on what seems to be a tremendous increase in terrorism of all kinds and how are we supposed to think about and deal with all that is around us and clearly getting… Are you sleeping on my question?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… Why? It’s serious.
Seth… Read it again, I’ll contemplate it this time.
Stephanie… (Laughing.) Wow he’s in a mood. (Stephanie was directed to ask the question again.)
One question I have is, is there any relationship to the approaching young soul population and the changes in weather?
Seth… No!
Stephanie… Really?
Seth… No.
Stephanie… Oh, okay and can you comment on what seems to be a tremendous increase in terrorism of all kinds and how are we supposed to think about and deal with all that is around us and clearly getting worse and worse.
Seth… Nothing to do with the weather, no. Second, as the population moves from baby soul to young soul there will be a natural increase in violence. This increase in violence will tend to increase over the next millennium or so. Remember the idea of young souls is to explore the physical plane, and all it truly has to offer. With that thought in mind there will obviously be numerous kind and gentle people, as an example, Mother Theresa. The opposite side of that will of course be individuals like Hitler.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… Haven’t you said in the past that human emotion affects the weather?
Seth… But not in this instance.
Frank… How can our violent emotions not affect the weather?
Seth… Weather is a mass consciousness effect and therefore if you are taking something out of the physical plane you want the weather to be as good as possible so the more you have the more you can get. You don’t want an earthquake or a hurricane, they would prefer good weather.
Stephanie… Ha, that’s like when there is low crime when the weather is bad.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Oh, hmm, interesting.
Frank… Could you explain in Seth terms what this idea of creating in the vortex means?
Seth… Define your reference point, vortex.
Frank… From the teacher Abraham having to do with meditation, having to be in a good place (mentally and emotionally.)
Seth… Simply put, the more comfortable one is, the more content you are the better you are able to create. Remember you are what you create. If you are under stress, your creations become weaker. If you are constantly worried about things your abilities lessen due to the fact that you can’t put in enough energy into that which you require.
Deborah… Oh.
Seth… Yes, you are there.
Deborah… How do I get out of that? (Laughs.)
Now to our friend Frank since you asked me to answer as Seth, I have a little question, who would I answer to if I wasn’t Seth? (Group laughter.)
Deborah… How would I get out of the negative state?
Seth… My first question to you is why do you enjoy it? My second question to you is if one assumes one would like to believe you don’t enjoy it then you must be staying there for reasons that you don’t even know yourself. If I was a therapist, I would ask you why are you punishing yourself and your answer is because I am afraid. The concept here is to remove yourself from a place of dis-ease is to adapt the idea that I can. I can be better. I can meditate. I can promote myself by doing things for myself without worrying about the consequences of my actions due to the idea that my actions will promote me into a positive state. Do you understand?
Deborah… Yes. I wanted to ask you about closing the channels when we talk about individuals with schizophrenia and meditation, mindfulness meditation or something else?
Seth… The best reference that I can give you is to speak to our friend Frank who did this with his previous employment.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… I can’t formulate mine into reasonable questions.
Seth… Want to make an unreasonable questions?
Frank… I feel like I have made some steps in terms of the idea of understanding why I have difficulties with over-controlling and the troubles I have with meditation and just allowing. I still would like a hand in taking it further.
Seth… One of the great problems that you have is the concept here of techniques. You become so caught up with the idea of a technique that you lose the concept of why the technique is there. The object here with meditation, which of course leads to growth and development is the simplest idea of learning to relax. You as an individual become so worried that you are not doing the technique correctly that you do not get the benefit of the technique at all. You then immediately start looking for another technique. A simple suggestion: enjoy what you are doing and forget about the technique.
Are there any other questions?
Spencer… Is the illusion of time appearing to be sped up now because consciousness is growing at a faster rate?
Seth… The answer is no. Let me give you a few illustrations. If you have ever ridden in a car and are going to someplace from your home, it always seems that it takes a long time to get there yet when you return it is very quick. This again proves the idea that time does not exist. When you were much younger as a child it was forever to go from one holiday to the next. As you matured you had a very quick span to go from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas and the time span was shortened. It should be obvious that there are always the same number of days with the same amount of hours within each day. Therefore, it’s only an illusion that time changes, which again is not quite factual since time itself is manipulated by the speed in which you travelled. As you would approach the speed of light from a fixed reference point one ages very quickly yet if you were in the moving ship time would be very, very slow. A simple example, if you were to travel from here to the nearest star and come back it would take you at the speed of light about 8 years, but you would not age 8 years. Yet here at a fixed point you would age quite a bit more.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Is it true that if one fears aging and what their belief is about it then one is destined to create that no matter what?
Seth… Let me ask you a question, do you believe that you are what you create?
Stephanie… Yes, I do.
Seth… Now if you will re-read your question then you will see that you will have already answered it by your statement.
Stephanie… Most individuals fear aging for various reasons and is this why many or most have actual physical manifestations of these fears?
Seth… The question itself is far too complex for me to give you a fully detailed answer. A great deal of that has to do with mass consciousness beliefs. Then if you mix in to that the individual belief systems you can gather that there is no simple way one can make an answer that fits the whole. It would be a series of lectures on aging that would satisfy your question.
A great deal of tonight’s lecture truly has to do with change, and I would suggest to you Frank, that you edit out the unnecessary parts of Deborah and then put in that which you believe could be a good session towards the end of change (lectures).
Stephanie… All of this leads back to the idea of belief systems and changing one’s belief systems correct?
Seth… Correct
Stephanie… So how would one considering the mass consciousness ideas behind this topic begin to even challenge these beliefs?
Seth… One of the simplest ways to do this is a simple idea of learning. One must learn to be happy and content with what they have and what they are and not always be content and happy with what they think they should have or want. It is your needs that determine that which you possess, therefore make sure that you are prosperous with what you have so that your prosperity stems from within and not from without. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes, and if one is more able to do this then one may age differently than what the common belief systems show?
Seth… The mass consciousness effects are far too pervasive. That does not mean that you will not be content. It means you should be content. It also means that a wig would be very helpful for you. (Group Laughter.)
Stephanie… Are you saying that when one’s aging body starts to let’s say collapse that if one is content internally this doesn’t have to matter in terms of feeling or being content? Do you know what I mean?
Seth… I know what you mean, you don’t know what you mean. Let me give you an example here. As you age your physical body will automatically deteriorate.
Frank… That’s so cheery!
Stephanie… It’s true.
Seth… That which you could do at forty you cannot do at ninety. However, this does not mean that you will not be content or in simpler terms be happy. It only means that you cannot do certain things that you previously did. It is your ability to adapt or to change your perceptions that allow you to be content with that which you are. Do you understand?
Stephanie… So, the idea of surrendering to what is for the most part, as you say the acceptance will help with the feelings of being content. It’s hard for the population to do this given the stigma of aging.
Seth… The stigma of aging is more noticeable in Western civilizations than in Eastern ones. The elders were always revered and cherished. In Western societies the elderly, due to their inability to be strong and forceful in terms of physical prowess, have been demoted in stature. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes.
Let me leave you with this: Change is always necessary, it promotes you. It gives you the ability to gain knowledge and experience. I have previously said that when individuals, societies do not have the ability to change, they fail. They fail because their wants multiply, and their needs are lessened. By their needs being lessened I mean that they cannot be totally fulfilled and unhappiness increases. Simply put, there is a lack of prosperity. A very pleasant evening to all.
The Roads to Misery and Taking Responsibility for Your Own Stress
Tuesday July 14, 2009
8:36 PM
Seth… Good evening, it is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We of course shall continue on our subject of Change.
One of the great difficulties that individuals have when dealing with stress and adverse conditions that seem to constantly repeat themselves is the idea that they have at best felt that they are crazy. This occurs because of the fact that most individuals tend to camouflage themselves and hide themselves from the reality that they are making. While this idea seems simple itself, the concept is obvious that one may never run away from their own creations. Since you are responsible for yourself one must learn to take responsibility for their own actions. Most individuals would prefer to cast the blame on others. They tend to forget that in any relationship issue that they are responsible for fifty percent of what comes to pass. It is a difficult concept to accept the fact that you yourself are driving yourself into areas that you fear. When events tend to repeat themselves, most individuals become concerned with their own sanity.
They cry, why is this always happening to me? The difficulty here lies in the fact that it is far too easy to find fault with actions of another. When one tends to victimize another, their specific actions are often called into question. Even the slightest imperfection is noted and looked at with disparaging eyes. These individuals worry that they themselves are losing a grip on reality. They indeed fear that they cannot look at themselves due to the fact that they instinctively know that they are not perfect. This situation causes great stress to be placed upon their own belief system. They fear losing control over their own environment. Most individuals will grasp at anything that they can in order to relieve themselves of the burdens that they believe others have placed upon them. Instinctively they believe that the others are responsible for their misery, and they routinely seek to point out other’s faults. The fear of looking at oneself is so pervasive that most individuals routinely hide from this thought.
Most parents today use the idea of a “time out” when dealing with young children. This break from their routine allows a child to compose themselves from the difficulties that they were experiencing. It also allows the parent to have a time out as well so that the parent may compose themselves. This break in a routine allows individuals to slow down and gives them the ability to recreate that which they need. Instead of driving oneself “crazy” one must break the pattern by giving pause to any difficulty that is occurring.
At that point of reference, one must do something different. The difference is in routine so that the same errors in judgment will not be made again. The person for example who is worried about their weight and routinely goes to the candy merchant or the ice cream vendor on their way home from a difficult day at work must do something different. One may take a different route or choose a different time to accomplish their task of returning home. It should be noted here that addictive behavior such as drinking occurs by routine. One will allow themselves a drink or two on the way home or a drink before dinner. This addictive behavior becomes so routine that when our individual is challenged by someone else, they become angry for they cannot see or better yet will not see that their addictive behavior is of their own making. It is the change that allows individuals to break the pattern of dis-ease that will allow healing to occur.
It should be noted that these individuals are in pain. Unfortunately, this pain increases with “time.” Pain that these individuals have is real. They hurt inside and out. Many become so uncomfortable that they cannot and will not function properly. These individuals become so self-absorbed in their day-to-day difficulties that they literally become victims of the situation. Individuals in this position make excuses for their behavior. The husband who beats his wife is in so much pain that he claims that she made me do it. The smoker who knows that they have a bad cough claims that they smoke because they either like it or that they use it to control their weight. One must learn to discard that which bothers them. When one tends to keep difficulties with you your viewpoint of any situation causes you to view your life practices in a manner that destroys your own chances for success.
One may look at the idea of the woman who has lost her husband and is still mourning that loss years after the husband has died. This woman never realizes that the husband ended his incarnation for his own reasons. These reasons of course may be positive or negative, yet she still mourns his passing. The question that one must ask is what profit do you have with these types of actions? The stress that you place yourself in becomes so invasive that it affects your day to day existence. My question here is what difference in attitude do you have? Do you believe that your husband or wife would have wanted you to act in this manner? Each individual must learn to do something different if they are going to be successful in whatever they choose.
Most individuals wake up in the morning, some happy and glad to be alive, others sleepy and hate the idea of movement, many others detest the idea that another day has dawned. After you first awake in the morning one should plan for a different type of a day. The first thing that one should do is to send love to yourself through the use of psychological time. By doing so you are going to give yourself a boost not only of energy but a feeling of success. This feeling of success will enable you to view difficult situations in a manner heretofore unavailable to you.
Frank… May I ask a question?
Seth… Certainly.
Frank… Just as a review and also to teach, how would we describe psychological time to others?
Seth… You already know the answer and that is very simple here. Think about success at nine o’clock, ten o’clock, eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock, two o’clock, and three o’clock. By doing this you will give yourself a gentle reminder that no matter what the problem is there will always be some sort of a positive outcome to any situation. When one does not employ the idea of success one tends to wallow in the situation you create negativity. You will look for any reason to justify your actions. The idea that one may sit and wallow in doing anything must become the idea of the past. Each day is a gift no matter what difficulties you face, what hardships you must overcome the idea of doing nothing or a bemoaning your fate must end. These ideas by the enlightened individual are cast aside so that solutions to whatever problems you are having may finally be put to rest.
The sad factor is that most individuals are not practical. They wish, they hope, and they pray all of which accomplish nothing. The natural person is practical; they seek to fit in with the environment. They see and feel the order and the beauty of the physical plane. They choose to embrace a challenge; they do not bemoan their fate. They enjoy the simple pleasures that they have. One of the ideas that individuals must look at is a test. How often do you truly test your skills, how often do you challenge yourself to become better? Do you rely on others for answers that you already know, or do you push yourself to your own limits and then rejoice when you find out that you could do more. Test your skills, challenge yourself. This is doing something different; this relieves stress, and you will walk away from the road to misery and never have a thought of turning back.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(9:22 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: If this material has its desired effect, one should have any number of questions that occur to you. I would ask that each of you not only those around the table but anyone who reads the material to sit down quietly give yourself a “time out” and then start asking questions so that you may research if you will that which you require. For those around the table I will ask are there any questions?
Arthur… I think I don’t know how one grieves successfully must go. I’ve done different things, I’ve expressed feelings, I’ve taken on new ventures and yet I think that it’s true that I haven’t grieved and let go.
Seth… The idea of mourning is a period that best is described as reflection. You reflect upon the person who has ended their incarnation. You reflect upon your relationship with that individual and you reflect upon your own existence without that individual. When one excessively mourns, one is stating to themselves that my “life” is worthless without that individual. The question arises; how can I keep going with this massive loss? It is unfortunate but the question that one must ask themselves after a while is simple, would my partner desire me to live my life in a state of sadness? Now the answer to this is obvious, however for the individual who suffers the idea of mourning is a way of saying I love you and am so devoted to you that I will never let you go. In reality they fear that if they let go, they can no longer enjoy the memory of the individual who has ended their incarnation. They feel that they are becoming disloyal to that individual and somehow, they believe that that individual will not look kindly upon them. When an individual ends their incarnation their viewpoint of the physical plane changes drastically. For those that they leave behind they clearly see and understand the difficulties that they have. Their greatest wish if you will is that these individuals will overcome the loss that they feel and be able to move along and profit from their existence with the individual who has died and by using these feelings properly will be able to grow and to gain experience with others in a loving relationship. Does that help?
Arthur… It gives me plenty to think about.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… The exercise in psychological time how does one tell if one is ready to do this?
Seth… Simply put, there is no individual who is incapable of doing this. All one has to do is to use the idea of sending themselves love throughout the day. Period.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… I wanted to ask about the stress. What is it about those people who have no difficulties with stress, what are they doing right?
Seth… Stress itself is what one does to themselves. The individual who handles stress well looks at whatever challenge is presented as a positive force. When one looks at that challenge in a negative manner and then holds on to that idea one is then affected by that negative line of study. Does that help you?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… The addicted person who requires change how do they go about taking the first step when the behavior itself presents a wall to steps towards change?
Seth… The addictive person in reality has a far easier time with this than the non-addictive personality. A person who is addictive enjoys doing things in the same way, their behavior constantly reinforces this idea. Examples here may be seen with the person who is addicted to smoking. Once they have decided to change, they quickly incorporate all the negative ideas about smoking into their being. They will quote every study; they look at others who smoke and try to become their champion so that these individuals will also stop smoking. The individual who looks at others in a negative manner and consistently finds fault with them will find that change is easy once they change their focus from the negative aspects of the other’s personality to their positive attributes. The addictive personality is predictable and quite literal in the way they see and react to the stimuli of the physical plane. Therefore, they will incorporate change quickly once they decide that it is to their benefit to do so.
Are their any other questions?
Stephanie… What helps this individual to decide to change?
Seth… The question here is profitability. When the addictive personality finds that their old route to work is not in their best interests, they quickly adopt a different pattern. The same is true with any change that they choose to make. The addictive personality when weight loss becomes desirable quickly loses that which they desire. The individual who finds fault with their friends or neighbors quickly will see their positive side when they become aware that these friends or neighbors have assisted them in whatever difficulty that there was.
Does that answer your question?
(Frank reminded Stephanie about a training they had attended called Motivational Interviewing which was a counseling method involving working with addiction. One of the ideas being that an addicted individual’s degree of ambivalence and motivation fluctuated along different stages of readiness, including a time when change is strongly desired. The counselor would intervene accordingly.)
Stephanie… Why do you keep alluding to the idea that the addictive personality is in a better position to change quicker as opposed to more entrenched? Aren’t they addicted then to the negative in general and enjoy it thoroughly, especially if this is a way of life. It seems there would have to be more of an epiphany rather than what you allude to as a simple choice.
Seth… First the idea that the addictive personality has an easier time of it was not stated by us. The idea is quite simple, for whatever reason the addicted personality will eventually come to the conclusion that their behavior is no longer suitable once this occurs then change is easy. Of course, they are entrenched in their previous behaviors just as they become entrenched in their new behaviors. The question here is which behavior is more profitable?
To avoid backsliding formulate and follow an action plan!
Seth 409
Backsliding onto The Road to Misery and Formulating an Action Plan
Tuesday June 30, 2009
8:40 PM
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. Just a little bit of housekeeping. Shirley Sarah it’s nice to see you again from Florida and Kaetorina inform once again the man through whom I speak that unless he makes a conscious effort to do the reading, he will have a strict time limit placed on him.
Kaetorina, I believe that you have a very important question to ask and let us see if you can escape the horror of not following directions.
Stephanie… How does the idea of backsliding affect the way in which one deals with stress?
Seth… Now… Under our major subject of change we have been driving steadily down the road to misery. We have been under stress, and we are now approaching a side road that is labeled backsliding. It is human nature to undertake an endeavor whether that endeavor is profitable or not makes no difference. Human behavior quite simply put is based upon a series of repeatable actions due to stimuli that are created by the unique individual himself. This being stated one forms habitual patterns of behavior. Examples may be seen in the individual who takes the same route to work every day. The person who dresses in a particular manner or style if you will has the same predictable behavior pattern. When individuals seek to make a change, they embark upon a series of measures that will cause them to view the physical plane in a different manner. Examples here are the individual who has decided to stop smoking. They have made a conscious effort to change their patterns of behavior. In doing so they have formulated new patterns that they choose to put into place to prevent their smoking behavior. Now when these individuals have moved from one line of study to another their points of reference have also changed. The difficulty here is that they carry with them the seeds of self-destructive behavior.
These seeds of self-destructive behavior may be classified now as backsliding. The individual will delude themselves into believing that they may have one cigarette without it doing any harm. For most this now leads them off their path of change back down the road to misery since they are unable and quickly become unwilling to reinstate their new behavior patterns. It is obvious that for most the idea of backsliding is not a conscious thought, yet I question the individual who states “do you know how many times I have stopped smoking, lost weight, decided to study harder” or anything else that you may think of. Backsliding itself is pervasive. It causes individuals to lose faith in themselves.
These individuals quickly become victims of their own behavior patterns that are indeed detrimental to their physical being. When one constantly “second guesses themselves” you become ineffective in creating situations that you require for proper advancement on the physical plane. One of the great difficulties that victimization of self causes becomes the literal hatred of self. Individuals who constantly find fault with themselves develop a loathing, not only of themselves but a loathing of all those around them. They seek to cause other individuals to take responsibility for their own failings. It should be noted here that this common type of behavior may be seen in all soul ages up and through the first two steps of old soul age. At that point of reference, the development of a higher sense of view and purpose precludes these souls from acting in this manner.
One of the primary objectives to prevent backsliding is the idea that one must prioritize their actions. Each individual soul follows their own path yet for many this path is fraught with danger of their own making. When one tends to view the physical plane out of fear, patterns emerge that place individual souls on a path where they cannot stand. When one does not deal in fact but only in supposition one then has no basis to view the future with any idea that is factual or may lead the individual soul to a successful conclusion of their question! The pattern here is constantly repeated due to the narrow viewpoint that our individual has towards the physical plane. These individuals become so frightened that they indeed create that which they fear. They constantly state, “I knew this would happen.” The answer is simple if you knew this would happen, why did you embark upon the road to self-destruction? One must develop for themselves a plan of action. Without this plan you indeed have no proper route to follow.
If one is in school and you have a large examination that is looming ahead of you that covers a great deal of information one must then prioritize that which YOU DO NOT KNOW! The most common course of action that most individuals take is to study that which they are most familiar with. They do this due to the fact that they feel safe and comfortable with their previous actions.
Isabella… What if the previous actions are destructive or negative?
Seth… You are confusing the idea of something that is negative or not profitable with the idea that it is harmful. Many things are familiar but not profitable. Examples here may be seen in individuals who worry about the future. Other individuals will constantly criticize themselves over events that they have no control over. Others will eat to excess, still others may become angry and lash out yet; all these actions are familiar patterns of behavior. These patterns of behavior are the backsliding mechanism that individuals use to defeat themselves and push themselves off center so that they lose not only their sense of direction, but they are unable to gain their point of power. If one prioritizes their course of study, you will be able to develop a series of plans that will enable you to chart a course slowly but steadily through unchartered waters. When you then stick to your plan of action you are then able to slowly move from one challenge to another without losing your way. Yes Isabella?
Isabella… The prioritizing the study of that which you do not know is that the opposite of the information that you know already?
Seth… That which you do not know is the change that you are attempting to make. The individual who has decided to stop smoking has no knowledge of what lies ahead in terms of their feelings toward their desire to inhale smoke. The desire to smoke, the physical need to smoke are all part of the unknown. The emotions that connect any line of study to change are difficult to break. It is only when you break these routine habits that change becomes profitable and effective. One of the first ideas that one has is the idea of learning to love self.
The idea here is that one must never become old enough not to fall in love again. When an individual becomes stagnant, they have lost the ability to love themselves. It therefore follows that if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love others. Every day one must make a concerted effort to fall in love again whether it be with a flower, another individual, a long-lost friend. The concept of falling in love is the ingredient that one needs to prevent backsliding so that your plan of action may succeed. It is a difficult concept to understand since the physical plane is indeed a linear type of existence. Most individuals set a goal for themselves, and they believe that they are only content, satisfied if you will when they attain their goal.
Unfortunately, this is not factual. The journey up the hill is far more important than the summit. How you arrive at your destination, what successes you have had, what failures you suffered through are indeed the stimulus that all individuals require to make their journey happy. Success itself is no guarantee of happiness. An example here: How many individuals have won Lotto or have come into a great deal of wealth but are still miserable? The individual who believes that they are ugly and has one surgical procedure after another will always see themselves as ugly due to the fact that their ego is so limited that they do not have the ability to expand and therefore their growth is quite limited. The limitations that one places upon themselves are the belief systems that you operate with, often these are camouflage due to the fact that you have not discovered the true meaning of your beliefs. I will have the man through whom I speak move the tape over.
One of the solutions to this type of difficulty may be seen in the simple idea of saying I love you every day first to self and then to others. One should never miss the opportunity to hug and kiss as many individuals as possible. Please note here that I do not mean the physical act of hugging and kissing. How often have you not appreciated what another has done for you? Do you suspect an ulterior motive? Do you possibly feel that their actions have a hidden agenda? When one does not appreciate others, one sacrifices themselves to the altar of despair. It is quite common that you become fearful and view the world as a place where danger surrounds every individual. In reality you stand on quicksand and sink ever deeper into old patterns of behavior that have already caused you to become what you are. If you learn to hug and kiss and appreciate the others around you, you will then be able to see the bright sun that will give you strength and energy to overcome even the most serious problem.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:34 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Isabella, let me ask you a simple question. Before you incarnated let us presume that you had a choice that you could have a simple resting incarnation and would therefore require very little energy brought to the physical plane or you had a challenging incarnation that would require a great deal of work which would you choose?
Isabella… Which would I want to choose, or which would I actually choose?
Seth… Which would you choose?
Isabella… The hard one
Seth… Now that you would choose the more difficult of the two. Let me ask you another question why do you want sympathy for that which you have chosen?
Isabella… It’s not sympathy, it’s guidance and advice in dealing with the challenges because sometimes unfortunately those of us who sit around this table are so keenly aware of what our challenges are. People in society don’t know for the most part what specific tasks or challenges lay ahead on their paths, so they are unaware of what they really need to be working on consciously. To me that seems like an easier road.
Frank… You mean ignorance is bliss?
Isabella… Yes, isn’t it?
Jasmine… Next time I would like to have a resting life.
Seth… Let us first start with you, Isabella. Sitting around this table in reality has given you a far easier time since as you clearly stated you are getting advice on how to deal with the challenges as they arrive one by one. The individual who is only concerned with their survival knows how difficult it is to exist on the physical plane, others are trying to understand where they fit into society and how society works. Still others use the physical plane as a source of power and finally all you have to do is to figure out what is my relationship to… (Seth here is highlighting the major learning tasks of Soul Ages. Infant Souls learn how to survive and thrive the complexities of the physical plane. Baby Souls are learning their place and how to fit into civilization. Young Souls learn about power and what they can get out of the physical plane. Mature Souls are learning about relationship to themselves, others and ideas. Old souls who were mentioned earlier in the session learn to view things from a higher perspective and help others with their own learning F.N.) Therefore, which do you believe is harder? Each challenge is meant to allow you to experience that which you require for growth.
Jasmine, as far as resting lives are concerned you have had far too many of them. One of the challenges for you is to learn how to work hard and to force yourself into letting go of behaviors that do not suit you. Your teachers and guides specifically placed you in this position to enable you to “suffer through” that which is required so that hard work becomes a part of your very being.
Are there any questions?
Shirley… Isn’t it better to become complacent rather than to fight against everything that occurs looking for the wrong part? Why look at why someone is out to hurt you? Why can’t you look at just the good parts?
Seth… Shirley Sarah, the two parts of your statements do not go hand in hand. One should never be complacent about anything. One must move forward so that you may experience that which you need. That experience may require pain or pleasure, it matters not. It is the journey that matters. The other portion of your statement about looking for the good is certainly commendable and I agree with the idea that one should always look for the profit in all endeavors yet one must be aware that for you as an individual there are people who will seek to take advantage. By not understanding their actions you victimize yourself and fall prey to their schemes.
Shirley… I think in the long run it is much easier to not expect too much from people and to not be so easily hurt by people. You always have to leave doubt in your mind when dealing with people, not always do they speak the truth. In other words there is good and bad in everything.
Seth… While that is true, one must learn that if you live in doubt and fear which is what you are suggesting, one cannot profit from these actions, one suffers for one does not learn to give of themselves properly. On the other side, since you live in fear and doubt one will find it difficult to accept the goodness of others. It is always necessary to weigh and measure any situation and that is what experience is all about. Kaetorina, you had a question?
Stephanie… This doesn’t have to do with this but about the resting lives that Jasmine has had so many of. I do not understand if the excess has not been profitable than why were so many chosen with the guidance of her guides and teachers?
Seth… Question, do we judge? We can only recommend, the final decision is yours and yours alone.
Shirley Sarah, you had another question?
Shirley… Not important.
Isabella… So how do you get yourself started on a new plan of action?
Seth… One starts any endeavor by first prioritizing that which you seek to change. When one makes a decision that something is important one then should endeavor to formulate a plan so that your ultimate success can be reached. The question here that you have not asked is how do I make this change (Isabella was not writing this down and Seth indicated that she should.) important enough so that it becomes a priority and therefore my experiences will push me in that direction.
Shirley… In other words, you don’t think you should accept things as they come, you should fight against them if you want change? In other words, if you don’t like what’s happening do we have the strength within us to change things?
Seth… The answer is simple you have experienced in your incarnation at least two major mass consciousness events. One The Great Depression and two the Second World War.
Shirley… That didn’t affect me personally.
Seth… Of course it did.
Shirley… In what way did it affect me?
Seth… It affected you by seeing individuals leave for war. There was rationing of food, there were shortages. You had nightmares for years afterwards about the Japanese coming and torturing you. You are aware of the atrocities that individuals suffered because of their faith. It is foolish to believe that these events just happened to others. If there were no individuals who would fight against the depression, millions would have suffered and starved. If there was no one to fight against the evil that was committed, you would have been dead.
Shirley… Granted that what you say is so. I still.. it personally…
Seth… It did personally happen to you.
Shirley… Apparently, it didn’t make that much of a difference.
Seth…. You do not remember clearly unfortunately for you. It made a large difference. For example, your husband wanted to buy a house, but you talked him out of it for fear that he would go off to war and regretted that decision for years. No event that has a mass consciousness effect may be isolated by anyone on the physical plane with the idea that this did not happen to me personally.
Shirley… It’s also true that time has passed, and I don’t think I’m a selfish person and yet I wonder if some of the things that happened in life did not affect me. Is that why I am so complacent? Or is it my age now that has made me feel that way?
Seth… It is your age now that influences a great deal of what you do. It is common that at your age you are desperately trying to hold on and preserve what you believe is the idea of control. As one ages each individual sees their vitality slipping away. That which they were able to do a few years ago is now a difficult task. The control that you unfortunately believe that you have lost in terms of your existence is in reality not a loss but only a change. When one is complacent one does not seek assistance from others. One detests the idea that they should not or cannot do certain things. This is an unfortunate way of existing for you. You must learn even at this stage that your existence is created by you. The more you try to prevent change the more difficult your existence is.
Let me leave you with this: Backsliding is the resistance to change. It is the fear that one exhibits that prevents profitable experience. You only magnify your wants, your needs go unfulfilled, and your stress levels increase. I bid you all a very fond good evening.
Stress and Committing to Yourself but Balancing Your Efforts
Seth 408
Stress and Committing to Yourself but Balancing Your Efforts
Tuesday June 23, 2009
8:30 PM
Seth… Good evening, it is a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We shall start with a small bit of housekeeping. First to the man through whom I speak I am pleased he has gotten the book I have requested him to read, and it would be nice for him to read more than one page a day. Second, Isabella, not taking notes detracts from your learning while you do not believe this is factual, the process of learning in this instance is tactile as well as auditory as well as visual. Kaetorina I will deal with a few subjects with you in private.
Now: We shall start again with our master subject of Change. Of course, we are on our road to misery and are still dealing with stressful situations. One of the great difficulties that individuals have that causes stress which leads to dis-ease is the fact that most individuals unfortunately on a routine basis do not commit to themselves. A simple example of this may be seen by the following statement one person will say to another do you know how many times I’ve quit smoking? The answer to this question is simple and that of course is zero. It is the lack of commitment to self to make a proper change that causes individuals to worry about, become fearful of that which they are trying to do. It is foolish for anyone to believe that they can make a change under these circumstances without being faithful to self. When one does not allow themselves a full measure of effort it is impossible for that individual to succeed with any routine regularity.
An example here may be seen with a student who does not routinely study for his or her examinations. The following course of events makes our student stressful and upset. The first area of dis-ease is clearly seen in the worry about the examination itself. Statements such as I don’t know why I didn’t study harder. I hope the teacher doesn’t put this on the exam. These events themselves force our student to become a victim of themselves. In our hypothetical situation let us assume that our student receives an A or a B on this examination. What is the learning that is now incorporated into our student? The lesson here is obvious. When one does not apply themselves and receives an adequate mark one soon believes that work is unnecessary to achieve their desired goal. As our student continues on their path of learning they make more and more excuses for not doing the work that has been laid out before them. They delude themselves into believing that just by sitting in a classroom or hearing a lecture will be enough to incorporate that material into themselves. After a while our student will start seeing his/her grades plummet. These students become defensive and angry at the system since they do not understand that they themselves have created their own difficulties. Without an intervening individual our student will continue their slide to failing grades.
Individuals who pretend that they are working as hard as they can make excuses such as “As long as I have the material on my blackberry, I will read it numerous times.” When one in any situation does not commit to themselves, they are in reality deceiving themselves due to the fact that they choose to believe that they are a sponge and can absorb all the nutrients that they require. It is obvious that individuals victimize themselves either out of fear, laziness or out of concern that they do not have the ability to progress in whatever endeavor they have undertaken.
The road to misery is strewn with the carcasses of these individuals who have labored under the idea that someone else must feed them. These individuals do not have faith in themselves. They refuse to believe that they are worth the effort that is required to promote themselves. (The above is a foreshadowing of our next major topic of learning which is Belief vs Faith that begins as of session 411. F.N.) These individuals find it convenient to worry about what others see in them. How can someone love me when I in reality do not love myself? How do I know that my friend is truly there for me when I am not there for myself? The question arises routinely, how do I know? This type of stress permeates many individuals. The desire to be confident and to feel approved by others is massive within these type of individuals. It is necessary for these individuals to understand that without a commitment to self it is impossible for success to find them.
Individuals who routinely suffer from the same dis-ease have not learned from past experience. They are so fearful, and stressed over futuristic events that they do not function adequately where their greatest point of power is. That of course is the present. Many lectures ago I suggested that one must make note of your chance encounters. These seemingly random acts or events are in reality signposts for you to not only observe but to learn from. The individual who has gotten three speeding tickets and wonders why his insurance premiums have risen clearly does not understand his past. The individual who is divorced and finds a new mate will often find their new mate is in reality the same as their original one. Individuals who do not move along after a close friend or relative has ended their incarnation become stuck in the past, they have not learned. The individual who cannot or will not look at problems that repeat over and over again has not committed to themselves and suffers from stress-related disorders. They find it easier to hide from the truth than to work at improving themselves.
It should be noted here that hard work carries with it no guarantee of success! Far too many of your self-help books imply that if you work hard you must succeed. Nothing on the physical plane guarantees success. The question arises if you work hard, and you dedicate yourself to whatever project you have why can’t you be assured of a positive outcome? The answer here is simple, one may not turn right without having the ability to turn left. One cannot be correct without having the probability of being incorrect. These simplistic ideas are often forgotten by most who inhabit the physical plane. How often have each of you heard the phrase but I worked so hard. The delusion here is but a form of a camouflage system that prevents individuals from truly committing to themselves. Each individual must take the responsibility of creating for themselves that which they require. Unfortunately, failure must be learned. If one makes the effort to understand that failure is necessary for learning it becomes clear that if one only experienced success one is incomplete.
There must be a balance between all your efforts. You cannot believe that if you dedicate yourself to only one path you are helping yourself prosper. Individuals who do this become disappointed with the world around them especially if they themselves do not succeed in their chosen endeavor. Worse yet is the individual who does succeed in one line but is not balanced. There will come a point of reference when that individual must “retire” from that endeavor. The question here arises what now? What do I do with the rest of my incarnation? An unbalanced individual cannot and will not be centered on the physical plane. No matter what their success they will feel a lack and then create a void within themselves. They cannot fathom the idea that they no longer have the ability to continue on. Often, they are depressed and certainly angry over these events. Each of you must balance your efforts to become whole. The individual who reads only mysteries looks at the world and sees a mysterious place which they cannot understand.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
9:18 PM
Seth… Let us continue. It is obvious that the balancing of one’s efforts will center individuals so that their greatest point of power is now. When one has unilateral interests, you tend to be drawn off center in the vain attempt to prove to yourself that you can accomplish that which you believe you require without the benefit of work in other areas. If you only let us, say enjoy sports whether it be playing a game or watching television your interests are unilateral. When your team does not succeed you run the gamut of emotions which start with hope and end with failure. Since you are then pulled away from your center position you have lost your great ability to create that which you require. An interest in any line of study is just that an interest, it is not more or less important than any other line of study.
Commonly souls who inhabit the physical plane may incarnate with one idea or plan. As they move along, their interest in that line of study diminishes and quite commonly, they will find something else to fill the void that has been created. Note here that I am not saying that our individual soul is finished with their first line of study. I am stating that they have moved away from that line of interest. They of course will pick up their original plan in any other incarnation that they choose to pursue their original line of study. It is foolish to believe that an individual who is not flexible can succeed in any line of study. One must always have the ability to focus in upon that which interests them. Now I am not stating that one must become overwhelmed with their new interest. Please note that when one is consumed by any line of study it is in fact a warning sign to that individual that they are being dragged away from their point of power.
It is impossible to commit to oneself if you do not balance yourself with any number of interests. While it seems profitable to work as hard as one can on any particular line of study, in reality that idea causes an imbalance within that individual. A clear example of this may be seen with the idea of an individual who decides to lose weight. Commonly they become so obsessed with their weight loss and their new set of values. This causes themselves as well as others dis-ease due to the stress that they have placed upon this new line of study.
Are there any other questions?
Isabella… How do you get passed the how do I know place?
Seth… When an individual is mired down with the idea of “how do I know?” It becomes an all-consuming set of horrors. Individuals who are in this place first victimize others by words or by deeds. This of course develops into a trust issue. The question here may be stated in whom do I trust? The common belief and the question that is asked is how do I know that the other will do for me, love me, like me or be there for me on a routine basis? This question itself is where the difficulty lies. The question is not whether the other is trustworthy but are you trustworthy? Let me explain. When one does not trust the other it is a clear indication that you yourself are having difficulty with whatever problem you foresee or imagine in the other. If you do not trust a person to pay back the money you have lent them then in reality you are stating that I would probably try to avoid paying back that which I owe. When one questions another in terms of loyalty one is routinely drawing on their own experiences and stating how do I know that I will be loyal. As stated earlier this evening, what have you learned from your past? These type of questions victimize first the other individual and they routinely become resentful! More importantly you victimize yourself due to the fact that you are reinforcing the idea that you have a lack of trust in yourself. To have a proper relationship one must commit to themselves so that your dealings with others become balanced and fair. Remember that which you fear you bring to yourself. That which you accept and move past is a learning experience and promotes your growth.
Isabella… So, when I ask my routine how do I know questions am I really asking will I do those things?
Seth… Correct. You don’t feel it but that is what you mean. You cannot project upon someone else your fears. Your fears are unique to you. If one looks in a simplistic manner at the actions of another, fear-based ideas come from experience from that other person. Your experiences have shaped and molded that which you are. One then questions the interpretation of your experiences with other individuals. The how do I know question is based upon the idea of a futuristic event. Fear is always futuristic therefore when you project outward you are really asking how do I know that I am worth it, how do I know if I can trust myself to be the individual that I want the other to be for me. Your experiences with ideas clearly demonstrate that you are far too concerned with futuristic questions since the future itself is as changeable as the past or present. You move yourself in a direction toward unhappiness, you do this out of the mistaken idea you can’t trust others yet when questioned you have no valid interpretation of these events.
Isabella… From the other person?
Seth… Correct… The question than arises since you have no valid interpretation from the other their can only be one other idea do I trust myself? Since your experience proves that you cannot trust yourself…
Isabella… What do you mean trust myself that I am worth it?
Seth… Not only that you are worth it but that you are honorable, that you are loyal, that you will follow in what you deem now is a correct manner. Your interpretation from your ego centered viewpoint is limited. You have what may be best described as tunnel vision as do most people with the same set of ideas. One must attempt to look at the larger picture and open your viewpoint so that you understand the idea of trusting yourself first so that you will be able to trust in others.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… The idea of having a number of interests for balance reminds me of the natural approach. I asked Jerry earlier if there was something I could do daily to help me “pick up the different crumbs from the table” and not be so linear?
Seth… The question itself asks us to give you information that would disenfranchise your own creative abilities. It is not for me to tell you or anyone for that matter how to live your life that choice must always be yours.
Are there any other questions?
Arthur… So, if I don’t trust Joe the taxi driver and I squash that, that brings me the very thing …
Seth… That is correct. Let me give you an example here. If you are in a taxicab and you know that the driver is purposely taking a long route and say nothing, how have you committed to yourself to do the correct thing?
Let me leave you with this. Change may be accomplished in any line of study by understanding yourself. That which you do not enjoy hinders your growth, your wants are magnified, your stress levels increase, and you become miserable. Dis-ease often follows, and your needs will hardly be met if at all. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have you here with me again this evening. We shall start with a small bit of housekeeping. Kaetorina, you are to inform Isabella that since she makes no effort to do her reading or to attend sessions on a regular basis, I am clearly stating that she shall not receive any sessions that she misses. One should not profit from not doing work. That being said to our friend Frank I am pleased to understand that you have started your typing of Session 394 and since you enjoy deadlines (Stephanie and Frank laughed as deadlines were probably mentioned at dinner.) you have three weeks from tonight to finish that session.
Now: Frank, would you be kind enough to get a rubber band from that door handle, one for you and one for Kaetorina. Let me give you the instructions first. I want you to place the rubber band around your hand and across your palm (Seth demonstrated.) then notice how it feels. Next place your other hand inside the rubber band so that your palms are facing and third move your hands apart as far apart as you reasonably can and then judge how this makes you feel. You may start the exercise now. (As we tried Seth explained to feel how one hand felt first then two hands stretching the rubber band and then to judge again how it felt by moving our hands out as far as we reasonably could and then to go even further apart and then release. It is recommended that the reader try this exercise! F.N.) What this simple exercise has done is to show you how stress affects all individuals. When you had the rubber band on one hand this is an indication of the fact that stress is a normal part of the physical plane. You noticed that something was there, but it did not concern you. When you placed your second hand with palms touching you were aware that there was tightness and that there was a desire to keep the status quo. Next, I asked you to move your hands apart to a reasonable distance, you immediately noticed that there was a strong desire to eliminate the tugging or pulling feeling that was placed on your hands. I finally told you to increase the pressure to move as far apart as you could, you became worrisome and fearful that the rubber band would break. When I finally told you to release and close your hands together there was a feeling of ease that surrounded you.
The idea of stress is comparable to our rubber band exercise, stress is always there! For the most part you are unaware of its existence and take no steps to ease any burden that this type of stress may cause. The moment you slipped your other hand into position you became aware that something that was difficult, unpleasant, or challenging was going on. In simplistic terms you became aware of stress. Next, I told you to move your hands a reasonable distance apart from each other. In your own minds you magnified the difficulty that the stress induced. You felt trapped if you will by the desire to alleviate the push pull situation that you were experiencing. Finally, I told you to increase the amount of tension or stress that you were placing on the rubber band. Fear now overwhelmed your thoughts. The desire to eliminate the fear became obvious. For the most part all of your thinking abilities were focused upon not breaking apart. In other words, you suffered from a lack of clear thinking. Our friend Frank moved his hands under the table. Kaetorina lowered her hands and moved them to the right and downward. Both of you demonstrated that you were willing to give up the fight against what you perceived was a massive amount of tension or pressure. In other words, you gave into the stress. (I remember this exercise vividly over seven years later as I edit this. I was quite stressed out and a bit upset that a mere rubber band was inducing me to feel so! F.N.)
These traits are common among individuals when they allow stress itself to overshadow the event. Individuals become so fearful that they will reach a breaking point that they become ignorant of their own actions. In simplistic terms the desire for relief outweighs the idea that the problem itself always has been going on for a period of “time.” It is far too easy for individuals to eliminate thinking out of fear that they cannot or will not handle whatever difficulties they have. That being stated the question should arise when do I start focusing in upon the aspect of Change? Remember our main topic is Change we are on The Road to Misery out of the Stress that we allow to surround our daily existence. One must notice that most individuals live their lives in this fashion.
One must reflect on the idea that it is necessary to live your life as if it was water. Besides being cool and refreshing, even a slow moving stream will always cause change. Water will eventually erode even the largest mountain. It will slowly cut away at whatever surface it flows upon. The same must be said for individuals who handle stress inappropriately. These individuals fight against the river. The desire for release prevents them from formulating an easy path. The river itself flows and takes its easiest way to reach its final destination. It curves, it bends and moves ever onward toward its desired goal. This cannot be said of most individuals. It becomes mandatory that a river will wash away that which is not profitable for its goal. The same must be said about individuals who are so stressed they do not function adequately; they don’t change, they don’t bend. If you live your life like water, you will be able to wash away the bad patterns of behavior that you have set up for yourself. This effect requires WORK! Most individuals believe that by shutting down, moving away from any difficult situation eliminates that which they fear. This of course is untrue. You cannot run away from that which bothers you due to the fact that your experience on the physical plane prevents you from achieving comfort in these types of situations.
One must again look at yourself as water. If someone were to throw a pebble into a quiet pool of water, there is a ripple effect. Waves spread out across its surface. The deeds and actions that you make on a day-to-day basis are the ripples in the lake. They may either be positive or negative. The more positive ripples you make the greater your chance for success. That which you fear you bring towards yourself. You will notice that if you were to throw two stones of equal size into our pond as the ripples meet, they cancel each other out and the waters are left undisturbed. However, when you go ahead and throw a very large stone that is negative into our pond and at the same time throw a small stone which is a positive effect into our pond the negative aspects overwhelm the positive ones and spread out and become unstoppable.
The individual who only examines others and refuses to look at themselves clearly demonstrates this effect. No matter what good they do they overwhelm themselves, and others with the negative aspects of their own personality. These type of individuals do not foresee or understand that their actions and in many cases inaction effects most individuals. They are too concerned with the idea that they are not alone with their misery. They rationalize their behavior by stating that others do the same thing and in doing so they prevent themselves from moving forward and become stuck in the past. It is impossible to eliminate stress in these situations since they are entrenched in the idea that I am not alone. These types of individuals have traveled the road to misery so many times that they are not aware that they are on the same path over and over again.
To ease the stress that individuals have one must look to the idea that it is necessary to do for others! If you do not do for others then you are indeed alone. You isolate yourself from events and pleasures that you may have. If you do something positive, in other words do a good deed the ripple effect that you send out to the universe is magnified and will be returned to you in ways that you cannot imagine. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. What you send out molds and shapes your future. You cannot expect to have a prosperous experience without being prosperous yourself. You cannot benefit from kindness unless you learn to be kind yourself. That which you experience is a creation of your own making. That creation of course may be positive or negative. The question then arises if you are experiencing anything that is not pleasurable then one must endeavor to change!
The good deeds that you attempt to do may not always be appreciated or understood by other individuals. Unfortunately, most individuals when faced with this type of a situation become so stressed by others actions that they feel that their rubber band is about to break. They are so wrapped up with their own emotional garbage that they cannot and certainly for the most part will not allow themselves to be thoughtful and appreciative of their own actions. There is an old expression, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. While the words are simple the concept often escapes most people. The idea itself is difficult to grasp when another does not appreciate that which you have tried to do. This being said the way that you correct this type of a situation is to inquire why the other person is having difficulty with your actions. While seemingly simple, this act itself escapes most individual’s thought processes. I will allow the man through whom I speak to change this side of the tape.
One must if growth is to be expected and new experiences are desired, the idea of being open, to remain open is mandatory if success is to be found. The idea of change itself to avoid the road to misery can only be accomplished if you desire profit! In this instance profit means growth and acceptance of that which is necessary for you as an individual to move forward. The idea of the status quo must be eliminated from your concept of reality. You cannot profit by standing still. Movement is always necessary. If you are open to see a new environment even if it is stressful you will be able to come away with the idea that you can succeed. As previously stated, the bad patterns of behavior that most individuals have are due to the fact that they approach “similar situations” in the same manner that they always have approached such stressful events. When you learn to approach every situation in a manner that allows you to grow and to experience any event as if it were new then you will be able to wear away your bad patterns of behavior. It is this process that allows you to use stress in a profitable manner.
When stress is used as an indicator of an event whether positive or negative you will then be able to approach that event with an ability to think and to justify your own actions. The idea of our pond where the waves of progress move toward shore can only be achieved if the boulder that is thrown into the water wipes away the negative effects of whatever difficulties you have had when dealing with whatever event has taken place.
One must learn to give themselves permission to change. While this idea is incredibly simple the difficulty that surrounds that idea is unbelievably hard for most people to accept. Most individuals would choose to remain static or as with our rubber band exercise desire release from the pressure of tension. One must be willing to work through the difficulty that you face. If you give yourself permission to work then the results will justify your own actions. It should be noted here that success does not mean winning! Success means understanding that you are not infallible, that you can make an error and that you will not always succeed in whatever endeavor you have embarked upon. Simply put success means growth.
At this point we shall take a break. (9:27)
Seth… Let us continue. I will make this simple for all of you. Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Does the idea of time affect the way in which one handles stress and their perception of it?
Seth… No. When an individual looks at a recurring event over a period of time, they become more stressed the more often they perceive that the same event is constantly reoccurring. In reality if they approach the event differently each “time” even if their stress levels increase the results will be different due to the fact that they are not reacting in the same manner. Does that answer your question?
Stephanie… In the event of Natalie and her dizziness issue and my becoming upset. Instead of wanting the stress to go away now, had I waited it out and gave it more time to unfold would that have made a difference for me and that’s how I am relating the idea of time.
Seth… Again, the answer is no. You did not approach each event as if it was new. What you did was to pretend that it was a constantly ongoing situation that you then magnified into this gigantic problem. Since you made no effort to differentiate the sequence of events what you then did was magnify your own stress and dis-ease! Think of the country road, I believe that will help you get a grasp on this type of difficulty. Are you satisfied?
Stephanie… Okay. Then when you speak of the idea of wanting the release now from the stress if this doesn’t have to do with time then how does this problem affect the stress in general and how one handles it in relationship, to this idea?
Seth… The stress in general, is the problem itself that you allow to continue due to your inability to change. You kept moving along the same path without bothering to look for different solutions to the difficulty that you were facing. This of course is true for most individuals.
Stephanie… So, you are saying that the wanting of the stress to end…
Seth… Left you wanting!
Frank, you have a question?
Frank… The idea of good deeds and helping others has to do with an ongoing process as opposed to the stressful event itself. Or it does not matter?
Seth… What is the difference between the two?
Frank… The difference is one is an ongoing process and another is event specific.
Seth… Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing on the physical plane that is not ongoing. You forget that all souls are embarked upon their own specific lines of study. These lines of study are there not only for you to observe and to learn from but for all others to observe, learn from and thereby profit from those ideas. It is impossible to have a singularity for that would isolate you from everything that you know. Since it is impossible to be that isolated the question, itself only reinforces your desire to walk aimlessly in the forest.
Frank… What are the specific reasons that doing good deeds help you with stress?
Seth… When you reread this session, it will become obvious to you that the ripple effect when used properly overshadows and thereby eliminates the negative aspects of any problem. When you give assistance to others, when you shelter them from their troubles you are thereby eliminating the idea of the release of stress since you are taking a positive step. In doing so you provide yourself with an opportunity to remain open on a subject area. When one is open on any subject area you allow new experiences to flow through you so that you may profit and grow from these difficult situations. If you close yourself off and do not allow assistance in, you are preventing yourself from receiving information from higher realms and you then become mired down with your ego which has now been set to focus only in a narrow band that points outward from the self to the physical plane. This situation prevents you from moving forward and allowing information from your second framework to be passed along to you “the actor” who resides on the physical plane.
When one prevents information from reaching you become stagnant and in doing so you make change more difficult. It becomes a taxing problem for individuals to become receptive to information because they cannot understand it because they are closed off even to the most rudimentary forms of assistance. You become weighed down in your own misery so that you cannot and will not function in a correct manner.
A great many of your questions from our first session on stress will be found in the second session on stress. I asked you to open yourselves at your dinner session so you could become receptive to this type of information. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… When someone does not appreciate your assistance does it in any way affect the giver in a negative fashion?
Seth… The giver of assistance in the situation that you have described has a great many choices that he/she may look at. Simply put anger, annoyance, and frustration, disappointment all may be seen and used by our assistance giver in response to the other. In reality our assistance giver must learn to simply state I attempted and tried my best I feel badly for the other but that is their choice, and I will be open to render assistance again should they desire it.
Stephanie…. Does the universe still reward them for it even though it’s not appreciated?
Seth… Simple question, why do you have to be rewarded? Again, this shows a lack of understanding…
Stephanie… No, I am talking about, do you still get…
Seth… Excuse me, I understand clearer than what you believe I do.
Stephanie… Right. (Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Again, this shows a lack of understanding of the idea of reward. You do not get a gold star on your paper. The reward is in the learning, the universe itself does not pat you on the head and say good job.
I will leave you with this: Stress itself when used properly will assist you in moving away from the road to misery. It will allow you to change. Your needs will be fed, and your wants will lift like the fog in bright sunshine. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We shall do a small bit of housekeeping. Jasmine, I hope that you found your little extra session helpful and enjoyable. You must make a valiant effort to continue with your reading. (Note to readers Session 405 was a private question and answer session and is not included here. F.N.)
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Frank, you have been somewhat neglectful in terms of the typing of what is becoming a vast reservoir of material.
Frank… I’ll get on it.
Seth… I hate to put some pressure on you, but you certainly must make an effort.
This is for Jasmine. One of the difficulties about handling a parent is the simple fact that guilt will often make you do things that are unnecessary and unwarranted. It is always more profitable for anyone to promote themselves and their actions over the idea of guilt which produces feelings of being worthless.
Now: under our subject of change we have been heading down the road to misery. We are going to embark on another area and so we will require a working definition of stress. Therefore, that being stated, Betty, please give me a definition of stress.
Betty… Any event or situation that would cause me imbalance or dis-ease.
Seth… Rick? You may take the microphone.
Rick… A reaction of one’s body or mind to a difficult situation making normal functioning a problem.
Arthur… Requirements for responses which feel pressuring.
Frank… A reaction to external and possibly internal events or stimulus that may be repeated that makes you feel anxious, overwhelmed or bothered.
Jasmine… This is a definition of stress? (Jasmine had been in the kitchen dealing with a phone call.)
Seth… Working definitions of stress other than the word “Mother”.
Jasmine… I would say the result of certain emotions evoked by difficult situations, relationships and even self-ruminations can produce stress.
Stephanie… In my view I feel that stress is literally ones own manifestations of their experiences on the physical plane. It’s what you are doing with the events that emerge that one then may experience as stress.
Seth… It is interesting to note that every definition that was given had the unfortunate idea that stress itself is a negative! This is far from the truth. When you, as an individual, feel stress one must take notice of the fact that you are preparing to change directions in terms of the path that you are on. Quite commonly the lassie-fare attitude that most people exhibit is detrimental to their growth in terms of experience on the physical plane. There are numerous examples where stress itself should be profitable and helpful in this regard. The example that Jasmine’s mother provided is a clear indication of how most individuals handle difficult situations. Jasmine herself became upset and bothered. An opportunity was missed for her to change direction in terms of how to deal with her mother. Frances thrives upon the idea of guilt. In doing so she promotes the idea that Jasmine is inferior because of her actions. Without getting into a major disagreement with Frances, Jasmine should have stated her position in no uncertain terms thereby eliminating the idea of guilt and the feelings of inferiority that are always promoted by her mother.
Another example here may be seen with Kaetorina’s dealings with her son Peter’s bathroom accidents. Her first response is to become angry due to the stressful situation that was presented. The question arises by Kaetorina’s anger what lesson is Peter learning and what lesson has Kaetorina learned as well? These questions apply to all individuals when faced with events that are disagreeable to them. The handling of these events, meaning what path you choose to embark upon, is a clear indication of how you will change that situation. Anger itself, while useful, still has its place but not in these situations. The individual who screams and yells or makes obscene gestures only delays a profitable solution to whatever problem she is facing. One must realize that it is difficult for you to become objective and not run down the road toward misery if you cannot think clearly! It is the lack of thinking that causes stress to become abhorrent to most individuals.
Your physicians are constantly finding new diseases where stress has played an important role in the disease development. Individuals who refuse to look at the difficulties that they are having in terms of a profitable solution will find themselves suffering from any number of diseases that cause them to become more miserable than they previously were. The person who has difficulties with their boss will find that their stomach will be bothering them. They will develop headaches and become uncomfortable even at the thought of going to the office. These symptoms are a manifestation of choosing the wrong path and not allowing yourself to handle whatever problems you have in a manner that will allow you to succeed in whatever endeavor you have chosen.
When an individual feels stressed it is common that they have piled their plate so high that they cannot function adequately. Most individuals are capable of dealing with one or even two, possibly three difficult situations at any one point of reference. The difficulty arises when our hypothetical individual attempts to problem solve all his difficulties at one time. He literally divides himself into three selves. None of these selves have the ability to function independently due to the fact that the physical plane mind has become so limited in its view that our individual cannot process information from higher realms. These difficulties are compounded by the day-to-day events that each person moves through on the physical plane.
There are individuals who look for stress. They are not satisfied unless they can find something that they may worry over. They are in reality hypochondriacs and derive pleasure from feeling ill at ease. These individuals are never satisfied, they will always have their own agenda regardless of the fact that their agenda may have nothing to do with the problems at hand. They use discomfort to further their own feelings of inadequacy. This translates for these individuals into the idea that they themselves are trying to promote their own feelings of supremacy over the others that they are dealing with. An example here is the individual who is never satisfied with what they have. These individuals believe that not having is a fact that they must overcome and if they will attempt through their own agenda to provide themselves with anything that they believe is important to them. One of the difficulties that these people have is the fact that they can’t make a logical decision easily. They guess and second guess everything around them even when the decision involves something pleasurable. They are not quite sure that they have the right to be satisfied. They look for the most microscopic idea or event to cause themselves to become unhappy.
They themselves feel that they are alone and yet what do they do? They immediately rush out in a vain attempt to elicit others to help them fill the voids that they have created. Change and stress here are marked by the feelings of emptiness that these people have. They commonly define themselves in relationship issues by others. They might say I only have wealthy friends. I only enjoy being with intellectual and stimulating individuals. These type of statements cause individuals no matter how many friends that they have to become lonely and at times desperate for some compassionate relationship.
The answer here is simple; one must use the idea of stress to change how you perceive yourself. If you are unhappy, or unsatisfied with the way you look there are many things you can do to alter your physical plane appearance. Until one finds themselves you will be unable to find happiness with anything that you choose on any path that you take since you will always uncover some disaster that will cause you to flounder in the murky waters of stress. Individuals who are alone routinely blame others for their lack of self-satisfaction. My wife or husband does nothing for me. My coworkers are incompetent. My boss wants everything without giving anything in return. These type of statements isolate our individual from success. You cannot succeed on the physical plane if you are alone.
When an individual feels stress the most common reaction is to sit down and detest the idea that there is something going on that you do not like. The same may be said for individuals who have difficulty with any set of emotions. It is the idea again that one isolates themselves with their feelings that leads you into a nonproductive course of action. When one sits down and hides from that which you are feeling you truly cannot prosper due to the fact that no assistance may be given because you do not have the wherewithal to even ask for help.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:19 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. The topic this evening should have provided all of you with numerous questions. Therefore, let us start with that. Are there any questions?
Frank… The idea of this heaping of things on the plate and multitasking. This multitasking is pretty much a bad idea, correct?
Seth… No.
Frank… Why not?
Seth… The concept of multitasking is appropriate when the individual is capable of dividing the work into logical compartments. Our individual here must be able to divide his workload fairly so that each task itself must be appropriate for the time allotted to that task. When you have as in our lecture example three things you would choose to do, and each item is causing you stress and you are unable to provide sufficient time for that task then of course you are unable to change and your workload increases and your prosperity decreases. Go ahead Frank
Frank… I understand that, I have a different question. I understand the idea of recognizing the stress and the idea of then trying to catch the same event the next time around but how does one develop the ability to shift in midstream to then make that change?
Seth… The simplest of all answers and of course the most obvious is by doing so. While that seems like an answer fit for a child in actuality it is a difficult process to achieve. Your statement implies that you have not approached the same problem in a different way. In other lectures I have clearly stated that for change to occur one must approach an event as if it was happening for the first time. When you do not do this, you fall back upon the idea that has already failed you. It has failed you because your learning experience was incomplete. If you do the same thing routinely without giving yourself any opportunity to attempt or to seek a new direction, then of course your stress levels will increase and change becomes impossible.
Frank… That’s what I meant because if you were approaching it anew it wouldn’t really be that stressful like the person within the lecture who are really stressed. Is there any pulling out of that or do you have to wait for the next time?
Seth… The question itself without my being harsh is foolish due to the following. If you are in heavy traffic and there is an exit coming up and the service road is empty, do you stay in heavy traffic or do you “pull out of it” and proceed in a new direction? In both instances you will get to the same destination. With one your stress levels and difficulties will be great with the other they will be far simpler. I suggest you think about that.
Betty… I understand you need to look at something in a new way or try something. But now I’m dealing with a current and recurrent stressor of going back to court again with Sam. How can I do anything different here? I have a new lawyer, that’s different.
Seth… So, you have already made a change. Have you not?
Betty… I have but it still remains…
Seth… Remember the problem itself is still the problem. (Betty talking simultaneously.)
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… You are looking for a result that will ease your burden.
Betty… Correct.
Seth… By changing your lawyer, you are approaching your problem differently.
Betty… It is that simple?
Seth… Yes, it is by doing it. What you are fretting about…
Betty… Is getting the same result.
Seth… Is getting the same result which you have no idea about what will occur. Frank, do you have anything else on this question?
Frank… I understand minimizing the damage by getting off the exit but you don’t have a satisfactory result until you make a change before you lose it, so you have to wait for it to come around again. You maybe learned a partial lesson.
Seth… I suggest you think about this because your previous statement is not correct. Are there any other questions?
Arthur… In terms of changes about self-esteem. In the specific example of Susan my patient, can you give me an idea of how to change the course that she is on?
Seth… Have you had your patient make a list of the things that she likes about herself? What someone enjoys about themselves should be promoted. Change in this sense moves an individual to prosperity since what they enjoy about themselves will automatically be promoted. When they find things, they do not like about themselves they will tend to discard those issues because they do not benefit them.
Arthur… That seems like a potentially profitable way to go….
Seth… My question to you is simple. Far too many therapists work with the negative instead of promoting that which is beneficial to the individual. While it is true that many individuals have difficulty, and these difficulties should be explored. Far too many points of reference are used in trying to find the elusive answer. If that which you enjoy is left alone it will wither and die and then you will have a whole new set of difficulties to handle. I believe that should give you a sense of direction or a whole new set of possibilities.
Arthur… Thank you.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Stress itself is neither positive nor negative. It is the first indication that an individual has toward the necessity of change. When used properly your needs will be met and your wants lessened. A profitable good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. As we shall start with a small bit of housekeeping: Jasmine you must get back to your reading since you are having difficulties. The same thing is true for you Kaetorina. That being stated Kaetorina, you have a question?
Stephanie… When you feel disappointed over and over again why do you end up feeling broken? Is it because you feel that the disappointments are your fault?
Seth… This fits nicely into our major subject of Change leading one down the road to Misery, disappointment and now you are broken. The question here is how does one define the concept of broken? In its simplest form the idea is that you are not whole or incomplete if you will. This belief system is obviously detrimental to all those who follow this path. First the idea of being broken leads one to believe that they are responsible for the difficulties that seem to surround them. When someone disappoints you and you take that concept into yourself thereby making it part of you, your belief system then engages this concept, and you erroneously believe that you are not whole. This of course leads you to despair and unhappiness. One tends to believe that even when you make an error you are responsible for the other person’s misery. This of course is untrue. When you take in a negative line of study you become instantaneously part of those concepts. You tend to believe that if you were better, smarter, you would be able to deal with these disappointments in an appropriate manner than you heretofore have done.
Since you feel incomplete you make yourself responsible for that which you believe are the true facts that surround you. One of the great difficulties here is the fact that you do not ask questions of self or of others in dealing with these type of situations. Acceptance here is the downfall of your own belief system. Your psyche suffers due to the fact that your limited viewpoint on this particular matter does not allow you to function as a whole individual. You trap yourself in a series of beliefs that cause you to victimize yourself in response to the disappointment of another. Individuals, when faced with these types of situations due to their ego problems limit the intake of information from the physical plane side of your existence. They literally cut themselves off from information from higher realms. In doing so they only receive information that is detrimental to their psyche since that information is restrictive by its own nature.
These facts cause individuals to feel incomplete, broken if you will, since they have no outlet for their gestalt of feelings that surround them. One cannot function properly when you eliminate the largest supplier of information that anyone can have. Your connection with the second framework should be your greatest resource so that you may establish a working relationship with unlimited supplies of energy and information. The concept here of not being complete is obvious even to the most casual observer since in reality you are incomplete due to the fact that you are not receiving and processing all the information that you require.
This type of information that you eliminate causes anger on your part as well as anger on the part of another. Since you literally provoke another because you did not ask a question, your viewpoint cannot be accurate since you do not and cannot understand where the primary individual is coming from. What happens in these cases is that you do not approach the disappointment anew. You reflect back upon previous situations that are similar in nature to the one you are going through. When you do this, you will often find that your assumptions are erroneous. This of course will lead you down the road to misery since you will blame yourself for placing yourself as well as another in a situation that was not meant to be! What is broken here is the concept of challenging yourself so that you may establish a correct line of information between you and another as well as a proper line of communication to yourself. How often have you chastised yourself for your inability to understand what the other truly meant?
It should be noted here and clearly understood that you are who you are and not what you do. This concept must be considered in any discussion with others. If you understand what you are, you will then be able to convey your feelings on any particular matter that confronts you. The question also arises how many times have you done something that you regretted? How many times have you made an error in judgment? It is clear that one does not define themselves by what you do. Please note that I am not saying that one should not take responsibility for their actions. If you have hurt someone, if you have accused someone then of course you should apologize if you have made an error. Unfortunately, most individuals define themselves by these type of actions. My question to them is simple if you have made an error the only way you can properly define yourself is by stating I am not perfect. If one acts in a cruel manner routinely you are then establishing the concept that you are that type of an individual. Are you an individual who becomes insulted when someone else accidentally bumps you? What are you stating to the physical plane about yourself?
Most individuals use the concept of how you act to define themselves or another. These actions themselves limit growth. Your viewpoints are fractured since it is impossible for anyone to define you in a fair and just manner. This is not to imply that your actions themselves may not be fair or just in any particular situation. An example here may be seen with the idea of a man who is at work and has had an argument with his wife earlier that day. Someone at work gives our individual a slightly difficult time and the response is often equated to a nuclear explosion. Therefore, to an outsider looking in you would define our individual as being mean, inappropriate, unjust, and insensitive yet without knowing the true story how can one define this type of individual? Our individual who exploded commonly is remorseful over their actions, yet they do nothing to rectify their behavior since they are embarrassed by their own actions. Often, they are defensive and try to justify that which occurs as appropriate since they cannot look at themselves.
In many cultures it is appropriate to learn to weave your own life. There are many tentacles and roads that interconnect you with other individuals not only on a day-to-day basis but on a spiritual and emotional basis as well. When you are “broken” you close off to the concept of interconnecting that which you are to that which someone else is. You do not allow for free communication of concepts or ideas that seem difficult to you. Your ability to interact with others is a mainstay of your own growth and development. Without the ability to interact one does not have the ability to change, to prosper and certainly to experience all that is required of any individual who inhabits the physical plane. The web that you weave must have roads that allow interaction between you and anyone else who accompanies you on whatever path you are taking. When individuals isolate themselves their viewpoints narrow, they do not function on a level that promotes experience. Their experience is limited by their own inability to allow ideas from themselves to be incorporated into the mass consciousness of the physical plane. Mass consciousness itself is something that must be profitable if your experience on the physical plane is to be made whole. Since it is impossible for any individual to live in a vacuum your dependency upon others increases as you advance on the road of knowledge. You cannot experience all that you hope for without interactions with others. It should be noted that all experiences are not the same. Some will be positive and others negative, but this in itself matters not since the experience of any line of study demands that where there is right there must be left. These facts cannot be denied.
One moment please. (At this point Seth turned over the tape.)
One of the difficulties with individuals is that they do not free themselves of that which they desire. Far too often the concept of “that is what I want” is used to allow individuals to victimize others. They use the concept of that which one desires as a need when in reality it is a want. You cannot be whole unless you understand the difference between your wants and your needs. Language here is an ineffective tool to convey this concept. Far too often individuals become focused on a particularly small desire. They use this concept to drive them towards an imaginary goal, yet the goal is always elusive due to the fact that their wants are never met. They literally break themselves apart in an attempt to achieve something that is impossible to grasp. The individual who cannot understand how to react to disappointment becomes obsessed with the concept of how do I react to someone who disappoints me?
These individuals tend to eliminate individuals who disappoint them. They do this since their concept of disappointment is flawed. They’re looking for individuals who are perfect and who will always meet their needs. It is obvious at this point that the perfect individual does not exist. When you attempt to eliminate disappointment from your existence you will quickly find that you are isolating yourself from the rest of humanity. It is how you handle disappointment that matters. If you jump into the pool of disappointment without taking a swimming lesson you will quickly drown in that pool. One cannot swim when you are weighed down by your own actions. Each individual must first ask questions of the other to establish a line of communication so that the full scope of the event may be understood. Without a clear understanding of where the other individual is coming from it is impossible to react anew to balance what appears to be an old situation against a current problem. Far too often you come to what appears to be a familiar situation and one reacts to this situation in your usual manner, and only later do you find out that this situation had very little to do with what you thought it did.
The concept of being broken here is explained by a lack of information that one obtains from any particular set of ideas. Let me be perfectly clear, most arguments and misunderstandings occur because of a lack of information. Two individuals tend to explode at one another since they are so sure that they are correct as compared to the other. To repair a broken item, one glues it back together. I suggest the same procedures and ideas be used in terms of communication to repair the self as well as the other. When one is in pain due to a specific problem it is necessary for you to use that pain to assist others who have a similar problem. It is often said that you cannot understand what I am going through. While that may be true in some instances the pain that you have dealt with can and should be used to assist other victims of the same malady. Use your discomfort to mend a broken heart not only will you find that the other will be grateful for your assistance, but you will also find that you will have helped yourself in the same way.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:40 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. In order to allow the session to continue I will simply state are there any questions?
(Frank mentioned that he had a question about a patient that could wait until the end of session. Seth said no, that this material was too important and would be the only thing we would deal with this evening.)
Rick… I want to clarify something. You said it is clearly understood that you are what you are and not what you do. This concept must be considered in any discussion with others. My question is who are the others and what is the meaning of that statement? Why is that statement important?
Seth… The others in this statement are any individual that you have dealings with. When one is judged by what you specifically do without knowing the full background it is quite likely that an imperfect judgment is made by the person who is judging you. You are responsible for defining who and what you are and if you are responsible for yourself then you become responsible for your actions. If your actions are irresponsible, hurtful, annoying then of course you will have an opportunity to redefine yourself by correcting that which you have said or done. With this course of action, you define self, you are stating who and what you are, and your actions are secondary to you since they are a result of what you believed they should be.
Are there any other questions? (There was a very long pause. Seth’s lecture was quite long. He spoke straight without any questions interspersed; he had to turn the tape before taking a break which was unusual. I believe we may have been a little overwhelmed and therefore had no questions.)
If you are all satisfied, I will leave you with this: When you are feeling disjointed you are incomplete since you are not allowing information from the second framework to flow into you. When you do not communicate with others to obtain vital information you are broken since your viewpoint is so narrowed. When you expand that which you deal with you will find that your needs will be met. When you contract and do not allow a proper flow of information all you will receive is want.
Disappointment and Three Concepts: Fortune, Success and Dreams
Tuesday May 12, 2009
8:38 P.M.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have you here with me again this evening. Eventually we shall continue with our major topic of change and once again we shall be on the road to misery when we face disappointment. It is obvious that most of you still have questions on this topic. There are three things in anyone’s incarnation that you will not be certain of and depending on your restricted viewpoint can and will lead you on the road to misery.
The first is fortune. When someone views luck, money as a give all and end all the fortunes that you would hope to possess flow through your fingers as sands through an hourglass, they slip away. The disappointment that individuals have in not obtaining something is a clear indication that you are disappointed with the end result of that which you hoped to obtain. There is an old saying that one must be happy with what they have as compared to that which they want. It is clear that when one is satisfied one obtains contentment because you are not looking at something else. Good fortune is created by you. The same is true with something that is unfortunate. You create it! (Jasmine asks for clarification on the dictation and understanding that we create our own fortune and misfortune, and Frank and Stephanie give it.) Given these facts one may understand that the responsibility for not being disappointed lies with the creator. One may obtain wealth in any way and still feel that there is not enough, they are disappointed because of the fact that someone has more. The individual who lives just above the poverty line and finds a slightly better job will be satisfied with what they have since they created their good fortune. Children often find themselves in a position of praying that the examination that they are about to take is easy. Those who studied feel fortunate by the outcome of this examination. Those who believed that they studied are disappointed since their fortunes have turned against them. YOU ARE WHAT YOU CREATE. The responsibility has always rested with the individual no matter how desperate times seem.
Our second idea is success. The question here is how does one define success? If your definition is wealth, and you obtain it then you are not disappointed. Many individuals here would define success as happiness. If you enjoy your surroundings, if your simple pleasures of your existence give you comfort, if a sunset causes you to pause and wonder about the beauty that surrounds you, then of course you are successful. Each individual will have success and failure that varies from moment to moment. What you do when you are disappointed determines how far down the road to misery you go. No individual who incarnates escapes the physical plane without a series of failures. Failure itself should never be viewed as something to be avoided. It is inevitable that each of you will fail at something. How you handle that failure determines how your view of the physical plane is being shaped. Is it narrow so that you have mono-vision or is it expansive and so wide that you clearly see many paths that lead to success? Each individual always has opportunities to change their path, most however choose to go straight forward down the road to misery since their vision is clouded by envy. When one views success as obtainable one opens doors that heretofore were closed. (At this point the tape was not on, and the following section is from notes.) Even partial success allows the individual to bathe in the clear waters that nourish and surround all who inhabit the physical plane. One must notice that full success is often not obtainable since that idea leads one towards the idea of perfection which in and of itself is impossible.
Our third idea is that of dreams. One must never be afraid to dream or aspire to something greater. The question here is where do your dreams and reality meet? The child who dreams of becoming a pro-basketball player and practices routinely but only stands five feet six inches tall must learn to modify his dreams since the idea itself is not obtainable. The same is true with adults who dream of a better job but lack the internal drive to achieve that goal. These individuals do not embrace change, they are rooted in the idea of wishful thinking. They routinely say why not me? Their dreams and aspirations many times are not in touch with reality. These individuals detest the idea that they cannot have or possess something. Their goals are not realistic. Quite often these individuals are frustrated and angry at what they perceive is the world that hinders their growth. They blame others for their failures. They know that the world is against them since they place themselves in positions where they cannot succeed. These individuals often become bitter and lonely. Their social skills fall away since they cannot relate to others, they become desperate for the success that is often just out of reach.
Disappointment itself must be used correctly so that one embraces unpredictability. This in and of itself does not mean a negative idea or event. Good fortune and success are just as unpredictable as the horror of failure. The parent who is disappointed in their child’s progress at school or their child’s inability to make their team sport does not embrace the unpredictability of life itself. The child who struggles at school will at times come home with an A where heretofore a C would have been acceptable. The individual who asks for a raise since they believe that they deserve it but receives only a token does not possess the wisdom to look at himself to determine the reasons for the poor increase in salary. It is far too easy to pretend or look away from the obvious. Are you ready for the change that suddenly comes? How do you handle that change? These are the simple facts that each individual struggles with on a day-to-day basis. (This is where the tape picks back up.) Individuals who consider themselves adaptable will easily move with the winds of change that constantly flow around the human condition. These individuals enjoy the idea that there are sudden differences in their existence. They do not wander about looking for the easy way, they accept the challenges and hardships that the unpredictable nature of life itself provides.
Nothing is guaranteed to provide success; one must look for success in self instead of the event. These ideas of success, failure are often disguised in difficulties or challenges that one must overcome so that growth may occur. One can never hide from the idea that one must learn to be flexible. When you are not flexible you become rooted and grounded in a position that does not allow change. It is easy to become disappointed with the situation that moves away from you since you cannot and will not change your stance on an idea. These individuals state this is the way it was, and this is the way it must be. Unless one is able to be flexible one cannot accept the fact that they may be wrong or out of touch with the events that present themselves to you on a day-to-day basis. If one is not flexible one hinders the others around you. You do not allow for their growth and their success. You push them and yourself down the road to misery because you are disappointed by the ways in which their existence does not allow for your ideas!
When you are not flexible you tend to exclude others’ feelings. You tend to be alone and do not cherish “family” values and ideas. You tend to remove yourself for what you believe is in the best interest of others. This idea does not allow you as the individual to interact properly with the other members of your “family”. The interaction here is always one sided. You will do what is good for you and not what benefits others. These types of individuals become disappointed when others challenge their position. They are frustrated because they cannot have their own way. They become so disappointed that their anger lashes out to anyone who attempts to bring them back to the reality of “family life.” (Seth suggested here that Jasmine ask Jerry to print out this session for her to read.) It is quite difficult for these individuals to look at themselves since they see themselves as unfortunate, their success escapes them, they are mired down in dead-end positions and their dreams are always left unfulfilled. It is easy to see why these individuals are jealous of others’ social interactions since they cannot and will not bend. They believe that they are always being victimized by others. They do not see themselves as inflexible. Their battle cry is why not me; don’t I count?
In simple terms one must not create that which you do not want. The examples this evening clearly demonstrate the idea that most individuals are disappointed when they do not obtain that which they desire. Yet, these individuals never take responsibility for that which they do not do. They are jealous of others. They look at the others’ success, happiness, good fortune in a way that victimizes themselves. These individuals believe that they themselves are not worthy. Their disappointments in life may be balanced on a scale and they clearly see the weight of unhappiness that hangs heavy in their own existence. When these individuals learn to create in a proper manner and look for the beauty that is always there, they will find that their existence improves, and they do not have to be miserable by what they believe are the injustice of the court of life. These individuals will eventually come to the conclusion that they themselves are responsible for that which goes on and when they become responsible for themselves the heavy hand of unhappiness will lift.
Disappointment itself is a normal and desirable fact that each individual must face in their own way. When you handle disappointment correctly you benefit from that idea, when you do not you suffer.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:37 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Disappointment itself and change are interconnected. When one is disappointed one must be able to change. When individuals refuse to adapt to new or different situations, they have clearly placed themselves on the road to misery.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Now that you have made me upset about Bill and feel disappointed so that I feel hopeless there what should I do? (Stephanie said this in a humorous manner and Frank is laughing.)
Seth… Memorize last week and this week’s lecture. Do you realize how foolish that statement was on your part? Do you not see yourself just by your own question in today’s lecture? The answer is yes. Now you may ask your next question.
Stephanie… Could you give me statements to say to myself when I feel disappointed so that it could bring me back to center?
Seth… Disappointment and change are an integral part of the human experience. When one is disappointed one must be able to allow change to occur. If you do not, then you are surely placing yourself on the road to misery. As previously stated, disappointment is a natural idea and feeling that all who inhabit the physical plane experience. When one is disappointed as an example the failure of a child to do well in school, the husband who does not promote himself, (Seth as an aside stated, “Now read that and understand what I just said, read it out loud.” Stephanie read out loud.) one then has the opportunity to rise above the disappointment and allow oneself to be flexible enough so that change may occur.
Do you understand?
Stephanie… So, the opportunity you are speaking of is the idea that things could then turn positive, but I am not being flexible enough to allow the possibility of this to occur?
Seth… The issue here has nothing to do with you, it has to do with others. When you are not flexible enough or adaptable to change then no matter what the other does your viewpoint of their change is limited and whatever they do will be considered ineffective or wrong.
Stephanie… So, a large portion of my problem is my difficulty with allowing change?
Seth… Correct, since you fear that which you do not know.
Stephanie… You mean failure? The fear of? Or the fear of…
Seth… That which you do not know causes you to become stationary in your belief system. You are not adaptable to an idea that is contrary to your own belief system.
Are there any other questions?
Betty… I have a question that is similar. My question is about how to handle disappointment properly. If I am understanding it properly then one views disappointment as part of life that provides an opportunity for change like the Rolling Stone song you don’t always get what you want, you get what you need. (The Rolling Stones’ song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” was written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards in 1968 and released on the “Let It Bleed” album. I often think of this song when Seth brings up the want versus need concept. The reader should consider how important this concept is as it directly relates to what you create in life. Seth ends with this concept almost without exception in every session. FN)
Seth… As previously stated, disappointment is of course a part of life. It is what you do with that disappointment that matters.
Betty… When you are disappointed than it’s a signal to change or self correction is in order.
Seth… That may or may not be factual. For example, one may be disappointed in not winning the lottery. The only thing to change here is the idea that it is obvious if one truly believes they are going to win as most people who buy tickets for the lottery do since no one would go in and say, “I know I’m not going to win but I am buying one anyway.” This disappointment in not winning is obviously minor but it serves as an example of what to do with many disappointments. Do you let the disappointment control you or do you let it go? The answer is obvious. There are disappointments that will require change.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… I’m swimming a bit from this session. I’m not sure if this question was already answered. I don’t fully understand, and could you elaborate on the idea of “most individuals will find they may experience that which they desire when the desire is put into a proper context.”
Seth… And your question is?
Frank… I can see the flexibility being a partial answer but when I originally read the words, I think oh, one has to accept limits or be realistic, but I know that the statement means more than that and I would like you to elaborate on that.
Seth… The statement itself may be viewed in terms of tonight’s lecture, fortune, success, dreams, unpredictability, acceptance, flexibility and creativity all play a part in allowing one to obtain what they desire in realistic ways.
Do you understand?
Frank… One may not be able to get exactly what they desire now but by using creativity and the rest of the things that you suggest, one can create a context in which to get what you desire possibly at some point.
Seth… Possibly at some point but is your desire realistic? One must view that idea with caution.
Are there any other questions?
Arthur… The idea that good fortune is created by you and similarly something unfortunate is created by you so what happens to a baby in a crib, the baby creates that?
Seth… If one is speaking in the largest possible sense of creativity the baby creates that which it requires. If you are speaking about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome that is quite a different matter since specialized souls are there to assist in these difficult situations and the learning that occurs is for the family and not for the child. Does that answer your question?
Arthur… Creating, the baby creating what it needs, requires, is a learning experience and they require a learning experience? (Rephrased as the following.) The baby may require a learning experience?
Seth… Why are you separating that which a baby creates as compared to what an adult creates where in reality there is no difference? Remember you are not the child. A child creates in the same manner as an adult, there is no difference. You are looking at this in a linear fashion instead of realizing that you are complete when you enter the physical plane. If you were speaking about soul age and what step you are on, then an adult or baby creates according to that formula. The baby and the adult create in the same manner.
Do you understand?
Arthur… I’m not sure. If we are complete when we enter the physical plane….
Seth…. Your soul and a percentage of your power sought of speak comes with you; you are complete. What you are here for, meaning on the physical plane, is to experience that which you already know.
Arthur… So, in a sense the baby signed up for that?
Seth… My answer to you is partially true. I would suggest that you read a book by Newton, “Journey of Souls” which will give you a very basic idea of these facts.
Are there any other questions?
Seth… Before you ask that question, be careful! (I have no idea in August of 2016 what this meant back in May of 2009. I may have not then asked a question I was going to. I cannot tell from the tape. This would not have been the first time Seth would know what you were going to say and issue this type of warning to me or another student. For me it would usually involve “getting lost in the forest.” Invariably this would result in a consequence, often typing up the session. FN)
Frank… I would like some assistance in working with my patient who now believes she has multiple personality. There are two questions here. One, my understanding is that to work with her I need to focus on helping her to make friends with the other part of herself and to work as a team? Is there more to it than that?
Seth… Before embarking upon this road, one must be absolutely certain of the validity of this person’s statement. In past sessions has she described a loss of time where she blacks out and does not know how time escaped her?
Frank… No.
Seth… Has she demonstrated the idea in session with you that there are a number of personalities within her other than stating it? Have you seen any other personalities?
Frank… No, she reports it. (She reported that at times she would hit herself and that a part of her would say abusive things to her. She felt this was a separate personality. While she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and in the past with bipolar disorder the quality of this symptom was not that of a auditory hallucination.)
Seth… If she does not show it, then I doubt the validity of it. If she does not routinely report blackout periods, then I question it. I believe you are skilled enough in hypnosis that this should also be a modality of yours so that you may question this individual. I believe you have enough information. (As follow up she did not respond well to hypnosis but came to understand that she was just being extremely harsh with herself like her parents were and was not taking responsibility for that harshness. FN)
Frank… The other stuff with the book she found involving the channeler and the coincidence that she was infatuated with the soul mentioned before her knowledge of said book. Does any of this matter?
Seth… No. When one is infatuated, one tends to give credence to that which one believes is factual. We have enough on this.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Let me leave you with this. Change is a constant. Disappointment should lead back to change when necessary. When you change you will find that your needs are obvious and easily met. When you do not and are inflexible you will always be left wanting. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have you here with me again this evening. First a little housekeeping and then a question by Kaetorina. Isabella, how is your reading coming?
Isabella… “The Nature of Personal Reality”?
Seth… Yes, “The Nature of Personal Reality”. How is your reading coming?
Isabella… Not at all.
Seth… Not at all, then let us ask a question. We’ve noticed that you tend to be having some difficulties at the current point of reference, yet the nature of the book itself tends to give you answers, so by not reading it you distinctly tell the Universe but more important yourself that you need to be wanting! It is obvious to us that you should start again from the beginning. Because what have you truly incorporated into yourself? The answer is nothing. (Isabella complains about how hard the book is.) First bit of housekeeping completed.
Isabella… Is this really going to help me?
Seth… Yes, tremendously it is. (Isabella is asking if this is going to really help her in particular.) What is the name of the book?
Isabella… “The Nature of Personal Reality”. (Frank laughing.) Does it give tips and advice? I need some tangible things to do. (There is a lot of back and forth with the group and Isabella who is complaining. And there is a lot of good-natured laughing.)
Seth… And how far along have you gotten Jasmine? (Jasmine grunts.) I see you are making tremendous progress. (Group laughter.)
Jasmine… However, you told me to sit and write things down and ask questions…
Seth… Let’s ask a simple question.
Jasmine… I’m taking notes; this could take me fifty times longer.
Seth… Let’s ask a simple question before you run away: When is the last time you sat down with the book? (Jasmine indicated that it was a long time.) One for Seth! (Isabella spoke at length about the difficulty of the book and how anyone without spiritual knowledge could not possibly understand it.)
Seth… Normal people in response to Isabella’s whining statement would not start with that book. They would start with some of my beginning books. Let us continue. Kaetorina, you have a question.
Stephanie… Yes. How does disappointment lead one down the path of misery?
Seth… There is a simple fact, no one who exists on the physical plane does not suffer disappointment at various times during their incarnation. The question that arises, why if everyone suffers disappointment is this fact considered detrimental to one’s existence? One must understand that not every situation can be resolved in a profitable manner. Most often individuals will have to compromise and make allowances for events that are beyond their control. Each of you must view disappointment in a manner that allows you to move forward with your education on the physical plane. How often does one see a child who is upset because they didn’t get the candy, ice-cream cone, bicycle, or anything else that they desired? These minor disappointments are an indication of the human condition. No one exists where everything that they desire is automatically granted. Individuals must learn to accept and appreciate that which they obtain by their own creative efforts. The difficulty here is that anger and frustration fill in when individual souls believe that they do not have enough. It is the feeling of want that creates difficulty for all.
Most individuals are far too hard on themselves. They see something that is offered but it is out of their reach. Often, they become despondent over what they believe they cannot have. Self doubt clearly plays an important role in the fundamental nature of disappointment. If one looks at themselves and asks the question, am I worth it? The answer for most is a negative view of that situation. The individual who asks the question and who is enlightened states not only am I worth it, but I may obtain it by working towards that goal. Disappointment itself may be lessened by the idea of hard work. Note here that I am not saying that one may obtain everything they desire. I am stating that most individuals will find that they may experience that which they desire when that desire is put into a proper context.
When one is not satisfied one looks for reasons to criticize themselves because of the fact that there is a void that they create so that they may languish in misery. Fear is an important factor in relationship to the idea of disappointment. When an individual worries about obtaining something you are sending out negative messages to the universe because you are clearly stating that you yourself are not worth it. So, the question arises, how does one break the pattern of doing something that you instinctively know is detrimental to your own well-being and to your relationship issues with others? The pattern is broken by first understanding that you may have and obtain that which you desire by working towards your specific goal. The idea of saying I know this is wrong means little to most individuals who are disappointed in themselves. The difficulty here is to understand that the road to misery is littered with the carcasses of individuals who pity themselves.
Frank… What do you mean by I know this is wrong?
Seth… What the individual knows is wrong is the fact that by pitying themselves they only place themselves in an unenviable position of loss. That loss is of course self-respect. They are never satisfied with the outcome of an event even when it seems profitable to others. They find fault with the most miniscule deviations from perfection.
One must realize that your incarnations are like waves on an ocean, they rise and fall. When you are rising toward great heights the world itself seems wonderful but as you reach the top of the wave and look down you see only disappointment because you know you cannot stay on top forever. As you start your downward slide the world itself seems bleak and dreary. Nowhere in your frame of reference do you allow for recovery. Individuals once they are at the bottom of the wave often become so despondent that as they start rising again, they cannot face the next downward slide. The disappointment of not being on top causes these individuals to detest themselves and some unfortunately end their own incarnations since they are so disappointed in that which they are that they choose not to move further along. To eliminate these types of disappointments one must come to realize the simplest of all ideas, where there is up there must be down. Where there is good there must also be bad. When there is happiness, one must face sadness. These facts must always be brought forth so that prosperity may be present in any situation.
One must always give yourself a gift and that gift simply put is that it is perfectly acceptable to be disappointed in yourself as well as another. If one is disappointed in themselves, one must learn not to be too harsh. One of the great gifts that you may give yourself is the idea that you are not perfect and that you will work towards correcting that which disappoints you. The individual who is too heavy may choose to learn new eating habits. The individual who is selfish must learn to share. The individual who is fearful of past hurts must learn to appreciate and trust others again. These factors are obvious to the casual observer but immensely difficult for the individual who suffers the disappointment of day-to-day existence. It is clear that these individuals must re-learn the love of self.
If you do not love yourself your world is full of disappointments. You do not enjoy the sunshine. You do not appreciate the rain. You only see difficulties that flow towards you as a never-ending river of unhappiness passes by your doorstep. A simple exercise here will help these individuals move into the light that they so desperately seek. One must sit down and meditate on their own self-worth. What have you done to improve your situation as well as another’s? What do you give freely that assists others? Each individual will of course have a different response to these questions yet moving into the sunlight will allow you to love yourself so that you will not feel disappointed by the constant repetition of your own errors. It is the repetition and the fear of failing or being hurt that causes individuals to feel disappointed in the world around them.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:27 PM)
Let us continue: The idea of learning to love oneself must be placed at the forefront of things to do to eliminate the downward spiral of disappointment. When one does not enjoy themselves for whatever reason one must understand that the disappointments you have are magnified by your own inability to function in a profitable manner. If you do not love yourself, it is obvious that you will be disappointed on a routine basis by all those who surround you.
Jasmine… How does not loving yourself tie into being disappointed? Why does disappointment in others, I mean I could see disappointment in self… (There was much more here that was stated in efforts to form a question.) If you don’t love yourself, why would it be upsetting if lets say your son doesn’t call you?
Isabella… Can I answer that? You’re disappointed in the other because you expect that they are going to make you happy and when they can’t fulfill the expectation that you have you feel that they let you down. If you felt good about yourself the phone call wouldn’t even matter.
Seth… Jasmine, let us ask a simple question which I will give the answer. It is true that commonly you look to someone else to repair, fix or satisfy that which you desire, however it is not possible for these individuals to assist you with this since the only repair must come from you. You would be far better served if you would read and re-read these sessions during the days between our meetings.
When individuals choose not to assist themselves, they become disappointed in the other’s inability to help. This disappointment leads to anger since they are frustrated with the results that they themselves have created. If one loved themselves, one then chooses to take responsibility for their own creations. They choose to make themselves responsible for that which they are! One should not get the idea that these individuals who take responsibility for themselves are always content. These individuals instinctively understand that the rise and fall of events allows them to learn and experience new challenges that they would not have if they abdicated their own sense of creativity. One must learn that the love of self allows you to prosper even in the face of adversity. The most difficult situations will have a successful outcome when you prosper with negative lines of study. This does not mean that you will participate fully in a negative line of study. It means you will observe it and learn from it thereby avoiding the consequences of participating in that line of study.
Frank… Can you give an example?
Seth… The answer is simple. Our friend Frank is fearful about being tossed out of Seth sessions because of his inability or should I say unwillingness to learn to think for himself. The individual must understand that it is perfectly acceptable to fail and disappointment there is a profitable idea. What is not acceptable is the idea that failure brings disaster. It does not!
If you do not love yourself, you cannot be satisfied. If you are not satisfied you will always hunger for something more, yet you can never be full. Disappointment is a normal inhabitant of the human psyche. It is there so you may benefit from the ideas that surround you. One cannot find perfection; one may only hope to approach it.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Does the idea of balance have any influence on what goes up must come down and if it does how come some people seem to exist in one way for sixty years before they experience the other while other people repeatedly are faced with the ups and downs routinely?
Seth… The idea of balance itself is a tripod. You remember this? One foot in the physical plane, there is one foot in spiritual realm and what is the third?
Frank… Mind?
Seth… In your own intellect. (For Stephanie typing 🙂 in your own mind. The idea of balance that you have created by your question clearly indicates a lack of understanding about the idea of time. Since time itself does not exist as you know it, it matters not whether someone has spent five minutes or five hundred years working toward a solution. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes, I do, I was looking at it linearly.
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… I was just confused about, I mean I understand the five hundred years, five minutes but it is a whole life. You know I’m thinking about Madoff here. He’s experiencing one reality in years here then he doesn’t have much “time” to have balance with that. How come…
Seth… Yes. In response to Kaetorina’s question about Mr. Madoff. Because he spent numerous years in wealth how does this balance what is going on with his existence today? The answer is simple, pain, unhappiness, difficulties are the negative sides of the enjoyment that he previously had. Again, crippling pain may last but moments and that is enough to balance years of happiness. However, his fear of being found out was nothing but an unhappy fragment of his existence.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… I want to use as an example of my recent attempt to begin a divorced dad’s group. There were no takers. My question is how does one learn where the failure lies?
Seth… Your idea of failure is interesting because something did not work in the way in which you would have liked it to does not mean that it was a failure!
Are there any other questions?
Frank… One of the things I was wondering because I discovered I was ambivalent about doing the project is that what there was to learn, is that the success?
Seth… When one is ambivalent about anything one cannot measure success at all since you don’t care. The success is in the understanding that you didn’t really care and therefore in truth one cannot be disappointed.
Are there any other questions?
Arthur… I started with a question about my client Mona in terms of her fantasies about me and how to help her. When, as you spoke, as we dealt with this topic more it occurs to me that one way of looking at those fantasies is that she can’t love herself and therefore she feels she needs me to do it for her. Have I gotten that?
Seth… Correct.
In order to save Kaetorina’s fingers I will leave you with this: Disappointment is natural, and one should expect to find it often. It is how you handle disappointment that will allow you to fulfill your needs and lessen your wants. A hearty good evening to all and more on our road to misery next time.
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you here with me this evening, Kaetorina, you have a question.
Stephanie… Yeah, how does being judgmental put you on the road to misery?
Seth… Before we go into that we shall deal with a small bit of housekeeping. First welcome to our newcomer. (Today’s visitor was my friend and a neighbor, Rick who is a writer.) Second, for our friend Frank, I hope you have started to incorporate some of my suggestions that may be found in our anniversary issue into your way of life. I hope you enjoyed your cake and ate it too.
Now from our major subject of Change we have embarked upon the road to misery. We had had a small discussion with Kaetorina and from that discussion I stated that she should ask a question on judgment. Now the simple idea of judgment may be stated as the act of deciding something. Far too many individuals judge others by their own standards. When one does not accept the values that another possesses it is obvious that you are acting in a judgmental value system that is detrimental not only to you but to others as well. An example here, religious individuals often persecute others who believe differently since there thought patterns clearly state that if “my God” is right than your God must be wrong. This simple concept of judging has destroyed more individuals, countries, marriages, friendships than anything else.
When one defines anything by their own standards one eliminates the possibility that the other has a right to their own belief system. Victimization here is obvious since the other is prevented from enjoying their own creativity. When one decides that they are correct in a positive fashion the tendency here is to promote the other in numerous ways that allows growth and prosperity for all those involved. The opposite of course is true when judgmental values are put in place that hinder another’s growth. It is simple to understand the victimization role in these events. When an individual does not allow another to express themselves in a manner of their own choosing the limitations on creative abilities clearly restrict physical plane growth as well as spiritual growth. Individuals who are restricted in their growth become embittered and lash out against others! These individuals lash out since they have no outlet for their true feelings. Examples here of murderers who for no apparent reason destroy innocent victims are too numerous to mention. These type of individuals feel restricted…
Jasmine… Who, the murderers?
Seth… No, the victims feel restricted since they have no outlet for their feelings and seek to victimize others in the same way that they themselves have been victimized. They judge others by standards that they have learned in childhood. It should be apparent that the parent who abuses the child was indeed abused and judged unfairly by their own parents.
When anger strikes individuals who are restricted, they fall prey to themselves, they withhold feelings about what is going on with others. They are silent and often do not speak to the offender or to friends about their difficulties. These individuals judge themselves as having no rights and no privileges. They suffer in silence because many are afraid to deal with their own feelings since they cannot trust anyone, including themselves, to act in a fair and just manner. These individuals are truly alone since they cannot communicate with anyone, at best their friendships are superficial and they lack confidence even to perform the simplest of tasks. These individuals constantly ask questions, often foolish ones just to hear the sound of their own voice. They do not appreciate their own intelligence in fact for many they fear being “smart”. They do this so that they do not have to excel and can sit quietly in the background being quiet and alone. These individuals are judged by your society as loners. They are often excluded from social situations since they lack the fundamental social graces. Some of these individuals take an opposite tack. They are loud, boisterous if you will, many are self centered and cannot hear even the simplest criticism without an explosion of feelings. Simply put, they are very volatile individuals.
One method to lessen the effects of being judged is to step backward from anger just as a parent will give a small child a “time out” one must learn to give themselves time to reflect upon that which troubles you. A simple question here, how effective can your thought processes be when you are truly angry? Is it not factual that you are frustrated and have difficulty in making even the simplest of decisions? One must step away and allow “time” to pass before you go ahead and judge an event. When one allows themselves to observe instead of react to a situation you give yourself freedom to think. When you judge harshly you do not allow yourself the luxury of thought, you just react. It should be noted here that you react in the same manner that you react to all similar situations. I have stated that with every challenge or opportunity that you face one must always approach that challenge as if it was the first time you had faced that challenge. Far too many individuals who have difficulty in their incarnation react first and think later. Marriages fail since each side in the marriage constantly reacts in the same way. There is a lack of communication between both sides and their true feelings are hidden under a mountain of past experiences that dirty the waters and prevent a clear and satisfying drink of enlightenment. No individual who does not step away from anger succeeds with quick judgmental values since those values themselves often lead to the victimization of self and others.
One must change the way that you relate to others. My old question remains, is there a possibility that I may be wrong? If I am incorrect, how do I go about finding a new path? If I am acting in a judgmental manner that does not benefit others where and why have I taken this path? Each of you relates to the others in your play with certain defined characteristics that enable you to function on various levels. The difficulty here is to determine what you require and balance what you require with that of the other. One does not walk a tightrope with their eyes shut and with music blaring in their ears. You do not function in life with these restrictions, yet most individuals do. They do so since they judge the other without the benefit of kindness. One cannot relate to another without first relating to themselves. The old expression is quite factual, do unto others as you would have done to you. Anger, hatred, judgmental values limit your prospects of finding true freedom. Most individuals put themselves in “jail”. They are locked into a specific set of actions that often limit their possible response to any given situation. These individuals believe that they are always correct and have little tolerance for others.
Judge not lest ye be judged comes from the idea that is presented every year in the Judeo/ Christian value set of Passover and Easter. The values here of openness, freedom must become paramount in the way in which you relate to others. You will find that if you are open and fair to yourself others will treat you in a manner that is beneficial to your prosperity.
I believe we shall take a break. (9:45)
Let us continue: Judgments themselves should be based upon keen observation of any situation. One must be careful not to indulge in wishful thinking. Never project one’s own ideas upon any situation since it is impossible to untangle the web of deceit that you yourself have created. Are there any questions?
Rick… What is meant by the deceit that apparently you are saying is feeding, projecting one’s ideas?
Seth… One must look at the idea of deceit as something that is untrue, to be hidden if you will. When the idea, the web of deceit that you create are the values that many individuals project on to others so they can justify their own actions. They conjure up imagined problems and difficulties, lies if you will that the other is “responsible for.” Do you understand?
Rick… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… I have question from last week. Quoting from last session, “Each individual must learn to step aside and remove the clutter so that others may prosper.” I don’t know what that means. I’d like you to explain that further.
Seth… If you will imagine that you have a room and in that room you have some furniture and from this room you have a passage way that connects let us say the kitchen to the dining room to your den. And since the dining room is the middle room, you have some furniture in it. It is simple if there is not too much furniture to pass from kitchen through the dining room to your den. Let us now add a breakfront and the passage becomes slightly more difficult. Let us add more chairs and the passage becomes more difficult. Let us add an extra table and the passage becomes more difficult. Let us add three or four large boxes that contain dishes, and the passage becomes more difficult. Every time you add another item the path that you must travel becomes increasingly difficult. After a while you yourself cannot pass from one room to the next. It is obvious that the others in your household will have great difficulty in finding free movement. Therefore, it becomes necessary to remove the clutter to assist others. In doing so you give freedom for others to pass through on their own specific journey. Yes, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Are all these items that have been added to the passage problems and baggage one person in the family may have are things that block the other’s growth? That’s what it is? Okay.
Seth… Clearly, but it is not only blocking their growth, but blocks your own as well in fact one must come to the conclusion that it blocks your growth first and affects others in a different manner.
Frank… Particularly within because it’s your clutter, your reactions to others? I (Seth is shaking Jerry’s head no.) No? See this is where I get lost.
Seth… No, your reaction first to yourself.
Frank… No, that I understood earlier in the session. This particular passage is referring to others.
Seth… When you clutter up a passageway with what you deem as important, are you not affecting others if they must pass through that passageway?
Frank… This clutter is internal.
Seth… Whether it be internal or external clearly matters not. It matters not since it affects all the same way.
Jasmine… Well, here it says (quoting from last session,) “victimization in any form produces scars and creates a void within the self as well as the other.”
Seth… You have your answer. Now… it is obvious that my lectures cause individuals to read and reread material. It is useless for information to be so obvious that the receiver of information already understands it. If an individual finds the information so basic that it challenges them not, then the information itself is useless. One must always be challenged if growth is to occur. When one says, “I know that!” The tendency is that the individual who makes the statement stops listening. They do not create that which they require for continued growth. In other words, the material itself is not profitable. You cannot grow unless you are forced to think, unless you challenge yourself to become greater than what you were. Information that is so simple and therefore mundane does not challenge.
Jasmine… Are you saying that I am finding this simple?
Seth… Not at all.
Jasmine… I am really lost
Frank… Your concept that you would retain more information by not writing the session down…
Jasmine… Right.
Frank… is saying that you could retain the information better auditory as opposed to the information you would end up retaining after writing it down and perhaps reading it once or twice. So, your premise is faulty that listening, “If I could just listen then I would get it.” It’s not that simple to just get it from one listening.
Jasmine… Something I said just now?
Frank… That’s what you said before.
Jasmine… Yes, I said that before.
Frank… Right, this is partially addressing that. (There was more that was not quite audible but it reinforced the difficulty of the material and the fact made clearer throughout the years that writing and reading and rereading the material was necessary for us to be able to understand and retain a significant portion of it. F.N)
Frank… One more question. So, if part of my clutter is torturing myself…
Seth… Who is the largest clutterer that you know?
Frank…. Besides self?
Seth… You… you are the greatest clatterer of them all!
Frank… Yes, I understand that.
Seth… Who is responsibility for creativity?
Frank… Me. (There was a pause as Stephanie was typing and trying to get dictation correct.)
Jasmine… Aren’t we all our own greatest clutters?
Seth… Not necessarily.
Frank, looking puzzled. (Grouplaughter.)
Frank… So, if torturing myself is clutter it affects the other because I’m not available to them or too wrapped up in my self-torture to deal with the other?
Seth… When one prevents a fair exchange of values by limiting growth you are judging not only what you may learn but you judge what another may learn as well. You do this by limiting an exchange of information. Quite often you cause yourself to follow a technique instead of understanding how to apply the technique and use that information appropriately. You concentrate on the technique and not on the information that may be gained by using that technique. Do you understand?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… Before I give you the microphone many of your questions are wrapped in clouds, you hide from the question itself therefore we will need a specific and clearly stated question without bias on your part.
Arthur… Can you tell me where the bias is in the cloud?
Seth… That is the bias, you are restricting that which you choose to relate.
Arthur… When the abused expresses anger that victimizes other. When the abused withholds anger that restricts self, creates a void in self and perhaps also to others.
Seth… Each way can affect. Do not define one is for the other and one is for self because in reality they are both the same.
Arthur… So even though I have experienced my withholding of anger as an attempt not to victimize the other that is not factual?
Seth… When you do that, you first victimize yourself because you are not expressing that which you require, you victimize the other because you are not allowing yourself to explain the difficulties you had with the other.
Arthur… So, what would be more profitable is to create a thirst to express yourself in a fair and just manner.
Seth… Correct. Are there any other questions
Rick… As I take all of this in, I have a very strong feelings that this information is very relevant to my life and to my wife and to struggles that we are both having. These particular observations are so acutely directed at how she directs her life with me and me to her. So, am I deflecting because it is like this endless circle because I actually do feel I am avoiding pitfalls in terms of being judgmental?
Seth… If you look at your question, highly judgmental.
Rick… That’s where the endless circle comes in because… By taking it in, observing and thinking as objectively as possible, how can you not have a judgment about what you are hearing?
Seth… If you remember earlier in this evening’s lecture I clearly stated that every challenge and opportunity must be faced and looked at as if they were new and it happens for the first time. Both you and your wife Jaime are approaching the same problems in the same way. And as you have stated clearly you are going around and around and around in a circle. The more you keep doing this the greater anger it becomes. I believe there is something I have talked about called the Triad Personality. I believe our friend Frank has the notes to give you on that and it will clearly demonstrate what you are doing. I suggest that you both learn to speak to each other and express your wants, needs and desires and have her do the same. Remember you cannot succeed unless you both compromise. I believe that is what is lacking here, the ability to compromise. Both of you need to understand what the other is saying, in fact neither of you does.
Let me leave you with this. One must prosper by learning to judge fairly. When you do, your needs will be met your wants lessened and the sunshine that is hidden behind clouds of despair will start shining through.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have you all here again with me this evening. Frank what are your subjects?
Frank… The topics are poor self esteem and victimization.
Seth… Before we get into either subject other than the celebration of our 400th session. Frank, what do you believe was the purpose of my asking you to select a topic?
Frank… I wasn’t completely sure, but I did think about it. I thought it was to move me out of the pattern of not taking any kind of risk or avoiding thinking for myself. And I thought a large part…
Seth… Stop there. In actuality the purpose of the exercise was to prove to you that you have allowed yourself to fall by the wayside when it comes to creativity itself. In reality you spent most of the three weeks torturing yourself and not listening to the man through whom I speak and Kaetorina when they consistently tried to push you back on a correct path. This exercise clearly demonstrates one of the primary reasons that you get lost in the forest. You become so overwhelmed with the idea that for you, knowledge and being complete in what you do challenges the very essence of your creativity patterns. I have purposely left the microphone off since future listeners need not hear these comments. Frank, you must guard against giving up to be correct. You would have found the exercise easier if you had just taken the effort to provide yourself with the knowledge that it mattered not what you said. When you reflect upon this session it will become obvious that both your topics were in great portion supplied to you by others in various forms. (Actually, it seems that the microphone was not shut off and the comments above are left here to show the reader that those of us at the table all struggled with various growth issues. Some of us more than others! F.N.)
Seth… Under our heading of Change On The Road To Misery we shall look at the idea of victimization. If one victimizes another the reality is that you also victimize yourself. I have stated previously that the void and the scarring that one creates when you victimize another is always there for the victim as well as the individual who sought to do harm to the other. An example here let us, in a hypothetical example, use the idea that one’s child is going to be harmed by another individual. You as the parent have it within your power at this precise point of reference to kill this individual. You do so obviously, victimizing our first soul but the void and the scars you leave behind will affect you for lifetimes to come.
Remember here that you were completely justified in your actions. The police would not even charge you with a crime yet you have made your own jail and will suffer because of your actions. Note that I am not saying that you should not save your child. I am saying that you will pay a price, and a heavy one at that for your actions. (In 2016 the issue of gun control is even more polarizing than in the past. The idea that rejoining violence with violence even when protecting a loved one exacts a price is not even a consideration in the debate. Not acting, as the reader will see has its own complications. F.N.)
Stephanie… What would that soul be working on then if this was the most major event in their life?
Seth… It may not have been a major event at all. It may have been a small portion of that soul’s existence that was brought to the forefront of their incarnation by the play of the person of who you killed and or your child.
Jasmine… But their suffering?
Seth… Most of these individuals faced with this type of situation often retreat within themselves since they fear that their actions have caused them to look at a negative line of study that was unwarranted and unnecessary. Again, this is clearly evident with soldiers who feel guilty when their friend has died in battle. Their creativity patterns circulate around the idea of why not me? Why do I deserve to be left alive?
Frank… Wouldn’t the result be the same if the man took no action and the child was killed by the original person?
Seth… Inaction does not produce the same response as action. One could find fault with themselves by saying if I had been quicker, smarter, stronger I could have prevented this. That is a victimization of self and not of another.
Frank… But you were the cause possibly?
Seth… Inaction is not a cause. When one does nothing to either help someone else or to assist themselves, it is not possible to victimize another. You may find fault with your actions by being afraid or fearful. You may see a wanting when looking backward upon any specific event. Inaction has its own set of problems. One must learn to eliminate the clutter that surrounds most individuals who inhabit the physical plane. Again, our example with our friend Frank clearly shows the clutter that he involves himself with when trying to make difficult decisions. Do or do not is a simple method of removing obstacles from your path. One finds themselves on the road to misery when the clutter becomes paramount in your moment-to-moment existence. When one fears a decision, you are in reality preventing yourself from succeeding. These individuals look at events and try to find every point of information that they can. They constantly revisit an event. They outline various forms of action or inaction. In doing so they create mountainous obstacles that they have to overcome in order to see what their true path should be. A decision is a simple matter but for most individuals they agonize over which portion of the decision is correct. Do or don’t do, succeed or fail, correct or incorrect are the choices that individuals believe they have to make.
In reality the only decision that matters is whether one does something and creates what they choose or abdicates their responsibility to themselves thereby accomplishing nothing. When one victimizes themselves, they become fearful of even making the slightest error. These individuals are unforgiving since they fear being found out as an individual who is lacking even on the simplest of terms. Other individuals victimize others since they know their own weakness prevents them from even looking at themselves. They become so angry since they believe that others will take what they have because they “know” that they will never have enough. These individuals are always empty; they are afraid because they do not enjoy the sunshine of existence.
Unfortunately, many individuals waste lifetimes on hating someone or something. These individuals hate others who are a different color; they detest others who are worshippers of a religion that is not theirs. These individuals feel victimized by their lack of prosperity. These types of souls do not fit in with anyone or any group that does not measure up to their ideal. Their hatred is so consuming that they would rather end their own incarnation than see another succeed. Victimization in any form produces scars and creates a void within the self as well as the other. Hate groups abound when times are difficult. It is far easier to blame another than it is to promote your own well-being. No one exists on the physical plane without learning to promote the general good. Each individual must learn to step aside, remove the clutter so that others may prosper. Far too many individuals look at the idea of perfection as the end result of their desires.
Perfection itself should never be perceived as an attainable goal. In fact, the idea of perfection should be left on this page and never again be sought after. Imperfection is the driving force that will allow you to learn, to grow, to prosper in whatever endeavor you choose. The old statement is true, one learns from their mistakes. You are here on the physical plane to feel and to experience that which you already know. The experience that you gain becomes apparent when you are not perfect. I’ve stated on numerous occasions that the greatest gift a parent can give a child is to let that child fail. My gift to all of you is to allow you to overcome whatever obstacles you find in your path. The road to misery is fraught with danger. Victimization is one of its obstacles.
I believe we shall take a break. (9:22 PM)
Seth… Let us continue: The idea of perfection for many is a goal that when looked at drives individuals to unrealistic expectations of self and others. Many individuals are so unforgiving that they tend to make jokes about the failings of others. The parent who says to the child you only got a 97 on your examination what happened to the other three points is a victimizer. The employer who chastises his underlings for not getting the perfect contract is a victimizer. The man who demands sexual satisfaction from a woman is a victimizer. These individuals seek perfection from others knowing full well that they themselves fall short in every aspect of their own existence. These type of individuals force others to do their bidding. I’m paying you so you better perform adequately. If you loved me you would do this for me. How can I depend upon you when you don’t make an attempt to try is the message that these individuals give.
There is nothing that exists on the physical plane that approaches perfection yet there are many who insist upon the idea that perfection is what one needs to achieve in order to be satisfied with their performance or another’s on any kind of challenge. Many of these individuals try to examine every aspect of a question out of fear that they themselves have on that specific subject. They fear that they will miss something, that they will overlook some aspect of the opportunity and the challenge that they have been presented with. Please note that I am not saying that one should become lackadaisical or attempt to find the easy way out of any challenge. Period. What I am saying is that one must strive to understand the challenge in as many ways as practically possible. By this I mean one must attempt to understand the intricacies of the situation itself. In doing so you open yourself up for success that will allow your own creative patterns to enrich your being. It is not necessary to understand every aspect of a problem. It is necessary to understand that you may always come back to that problem and restudy that which you believe you have missed or misunderstood.
Are their any questions?
Frank… So going back to the original example, the man is going to hurt your child. If you are seeking to solve that situation….
Seth… Is there a correct solution to the problem so you may escape the problem without any aftermath…
Frank… By killing the person.
Seth… Or doing nothing. Without any aftermath for either your actions or inaction is there a solution to that problem? The answer to that is simply, no. I use this example because there is no good answer. It is equivalent for me attempting to have you give me the exact numerical value of pie.
Frank… So essentially in that situation you do the best you can do.
Seth… That is correct.
(Our friend Frank asked if he could take a picture or two of Seth and he said fine.)
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I’m curious about with Bill if he is taking action to try to find a new job but his feelings about self are negative and doesn’t feel worth anything good how does the universe receive this mixed message where there is action but self esteem problem?
Seth… The answer to that is quite simple if you look at something but don’t like yourself how good or how profitable can you make that something? The law of attraction here clearly reflects that an individual who does not like themselves enough will always be left wanting.
Stephanie… Then what good is the action portion?
Seth… The action part of the question causes the universe to take notice of what you desire. It is the belief in self that will allow you to stop victimizing yourself so that you may achieve that which you desire.
Stephanie… Okay, so right now all of Bill’s actions are for naught?
Seth… I’m sorry to disagree. He is setting in motion waves of energy that will allow him to succeed should he change his attitude. Remember he may be offered a position that may be barely acceptable with this type of attitude but will not be offered the ideal position should his viewpoints and attitudes be changed to a more positive nature.
Stephanie… So it is almost like he is practicing the actions of…
Seth… Foolish question leave it go. It’s not practicing, it’s stating what he needs.
Stephanie… Oh, so it goes nowhere because you are talking about the idea that things have to coincide…
Seth… I did not say it goes nowhere. I clearly stated that!
Stephanie… Right so but what I am saying is things have to be balanced so words, you know…
The idea of balance when asking or attraction something is the idea of perfection. The idea of perfection is impossible. There is always some part of you or any soul for that matter that questions, that has difficulty with something and that idea of perfection limits what you obtain. Stephen limits himself out of fear since he believes that he himself is not worth it. Do you understand?
Stephanie…. So until he feels worth it there won’t be anything that comes his way?
Seth… Again, you are so intent upon success that you did not understand my previous statements. The question arises what is success? In this situation is success leaving his firm and finding a new job or is success leaving his firm and finding a superb position? The answer to that depends upon his viewpoints. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes. So until he feels worth it there won’t be anything that comes his way.
Seth… Again, you are so intent upon success that you did not understand my previous statements. The question arises what is success? In this situation is success leaving his firm and finding a new job? Or is success leaving his firm and finding a superb position? The answer to that depends upon his viewpoints. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… I think your question has been answered. Frank?
Frank… If I would like to begin to work with clients utilizing the point of power exercise what do I need to do?
Seth… What do you believe you should do? If you decide what you should do you will have to make the decision to do or not to do. If I give you the answer what useful purpose does it serve? The answer is…
Frank… I understand.
Seth… The answer is none. It serves no useful purpose at all. You’re not asking about a technique you are asking about what do I do. If you are doing something and have a question about what you are doing I can help you correct it if you are doing something that is not beneficial.
Frank… I kept the question short to keep it short. If I tell what I think I should do then you can help me.
Seth… Do it first.
Frank… I need to do it first?
Seth… You need to do it first.
Frank… I will do it first and then I’ll ask.
Seth… Correct, you must learn to think. This exercise for this evening clearly showed that you abdicate thinking. This exercise for this evening clearly showed that you abdicate your thinking and creativity.
Is there anything else?
Arthur… Can you give me any more information about the experience that I heard this name Hedalia that I have some ideas about? I thought…
Seth… What are your ideas?
Arthur… Something that came up in a healing that was being done on me by a Brennan (Barbara Brennan is a well know energy healer and author.) person and we were working on an early instance of victimization and I asked for a change in the way she was doing it and asked for that person’s higher self to come in and I got that name Hedalia. The next couple days later when I was meditating about it and asked for information I got a whole different figure. The first figure was female, the second figure was male and I took on… I began to say words in a language I didn’t know.
Seth… And?
Arthur… I’m just curious or interested. I don’t know I guess I am wondering whether, why I connect this with Hedalia or what…
Seth… Why would you connect two separate events when they have no connection?
Arthur… Because I was meditating about to get information about Hedalia and that’s the result that came so I’m wondering if that…
Seth… They are not connected.
Arthur… Right, how do I learn about either these…
Seth… By meditating.
Arthur… To continue to ask for information?
Seth… Of course.
Arthur… (Laughing, said something about not being sure how to evaluate what messages she was getting)
Seth… That’s again that is your perception and the more you work with your perceptions the better you will become. (Seth then directed Stephanie to type the following.) You have to work with your perceptions to strengthen her ties to the male and female souls that came through.
Arthur… I’m getting a lot of different souls coming through.
Seth… No problem there. Some could be spiritual guides, some may be part of your higher-self, some may be various other souls that you have encountered upon your travels.
Arthur… So if it interests I just ask for more information.
Seth… Correct. Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this. Before I give my final summation, Arthur, one of your great difficulties is that you are afraid to open yourself to the possibility that you can forgive and allow yourself the luxury of moving ahead easily. A great deal of your problems occur because you become mired down in fear and one must look at that. One must make a decision do I stay with where I am or do I move to higher ground.
Arthur… I certainly waffle but have I not made some decisions (Not clear but the idea was that of am I making progress?)
Seth… You’re moving towards the area.
Let me leave you with this: Victimization, scars whether you be the victimizer or the victim one must aim for perfection knowing full well that one can never achieve it. Eliminate the clutter. Remove hate from your path. You will walk away from the road to misery by allowing your needs to be fulfilled and your wants lessened. A profitable evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We will do a little bit of housekeeping first. To our friend Frank, he wanted something special to be done for our 400th session. I am putting you basically in charge of this session. You will formulate under our topic of change and the ways to misery a series of at least two topics, preferably three topics for discussion. You will speak with Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak so that your plan will be formulated.
Frank… So, the idea of a camera and cake isn’t good enough! (Lots of laughs)
Seth… No, it is not.
Seth… Let us continue. Under our subject of Change, we are still dealing with the idea of pathways to misery. Tonight, we will speak about jealousy. Now we need first of all we shall go around the room and give a working definition of what your idea of jealousy is. Betty, what is your idea of jealousy?
Betty… To hold an idea or perception that another has about I guess something that you desire. I don’t know…
Seth… Okay, that’s fine. George?
George… Jealousy is (Seth instructed George to speak loudly and clearly.) wanting to be something that you are not that you perceive someone else to be.
Frank… Jealousy is envy. It is seeing what someone else has, feeling that it is difficult or impossible for you to possess that and you’re angry at the person who you see has what you want.
Seth… Jasmine?
Marilyn… I agree with everything everyone has said so far but I think another emphasis has to be placed on the self feeling inadequate. I mean that is the first part of it. Because if you felt content and complete you would not be looking at others with jealous eyes. Jealousy is a toxic and destructive emotion.
Isabella… I’m actually having a really hard time coming up with a definition for jealousy. Um, I’m viewing jealousy in two different ways after hearing what everyone was saying. One is wanting what someone else has that you don’t and the other, I don’t even really know how to put this into words, the idea of being jealous that somebody is… relationship jealousy. That maybe someone else wants or desires the person you’re with or jealous of a potential relationship that they have or will have. Am I making sense?
Stephanie… I see jealousy as reflected in the idea that the grass is greener and all the destructive emotions that go along with this premise.
Seth… One other thing I would like to call to your attention. Jealousy demands loyalty without question from another! The idea of why can’t I have it too permeates a large portion of your planet. The souls that inhabit this small corner of the universe look around and ask why can’t I have that too? Most of your wars have been fought over this concept. Hundreds of millions of lives have ended due to the foolishness of the individuals who possess this belief system. If you cannot have it but desire it, you are left with want. Your anger increases and the desire to seek revenge upon another becomes all important. A clear example of this may be seen as the hatred against the United States because they are perceived as the country that has. (Stephanie had difficulties with typing and negotiating the computer and Seth assisted her with that.) The souls who inhabit this country are perceived as the victimizers of the world at large. Many souls throughout the world desperately try to ruin the United States out of jealousy for what they do not have.
When one is jealous of anything you are not one with self. You have literally given yourself over to the desire to possess. These individuals demand unswerving loyalty from others. They become enraged at others even for the slightest miscalculations on their part.
Isabella… The unswerving loyalty is that an unrealistic expectation that they have?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… So even spouses can have unswerving loyalty?
Seth… No one should have unswerving loyalty. You are demanding that. If you are so loyal to another that means you are not your own person. You have put your entire creativity into the hands of another. When you put yourself in a position that demands from another exceed the possibility of providing you with that type of loyalty both parties become angry and unreasonable. Why didn’t you back me up which is followed by the idea of how could you demand that of me? Each one of these individuals is frustrated by their own inability to obtain that which they desire!
Isabella… This is where jealousy is getting muffled in my head. I understand that jealousy is the desire to want something that you don’t have but in the incident that happened yesterday withTommy I was jealous but it wasn’t over something I didn’t have.
Seth… Of course you were angry by what you did not have. You did not have what you perceived was his one hundred percent loyalty to you. When these other women were “coming on” to your roommate you became angry with him because he did not tell these individuals to go away. You took this incident as “proof” of his disloyalty to you. You became envious of his actions. You did not enjoy seeing him in that light. What you set up as well as anyone else who is in that position was a competition between you and them.
Isabella… It was more their actions that were upsetting me than his actions. He wasn’t really doing anything.
Seth… You have just stated that he was not really doing anything it was them, clearly proves my point. You were bothered by their actions yet, you detested his lack of action towards these individuals and that led to anger on both parts.
Isabella… But was I overreacting?
Seth… There are many ways that one can act in these types of situations since you have great difficulty in accepting criticism your jealous nature and your desire to possess someone else causes you to become defensive and protective of that which you perceive as yours. It should be noted here that while we are using this incident as a framework for our discussion the larger sense of this clearly demonstrates aspects of jealousy that pertain to all souls.
It is impossible to obtain wisdom when you seek to possess another. Every individual must be given the freedom to express themselves as they see fit. If that expression is a desire to obtain money, so be it. If that expression is itself destructive you have the right to answer that individual in a suitable manner. When you are envious, or jealous of another for whatever the reason how effective can you be with the idea of self expression?
One of the ways to misery is to judge others by what they have or what they do. When you observe another, you instinctively make judgments about this individual. You define them in many ways. What are their clothes like? Where do they live? What is the color of their skin? How much money do they have? What is their religion? What is their nationality? These are questions that most individuals never ask in fact these questions are rarely thought of. They lie under the surface of the sea waiting to be pulled out by whatever means necessary. How many times has a Jewish person been thought of as cheap? How many times has an Irish individual been disliked by an Italian? Is it not known that most Irish people drink to excess? Isn’t it true that Scottish individuals are very frugal? One could go on and on and make a list of questions that are under the raging waters that surround every individual. When one judges others on an unseen level by words that are unspoken, by thoughts that are never proven, by sounds that are never heard how accurate can your judgments be? (This is being edited in 2016 as we are coming to the end of the Obama presidency and yet issues of race are as important as ever. The movement “Black Lives Matter” is in the news in response to the shootings of black men by white police. More subtly there are questions in the media around the lack of understanding between the races and the sexes for that matter. How we carry prejudices about others that are different from us remains a massive problem. I cannot help to wonder if using Seth’s technique of speaking out loud the problem, perhaps in private first wouldn’t help us all to understand the biases we all carry. F.N.)
You become jealous of others because they “have” something, the question is what is that something? Countries are judged by what they supposedly have and not by the deeds that they do. Individuals are judged by the deficits that others have. The question arises is it not easier to judge, condemn another than it is to work for that which you desire. Jealousy is a contagious disease that spreads outward and inflicts pain and suffering upon all who listen to its melodious voice. It is a seductress who pulls in its victims since they believe that they are worthless. One of the quickest ways to misery is to believe that you do not have enough. You make yourself empty and your glass as the expression goes is half empty. Each individual must become one with themself. If you are content with you than you will not be jealous of another’s possessions; in fact you will be grateful and happy that another has something that gives them pleasure. Each individual must make an effort to fill themselves up with the energy that the universe provides so that when you are full you will leave no room for the hunger of jealousy.
Yes, Isabella, you had a question?
Isabella… I don’t know how I could have handled the situation differently yesterday.
Seth… You very simply could have ignored it and then in a private moment stated in my opinion those women looked so foolish by acting the way they did. What did you think? You were so hungry, Isabella, that no amount of food could have filled you up.
Isabella… Sometimes I confuse my psychic intuition with what is really going on and with Jacob I had the psychic intuition that he had been cheating on me. I felt like I was feeling the same kind of feelings yesterday with this one individual girl and that was what was freaking me out. The fact that I was really convinced that there was something going on or something had gone on between the two of them and so how do I know that it didn’t? How do I know that it’s not going on?
Seth… What proof do you have that it did?
Isabella… None, absolutely none.
Seth… Then therefore until you can be certain by his actions then you are jealous of something that may not be true. You are judging your past experience not by current events. Until you have proof that nothing has gone on you are judging by current experience and not by past events. One must always come to any challenge even if it is a repetitive one without prior conditions attached to your actions. One must make believe that it is new. An example here, let us assume that you love chocolate cake and if I asked you in your mind to think about chocolate cake you can literally taste it however since you can taste it do you ever have to have another piece again? The answer is yes because I would like one. But if I asked you to state… (There was an issue with the computer and transcription.)
Isabella… I understand what you are saying but how can I ask him without him getting angry if there is something going on? I can’t.
Seth… The question that I stated before will give his answer how he perceives it.
Isabella… I know exactly how he perceives them. He thought that it was me being ridiculous.
Seth… Well, you were.
Isabella… But how do I know if I am misinterpreting the situation?
Seth… You will assume that you are misinterpreting the situation until other events prove (otherwise).
Isabella… So now I have to sit and wonder about it?
Seth… No, you do not have to sit and wonder about it. I would not be concerned with it at all. Because you are judging by what you saw.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Would you like me to judge you ever by what I see you as?
Isabella… But how do you know for sure that the person is loyal? How do you know?
Seth… A person may be loyal on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday they make a mistake. You may regret it; you may not regret it. Actions will tell you in future dates what is going on. Therefore, for you to concern yourself with what is going on is foolish.
Isabella… I know but I don’t feel any better now.
Seth… That’s your problem, would you like me to judge you?
Isabella… Sure. (Pause.) I don’t really know how to let it go. I am having a really hard time with this.
Seth… You let it go because it is not under your control. You have to become one with you. You have to be content with yourself. You have to know you are all that there is. And you are all that there is, and he does not appreciate it he loses not you.
Isabella… That’s not the plan.
Seth… I’m sorry but that is always the plan.
We shall take a break. (9:49 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions? (Isabella had to leave and Seth bade her goodbye.)
Stephanie… The spouse for example who gets angry at a wife and states you ignore me and give all your attention to our daughter and the idea that there is enough love within everyone for all this applies to these “jealous” individuals? Is this what you are speaking of in this lecture?
Seth… Yes, it is certainly part of the equation here.
Stephanie… Why do these individuals perceive that loving others in their own family is actually a threat to them?
Seth… These individuals feel this way because instinctively they believe that they are not enough.
Stephanie… So how would I help a person to allow the others to love freely?
Seth… One must allow an individual to come to the conclusion that there is enough for all. You help them by promoting the idea of self. If they are content with themselves then they will have enough within themselves so that they are not demanding of love exclusively from another. They will enjoy giving.
Stephanie… Is there a way I would approach a person who refuses therapy and also be able to teach them that they have nothing to fear by allowing the wife for example to love their daughter.
Seth… If an individual chooses not to be helped, then there is nothing you can do. If they present themselves then of course you will have the chance to promote themselves into learning that they are enough.
Stephanie… So, if this husband refuses to come in it is unlikely that he will allow the sharing?
Seth… Correct because he cannot learn. Are there any other questions?
Frank… I assume that for the person struggling with the jealousy that if they wish to help themselves that the idea from last week of asking what the problem is and talking out loud is helpful.
Seth… Yes.
Frank… Okay. Now jumping off of that. I had a dream that a singer whose songs were all about losing the girl then lost the girl and was disappointed. I interpreted this as meaning that this is what he created but it made me think that when we sing the blues it gets them out, sort of like speaking the problem out loud.
Seth… No, that is not quite correct. When you complain you bring the problem to you. In fact, you give it life and strength. An example here is simple if you complain about the fact that your drive to work every day is a nightmare you just make the nightmare worse. If you question yourself and what you can do about the traffic, then solutions are possible. I assume you understand the difference? Am I correct?
Frank… Yes. That leads to this question. I’ll use an example like with anxiety. What if you do sing it? Does that make for a different frame of reference, does that have other power, other uses?
Seth… Are you complaining?
Frank… No, I’m not complaining. Say I am singing I have a problem.
Seth… Singing or speaking is the same thing.
Seth… Let me leave you with this. The old expression that jealousy is a green-eyed monster is true in fact it is one of the most destructive forces that souls unleash on the physical plane. It increases your wants, and causes your needs to remain unfulfilled. Wars, murder, fear stem from this emotion. One must always be on guard to keep the monster locked up. A pleasant evening to all.
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening, now for a small bit of housekeeping. First of all Isabella, you are slowly working towards incorporating that which you are not into yourself so that you may change. It should be noted here that the change will seem artificial at first and the pretense of that which you are attempting to become will feel false, do not let this concern you. You will eventually succeed, and your happiness will magnify. Also under housekeeping, to our friend Frank. I know that the 400th session is coming up and since I know you would like to plan something special should be around we shall see what we could do. Jasmine, I applaud your efforts at looking up that which I requested of you and certainly hope you will incorporate those ideas into your existence. George, it’s a pleasure to have you with us again, I strongly recommend that you attempt even with your busy schedule to make this a habit; you will find the information profitable.
Under our subject of Change we are dealing with our pathways to misery. One must consider the idea that you must magnify all those challenges that you face. Individuals who look at challenges in terms that cause fear such as asking proper questions have a tendency to become overwhelmed with the prospect of the challenge itself. These individuals have a great tendency not to have perspective they do not see and certainly do not listen to a great many of the ideas that they are receiving from other frameworks. How often do these individuals choose not to understand! If they gave themselves the opportunity to focus in and contemplate the challenge itself then they would be able to gain insight into that which they are creating. When one has no perspective, it becomes obvious that the difficulties that they are facing are pushed aside in favor of either avoiding the challenge itself or blaming others for their difficulties.
If you cannot see the chances are that you will blindly stumble over the challenge and not be able to understand its true meaning. These individuals would rather blame others than focus in on their own problems. It should be noted that success often eludes them, they make promises to themselves and others knowing full well that they will be unable to keep that promise. These type of individuals are the true victimizers since they are unable to pinpoint that which they desire. They shift the blame away from themselves and torture others into behaving irrationally. They then blame the other soul for not assisting, listening to their difficulties. The victimization goes even further since they are unable to complete the challenge itself, they place others in the unfortunate position of having to complete the task for them. They watch with glee as their victims struggle to find solutions to problems that were not of their making. An example here may be seen with the man who beats his wife, commonly this individual was beaten as a child, and he takes his vengeance out on others. The child who enters teenage years with an attitude that they are more important than the adults clearly demonstrates their own lack of self-worth. These children prefer to stand alone against the “world itself” for they themselves have no respect not only for themselves but for the authorities that they routinely deal with.
It is quite obvious that these individuals magnify their own guilt. They are aware that things do not go easily for them. They are often disappointed in themselves, yet they blame others. They hide their guilt since it is so monstrously large that they fear its presence. One cannot perceive guilt when it is magnified to this extent because our individual knows that they are small and inadequate. They cannot complete even the simplest of tasks without demanding assistance from others, yet when assistance is offered, they resent that assistance and denigrate the soul who offered it. How could I listen to you, you don’t know anything. You are just too stupid to understand my problems. Today we do things differently than when you were my age. You are only interested in getting your way you don’t care about me at all. These are but a few examples of how individuals who magnify themselves in terms of their own perspective see the world at large. Their guilt is so enormous that it colors their world. The fear that they have of being found out causes these individuals to become angry and withdrawn within themselves. These individuals often believe that they are superior to the world that surrounds them. Their viewpoints are narrow. Their ego is focused only on the physical plane and rarely if ever allows information from higher realms to be accessed by this individual. One must look at their life in terms of success and failure
If one asks them to define success commonly it will be in terms of getting their own way. This is the way I want it and this is the way it should be. They are unable to see that success has very little to do with themselves. Even if wealthy they know they do not have enough since in fact they know that they themselves are not enough! When your basket is always empty and no matter what you put into that basket there is never enough. The hunger for approval and success is so mountainous and the terrain so harsh that it becomes impossible for any soul to cross that wasteland. Once a soul embarks upon this road it is difficult but not impossible for that individual to feel prosperous and loved. Their pathway to misery is a sliding slope that ever takes them deeper into the heartland of despair. Most of these individuals feel empty and alone no matter how many “friends” that they have. No matter how prosperous they seem to be they are empty and the voids that they create cause these individuals to detest others who are in loving relationships.
These individuals cannot and will not focus in on the true problems at hand only when they have reached the basement of their existence can these individuals attempt to take the elevator back up. Sadness, unhappiness and despair are the trademarks of these individuals. The world is too large for them or so they think.
Stephanie… What do you mean, it’s too large for them?
Seth… When individuals see every challenge as a mountain everything is so magnified they know not what to do with themselves. They cannot see the road that will help them bypass the raging river that they must cross into the land of freedom from torment.
We shall take a break. (9:06 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. It is clear that we still have many more paths to cover on our pathways or ways to misery. One must understand that these sessions are meant to give you an understanding of your behavior as well as others. Each of you will find portions of yourself within these pages. One must remove the idea of not me when you focus in on this type of information. If you do not then of course you will be missing out on a great deal of prosperity. An example of this may be seen with individuals who sit around this table and do not do their reading assignments. In fact, how many of you routinely read these sessions at least three times before the next session is given. How many of you take notes on what you have read and come prepared to ask questions?
Are there any questions?
Isabella… I have been having a lot of out of control dreams especially within my classroom. Why am I having dreams of being so out of control?
Seth… Remember it is the theme that matters. Out of control is obviously a sign of fear. I don’t have to list here all the facets of your current existence where this comes to play. I believe you understand.
Isabella… So he (Isabella’s boyfriend Tommy) told me that he knows I’m afraid and that I have a lot of fear and that he feels I don’t trust him that he is not going to do to me what Jacob did to me.
Seth… Is there anything there you don’t understand or don’t agree with?
Isabella… But it is upsetting him.
Seth… That is not what we are talking about, we are talking about you not him.
Isabella… So, what do I do? How do you get past the past because this is the conversation that you and I had left? And he the next day called me out on the exact same thing. Thank you for putting that into his head.
Seth… I didn’t put it into his head.
Isabella… Well, somebody did.
Seth… Who did? Notice here in this lecture… (Isabella laughing.)
Isabella… I put that into his head?
Seth… Of course, your actions.
Isabella… So…
Seth… There is an expression, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Simply put unless you let yourself go you will erect a wall that will eventually surround you and you will never be able to see past it. You would be better off to cry, to scream, to yell, to feel horrible then erect that wall. I suggest you take a sledgehammer to that wall and allow yourself to trust. And if you get hurt, so be it. Without taking chances, you cannot ever succeed.
Are there any other questions.
Frank… Are there a number of ways to bring down the magnification of the challenges? I assume that there are a bunch of different ways? Like for example if something seems big you try and take it into pieces, being more realistic. But for these people how?
Seth… When one needs to succeed the perspective that you have determines what the problem truly is. Let us ask a question by a simple show of hands. Betty, you can answer, obviously. (Betty is on the phone.) How many of you, when faced with a problem state the problem out loud and not just think about it? Is there anyone here who does that? The answer is no.
Frank… Write it down. (Sometimes I did. F.N)
Seth… State it out loud. (There is byplay here with Frank and the group is laughing. Seth stated that the question saved Frank for at least this week. This referred to the fact that Seth had warned Frank that he had not been growing.) By stating the question out loud you change not only your perspective of the problem but the flavor of the challenge itself. By stating the problem in your own words, you then redefine the challenge in a way that will allow you to function in a manner that will bring you success.
Jasmine, you had a question.
Jasmine… I’m just wondering whether or not when you have a problem and mull it over in your mind….
Seth… You are magnifying the problem; you are making it larger. You are incorporating possible this, possible this, could be this, what happens here, I’m not sure and fear plays into what that has done. When you state the problem out loud you are making it concrete. When you state the problem out loud you are making it concrete. You are taking parts of the challenge; you bring fear into the equation by allowing yourself the luxury of not understanding. When you state the problem out loud you are defining in your own terms that which is bothering you!
Jasmine, you have something more?
Jasmine… What I found yesterday was I had a problem which bothered me, I thought the dishwasher was broken. I didn’t say it out loud, what am I going to so the dishwasher is broken but I thought that then actually answer out loud. I said, well call the repairman if it can’t be fixed buy a new dishwasher. And I was immediately calm.
Seth… It would have been even easier for you, and you would have less difficulty had you stated the problem out loud. As well as it went, it would have been easier.
Frank… When the problem is anxiety or panic by stating the problem that is going to help them reduce the anxiety?
Seth… It has to because you are then helping them to focus in not only on the immediate panic attack but its underlying causes.
Frank… I don’t understand the last part, how does it do that?
Seth… When you state a problem, you are then bringing to forefront that which is bothering you yet when you are worried which is an idea about a panic attack about something here commonly it’s really about something there. It’s not what you are immediately seeing or feeling.
Frank… So at least you are dealing with what is more likely the real fear?
Seth… We’re dealing with the real fear by uncovering that which is the problem. (Stephanie asked Seth to repeat.) You are dealing with the real fear by uncovering that which is the real problem.
Frank… So, if I ask a patient who has panic disorder to state out loud the problem they are going to say something like, I’m afraid I’m going to die. That at least gives them what the essence of fear is?
Seth… At that particular moment. You are then free to delve into the reason or the reasons why that specific fear has manifested itself.
(Jasmine asked a question about stating out loud the question.)
Seth… The question should be asked by in this instance the therapist. If you are alone and having a panic attack you stop, state it out loud and you ask yourself, is this real?
(The tape is unclear, but someone was asking for clarification about saying the problem out loud versus speaking to a therapist.)
Seth… But when people complain about a panic situation it is to a therapist and that was what I was addressing.
Stephanie… And the therapist would ask?
Seth… What makes you fear, in this instance we will use Frank’s words, dying?
Stephanie… Okay.
Isabella… But that is not what is really going on for them.
Seth… It never is but then you work backwards from there. Well, if you are worried about dying what made you or why do you think you are worried about dying? What do think is going on? What is leading you to be concerned with?
Isabella… So, when you are asking yourself the question, let’s just say you are…
Seth… Is it real?
Isabella… I get that but for me when I am in a panic place or when I am really anxious or whatever and I don’t know what the problem is that’s causing me to feel that way how do I say to myself what is the problem?
Seth… Is it real?
Isabella… No that’s…
Seth… No that is the answer. When you don’t know Isabella what is causing you your difficulty, but you know that you are having difficulty then the answer is simple. If you say to yourself is this real, is this the problem and your answer is no because you know it won’t be.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Then you say then let us back up, what happened a day ago? What happened a week ago? What happened three weeks ago? Something is setting off this chain of events and so you start working backward.
Stephanie… In the case of my patient Lauren anytime death is brought up she freaks out so then what is this then related to?
Seth… Fear of death is always the fear of the unknown and since you can’t define it adequately then you panic about it.
Stephanie… So then where would I go with her with that? (Stephanie continued to say something about how frightened the patient was and how difficult it was for the patient to even speak about it.)
Seth… Someone who will not speak about something will not open themselves for any answer. The question you ask is what frightens you.
Stephanie… Okay, and she says I don’t know.
Seth… Your answer to that is simple if you don’t know then we will have to discuss it until you become desensitized to the idea of death.
Stephanie… And how would one begin this type of conversation? (There was some difficulty Stephanie had with typing with Seth kidding that he would have to transcribe the typing. The question of discussing death continued.)
Seth… There are many reasons that people fear death since they fear the loss of themselves. Let me assure you that you can never lose yourself since the human soul is immortal! And you can take it from there yourself.
Seth… Let me leave you with this. When you magnify your problems, you lose your perspective. Your guilt increased exponentially, and your wants run amuck. (There was laughter and kidding as Isabella said she loved the word “amuck.”) Your fears decrease that which you may obtain and your needs are left unfulfilled. A pleasant evening to all.
Seth… A pleasure to have you here with me this evening. Under our title of housekeeping, we will deal with our friend Frank. While there is little to say I am sure that your unsettledness level has increased. Decisions that you make will be yours and yours alone. I will offer no help or assistance, but this should not come as a surprise. For obvious reasons if you cannot or will not improve, we will see you in about three to four months or possibly longer. (This has to do with Frank being stuck in his own road to misery involving paralysis by analysis. F.N.)
Seth… Under our subject of change we will continue on our paths to misery. As a review we have had two areas that we have covered so far, the first being the idea of entitlement the second is the idea that it is personal. When one combines these two concepts it is understandable that most individuals spend a great deal of time and effort in provoking others so that the path to misery becomes ever clearer to our unfortunate soul. Another path may be entitled focus on your problems. These individuals have nothing better to do than to look for unhappiness even when faced with success! It may be said that these individuals often snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Individuals of this nature refuse to work for that which they desire. Often, they do not complete reading assignments. They certainly if they are a member of this class do not review past sessions; they rely on memory which at best is faulty.
The problems that these individuals have are characterized by them as monumental. They catastrophize even the most minor of events. They are quick to blame others for their difficulties. These type of individuals often see the world as a challenge that can never be conquered. In reality they believe that there are no solutions to any problem that they have created yet, when questioned they deny responsibility for the difficulties that they find themselves facing even when it is obvious that they are the creator of their own difficulties. Their problems of course seem insurmountable since they take and certainly do not make any effort to lessen, diminish and or alleviate their own difficulties. These individuals are chronically unhappy, they do not see the world as a place where positive events routinely occur.
These individuals do not allow themselves the luxury of success at any level since success to them is abhorrent. If you question these individuals, they of course will deny the previous statement and will be happy to give you numerous examples of their successes. Yet, in fact, their successes are but fleeting memories of past events. These individuals are unable to sustain routine happiness. They are always waiting for the next storm. They find difficulty in accomplishing the simplest endeavors. These individuals find excuses to have others do things for them, their common cry sounds something like this, can you do me a favor, would it be too much for you to do this for me. These individuals will then criticize the others who attempt to satisfy their desires. Often these individuals are jealous of what others have or seem to possess. These individuals clearly know and certainly see that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
These souls wall themselves off from the community that seeks to assist them, yet they deny the fact that they are loners and will clearly attempt to show you how many “friends” that they have. If one would take the time to examine their friendships it is obvious that these individuals delude themselves into believing that they have friends. The problems here are demonstrated by the idea that these type of souls criticize and do not accept other individuals as they truly are. These individuals find fault with others. They question the idea that there are individuals who do not have the same standards as they do, their “friends” never seem to call or they call too often. They seem never to be invited with others in their community. They resent the idea that they are the ones who have to do the work to be included. Each individual never seems to obtain the respect that they seek.
It is clear that these individuals, when examined demonstrate the repetitive nature of their lives. Their problems repeat themselves by this I mean that if one has a problem with money each difficult set of challenges will involve money in one form or another. These souls question the idea that nothing seems to improve, their statement is simple why does this always happen to me? The repetitive nature of these problems causes these type of individuals to reflect upon the idea that the world is indeed a very difficult place and for them it is since their problems never seem to improve or lessen in severity. From here these individuals often look to blame others instead of challenging themselves. The problems that they face become overwhelming due to the fact that they have little control or insight into what is indeed happening on a day-to-day basis. These individuals shut themselves away from others since they cannot and certainly will not make an attempt to improve their vision. In truth these individuals are alone. They are unable to correctly and efficiently accept the idea that they are responsible for not only changing their problems but for overcoming them in a direct manner. If one is unable to overcome or successfully complete and understand a problem the universe of course will provide you with another difficulty or challenge that will reflect that which you need to learn.
Problem solving is not one of their strong points, yet when they successfully see, meet and complete a challenge as I have previously stated they will not find joy in the solution that they have indeed created. The universe accepts the idea that their unhappiness is a call for more enlightenment and these individuals will soon find another problem which deals with the same issues.
Next week we shall continue on our road to misery. At this point we shall take a break.
(9:30 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions.
Jasmine… I saw myself in a lot of the last category, focus on your problems.
Seth… Let us ask a question. Is it not factual that you routinely find yourself in situations where you have difficulties that are repetitive in nature?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… If this is so, has it ever occurred to you to question the how and the why of your existence when dealing with these type of difficulties or do you just accept them?
Jasmine… I do find myself in situations that are repetitive in nature be it with my family or even my own worrisome patterns. I’m not quite sure if I understand this part of the how and the why to question this of my existence when dealing with these types of difficulties or do I just accept them. Yes, I have repetitive patterns in my difficulties, but I don’t understand, I think I just accept them.
Seth… Do you realize by the way how many times you made the statement this afternoon that I can’t believe this is happening again. (Jasmine shook her head in annoyance.) Even if 3 times that’s 3 too many and for what reason do I have to exaggerate? It is obvious that I would have no reason to exaggerate yet if you will reread the lecture with a different mindset it will become clear to you that individuals when called upon to examine their belief systems here become angry.
Jasmine… You think I’m angry, I’m not. I’m just questioning.
Frank… You’re angry because she doesn’t believe it could be 18 times.
Seth… She’s also frustrated because of the repetitive nature of the difficulty.
Jasmine… I don’t really understand how to question the how and why. I obviously just accept them. Are you saying is there a pattern here and how do I change?
Seth… Yes. How can you function differently. You decided your success, which was not enough was then made it into a failure when you did not accept the success.
Jasmine… I was proud of my success. I couldn’t get rid of the negativity not the success. (Jasmine had had some sort of difficulty on the phone with people that was an ordeal.)
Seth… The success itself should have alleviated the problem. The repetitive nature is proof that it does not last. I suggest that you examine this. Are there any other questions?
Frank… Not now, maybe next week.
Seth… Warning!
Stephanie… When you speak about the individual preventing happiness would one have to look into why they refuse to allow themselves to be happy and resolve that before attempting anything else? How would one resolve this with the underlying issue of sabotage?
Seth… First my answer would be not necessarily. One must understand that the refusal to accept happiness is part of a large camouflage system. In many cases it is necessary to go ahead and accept small portions of happiness at first before attempting to delve underneath there by removing the ingrained difficulties that exist. In an ideal situation one would of course delve beneath the waves but for many individuals this is not practical at first.
Stephanie… This is because they first have to get used to the feeling of happiness in parts?
Seth… Not only do they have to get used to feelings of happiness but first they have to accept the concept of happiness. At first it is necessary to enjoy something before one may delve into the idea as to why pleasure is more profitable than the alternatives. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes. How would they do this on a regular basis? It would have to be a conscious effort.
Seth… This must become a conscious effort since it is necessary to pretend at first that happiness is pleasurable. This will finally become a part of our individual. Then and only then can the camouflage system be uncovered.
Jasmine… So, there are people who don’t take in happiness as pleasure?
Seth… They acknowledge it but it doesn’t mean anything. They look to find problems, they don’t see that happiness comes from a completion of a problem, but you don’t have to have a successful completion which means winning. If you successfully completed a 5 mile race one should take pleasure in its ending. You succeeded in finishing. The issue isn’t how much they did or completed it is the idea that is important.
Jasmine was drained after completing her phone ordeal.
Seth… You could not have completed this 6 months ago. Winning which is your difficulty does not mean not successful. You look to win with what you do.
Seth… Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this… When one focuses on their problems individuals see these problems as monstrous. They find no solutions and their problems become repetitive. Their wants increase and their needs remain unfulfilled.
Roads to Misery, Clinging to Entitlement and Its All Personal
Tuesday March 10, 2009
8:40 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me this evening. Under our subject of change we will label this lecture and if necessary, others, The Ways to Misery.
The first path may be called “cling to entitlement”. Let us be truthful, each of you know that the world owes you not only a living but the pleasures that you so desperately seek. It is interesting to note that most individuals truly believe that they are entitled to whatever they want whether it be friendship, money, a home, a reasonable job and last good fortune. One must take note here that individuals who cling to their sense of entitlement delude themselves into believing that they do not have to apply any effort in order to achieve that which they seek. The problem with a popular book entitled The Secret plays upon the fears of individuals who desire something for nothing. The idea of not having to work to achieve one’s goals causes individuals to become lazy and dependent upon others for their own happiness. This occurs because of the fact that their family and friends choose to bypass their wishes since they receive nothing in return for their efforts.
Jasmine… Can I ask you a question? “The idea of not having to work to achieve one’s goals causes individuals to become lazy and dependent upon others for their own happiness.” That I completely understand, I understand the connection to The Secret. So, this occurs meaning the dependency and laziness? Yes?
Seth… Yes.
Jasmine… If “this occurs because of the fact that their family and friends choose to bypass their wishes, whose wishes?
Seth… The individual who is…
Jasmine… Wants to be lazy and dependent.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… Choose to bypass their wishes since they receive nothing in return for their efforts. They bypass their wishes because the family…
Seth… In other words, for example…
Jasmine… Well why would any family encourage laziness and dependency?
Seth… It’s not a question Jasmine, of encouraging laziness. You are aware for example in your existence that you quite often ask the man through whom I speak to do things for you when you could have easily done them yourself.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… Do you believe that he was disenchanted with you due to your laziness?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Then I believe that you have answered your own question. (There was a good deal of back and forth here until Jasmine understood.)
To put it in a simpler term, if you believe that you are entitled for someone to become devoted to you when they choose to place their own priorities ahead of yours you as the person who feels entitled becomes angry and further pushes away the others. A clear example of this may be seen with the actions of your mother Paula. Has she taken command of her own physical well-being yet she is annoyed and bothered that you and other family members are not there to assist her. Her actions clearly demonstrate…
Jasmine… She did sound angry.
Seth… She makes demands that are unreasonable. If you look back through the history of this past month and a half you will see the demands for what they are.
Now, the second example of this is clearly seen by Isabella’s refusal to understand friendship, loyalty and generosity. She is perfectly willing and certainly feels entitled to demand assistance from all those around her. When the assistance is given and Isabella profits from that assistance, she is not grateful for that assistance. When the need is reversed Isabella feels entitled to promote herself over another individual who asked for, or required her aid.
This clearly demonstrates that when an individual believes that they are entitled to receive that which they desire they are perfectly willing to forgo loyalty, friendships and love since they are unable to promote a sense of bonding with other individuals. When one believes that they are more important than their surrounding souls it is quite easy to foster the erroneous belief that nothing matters but you/themselves. In reality these individuals enjoy misery and are chronically unhappy since they cannot function without a sense of entitlement! It is interesting to note that these individuals constantly complain about how others do not fulfill their needs. In reality they are not fulfilling their own needs since they are unwilling to work/create that which they truly desire.
Our second road to misery may be entitled Its All Personal. It should be noted that this is especially true with family and friends. These individuals look for and find reasons to be hurt, disappointed, frustrated, angry, bothered with their compatriots. Let us be reasonable we all know that the others that surround you are truly not there for you. These individuals observe every action; dissect every word that anyone says in the attempt to find hurt in whatever was said. The idea of constructive criticism has no place in their lives. The second one attempts to criticize or correct a statement of theirs or their behavior anger ensues since they know that you were looking to hurt them in any way that you can. Even when they have made an error these individuals first look to blame others and second attempt to explain away their failings by whatever means possible.
Their families often are so cautious around them since they never know what will set these individuals off on a path of anger. Their family and friends debate amongst themselves on how to react to their problems, so the question arises, how does one help an individual that knows it is not their fault and that you are looking to denigrate them? This is one of the reasons why these individuals have great difficulty in forming and maintaining true friendships. The idea of what can you do for me is very important to their concept of life on the physical plane. Since it is all personal these individuals give no quarter to anyone who attempts to criticize their belief system. One must understand that these individuals enjoy the pain that they inflict upon themselves due to the fact that they are unable and certainly unwilling to listen let alone understand what others are attempting to do. Their misery is compounded by the fact that they are alone with themselves, they hear others speaking behind their back, they never know or understand what true friendship/family, relationships mean. They cannot and will not allow themselves the luxury of enjoyment. These individuals often say, I am having fun, but it is you who have destroyed my day, it is you who makes me feel the way I do. You are the cause of my feeling badly, and my ruined plans. These individuals would rather blame others than even look at themselves.
Their misery at times is so intense that they choose to victimize others rather than change themselves. These types of individuals chronically believe that they are always innocent and that they could become happy if only…
We will continue next week on our way to misery, and I believe at this time we shall take a break.
(9:21PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Since we are going to continue this next week, we will move directly into our question and answer session. Are there any questions?
Frank… I wanted to ask about addictions, in particular having to do with my patient, Dorthey, whose whole family including her has entitlement issues. I have a sense of using the idea with addictions of breaking the ties that bind but I was looking for more understanding in this area particularly with her.
Seth… First one must understand the word addiction. Basically, it is a physical and or mental necessity. Therefore, one may be addicted to anything. That addiction of course may be positive or negative. An example here is Jasmine’s addiction to exercise. One’s addiction may be viewed as positive or negative. What someone enjoys to an excess no matter how profitable may be viewed as an addiction.
Jasmine… You are not saying that I am addicted to exercise, are you?
Seth… I was waiting for your comment. Obviously, that was my humor. (Jasmine laughed.)
Now, does that give you a hint Frank as to what to do?
Frank… I understood that but I guess the idea of focusing on the negative if it causes you this pain then why do you do it? (There is some back and forth here along with Seth kidding by repeating Frank’s words slowly as Stephanie continues to adjust to her role as typist.) But what I really have trouble with is the fooling of self, the lying and then the not knowing how to help the person.
Seth… Let us move backwards here. If I were to ask you what your job as a therapist is how would you answer.
Frank… To help people figure out where they are at, how to promote themselves and to help them to get back on track.
Seth… If that is the case, then you already have your answer to your question.
Frank… Then that is what I should be doing.
Seth… That is what you should be doing in terms of any patient. If a person is doing something that is inappropriate, harmful, is it not your responsibility to ask questions along that line?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Well if it is your responsibility it seems that you need lessons in how to be a therapist and the reason I state this is if a person came to your office and was smoking four packs of cigarettes a day and was complaining that his significant other chose not to be near him or her because of the smell your first concern would not be for him to take a shower, your first concern should be his health and well being in order for you to understand why it is necessary for him to smoke as much as he does. The question here is simple, the idea that you must help your patient to figure out is why the addiction and what does it mean. It is not the symptomatology which is where you get lost but the camouflage system that is in place that allows the symptomatology to occur. Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah, I understand but it gets more complicated than that.
Seth… It is not more complicated than that.
Frank… Okay. (Frank understood. Throughout the years Seth’s dealings with “so called therapists” as he would call us was steadfast and strict. Asking the correct questions to allow patients to think in order to find their own answers has been stressed over and over. This methodology stimulates the patient’s own growth and development while allowing free-will. After many years I still fight the urge to give answers instead of ask questions! F.N.)
Seth… Any other questions?
Frank… (Frank asked if anyone else would like to ask a question but they deferred.) I’d like to be able to help my son Zak with the idea of direction in terms of what he wants to do and become or even what to do over the summer as a job, but I don’t want to influence him, and I would like to allow him to fail.
Seth… First, that is a lie.
Frank… The “fail” part?
Seth… Yes. You are not speaking you are going to listen. It is a lie because if you truly were growing and were giving him the gift of failure you would not have asked the question. The reason is simple. Why is it even necessary for you to aid, assist if you are going to give him the luxury of failure? Would it not be more profitable for you to sit down and have a simple discussion with him and then illicit his feelings on these questions? How would you have enjoyed your parents pushing you into becoming an accountant? (Interesting that my father did push me into accounting and fortunately it did not work out well! This I commented on as it was never said before, and Seth said he was aware. F.N.) That is what your question really asks.
Frank… My problem was not knowing to elicit feelings and I felt like I was allowing him to or watching him flounder and it feels like I’ve abandoned him. And I was not being competent enough to be able…
Seth… You were trying to be a good parent instead you ended up or would like to end up being a horrible one.
Frank… I would like to be… I am pushed and pulled in both directions and am and was lost.
Seth… No one likes to see their child have difficulties of any sort. The tendency for most parents is to push a child in a direction. Sometimes of course that may be the profitable thing to do and even if it is the child resents the parents for doing so. Clear examples of this are easily seen with adults who play musical instruments and were forced to practice by their parents. Many of these individuals are very successful musicians but the anger is still there. Did I answer your question?
Frank… Yes. My difficulty is I would like to allow the failure but what I do instead is withdraw as opposed to your concept of eliciting the feeling and then I could be there.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this. The ways to misery have many roads. When you embark upon any of them you magnify your wants, your needs are left unfulfilled, and the idea of change becomes difficult at best. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me this evening. For the purposes of allowing Kaetorina to start transcribing these sessions I will modify my speaking patterns. This will also allow you to phrase your questions in a proper manner. (This is the first session that Stephanie began typing as Seth spoke. Seth’s speech here is rather slow and the process of Stephanie typing rather arduous but in time Stephanie became such a fast typist that those of us taking notes could not always keep up! This typing “change” allowed for sessions to be more readily available although not fully edited. There remain hundreds of sessions that have not yet been typed. F.N. Feb 2016)
We will start off under our general heading of Change by asking a question: How do you define the idea of hope? Do we have a volunteer? Betty to go first. (This is Seth humor telling Betty to go first.)
Betty… Something positive or different to look forward to.
Seth… Isabella?
Isabella… A longing or a yearning for something in the future. Oh wait, there is something else I want to add. A positive feeling of a particular circumstance.
Arthur… An opening, a possibility and anticipation.
Frank… A feeling for a desired outcome in the future. I have also some sort of connection to faith.
George… Hope is an optimistic part of our spirit.
Stephanie… A futuristic perspective on a particular topic related to feelings and connected to desire/want.
Seth… For the purposes of having Kaetorina adapt to this new venture all questions will be held until I finish. I suggest that you write them down so that you will not forget them.
Hope may be defined as what an individual does to give reason in a chaotic, unfortunate, disheartening situation. It is interesting to note that individuals do not seek change unless they believe that there is no other outlet for their desires. One is often faced with the knowledge that the future often looks bleak. Each of you on your journey often finds themselves with many pathways, roads if you will that you may choose to embark upon. When each of you finds yourself in a position where you are at a crossroads you routinely stand still and often become paralyzed because of your own fears about the murkiness about futuristic events. One must understand that the future itself depends upon your creativity. Each of you moves along a road or pathway if you will at your own pace. Others will succeed before you do while others are left far behind. When you come to realize that no choice will cause you to be pushed off your path the idea of change becomes easier.
One may question the idea that choices in reality don’t matter. Your choices whether positive or negative do not cause failure in terms of your own ultimate success. They may delay you; they may move you on to a different path, but they cannot cause ultimate failure. One of the principles of success is the ability to try different solutions to the same problem. One changes their approach so that they will be able to accomplish their set of stated goals. A question here for all of you how often do you sit down and physically write out your goals for the next week, month, year or decade? Without doing so you are easily moved away from that which you desire.
One methodology that I suggest is for each individual to pursue and experience the grandeur of silence. When it is nighttime, and the world is quiet how often do you sit and listen to the universe that you are an integral part of. How often do you shut out the noise of your day-to-day existence by opening yourself to yourself so that you may experience yourself in all your grandeur? Each individual if change is to be accomplished, must learn about him/herself. Without this knowledge you are literally blind to that which you are and hope to become!
It is a sad fact that most individuals make excuses for not doing what they love. While it is true that your passions ebb and flow like the tide there is nothing wrong with the need to leave some of your passions behind. This does not mean that you will give them up on a permanent basis. Many times, the circumstances of your existence do not allow for a “frivolous” hobby or playful diversions. I caution each of you not to fall prey to the idea that I cannot have what I love, in reality this is self-sabotage. If only I could have, I would have been a different person, if only I had done that I would have been happier, if only I had seen the correct path, I could have been a success, if only my parents had been different, I would be different as well. The idea of if only diminishes you as an individual. It prevents hope since you will not allow for change. “If only” prevents you from understanding where one should go on your never ending journey.
These ideas cause one to falter in their quest for the dessert of life and you feel left out of the true party that is the physical plane. Each of you must now embark on any journey with hope so that the pathways that you choose to take may be filled with silence and that the love of that which you are overflows from you the vessel that resides on the physical plane.
We shall take a break. (9:10 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Now that I have given you my thoughts for this evening, I will allow questions to be asked. Yes, Frank?
Frank… Could you comment on why time frames for goals are a good idea?
Seth… My temptation here Frank is to ask you to go into the office on my right and close the door before I answer this question. The reason for that statement is as follows. You have a great tendency to look for a “method” so that you may apply it routinely.
Frank… I didn’t ask…
Seth… Don’t make matters worse.
Time frames in the most general sense are used to give one direction in an ever-changing environment. Without setting goals one cannot change with the times. Is the economy robust or are times so difficult that your goals must be postponed? By setting a framework for yourself you enable yourself as well as those around you to proceed in a direction that promotes prosperity even in the most difficult of situations. By giving yourself a sense of direction you allow for change to become a natural part of your own existence. Are there any other questions?
Frank… In terms of time frames I was thinking about working with others. For myself the question is that I do goals, but I don’t do time frames because it feels more natural to me, isn’t that correct?
Seth… No.
Frank… Why not?
Seth… It is not correct because you are living an existence that would tend to make it an open-ended situation. Let us assume that you would like fifteen more patients in your practice. If you don’t set a goal then those patients may come in a month, a year, ten years, what is suitable? By giving yourself a non-rigid time frame you are attracting and creating that which you may define as your manifest destiny.
Frank… You defined in two methods, time and the specific goal so what you’re saying is it’s better to be specific so that you can manifest what you really want?
Seth… Depending upon what you are manifesting and what your belief systems are. The man through whom I speak sets a goal that is specific and vague. His question always is “How would a prosperous man act?” The question is specific to what he believes is a specific difficulty or challenge yet, at the same time vague enough to allow him to create prosperity in whatever means suits him best at any specific point of reference. Are there any other questions?
Frank… Could you offer any specific advice in terms of making my practice more prosperous during these current times?
Seth… Why would I do that since YOU must create for yourself? And by doing so I would rob you of free-will.
(To Stephanie) How are your fingers? (Stephanie indicated that her fingers were fine but that typing perhaps to keep up was hard.) You’ll learn.
Frank… I was specifically concerned and ambivalent regarding the concept of stopping taking insurance for new patients. Can you give me any information on that? (I never did stop taking insurance. F.N)
Seth… No.
Isabella… I have a question regarding the spiritual connection between two individuals. How is it that two people will call each other text each other at the exact same time and often about the same thing?
Seth… A while ago I gave a lecture about a ruler and when two individuals are on the same side of the ruler, they are connected in ways they cannot imagine. That lecture would be very profitable for you. I would suggest that you have our friend Frank research his notes to give you the lecture number and you will type it. Second, in terms of housekeeping, how is the back end of that session going? (There was back and forth banter between Seth and Isabella ending with the edict that she should finish typing a particular session.)
Isabella… How does that relate to the idea of lifelong players?
Seth… It does not have to relate at all. Lifelong players present each other with challenges. This is completely different.
Isabella… Tommy and I have these weird moments that often happen where I can almost feel and he too that we are in each other’s minds. Is that the same idea as the ruler?
Seth… Correct. When you have a chance speak to Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak, and they will relate to you a story about throwing toys. (This toy event occurred many years earlier when Stephanie was quite angry and throwing toys in her mind. Jerry picked up on this telepathically and in an effort to assist her they spoke telepathically. This in a sense was the beginning of their psychic work together and marked her understanding that she was psychic and furthermore was the beginning of her development into a truly gifted psychic.) Are there any other questions?
Frank… Related to Isabella’s question: When I type Seth material or read like The Magical Approach invariably it’s timely with a question I had or an understanding that I needed. I am in correspondence with that material, correct?
Seth… Finish your question.
Frank… Am I in correspondence with that material?
Seth… Have each of you ever noticed that my lectures were directed to you?
Frank… (Group laughter.) Of course.
Seth… The reason that each of you feel that I am speaking directly towards you is due to the fact that my research clearly shows what is going on with each of my students. It is no surprise that when I suggest some reading for any of you it is due to the fact that your creations will give you what you need so that the material becomes pertinent to your own way of life. This is nothing new, I have stated this on previous occasions.
Isabella… I’m having a really hard time with The Nature of Personal Reality.
Seth… This is as it should be. The difficulties are placed there so that you will encounter hardship which forces you to think. Have you written a question? I haven’t heard any yet.
Isabella… I don’t…
Seth… If you don’t know what you don’t know…
Isabella… I don’t even know what to do.
Seth… You would write I do not understand this paragraph. I do not understand this concept. I do not understand this. I have a question on that. And you will write two or three things down and you may ask them.
Isabella… (Talking further on the book.) And the language that he uses!
Seth… Difficult, on purpose.
Isabella… It is so different then how you speak here that I can’t…
Seth… Here I am in a conversational mode.
Isabella… But I can barely understand what is being said.
Seth… Then have you… there is something called a dictionary.
Isabella… I understand the vocabulary, but it is so complicated.
Seth… It seems I just said that.
Isabella… It makes it so challenging to get through. It is almost like I am losing…
Seth… How many pages did I tell you to read a day?
Isabella… Three, I can barely…
Seth… Two to three. And when you read two to three a day you will take a little note book, you will write down a question or a concept or a feeling.
Isabella… I am finding it very challenging, and I am a good reader.
Seth… It is supposed to be very challenging. Yet there are individuals who will read it and understand it. Yet, if you remember I stopped Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak when they were on about page 200 because they thought they were reading it, yet they were only looking at words and I made them go back over it. Just as Jasmine, who said she understood everything was on page 25, understood nothing.
Isabella… I am like barely on page like 40 and I go back and re-read from the beginning.
Seth… Where are your questions on concepts?
Isabella… I could literally ask about every single paragraph.
Seth… Then you will and it will be explained.
George… A couple of months I have a wedding coming up… (Stephanie is laughing.)
Frank… Do you want her to type this?
Seth… No. (The above including Isabella’s conversation about the difficulty of The Nature of Personal Reality was all recaptured and edited from the tape.)
George… I would like the time to be a good time for my family. Is there anything or any information that I can give to my father that would help him get out of this situation that he has been in for the last two years and is now finally starting to get out of and work through?
Seth… I believe you just stating that he is getting out of it. My best advice to you or anyone: When times are difficult most individuals seek refuge into what they believe is a comfortable zone. The natural person expands himself and joins forces with the community around him. They become a part of a greater whole. They inherently understand that to be yourself is to be prosperous. That is the advice that you require, for if you are not yourself then you are hiding from that which you truly seek to be.
Let me leave you with this: Hope does spring eternal, use it to put reason into your existence. You will be able to find a better pathway. Let silence push you along. Do what you love, your needs will be met and your wants lessened. A good evening to all.
Change, The Avoidence Mentality and Learning to Love What You Hate
Tuesday Jan 13, 2009
8:30 P.M
Seth… Good evening; pleasure to have you all here again this evening. Let us do some housekeeping. Jasmine, now you have certainly spent a great deal of time today doing nothing. Example, you waited in a physician’s office for quite a while. How much of the Seth material did you read during that time period?
Jasmine… I didn’t bring that book, and I forgot about it.
Seth… And again, if you remember, we talked about that you had a year from original proposal for you to read. I would strongly suggest that you attempt to at least read four to five pages per day. And that should be your first bit of work and the reason for that is that you will find a great many solutions to your supposed difficulties within that book. And what you do not understand you can certainly write a question down or highlight it or make notes, written notes not mental ones because they become foolish because you don’t remember, nor would anybody else for that matter. And at least have the ability to follow through which you don’t give yourself. As a generalized statement that is one of your major difficulties within this incarnation. You do not follow through, you start out, you over do and then you don’t complete. So, this is one of the things that you should attempt to do to correct yourself. Even if you were reading “The Secret” what message are you giving out to the universe by your lack of sincerity? You understand?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Our second book, how is it coming?
Isabella… Which one, “The Nature of Personal Reality”? Good, I am struggling through it.
Seth… Absolutely correct, you should be struggling through it because it is forcing you to think. Where are the questions?
Isabella… You answered but you answered in our private session the one that was most pressing at the time. So other than that, I’ve been okay.
Seth… I’m aware that you got the message that I relayed.
Isabella… Yeah, but I don’t, I think I am doing things incorrectly so at some point tonight I think I would like you to clarify.
Seth… It’s very simple, I will clarify it now. When you ask even a positive natured or make a positive natured statement about anything, in the way which individuals, not only you but individuals as a whole frame their questions they are often looking for advice or approval.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… That is what you are doing incorrectly.
Isabella… So, if I wanted to relay something positive because I have been really consciously trying!
Seth… I am aware. I’m not saying you are not trying.
Isabella… I know but…
Seth… I am saying if you have to master something…
Isabella… Okay, so I am asking you so if I want to relay a positive story how do I relay it without it coming across as asking for advice?
Seth… Tommy telephoned me and told me how beautiful I was. That’s a statement.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… The second you ask isn’t that nice…
Isabella… Oh.
Seth… is not correct. Because that implies you need approval from others for that. Do you understand, now?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Do you see where you have made your mistakes?
Isabella… I guess.
Seth… Correct them.
Isabella… I don’t remember per say every single one.
Seth… The exact ones are not the important issue here at all.
Isabella… It’s almost like I don’t want to talk about him at all.
Seth… That would be your choice but that would not solve your problem; you do understand that?
Isabella… Why wouldn’t it though if I keep it…
Seth… Because if you keep everything to yourself, what are you teaching yourself? Do we need the therapists here to help you with this one?
Isabella… If I keep everything to myself, what am I teaching myself?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… That I don’t need anybody else?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Oh, I don’t know.
Seth… That you can keep a secret and that you do not have to share. Is that how you want your community to work?
Isabella… No, but I don’t want to…
Seth… Better you should make mistakes, and I correct you than not.
Isabella… Because I am so use to doing the negative that I thought, you know without doing the negative…
Seth… No one is saying that you are not trying.
Isabella… I know.
Seth… I’m just saying that you are not succeeding.
Isabella… Thank you that makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better.
Seth… It should because there is a very big difference between not trying, which means an inability to change, that’s exactly what that means, not succeeding is a very positive statement. When you have a student who cannot, for example, do long division until they practice it enough, they are not going to succeed the first time or the second time or the third time, but they will succeed should they practice. So not succeeding means there’s an effort being put out.
Isabella… I’ll tell you what I am really learning from this experience is that the less you harp on something so if I don’t constantly talk to a million people about something it doesn’t give it so much life.
Seth… And there is no weight behind it. In other words, you create a probable self with an incident because you give it tremendous weight, energy if you will.
Isabella… Yeah, and actually things have been better with him since I haven’t been discussing everything with everybody.
Seth… Let us move along.
Isabella… Okay then. It is a good exercise though and my therapist was very proud, she finally agreed with you. (Everyone laughed.)
Seth… Well, I believe that your therapist needs to come to these sessions so she may learn how to do therapy.
Isabella… She would be interested, I am sure. She said to me, she wanted me to explain the whole thing behind it and she made a comment that a lot of the things I say spiritually she really believes in, and she uses it with her other patients.
Seth… Tell her she should also learn to be a proper therapist and if she would like to come here, she can spend four or five years here and then maybe she won’t be as bad as she is. But that is between me and the therapist world.
Under our topic of Change, one of the difficulties that individuals have may simply be classified as an avoidance mentality if you will. You as individuals are all guilty of this difficulty.
Jasmine… The avoidance mentality?
Seth… Correct. You avoid individuals that you do not like. You shun difficulties where it becomes necessary to confront others. Unpleasant situations are made more difficult due to the fact that individuals choose not to become involved in or look at those situations where there is “pain”. (Jasmine asked to catch up with the notes.) The pain that individuals feel stems from fear and since fear is always a futuristic event then your constant worry about “what ifs” takes precedent over the actual reality of the event itself. Therefore, I ask each of you a simple question, why is it that you avoid these type of situations where by doing so you prevent change? Not only do you foster the status quo but you hinder yourself in your ability to create events that you would deem profitable. This is obviously a failure in terms of your ability to judge what the true nature of the event that is causing you difficulty or pain is!
Jasmine… I don’t understand that last sentence, the avoidance of the difficult situation with the pain is a failure in terms of your ability to judge what the true nature of the event that is causing you difficulty or pain?
Seth… If you avoid it, how can you judge it? If you will not look at something… if you will not look at something that causes you difficulty, do you not believe that the universe will provide you increasing opportunities to rectify that difficulty? A clear example of what defined difficulties may be seen in the person who attempts to lessen the effect of an unpleasant situation.
Isabella… Rectifying difficulties may be seen in the person who attempts?
Seth… to rectify an unpleasant situation.
Jasmine… to lessen the effect of an unpleasant…
Seth… situation. A clear example may be seen in my opening remarks to Isabella; things became less weighty.
Isabella… Because I was rectifying them?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Oh, well yeah but that is obvious though. Why wouldn’t rectifying an event or rectifying difficulties…
Seth… What may seem obvious to you now was not obvious to you until I gave you enough difficulty with what you were doing to cause you to change. You made the decision to change. I presented what you needed to do. You could have either have done it or not. When you decided to follow the advice that was given and of course that was your choice the situation became less severe.
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Yet, it was in front of you all of the time.
Isabella… It just seemed so…
Seth… Obvious.
Isabella… Obvious. It seemed so easy and I…
Seth… Because you were not ready to do that.
Stephanie… Oh.
Seth… Does that not sound familiar Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Well, constantly.
Jasmine… It’s that same thing with thought, word, deed. You know when you have an issue and you think about it and obsess about it and obsess about it and then you actually talk to people about it, anybody, everybody who will listen to you. You actually give it life.
Seth… You give it more weight. You provide it with energy so that it has “a life of its own”.
Jasmine… And in some instances, you actually create matter in that way. You create…
Seth… You do, always.
Now, the idea here of not doing something…
Jasmine… Should I write this down?
Seth… Yes. The idea here of not doing something…
Jasmine… Of not trying…
Seth… Not doing something, whether you’re trying to rectify it, whether you are trying to speak about it or you avoid as I started in the beginning to do something.
Jasmine… The idea of not doing.
Seth… Doing something.
Stephanie… Meaning, avoiding.
Jasmine… Okay… Not doing the avoiding?
Isabella… Not doing anything. The idea of not doing anything at all.
Stephanie… Not doing something meaning avoiding.
Jasmine… Avoiding.
Seth… The idea of not doing something creates as many difficulties as the refusal to incorporate a change. An example here is seen clearly with Jasmine’s refusal to work by reading a book. You may make as many excuses and this is not just to you, this is for all, you may make as many excuses for not doing something as you care to but the problems will always exist. One of the great ideas may be seen in the idea that one must love what they hate. All of what I have previously stated may be found within that idea. An example here may be seen with the idea of an individual who routinely lies. They are lying to promote themselves or to avoid doing what they need to do to, to truly make themselves prosperous. They prefer being a victim of themselves. The solution to a liar is to foster the idea that every phrase or idea that they state will be researched preferably immediately and therefore challenged by other individuals. The parent whose child states, “I studied,” should be immediately challenged and tested of their supposed knowledge. The individual who tells tales and promotes themselves is challenged by others who will immediately call to find out if the statement is true or false. Individuals must learn to love themselves before they dislike anything else. If you love what you hate…
Isabella… Could you just repeat that last sentence? (Jasmine, Stephanie and Frank repeated the sentence.) When you learn to love what you hate?
Seth… When you learn to love what you hate there will be less individuals who are discontented, and you will not feel victimized by the outside world.
Isabella… Can I ask a question?
Seth… No. Gandhi stated that one should be the change that you want to see in the world. Individuals in your society and the idea is spreading have difficulty with the idea of quantity verses quality. Salesman routinely use the farcical notion that they don’t make things they way they use to therefore you should buy this. They create situations to entrap the unsophisticated and the uneducated consumer into buying expensive additions to their purchases since they don’t make things the way they use to…
Jasmine… To buy additions…
Seth… to their purchases. Since they don’t make things the way they use to you had better buy some protection for that item. When one looks for quality, one lessens the negativity that surrounds an event. Quality obviously does not mean expensive. What value is there for an individual who finds a true friend? What employer would go ahead and be willing to pay an honest hardworking employee knowing full well that that employee was not the fastest, but he was and is the most diligent? Quality itself promotes change since one must subscribe to the idea that you can always be better and improve upon that which you find unacceptable. When you love what you hate the negativity that you will see that affects you…
Jasmine… When you love…
Seth… what you hate…
Jasmine… what you hate…
Seth… you will see that the negativity that surrounds you is dramatically lessened because you are not allowing those situations to cause you to promote discord. I have stated that one must learn to love and to adore individuals where there is a lack of appreciation and or return of love. Each of you will find individuals that have caused you pain. Your object is to understand that you do not need to be victimized by these type of individuals. You must love them for what they are and not hate them for what they are. Go ahead.
Stephanie… I understand why you would not want to hate them for what they are but why must you love them for what they are?
Seth… What does the word love them mean to you?
Stephanie… Are you talking about the Natural Approach here?
Seth… Yes.
(Jerry’s phone rang to the Star Wars Theme as Betty was calling in and said that she was sorry to be late.)
Isabella… Can you explain what that means so those of us that don’t know what The Natural Approach means?
Seth… Explain that.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) It is an opening of yourself to a… when you are not in the Natural Approach, you’re dealing with… (Seth took the microphone away from Stephanie.) What??
Seth… When an individual… (Frank laughs)
Stephanie… You didn’t like what I was going to say.
Seth… No. When an individual uses their intellect…
Stephanie… I was just going to say that.
Seth… one has certain expectations about the way things should be. When one uses a natural order of things one tends to expand themselves.
Jasmine… When one uses the natural order of things?
Seth… Right, you, for example Jasmine, are very literal. You do not react to events in a casual or carefree way. Animals react to their environment, to the areas where they live by a different form of reasoning than you do. If one is literal, one must always have a precise order of things. The natural person…
Jasmine… Yeah, what is…
Seth… Please stop.
Jasmine… Yeah, but I can’t…
Seth… You will listen to the tape, please stop. The natural person has the ability to expand outward and choose information from a great many sources. You may take something; if I threw crumbs on a table the intellect will tell you to put them in a straight line. The natural person will pick a crumb here of information, a crumb there, some crumbs that are clumped in one area and others crumbs that are clumped in different areas. And in doing so the natural person gets far more out of things than proceeding like a ruler, one which goes to two which goes to three which goes to four. Your intellect itself betrays you for that is what you have taught it and that is what you have limited your thinking to be. Did that answer your question?
Isabella… Ah, yeah, I mean it’s just… a natural order is allowing things to happen without necessarily having a literal definition for it.
Seth… It is much more than that.
Isabella… I understand.
Seth… It is a great deal more than that.
Isabella… Okay.
Now, when you love what you hate you open yourself to the events that swirl about you. You reduce… You have a problem, Frank?
Frank… No, I am understanding, that’s why fear is so….
Seth… Limiting. Fear is limiting…
Frank… For me.
Seth… For all, this is not just for you.
Frank… Yeah, I know.
Seth… This is for all.
You reduce your ability to pick and choose solutions when you react in a linear manner. When you open yourself up you have an expanse of desired outcomes. Your outcomes become unlimited if you will. When your intellect tells you this is the way in which you should do things the chances are that you are leading yourself astray.
In the not doing of things, you prevent yourself from “seeing” that which could serve you well.
(Jasmine asked to repeat in order to take notes)
Seth… Now, if you become what you want to see in the world you will foster change within yourself as well as others.
I believe it is at this point that we will take a break.
(Session break at 9:15)
Seth… Let us continue. Obviously, the subject will require a great deal more study therefore we shall deal with this in different ways so we shall then use the idea of: are there any questions? You may feel free to ask them. Isabella, you may ask whatever question you’d like but you have to come in. (Isabella was in the kitchen.) Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Yes, okay, I wanted to ask about my patient Felicia. (This is a patient that I believe Isabella works with as a tutor as well.) Did you completely give me the answer here with all the lying and what I am to do with her?
Seth… How do you believe the answer was?
Stephanie… Okay but I’m thinking wow that’s so specific to her, but you just chose to use that example to explain it.
Seth… I just chose to use the example.
Stephanie… Okay now here is my next question then. She will hate my living breathing guts and how…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… I’m not understanding the therapeutic value…
Seth… The therapeutic value of what a foolish therapist does is to allow an individual to constantly lie. What are you teaching this individual if they are constantly allowed to lie to you? What would a parent be teaching a child that is constantly allowed to lie to them? What would a boss be teaching an employee if they were constantly allowed to lie to them?
Stephanie… Now she thinks I have no other information so how does she know I know she is lying?
Seth… It’s very simple, what you are telling me does not sound reasonable, I am going to check it. Let us call this person, this person and this person, right now.
Stephanie… Uh huh.
Seth… And now she says don’t do that and you are going to say well why not? If what you told me is the truth I better confront them. That’s what I am here for, I am here to protect you but if you are not telling me the truth then what good am I to you?
Stephanie… And then when she is… then what is she going to say?
Seth… Then she is going to say, well fine I don’t care. Fine, let’s check it out to see if you are telling me the truth.
Stephanie… Right, she always says (I don’t care) it’s her favorite thing.
Seth… When somebody then says I don’t care it really means, I can’t face the issue.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And then you are going to be able to work with that information: Well, this is what this person said; how come you said that if you didn’t really care?
Stephanie… Em hmm, okay. So then how, in what way is she going to want to use my assistance?
Seth… Because you are going to go ahead and say, remember I am on your side. I am doing this to help you, but I can’t help you if you lie because I don’t know what the truth is. It is the same idea as in your fable, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”.
How do I know if the wolf is out there?
Frank… Isn’t she lying a lot more subtly though, like saying I don’t care?
Seth… Of course that’s a lie.
Frank… Of course, but it is much more subtle. It’s like you can’t call somebody a liar…
Seth… Show me how you don’t care, why would you lie about this story.
Frank… So, you call them out and say to them, prove to me you don’t care.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay. Why also is she so driven to want to deny accomplishments and doing well?
Seth… Because if she is doing well that means she is capable of doing it. If you are capable of doing something won’t people expect you to do it?
Stephanie… Okay, why doesn’t she want to be capable?
Seth… Because she would rather have the toothpaste put on a brush, she’d rather have her clothes laid out, she would rather have people take care of her because, “I can’t, I’m a nothing.”
Stephanie… Why does she want to… is she aware… She’s not aware of being a nothing. Is she aware that she is giving herself messages that she is totally incapable
Seth… No, but it doesn’t matter.
Stephanie… She just wants to be catered to?
Seth… She wants, I am the Queen, I am the Goddess of this area therefore you will serve me. And when people don’t or take offense “Well I don’t care.”
Stephanie… Okay then…
Seth… Notice, I am a better therapist than she is. (Meaning Stephanie.) I point that out.
(Jasmine was talking from another room asking about her sense of entitlement… Isabella laughed.)
Seth… If you’d like to join in, please come in.
(Jasmine responded in some way saying she couldn’t.)
Seth… Then I would suggest that you just relax there and forget about it.
(Jasmine said something about just being curious about the girl but still did not choose to come in.)
Stephanie… She was given that.
Frank… Who’s entitled here? (Group Laughter.)
Stephanie… Her parents gave her those, Isabella. (It is unclear what Stephanie is referring to, but it seems to fit in with the girl’s tendency to feel entitled.)
So alright, she gets confronted, and she gets caught with her fingers in the cookie jar.
Seth… Right, and what is your next question.
Stephanie… Why would you lie?
Seth… Correct. “I don’t care.”
Stephanie… She’s going to say I don’t care because she is embarrassed.
Seth… Correct and then what are you then going to say?
Stephanie… Show me how you don’t care?
Seth… Correct… and why was it necessary for you to lie about this? What were you trying to prove?
Stephanie… So, we go along that road versus why is it that when I reflect something positive about you, you quickly turn it around and do negative or not own it?
Seth… Because she doesn’t own it because then that means she is expected to own it.
Stephanie… What would she say because I would have asked her that? How come when I say something that you’ve done well that right away you say, “No I didn’t!”
Seth… Because if she makes it unimportant, she doesn’t have to own it.
Stephanie… But I am just curious as to what would she say about why she wants to take that away and make her look not good.
Seth… Because if she looks not good you cannot expect anything of her.
Stephanie… Right but she wouldn’t say that.
Seth… But she knows that. It is not a question that you are going to get a simplistic answer. (Stephanie said something that was inaudible.) No not at all.
Stephanie… So, I am just going to use the whole lying idea and checking this stuff out.
Seth… Immediately. Something that doesn’t sound correct is to be checked immediately with any liar. For example, when your children tell a lie what do you do?
Stephanie… Well, I will confront them immediately.
Seth… You say, you didn’t do this, you didn’t say this because I know this is what happened.
Stephanie… Right, why would you lie?
Seth… And why would you lie?
Stephanie… Right, because again, I’ll know that for a fact. She’ll say these things and I’ll…
Seth… Such as?
Stephanie… You know these ridiculous things about school and a teacher and this, that and you know.
Seth… Fine, I am going to call your mother, and I am going to immediately call the school and find out if this is true.
Stephanie… Okay, that would of course be the next day because I see her at night. But okay I would say, in the morning I’m going to call your mother.
Seth… No, I am going to call your mother now! Right then, you are not going…
Stephanie… Right then, in session?
Seth… In the session. The longer you leave a space the more working room she has.
Stephanie… She literally speaks lie after lie after lie.
Seth… And if you make thirty calls, you are going to make thirty calls.
Stephanie… Right and…
Seth… And then what you will then do if necessary is to put the mother outside the therapy room in her car, excuse me, let’s bring your mother in and ask the question. And when she finds out that you are going to constantly check upon what she says the question is why are you constantly lying?
Stephanie… Right because she is going to get madder and madder.
Seth… At who? You think it is going to be you, you know it is going to be at herself because she is caught.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Someone who is caught gets angry. They get angry because they are caught. By your “therapeutic session” you allow her to victimize herself.
Stephanie… Em hmm, I can’t bridge the idea of you know how can a therapist be helpful if the patient hates them?
Seth… Who cares?
Stephanie… Well, I don’t understand that idea.
Seth… Do I, for example, care whether Jasmine gets angry at me on any particular session or not? Whether our friend Frank takes annoyance with what I have said?
Stephanie… Yes, but…
Frank… But you have built up a relationship over a long period of time.
Seth… And so has Kaetorina. There is a relationship here whether she knows it or not.
Stephanie… But Jasmine will still come to you and allow you to you know maybe asking questions, this, that, the other. This girl will I think just sit there and want to avoid and not talk…
Seth… Fine, then you will sit there for fifteen or twenty sessions without saying a word.
Stephanie… Em hmm and I should of course not let her have any phone in the session.
Seth… Absolutely not.
Stephanie… Right. And so, I will tell the mother…
Seth… Why tell the mother. By the way I want your cell phone shut off or you are to have your cell phone there the immediate time you have a question upon what she said or what was done that is an immediate phone call.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right. Oh, the second I’m going to start she is going to change her story right away. Because I have confronted her with things, and she starts to change her story.
Seth… Why do you change your story? Why did you lie to me? That’s the next question.
Stephanie… Em hmm, she is going to dread Wednesday nights.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Should I do this with the mother? I should tell the mother this as well.
Seth… So the mother can be prepared.
Stephanie… Well, this about me but I’m just saying what about when she is lying completely with the mother?
Seth… Everyone should check on her.
Stephanie… Everyone should be checking?
Seth… Why allow an individual to lie?
Stephanie… Right and the homework you gave the example as well. I did it so the mother is supposed to…
Seth… And then you see and if she says well, I didn’t want to, why don’t you want to if you know it?
Stephanie… Well, she is going to say you know you are up my you know what.
Seth… Yes, I am and I am up your you know what because you lie and I can’t trust you and the only way I can trust you is to see that you do and are what you say.
Stephanie… So, and that’s why she is not going to be treated as an adult.
Isabella… So, does that mean I have to call her out on her lies also?
Seth… Of course, immediately.
Isabella… Because I avoid that. I avoid calling her out, that’s why she doesn’t hate me. (Stephanie laughs.) Because I let it go.
Frank… That’s where the blackmail is. She is blackmailing you.
Seth… Right.
Isabella… Well, I…
Seth… She blackmails you as our friend Frank says because of the fact that she can and because you are allowing it.
Isabella… Well, I am just there for one purpose.
Seth… You are there to educate.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But you can’t educate if the individual lies and won’t do their work.
Isabella… Right so what is the point of me being there?
Seth… The point of your being there is to give her an opportunity as a teacher.
Isabella… Well, aren’t I done?
Seth… No. (Stephanie laughed.)
Frank… So, on Monday I had a lot of free floating anxiety, I’m wondering what that was about. Did I scare myself with the material that I was reading? (This would have been some spiritual material, a book which I no longer remember what it was. F.N.)
Seth… Yes.
Frank… And it is okay to just continue but go slower, pay attention and just be kind to myself…
Seth… One should always be kind to themselves.
Frank… Yeah, but I might in the past have a reaction, okay now I’m going to read two chapters!
Seth… It is the same foolishness that a person does when they are trying to exercise. Remember, you exercise your mind, your being in the same way you exercise your muscles. If you find that your physical muscles become sore from exercising, do you give them a chance to rest or do you go ahead and force extra work on them?
Frank… No, you are supposed to rest.
Seth… So that the muscle may regroup itself, may grow, may expand. That is the natural order of things. Your mind must also rest, regroup itself and grow. For when your mind does not have an ability to rest, to regroup itself and to grow you are then avoiding the proper exercise that you need to change that which you seek!
Frank… I have a question about a patient that came up from a recent session. I’ve mentioned this patient before, her name is (Blank) and she literally has, she was abused quite a bit. There is part of herself that is abusive to her, and she has divorced herself from this part of herself so much so that she doesn’t recognize it as herself and when she looks in the mirror it’s like the self will talk to her. And I have gone in the direction… and it is very interesting the way she hates because she will pick groups to hate very strongly. And I have been trying to lead her, but I think and this is my question, I have been bridging slowly trying to slowly incorporate the concept that she should not be so unkind to this part of herself…
Seth… You have to go back to where it stems from, the abuse.
Frank… Well, so then the question would be what does this part of you remind you of?
Seth… Correct and let’s assume she hates Puerto Ricans.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Obviously, you just stated you hate Puerto Ricans, my question to you is why? What have the Puerto Rican community done to offend you?
Frank… But it’s tougher than that Seth, because she’s Jewish and she hates Arabs. Everybody in the Gaza Strip should be wiped out and it kind of mirrors how she wants to wipe out part of herself.
Seth… We understand that. Did every Arab in the Gaza Strip hate you? Do they all or is there any one redeeming person there?
(Jasmine said something in jest indicating that the patient would think that all Arabs are bad.)
Frank… She might say something like that.
Seth… Please prove it to me. Show me how your belief system is valid.
Frank… It’s a big challenge to have someone who hates.
Seth… It’s a big challenge for you, I understand this.
Frank… The challenge to me is to lead her to those places is what you are saying. Alright.
Seth… Do you remember a very foolish picture that was recently shown in your theaters, and it was called “Don’t Mess with the Zohan”.
Frank… Yes. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Wasn’t that about Jewish and Arab difficulties where they were being forced to hate each other by an outside influence?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… And you think I don’t know what is going on here. (Group giggles.)
It might be a very interesting discussion to have with her if she has seen the picture and if not, ask her to see it.
Frank… I thought while that picture was extremely foolish, I thought it was clever that he made it so foolish so that he could even put those disparate things together otherwise people might have hurt him. You know the creator (Adam Sandler) of that movie. (To date, January 2016, I have found Seth’s suggestion to use this movie which was a silly farce but did deal with serious issues as one of his more interesting uses of pop culture for therapeutic benefit. I did use his suggestion, resulting in the patient easing up on her tendency to hate others and herself. Not completely as at one point she complained that she did not want to watch “Don’t Mess with the Zohan” for a third or fourth time!)
Seth… You are going off on a tangent and bumping into trees. Try to listen to what I’ve stated.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Yes Kaetorina.
Stephanie… I’m just curious about the whole adoption situation where, is there a special way to work with adopted children? I mean the idea of that there are so many difficulties emotionally whatever seemingly stems from the first rejection and all of that?
Seth… It depends upon how the adoptive parents present the idea or the necessity for the adoption. It could have been as simple as it’s not as if your birth mother and birth father didn’t love you, didn’t want you. It is because they could not provide a stable, healthful, proper environment for you to grow. And the hardest decision that they ever had to make, whether it is true or not matters not, this is in the formative years of a child, was they had to give you up. And if some of the research that “your scientists” are now finding that the openness of informing every child that they were adopted may not have been correct.
Stephanie… At a certain chronological age?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… That holding it back is actually, they can handle the information and then understand it.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… That holding it back is more correct?
Seth… Yes
Stephanie… Interesting. Because many, many parents have presented adoption in exactly the way that you have stated it.
Seth… And the child at seven, eight or nine says Mommy and Daddy didn’t love me.
Stephanie… Right because they cannot process that yet.
Frank… They don’t have the capacity.
Seth… They don’t have the intellectual ability to understand that therefore I must be wrong, I must be bad, I must have done something. It is the same thing for example that a child will do where there is a death of another child in the family. The child often adopts the idea that they were responsible for the loss of that child.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Whether they were or not matters not.
Stephanie… Right, you are speaking to their intellectual ability to understand.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… But I think some of the fear is that if they wait long what if they find out by accident because they were not told. Like, is there an age that you would state?
Seth… The age must be appropriate to each individual. You cannot put at twelve I am going to tell everyone.
Stephanie… Right but what cognitive state…
Seth… The cognitive state should be delayed as long as possible so that the intellectual capacity to understand that they weren’t just given away, they were better chosen than given away and that is an individualistic thing when a child can learn to reason that.
Stephanie… What would be the ages that might come into…
Seth… The ages that may come into that may be as early as six to as late as twenty-five.
Stephanie… How would one know that?
Seth… You have to look at, you are looking for a magical formula here which is not possible.
Frank… So obviously it has to be in the context of the situation.
Seth… Right.
Stephanie… So, you have to look at their ability and their emotional maturity, cognition taken into account.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, this would be something that a psychologist for example could evaluate a child and see what their capacity is and all of that.
Seth… And the best giver of that advice is the parents themselves.
Stephanie… Em hmm, to answer the psychologists’ questions.
Seth… Right, not the child it is the parents who have to be evaluated. What does the child do here, here, here, here, here and here.
Stephanie… But if the psychologist could evaluate the child’s capacity for it, no?
Seth… The capacity is questionable there.
Stephanie… Oh?
Seth… It is an understanding of the concept that you were not thrown out.
Stephanie… Right. So, it is hard, I don’t know how this would get to parents who, I don’t know, you have to catch them early.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So now let’s say I have patients in my practice who are adopted and it’s a disaster then how… should that be in a sense one of the first topics covered and delved into and the whole nine yards with that?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Regardless of whatever else is going on.
Seth… With whatever else is…
Frank… The idea of when you were told and how you were told that you were adopted?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… And for example, when would I even attempt this with this girl Melissa after I confront her with her four million lies, when would I then delve into that whole notion?
Seth… You may delve into it…
Stephanie… Whenever?
Seth… Whenever.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right but clearly this is critical for her and her brother is part of…
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… This is why she is (Word is unclear.) she needs to join with him. It is in the only place that she feels she can relate as to being a nothing.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… There’s a nothing with her.
Seth… Don’t you understand, I don’t care because I am a nothing!
Stephanie… That’s what it really seems like though it’s just not worth it anyway.
Seth… I don’t have to work, do for me, prove to me that I am worth something.
Stephanie… And so is my brother and we are nothing together.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, my real work after this is to challenge the “I am a nothing idea.”
Seth… You may ask a simple question; do you believe you are nothing because you are adopted?
Stephanie… Right whenever I felt ready to go there. Okay, thank you.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Is there something I can read to explore more about the difference between forgiving versus loving what we hate.
Seth… (Took a deep breath.) I believe it is a process not just a reading of forgiving and understanding and learning to love what someone hates. It is more of an openness. Again, I would suggest to you, where your intellect is taking you is in a bad situation. Therefore, my tendency would be to give you the idea that one should read The Magical Approach. How much of my material have you read before this?
Arthur… I’ve read The Magical Approach.
Seth… Have you read other material?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… Okay then you can certainly be advised to read that.
Arthur… And is there anything I am both in a state of avoiding, I go back and forth but it’s sort of a race between fear and lack of self esteem…
Seth… What is the difference between the two?
Arthur… I don’t know.
Seth… Nothing.
Arthur… Okay. So, working on one will help the other.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… I have a question about avoiding too. So, at dinner when I was discussing with the group about working on the family communication and Cyndi had so much difficulty with it, it was essentially just this very thing, the avoiding? She just wants to avoid things that are unpleasant.
Seth… That is correct.
Frank… Okay, um alright, that’s enough for now.
Seth… Let me leave you with this, you want to write this down Jasmine?
Jasmine… Sure.
Seth… I’m not “sure” you can choose to do it or not.
Jasmine… Sure, I said sure.
Seth… If you choose to be the change that you see in the world the question arises, what happens to your wants? Choose quality over quantity and the quality of your existence will give you enough “food” to feed you in whatever situation arises. A hardy good evening to all.
The Story of the Cider Man and Change as a Trust Issue
Tuesday January 6, 2009
8:22 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here again. A few bits of housekeeping that that I believe would be profitable. Isabella, it is very important that you deal with Kaetorina in terms of typing that session, (Seth 392) at least the front portion (The beginning portion of last session was not captured on tape and was recreated from Stephanie’s notes.) and then you can type the back by yourself. You have two weeks. Kaetorina, you have two weeks to do that and accomplish that. Second of all, how is the reading of an assignment for two people… going?
Jasmine… I’m having trouble.
Seth… Are you attempting it?
Jasmine… I attempt it but then I can’t get too far.
Seth… If you would read three or four pages a day it will start making more sense, you are on approximately page thirteen or fourteen. I would like you to go back to page one and start again.
Jasmine… Okay
Isabella… I don’t need to go back right? Because I have been highlighting.
Seth… Then you may…
Jasmine… I already understand what I read through.
Seth… Go back to page one! Go back to page one. We will start with our friend Frank, thank you so much for typing that session. You should feel proud of yourself.
Frank… I still have another one.
Seth… I know, I am aware. If you would like me to not thank you (Frank said no and was laughing.) then I will take it away.
All of that being stated I would like to tell you a story: The story was an essay if you want by Mary S. Kittel. (Seth spelled out the author’s name.) And she describes the following: In the fall of every year when the smell of wool sweaters permeates the air and the thoughts of football start. She goes ahead and goes across country to seek out an individual that she calls the Cider Man. And she also describes her enjoyment of the cider, and as she is driving through the area where the Cider Man lives, she passes some towns, some villages, some old houses, farms, until finally she arrives at the Cider Shack. Where besides selling cider (sweet cider) you can put that in parenthesis, he may sell some apple butter, and a few other assorted items. On the bench or table, if you will, there is a coin box (Someone sneezed, and everyone said bless you Seth said interesting.) where you pay for the items that you have taken.
Isabella… I just heard this story. I just heard this exact story.
Seth… Would you like to continue? (Stephanie laughs.)
Isabella… It is based on the honor system the idea that in this community…
Seth… Let me finish Isabella, you are aware of it.
And so, you go ahead, and you put your coins or dollar bills in the coin box. And she further describes that her favorite time to go to the Cider Shack is at night when the stars are out and you go ahead (Jerry’s phone started ringing the “Star Wars Theme,” it was Betty, Betty said Happy New Year and Frank said Happy New Year.) and through the light from the door you take your purchases. Mary is quite sure that the coin box has been ravaged by teenagers just taking money from the box. She is also quite sure that the adults may have taken a gallon or two and left enough money for only one. Yet the cider man sticks to his traditions. Now the object here is for each of you to try to understand what this story means. What are the implications in a very broad sense if you will of this tale? You do not have to go Isabella because you may have a semi-understanding of this, and you are not to speak.
Isabella… I will not say anything about the story. I remember when I heard it that I thought to myself how important it was for me at the time because it was dealing with issues I was working on.
Seth… Now, would you like to go, Frank?
Jasmine… Can I just ask a question, she comes in and she sees the box has been ravaged?
Seth… No, she didn’t see that the box was ravaged. She is sure that at times the box may have been ravaged by some teenagers, or adults didn’t put their proper money into the box. They took two gallons instead of one.
Jasmine… The Cider Man was never there?
Seth… Rarely.
Jasmine… So, she takes what she wants and leaves the (correct) money. She knows that…
Seth… Yes, but there is more to the implication thereof let’s go on.
Frank… I think that the Cider Man is providing an experience and opportunity, and it is about the honor system, and he is providing an experience for those people because it doesn’t hurt him if the teenagers have not learned and they are taking the change, he is above that. And the same thing with the parents who might take things, it is like, it’s a lesson.
Seth… Jasmine?
Jasmine… I think that he is setting up an experience for people to show their trustworthiness or lack thereof.
Stephanie… I think that I guess the fact that he’s set it up speaks to me about that, that’s an extension of him. So, to me it would give me the idea that he has incredible integrity and that he is very honorable, and I don’t know whether he sets it up for others to do whatever they’re going to do.
Seth… How many of you have seen, for example, Halloween when the adults are no longer there, and they leave a whole large bowl of candy outside with a little note that says please leave enough for others and mostly teenagers will take everything that’s there. This essay, if you will, is obviously about trust issues, but on a greater scale under our subject of Change it is why change itself is in reality a trust issue. A further part of the essay itself and I will paraphrase it from here on in, basically shows that individuals who would see a neighbor’s horse would take the horse back and re-lock the gate to prevent the loss of the animal. It shows the caring one has for another and that city folk, country folk are in reality bound together. When one develops a proper sense of trust the beauty of your humanity is allowed to grow and to flourish. Change itself cannot be accomplished in the vacuum of fear and suspicion.
The more you look for something that you perceive as being wrong and I shall quote a great author on this, myself, the more you will manifest the disastrous results that you are afraid of. The old expression seek and you shall find clearly demonstrates the idea that fear, greed and suspicion work together to prevent change itself. The above three cause one to maintain the status quo. Individuals fail because they become over involved with a lack of trust primarily with themselves! If you cannot trust yourself then whom can you trust?
Do you have a problem with that Isabella? What is your problem?
Isabella… Um, I am obviously in the throes of a trust issue right now. I’m sure you will prove me wrong, however I don’t see my trust or lack of trust in him as having anything to do with the fact that I don’t trust myself.
Seth… Of course, you don’t. One because, as your statement clearly demonstrates you are in the throes of a trust issue, that is the first statement of fact. The second statement of fact is that you do not believe that you yourself are capable or worthy of leaving a coin box on a bench. The reason for that….
Isabella… Meaning, allowing myself just to be open, to be there for the taking so to speak.
Seth… Correct. You don’t trust yourself with that. You want things done to prove; therefore you don’t trust. (Isabella agreed.) You don’t trust you to believe that you are worth anything and since you don’t believe that how can you trust someone else not to betray you? (Isabella agreed.) You (with Tommy) have very similar problems.
Isabella… I’m not saying that.
Seth… I’m just adding that in for your own information.
What bothers you, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Nothing.
Seth… Yes, it does and that’s a lie!
Jasmine… It’s ridiculous; I’m just trying to understand something that you said about Isabella. I don’t understand the point of putting me in it.
Seth… Because if you do not trust yourself and you project your views upon her then it’s your problem.
Jasmine… Why am I projecting my views upon her?
Seth… Because you have done this for quite some time. Your involvement, which is unnecessary at times with her happiness, makes you unhappy because you cannot or will not trust yourself to allow Isabella the freedom to fail. Do you understand? (Jasmine agreed.)
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… You don’t like it, but it is factual.
Isabella… If the issue is more about the fact that I… I’ve been using …. I’ve been trying to use what you said about the fact that in the foreseeable future nothing that… he will do nothing wrong is basically in my head.
Seth… I did not say that he will not do anything wrong. I stated that for the foreseeable future it is your perception that matters. And your perception is doing something that is incorrect. Most of you “therapists”, “teachers” must use the idea that the perception of one individual towards another when there is a lack therein…
Isabella… Of trust.
Seth… Anything; immediately starts forming my Triad Personality. (Information on The Triad Personality may be found in sessions 385 and 386.) You become suspicious…
Isabella… Fearful.
Seth… Fearful.
Isabella… Anxious.
Seth… You may list any of these types of difficulties as you have.
Isabella… Angry.
Seth… Angry, anger goes along with the wider the void the greater the anger.
Isabella… But it is not just anger at…
Seth… It is always anger at yourself.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… So, when I tell you, when I speak of the fact that for you it is your problem and not his it is then a completely factual statement. The delusion that somebody, the delusion that somebody, patient, student can do nothing wrong means that you are projecting an individual who is perfect. Since there is no one perfect the failure rate of that idea becomes monstrous. You are creating that which you can never achieve and since you can never achieve it, meaning perfection and the person that you are projecting those thoughts towards can never achieve it, you again become angry, frustrated, disappointed which then causes one to re-look at the other and find more fault. Therefore, what you fear most and worry about you will in fact have created. Therefore, again you are the one who has the true problem.
Isabella… So, it is the idea that because you are focusing on it, you are creating it, you’re looking for it and then all of a sudden there it is provided in another test let’s just say from the universe, obviously. And so, it is a projection of what I’m thinking in my head or anybody for that matter what their projecting of somebody else.
Seth… It is always been in general the trust issue becomes manifest as somebody over here knows. (Referencing Stephanie.)
Isabella… So how do you trust, do you just have to have faith that it’s not going to hurt or that someone’s not going to hurt you?
Seth… I would suggest that you change the word have “faith” into the word “belief”. If you have faith in someone the likelihood of having a Ponzi scheme fostered upon you… (Belief verses faith issues have been mentioned numerous times early on in sessions in reference to Jerry’s difficulties with accepting his own psychic abilities and the accuracy of the Seth material itself. Belief verses faith would become a major topic of study for the group starting on August 11, 2009, apparently as a result of a question on the topic by Stephanie.)
Isabella… A Ponzi Scheme?
Frank… That’s like what Madoff did.
Isabella… Oh.
Seth… You may spell that for her. (Which Frank did.) Correct.
…fostered upon you. Read out loud that to me again.
Isabella… If you have faith in someone the likelihood of a Ponzi Scheme fostered upon you…
Seth… Fostered upon you is likely since faith has no beginning or no end. A belief system is closed-ended and does not require an absolute adherence to an idea, thought or feeling.
Frank…. And that is why so many people were taken advantage of by Madoff?
Seth… Yes, we can skip that, that is nonsense at this point.
So, if you have belief in someone and you ask specifically how does one do this because the ability to allow yourself to fail.
Jasmine… How do you…?
Seth… What are you missing Jasmine?
Jasmine… I’m lost. I don’t understand how people got taken in (There was more of an exchange by Jasmine that was not audible.)
Seth… They will explain it to you as…
Jasmine… A belief system…
Seth… Because they had faith in this man that has no beginning and no ending (Jasmine agreed.) If they had a belief in him that he would do something correct for them, it gives them the ability to challenge, to look and to examine that which is going on.
Isabella… Because faith is…?
Seth… Limitless.
Isabella… So, you just believe?
Seth… No, you just have faith.
Isabella… Have faith. So, when you believe?
Seth… There is no adherence to a specific idea or pattern of beliefs if you will. So, there is no ability to challenge…
Isabella… So, if you believe in somebody then you can challenge that?
Seth… And when you believe in somebody if you are hurt that is an acceptable outcome since the greatest gift you can give to yourself is the ability to fail. It is when one has been hurt; when one has been victimized one needs to try again. Now, the old adage is true what should one do when one falls off a horse? The answer is clear; you get back on the horse. You don’t leave things go. The belief is that I can find somebody who will cherish and nurture me. If this individual succeeds, then he may become a life long player. If he fails, one must examine the reasons why he fails and why you are hurt. One, important now, must never expect in a proper belief system; one must never expect in a proper belief system that which the other finds impossible to give. In other words, you cannot force a person to be or to become that which you expect them or demand from them, to be!
Isabella… What if your expectations, what if you belief that your expectations are too high?
Seth… Change them. Do you see how change fits here?
Isabella… Because in my head of what I expect a man to do for me, okay, any man, not Tommy, not anybody are so almost unrealistic, the idea of the constant reassurance, the constant this, the constant that because that’s what I feel a lack of within myself. The expectation that I have is so great that nobody will ever be able to live up to that.
Seth… What are you telling yourself?
Isabella… Umm, what am I telling myself?
Seth… What are you telling yourself?
Isabella… That I need to lower my expectations?
Seth… No, what are telling yourself by that statement.
Isabella… Oh, that I require…
Seth… That you want somebody to care for you always.
Isabella… Correct.
Seth… Under any system or set of circumstance.
Isabella… That’s right. (Said in a self-deprecating manner.)
Seth… And therefore, you are asking somebody to be perfect. Go back to my original statement.
Isabella… Right and just looking at the Tommy situation…
Seth… Do you see how change cannot occur in an area of anger and deception and fear?
Isabella… I think this is more of an ability for me to change. I think this is a challenge for me.
Seth… Where must change first occur?
Isabella… Within yourself.
Seth… With self.
Isabella… Because I think that ultimately…
Seth… Where must trust first appear?
Isabella… Within self.
Seth… This whole discussion this evening, this whole lecture this evening is about self learning to trust. You cannot change unless you trust yourself enough to make yourself different.
You cannot change without allowing yourself the luxury of becoming something that you are not.
Isabella… Can I ask a question?
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… So…
Seth… Do you understand (Isabella said she did.) the principle of the story why the narrow view of it was simply about trust but the overall view, the true meaning of the story is truly about self. The Cider Man loved himself enough…
Isabella… That it didn’t matter…
Seth… That he did not need the validation for anyone else to be honest. The lesson was there, be honest, be straightforward, do what is proper and if you don’t it is no problem for me.
Isabella… They have to live with it.
Seth… Correct, go ahead.
Isabella… Uh huh. So, in this case, obviously with Tommy there is a tremendous amount of learning for me and about me not being the center of his universe which is obviously set up for a purpose.
Seth… But you may be the center of his universe, but you are not his only priority.
Isabella… No, I know that, but I have to be okay with that and I want to be able to change. And I want to be able to change the idea that I don’t necessarily need him to constantly reassure me.
Seth… Let’s ask a simple question…
Isabella… Because, because… yeah.
Seth… Stop…stop. Let’s ask a simple question; when you go ahead and you ask someone you said this, you said this, I thought of this, I thought of that, the question is why are you asking anyone but yourself? Because you don’t trust yourself enough… What are you missing Frank? (Frank said something inaudible and laughed.) You do not trust yourself enough that you must seek advice and answers, not that that is incorrect, but you become so dependent upon others that the “you” falls by the wayside.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… It is not that I would not have you ask; I would not do that to you. (Isabella said something else like “I find it difficult.”)
But you do understand.
Getting back to our… (To Jasmine who was away from the table.) You missed quite a bit. I will finish up with this. Notice here Jasmine, you are so concerned for her missing something that you project that fear outward. My question to you is how much of these notes are truly accurate?
Isabella… George is asking where she is. (This is referring to George who was on the phone and whose dog got out of the house and he was searching for her.)
Seth… She is wandering around the streets towards the park. (Isabella repeated this to George.) And she should, not a guarantee, but she should okay eventually should she decide to, make her way home. (Isabella again repeated this and was giving George assistance on the phone.)
Again, it is the projection, Jasmine that you do that causes you great dis-ease. You missed quite a bit of important material. I hope your typing fingers are good because you just volunteered to do that. (Stephanie giggled a bit.)
Isabella… I’m still having… I know that trust is a major thing.
Seth… Yes, for two people here not for you. (Referring to Jerry and Stephanie.) Not for you. (Stephanie giggled again.)
Isabella… Not for me? Then why am I having such difficulty with it now?
Seth… Because you are not having difficulty, you are projecting the idea of trust…okay?
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… on to yourself instead of going ahead and learning to be happy.
Isabella… I know! I’m totally doing that!
Seth… We shall move along.
Isabella… No, I’m serious! I know that’s exactly what I am doing. I’ve never sabotaged the way I am sabotaging now.
Seth… Well, that is certainly a deception and a lie.
Isabella… Well, I feel it, maybe I am more aware of it now.
Seth… Fair enough.
Isabella… So, I am much more aware that I am sabotaging this whole thing which is totally going to be my fault. I am going to ruin this great relationship because I don’t trust. So, how do you get past it?
Seth… Were you here? Did you take notes?
Isabella… I have to learn to change into something else.
Seth… I would hate to make you type this session as well as the one with Kaetorina. So far, she has volunteered to do that.
Isabella… No, I understand what you are saying about changing…
Seth… Aren’t you glad Frank? (Yes, but somehow, I am the one typing up the end of this session. F.N.)
Isabella… About changing and trusting yourself and that that becomes the important piece. But I think for me it’s the fear. But there is no reason why I feel I need the constant reassurance; it is not necessarily a trust thing but fear.
Seth… Triad Personality. (The Triad Personality is the triangle explained by Seth in session 385 involving love/hate and the expectations of self place on the loved one which can create and expand voids)
Isabella… But fear that I am going to get hurt again.
Seth… So what?
Frank… It is the idea of the three things fear, greed, suspicion for you is fear.
Isabella… Right.
Frank… How can you change if you have so much fear?
Isabella… Right.
Frank… If you have so much fear it is getting in the way of you making the change, so you have to work at reducing the fear, reducing the suspicion…
Isabella… Right, that’s the…
Frank… because you are bordering a little bit on paranoia.
Isabella… You think?
Frank… I do. And then you will be able to foster…
Stephanie… Pick up on that in the session.
Seth… Let me put it this way; the people at the table next to you were commenting on, “The girl is paranoid.”
Isabella… Well, I am totally paranoid.
Seth… And you are proud of this?
Isabella… No! Obviously not I’ve lost ten pounds from this whole thing already.
Stephanie… Really?
Isabella… I have. I am going to sit with this.
Seth… I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break was taken at 9:03.)
Seth… A clear indication of trust issues is certainly evident with Frances (Jasmine’s mother.) and her heart problem. She believes that her children if there for the procedure will make everything fine. This of course is foolhardy. Now, if you place your faith in your children’s ability to heal you, it is certainly detrimental to yourself but more so to them, for you place a burden on them that can never be filled.
Change again, must come from within and you must be able to trust yourself enough so that it does not matter if someone takes an extra gallon or two of cider.
Are there any questions or comments?
Isabella… Is it more than just trusting yourself? Because you said trust enough so someone can take an extra gallon or whatever and it won’t matter. Isn’t it also more about like loving yourself and cherishing yourself and being okay that…
Seth… It is all part of the same thing. You are just describing it differently.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… I could say simply that the same idea would be true if you went ahead and stated you could not be happy unless you allowed someone else to take an extra gallon of cider or two or the teenagers took what they shouldn’t have. No matter what you describe it is always from within the self to grow and to prosper. Your growth and prosperity must never become dependent upon someone else’s thoughts and feelings. It is your responsibility to grow, to make something more than what you are and unless you take responsibility for that which occurs then of course you cannot succeed. Does that make sense to you now?
Isabella… Kind of.
Seth… What kind of do you not understand?
Isabella… Well, I guess it’s the idea that you have to take responsibility for actions…
Seth… Or for inaction.
Isabella… Right and I guess that has to do also with taking responsibility with understanding and having belief in someone else. That that’s part of you and not necessarily from what they are projecting and being okay with who you are and what you want…
Seth… Are you allowed as an individual to make an error?
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… Why isn’t someone else?
Isabella… They are allowed except… they are allowed…
Seth… Not from your perspective.
Isabella… Well, it’s from my perspective of when I feel hurt by their mistake.
Seth… I would like you to…
Isabella… And how do I know it’s a mistake and how do I know…
Seth… Let’s assume that it is.
Isabella… But how do I know that it isn’t and not a purposeful thing?
Seth… That’s all the same.
Isabella… Okay?
Seth… Something that is done to hurt is an error.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… No matter how you classify that, what you feel about it is still… it is an error and if you are allowed to make an error and it hurts someone isn’t someone else allowed the same luxury? (Isabella was silent.)
Not according to you.
Isabella… Well…
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… I have another question. Can I ask about sarcasm?
Seth… How do you define it?
Isabella… Umm, it’s a pseudo…
Seth… Go upstairs now, we’ll answer some other questions, go find a dictionary and come down and read.
Stephanie… Okay let me understand, the idea of the Cider Man who takes no issue with anybody’s stealing the money, not putting enough in, all of that stuff, that’s because the trust issue there is that he knows that can’t touch him? He trusts himself that he provides his own prosperity?
Seth… He has made a belief system to show others what a neighbor is.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… So, his belief system is there. Nobody is going to shake his belief system from him and because you are not going to detour him from that belief system whose problem does it become if you rob, if you cheat?
Stephanie… Right, she does.
Seth… And they have to live thinking that he’s the fool, especially teenagers, when who is the fool?
Stephanie… The teenagers and people who steal.
Seth… Correct, you understand the difference.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Can you apply it to what goes on with you?
Stephanie… Yeah, that’s why I’m asking. It’s like the idea that mistakes that occur or hurtful things. You’re saying that the trust is if you trust in self to be all you need it doesn’t matter what mistakes are around you even if they affect you negatively.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… That you are still in charge of you, and we would work around them.
Seth… Correct. It is their problem, but you make it yours.
Stephanie… Right, and that is the lack of trust right there.
Seth… Correct but we have covered this for years.
Stephanie… Yeah. (Laughs.)
Seth… I still see there is a long road for you to walk down.
Stephanie… Well, there is a glimmer speck of light.
Seth… I wouldn’t say glimmer. (Stephanie is laughing.) Certainly, speck would be a little too much. And that Isabella was sarcasm.
Isabella… Yes, a taunting, sneering…
Seth… Excuse me, sarcasm?
Isabella… A taunting, sneering, cutting or caustic remark, jibe or jeer, generally ironic. Sarcastic means of having the nature of occurrence sarcasm, sneering, caustic, cutting and so forth. Sarcastic implies intent to hurt by taunting with mocking ridicule.
Seth… It can be. Now your question?
Isabella… I think I’m taking his sarcasm personally.
Seth… And the question is?
Isabella… Tommy is extremely sarcastic. That is his personality. That’s his humor. Now…
Seth… Why is someone sarcastic?
Isabella… That’s what I want to know. (Group laughs.)
Seth… I asked the question first! Therefore, you are the one who has to answer it.
Isabella… Well, I’ve been asking so I don’t think this is my definition. I think it is what I have heard from other people; it’s that somebody is sarcastic in order to cover up their own insecurities…
Seth… Because?
Isabella… Because they feel uncomfortable about something, so they tend to be sarcastic to…
Seth… Shift.
Isabella… Okay, to shift the meaning. So, in the comment that he made about the boys because I said… he wrote me the text about two little boys say hi…
Seth… What are you really asking when you respond…
Isabella… No. I said thank you so much that was such a nice text.
Seth… What are you really asking?
Isabella… For him to say again that the boys like me?
Seth… You are really asking, and it certainly may be true…
Isabella… For reassurance?
Seth… Ah! That they really do. So, the question is…
Isabella… Yeah?
Seth… So, the question is why?
Stephanie… That it was real.
Seth… That’s right you don’t trust that it was real.
Isabella… So okay, so he obviously knows that I do that.
Seth… Correct. So, he mocked you.
Isabella… Screw him. So, he… this is why he is sarcastic with me because he knows he can be.
Seth… And because you’re not learning.
Isabella… Don’t you shake your head at me, fool. (Not sure who that was directed at, Isabella laughs.) So, this is his way of kind of trying to teach me in a weird kind of way because…
Seth… Not a weird kind of way. He’s telling you that if you are going to go ahead and be stupid, he can be stupid.
Isabella… Okay, so that’s why he is doing it?
Seth… Move along. Are there any other questions?
Frank… A “patient” question. I am having a lot of difficulty with the same couple. (Asked about previously.) I am actually concerned whether they will come back or not and they are so abusive to each other verbally in terms of their tone and I was wondering if you could give me some help with them. One of the things I was thinking about trying was, if they come back, taping them and letting them hear the way they sound because they just can’t seem to get past this.
Seth… Can’t seem or won’t?
Frank… I think they are refusing, won’t. Won’t!
Seth… Why?
Frank… Because they want it, each wants it their way.
Seth… Each one wants to win.
Frank… They want to win.
Seth… And so, the question is why do they want to win? And what you then have to do is to first not only see them as joint effort, but it is also mandatory to see them as a separate entity onto themselves so that they may correctly or fearlessly if you will express what their anger is. So, until their anger is released, they must win. There is no possibility of a compromise. You understand?
Frank… So again, with the triad, the anger has to come down and what I should be doing is to see them individually.
Seth… And together. In other words, if you saw one individual one week, one individual the second week…
Frank… And then together in the third.
Seth… Correct. Or profitably for them it would be one, two, three sessions a week.
Frank… Three sessions, if they would agree to that.
Seth… Or any other way. One, one week, one together one the other week, one together. In other words what I am saying is you would see them twice a week. One the husband then together one the wife and then together. At least in this respect there is more of a continuity.
Frank… So, either twice a week and one switching.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… And then I am caught up with that they are so mean to each other and I feel badly that…
Stephanie… In session?
Frank… Yes, in session. I get up and I say stop! I am very directive, very much and I am almost feeling like, you know, if they are going to fail, I mean I am hired to make them not fail but maybe, maybe they should fail. But that should not be my concern, I just need to work as hard for what they hired me for originally and if they do, they do. And yet I would, I would take it a little personally.
Seth… It seems to me the question is why would you be so foolish to even do that? (There was apause as Seth tapped to indicate to take notes.) You are making their play yours and therefore you fail. Were you here for tonight’s session?
Frank… Yes, I was. (Frank laughed. Stephanie was perhaps reacting to length of session.)
Seth… (To Stephanie.) Would you like to type the next two? You can exchange it two for one!
Stephanie… No because he is going to ask a lot of questions.
Seth… Two for one!
Frank… (Laughing.) I am not going to ask that many questions, Stephanie.
I… That is why I said that in as tentative manner as I do but still it is a feeling and it is actually a feeling with many of my patients because you would like to see them do well. And if they are not doing well, you think you are not doing as good a job as you could be.
Seth… Let’s put it into a simplistic effect, cause and effect. I believe you know what an oncologist is?
Frank… Cancer specialist.
Seth… How many patients do they cure?
Frank… (Laughed.) Very few unfortunately.
Seth… I believe you have your answer. Thank you
Frank… You know I very much understood that in working with the mentally ill but that was the nature…
Seth… What do you think this couple is?
Frank… Well, they are more, whacked!
Seth… They are mentally ill in their desire to win.
Frank… They are not mentally ill in the same way as the population that we worked with. They are in a very severe way with what they are doing but it is not same.
Seth… You are trying to define the term foolishly. I am using your terminology.
Let’s move it along. Are there any other questions?
Then let me leave you with this: The idea of trust is to learn to appreciate yourself, first! You are not writing this down? To learn to appreciate yourself first. In doing so, you find that your wants and needs will become apparent, and change becomes possible. Each of you has within themselves the ability to foster the change upon themselves first and not project that which you believe are the failings of another back upon that other individual. Change yourself and the world will change around you. A hardy good evening to all.
The Story of the Preacher and Propping Yourself Up
Tuesday December 2, 2008
8:35 PM
Seth… Good evening and a little bit of housekeeping first and of course as always it is a pleasure to have all of you here. (The beginning portion of the session was re-created from Stephanie’s notes because part A on the tape was erased.)
There was an old preacher man who has a congregation in a farm district and has been giving Sunday sermons for the last fifty years. Every week the reviews that have been given to him are always excellent and rarely has he ever heard someone disagree or disapprove of what his lecture was. One day a young parishioner came over to him and said, “I’m amazed that even for the four years that I have been attending Sunday services each sermon is inspiring. How do you do this?” This is where the first question of the evening starts. The preacher turned to the young congregant and stated, “Many years ago, I have and still have my own barn on my property and I noticed one day that the barn was starting to tilt to one side. I immediately went out and on the side the barn was tilting towards, I propped it up with strong pine and the barn has remained true and steadfast through all of the difficult storms that have raged about it and after some time I realized that I was just like the barn. I too leaned and needed propping up and I found that there was only one true person who could prop me up and that of course was myself. So, my sermons are in effect my attempt to prop myself up which leads to the second question of the evening. It is why do each of you routinely fail to prop yourself up?
One to prop themselves up needs to change their outlook. When individuals choose love they seek it from outside sources i.e., friend, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. The view is away from themselves. When you seek love from an outside source, there are always limitations as to what you can expect from that outside source. These limitations are dependent upon the character and the nature of that particular outside source. The difficulty here is that your expectations tend to expand and as they expand you are pushed further and further away from that which you truly seek.
It should be noted here that I am not stating that these other individuals do not provide needed assistance. They cannot give you all that you need or require since they themselves have their own limitations. How often has it been said that someone cannot give anymore. If you cannot give, then what do you expect to be returned to you since in reality you are demanding a return for your investment? When one makes demands on others, the tendency is to become angry when they cannot fulfill your true desires. When one needs to change to prop themselves up, one must first look inward toward themselves. It then becomes necessary for you to take stock and evaluate your own portfolio. The first question you ask is, how are my investments doing? What do I sell? What do I hold on to? But the most important question is simple. What do I need to buy? It is the faith that one develops in themselves that gives them the greatest return for your “money.” The love that you give yourself is in reality the freedom to explore. Which course of action is best? Why am I repeating the same type of investment that I know routinely pays little? These are the types of questions that if you love yourself, one needs to ask. This type of effort allows you to expand yet you will be anchored solidly to where you need to be when something unpredictable happens and you are not prepared then, of course, one tends to be thrown as if one was riding a bucking bronco. One is tossed from side to side and eventually desperately seeks answers from others. The other here may only be a signpost. They may give you a map so you can navigate the uncharted path that lays before you. It is routine that events do not move in a predictable fashion. One should never expect the road of life to be straight. Each sharp turn, each upgrade, each slope downward provides you with an opportunity to choose love over fear. How have you propped yourself up to withstand the gale force winds of change? What measures have you taken to provide yourself a safe respite from the storm of life? Are you routinely reacting in the same fashion as always done? Do the same individuals hurt you over and over again? What have you done to ensure your own success?
As our preacher told the barn is still standing. It may lean one way, or another, yet it stands the test of time and allows you to prosper, love yourself so that change becomes easier. Enjoy the winds that push you along and set you on an ocean voyage of life that will allow you to move safely from port to port.
(A break was taken.)
Seth… Let us continue. I believe each of you must go ahead and examine yourself in detail so that you may effectively love yourself and give to yourself in a proper manner. This task is not an easy one. When one shirks from their responsibilities towards themselves the universe of course provides you with ample opportunity to test yourself in ways that you cannot imagine. For example, Jasmine, I have told you that reading a book will give you insight into yourself. When is the last time you picked up the book and studied it? I do not mean read it. I meant studied it.
Jasmine… I haven’t been able to.
Seth… I am aware. Isabella, when is the last time you have studied that book?
Isabella… Well, I have a lot going on.
Seth… I find no reason to accept that even as a poor answer. For example, do you have the time to read two pages a day to study them, to pour over them and to detail them for all of the fifteen minutes that it would take you?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And the same would be true of course with Jasmine. So, these areas that you push away make it far more difficult for you as an individual to prosper and you wonder why you still wait for a phone call. You wonder why I am not doing it. Well, the question is, you must love yourself properly before you can expect others to love you. Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Is this the same information as the session you had with packing your suitcase?
Seth… No, packing your suitcase is when you know something is going on.
Stephanie… Oh, when you know something is going on…
Seth… When you see it coming.
Stephanie… Like the Florida thing Jasmine was…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So then…
Seth… A great deal of this is; how do I exist for five, ten, fifteen, twenty years? Remember the original story; the pastor had been giving inspirational lectures for over fifty years. How did he do this? You can’t routinely give a story or a lecture week after week after week and have individuals state that was inspirational, that was an excellent bit of information without loving yourself enough to provide the help that you need to get through.
Stephanie… You are talking about digging deep into your pockets to constantly change with the times?
Seth… What are your investments? How are they paying off?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand? Are you doing things that routinely are detrimental to your own psyche? For example, the person who over-eats, the person who bites their fingernails, the person who goes ahead okay and is constantly critical of others, the person who decides to examine everything without a purpose for the examination, the individual who gets away by saying, “Ah! I was just too tired, too busy, too lazy, to do something.” These do not prop you up; these in fact mire you down. These cause you great difficulties. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right, so what gives the pastor the strength to a…
Seth… Because he learned to love himself. If I love me then I can withstand and I can change what I can and what I can’t, I will allow to pass through me.
Do you understand?
Stephanie… That is really the key of how the patterns repeat.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… By investing in the other when you can’t.
Seth… Correct. Don’t invest in someone else, don’t let another routinely distract you from your path.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… Am I allowed to ask?
Seth… Of course, did I not speak to you?
Isabella… Are you really not talking to me?
Seth… Why would there be a purpose for me to speak to you? What useful purpose would that have served you?
Isabella… Well, I am sure there are other things I could have benefited from without asking questions.
Jasmine… What last week were we talking about?
Seth… When you give your word, and your word means nothing, why should words be given to you?
Isabella… Yeah, but there were plenty of other times and other people that have not followed through and yet you don’t treat them the same way.
Seth… I treat people the way they require treatment.
Isabella… I mean, I thought not speaking to me was a little strange.
Seth… I warned you; I am a very harsh teacher; worse than you.
Isabella… Okay. Can you give me some advice and I have been doing very well in this pseudo new relationship. And now I am starting to…
Seth… Be careful of what you are asking now.
Isabella… Why?
Seth… You will understand, continue on.
Isabella… And now I am all of a sudden having difficulty. I really was doing well. I’m handling it well and now all of a sudden, I’m having difficulty with the, I’m testing and the examinations and it’s very similar to the typing I just did. But it is all of a sudden starting to repeat. And so, I am curious, and I am trying to talk to myself and do all of the strategies you gave me last time but I am still kind of bugging out a little bit about it. This idea of the phone call and you know I can talk myself down, but I am still having trouble and I’m just, I would like some insight at this point.
Seth… Well, the insight first of all, one you are not going to like. This session if you will is certainly apropos to you. Our friend Frank made a mistake of asking about last week’s session. This session, yes, how long would you like to type it for, and we are going to hold you to your word.
Isabella… I’m not answering because if I answer I am going to have to type it.
Seth… You have to type it now so you might as well get the best out of it you that can.
Isabella… Whatever I can…
Seth… Why don’t we make a simple statement since you have enough time between now and our first meeting in the New Year. I strongly recommend for some very obvious reasons that you routinely type this session as quickly as you can. For within its pages, you will find answers to your questions. That is the reason why I told you to be careful of what you asked for. Do you understand? In the strategy of what you are doing to yourself, you are not preparing yourself for that which you require. If you truly learned to love yourself, would it matter if your individual “boyfriend” was too busy too call you? Not at all but when you do not love yourself enough the change that you seek to make is a Mount Everest when in reality it is a small hill.
Do you understand? Yes, you can speak. (Isabella laughs and the rest of the group laughs as well.) Do you understand?
Isabella… I don’t really understand how I feel it is a mountain, so I don’t understand how it is a small hill.
Seth… Because what you are doing is you magnify the problem. When you are looking to another and this is in this session to solve that what you require all you are doing is expanding your expectations of that which you believe you need from loving self to fear that you are not getting it, and your anger grows. And since your anger is growing what you then do is magnify and increase the hill. So what appears to you as difficulty is simply solved because if you loved yourself enough you would say, he must be so busy or have so many problems that he can’t contact me or maybe a good idea would be for me to give of myself to lend him assistance such as I hope your day was as beautiful as I think you are. I hope your day was easy.
Isabella… I did do that.
Seth… And he does not have to answer. Did you do it at the end of the day?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And does he have to answer you? Or is it enough for him to know that you were caring?
Isabella… It’s enough for him to… The reason why I am having difficulty is because the pattern has shifted; now the idea of the attention has shifted.
Seth… How long has this pattern been shifted?
Isabella… (Laughs.) Very briefly.
Seth… Oh! So, then it is not factual.
Isabella… But the break from the pattern is what through me off.
Seth… The unpredictability of life, that is in this session. That is why you will type this session and do not wait to type this session. For if you are not finished with this session by next week and you should a great burden might be lifted from your shoulders.
Isabella… The burden of having to type the session? (Tone is kidding.)
Seth… No, the burden of what you do to yourself.
Isabella… I’m almost getting angry.
Seth… Who are you really angry at?
Isabella… Me. I know that I am angry at me.
Seth… Then stop! That’s enough because you are not loving yourself. You are not allowing change to happen. You want it your way and only your way.
Isabella… And the rational side of my head tells me, I know he is busy. He’s opening a restaurant. I shouldn’t expect to be the center of attention.
Seth… But what do you “want” and what are you getting? The want.
Isabella… And he has given me no other reasons that he wouldn’t, you know.
Seth… It matters not, even if he said to you, you have perspiration odor, and I don’t like the way you smell. It matters not because this is a self-induced problem. So, the more you dwell on it the more angry you become, the more you sabotage what you are, the more you push him away. And this is the reason why in general friendships fail, relationships fail, marriages fail because of what you just described. So, I would suggest you take the time typing this session.
Isabella… May I ask about the vanity piece for a minute?
Seth… Certainly.
Isabella… Why am I having such a negative thing about it?
Seth… Because do you love yourself enough to get past it? It is not a his problem, this is a your problem.
Isabella… Why is this, my problem because I can’t get past the balding hair?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… But why, how…
Seth… What is it that you are really saying? What will others think of me? Therefore, how about the fact that he makes you laugh, does that matter? It does matter?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Oh, that’s positive. How about the fact that you always have something to speak to him about? How about the fact that he shares? How about the fact that your interests are the same? How about the fact that you don’t love yourself enough and this is a major examination for you. But don’t type up the session quickly.
Isabella… I know this is a big test.
Seth… Let me ask a simple question. The man through whom I speak is obviously overweight; I am not saying anything that would hurt his feelings. Yet if we were to go around this table and ask do you truly “love this man,” how many people here would say, no they don’t? So, looks have nothing to do with it. It is the personality behind the problem. And remember if someone…
Isabella… Why am I getting so emotional?
Seth… Because I am hitting home to a very serious nature.
Isabella… But I don’t understand what I am emotional about it all of a sudden.
Seth… When you figure it out but don’t type this session. Take your time, be lackadaisical or will you have a burden lifted? Do you understand?
Isabella… You mean as to why I got emotional?
Seth… Yes, you got emotional because the truth of the matter is that are you afraid to really let yourself… (Isabella became more upset.) Well, that answered that question.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Let yourself go. Remember sabotage works effectively.
(A question was asked.) I’m not sure I even love myself, which of course the therapists here in this room and her own therapist here have sort of missed the mark.
Do you understand?
Isabella… Me?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Yeah. (Isabella was emotional throughout the last several exchanges.)
Seth… So, the question here arises, can you love yourself enough to do what you don’t want to do and that is to type this session quickly. Let us see if you can put it together by next Tuesday. You have till the first meeting in January. Let us see if you truly learn to love yourself.
Are there any other questions? Yes, Betty go ahead.
Betty… Can you recommend a book?
Seth… For you?
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… The Nature of Personal Reality.
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Okay?
Betty… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just want to be clear the vanity that Isabella is talking about is her way of sabotaging her ability to be open?
Seth… Sabotaging from receiving love from herself. Remember if you can’t love yourself, you can’t let anybody else love you. So, if you are so worried about how they look, how other people will see them, what the nature of that is; or what Isabella has to do is to take off his hat and stop saying don’t cover it up. I love you because I can scratch the top of your head. I love you and I don’t want anyone not to know that. I don’t care what you look like. I don’t care about anything else other than the fact that I think you are a nice person and that’s how to love.
Jasmine… But she can’t do that unless she loves herself.
Seth… Correct. And that’s how you sabotage.
Jasmine… Even when she
Seth… Even anything. When you for example, do not answer someone back, when you become worried did I offend, these are the constantly repeatable mistakes you always make because you don’t learn to love yourself enough. Do you understand? I am glad that you do.
Yes?
Frank… How does one do that?
Seth… How does one do what?
Frank… You’re in the moment, you’re facing, or you are not facing the thing that you have difficulty with and now you need to gather…
Seth… How about a simple question, why did you say that? Why did you ask me that question? Could you realize that question hurt my feelings? You are always aware when somebody bothers you with something. It is not a unique emotion.
Frank… Say it again?
Seth… If somebody says something that bothers you, why don’t you just say, are you aware that that hurt me or that bothered me? Are you aware that made me uncomfortable? What gave you the right to ask me that question? Instead of sitting back, taking it and examining it. Do you understand?
Frank… It sounds like you are saying just do it.
Seth… It is not a question of just doing it. It is a question of if you are allowing someone else to bother you, hurt you, to annoy you. Then the question is, why?
Frank… Well from session it would be, for me it would be fear.
Seth… Aren’t you propping yourself up right then and there? If someone hurts you…
Frank… And you say you hurt me…
Seth… You hurt me. Why did you even think that, is that not putting pine up against a leaning wall?
Frank… Yes, but… how are you gathering up the love to be able to do that?
Seth… If you love yourself, you are not going to allow yourself to be hurt, are you?
Frank… That sounds to me like you then just do it.
Seth… No, just doing it doesn’t make any sense…
Frank… It’s like an act of faith.
Seth… It’s like somebody saying to a drug addict, just do it, stop.
Frank… Well, Nancy Regan…
Seth… I’m aware who it was but that’s just say no but that’s not the issue. Just do it has no useful purpose here.
Frank… Right, so what’s the step before?
Seth… The step before is learning to love yourself.
Jasmine… That’s the question he asked in the first place, how do you do that?
Seth… It is not a question of how you love yourself; it is a question why do you not love yourself enough. Because you are putting your faith into someone else.
Jasmine… What made me today decide to say, so Jerry is not all that excited about it, but I really want to see Tina Tuner and I am going to see it? What made me do that today?
Seth… Because you decided to love yourself. You decided to say I am worth something. You may have said unconsciously let’s test the man through whom I speak.
Jasmine… No.
Seth… These are things that you may not even be aware of.
Jasmine… I just want to say one thing. I have no interest; I really didn’t intend to do it until I heard that comment on television.
Seth… But that was a chance encounter. That was a chance encounter. (A chance encounter is when the universe sends you information through a person or event to help you along. F.N.)
Jasmine… That’s what prompted me to say, this is what I want to do. Why should I miss what this person is calling the most memorable experience of her life? That’s what made me do it.
Seth… But that is a chance encounter. It came from you. Whether you want to admit it or not it came from you.
Jasmine… Okay, I understand.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… So, when you decide to face a fear, fear is the absence of love and by facing it you are then employing the opposite (of fear) that being love.
Seth… Correct, but this you already knew.
Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: The unpredictability of the road of life gives you ample opportunity to love yourself and in learning to love yourself you will learn to love others. And from this simple statement it is obvious that your needs will be met, and your wants lessened. A hardy good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here again. Two bits of housekeeping, notations: Kaetorina…
Stephanie… Yes?
Seth… The next book assignment is quite simple. It is a simply small book, I have written. It is actually a group of essays that were written, and it is very, very simple in terms of its length for you that you will have to do. It is “The Magical Approach”; it is approximately, that thick. (Seth demonstrated with finger and thumb, spread maybe a half inch apart. Stephanie giggled as she does not “love” to read.)
You will have exactly six weeks to do it.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Jasmine, how is your year doing in terms of your reading?
Jasmine… I just started; I took it with me yesterday and read it in the doctor’s office.
Seth… And how many pages have you read?
Jasmine… I guess about twenty-five. Slow. (Meaning hard.)
Seth… Yes, it is, and I am surprised that you did no reading while you were gone.
Jasmine… Me too.
Seth… That you got that far. I would strongly suggest and recommend that you go back to page one and very slowly go over…
Jasmine… I don’t think that is necessary, I remember everything from it but…
Seth… I would again, strongly recommend that.
Under our subject of Change we have the idea that individuals have the notion that things proceed along in a straightforward path. This idea itself actually prevents change.
Jasmine… This idea?…
Seth… itself actually prevents change. When one is not ready for an occurrence that doesn’t seem normal it is the idea of something not being predictable, “I should have foreseen this,” that gives individuals a sense of holding on to the status quo. A simple example here will enlighten this idea; a tree grows from a sapling. It increases in height, increases in width. The rings that form during each growing season are predictable. Not necessary their size but each growing season will have a new ring. The tree will shed its bark to allow growth from within. This is the nature of the tree. Souls who inhabit the physical plane have the luxury of being able to determine how and where growth should occur. Without the unpredictable nature of the physical plane change is unnecessary. If everything would constantly move in a routine and linear fashion, then one is able to foresee clearly what events must take place.
Since the nature of reality has been defined, it is clear that routine events are not helpful for a soul’s growth and development. How often have I explained that your point of power is in the present and that the past and future are equally changeable? Nothing is ever predetermined. One may have a sense of a task or a challenge that appears on the horizon. Yet this challenge may never have to be dealt with if you are able to change your course. Your vision of that which is, routinely eliminates that which it is not.
The seemingly random nature of events such as an automobile accident is a clear indication of the unpredictability of events, yet and I remind each reader that there is no such thing as a coincidence. These seemingly contradictory statements allow change to occur in a quote here “orderly fashion,” close quotes.
When you decide to do something as you would say on the quote, unquote “spur of the moment” you are allowing for the unpredictable nature of self. And in doing so you promote change from within.
Your growth and development at any soul age is determined by you! Are you ready for the change? What is your vision of this particular challenge that will allow you to move forward… (Someone said, “Hold up.”) I will pause… in an orderly fashion.
(Jasmine here read back material in order to be able to write it down correctly.)
Seth… to move forward in an orderly fashion. As most parents know, there is a readiness for their children to learn, to read, to walk, to speak in their own “time”. When one attempts to change when they are not ready or when change is forced upon another individual soul the results are always detrimental to that particular individual. They are detrimental since the growth potential of the change is severely limited. The unpredictable nature of the physical plane is a challenge for all individuals who require growth and prosperity.
Every soul age gives individuals an opportunity to recreate themselves in a manner here-to-for unknown to that individual. When one tends to stagnate and accept that which is without challenging themselves the growth potential is limited.
Each individual develops with others around them. Some individuals you feel comfortable with. Your personality and theirs fit each other, both of you tend to give strength and comfort to the other and very little effort is required to keep the spark of friendship alive.
Yet there are times when others have served their purpose, and they are a detriment to your health and well being. Individuals are literally attached to emotional ties that basically stem from one individual to another. These are “the ties that bind.” When you do not see that individual or hear from that individual your heart seems to ache, therefore one may state that the tie literally goes from one heart to another.
So, my dear friends what happens when you find an individual that no longer serves your best interests? How do you cut the cord that binds you? (Someone asked to hold on a second and there was a pause.) What does one do to successfully remove that individual? It is clear that many individuals long for what they mistakenly believe as closeness. One tends to remember and fantasize about how good it is\was to be involved with that particular person.
The first thing that it is necessary for you to do is to examine those ties that at one point tied you to the other individual. Questions such as, what attracted me to this individual? Why did I find it profitable to continue a relationship that was moving in a negative fashion? These questions and many more will enable you to determine what proper course of action is necessary for you to take.
How do I go about severing that which binds me? I sever the relationship by promoting myself, by making adjustments for that which profits me. In other words, I become selfish! I matter, I am the one who determines my play, and I will never allow myself to be at the mercy or become a victim of another’s injustice. This my dear reader gives one the ability to sever that which no longer profits me. When I was ready to look at myself, I was then ready to promote myself in any fashion that I deemed necessary. Peroid.
How many times have you deluded yourself into believing that the other will change for you? The unpredictability of the physical plane makes that idea foolish. At best the other soul may try to incorporate some of the things that you require if their play can be modified to allow this change. If only one could understand that you are the master of your own destiny since you are what you create, then and only then will you truly be able to permanently cut the cords that bind you to another and in doing so you will promote yourself in ways that you cannot imagine.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:20)
Seth… Let us continue… We will make this simple, are there any questions?
Isabella… I don’t have any. (Laughter.)
George… Could you please review for me what it means that the past and the future are equally changeable with the past being equally changeable?
Seth… Let us start with a simple statement, where is your greatest point of power?
George… Now.
Seth… Now, right from where you are, in the present. Let us assume from that point of power you have made a decision to look for a residency in veterinary surgery and you are determined to make that decision factual. You are then going to attract that which you require to make your decision factual. Now when this occurs your future is different then it was. Do you understand that? But your past must also change. Why? Because you could not go to the new route for the future with out your past accommodating those changes. Do you understand?
George… Yes.
Seth… In other words, when you go ahead and have something change, you are on a different path, correct?
George… Em hmm.
Seth… To get to that different path, something behind you from your line of thinking must have changed because you can not start here at the present and go here instead of here without something here behind you making an accommodation for you to go on a different path.
George… You mean that your present is making an accommodation?
Seth… No, it is actually your past. In other words, when you went ahead and decided that you wanted to become a surgical resident, you first decided to stay an extra year instead of moving to another way, so your past changed. Instead of leaving you stayed.
George… (Said something about his future.)
Seth… No, no that is your future when you decided to do something your past changed. Because it allowed you to make decisions to stay. Instead of giving up you went forward.
George… How about changes that I did in past? (Not completely accurate because George tends to speak in a low tone and volume.)
Seth… Your decision was based upon certain factors. Those factors became relevant if you moved in one direction as compared to another. Do you understand now? So, your past changed to accommodate your present and your future. Remember time does not truly exist as you believe it does in a linear fashion.
George… Okay, well… (Something about time whichagain was not clearly audible.)
Seth… We’ll get to it soon. Now, do you have anything, another question?
George… No not really. I have personal work questions. And I was getting my review, one of my reviews today and they were talking more about what seems to be “things” from the past interms of my relationship to the staff at the hospital and being liked and being respected. The comments were that I was still being seen as kind of arrogant by the support staff in the hospital and I still don’t know how to… I try to be different with people, but I don’t know physically how to… what do I need to do differently other than…
Seth… You do not have to make yourself be liked. If you will be kind, if you will be generous, if you will speak in a tone that is not condescending, if you do not order, if you do not expect others to immediately follow exactly your specific words but are in general accommodating to another’s feelings; this is what they are talking about. You are at times from your upbringing so routine, so demanding that you do not see yourself as anything, but this is what it is. You must learn to calm yourself down to slowly make a change so that others can appreciate you. You do have nothing to prove. Others do not have anything to prove, yet your upbringing demands that you prove how good you are. For if you do not show everyone how good you are you are not worth anything. Do you understand?
George… I think so. I feel like I have taken steps to try and be more like acquiescent and ask people in a less demanding manner and do things like that.
Seth… Remember your relationship with some of the staff has had a romantic nature and that automatically puts you at a disadvantage to the others here for they feel you are giving here but not giving there. It is a common misconception that workplace romance is profitable, most of the time it is highly detrimental, for you cannot gain by pleasing this while ignoring that. And that also plays into it.
George… That was what I was thinking.
Seth… Anything else?
George… Can you give me any insights into what’s wrong with my mom right now? Because I am talking about in therapy what’s troubling her so much now.
Seth… Well, what’s troubling her is your father’s situation. That’s obvious and she is worried about money. She is worried about what her future will bring. (George asked something that was not picked up by the tape recorder.) Everything and it will of course give her dis-ease, which it certainly has. And with dis-ease obviously there is a great amount of stress that goes along with this which can obviously lead to other factors.
Is there anything else? Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Can you talk about the idea of this philosophy with old, old friends versus family? Who are you talking about? Anybody who you are in a relationship with who does not serve you?
Seth… Why does it have to be in your mind one or the other? It is not a question of old friends or family. It may be a new friend.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… It may be an acquaintance, it may be a family member, it may be a friend, and the relationship does not have to be quotes here and be very careful with this notion “bad”.
Stephanie… Uh huh.
Seth… It is a relationship that is not making itself profitable for you as it is habitual. Commonly it is perfectly justifiable that people will stay in certain relationships because of the other.
Stephanie… Right, that’s what I am referring to.
Seth… And if you do and you do not feel materially disadvantaged you can limit some of the relationship, you can expand another portion of it but this is not the issue.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… The issue is what do you feel that you should do? What profits you? Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, I mean… So, the people I am talking about like with old friends, I don’t feel it’s detrimental to me. You know, I don’t feel, I am not sure whether they can add anything but how would one know? You can choose to use yourself differently with people that will promote the other of course being different? So, I don’t really know for sure because I have trust issues.
Seth… So, then your relationship issues have to be narrowed.
Stephanie… With these individuals?
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… Right where I feel okay to be there for them, but I would not, if I had something, I needed to deal with depending what it is I might go to them for certain things. I wouldn’t necessarily go to them for others. So, it is limited…
Seth… It can be.
Stephanie… So, I would go to others around me.
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… Right, which I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I think it is just the idea…
Seth… It is not a question of right or wrong, it is a question of what do you feel serves you.
Stephanie… Right so I wouldn’t necessarily think they would serve?
Seth… Are you learning to be selfish here is the real question?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Then there is no problem.
Stephanie… I would be, I understand that. If I had unrealistic expectations and kept wanting them to be what they are not, then that would not serve me and that would be destructive.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I know I have something else I wanted to ask.
Seth… What else did you want to ask?
Stephanie… Um, you know it was very interesting the whole idea of, you know, promoting change. The whole idea of, you know, you have talked about this several times already, the idea of taking a different route home than the same route. To move toward it and to not do things routinely in the same fashion, over and over for growth and development.
Seth… Let us look at an idea of that: your husband, William’s idea was to totally run away from a problem that he is having with his mother who is not well.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… “I will ignore it, I will not deal with it,” how is that profitable at all?
Stephanie… It’s not.
Seth… Yet when the man through whom I speak through you gave William the idea of that it is proper to see his mother and he did. One may then question, what was the profitability in seeing this woman who was obviously in great dis-ease?
Stephanie… Yeah, it was very disturbing for him, actually.
Seth… Actually, what was the profit there? Do you know?
Stephanie… It was I believe the profit there is about connection, and what one does when one shows that they care.
Seth… It is learning to be a friend, certainly learning to be a better son.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… But it also gives the idea that to the individual that you gave of yourself enough to specifically do something that where the mother said, “Don’t see me, don’t look at me.” You cared enough to not to listen.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And that was a test that he admirably passed.
Stephanie… With her?
Seth… Correct, and for himself.
Stephanie… Em hmm. Well, she said to him, “Don’t come,” specifically?
Seth… That was the message that was given.
Stephanie… Right. Uh huh. So, he wanted to listen to that. That benefited…
Seth… It fits into “I can ignore.”
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… “I do not have to be involved.”
Stephanie… Em hmm and then interestingly enough the rest of the kids followed suit. I don’t know if that was about Bill, but they all knew to, you know, the brother is going to come for Thanksgiving and maybe he will spend it with his father. And then the sister who was going to come to us is going to go to her instead. So, they all were doing what was, you know, appropriate.
I wanted to (ask a question,) the whole idea of allowing for the unpredictable nature of self so you know the doing, something like the idea of doing something off the cuff?
Seth… Did not William unpredictably…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… go to his mother?
Stephanie… Yeah, right, it’s living out of the box, so to speak. But when you were saying, you can not do something when you are not yet ready to do so, how would one know whether they’re ready to do so?
Seth… It is not a question of knowing when they are ready, someone gives you advice and you are the teacher, and you are giving your student advice.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Do they have to accept the advice?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Therefore, they were not ready.
Stephanie… So, when you are dealing with children…
Seth… Even adults, what is the difference? You gave William advice…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… you will give a patient advice, what happens when you ram the advice down the throat of a patient?
Stephanie… (Laughs as this is an old point made by Seth.) They run away. (Laughs.)
Seth… Because they are not ready.
Stephanie… Right, em hmm.
Seth… And that is the difference.
Stephanie… Right, but in teaching children, they you know, it seems to be a little precarious there because they don’t, you know they are working on things, they are just first learning. So, there might be increments where they might be ready for them to accept…
Seth… There may accept something here but not accept something there.
Stephanie… So how would you know if?…
Seth… You try, you present information.
Stephanie… You still do it?
Seth… You still present information.
Stephanie… So do the teaching. So that’s the idea like when I am trying to help Natalie with the loss issues. I don’t know whether she is ready to make whatever change from the statement.
Seth… But she may listen to you today…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… but not accept that information for a year.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right but it doesn’t mean you don’t give it.
Seth… Correct. Because in the withholding of information you harm yourself; for, “I should have said that, if I had been smarter, I would have done that.”
Stephanie… Right, you do it anyway.
Seth… In a kind and just manner.
Stephanie… Right, without expectations.
Seth… Without the return which is what you are talking about.
Stephanie… Right, so you know, you can see how that would be difficult there because if you are teaching you might expect that there would be results from it but not necessarily.
Seth… Correct. Just as I present information to all who sit around this table.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And individuals make promises, they make threats, they ignore, they don’t listen. How does that affect me?
Stephanie… It doesn’t.
Seth… Therefore, do I care?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… And since I don’t care I have no value judgment on what they do or what they don’t do. It is from my vantage point that I give the information.
Stephanie… Right, because it could be helpful.
Seth… Because I’m aware from my research, from the way I view things that my vision is better than yours. Not that I am a better individual. My vision is better; it is clearer than yours because yours is limited by the physical plane itself. Therefore, if I make a request of you and you agree to the request but don’t follow through, so be it.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right, so you know, Natalie brought up again this idea of, “Oh, I know why I am afraid, upset about Sprinkles because I love him so much! I don’t want anything to happen to him.” So, what kinds of things would I, could I say to her in those examples?
Seth… Simple example…
Stephanie… When she brings up this topic?
Seth… “I understand the worry that you have but does worrying about what might happen make it better?”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… She’s not ready to cut the tie that binds her to the fear of loss.
Stephanie… Right, em hmm, so she would say, “I can’t help it.”
Seth… And you can say, “For right now, you can’t. But should you not do that? Which would be better?”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… “I can’t help it,” is a very poor excuse which in reality means, “I don’t want to!”
Stephanie… Right, so if I actually asked why would you want to continue to worry about something that…
Seth… May not happen for a long time. What useful purpose does it serve?
Stephanie… Right and Peter of course has the same thing because he worries routinely. It is not about loss, necessarily, it’s just about life and change.
Seth… Peter worries about change.
Stephanie… Change, yeah.
Seth… Same answer.
Stephanie… Right, because I’ll say, “Peter, why do you do this to yourself? Why do you give yourself all kinds of worries and this and that?”
(In a mimic of Peter’s voice,) “I can’t help it!”
You know…
Seth… I would check your phone.
Stephanie… My phone? Nothing… You are getting something that’s not here yet. (Laughs.) Perhaps… So, it seems that Peter asks for, it seems like he asks for assistance that he… he worries
Seth… Does not require.
Stephanie… Does not require what?
Seth… The assistance. “Do for me, for I do not want to do for myself.”
Stephanie… But when he is worrying for example about the teacher who is going to be harsh with him and not like him or disapprove of him because he is making mistakes, he can’t…
Seth… Fear of change.
Stephanie… Right, he can’t help, he would say he can’t help but worry about that?
Seth… How does worrying, remember all fear is future based.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Well, if you would listen more, if you would pay attention more, if you would do your homework properly then of course the fear is unnecessary. But when you don’t do something and you fool around or you don’t pay attention or you don’t do anything else then of course it becomes necessary and then your fear is justifiable.
Stephanie… And what are the difficulties having with listening in class that he is missing homework or he is not hearing?
Seth… Not paying attention.
Stephanie… Is that an anxiety?
Seth… Preoccupied, preoccupied.
Stephanie… He is just doing his thing as a…
Seth… He’s being a…
Stephanie… little boy?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay and he doesn’t want to take the responsibility of it when I confront him with it?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay and so the consequence would be…
Seth… He gets a bad mark.
Stephanie… And he is upset…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… or the teacher reprimands him. But it was still correct for me to discuss with the teacher his difficulties so she can not be so harsh.
Seth… Of course, but that does not mean, not being punished.
Stephanie… Right the idea that he’s still going to, you know, whatever consequence will be. He’ll still have a consequence whatever it might be.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… And then how he suffers from it though.
Seth… Well, if you are suffering because you didn’t do your homework.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Didn’t remember to write it down. Didn’t get up in the morning, didn’t set your alarm clock. Well, if you don’t set your alarm clock or if George doesn’t set his alarm clock and he is late for work three or four times in a row they’re not going to be happy with him and he will suffer the consequences.
Stephanie… Right, so the complaining, I need to teach him, what? What’s the point of complaining?
Seth… If you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing.
Stephanie… Do what you need to do, and this won’t occur.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… You won’t have to worry about it and all this fear.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, the fear is in the place of doing the right thing?
Seth… The fear is, “What will happen to me if I don’t?”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… It’s always future base. Well, the fear is;” If I don’t do my homework, I am going to get punished. Now that I didn’t do my homework, I’m worried about getting punished.” So then if you don’t want to get punished make sure you know what you are doing.
Stephanie… Does he trust himself to be successful at remembering, at doing, at…
Seth… If he doesn’t then shouldn’t he be writing it down?
Stephanie… Right so I recently said to him, “Every single day before you leave school, you are to check your folder and see if every single thing is in it before you leave that classroom.”
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, I guess we will see if he does that. This is how this boy needs to live…
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… clearly with a checklist. With a thing and a that, so he can prevent these worries and the fears as much as he can.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… As he gets older, he’ll become more adapted to that?
Seth… He will become more responsible. Remember he is still an eight-year-old little boy.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Is there anything else?
Let me leave you with this: life is unpredictable; to change correctly you must be ready. End what needs to be ended, and your needs will be fulfilled and your wants lessened. The responsibility for success is always yours. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Ridding, Giving, Receiving and the Problem of Over-Giving
Tuesday November 11, 2008
8:30 PM
Seth… Good evening.
Stephanie… Come to the table!
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here. You may add one number on from last week on to there. And I believe if I am correct that each of you had a homework assignment to do except for Kaetorina and therefore I will not have her give the answer because I do not want to hear it at this point but I would like you Kaetorina to please summarize if you will the portions of last week’s session that you find pertinent to me asking the question why is it improper if you will to be too giving.
Stephanie… Okay do I get to go over it for a minute?
Seth… You may get to go over it; you may certainly do that. While you are going over it, do that, I shall allow a few questions that anybody might have. So, you may look at that and go on.
Frank… I want to ask a generalized question about…
Seth… Go ahead.
Frank… The election of Mr. Obama seems to have really jazzed things up, I’m seeing patients, I’m seeing in the paper a tremendous amount of fear, in addition to a tremendous amount of hope and I was hoping in just a generalized way a comment on the whole set of affairs and what is going on?
Seth… What would you like to know?
Frank… I’m not sure how to say this without making it future oriented.
Seth… That is the problem with the question.
Frank… Right, how about the possibility…
Seth… The possibility is future, keep going. You are going down a tube.
Frank… But there are many.
Seth… That’s why it is a futuristic question.
Frank… I’m also interested in this and I don’t know if you are going to answer this because it is his business. This soul what a tremendous honor and wonderful thing…
Seth… He is obviously a young soul, obviously wants power and authority.
Frank… Is that necessarily so?
Seth… Always.
(Isabella and Frank were talking.)
Frank… What about Abraham Lincoln?
Seth… You’re trying to put into an idea because someone is a young soul, they cannot be overwhelmingly good.
Frank… Or wise?
Seth… Or wise.
Frank… Lincoln was, I mean the way he wrote!
Seth… Why would you believe that someone who was a young soul…
Frank… Could not be wise?
Seth… Could not be wise?
Frank… Wisdom tends to be denoted with…
Seth… Is there anything such as time? Let’s start with that question.
Frank… No.
Seth… Then how foolish is your question?
Frank… It’s not that foolish actually.
Seth… It is because remember individuals who have spent a number of grand cycles dealing with this are certainly older and wiser. Because their soul age in this cycle is that of young…
Frank… So, the young soul can draw from that too?
Seth… It is not a question of drawing from that it is a question of experience. I told you once that when you were a youngster in the beginning when you looked at sports you only wanted to know who won and a who lost. As you got slightly older you looked at why did they win, and why did they lose. Your interest and depth applies layer upon layer the more times you have grand cycles. For someone who is wise may be wise for a young soul. That doesn’t mean anything.
Frank… So, there is never like a true Philosopher King who is an older soul who becomes King?
Seth… Most old souls have very, very little interest about mundane things.
Betty… Is there a meaning though in the fact that he was elected, some message?
Seth… Yes, it means that he got more votes than the other person.
Betty… That’s it?
Seth… There are enough possibilities there that you have to wait and figure out the reasons why. Let us get back to where we were going. Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Yes, you want me to summarize…
Seth… Summarize why, what was pertinent here…
Stephanie… Without giving away the answer?
Seth… And you may not give away the… why I have said that giving too much.
Stephanie… Okay without giving the answer.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Alright, well first of all…
Seth… What was the session about? Let’s start with that.
Stephanie… Promoting self, recreating self, redefining self so that you can be successful.
Seth… What about the story?
Stephanie… Well, that was the meaning of the story. You want me to go into it?
Seth… No, I don’t want you to go into the story. I want you to simply lightly define the story.
Stephanie… Oh. Oh! I love the story. (The story of the carpenter and how he uses his trouble tree to not take his problems home.)
Seth… That is why we had to push her slightly in that direction. (Stephanie laughs.)
Stephanie… Yeah, I loved the story. First of all, I used the story, I don’t know yesterday, the day before. You know the idea of the fact that you do not have to hold onto negativity, that there is a place to put it that’s profitable which would redefine your old ways which would normally be holding onto negativity. And it is just the idea that you open yourself up to the choices that are available which will bring you to a higher place and open your options and redefine yourself. So, I think the story…
Seth… Fine. Now, going back to our homework assignment, knowing what last week’s lecture was and the brief summary that I allowed what we would like to do here is to go ahead and have you look at the statement itself and explain the statement and why you believe that becoming too giving can and often is a detriment.
You may go first.
Isabella… Well, I’ve been thinking about and when you are too giving, I think it takes away another’s chance to be giving in return and so therefore there is kind of no equity in the relationship if one person is too giving and the other is only receiving.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… I was pretty much in the same place that it unbalances the relationship and that in giving too much takes away the other’s possibilities of giving which can lead to feelings often of being taken advantage of, being taken for granted, giving too much time or doing too much. When you are thinking about someone else you are also taking away from yourself because you are creating your own imbalance. I kind of went into all the different ways that we give too much like giving someone the benefit of the doubt. And
because my mind went there, it takes away from my own ability to trust myself and the others of themselves.
Seth… Arthur?
Arthur… Does not promote self, exhausts resources whether financial or health or time and neglects my own ability to see.
Seth… Frank?
Frank… When you give too much you are literally taking away the other’s opportunity to create for themselves. So, you are taking their creativity away and that in turn (means) you are essentially hurting the other and you are also hurting self.
Seth… Jasmine?
Jasmine… I think that all the ideas expressed so far are accurate. According to the way I see it, it is definitely detrimental to the person who is on the receiving end. It doesn’t allow them to grow. They become dependent if you are too giving. They don’t see how they have to become independent and promote their own lives and for the person who is the giver, I think that it is in some way almost a neurotic thing that they feel that they have to do this in order to be loved or to be liked or fulfill some kind of emptiness inside of them. So, I think it is unhealthy for both parties.
Seth… Give the microphone to Kaetorina. What do you think of the answers Kaetorina?
Stephanie… They are all wrong.
Seth… Go ahead you’re on and then I will deal with those.
Stephanie… The answer is not actually about the receiver. It’s about the person who is doing the over-giving and in fact it means that the person who is over-giving is in fact being selfish to self. The idea that; let me get my bearings; it’s not…
Seth… It is difficult being the one who is lecturing, isn’t it?
Stephanie… Right, exactly. Well, okay, the idea here is if you are over-giving it is in fact to get something from the receiver. So, it has to do with being greedy. You are not giving of self because you just want to give out of kindness and assistance; you’re giving because you want back. So that’s why it is greedy and selfish, which of course doesn’t serve self. So, you are in fact victimizing self and the other because the giving is not genuine.
Seth… It is as if you were going to go ahead and buy something. You cannot buy loyalty, friendship, trust but the individual who over gives is an individual who is so insecure with themselves that if you asked them to describe their own self-worth, they will often find themselves lacking. Now, if you put this together with last week’s session you can go ahead and see how one is an integral part of the other.
Now, if this was a true classroom, I would ask each of you to write a paper on the combining of those two ideas. And I would suggest to our quote, unquote “therapists” here and to the patients here that they make a sincere effort to comprehend the degree of intermingling of the necessity to give and the necessity to rid the self of difficulties. For in reality, they are so closely related that they often cannot be separated.
Seth… You have problems Arthur?
Arthur… So closely related they are often they can’t be…
Stephanie… They often cannot be separated.
Seth… Separated.
Jasmine… Oh, that could get into difficulties?
Stephanie… For in reality, they are so closely related that they often cannot be separated.
Jasmine… The giving and the receiving?
Seth… No, the need to give…
Jasmine… The need to give…
Seth… I was answering your question.
(Everyone is talking.)
Seth… The need to rid. That being stated…
Jasmine… Hmm, can I just ask a question?
Seth… Yes, even if we have to forget tonight’s lecture, I will give it next week but go ahead.
Jasmine… So, if a person has difficulty with ridding themselves, like for example I have difficulty ridding myself of negativity.
Seth… Correct you do.
Jasmine… How is that related to my need to give?
Seth… Do you not give your mother an excessive amount?
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… Do you not give your sister an excessive amount much to your own detriment? Do you not feel guilty and upset when you try to stand up for yourself because you cannot get rid of that which is truly bothering you?
Jasmine… So, in other words the need to give is in the over-giving, the need to over-give is connected to the need to rid.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… Because I was wondering whether if you can’t rid you can’t give?
Seth… That’s true too. The opposite just works as well as the original way.
Jasmine… I don’t understand that at all.
Seth… What don’t you understand?
Jasmine… You just said that it is the need to over-give which is connected to the need to rid.
Seth… If you have to rid yourself of everything…
Jasmine… Bad, bad things.
Seth… What can you give? The answer is nothing.
Jasmine… If you have to rid yourself of everything?
Seth… What do you have left for you?
Jasmine… Well, you are only getting rid of the things that are hurtful to you.
Seth… Not necessarily. The over-giver gives everything to themselves because they are buying…
Jasmine… Gives everything to others?
Seth… Others because they are buying and they are selfish because they have to buy everything back from what they feel is a lack of in themselves.
Jasmine… So, it is like the person I said is neurotic in…
Seth… I don’t care how you classify it. It is simpler to use the idea that you are selfish when you try to buy something from someone else at your own expense.
Isabella… I have a great example.
Jasmine… Okay.
Isabella… I have a co-worker, Diane, who always writes the plans and has everything run off in advance, like three weeks in advance. And she purposely does this because she wants people to like her. It’s not because she wants to do it, she does it because she is basically over-giving, and she’ll run everything off and she’ll write the plans and then print them to everybody. I mean literally like almost crazy that she goes so far above. But she does it because she is looking for attention back, the praise back.
(There was some conversation from the group that is muffled.)
Isabella… I don’t know I’m just talking about the giving; I’m talking about the over-giving. (More conversation from Jasmine and Frank). To like her so she has to do that. That’s what she does and she’ll also tell people what they want to hear including gossipy information because she wants to get attention. She wants people to like her, constantly she does it.
Seth… Going back to the idea, when you try to influence others there are ways that you can approach this delicate matter without harming yourself. One must understand that the nature that most incarnated individuals have is the idea that they require love. (Isabella asked Seth to repeat.)
If you wouldn’t text, you would be certainly fine in taking notes.
However, their idea of love is not accurate. They do not define that which love truly is. One does not need approval to be loved. If one is rejected is love possible? When one feels rejected because of the way they were raised by their incarnated parents their need in reality their want becomes so strong that they sell themselves for the price of self respect.
(Isabella asked to repeat dictation and Stephanie did so.)
Jasmine… They are not really in self respect because they lose self respect.
Seth… That’s exactly what I stated.
(There is unclear conversation between Stephanie and Jasmine.)
Jasmine… They sell themselves but it almost sounded like to me that they are actually giving.
Seth… No.
Jasmine… Doesn’t it? Didn’t it sound like that?
Seth… You attempt to get it by giving, which is the price of self respect which you cannot gain that way.
Stephanie… You may not…
Seth… They don’t see that.
Stephanie… Right, they think they are.
Seth… Of course. For example, here when Jasmine sells herself to her sister this is in reality her way of “buying”; put the word buying in quotes and underline it, of buying love and affection. And a question then arises, how successful is she in obtaining her desires? And the answer is not at all. Any individual who does this loses more than they could possibly gain. Individuals who do this become angry at themselves since they are in reality becoming a victim of their own wants. As in our example, I want to be close to her. I want her to love and respect me. Therefore, I sell myself by giving and the question that is asked is simple what have I gotten in return? It is clear that over-giving is a symptom of a greater dis-ease. The dis-ease is characterized by an emptiness within the self that cannot be filled from our soul’s perception of themselves, write down the word period, capital P there, Peroid. Since you cannot fill and complete yourself, your emptiness must be quote, unquote here “filled” by an outside source. A clear indication of this may be seen in the child who gives up their life for a parent or a woman who marries a man with superior wealth. She literally sells herself to obtain the comforts that she believes that she is entitled to. The same is true for a man who subjugates his own feelings and desires to a cruel boss who uses him as a victimized punching bag to increase his own stature.
So, I ask each of you what has truly been given other than the loss that these individuals feel. When they finally come to the conclusion that they must empty their pockets and throw away their problems before returning home then these individuals will have finally given themselves the gift of freedom.
Giving properly is indeed a blessing for it allows you to promote yourself. It gives you a feeling of inner warmth. It is the sunshine that radiates your entire being. This radiance encompasses all that you see and do. It makes others appreciate you and fills their lives with the blessings of a proper gift. Our soul who gives properly is indeed loved and cherished not because of what they give; underline that, not because of what they give but because of what they are! The idea that you can be seen as the light inspires others to follow your example. Most individuals joyfully accept that role. Indeed, you are in truth the master of your own fate since you cannot escape the blessings that you give to others and the greatest blessing that you give is of course to self knowing full well that it will be returned many times over.
I believe we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:10)
Seth… Jasmine, you obviously have some difficulty with these concepts.
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… The need that you have…
Jasmine… Should I write this down? No just listen.
Seth… The need that you have is that which you define it as: I want, I need this from you, I require this from you. What you should do first when you have a need to do something, to put this simply is to very, very easily say, how can I fulfill this need myself? You don’t require anyone outside of you. It might be more fun to go to a movie with someone. Give us a moment… Do you remember an incident in a Chinese restaurant with soup?
Jasmine… Em hmm, oh yeah.
Seth… Why was not that feeling of I can have what I require to have when I require it not continued?
Jasmine… I don’t know it’s just; it’s not as easy for me to go to a museum by myself. Take the train, drive in whatever, walk around as it is, firstly I didn’t even recognize the fact that I could have the soup, that was the first thing. It was…
Seth… Just the same thing, I would strongly recommend that you first do things by yourself just to prove to self that you are self-sufficient. The individual who requires assistance tells the universe that they cannot. If you tell the universe that you can then you will. Do you understand that, Isabella?
Isabella… Yeah, the individual who requires assistance tells the universe that they can’t.
Jasmine… But is there some problem, is there something wrong with attempting to find someone to do the activity at first and then if they can’t continue to do it on your own?
Seth… Which sounds more plausible to you? Jane, I looked in the paper and there is a wonderful exhibit in this museum. I know I am going to make plans by myself to go into the exhibit on such a day; can you come on that day with me because it might be enjoyable for both of us?
Oh, no I am sorry I can’t go on that day but can we go on this day?
I’ll be happy to change my plans.
But let’s assume that she can’t and does not chose to see the exhibit; your difficulty here is that you will not go by yourself. You will not do for self.
Jasmine… Right, it is very deeply ingrained.
Seth… That you require, this is what was taught to you that you require assistance to be happy. That you should write down because it is important that you require assistance to be happy. What does that tell you about you?
Jasmine… That I can’t be happy within self.
Seth… That you do not have the ability to fulfill yourself.
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… And the universe is constantly providing you with opportunities to fill yourself up. As an example, here, when your sister and brother-in-law victimized you, did you then confront your sister and say, “Why did you ever take all of my clothes out of my car and put them on the ground? How dare you do that.”
Jasmine… No, I didn’t do that.
Seth… “You will never do that to me again. If I am generous to you and you don’t respect me and my things don’t ever ask me to that again because the answer right now is, no!” Would you not have filled yourself up better than having your husband insist that your clothes were being ruined?
Jasmine… I knew that I was going to do something about it from the minute I got into my car that afternoon. I wasn’t depending on Jerry to tell me I had to do it. I knew I was going to do something about it.
Seth… You believe so.
Jasmine… No, no I absolutely was going to.
Seth… We will allow that to slide.
Jasmine… No, no I was already like I said to Stephanie, when I feel that feeling, I can no longer ignore that feeling of being used or abused or victimized. I no longer ignore that. It takes a lot for me to have to deal with it but…
Seth… Why do you wait to get there then?
Jasmine… I didn’t realize that they were going to do that. I didn’t, when I gave them permission to put things in my car, I didn’t realize that they were going to do it to the extent that my things might have been crushed, ruined, whatever.
Seth… You must look out for self first.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… I don’t fully understand, I mean as way of example, this past week was a very pleasant week and…
Seth… What is wrong with that?
Frank… And it seemed to come just from I guess the idea of the tree, I didn’t have a tree, but I kept it in mind.
Seth… Then you had a tree.
Frank… Then I had, I mean, yes, I had a…
Seth… You’re just afraid of trees, let’s leave it at…
Frank… (Group laughter.) I have a problem with trees at this point. (Laughter because of Frank’s long difficulty pointed out by Seth as reflected by the idea of, “Not seeing the forest for the trees.”) Actually, I have a couple of favorite trees. Why does that work? I don’t understand.
Seth… Okay.
Jasmine… Why does what work?
Frank… It is simple as; I don’t understand why it pulls you up.
Seth… When you are ridding yourself of potential difficulty, when you revisit them, they are never quite as difficult as you imagined them to be. And since they are not as difficult, at least for you, you do not walk into this tree, walk into that root, fall down over a rock that you weren’t paying attention to, go the wrong way so when you don’t do these things and you have left the problems here and you walk back to them later you can pick and choose that which is necessary for you to deal with, therefore your week becomes less stressful.
Jasmine… Because you got rid of most of it, normally you would only rid some.
Seth… Let’s assume he got rid of five percent.
Jasmine… But it was better…
Seth… It was the five percent that he didn’t, that didn’t belong there. And if he got rid of thirty-five percent it would have been better.
Frank… So, then it just allows for the better use of your resources and higher functioning?
Seth… It allows you to function on a higher level. It allows you to look at your difficulties in a different way since you are not going to go ahead and be trapped by overanalyzing a problem or worrying about the problem. Then of course, you may deal with the problem. An example of that can be found with Jasmine as well, where she will believe there is a problem, whether there is or not matters not in this instance, but she becomes so embroiled in the worrying about it that the problem has now been given enough energy to materialize for her. So, it is easier to take the problem and put it over here and if I have to go back to it I will.
Frank… So, by worrying about it less then you are allowing yourself to use…
Seth… Find the writers.
Frank… use your writers in a better matter.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… And then can just build from this.
Seth… It does.
Aren’t you glad that I insisted you deal with the questions?
Frank… Yeah, I didn’t know if it was an appropriate question.
Seth… Wouldn’t that be for me and not for you?
Frank… Yeah, but some of the things I am working on. (Not clear but meaning trying to not get lost in the forest.)
Seth… I understand that, but where better than here?
Frank… Correct.
Seth… I did a very good job too. Are there any other questions?
George… I do.
Seth… Certainly… that’s enough.
George… I am having a lot of trouble right now dealing with balancing my life, pretty much every aspect of my life. I was wondering if there was any resource that I have not tapped into or getting advice in terms of balance and living, working, job and in life in a way that is not going to drive me crazy?
Seth… Working and having something drive you crazy…
George… I feel spread too thin.
Seth… is based upon what you believe you have to accomplish and in your work ethic you want to do a complete job and there is nothing wrong with that. But you also have to balance that with the idea of learning how to give and receive properly. You become very withdrawn into yourself and do not know how to open yourself up to yourself. Do you understand what I am saying?
George… No.
Seth… When one is closed off and one can not give…
George… Closed off to the outside world?
Seth… Yes, to the outside world which is of course part of you. You look at problems here and another problem here and another problem here and you lump them together and so that your plate becomes so full you cannot lift it. Instead of a journey where there is a starting point, a middle and an ending, you are just looking at the starting point which is where you are and chastising yourself for not being able to see the end. Well, if you break the problems down into much smaller parts you will be able to see the correct road for you. Yes, there may not be twenty-four hours in a day for you enough to accomplish everything but my simple question to you is why do you have to accomplish everything in one day? If you do a little something here and a little something here and a little something here and you put in your time, it is just as profitable for you to learn to relax and to give of yourself whether you are giving of yourself to another individual, a male friend, a female friend it matters not. Whether you are giving to yourself, allowing you to read for pleasure, whether you are giving to yourself looking at a television program for pleasure, whether you are going on your computer and just looking to research something; all these may give you pleasure but you don’t have to complete the job because when you do not complete the job you wall yourself off against everything around you. Do you understand what I am saying? You don’t know how to give and to receive properly.
George… You mean all of these can bring pleasure if I don’t have to complete the job of those things?
Seth… Or anything, in one minute. You try to finish exactly what you start, and you become disenchanted with the task because you can’t finish it immediately.
George… So, the thing then is nothing ever gets done.
Seth… Correct. Instead of saying I did the best I could today, I’ll do a little bit more tomorrow and I will do a little bit more tomorrow and I’ll do a little bit more tomorrow and in doing so you are giving yourself a path that you can follow.
George… You know, so it feels like it is inadequate?
Seth… It is inadequate by whose definition?
George… By mine.
Seth… That’s the problem. You become so enmeshed with yourself and what you believe is a failure, because this is how you were brought up, that you cannot give properly even to yourself because you know you are a failure. You cannot succeed. When you tell yourself, I can succeed, and I am worth something you will be able to give better. Does that make sense to you?
George… I am going to think through that.
Seth… I know you are going to think through that.
Jasmine… Can you repeat that sentence again? When you say to yourself, I can succeed.
Seth… When you can succeed you will give yourself and I am paraphrasing this, an opportunity to succeed. When you say to yourself this is overwhelming to me, it is too difficult what are you telling yourself?
George… You can’t.
Seth… And what happens? You don’t. You understand?
Are there any other questions?
Seth… Jasmine, how are you doing with your reading?
Jasmine… I started.
Seth… I know that, how are you doing?
Jasmine… I attempted to read some pages today. I thought I was going to have time, but I didn’t I am going to (Unclear.)
Seth… If you have to, write in a note in the margin of the book.
Jasmine… So, what…
Seth… Ask the man through whom I speak, write it down and ask me, ask our friend, Frank, ask Kaetorina. Those are your resources; I don’t see you asking questions either.
Isabella… I haven’t yet.
Seth… How is the typing coming, oh, you haven’t started. (Isabella said something in response.)
I know, be careful. (Group laughter.) And one last little bit of housekeeping here, how are the numbers?
Stephanie… Good before forty-eight hours ago.
Seth… We will deal with this later in unfortunate detail.
Frank… Is there any, this is in terms of organizing some of the thoughts here, for me to maybe assist Cyndi who tends to over give, is there anything in particular, I mean one concept would be to help her let go of her troubles, is…
Seth… Have you spoken to her about the last two lectures?
Frank… I have not.
Seth… Then I would suggest you do so. Why don’t we start with organizing that.
Frank… Alright. I have another question is my handwriting which is hideous, thank God I read the notes two or three days later so I can at least correct it and be able to read again. I wouldn’t be able to if I didn’t. Is that because I was so miserable at the time I learned how to write.
Seth… No, that is because you are in the habit of just scribbling.
Frank… Can I change that habit?
Seth… Sure, if practice your handwriting or you can volunteer to type every single session (Stephanie laughing.) and therefore you don’t have to worry.
Frank… That would be an example of over-giving way too much. (Some laughter. This was said a year and three months ago from the time of this typing and was tongue in cheek. Yet now I have volunteered to type or edit all of the lectures On Change in hope that some of this material is published. F.N.)
Seth… That would be for you to determine and not for me. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just wanted to ask a patient question. This woman who has come to me, a seventy-year-old woman, are there other things that I am not doing with her, I just started with her that could be helpful? She has multiple issues and problems and all of that. You know, I am teaching her meditation. I am trying to help her visualize and get some control over her existence because there seems to be many things out of control, physically she is sick, financially there are all kinds of issues, her traumas from the past where she has observed these horrors. You know to empower her where she can have a different reality from everyone around her, she views, difficult.
Seth… The answer here is simple, control. She must bring her existence back to herself.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And when she gains a modicum of control over what is going on around her, she is more able to understand that which she can cast aside, that which she needs to deal with and what fears she can let go of.
Stephanie… And that would include when I had said to her that she can’t take on her husband’s difficulties per say.
Seth… How can you be of help to someone when…
Stephanie… Right when she is having such difficulties.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… She is talking about the idea that she is always used to be in command of her life and now she feels out of control, that whole issue.
Seth… That’s the control that she has to bring back to herself.
Stephanie… Okay, now how does one do that when financially they are falling apart? Her husband’s business is over; they are figuring that whole thing out. She’s got this one kidney thing, medical difficulties.
Seth… The journey of a thousand miles as has been previously stated begins with the first step. You’re looking to put an end instead of working from the beginning. You take one small step.
Stephanie… Right so I am starting with…
Seth… That’s where she has to go, one small step.
Stephanie… Okay and so what I’ve started her with do you believe about what will assist her in terms of being in control?
Seth… Anything that gives her the ability to look and to work towards a proper ending will be good enough at this point.
Stephanie… That’s what I was feeling right away, to give her tools, to give her something to hold on to.
Seth… She must have the ability to, I can do this, but I can’t do that.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… I will challenge this, but I won’t do that.
Stephanie… Emm, okay so I am doing that.
Jasmine… For now, she won’t.
Seth… For now.
Stephanie… For now.
Seth… For now, you must start somewhere, just as I would tell you (To Jasmine) if you were going to start, the moment you feel victimized by your mother (When the mother says…) “You have to do something,” the question is why?
Jasmine… Why would I have to?
Seth… Why do I have to?
Jasmine… Alright.
Seth… And that is the first step you would have to take.
Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Yes, I wanted to ask about my client, Josh who has a diagnosis of Bipolar and there has been a lot of loss and a lot of turmoil. He’s working now on dreams. Dreams are coming to him for the first time, and I think my move to make to have him come twice a week is helpful to him. It seems to be helpful, but I am seeing kind of a quality of re-grieving or restitution in his dreams and I don’t know if I’m headed in the right direction or what my best…
Seth… His dreams are his own, it has nothing to do with you; it’s what he is working on.
Arthur… Yeah, but…
Seth… Remember, one does not look at the dream per say, it is the theme of the idea that matters so he is working on getting rid of loss or restitution or putting an end to something, making something better then of course he is headed to forgive himself as well as allowing himself to forgive others.
Arthur… And am I… it seems that I see restitution coming in there and I don’t know if I am imposing on him or…
Seth… No, you use language; you must ask a question, what do these dreams mean to you? Do you understand?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… And I have a question after this. Are the drugs I take work for me through my anxiety and my personality?
Seth… What do you mean works for you?
George… Like do they exacerbate my more destructive…
Seth… Do you believe in the drug?
George… Yeah.
Seth… Then they are not bad for you. It is your belief system that matters and since you are medically oriented, you are going to make them work. If you were Shirley Sarah (Jerry’s mother.) it would not work. Does this make sense to you?
George… Do they help in terms of what I want them for but also makes my anxiety…
Seth… Well, you know better than anyone else, are they making your anxiety worse? So, should you switch your drugs? Or is your anxiety coming from because you do not know how to give? And you certainly don’t know how to receive.
Isabella… I have a question about medication, the new medication that I am taking, I am hearing constant conflicting advice about whether or not I should actually be on it or not. My psychiatrist says yes, my psychologist says no.
Seth… Have you had them speak?
Isabella… Not yet.
Seth… Why not?
Isabella… Well, my psychiatrist didn’t ask to talk to my psychologist about it.
Seth… Did the…
Isabella… My psychologist wants to talk to the psychiatrist.
Seth… Then I would strongly suggest you have them speak and have a meeting of the minds and probably ignore both.
Isabella… So, I am asking you, is this necessary? It is a mood stabilizer so is that something that would be necessary for me?
Seth… Do you have a Mood Disorder?
Isabella… I don’t know. I have no idea if I have a Mood Disorder or not!
Seth… Well, you have one, two, three therapists sitting in the room. Why don’t you speak to them?
Isabella… My psychologist says that she does not believe that I have a Mood Disorder.
Seth… Then therefore do you not see that there is a difficulty between two professionals?
Isabella… Yes! So, then which one is right?
Seth… Why does either one have to be right?
Isabella… Okay and this is why I am asking you because you know better than the rest of them. So, I want to know. I don’t want to take an unnecessary drug.
Seth… My first statement is quite simple, whether or not you have a Mood Disorder is how you would describe it to yourself. Second of all, what you want to do is to step away from the equation and you are going to insist that both professionals speak to each other. And then what you should most probably do is to ignore both of them. However, the idea here is more simply put, once they have reached a tentative plan and you have been on this medication for let us say four to six weeks, do you notice no great difference in your mood then do you have a Mood Disorder?
Isabella… That would be a no.
Seth… Therefore…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Does that give you a hint?
Isabella… It does. And my second question is the idea of can I start looking for apartments?
Seth… You start looking? I don’t understand the question.
Isabella… Is the time approaching where I…
Seth… Why would I ever answer a futuristic question?
Isabella… You told me that you would, that we would revisit it. That you say more or less if that time was approaching you that I could start to be looking to move out.
Seth… Would you not trust me and let me tell you when that time is?
Isabella… I trust you.
Seth… Then if you trust me, have I stated anything yet?
Isabella… You have not given me any information.
Seth… Then I would strongly suggest you understand that. Would it hurt you to start looking? Absolutely not. Would it give you fun? (Isabella made a snorting noise.) Would it be fun?
Isabella… Yeah, but what if I see something that I really love?
Seth… Then you would have to make a decision, don’t you?
Isabella… That is not helping me at all.
Seth… Whose life is it, mine or yours?
Isabella… You told me you would help me. When you told me when the time was right that you…
Seth… How are you doing in your community work?
Isabella… Very good.
Seth… And how long has that very good been handling there?
Isabella… Good two weeks.
Seth… Ah, I believe we have answered the question. (Group laughter including Isabella.)
You have yet to put in your three-hundred and fifty hours of community service.
Frank… I have a question involving the idea of a pill like with a vitamin. If you… what if you believe in the vitamin at one time and the next minute you don’t believe in the vitamin.
Seth… It doesn’t work that way, next.
Jasmine… In the vitamins?
Frank… Are you sure it doesn’t work that way? It can work that way, the idea of ambivalence, the idea of I believe…
Seth… You cannot change what you believe in from one second to the next, does not work that way.
Frank… Well, you know what; maybe what you believe is that you are not really sure. (Stephanie laughs.) Like, I don’t really know if I believe in vitamins or not.
Seth… Did you?
Frank… Yeah, ah…
Seth… If you eat properly…
Frank… Right, you mean getting enough vitamins.
Seth… then you may not need any supplements. But you don’t do you?
Frank… Do I what eat naturally, properly?
Seth… Properly. (There was some group discussion including the fried chicken Frank had out to dinner.)
Frank… I don’t think I eat so poorly.
Seth… I didn’t say that did I? Is eighty percent of your intake fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts without cooking?
Frank… No.
Seth… Let’s move along. Are there any other questions? (Isabella said something about looking for the apartment, there was some laughter and Seth responded 360 hours.)
Then let me leave you with this: Giving and receiving allows you to change. Over-giving and improper receiving due to expectations with fear and anger and resentment, your wants magnify and your needs flounder. The old statement is true, be very careful of what you wish for indeed you may be sorry to get it. A pleasant evening to all.
The Carpenter’s Story and Not Bringing Home Your Problems
Tuesday November 4, 2008
8:15 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here, again. A little bit of housekeeping, Isabella, how do you have to do the typing?
Isabella… One week.
Seth… You don’t but I will give you one week. And how is the reading of the material coming along, where are you?
Isabella… Slow, probably page 16 but I am purposely reading it slowly.
Seth… And if you have questions, and you should.
Isabella… And I am highlighting.
Seth… If you have questions, write them down and we will go over them. Jasmine, how is the reading coming for you?
Jasmine… I have not started it yet.
Seth… Well, let’s ask a simple question. From my research it is obvious that you are having some difficulties.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Well, if someone would give you a key to unlock a door which would certainly help you improve your perception, the question is why have you thrown the key away? And that all has to do with your willingness to work; we shall deal with that at a latter point of reference.
Under our idea of Change, I would like to relate an old story for you. This carpenter down in the southern portion of your country has had a very bad day. First, his truck breaks down and he is late for his job. While on the job three of his pieces of equipment, one of his tools breaks. Next, he cuts himself and when a friend of his who has volunteered to give him a ride home and in response to this man’s kindness, he invites him to dinner. As they arrive to our carpenter’s home our carpenter puts his hands into his pocket and as they pass by a tree in front of his home he goes ahead and throws the air that was in his pockets towards the tree. They both enter our carpenter’s home and are greeted by his family in a warm and loving manner. The carpenter’s friend had a lovely meal and as the carpenter walks him out to his car the friend turns to him and asks him a question, “I noticed that you did something very strange as we were about to enter your home. You put your hands in your pockets, and you threw air at the tree. I’ve never seen anything like this, why did you do that?”
And the carpenter said, “Yes, that is my trouble tree. Every night when I come home, I empty my pockets and throw my troubles to the tree and in the morning when I leave for work and gather everything that I need to take with me. And yet, it never fails to amaze me, how few problems I really had, for most of them were but figments of foolish thoughts and actions that amount to nothing.” (This is one of my favorite Seth stories or parables. I have told it many times and now I notice that I have embellished it to twice its length! F.N.)
And so, my dear students, we are going to go around this table, we are going to ask the following: Why do you bring your problems home into your house? And why do you push them upon your friends, relatives, children instead of leaving (Pronounced as a-leaving as in alleviate,) them where there should be? Who would like to go first?
Stephanie… What are you asking? Why…
Seth… I’m trying to understand while you keep bringing your problems home with you instead of leaving them go.
Stephanie… Well, because I just heard about the trouble tree story. (Frank giggled softly.)
Seth… Have I not given you this idea in many different ways?
Stephanie… Probably but this was much more remarkable to me.
Seth… So, since you have volunteered to go first, (Stephanie laughed.) what is it that you notice about yourself when you bring things home?
Stephanie… Just that I would be miserable.
Seth… Why keep doing it?
Stephanie… Ahh, just because it is habit.
Seth… That does not make any sense.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Well, I guess I don’t necessarily know what else I would be doing with it.
Seth… Yet, you do nothing to alleviate it, do you?
Stephanie… Sure, I do.
Seth… What? Show me how.
Stephanie… I talk to the man through whom you speak.
Seth… But you’re still bringing them home. You’re not leaving them go. How often have I said, you can participate in a negative line of study, or you can leave it go. Is there anyone here including you, Betty who does not willingly participate in negative lines of study, some more than others obviously? Any comments?
Stephanie… Last night, I have been in a pretty decent place at like eleven o’clock, a wave of yuck came over me. (Stephanie laughs.) Best way I can describe it and I really wasn’t really exactly sure, I could take certain guesses at it and I spoke to Jerry about it today and when I left it go after that but had I done what you’re talking about I would have acknowledged whatever I thought it was, took a stab at it and then left it go there and not held onto it, is that what you are talking about?
Seth… In all religion and you do not have to be religious obviously to do what I am going to tell you there are always symbolic gestures that allow the faithful if you would like to call them that to cast off their “sins”. They throw them into a river, they bury them. And the question again is and we will start with you Betty, what do you do to not take your problems home?
Betty… I just make very good use of my fireplace.
Seth… And what happens now why have you not been doing that?
Betty… I don’t have one that actually burns…
Seth… Do you need a real fireplace?
Betty… Other things that I have done? I have a God box that I just dump stuff in if I can’t leave it out of the door before I get in the house. For the most part I don’t bring it home, honestly.
Seth… Hiding from your problems and not facing them means that they are living with you. Isabella?
Isabella… I do nothing to try not to bring them home.
Seth… I could have said that… Don’t give the microphone away. (Group laughs.) We are not finished with you, at all. I noticed recently that you have at times asked for a sense of direction, how much effort have you put into it?
Isabella… A lot, this week.
Seth… How many of the problems if I asked to see them written on a piece of paper can you show me?
Isabella… Oh that, that…
Seth… Oh that.
Isabella… I thought you meant the other one that we were working on because I really was focusing on…
Seth… I understand what you’re focusing on but if you had written down your problems and looked for the solutions you don’t need last week.
Isabella… Don’t need last week’s?
Seth… Methodology.
Isabella… Which is to be over generous and that kind of stuff?
Seth… Because you would have automatically done it.
Isabella… Okay. You know, I don’t know why I am having a hard time with the writing down, maybe I don’t understand, not that, that I have been doing all week long, I mean the writing done of the question of the problem. I don’t really understand exactly what I am supposed to do, and I think that’s why I am not doing it.
Seth… If you have a difficulty, there is something that is either bothering you or that you don’t understand, what do you believe is the purpose for writing that information down?
Isabella… To analyze it.
Seth… Well, besides analyzing it?
Isabella… To make, to give it a view, a voice, I guess.
Seth… To allow yourself to see and then to refer back to that which is bothering you.
Jasmine… May I ask a question?
Seth… I would never say, no.
Jasmine… Isn’t trying to understand the problem or isolate the problem very significant for people who have just a nonspecific depression? In other words, when you don’t really know what is bothering you and you just feel down or sad or agitated or anxious, it’s you don’t know what is going on but if you try to figure out what the problem is you say well, what could be causing this? Well, I was sad about this, and you write that down or I had issues with my family, recurrent issues, I mean doesn’t that help when you can start to see where it is coming from? It makes you feel much less out of control.
Seth… Is that not what I just said?
Jasmine… I didn’t hear you say that I heard you say that you should just write it down.
Seth… And I asked a question as to why. In other words, let us give you the same task.
Jasmine… Well, I had a specific example; I had a specific thing happen one day. I forget what day it was, alright…
Seth… And therefore, if you wrote it down…
Jasmine… It was either yesterday or the day before, Saturday. It was Saturday. I woke up and I thought it was alright but then had this overwhelming sadness come over me. Couldn’t quite figure out what was going on and I was going to have a very nice day. Jerry and I were going to play golf together and we had nice plans in the evening, but I was just very down, crying then. I called Stephanie and we talked about it. She was able to help me understand where this sadness was coming from and I was able to just say, “Oh, well okay, thank god, at least there is a reason for it.” Because I felt so, you know…
Seth… Distraught.
Jasmine… Yeah, it’s really lousy to not know why you are down. It is like I said to Stephanie you feel like one of the people from the Cymbalta commercial, you know?
Seth… So, my question again to you is your challenge now is whenever you have a “problem” is to immediately write down the problem as you see it.
Jasmine… Well, I didn’t have a clue at the time.
Seth… Once you start stating things such as I am depressed, I am bothered, things will start coming to you because if you are an individual who says I am depressed and I can never figure out what is bothering me then of course your ability to be rational even with yourself is vastly diminished and since you are not in that category we will not deal with that. The common tendency here is to not want to or allow yourself to find the problem and that occurs out of fear.
Isabella… But what if is the same theme or problem and over and over and over again.
Seth… Well, that is yours and I will deal with finding a mate in a few minutes. Frank, you may answer the question next.
Isabella… But its (Unclear.) not about finding a mate it’s about…
Seth… There is much more to it than that. Let me get to my lecture and it will be most helpful.
Frank… I think that I do make an effort to not to bring home problems and I do make an effort to work on solving my problems and issues. I do write things down. I think that…
Seth… If that were true to the extent that you are now professing that it is true…
Frank… But I am not saying it is completely true.
Seth… That you are professing that it is true, the difficulty you have certainly in where you are valuing your place within your family would become nonexistent. Very commonly you allow the others in your family to take a more dominant role because that is your pattern. In other words, you allow others to lead when in reality you should be doing the leading. One of your comments this evening was facing the difficulty that your youngest child has with filling out applications. Well, the simple answer is, I’m going to sit down and give you assistance if you would like me to, but I want these things done as soon as possible because if you choose not to do them including your criteria for doing them then you might as well stay home. And what you state you mean. That of course has to be done because when people have a tendency to become lackadaisical, they allow events to carry them instead of reshaping the events for themselves. You understand?
Frank… Yeah, Emma is doing that, and I am doing it in the sense by not being more…
Seth… Strong.
Frank… Strong and firm.
Seth… Next, Arthur.
Arthur… Is this idea of writing things down something that was given in a lecture in the last couple of weeks?
Seth… Oh, a few minutes ago.
Arthur… Em hmm. I think I bring my problems to friends more since I don’t have…
Seth… Bringing a problem to a friend is bringing them home.
Arthur… Yeah, that’s what I was saying, I think I, you said bring them at home or bring them… there is nobody.
Seth… Who do you walk in the door with?
Arthur… And I’ve actually in the last couple of weeks I’ve made changes especially with what has been happening in the world to let go of some problems or let go of worry about something and it had good results. I have to say I don’t do that the majority of time but that’s an interesting shift.
Seth… You still have to work on it because you have a tendency to hurt yourself, let’s put it to you that way.
In relationship issues, which is what you are all dealing with here, the object of finding a mate, someone that you can deal with on an equal footing must become secondary to the idea that you yourself are your own mate. Now the reason that that is factual and preferable since you cannot define and certainly not create that which you desire until you define yourself. One must always have the ability to reshape what you are. You must become aware of what your true needs are. Most individuals deal with want as if they were needs. I want this, I would like that, these are very, very simple ideas that eventually push you away from your true goal. The question arises, what is that true goal? Simply put, that true goal is the creation of a self that allows growth and prosperity to take center stage during that soul’s incarnation. It should be obvious here that the idea of re-creating yourself is mandatory if you choose to promote yourself into a higher plane of study. Simply put this means your first framework which is where you are now receives information, the words if you will from the second framework which are your writers. When you promote yourself to a higher plane you are causing your writers to become more interested in your growth and prosperity than they are in your day-to-day activities. Old souls routinely view this higher realm of thought as the basis for their background during their incarnations. (Jasmine asked to repeat which Seth did.) This gives you the ability to learn and change for yourself.
Jasmine… I don’t…
Seth… What are you confused about Jasmine?
Jasmine… So, the true goal is the creation of the self that allows growth and prosperity to take center stage.
Seth… Correct. Why is that important to you?
Jasmine… It’s important because that is what we are here to do.
Seth… That statement does not help you.
Jasmine… Well, you want to change who you are at the moment, in my case because I have too many negative issues.
Seth… And you want to create an individual who knows how to handle negativity and can learn how to be happy.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… That is what that statement means to you.
Jasmine… Right, now…
Seth… At least I got something right.
Jasmine… (Jasmine was reading back to material to herself.) Huh, okay that I understand. That if you are going to recreate yourself that it’s mandatory to do that if you are going to choose to promote yourself into a higher plane of study. Does that mean here or in the next incarnation?
Seth… Here.
Jasmine… Okay, so you accomplish this thing, in my case…
Seth… This task.
Jasmine… this task and then I will move on to something else that will involve a higher plane of study?
Seth… No, that higher plane of study will allow you to accomplish your task.
Jasmine… But it says here that the idea of recreating yourself is mandatory if you choose to promote yourself into a higher plan.
Seth… Correct. In other words, if you choose not to become someone who is fearful, who wallows into negativity, who is chronically unhappy…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… you must recreate yourself so that your higher plane of study can look at these issues in a productive manner.
Jasmine… You are talking about the writers?
Seth… Right, that is correct.
Jasmine… The writers are the higher plane of study?
Seth… The writers grab from a higher plane of study instead of giving you the worry and the bother on a day-to-day basis. In other words, let me put it to you in a simple way, when you enmesh yourself in Isabella’s life your writers are writing very simply. You react in that way, you become miserable. If you were to recreate yourself…
Jasmine… The writers are writing my reactions?
Seth… Writers are the show, you are the actor.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… What goes on now here in your incarnation you are creating, you are creating from the second plane, the second framework.
Jasmine… Through the writers which are part of my higher self.
Seth… Correct. When you then go ahead and state, I am going to recreate myself into an individual that either can assist my daughter or just ignore her ridiculous actions, you can then look at her actions and say, “She is doing it again, if she asks for an opinion I will give it, otherwise I am going to go out, know what she is doing and I am going to be happy doing something else. I am going to ignore her.” So, your higher plane is giving you the ability to look at a negative line of study, yours towards Isabella and not have difficulty. Otherwise, you’re writing, “Isabella had a problem. I don’t like the man she is going out with. I’m worried that…, I am fearful that…, she does that.” What then happens is your wants are so great that you pass them along to Isabella who immediately becomes angry. And she becomes angry because she is dealing with the same problem with you over and over and over again. You then become angry because she is not being nice. So, you are going around in a circle and gaining nothing. The moment you foster a change in yourself and ignore what she does and promote you by doing something that you enjoy, whatever that is it matters not, Isabella will come to you and say, “You know this is what I am seeing with this fellow,” and you will give a simple opinion whatever it is and you will move along and she will say, “My mother didn’t get involved here, she just gave her opinion and walked away. Maybe I will take her advice, maybe I won’t.” For that is her choice and you’re not involved. Do you understand how creating from a higher plane gives you the freedom that you currently do not enjoy? Does this make more sense to you now?
Jasmine… I…
Seth… What do you get that you don’t understand?
Jasmine… I understand.
Seth… No, you don’t.
Jasmine… Yes, I do.
Seth… Please explain it to me?
Jasmine… Well, you just said that if I want to create a self that will allow for my growth and prosperity, I have to stop being so negative, I have to…
Seth… That would be your choice; you don’t have to do anything.
Jasmine… Well without that I’m not; I’m obviously not growing…
Seth… You’ll pick it up in another incarnation, it matters not.
Jasmine… We are talking about this incarnation, obviously. So, in order to do that I have to choose to promote myself and choose to leave those behaviors at the door, not bring them in here and in fact to not even let them in during the day. It’s not just at the door which is something I wanted to say to you before. You can’t just throw them out it’s synonymous of the whole day
Seth… The door, the door is symbolic.
Jasmine… And in the case of Isabella, she is not always the source of my negativity.
Seth… Who’s responsible for your negativity?
Jasmine… I’m responsible for it.
Seth… Correct. And who should be responsible for your happiness?
Jasmine… Me.
Seth… Do you need anyone to make your happiness better?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… Therefore, your choice…
Jasmine… Because that it is something I am working on.
Seth… Your choice is to never require anyone to give you happiness.
Jasmine… That’s true but there are normal things in life where you just feel happy because your child is happy…
Seth… When you become… when you become… (Seth and Jasmine talking at the same time.)
Jasmine… or you’re seeing your grandson, and he is not so shy that he won’t go trick or treating. Those are normal things.
Seth… Those are things; that is not what we are talking about. You are becoming very, very idea oriented here in terms of what you as an individual believe should be. That is not actually possible or factual. You require only yourself, something that gives you pleasure is nice to have.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… But that is a specific, you need yourself first before anything else.
Jasmine… I understand that.
Seth… Let us go on. One must learn for themselves; one must attempt to fabricate the idea of a re-creation of that which you are into something that you would choose to become.
Isabella… Two things?
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… When you say fabricate, you mean if someone…
Seth… Create.
Isabella… So…
Seth… Make into.
Isabella… Fabricate the idea of re-creating of that which you are into something that you would choose to become so I guess; I was talking to Stephanie today about the idea that it saddens me that I have such a hard time giving of self so easily. And that (Isabella is upset.) I don’t really understand where that comes from, the idea that it is so hard for me just to not be selfish and to give which is a quality I truly hate about myself and that, you know this week when I was trying so hard to be giving and…
Seth… How did it make you feel to give?
Isabella… It feels good but it’s hard to do it and that’s what I find…
Seth… Because you don’t know how.
Isabella… But that’s what I found so upsetting because I found it hard. I found it like I was almost faking. Does that make sense? It wasn’t like, you know it was so weird for me to be acting that way that it felt awkward.
Seth… Why do you feel that that is so?
Isabella… Because I never did it before.
Seth… You never did it before; the first time you rode a bicycle how easy was it?
Isabella… I understand what you are saying but it saddens me that, that I have that quality. That is so, that is such a horrible thing.
Seth… It is not a question of horrible thing; it is a question of what you never learned how to do. So when you learn how to do it you will look back on it after you recreate yourself after you have your second framework write a different story for you and you will state to yourself, “It is much better to be able to give,” which will (This was unclear but essentially led to the question: Why is it not profitable to be too giving?) and give us all a bit of homework except for Kaetorina who already knows the answer and she will not discuss this with anybody. (To Stephanie.) Do you understand? It is a question of homework for all, if I tell you never to be too giving the question is why? And that we will start discussing next week. At this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:00 P.M.)
Seth… Are there any questions?
Isabella… Yeah, I am getting to a point where I am really beginning to focus on the things that I don’t like about myself and…
Seth… I do not understand your statement.
Isabella… The things that I would like to change about myself. That better?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Okay. The things that prevent me from growing and developing are becoming more prominent and I am becoming more aware of them.
Seth… Leave out the word prominent.
Isabella… I’m becoming more aware of them, and it really has nothing to do with finding a mate.
Seth… Everything has to do with finding a mate and it has everything to do with your long-range goal which is?
Isabella… Happiness.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… But what I am saying is these qualities that I find within myself are truly a me issue and not necessarily caused by somebody else and I understand what you’re saying that’s all about finding. I understand that about the mate and being able to utilize these things to make sure that I…
Seth… If you are happy and joyful with yourself, correct?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… What will you attract to yourself?
Isabella… The same in return.
Seth… See how one works with the other?
Isabella… I understand that.
Seth… So, your job this week is simply to do what?
Isabella… To write down the problems I have.
Seth… And identify it and then after you write it down how many solutions are you supposed to put down?
Isabella… As many as I can think of.
Seth… At least five.
Isabella… I am supposed to answer the questions.
Seth… Answer the questions by writing five possible solutions to the difficulty.
Isabella… So.
Seth… And then examine those five and move towards one of them.
Isabella… My issue is coming up with the idea of when what is the problem.
Seth… Of course, it is. Do you think that you are alone?
Isabella… Sometimes.
Seth… You’re never alone. (Said softly.) Write that down, I am never alone.
Isabella… I know I’m never alone. But, you know, I went to the therapist today and she was telling me that I can’t possibly prosper living in my parent’s house. I can’t possibly learn to be independent and feel like a grown up while I am living here. (Jasmine may have said something.) Excuse me, and that goes against everything that you’ve been saying.
Seth… That is absolutely correct, I am right, they are wrong, and it is simply put this way: Let us assume that you are living in an apartment alone. All you are then doing is having to go shopping for yourself, having to go ahead and wake up in the morning, leave and pay your own bills.
Isabella… Em hm.
Seth… You’re paying your own bills now to an extent except for not paying rent.
Isabella… I have offered.
Seth… Not even important. And so, you gain nothing, you gain nothing about learning interpersonal relationships by being alone. In fact, it may become detrimental to you. It is detrimental because your problems stem directly with your husband-ex, your past boyfriends-exs because you did not understand how to deal with them. You became lazy, demanding and reliant upon them. Show me how living alone helps that situation?
Isabella… Well, I guess in terms of the knowledge that I can take care of myself.
Seth… Can you take care of yourself?
Isabella… Absolutely.
Seth… Then please show me how doing what was stated makes you prosper?
Isabella… It doesn’t. But in reality, Mom also came to me and said that she feels I should be living by myself; you know.
Seth… That is an opinion for other reasons. Let’s leave that alone for the time being.
Isabella… No, well, I’m not going to leave it alone because it made me think so, you know, I felt…
Seth… Jasmine has difficulty with you living here because she enmeshes herself in your difficulties and if you were not here, she would not be able to do so, so readily. That is her problem, do not make it yours.
Isabella… Okay, I don’t want to contribute to her problems though.
Seth… You contribute to her problem whether you want to or not. That is not the issue. We are talking about Isabella.
Isabella… I understand that. I am beginning to understand the value of living here. More so than I ever have. I understand the value…
Seth… Do I believe you should live here for another five years? Absolutely not.
Isabella… No, I know, I understand that, and I don’t obviously think it is going to be a long period of time.
Seth… Then you must learn to give and to live in a proper communal relationship. The great difficulty that you have is that you walk into a community, you isolate yourself, you do not offer to give properly, and you do this with ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends and in your current living condition. So, when you learn to give properly, when you learn to give of self in a fair and just manner please move out as soon as you can because you will not then expect others to do for you. You expect others to care for you.
Isabella… Not really.
Seth… Absolutely, guaranteed.
Isabella… Can you explain how I expect others to do for me? In the sense of living here?
Seth… You expect others to take in your laundry, take it out.
Isabella… No, I do not.
Seth… Excuse me, your dry cleaning you absolutely do ask for favors. Do not learn to ask for them, ask for them to do them yourself, that’s number one. Number two, okay, do you routinely help with dinner, the answer is no. Do you go ahead and routinely say, don’t bother with the dishes, I am going to do it all myself, the answer is no. Do you go ahead and say my dog has made a mess; I clean up the dog don’t even bother to ask about it, it will be done on a day-to-day basis and do it on a day-to-day basis. There are so many things that you do not do because you do not know how and that is your problem.
Isabella… Well, I guess it is about for…
Seth… And it is sharing of self in a proper manner.
Isabella… So why don’t I know how to do it?
Seth… Because A, you never observed it.
Isabella… What do you mean by never observed it?
Seth… You never observed, women model themselves after the female of the house if there is one. Jasmine believes that she requires somebody to care and to do for her. That is what you learned. Therefore, you have to unlearn that and learn to do for yourself. That is one of the primary reasons why I have stated that moving out for you would be a great miscarriage of justice. You cannot learn these things living alone because the second knowing you and I know you far better than you know yourself someone comes into you meaning you are now sharing with them; you demand that they do for you. In other words, why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you contact me? When I call you, you never responded back quickly enough. (Isabella is acknowledging throughout this exchange with “Em.”) When I wanted to do this, you weren’t interested. All these things have to be unlearned until they can be learned in a proper manner.
And the great difficulty I have with you therapist people is the simple idea that you only hear half of a story. You don’t see the other half because it cannot be reported fairly since the person who is giving the story is biased to begin with for there is no one who reports and goes to a therapist and says I am an evil person, I did this horrible thing, I don’t do that horrible thing; I am only caring for myself. So, you go ahead and cloak if you will, you camouflage even unwillingly camouflage that which you present to someone else. For example, when you go ahead and you deal with a new male figure, isn’t it common that both individuals are always both on their best behavior for quite a length of time?
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… Then all of a sudden you will see things and you will say to yourself, “Where did this come from! Why did this show up now? How come I didn’t see that?” Well, those are the cloaking and camouflage devices that individuals use even when they don’t want to.
Isabella… So…
Seth… And when you become comfortable the real persona shows up.
Isabella… So, let’s just say I meet somebody new, just use it as example and he doesn’t call me for a day, and it bothers me.
Seth… Why?
Isabella… Because I would feel that that is a rejection, let’s just say.
Seth… You want instead of giving.
Isabella… Explain.
Seth… In other words, you want him to do everything he can for you and my question would be, why?
Isabella… Because in the sense that would make me feel good about me because I was defining myself based on the fact that he called or didn’t call.
Seth… And should you do that?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Okay.
Isabella… So, then I guess the challenge is to say to yourself or myself, it’s okay that this person didn’t call and if they do, great and if they don’t screw him.
Seth… You are just as great.
Isabella… Kind of thing. You know what I mean?
Seth… You learn from negativity by not participating in it.
Isabella… Right so it is kind of like, I guess where I get confused is the idea that the thought will come in or the upsetedness or whatever and then I want to just be able to say screw it and let it go but the problem is that I kind of harp on that.
Seth… Did you throw your troubles at the tree?
Isabella… No.
Seth… You brought them into the house.
Isabella… But is it okay to have the thought in the first place?
Seth… Of course, it is.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Would you be normal not to say, “Hmm I thought I had a good time; I wonder why?”
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Well, I am never going to know the reason, that’s the end of that, you move your trouble away…
Isabella… And move along.
Seth… and move along.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You see the difference?
Isabella… Yes, I do.
Seth… And the idea of someone telling you that you will never grow up if, foolish statement because you will never learn to live properly unless you do. Which is more important?
Isabella… The latter.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… In this situation with Joe this weekend that just past and I felt that he was not being affectionate enough or in terms of the fact that he was, is not willing to pick up and move here, let’s just say or drop his life for me or whatever.
Seth… What does that tell you about him?
Isabella… You see but that is contradictory to what you were just saying.
Seth… No, it is not.
Isabella… It is contradictory.
Seth… No, it is not, why not?
Isabella… Well, I have already come to the conclusion that I know that it’s not going anywhere but my problem is that I said he can’t fulfill the needs that I have.
Seth… I understand what you are saying but that is not the issue. He is in a relationship; any fair relationship one person will give a little more, one person will give a little less in certain instances and it works in like a pendulum. When one person is only considering themselves as you commonly do for yourself, it can’t work, it doesn’t work because there is no fair compromise here and what you are seeing here with Joseph is the fact that all that he has dealt with Jasmine in a number of lifetimes the idea is and it is a simple one, I am so enmeshed in myself that I know nothing else.
Isabella… Yeah, he is, very much so.
Seth… And therefore, I cannot grow, I cannot prosper, I cannot learn because I am stagnant. That is what is wrong.
Isabella… I know, I notice that.
Seth… And therefore…
Isabella… And I am okay with that, and I am okay with recognizing him for who he is and all that and understanding.
Seth… And that will not change unless he decides to change it and obviously, he doesn’t want to.
Isabella… Obviously, so I mean; I understand what you are saying but my question is was I being too needy?
Seth… Let’s assume that you were.
Isabella… You know what I mean like…
Seth… Let us assume that you were, whether you were or not matters not.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Let us assume that you were being too needy, what does that teach you?
Isabella… Um…
Seth… That you have to learn to live properly in a community and that is part of the question that I add to the end of the formal lecture: What does it mean to give too much? You will have to think about that for a week as part of your homework.
Isabella… You completely lost me…
Seth… I know I did, and you are going to have to think about it.
Isabella… because when I said that you said what did you learn from being too needy, you learn to live in a community.
Seth… No, you have to learn to live in a community, not that you do live in a community. When you are too needy you have to learn to live properly in a community. You have to learn to share that which the community requires.
Isabella… Yeah, but how did that, but how did my being too needy in this situation with Joe this weekend have to do with anything with living in a community?
Seth… If you live with one person how does that mean you are not living in a community?
Isabella… If I live with one person?
Seth… When you lived with your husband…
Isabella… Right, yes, I understand that.
Seth… Same thing here.
Isabella… I don’t know why I am not grasping.
Seth… You will have to contemplate it.
Isabella… I don’t understand what you just said at all.
Seth… I understand that.
Isabella… So, can you just repeat what you said so that I can understand it?
Seth… I am simply stating that when you are in the process of living with someone…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… and you are so needy…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… what are you asking?
Isabella… Everything.
Seth… What’s wrong with that?
Isabella… You’re not splitting the responsibilities let’s just say.
Seth… You’re not being an equal partner.
Isabella… Right, I understand that.
Seth… And that is what being too needy is.
Isabella… So, I wasn’t being an equal partner to him this weekend?
Seth… Whether you were or not matters not because his play was different than yours.
Isabella… Okay well I mean that’s really what I am getting; I am trying to figure out exactly where if I was being too needy.
Seth… And I said hypothetically let’s assume that you were, but it had nothing to do with what he was.
Isabella… Right, okay, that’s cool.
Seth… Which is what I stated in the beginning.
Isabella… Well, it was very roundabout.
Seth… No, it wasn’t. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I have a trust question.
Seth… Trust me, that’s the answer. (Said humorously.)
Stephanie… (Laughed.) How do you leave the troubles at the door so to speak when, how, no, how do you trust that the troubles will leave in order to leave go of the troubles?
Seth… You leave go of the troubles first, you don’t dwell on them.
Stephanie… But in order to do that don’t you have to trust the troubles will leave?
Seth… No, not at all because you may require the solutions tomorrow, the next day or the next or the next day. When you are at home you choose to become at rest and at peace. You choose to be happy, simply put. Choose to be happy whatever that statement means to you. Choose…to…be…happy. (Seth tapped on the table to indicate to write down.)
Stephanie… Right and for me that would be in a restful place.
Seth… Calm place.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… You do not require as our friend Frank does the answers immediately.
Stephanie… Right, okay so it is the idea knowing of course that the universe will provide solutions, and it already has at the same moment the problems were created. It is the idea of knowing that they will play themselves out in a favorable…
Seth… In any way they do.
Stephanie… Okay that would…
Seth… You may not get your quote unquote “desire” because that would be unreasonable. However, what you must understand is that when you leave your troubles here and don’t dwell upon them you give yourself a chance to reflect, to relax and to prosper and very commonly the problems are so unimportant to you, you need never to bother with them again.
Stephanie… The perception of the problem or the actual problem?
Seth… The actual problem becomes very commonly not important to you, leave it go. You never pick it up again. That was why in the story when our carpenter stated commonly when I go out the next morning I didn’t have as many problems as I thought I did and they weren’t as serious as I thought they were.
Stephanie… Um, but let’s just take a hypothetical and I don’t really think this is going to occur, but I am just going to use it. When I went into a fearful place about Bill losing his job for example.
Seth… Let’s assume that he did.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Let’s assume that he does.
Stephanie… So how is that a fabrication of a problem?
Seth… Because you’re dwelling on it when something didn’t occur. You are bringing it home…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… You become very worried about it, have you not previously spoken to him about it and given him solutions?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Has the man through whom I speak spoken to him about it and given him other solutions?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Why are you bringing it into the house and becoming foolish about it?
Stephanie… Right, I understand that what if he lost his job tomorrow then what would I do with those troubles and how would I see they are not existent.
Seth… The troubles still stay at the doorstep because he is already put into motion things to rectify those difficulties.
Stephanie… Let’s say the person didn’t in the hypothetical.
Seth… And if the person doesn’t then he can so he will have to take steps to remedy whatever those problems are but to take them home with you and to spend night after night worrying, contemplating and making yourself ill what happens to the problems? They become larger.
Stephanie… Right, especially also if it is not literally your play.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Which is a bigger issue more so because I have no control.
Seth… No control at all.
Stephanie… So that’s really the first reason to abandon that problem anyway because it is not really mine?
Seth… It isn’t yours.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Any other questions?
Frank… Can you give me any more information on the dream animals that I had during the week?
Seth… Give us a moment. The dream animals are aspects of your own personality that you have broken up to examine why you have a great tendency to jail yourself and not allow yourself the freedom to roam freely, whether it be thought, whether it be action whether it would be certain associative aspects of your own personality that you would like to be able to achieve. The taking of your hand and trying to lead you out, it is you yourself trying to pull yourself out of the jail or in your instance a corral.
Frank… Does it matter the animal.
Seth… No, they were just pieces of you
Frank… Okay but um, okay.
Isabella… Is there a way to avoid having bad dreams?
Seth… No and in fact you want them.
Isabella… Because I have bad dreams almost every single night.
Seth… Because you want them, you want something to know that you are working on. And in fact, you get most of your great answers by being fearful in your dreams because in reality you are more awake there than you are here. You do understand that?
Isabella… Because my dreams are intense, and I wake up and I am affected for hours.
Seth… Because you allow yourself to be affected for hours instead of saying I know I am working on difficulties, and you then ask yourself if you have time to go back to asleep to let us see if I can find a nice solution to this difficulty.
Isabella… And lately a lot of my dreams have been about losing Krypto.
Seth… In general, a loss or being alone, it doesn’t matter who it was. It could have been the animal, meaning the dog. It could have been your father, your mother, could be loss of a husband, could be a loss of a friend, could have been a loss of a job, could have been a loss of anything else. It is the idea of loss that you are dealing with here. You understand?
Isabella… So, it is just work.
Seth… It is just work. Whether the animal, your father, your mother, a friend decides to end their incarnation tonight…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… has nothing to do in reality with what you are dealing with here.
Isabella… In my dream, meaning?
Seth… Correct. It is the general aspect of loss…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… that you are having difficulty with. Does that make it clearer for you?
Isabella… Yeah, but it is disturbing.
Seth… Should it not be? How can you deal with something that for you would be a problem?
Isabella… A lot of times they are like horrible, they are like nightmares.
Seth… It is what you are remembering from other planes that you are bringing in. It is the trying to identify that which is really bothering you.
Frank… Why does it seem like you are less aware? Because you are remembering from this side?
Seth… No. When you work in a dream state you are not here and you are working on the problem in many different avenues, realms if you will, dimensions. Well if you are working within a dimension of only sound or you are working within a dimension of only color that which appears to you here cannot be a true representation of what was there so as you are coming back here there are sign posts you set up, you bring it here, you bring it here, you bring it here and as you come in you are gathering information that you have to interpret in terms of physical plane being and as you interpret that in terms of physical plane being things become distorted. So, for example, what you would say as wearing a bad hat here may be a bluff in a western scene somewhere else, flat top.
Frank… But specifically, with the animal dream, what I remember was that I wasn’t even being aware of being fearful but yet I saw it as a representation of the dream. So, it seems like I was less aware, like why didn’t I get that? That I was being fearful and should face it.
Seth… Why are you walking into a tree? You have an answer, why are you walking into a tree? Why didn’t I immediately see it and the answer is because you didn’t.
Jasmine… The difficulty for Frank is because he chooses not to look at it?
Seth… No because sometimes it doesn’t make sense and you need an outside source, a friend, a relative, a “therapist” quotes around therapist, okay that will allow you to say this is what my dream was, I don’t understand it. Whether you are fearful or not or want to remember or not want to remember is in fact the same thing, it is just the simple fact that you may not have understood it and that was as simply as I could put it. Don’t make more out of that than it is really worth.
Frank… Understand where, here or there?
Seth… Here because you are coming from there to here.
Frank… In terms of dealing with Katelyn and Emma and speaking to Katelyn…
Seth… Closer, hold the microphone, closer.
Frank… With Cyndi there I was attempting to be helpful to Katelyn who can be very stubborn, and it also came into how aspects of how she treats Emma might also be aspects of how she views her relationship with her boyfriend.
Seth… Certainly possible.
Frank… And at that point she said, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore!”
Seth… Of course, not but isn’t that the same idea of living in a proper community and the same idea that if you don’t live within a proper community and learn how to communicate and learn how to deal with an individual on that level. As an example, where Isabella was sitting, and you don’t learn how to deal with that then the mistakes will carry over to someone or something else. That is the degree of difficulty where the and I put large quotes around this “her therapist” and I question that statement, “you are not going to get anywhere by living at home because you won’t grow up” and my question would be to the therapist would be why not? And her answer to me would be because she becomes so dependent upon…
Frank… She is looking at the wrong thing.
Seth… Totally incorrect.
Frank… Well, my question kind of lands more with, now if I continued to push back that would have been, I think detrimental but could have Katelyn actually heard that absorbed that and then something changes or does the refusal mean, no or is it…
Seth… You will never know. You will never know.
Frank… Unless I see it later on…
Seth… Correct.
Frank… because it would reappear and then I have to be helpful in that regard as best as I can, and it is what it is.
Seth… Correct, it is.
Frank… Does, one of the things I am having trouble with is she does seem to be choosing this boy as the boy and he is very fearful which contributes to her problem with what she is picking out is just so terrible, can I help the boy?
Seth… If he wants it. I cannot…
Frank… I can offer it?
Seth… You cannot, as Kaetorina knows jam it down somebody’s throat, she so enjoys hearing that.
Frank… Am I…
Seth… You will not be able to do anything about it unless he decides to…
Frank… Am I at risk…
Seth… if he desires…
Frank… Right. I could be, I could be more friendly to him and…
Seth… You certainly can if you choose to be and if you don’t choose to be then of course you won’t be.
Frank… I think my fear there is that Katelyn has to find her own mate and then somehow, I am influencing that.
Seth… Your being kindly considerate has nothing to do with anything. Why would you want to go ahead and be aloof, how does that serve him or you? If you do not like the individual…
Frank… My fear was that by not allowing people to work out what they have to work on that I would be interfering or…
Seth… It is not a question of interfering, does the other individual desire your assistance and have they asked for it?
Frank… I haven’t offered enough to know; I don’t know if he would like it or not.
Seth… Well, why would you even offer if he hasn’t asked for it.
Frank… Because he is, because I am seeing that he is having difficulty and she is having difficulty, so I see it and there is difficulty, that’s exactly my question.
Seth… That is not your play.
Frank… I know that’s why I am asking this, but you seem to have said just before that I should offer assistance…
Seth… No.
Frank… but now you are backing away from it.
Seth… I did not back away from it. I clearly stated that if you are not careful you are going to type this session as well.
Frank… (Laughs.) For what? Being a support? (It is March 14, 2010 as I type this, F.N.)
Seth… That’s right. Because I clearly stated to you, clearly, “If he asks for assistance, you can offer it.” Has he asked for assistance?
Frank… Jeez, I think he is too afraid to do that.
Seth… Why?
Frank… Because he is a very fearful guy, or he doesn’t want it.
Seth… So, if you are a friend and you’re kind and you’re generous then you have no problem.
Frank… If I am friendly, if I am kind, if I am generous, I still have to wait…
Seth… Yes, you do.
Frank… and have him ask me that.
Seth… Right, all you have to say is what do you think of or how do you feel about.
Frank… I kind of doubt that this individual will ever be able to go there.
Seth… Then that is not your concern. You cannot live his play.
Frank… I don’t want to live his play; I just want to offer assistance.
Seth… Sure, you do, the second, I want, I want, I want, that is what you said so many times and that is what you are getting is exactly what you asked for.
Frank… I would like to offer.
Seth… No, you want.
Frank… Okay, okay, now.
Seth… And I point out this man is a therapist but go ahead.
Frank… With Emma and this concept of that she marches to the beat of her own drummer.
Seth… So?
Frank… She doesn’t seem to recognize that anybody else has any other kind of tune?
Seth… So?
Frank… So, she seems to be walking into walls, she is not doing her, she has problems with her boyfriend, she has problems with drama, she has problems with getting her application (for college) done.
Seth… As a teacher you point out her difficulties and you very, very, nicely state, very, very nicely state these are things that you are required to do so such as your application if you choose to do them that fine, if you choose not to do them then I don’t want to hear about the fact that you are not going away.
Frank… That doesn’t serve me she has to do, she’ll do.
Seth… Sure, it does and if she chooses not to go away that’s a choice and she will learn from her mistakes.
Frank… I like the answer earlier in the session better where I would sit down with her and do the application because I have abdicated, I should sit down with her.
Seth… No, you will… And she has abdicated her rights so you ask so when are you going to do this? If you don’t, stay home. It’s the same answer.
(Someone said something like to just do them for her.)
Frank… No, I would not do them, I would sit with her, or I would look at it, I haven’t done that. What I have been doing is how far along are you with your application? Have you done this?
Seth… If you don’t get your applications done and you don’t fairly send them to your schools you want to send them you as the parent have monetary issues here and she can also say I would like to send them to this, this, this, you can go ahead, and we will cross the bridge when we come to it.
Frank… Right.
Seth… There is no problem with that, but you can say if you don’t get them out you’re staying home. I would be happy to help you, when are we going to do this? Same answer.
Frank… The final, I think the finale question. When I write or I try to put together newsletters and there are different times when I have difficulties lately in wrapping my head around things because I try to, like I tried to present information on solving problems… (Here Frank became somewhat confused and convoluted.)
Seth… You are walking into trees.
Frank… So how can I…
Seth… Start with a simple question. Problem solving has many aspects and you would start with the simplest one. How to solve a problem, what do I do first? I organize and that’s how you start that portion of a newsletter and then the next month you say after you organize your thoughts, after you look at the problem carefully, you are going to list five or six or two possible solutions and after you look at solutions you are going to pick the one that best satisfies your needs. You can break up the problem solving into many different aspects. Do you understand?
Frank… I do. I’m not sure who is even reading the newsletter.
Seth… That’s why you go ahead, and you deal with the idea on a very simple basis.
Frank… One should be able to read one and not know the others exist and still get something out of it and not have it be confusing send them down a trail.
Seth… Correct. So, you start simply because in the second one you refer back to the first, now that you have identified the problem you’ve written it down here is the next step.
Frank… Alright.
Seth… Let me leave you with this: Change is a process, sometimes it is quite simple, at other times it is quite difficult. When change is incorporated into self you will learn to promote a higher way of thinking and in doing so your needs become apparent and your wants are only aspects of the question itself. Remember your homework, why is it not profitable, why is it incorrect to be too giving? I bid you all a very fond good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here again. We shall deal with some housekeeping first. This goes as a warning; do you remember the date Kaetorina that you were supposed to finish your book?
Stephanie… Um, November seventh? Sixth or seventh, one of the two.
Seth… Try the fifth.
Stephanie… The fifth!?
Seth… The fifth.
Stephanie… How come you nodded your head the seventh in the Diner?
Seth… Fifth. Now and therefore, that means by next week. That’s the first warning, second warning is you have one week, Isabella. One week.
Isabella… Two weeks, I have two weeks left.
Seth… That was from last week to this week.
Isabella… No, I have two weeks left, three weeks last week. Yes, I have three weeks.
Seth… You have one week left. Do not argue.
Isabella… That’s not possible.
Seth… Well then you know what I will do.
Isabella… What? No questions?
Seth… That is correct.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… So that’s two. Third one, Isabella, can you please define for me the idea and the word, “support”?
Isabella… The idea of support is where someone or something relies or counts on something else to assist in troublesome situations as a support as a, you know, a.k.a. backbone.
Seth… One might carefully state that the idea of support might be… I shall pause here until you return. (Krypto and George’s dogs were overly active so Isabella went to put them upstairs.)
While we are waiting Kaetorina, the concept here of both you and the man through whom I speak of doing numbers is taking, how should we put this delicately? A nonexistent attitude in most ideas that both of you have to get much more involved with. When I finish the lecture, I will go ahead and when I meet with you privately change your numbers.
Stephanie… Yah… ookay.
Seth… Getting back to you Isabella…
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… The idea of support is to give buoyancy to, to lift up, to protect, to assist, to make another’s life easier. Now all of this of course, has to do with the idea of Change. One of the responsibilities that you have is to make changes so that when you are on your own or involved in a long-term relationship the difficulties that you have had in the past do not follow you. Do you understand so far?
Isabella… One of my responsibilities is to change so that when I am on my own or in a relationship. That was all I got.
Seth… On your own or in a long-term relationship, do not follow you.
Isabella… The problems?
Seth… The difficulties that you have had in the past do not follow you. One must change and learn the idea that to support another means giving of self in a fashion that promotes the other.
Isabella… Are you talking to me?
Seth… I am talking to you because a lot of this has to do with things that you have to learn and therefore what I am doing is I am giving you direct information on errors in judgment that you have had.
Isabella… (Said something.)
Seth… I will get to it, just bear with me and I am also of course giving the lecture to anyone who happens to be within ear shot of the sound of my voice or who might read this information after our friend Frank who has volunteered to type it up from the last time he was here by saying, “Oh, Seth is going to make me type it up and I am not here.”
So, since we did not have a formal session, congratulations to you.
Frank… That’s not quite kosher but whatever.
Seth… Now, when you and we shall use this as a starting example for you, give your word to somebody that you are going to go ahead and support them in their “time of need”. Now, you can put the idea of time of need in quotation marks since that need can vary from individual to individual.
Recently you gave your word that you would support Kaetorina when she was having difficulties at home. You then went to her assistance but did not follow through. Clearly just having a meal with somebody is not supportive enough and what you must learn to do is to give of your self. In other words…
(Isabella asked a question about Stephanie.)
Seth… Whether Kaetorina believes it was a problem or not matters not to me. What matters to me is you and how you function. It has nothing to do with Kaetorina and since it has nothing to do with her it becomes something that you must learn. When you give of self, in other words in terms of, I am going to support you in your decision. I am going to assist you with housework, I am going to assist you in the preparation of making dinner, I am not going to put myself before you because when I support you in reality, I promote myself. You may underline when I assist you in reality, all the way through to the end of that sentence.
Isabella… (To Frank who asked for the last sentence.) When I assist you in reality, I promote myself.
Seth… You promote yourself by becoming a true friend. In relationship issues the idea is to communicate with yourself and the other so that you reach an understanding that is mutually satisfactory. You must understand here Isabella, that your actions did not promote you as a friend because you did not function in that capacity. Now, you may certainly look around and look at others in their relationships and see how often lacking the idea of a true friend is.
Remember this (Seth pounded finger to indicate the need for note taking) that a relationship bond is based upon the idea that I may assist you when you call on me even without being asked. How does one call upon another without being asked should be your next question. You are called upon when you sense, feel or observe… when you sense, feel or observe a lack, discomfort, annoyance, fear and or dis-ease within the other. The necessity here is that quite often verbal communication is totally unnecessary.
Now, one of the things, and I shall pause here for a second which is totally off the side is that all the bedroom doors should be closed upstairs. (This was to prevent the dogs from doing any damage.) Sorry, but I did peek in.
Now, so when your ideas of, why have I not cultivated friendships? Why do I feel that there is a difficulty in forming them falls back upon the idea that I have not given of myself in a fair and just manner. One cannot learn to live in a community where you depend upon others to consistently do for you since you then expect this treatment and the others’ resentment grows with the dis-ease that they have for you. They in simpler terms become resentful and their anger as an example in our triad personality schematic increases since the void that has been created has been fostered by you.
Frank… Say the last part again, please?
Seth… Since the void that has been created has been fostered by you.
Frank… So, there is anger?
Seth… Of course, there is anger. A clear indication of this may be seen with Isabella’s and Jasmine’s conflicting ideas concerning any number (Again Seth tapped the table with Jerry’s index finger.) of issues that they both have. All this being said must give you reason to learn to promote yourself by changing your attitude towards “working within the community.” Do you understand or what did you miss?
Isabella… No, I understand, it is very difficult to work with my mother on that aspect.
Seth… Well, while you are saying it is very difficult to work with your mother, that is what Isabella said, the difficulty here is yours not hers. If you eliminate her grievances, if one eliminates the grievances that the other has towards you by giving of self then you shift the difficulty to them and away from you. That is how you promote yourself.
Isabella… But in that case, when we are talking about doing things around the house, we have been pretty good about that. But we butt heads when it comes to other things like, her need to always know what is going on. And when I don’t talk to her about what is going on then she gets upset with me for not talking with her and then she’ll throw it in my face when I do… want…
Seth… Let us assume that you are a hundred percent correct and we are not saying that you are or not because I would not do that. But let’s assume it from a hypothetical that it should be, well if someone is upset because you are not talking to them then you… (Tapping the tableto Stephanie.) You must learn to take notes please, do not just listen. (Seth to Frank,) Make sure that you put as an aside to Kaetorina when you type this up.
Stephanie… I didn’t…
Seth… I’ve done that (Taping the table.) quite a few times.
(Stephanie mumbled something. It is interesting to note that Stephanie probably took better notes than anyone around the table. This was all to “change” with session 395 as Seth began to dictate sessions to Stephanie who learned to type fast enough to keep up. With Seth slowing his delivery the rest of us around the table were expected to write out sessions in order to better absorb them. F.N.)
Seth… If you understand the idea and in our hypothetical example and if you are correct in the hypothetical example, you will notice that if you choose not to say anything you can then say, “I really do not have the ability to discuss this with you now or I am not comfortable with this discussion.” Now when you do this with anger as you often do the triad becomes very large and the anger and the depth of it on both sides increases but and the key word there is but, if you go ahead and reduce your annoyance by speaking softly, calmly and without anger you will find that the other, in this instance meaning Jasmine or in your instance (To the therapists of the group.) patients, you will find that their ability to function is made easier.
Isabella… Now I tried that yesterday when I…
Seth… But you had already set up an anger situation.
Isabella… But…
Seth… You were already bothered and annoyed.
Isabella… No, I wasn’t, I was not bothered or annoyed by her at all. It was only when we were sitting in the kitchen and then she started yelling at me about the fact that we disagreed that I wasn’t calling my therapist right away to discuss certain things.
Seth… Your comments were not wholly correct. You had left out areas of information that Jasmine needed to make an informed decision. In other words, I am putting quotes here now, “the lie” and whether you want to define it as a lie or an error, it matters not.
Isabella… I didn’t lie to her. She just… she didn’t…
Seth… That is not the issue. The issue is yours, not hers.
Isabella… I was coming to her asking for assistance and she instead couldn’t listen or couldn’t help me and so instead turned it around and said, “You should probably talk to your therapist.” And that bothered me.
Seth… You had already set up an anger situation. If someone does not understand you, does not give, write that down, does not give you what you believe you require, whose responsibility is it to correct the situation, the person who does not understand or the person who is giving the information?
Isabella… The person who is giving the information.
Seth… And when one gives information, one must give a full, honest and fair statement. If you leave out one portion of that statement (Then said with emphasis) if you leave out one portion of that statement, underline that, then you have set up, I don’t mean you necessarily Isabella, this is a generalized thing, you have set up a situation where somebody is going to feel hurt, bothered and have dis-ease. And the dis-ease works in two directions; first, and we will use you again as the hypothetical, towards you and the other one towards Jasmine. (In a more conversational tone.) Now you know why I used it as a hypothetical.
Isabella… I just feel that with the problems with my mother, that it’s all my fault; that it is all coming down on me. And when we discuss it, it seems to always be my fault.
Seth… Because you have not reported in many instances (Emphasized.) in many instances fairly. When an individual does not report fairly.
Isabella… I don’t think I am the only one to blame for the problems with my mother.
Seth… You’re looking at blame here. This has nothing to do with blame, nothing! Nor if you were in a therapy…
Isabella… But she is the parent.
Seth… Excuse me, you are an adult. You are not seven years old.
Isabella… I’m not disagreeing with you but in reality…
Frank… But the point is, do you want to know how to promote yourself in the best manner possible or not? That’s what this is about.
Seth… This is a change for you or anyone in a therapeutic situation. The idea here is to change how you are relating to another.
Isabella… Why do I have such difficulties relating to her?
Seth… Because the anger that you set up causes conflict. Let me give you a story, I am going to tell you a story and I would like you all to write this story down and this story has been told in many ways and many fashions.
In a small village there is a farmer who has a very handsome son. He the farmer had to take money from this older very unattractive woman to help support his family in times of difficulty. He is then faced with the prospect of losing his farm since he cannot pay off his debt. It is obvious that they will starve for they have no other place to go. Knowing this, this very unattractive landlady demands payment. The farmer says, “I cannot pay you. I do not have the money. The crops were not that good this year.”
And so, the landlady states, “I will marry your son and in doing so your debt may be paid off.”
The farmer is of course unwilling to promise his son to this unattractive woman. The son with the farmer goes to the landlady and states, “There is no possibility that I would marry you.”
And of course, the landlady says, “I will make a simple deal with you. We will go down to the riverbed, and I will get a black rock and I will put it in a bag. I will then get a white rock of equal size, shape and weight and put that in the bag. And what I want you to do is simply this: If you pick the white rock, you do not have to marry me, and the debt will be paid off. If you pick the black rock, you have to marry me, and your debt will also be paid off or you can move off your land now.”
The son thinks it over and realizes that he must choose in the manner described. So, they go down to the river. And the landlady picks up two rocks and quickly puts them in the bag. This handsome young man noticed that the landlady placed two black rocks in the bag. She then handed him the bag and said, “Choose one of the two rocks.”
And the handsome young man took the bag, put his hand and started to pull out a stone, tripped and fell and the stone went flying into the river.
The landlady is very upset and says, “You ruined the contest.”
And the young man said, “I did no such thing for whatever rock is left is the rock I did not choose.”
And the object of that story is simply this: To make change one must have the ability to perceive a different outcome than the obvious one. You must learn to be adaptable; you must learn to be flexible. You cannot always have things the way you believe they should be. And that Isabella, is the key for you to start; that is the key for you to start relearning how to live within a community. Now, this is not just for you, this is for example the idea that our friend Frank may use with his children for neither one of them of the three learned to live well within a community. One is jealous of the older, and one resents the younger and their personalities clash routinely.
Isabella… I’m just a little surprised because you told me the other night in our private session that I had been making remarkable progress.
Seth… And who said I do not agree with my statement?
Isabella… Ah…
Seth… Are you aware that there are difficulties?
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… That is a remarkable achievement in and of itself.
Isabella… So basically, there has been no progress made at all.
Seth… If I said to you, you’ve made remarkable progress, why do you think I am lying to you?
Isabella… Well, you are still telling me that I need to relearn.
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question. When you drive a car today are you better than when you were seventeen?
Isabella… Obviously.
Seth… Did you learn anything then and now?
Isabella… Yeah, of course.
Seth… Did you make remarkable progress?
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Yet you could still drive at seventeen, but your abilities changed and that is the same with this story and my comment to you earlier. You have made remarkable progress. That does not mean you are done.
Isabella… I didn’t…
Seth… That does not mean you do not have a good deal to learn. Learning comes in stages. Learning comes when you add one more ability to those you already have. Let me ask you a simple question, when are you truly finished with learning?
Isabella… Never.
Seth… That’s not true.
Isabella… Or when you reconnect with the All There Is.
Seth… Correct, therefore am I learning?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And since I will state that I am, clearly. My question to you is why do you believe you are not?
Isabella… It’s not that I believe that I am not, I just feel like I am stuck in a rut and can’t make progress. And so, in that case I feel like that means I am going to be stuck living here in my parent’s house and not finding a true good relationship for a long time.
Seth… That is your choice. I give you the ability (Tapped on the table) I give you the ability to change by giving you information that you may choose to use or not. For example, where on the refrigerator is your list of things you have done around the house?
Isabella… On there.
Seth… And how often do you write on it?
Isabella… (Mumbled.)
Seth… A couple of days? Longer than that.
Isabella… A week or two.
Seth… Do you remember the private session I gave you when I told you to write down the problem?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… How many have you written down?
Isabella… None, but I have used the strategy in my head.
Seth… That is worthless and we have gone over the reasons why. How much of the Nature of Personality have you read?
Isabella… The first chapter.
Seth… Not enough, you have to work at this.
Isabella… You told me I have six months.
Seth… I’m not questioning that but if you read a page a day or two pages a day it will keep it fresh within you. The object is to keep in the forefront that which you need to do. The same is true of course for Jasmine who isn’t reading. That is the issue. It is not a question of that you have made progress haven’t made progress. The issue is, are you consistently making progress? And that of course leads us to a resounding, “No.” So, do you have the ability as the young man did to change because the situation changed? To think of a different solution to the same problem. That is the key to all who require change. Do you understand? So, this is not a criticism of anyone. This is giving individuals the ability to function at a different level, to make themselves complete. Do you understand?
Isabella… I guess.
Seth… If you guess it means you do not know.
Isabella… Ah…
Seth… You are not listening, and you are deciding to withdraw.
Isabella… I’m listening I’m… (Low talking.)
Seth… I understand you are hearing it, but you are not listening to it and therefore…
Isabella… I just feel like it is the same criticism over and over, I know you said it is not criticism, but it feels like a criticism. It is the same thing over and over again about the fact I’m obviously doing something wrong.
Seth… Why do you believe you have to do everything correct?
Isabella… I don’t but when, I do feel like I am trying and…
Seth… Did I say you weren’t trying? Did I say you were making remarkable progress? Please tell me what you didn’t understand about that?
Isabella… No, I understand what you are saying, but you are still saying that…
Seth… I am saying you have more to do. That is all I am saying to you or not do for that matter but that of course is your choice. You make excuses for not, try to make excuses for. That is the idea, individuals make attempts not to do something instead of making an attempt to accomplish something. How many of our therapeutic patients make excuses for not instead of making excuses for? That is the difference between an individual who promotes change and an individual who is fearful of change.
I believe that at this point we shall take a break.
(9:17 P.M.)
Seth… Are there any questions?
Isabella… I guess I just simply want to ask…
Seth… You simply just want to ask?
Isabella… I feel I need a focus. It is very hard for me to ingest so much information and then be able to tackle so many things at once.
Seth… Let’s give you a focus.
Isabella… So, I want to focus on one thing that I can work on for this week. That’s how I need to operate. I can’t digest all the information and try to work on everything all at once.
Seth… What did you get out of my lecture this evening?
Isabella… I think what stood out for me…
Seth… Look at me, do not look there.
Isabella… I think what stood out for me the most is the idea of promoting myself by giving.
Seth… That is your focus for this week.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You just stated it. Do you remember when I told you about finding a problem and writing it down and then following through? (Reader take note, this is a very powerful technique to try! F.N.)
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… All individuals who have difficulty with change, that’s what you are really dealing with. They’re changing if you want to look at the broadest sense somebody who is not overwhelmingly happy to a woman who would like to become very happy.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… That’s just an overwhelmingly idea. Our friend Frank has to idealize the idea of working with compassion.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… He has to learn how to do this and that’s a change from what he wants to do from what he is. Kaetorina has to work with the idea of learning how to handle energies to promote herself and her psychic ability. All these type of things are a large focus, it’s what you within the little small focus that allows you to grow and promote yourself. So, what you are going to do this week is you are going to learn why do you think the lesson of writing things down on the board? For example, tomorrow evening you may say don’t make dinner, I am going to make salad, the main course and the dessert. I don’t want you to do anything.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… The next day you may simply say I am going to do the clean up today, don’t do anything. The more you give of yourself the greater rewards you will get, and you will not believe how great the rewards will be.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… So that’s your focus for this week.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Does that help you?
Isabella… Yep, very much so because I feel overwhelmed. That’s my problem.
Seth… Why do you, first of all…
Isabella… I feel so overwhelmed that feel like I do not know where to start. That’s my biggest problem.
Seth… Now you have a sense of direction and where you may start. In other words, the journey of a thousand miles begins as has always been said with the first step. But the journey is never complete until you as the individual make the commitment to have the change always in place. Do you understand the difference?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… And that is where therapists fail. It is not the idea of making the change and you have to start, and I’ll promote. It is the commitment to the end that’s relevant, not the commitment to just do something because you can do something and forget about it. And that’s the difficulty. Does this make more sense to you now? So, what I would suggest what you do is that anytime you have a difficulty you write it down, define the difficulty, find the goal that you need to do and then embark upon that idea and make the commitment that you want to see the end of the journey. Does that make more sense to you now? Are there any other questions?
George… I just want to ask from your side of things if there is anything else that I can do to be of assistance towards my father, right now with all that is going on?
Seth… What I would do if I were you… how often do you speak to him?
George… A couple times a week.
Seth… Not enough.
George… Okay.
Seth… If you are going to support someone who is in trouble, the object is to be there. That may make it necessary for you as an individual and not necessarily just in this instance but in general, if you are going to support someone you are there. Since it would be difficult for you to be physically there, as difficult as this is for you, you must be verbally there. You must make the commitment to be there, even if it is just small talk. It is the closeness that you will give that will give its rewards. Do you understand?
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I want to ask about a patient and her mother, I spoke to Jerry about it and I am just wondering whether a…
Seth… You did not speak to him about it, go ahead.
Stephanie… Oh, I already spoke to you. Okay, well do you have anything else to add? (Frank laughs.) Well okay, here is my dilemma though that I didn’t…
Seth… To quote Shirley Sarah, “Not that smart.”
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Right, now for me my dilemma with M is, if obviously I am meeting with the mother and advocating this position, she must be strong, she must stand steady, all this stuff, isn’t M going to see me as not being loyal to her because she is going to know…
Seth… What is your purpose in the relationship with the young lady?
Stephanie… I want her to learn how to become an independent, strong…
Seth… Within the community.
Stephanie… Okay, right, to live appropriately…
Seth… And function within a community.
Stephanie… Okay, but all these things that are going to come down on her, she makes up these stories.
Seth… Because she does not choose to live fairly with all. This lecture can be applied to her. This lecture can be applied to her mother.
Stephanie… Right, now, I don’t know what this girl is capable of in terms of upping the ante. What would my position be in that? I mean I don’t know.
Seth… What are the consequences for the actions that you have done?
Let me ask you and you can certainly ask her, why don’t you go and rob a bank? Why don’t you go and rob a bank if you need money?
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… And what would your answer be?
Stephanie… Because I would go to jail.
Seth… You would go to jail; there are consequences, very negative consequences for certain actions. If you quote here, “disobey the law,” other people might say break the law, then you have difficulty. The student who does not study but complains how hard the examination was is robbing themselves. The same thing is true with your patient; your patient is robbing herself of the ability to live within a community instead of demanding that the community does something for her. When you demand something that is always done for you, you are shunned; you become an ineffective member of that community and are pushed to the wayside.
Stephanie… How would she understand that though, how would I…
Seth… Would your husband tolerate this if you did this to him?
Stephanie… I’m going to talk to her about a potential husband?
Seth… Yes, absolutely. (Someone said, “Or boyfriend.”) Or boyfriend.
Stephanie… Okay.
Isabella… Or friends.
Seth… Or friends.
Isabella… I know she doesn’t have any friends.
Seth… Or friends. It matters not, I want it to be a long-term lasting relationship here. That is the reason for “husband” that was given. In other words, a friend may come and go, they may move away, you may change schools. But a husband is something that you want to last a lifetime. Would anybody tolerate always doing for you? Would anybody tolerate always doing for you when you do not do for them? I think that is the question that you have to ask.
Stephanie… Em hm.
Seth… And if you “break the law,” do you not deserve to be punished? And that goes back to our why don’t you rob a bank question.
Stephanie… Now she is going to say, my mother made me do it.
Seth… Nobody makes you do anything; you choose to do it because you want something else.
Stephanie… Right, she is going to say my mother doesn’t get off my back, my mother makes me do this, my mother is unfair. You know she makes up all and twists it.
Seth… Let us bring your mother in, I want to hear you confront your mother.
Stephanie… Yeah, which is why I said, “I need to see both of you.”
Seth… Let us do it that way.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… You’re saying, this, this, this, let us confront it, let’s see what you say.
Stephanie… Yeah, because it doesn’t seem like I can get a grip and grasp when I am seeing them individually it is one against the other.
Seth… Of course, because the other one isn’t there to defend themselves.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… And remember, you may get a surprise one way or the other, you may not.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… But remember, if you rob a bank, you don’t get a second chance and say, “Oh, I was sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” There are consequences for your actions.
Stephanie… Now what should her punishment be, for example, all this mouthing off and abusiveness to the mother. You know, besides, “Oh you are not going to go out.” Then she is going to defy that, she walks out, she’ll do whatever she wants.
Seth… There are numerous ideas that the mother will have of what a proper disciplinary action she should take.
Stephanie… So, the mother will have her own thinking about…
Seth… The mother will have her own agenda.
Stephanie… Execute it though.
Seth… Correct. Well, that’s a different story, whether she follows through or not is the mother’s problem. If the mother does not solve her problem doing what she is supposed to do, then who loses? The mother and then you can’t complain about how bad your daughter is.
Stephanie… Now how do I work with the mother about the fear because this is why the mother wavers and can’t follow through, completely fearful that the daughter is going to hate her guts forever and she will…
Seth… That is not your concern.
Stephanie… But she is not following through because of her fears.
Seth… Because the fears themselves are groundless. If you break the law should the policeman worry that you are not going to like them?
Stephanie… I would say this to the mother?
Seth… Of course. (Long pause.) That is the least of the concerns.
Stephanie… Right, but that is I am assuming on of the biggest reasons why she is not.
Seth… There is fear, it is fear that there will be an argument, fear that the child will not like me and what she is doing is reversing roles where the parents become the child and the child becomes the parent. One must assert what they are.
Stephanie… And in truth isn’t the child really screaming out for discipline?
Seth… The child is screaming out for guidelines.
Stephanie… Guidelines; em hmm.
Seth… I have had more than enough children I know the answer. (Said in a lower tone, a humorous aside.)
Stephanie… And is she fearful that she’ll become Russel? This Melissa? (An older child.) That she would be…
Seth… You must ask that question. You must ask that question. But it matters not, if a child is going to go and break the rules and require discipline, it doesn’t matter what they will become, might become, should become; it is the consequence of their actions that determines the parental responsibility. When Peter has a tantrum, when Natalie disobeys what happens to them?
Stephanie… They get into trouble…
Seth… And there are consequences for those actions.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you ever think I want to make my child a friend of mine or am I gong to be the parent?
Stephanie… No, I am going to be the parent.
Seth… Well then that is the rule for parents.
Stephanie… Right, exactly.
Seth… You can be loving; you can be kind and yes, if you know a child did something and you say, I want you to tell me the truth. Did you do this?” And the child does not lie and tells the truth then you may reduce the punishment. But you are not going to go ahead and not punish out of fear because that teaches the child that they can get away with whatever they want to.
Stephanie… Yeah, so Melissa won’t think I am abandoning her if I am supportive of these punishments.
Seth… That is not your concern. If she feels you are abandoning her your answer is simple: I am here to give you a very good life.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… I believe we have been down this road before.
Stephanie… Right, I am just thinking, what if she refuses to come back?
Isabella… She will, just be prepared for that because that’s exactly what is going to happen. I know the kid. She will absolutely refuse to come back.
Seth… And then her mother has to take her back and if she sits in your office and does nothing for seventeen visits in a row, that’s fine.
Stephanie… Em hmm. What if she refuses to go? You mean the mother would have to forceful to say, “You’re going!”
Seth… Or you’re punished again.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… See, it is the upping of the ante where the idea is, I can control that is the difficult situation here. The more she controls the less she has to do. She becomes the King or Queen and passes judgments on everyone else. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, now, is there an underlying fear of hers that she cannot handle herself so she…
Seth… No, I want it for me!
Stephanie… This is not about fear of growing up, fear of doing? She just doesn’t want to…
Seth… I want it my way. I am a selfish individual who wants it my way. And again, you start asking questions, why are you here? Well, however she answers you are going to revert to the situation, I am here to make sure that these type of problems don’t happen with your husband, with your friends and if I disagree with what you are doing I have to have the ability to tell you that I disagree with what you are doing.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… But I am not judging you I am just telling you what is going on as you are presenting the information.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I wanted to ask about Natalie and I am trying to nail down for myself what is going on in terms of her difficulties with school. You know, if in fact she has major processing issues which I know she does and that is affecting her ability to remember certain facts, math issues…
Seth… Repetition is what she needs.
Stephanie… The repetition of everything she learns over and over.
Seth… It is an ingraining of a process that will make her successful.
Stephanie… Em hmm, because it seems like she learns something, she understood tonight when I was teaching her but then tomorrow or the next day she may forget.
Seth… She doesn’t hold on to it.
Stephanie… Why isn’t she holding on to it?
Seth… Because she is not retaining it. In other words, because habit for her is very important and when she doesn’t work on habitual ways of doing something, she doesn’t grasp it. She puts it over here and then when she goes to retrieve it, she says…
Stephanie… She forgets.
Seth… “What did I put over here?” Do you understand?
Stephanie… Because she is not caring or doesn’t pay attention?
Seth… Neither. It is…
Stephanie… Neither?
Seth… That is neither. What she doesn’t have is the ability of recall. It is like having a computer that doesn’t have enough memory. So, things are shunted all over the place and when it comes time to retrieve them, it becomes very difficult.
Stephanie… So, the answer is practice?
Seth… Practice and the repetition, over and over and over and over again.
Stephanie… So, is this always going to be going on with her brain in a sense? The idea…
Seth… It might very well but when she learns to foster herself…
Isabella… She will develop coping strategies.
Seth… She will learn how to deal with what she has to learn. For example, the man through whom I speak is dyslexic by your standards, yet he routinely learns things and gave himself enough strategies that his learning difficulties were eliminated. When he was much younger, he would have difficulties when reading to remember what line he was on. When he finishes an end to a line even to this day, he will sometimes go up or back a line in his reading abilities because he doesn’t remember, and his eyes don’t focus to the next line down.
Stephanie… Natalie has that a little bit.
Seth… So, he very simple learned a solution of putting his finger on the line that he is reading on. Did you ever see his hand like this (Demonstrates.) and he moves down, down, down and he reads.
Stephanie… And sometimes it seems that Natalie has that issue. I wonder if I should have her put her finger on the line.
Seth… That she is reading.
Stephanie… Yeah, and is that a recall?
Seth… That’s a process of remembering where you are.
Stephanie… Yeah, yeah that’s not… (Unclear.)
Seth… It’s a coping strategy. Whether she is or she is not…
Betty… (Betty is on a phone so it is difficult to make out.) When working with… complicated stuff I use to teach them to open and close boxes as a way of helping them organize material? Would that be helpful?
Seth… Anything is helpful, any strategy that works for any individual whether it is opening and closing a box, whether it is index cards, whether it is anything that you can do to promote repetition is profitable.
Stephanie… Now there are so many, you know obviously things for her to learn. How is she going to be able to practice this type of repetition over?
Seth… Because it becomes natural.
Stephanie… But how would I know which to do with her? There’s so much.
Seth… It is not a question of so much, there are certain ideas that she will immediately grasp and become part of her.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… There are other ideas that she will have to repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, over and over again.
Stephanie… Like the ones, tens, hundreds, that seems to confuse her.
Isabella… That is very complicated.
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… You know the rounding are things it seems I have to keep repeating.
Seth… That is a difficult concept for most children to understand.
Stephanie… Right, so for her and the problem solving when there are word problems.
Seth… Right because she is not understanding the words (Other people talking at the same time.) in the order that they are given.
Stephanie… And also, the language she doesn’t understand.
Isabella… Of course.
Stephanie… You know, “give all the forms of matter of water.” It was just the idea of that it was stated something like that. She had no idea what that meant.
Seth… But yet, she learned it that way, but the words confused her.
Stephanie… So how is she going to take a test?
Seth… It’s very simple, by constant repetition of what is necessary for her to learn.
Isabella… Or… (Stephanie said something about a test and it being wordy.) that’s not true, she might need resource room where what they do is restate each question.
Seth… Right.
Isabella… They say it to them in different language.
Stephanie… But she does need that!
Isabella… Then that’s what she needs.
Stephanie… In terms of test taking?
Isabella… Yes!
Stephanie… How am I going to get her on to…
Isabella… On her I.U.P…
Stephanie… Right.
Isabella… she needs, as part of an I.U.P. tests taken in a separate location…
Stephanie… She does.
Isabella… and questions read.
Stephanie… Read to her…
Isabella… redirected…
Stephanie… in a plain… yeah… (Said contemplatively.) I don’t know if she can get, if they really have that.
Isabella… Well, they are going to need to test her to see what is going on.
Stephanie… Yeah, but she didn’t test well enough for resource room.
(The rest of this session was devoted to how Stephanie could follow up with her daughter’s educational needs and how she would have to advocate for her within the education system Isabella was very supportive in this regard.)
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: The ability to change, the ability to support, are linked with each other. You cannot have one[FN1] without the other when you deal with other individuals. The support you give to others will enable you to fulfill your needs and therefore your wants lessen.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here. Let us begin with a story that I would like to relate to all of you.
This young couple moved into their new home and after a few days she notices the woman taking out her laundry and hanging it up in her backyard. She also notices that the laundry itself is dingy and appears dirty. A few days later she sees the same woman hanging up a laundry again. And once again she notices that the laundry is dingy and dirty. She remarks to her husband that this woman obviously does not know how to care or to wash her clothing and this scenario goes on for a month. And each time this young woman comments to her husband on how this older woman’s laundry is still dingy, and it is clear to this young woman at this point that the other woman does not know how to do a wash and she turns to her husband and says someone must teach this woman how to do a proper wash. All this being said at this point I would like your comments or feelings on this story.
Frank… Why isn’t the woman taking action to help the other woman? If she feels that way, then she should go over and discreetly inquire or help the woman out. If she notices… and if she is allowing this and it is bothering her, and she doesn’t know the full story then she should find out and possibly give aid to the woman.
Isabella… I agree but I also feel that the woman is constantly complaining and if all you do is constantly complain and you don’t take action to change then change can’t exist.
Seth… Betty, your comments on this story.
Betty… I think the young woman is being judgmental without really knowing the situation and maybe the woman can’t afford to buy soap this month.
Seth… Possibility.
Stephanie… Ummm… I can’t really say that I, maybe along the lines with what Betty was saying. I mean, I think I should feel that I should mind my business. I don’t know how comfortable I would be, to be like your laundry is disgusting and here is how you do proper laundry. I feel like if someone asks for assistance… I feel like it is a judgment about it being dingy and I think I would probably assume that that it is not necessarily how she wants it, but maybe the woman is used to it, and it is okay for her. Because if it wasn’t, I’m assuming she would seek some kind of alternative, she would say my wash is always coming out dingy and disgusting, and to look up or to talk to somebody about how to get my clothes whiter. So, I would think it odd that this other woman was completely alone on an island and didn’t have other information so I would probably just leave it alone.
Jasmine… I see another aspect possibly to the story. It’s everything depends on one’s perception and to the younger woman it appeared dirty, but to the older woman it may have appeared clean. It’s a completely different perception of the same situation. It goes back to not being judgmental and things like that.
Seth… It is interesting here to note that for all of you a great many of my lectures have not truly penetrated. Let us go back to our story. A few days later our young woman notices that the older woman’s laundry is sparkling clean and bright as she hangs it outside to dry. Her husband happens to be passing by and she says to him someone must have finally told this woman how to do laundry. The husband looks at her and says, “I don’t think that is the case. I just want you to know that earlier today I got up early and cleaned the windows of the house.” (Laughter.) The story proves two things. That a great many of you need to read and re-read and to understand some of my previous lectures but more importantly so under our idea and aspects of Change is it not more profitable that one gathers information correctly and before anyone sits down to judge or to criticize another it is necessary if not mandatory that you first examine your perspective before criticizing another.
Unfortunately, each of you has a tendency to view situations from your own inadequate perspective. Change is not possible when you do not allow your own perspective to be cast aside. When one is dogmatically convinced that you are correct the window that you see through is obviously cloudy. Individuals tend to function where they seem most comfortable. Examples here abound; an individual who is divorced and does not change their perspective will usually re-marry the same sort of individual. (Some laughter.)
Isabella… Wait, can you explain that a little further, an individual who is divorced and does not change their perspective will usually marry the same individual?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Why?
Seth… Because they are used to it.
Isabella… Why would anyone want to do that?
Seth… Because it is routinely done because they do not allow for themselves to change.
Isabella… I would never want to marry somebody like David again.
Frank… Do you think it is a completely conscious process?
Jasmine… It’s not conscious. Whatever drove you to him the first time you are unaware of.
Seth… The question still falls back Isabella, how do you define yourself? By what means? And you are still to this point of reference defining yourself in that way. Now, individuals who look for job positions without gathering proper information, without expanding their knowledge in their own field, are often placed in positions and in situations that they have previously detested.
When you look through the window of life how clear is the glass? That is a question that very few ask since it is then necessary to examine yourself. Most individuals operate from the standpoint of either I want it, or I deserve it. Both lines of thought are often disastrous. They are so because the wanting situation or the demanding situation narrows the vision that the ego has. The viewpoint becomes difficult at best. These type of individuals have great difficulty in accepting others, especially when the other is attempting to or has made positive changes. These individuals set roadblocks for their “significant others” in order to keep the status quo.
Stephanie… I have a question. Just to clarify it, do you mean that; let’s just use Bill as an example. (Giggled.)
Seth… Good example. (Laughter.)
Frank… It just happened to.
Stephanie… If he was making positive changes, are you saying that I would choose to look through the dirty glass to not see them because that is a change?
Seth… That would not be suitable for you. In other words, if you husband for example was attempting to do something positive…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… your vision because you are not comfortable in this instance…
Stephanie… Not used to it.
Seth… is narrowed. So, the window you are looking through is murky. So, the positive changes are not adaptable easily to your situation.
Stephanie… So, do I not see them or accept them?
Seth… Both
Stephanie… Okay. So why would I see some and not others?
Seth… Some became so glaring obvious you cannot help it.
Stephanie… Like if when he brought me flowers because I had a bad day.
Seth… Correct. Yet the feeling there is that I know he is going to fall back on his old ways.
Stephanie… Like, I don’t trust the positive.
Seth… And let’s even assume that he does fall back upon his old ways. So?
Stephanie… Right, it is knowing that it is not exactly the way it was though.
Seth… Correct. It is the looking through the window without having somebody clean it.
Stephanie… Right, it is the idea of accepting that it is okay to not be perfect or the way I want him to be.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… And that is the accepting part.
Seth… Correct, you cannot change because you choose not to. The individual who runs to grasp a situation because that is how they are, defeats the purpose of change since they do not allow for it.
Stephanie… You mean the person who seeks to control the situation to how they want it?
Seth… To control it, to make it their own, to disallow anything that they do not perceive. If you define yourself as having a husband who is uncaring at times, who is very self-centered when they do something that is not self-centered it is very difficult for you as an individual to see or allow that since that would mean that your perceptions have been faulty.
Stephanie… That my perceptions of the past?
Seth… No, of them; the person who is making the change has been faulty because the believe system is, they cannot change.
Stephanie… They cannot change, okay so…
Seth… Yes?
Isabella… Well because I was just thinking about even with my mother, the idea of looking at changes that she is making is very hard for me to believe that she could ever possibly change and so…
Seth… Therefore, you will notice what you want to believe. She may make three hundred changes and do one thing that is characteristically typical of her old ways. What will you notice?
Isabella… The one thing.
Seth… And discard all the others.
Isabella… Which is what I think she does with me also though.
Seth… We are not talking about someone else. We are talking about you. How does Isabella define herself? What makes her in her opinion…
Isabella… It’s the one…
Seth… What makes her in her opinion have self worth? That is the defining idea. If you define yourself with a narrow viewpoint…
Isabella… Such as?
Seth… Any one doesn’t matter what it is.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… When you define yourself with a narrow viewpoint you are narrow, and you will routinely do things in your comfort zone.
Isabella… So, for example, when I was talking to Stephanie today about the idea that I feel that I am almost more comfortable not being in a relationship now because when I see myself in a relationship, I see the person that I don’t like.
Seth… Give us a moment. (Long pause.) Now, the object here is defined by you not liking you. You set up situations that have followed you through every single boyfriend, your ex-husband, relationships that you are in now, out of now and looking to go into again, where you set up and I am going to use the word examinations. You use examinations to test you. You believe erroneously so that you are testing them. But you are testing you. You are testing you because you do not like you and your defining characteristics are false. You define yourself as needy. You do not define yourself as independent. You define yourself as lacking without a male figure, so you run to male figures good, bad, or indifferent, it matters not, but you define yourself by that. Many of your quotes here “girlfriends” are just as needy in their own ways as you are. Because this characteristic is a carry over. Therefore, when you define yourself in a narrow set of circumstances your window is cloudy.
Isabella… So, by my telling myself that I am needy…
Seth… You are.
Isabella… I am. So, if I were to tell myself I am independent…
Seth… You do not have to tell yourself anything. You have to be independent. You do not need anyone, including myself, to define you. You do not need anyone to characterize you in any way including myself because the only one that matters is you. And when you become upset and cry now and before you are defining yourself as needy. You define yourself by the examinations that you set out to deal with Jasmine, boyfriends, ex-husband and then you look through very dirty windows to find their errors. That is the story of what goes on. Now most individuals who would either see this lecture, read this lecture, hear this lecture, will understand that this is applicable to most. You are not alone in this situation. Now, go ahead.
Isabella… I see exactly what I am doing. I know I am testing.
Seth… And what are you testing for?
Isabella… I’m testing for reassurance.
Seth… No. That is… remember The Triad Personality.
Isabella… Yes. Am I testing for love?
Seth… Yes. And your expectations are here when they should be here. (Seth motioning with hands high then low.) But the reason you hate and then failing the test is because your expectations of what you want are here, when they should be here. And therefore, The Triad Personality is the test that you set up and you’re angry that they do not meet your expectations. Do you understand this?
Isabella… Yes. So, my expectations are what kind of Stephanie said to me today are basically almost unrealistic.
Seth… Your expectations are unrealistic because you set them up. This has nothing to do with anyone else. This is what has to do with you. And I don’t mean you sitting across the table. I mean the proverbial you of anyone who would listen to this lecture. You are just the fall guy who happens to be having the brunt of it.
Isabella… What I am trying to understand is; I am just going to use Joe as an example because that is what is happening now or my mother even for that matter
Seth… Or just say Frank it is just as good.
Isabella… I was on the phone with him today and set up an examination to see if he would say something that would make me feel loved.
Seth… And of course, he did…
Isabella… No, he did.
Seth… What useful purpose was that? What was it worth?
Isabella… It was nothing because it’s not like it really made me feel any better.
Seth… How could it make you feel better, when he fell short?
Isabella… But how? He didn’t really fall short.
Seth… Sure, he did.
Isabella… Okay, how did he fall short?
Seth… Because your expectations were here; the examination only went to here, less than that. You want him to go further than that.
Isabella… Which is unrealistic.
Seth… No, it is a self-loathing.
Isabella… See that is where I think I am a little foggy.
Seth… Very simply put. When you do not like yourself, you set up these examinations, where everyone must fail, including you. Because the examination you already know is not going to make you happy.
Isabella… Such as him saying, I am so looking forward to you coming up this weekend.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Okay, I am expecting him to say that…
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… I am expecting him to say, please call me later tonight when session is over.
Seth… Or how about something as simple as this: You know you are making my week so happy because you are coming up, I can’t believe it is only Tuesday, I wish it were Friday and you were here.
Isabella… Right, okay.
Seth… That would have been more. That is more of what you wanted.
Isabella… Correct.
Seth… And since you didn’t get it you failed. You hated yourself for setting up the examination.
Isabella… Absolutely.
Seth… Self-loathing.
Isabella… So, what do you do?
Seth… It’s very simple. Why have the test? Why set up something…
Isabella… Now can this be…I feel like this is so part of who I am…
Seth… Of course, it is.
Isabella… So, it’s almost like…
Seth… Excuse me, Mother?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Less so with the man through whom I speak because he rarely falls into the habitual nature of this because from his personality he really doesn’t care. Not that he doesn’t care about you; he doesn’t care about the examination. Every boyfriend, ex-husband, every single boyfriend, not one have you not done this with.
Isabella… No, I know.
Seth… Girlfriends, workers, bosses, so this is a defining characteristic of self-loathing by you.
Isabella… So, this idea…
Seth… Excuse me, I am not finished yet. (Some laughter.) Let me ask you a very simple question. You are going to, and I hate to use this idea, a therapist. How much work have you done with this? The answer is none. Because you report this as what happens. But what you don’t do is say, I don’t like myself. I do not like myself because I do this from the time, I was a child on. That’s where therapists fail. They have no concept of what you mean. When you report a situation, what your quotes here unquotes “looking for” is for them to sooth the hurt. I on the other hand, believe in hurting you. Do you understand the difference?
Isabella… Because that is how you learn.
Seth… No, not because that’s how you lear, because I am allowing you to fail. So, when is the last time you have gone to your quotes here “therapist” and say I detest myself because I do this. I loath myself, but I continue to do this.
Isabella… I have said that I don’t like, I have definitely said I don’t like that I do this.
Seth… And what is the answer?
Isabella… That she gives me?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Well, she’ll ask me, how do you know that you feel that way about yourself?
Seth… Worthless answer. That is why…
Isabella… But I have had to say, okay, so what do I do to fix it?
Seth… You are looking for an answer to fix it; and not an answer for you.
Isabella… I am looking for a way that she can help me to fix… to get better, to not do these habitual behaviors; this idea of acting needy within the relationship. Because I said to her this week, I feel better when I am not in a relationship. I feel stronger, I feel more independent, I feel more aware…
Seth… Your window is so cloudy and so dirty that what you said doesn’t make sense to her since her window is not clear enough for you.
Isabella… But I guess what I am asking you is the idea of I feel so much better about myself when I am not in a relationship.
Seth… Why? How do you define relationships? When you redefine them, when you change them, you can’t wait to be in a relationship. It will grab you and shake your core so that every bit of love that you have will just explode.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And when that explosion happens the word happiness will come out of you, and you will understand that you have finally washed your windows. And you wash your window by doing the work and redefining yourself. Why do you think I have stated to you clearly that it is far more important for you as an individual, just as Jasmine should have been here to listen to this, which has nothing to do with you, but everything to with her because I could have directed the session in that way just as well as this way. Now, so the idea here is that when you redefine yourself by going ahead and understanding that I asked you to live in a community. We saw that without your learning to live in a community properly you cannot succeed. You cannot succeed because you do not report to yourself. Let me ask you another question, a little housekeeping, how many things are on your list that so far have occurred from last Friday until now? None. Does that tell you something? It is an old way of doing things. Therefore, you have not redefined yourself.
Isabella… So, in the terms of in a relationship because I feel, let’s just say I’m just throwing Joe…
Seth… One second, I am going to let the man through whom I speak come in, I’m going to allow him to change the tape and then I shall return. So, take a small sip of your coffee, okay, blow your nose if you have to and we shall return.
Jerry… Move to end of tape 9:20.
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… I guess my big thing is I feel like I am aware of what I am doing, which is for the first time I can actually say that I’m…
Seth… So, your window is starting to be washed. Awareness is the first step. Go ahead. I told you to blow your nose, you didn’t want to.
Isabella… So, I am very aware (Crying.) that I do that, and I can see it because this is the first time that I haven’t really been in a seriously relationship for so long. So, it’s easy to see through…
Seth… But isn’t it factual that you would like to get back into a serious relationship?
Isabella… Eventually, I like being in relationships.
Seth… I understand that, go ahead.
Isabella… Eventually yes, I’d like to be in a relationship, I’m not, yes, I’d like to be in a relationship.
Seth… Move along, go ahead.
Isabella… So, but for the first time, I can really say and admit and understand how I need everyone in my life to be reassuring that I’m lovable. So, my question is…
Seth… Why do you have to be lovable?
Isabella… Because that is how I feel accepted.
Seth… Why do you have to be accepted if you’re loveable?
Isabella… I guess lovable is not the right word but I guess…
Seth… No, lovable is the right word for you.
Isabella… Okay. I just feel that within growing up and within the family unit that I really was the one that wasn’t loved and accepted.
Seth… Whose definition is that? Yours? Jasmine’s? The man through whom I speak? Your brother’s?
Isabella… Probably my mother’s? No, it’s mine.
Seth… It is yours.
Isabella… I have felt that I wasn’t loved.
Seth… And what proof do you have of that?
Isabella… I actually do have a lot of proof of that.
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… My grandmother purposely…
Seth… Grandmother is not one that you mentioned, she’s out. Doesn’t count.
Isabella… She is part of my family unit.
Seth… Yes, she is but she had very little to do with you. Move along. It doesn’t matter.
Isabella… But that’s who I have felt the least loved by.
Seth… But again.
Isabella… I am talking about my extended family, not my immediate family.
Seth… The only ones that matter when a child is growing up are the interpersonal relationships within a close-knit family, not extended.
Isabella… Well then, I guess it would have to be in relationship with my mother.
Seth… And would you say she didn’t love you, or she did things you didn’t want her to do?
Isabella… I didn’t feel that she didn’t love me, I just feel…
Seth… Stop. That was the first error. Notice you defined yourself as not being loved.
Isabella… No. I said I know she loved me. That wasn’t the issue…
Seth… But you previously had stated you defined yourself…
Isabella… As not being lovable?
Seth… Right
Isabella… I meant with my extended family. That’s really what I was talking about.
Seth… Okay, so who else in your extended family other than your grandmother who didn’t love your mother?
Isabella… Didn’t love my mother?
Seth… No, of course not.
Isabella… Oh, she doesn’t love my mother.
Seth… No, she never did.
Isabella… Right, so then why would she love me?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Okay. Alrighty, moving right along
Seth… By the way, thank you for volunteering.
Isabella… To what? No, no.
Seth… Absolutely.
Isabella… Nooa… (Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Congratulations.
Isabella… How much time do I have?
Seth… How much do you want?
Isabella… Months, this is a long one, we’ve all been talking forever.
Seth… This is a great lecture for you to type, I shall give you one month.
Isabella… Oh, Jesus.
Seth… Are you complaining? Do I hear a complaint?
Isabella… Not at all. (Stephanie giggles and Isabella joins in.) Okay.
Seth… (Said softly) Some people are smarter than others. (Isabella asked, “Her?” Referring to Stephanie.) Very foolish. (Stephanie laughs.)
Isabella… Were you complaining about typing?
Stephanie… No, a book.
Isabella… Book, oh. So how do you go about in my situation…
Seth… It’s not you.
Isabella… Everybody…
Seth… This has nothing to do with Isabella.
Isabella… So how do you go about redefining who you are and loving yourself and not needing other people to reassure you that they love you or appreciate you, whatever?
Seth… It’s very, very simple, believe it or not.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… It is one of the easiest things to do. Do you have good qualities? List ten of them, part of your homework for next week. List ten of your good qualities. Now, once you have listed ten of your good qualities and you like them or love them you will find very clearly that your worrisome nature, since they are already there, you’ve already listed these things help define who and what you are. So, in defining who and what you are, do you need anyone else to prove it to you? Do you?
Isabella… Yes, I guess at this point.
Seth… No! You need no one to prove it to you.
Isabella… No, I know the answer is no but I’m saying that at this point, I guess…
Seth… I’m not asking what you think it is. I’m asking in reality.
Isabella… No, I do not need anyone to prove it to me.
Seth… You need no one to prove it to you ever!!! And you can underline the word in this typing session ever, exclamation point. And that is factual.
Isabella… I think one of things that I have been trying to focus on is the idea of my intellect and that I am finding and appreciating the fact that I feel I am very intelligent.
Seth… Do you need anyone else to tell you that?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Then that’s one of the things that you can put down.
Isabella… But then there are so many other aspects.
Seth… Is there anyone here who is in this room at this point, perfect?
Isabella… No
Seth… Well, there is, but not me, by far. By far not me; The All That Is. Other than that, there is nothing in this universe on higher planes that is perfect. And you must allow for that in your judgment of self, which you do not do.
Isabella… No, I do not allow for that at all…
Seth… When you allow for that…
Isabella… I’m my harshest critic.
Seth… Correct and when you allow that you will find you are far better off.
Isabella… So, is it also the idea of practice?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Like in the idea, I am just going to use Joe, again but in the relationship pseudo whatever it is with him when I feel like I am testing or whatever, if I can stop myself before it happens and then eventually learn…
Seth… All you have to do is when a test is set up verbally as it is in most instances with you and you are going to ask him to say something, you should immediately stop, and say, excuse me, I already know the answer, it is truly totally unimportant, excuse me for even asking. I apologize.
Isabella… And now will that eventually become part of who I am?
Seth… Of course. Do you want to apologize to him forty times a week?
Isabella… No but I want to…
Seth… Do you want to apologize forty times a week to people for setting up examinations?
Isabella… I don’t even want to ask.
Seth… But that’s what the lesson here is: Learning not… to… ask! (Seth paused between words for effect.)
Isabella… So basically, it’s the idea of retraining my brain to think a different way.
Seth… Of course. Congratulations you have now passed an exam.
We shall at this point take a short break.
Seth… Let us continue, are you satisfied Isabella?
Isabella… Unless there is anything else that you.
Seth… You must work at this. This is not something that you are going to do without diligence and work and the reason you want to type this session is because it will reinforce the idea of what is your window like? What are you really seeing? And what in a triad personality are you really setting up? Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes
Seth… Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Isabella knows what she has to do to like self, and not set up failures. What would other people’s tasks look like? I am thinking about a patient. This guy, is he setting it up to reject his girlfriend, because he hates himself?
Seth… (Using the triad.) In any relationship between two individuals and what you are describing is a perfect love hate scenario. Followed by the apex which is anger moving in both directions. depression and anger at another. So, when you are setting yourself up to get rid of someone else you purposely push your expectations way out. That no one could live up to them.
Stephanie… Right, which I know he is doing to her.
Seth… And therefore, you hate her, in reality self, because you don’t get things.
Stephanie… But what am I helping him to do? How am I helping him to like himself?
Seth… You are helping him to set realistic expectations of not only with what he wants with himself, but what he wants from another, realistic, not unsensible. Which has nothing to do with your patient, but it certainly has everything to do with you.
Isabella… That’s exactly what I think I do, do.
Seth… I agree.
Isabella… I set up completely unrealistic expectations of another including friendships, bosses, everybody. Completely unrealistic expectations, almost as though I feel I should be the center of their universe.
Seth… Triad.
Isabella… That the expectations are so great…
Seth… That no one could live up to.
Isabella… So, no one could possibly ever live up to, so then I could set myself up to be hurt.
Seth… Don’t parents do this too with their children?
Isabella… Yes. So, it is important to set up realistic expectations.
Seth… Realistic and you can underline the word realistic
Stephanie… So now how does one determine what is realistic for themselves?
Seth… One determines what is realistic for themselves by understanding what are you capable of doing or giving, which may be far greater or far less than what someone else is capable of doing or giving.
Stephanie… So, your realistic expectations of others would be based on what you yourself are capable of giving or doing?
Seth… Correct. And then you modify that to accommodate the other. In other words, there are individuals who are in love with giving. They give to an extent which at times hurts them. So, their expectations of themselves are massive. Yet, when you ask them, do you expect someone else to do this, the answer is of course I do. My answer to them is why? That’s a realistic expectation.
Stephanie… Now if this guy though or if an individual…
Seth… No, you must hold it this way so you can have somebody listen to it. (Referring to the microphone.)
Stephanie… Oh. (Laughs.) If one has a blown ego where they’re over the top…
Seth… Then their expectations are massive, and no one lives up to them and therefore you find fault routinely with the others.
Stephanie… Okay, this would be more this guy, my patient. That would be the narcissist for example, so that nobody will ever meet your expectations.
Seth… Nobody could.
Stephanie… And they themselves never meet.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… And that’s why they always fail because it is too lofty.
Seth… Correct. No one is good enough for. Are there any other questions?
Isabella… I feel like I feel the opposite of that that I am never good enough for.
Seth… What’s the difference? It is the opposite end of the spectrum.
Isabella… It’s like I can almost see the girlfriend’s perspective of that’s where I feel like I choose…
Seth… You believe you are not worth it.
Isabella… So, I pick people, or I choose individuals that I feel like I have to test because I feel I am not worthy so I constantly have to ask them.
Seth… And your window is so dirty you cannot see out of it.
Isabella… So, the idea is basically practicing independence and not feeling and needing to have to do the test.
Seth… Correct. Any other questions?
Stephanie… Okay, when you are dealing with the narcissist how would you help that person to actually have a realistic expectation of themselves?
Seth… How do you define the idea of this person is a narcissist?
Stephanie… Okay let’s just say someone, you know…
Seth… No, define narcissistic?
Stephanie… They think they are the greatest human creature on earth.
Seth… And the question I would ask is, prove it?
Stephanie… So, but how would I ask the question about how? I would ask how do you define yourself?
Seth… How do you define yourself?
Stephanie… He would ask, what do you mean?
Seth… Well, how do you define yourself in relationship to everyone else? Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this. One must be careful. For if you do not wash your windows sunlight does not enter, your wants magnify. When the window is clean, and your vision is sharp the needs and the needs of other are clearly seen and your happiness and enjoyment of all that surround you create that which you may easily enjoy. Wash your windows and have a very pleasant week.
The Triad Personality, Complaining, Problem Solving and Transforming
Tuesday September 23, 2008
8:25 PM
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you here. A number of bits of housekeeping that I will take care of. George, notice how when one makes a change in their attitude things have a great tendency to be promoted to a favorable outcome. In terms of how you are doing, you are starting of course to look favorably upon yourself, and you will notice that when you do so you will certainly be a little more outgoing and you will be a little bit more at ease in terms of your day-to-day existence. So, I bring that point to you.
Isabella, you have exactly two weeks to finish a session, otherwise don’t bother asking questions; type one. Because you have now spent well over three months of not, so we will put that in perspective for you that when one gives their word one must certainly try to fulfill it. That’s two.
Three, Jasmine…
Isabella… You know I completely forgot about it.
Seth… I know you did and that’s what I have…
Isabella… I don’t even know what session I am supposed to be typing.
Seth… I’m sure that the man through whom I speak can give you assistance, especially since he has one already up there that’s says very clearly on it your earth-bound name typed.
That being stated, I believe that it is incumbent upon you… One more bit of housekeeping, please, I am sorry. Kaetorina…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Either you and the man through whom I speak will do your numbers properly otherwise I will not answer either one of your questions. You have exactly till tomorrow to start doing what you are supposed to be doing.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Now, that being stated, I can go on. I believe it is incumbent upon each of you except for you, George, because you were not here and you may certainly get a copy of last weeks session, to use the information to certainly help each of you to promote change. One of the great difficulties that each of you has is not only dealing with a Triad Personality but allowing yourself to fall into that routine so that change becomes exceptionally difficult. One of the things that you must do is first to stop complaining. You have a problem with that, Frank?
Frank… No, sounds like a good idea. (Laughs.)
Isabella… Wait a minute, first to stop to promote change the first thing you have to do?
Seth… Not only to promote change that certainly is true but also to prevent yourself from falling into the idea of becoming a Triad Personality is to stop complaining. You must transform yourself and the idea which is where my comment to George was given is that when you transform yourself and you look at situations and view them and knowing full well that your outcome can and should be positive then the idea of complaining becomes an exercise in futility. Life itself on the physical plane…
Jasmine… An exercise in futility?
Seth… Yes. Life itself on the physical plane, you have a problem, Kaetorina?
Stephanie… I am just trying to understand the sentence.
Seth… What do you not understand?
Stephanie… You’re just saying that if you always want the positive outcome then that’s why you end up complaining?
Seth… No, not at all. If you transform yourself with the idea that with whenever problems arise, and you know full well that you can have a positive outcome then the idea of complaining is…
Stephanie… Futile.
Seth… an exercise in futility. You understand?
Stephanie… Yes.
Isabella… Life itself on the physical plane…
Seth… Thank you. Life itself on the physical plane must present challenges, whether those challenges are viewed as time problems such as Isabella she didn’t make the, quotes here “time” to do something that she said she would, whether it be and is a factor that in many individuals becoming lackadaisical becomes an issue for their success as evidenced by Kaetorina’s and the man through whom I speak lackadaisical doing of their numbers.
Jasmine… Now, you said whether individuals become lackadaisical it interferes with their success?
Seth… Yes, if you don’t care you don’t do. Does that make sense to you, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… It is that type of an attitude that causes people to look at the idea of just do it for me. It’s no big deal, just do it for me! That is an individual who is not facing a challenge and what happens here is the idea that they complain about the problem itself, the result of or the necessity to do (hard) work so that they may accomplish and learn. A clear example of this may be seen in Jasmine’s difficulty with taking notes. If I was to ask Jasmine to please look at four sessions ago and please understand that it would apply to you, your answer from last week such as I just want to think about it and absorb it becomes futile because you do not remember what four sessions ago covered do you?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… Now, so that is the reason why taking notes becomes vital.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… When faced with a harsh task master one tends to conjure up or put in quotes “complain about” close quotes the superior or boss because our individual does not look at and understand the necessity to do quotes here “the job” close quotes at hand. Each individual has a style and that style at times is uniquely characteristic and defines that individual! There are individuals who work best when a time limit is set and do not have an open-ended situation. They require the pressure to accomplish something. There are other individuals who require the freedom so that they may do the job in a slow but steady fashion so that they can appreciate and absorb that particular task. Most individuals have a tendency to complain about change when it forces them to deviate from their common routine.
One must learn to transform themselves if you will into an individual who instead of complaining grasps the opportunity to challenge themselves with something different. A good teacher should never be routine, the information that is imparted to another must cause the others to think about and respond to those ideas. A clear example of this may be seen when Kaetorina had difficulty with one of my sentences. It required thought and effort for learning to occur.
Each challenge that you face must cause you to reevaluate yourself. When you learn to reevaluate yourself you transform yourself, you change into something that you were not. Unfortunately, when one looks at life itself one tends to see problems and our individuals become mired down or stuck with certain thoughts and or feelings about those particular challenges. The common cry why can’t I progress? I always seem to be stuck at this point. Now this difficulty occurs… (Isabella’s dog Krypto barked and had to be attended to and Jasmine asked Isabella to check the screen door.) This difficulty occurs because of routine ways of doing things. Far too many individuals refuse; underline the word refuse, to take responsibility for their lack of thought when dealing with routine matters. The individual who constantly complains about their boss or their weight or their quotes unquotes “bad habits” has set a pattern that causes them to routinely seek assistance that is unnecessary. A simple example here is seen when Jasmine asked Isabella to look at the front screen door. I admit it was not a long walk for either of them but, if a challenge is there then it is not necessary since it is an equal challenge for you to accomplish the task…
Jasmine… Huh?
Seth… In other words, Jasmine could have just gotten up and checked the door herself even though it was quotes here unquotes “your dog” who has the problem.
Isabella… Hmm.
Seth… Yet neither one of you realized that the best solution to our dog’s problem would have been to completely close the front door and leave the back door open. Arthur could have simply moved over to her left and been out of the breeze. This is not a great crisis here by any stretch of the imagination, but I use the idea so that all may profit from the experience.
This does certainly not mean that one is not entitled to or should be afraid of asking for help or assistance with any difficulty that you have. It is your choice of how to proceed when one does not understand one cannot move along. Yet one routinely and for the most part inefficiently does the same things routinely or over and over again, one cannot progress. You cannot change when you believe that the way in which you are trying to accomplish any task is by necessity repeatable since you erroneously believe that the outcome will always be the same. I believe that each of you has heard the expression, I didn’t see that coming and therefore my question to you is quite simple, how could you see it coming when there was no effort on your part to even attempt to search for a different solution?
When one complains, as in our last statement, I didn’t see that coming, you are justifying first to yourself and then of course to others the idea that this was a surprise. A surprise would be something like this, one takes a package that is marked chocolate ice cream and opens it and it tastes like a steak. That would be a surprise. Would it be a true surprise if your chocolate ice cream was not as flavorful as you thought it would be? And the answer is, no. You can see here that your expectations from something that you love to something that you hate manifest themselves because you have not allowed for the possibility here of change.
When one attempts to make a change, it is obvious that fear plays an important part in the process itself. One of the ways that you must overcome this type of difficulty is by examining the problem itself. First it is necessary for you to, underline the words, examine the problem. Far too often individuals attempt to solve the problem without understanding it. Once you have examined the problem it will become obvious that the problem itself has many facets. It will then become necessary for you to break down the problem into its component parts. For most individuals the overwhelming desire to end the problem takes precedence over the start of the solution. As with all problems there must be a beginning, a middle and finally an ending. By using this principle one can then understand how to avoid the trap of the Triad difficulty. Therefore, you break the problem down into small components, little steps if you will and you will then master each of those steps so that you do not become mired down or stuck so that you do not have to complain…
(Jasmine asked for Seth to repeat.)
Seth… And therefore, there is no necessity to complain since you have transformed yourself from what was into what is. Your expectations were kept under control and there was no necessity for anger either at self or another. And once again here, I believe that you should draw the triad and label its parts.
The TRIAD PERSONALITY
(Thanks to Cyndi Nichols for the help with above diagram. F.N.)
And while doing so I believe that you can understand how change itself is made simpler. I believe we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue. It should be obvious at this point of reference that change itself is something that one must desire, and work is necessary to achieve that desire. To understand and incorporate any material it is necessary to read and reread this lecture and any lecture for that matter. The problems that this lecture causes must be broken down into their component parts so that you may integrate those parts into your shared experience. Without doing the work change itself is elusive and cannot be achieved! The idea here is that one may not just wish for something and have the belief system that you will somehow magically obtain that which you desire. It is no secret that without hard work no problem can be solved. Inspiration occurs because you have set into motion the idea of a problem that you find it necessary to overcome. You will notice that when you stop complaining about the problem the answer arrives. When the train starts pulling out of the station you are able to enjoy the ride. Are there any questions?
Stephanie… When you say inspiration occurs because you have set into motion the idea of a problem that you find it necessary to overcome, how does that work with a parent and a child say where a parent may see a problem with the child or for the child since…
Seth… The child’s problem?
Stephanie… The child’s problem.
Seth… You have better vision than the child. Just as I have better vision than you do.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… So, what you are doing is you are saying to your child, “I see that you have difficulty and since I see that you have difficulty how do you feel about it?” And the child of course is going to you know make a statement. When the parent allows the child to try and formulate solutions, you are teaching the child first to think then to evaluate and then to appreciate themselves.
Stephanie… Then you become the source of the inspiration?
Seth… The source of the inspiration. When you just give an answer how much learning goes on?
Stephanie… None.
Seth… I believe you have your answer.
Stephanie… And can you…
Seth… And do not turn that (the microphone) upside down because nobody can hear you.
Stephanie… Can you give me some assistance with Natalie and this whole issue with this friend Lydia who she had this issue with today and how I can be an inspiration to her to learn to stand up for herself?
Seth… Natalie, why would you want yourself to be hurt by another? What could you do differently? How is it possible, what could you have done immediately when your quote unquote “friend” was bothering you?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth…. I believe that these are the type of questions, certainly the idea of learning to be strong and her use of Karate is necessary for her so that she may not only develop physically but mentally as well.
Stephanie… She voices the idea that it is painful, she doesn’t use the word “painful” but she is implying that it is painful for her to stand up for herself. It doesn’t feel right, her heart hurts, her mouth doesn’t want to say certain words.
Seth… Am I not stuck and mired down in the problem?
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Is that not what she is stating?
Stephanie… Yes, she is very weighed down with feeling terrible.
Seth… So, if you are weighed down and unwilling to move and unwilling to change how often will this happen again?
Stephanie… So, she is unwilling to?
Seth… She is unwilling to make a stance for herself therefore the love of the friend and the expectations of what the friend are, are different. The friend can only give a small amount, yet Natalie expects her to be her.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Therefore, the anger turned to depression and that is why the crying occurred. Why would my friend do this to me?
Stephanie… So, for her the thought of not being friends with this girl, I think she rejects that notion.
Seth… So, if she rejects the notion then she must understand the friend can only give that much, it’s all you should expect. And when the friend does something that you find wrong, obnoxious, bothersome, one must learn to stand up for themselves in any number of fair ways. Just as a child must learn to say to their parent, just as a friend must say to their friend, just as a wife may say to her husband, just as a husband may say to his boss, I do not appreciate this because.
Stephanie… Em hmm, she seemed to have an easier time doing that with her family then ah…
Seth… Safety.
Stephanie… her friend. She does quite well with the family.
Seth… Safety! And now she has to learn to transfer it to the outside world and that’s part of your job as being a proper parent.
Stephanie… Right, so I can also offer that observation.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Yeah. What would, you know sometimes our words as adults, obviously are different than what a child would feel comfortable saying. What could her words be to Lydia for example?
Seth… That is something that Natalie must choose her words. And the way that you elicit that is by saying, “What would you like to say to Lydia?”
Stephanie… She wants to ignore her
Seth… How does that help?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… How does that help you?
Stephanie… I think she said that the teacher told her that that was correct. (Frank laughs and then Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… So, I have caused difficulty with teachers of that ilk. Because in other words it is okay if someone hurts you, bothers you and upsets you and so you should just ignore it and continue being hurt? Is that the lesson you would like to teach?
Stephanie… Well, I wouldn’t but I think the teacher promoted that.
Seth… Because that’s easier for the teacher and not beneficial to the child.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Isabella… We really can’t tell if the teacher will retaliate.
Seth… No, it is not a question of retaliating it is more a simple question if you had a student who is being physically hurt…
Isabella… That’s different.
Seth… If you had a student who was being mentally hurt do you tell that student to ignore that other person?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Or do you tell the student to simply say, please don’t talk to me that way and walk away.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… That is a doing of something…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… that is not just ignoring.
Stephanie… Right. So, after this whole exchange I had with Natalie then she was finally able to say how mad she was and what helped her to get to that? Because she got rid of the…?
Seth… She got rid of the fear. How is it possible that a nice little girl like me can hate someone? Is it because my expectations of my friend are so great, yet she gives me so little? So, I hate myself for expecting more from her.
Stephanie… She was mad at herself.
Seth… Of course, that’s where it all starts. It’s the child who hates the parent because the parent isn’t giving them what they want. It is the same thing with the individual who hates the friend because the friend doesn’t live up to their expectations.
Stephanie… Em hmm. So, for her it is either learn to adjust the expectations and then stand up for self when she reinjures…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… or get rid of her.
Seth… If that’s the choice but that has to be coming from Natalie…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… not from Stephanie.
Stephanie… Right. Now what…
Seth… The temptation is too great for most parents to step in and not allow the child to grow.
Stephanie… Right, well I said to her, I said, “You have to make the decision of what you want to do.”
Seth… That’s correct.
Stephanie… Understand what she does and then you have to figure out what you are going to do with that.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… I don’t think at this point she knows what she necessarily knows what she wants to do, you know with it.
Seth… But that would be for her to decide.
Stephanie… Em hmm. Right, because she is very conflicted because I think she likes her on the one hand but on the other hand this goes on.
Seth… It depends upon how your daughter chooses to view the situation is the best that you can hope for.
Stephanie… And does she have a fear of getting rid of her as a friend?
Seth… Did you ask?
Stephanie… Well. She was not comfortable with wanting to not be friends.
Seth… Then I believe you have your answer.
Stephanie… But if that’s the case then she is left with the other idea which is that she has to stand up for herself if Lydia is going to do this.
Seth… If that’s what she chooses to do.
Stephanie… Right. Now, what about the idea of not sitting with her on the bus?
Seth… Whose choice should it be, yours?
Stephanie… Well, I would like it to be. (Laughs.)
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… I just wanted to clarify or get a sense of what this means that you cannot change when you believe that the way in which you are trying to accomplish any task is by necessity repeatable since you erroneously believe that the outcome will always be the same?
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Right, that just simply means don’t think that just because you do things the same way…
Seth… If you go to work in the exact same way everyday and you erroneously believe that it’s going to take you twenty-three and a half minutes to get from where you start to where you finish because you always go the same way, well what happens if there is a flood? What happens if there is a traffic accident? What happens if somebody goes ahead and does something that you can’t get around them. So, if you erroneously believe something you see what happens.
Frank… Then you get stuck in that.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Alright.
Isabella… How do you lower your expectations? Like when if someone continuously lets you down but yet you still have high expectations of them, how do you lower that in the respect of what happened last weekend with Jacob. You know the idea of my expectations continuously still being high and then getting angry at myself and depressed. So how do you lower your expectations of somebody?
Seth… The first bit is knowledge. One must understand that to lower your expectations first you must break the problem down. You must have knowledge of what you are dealing with.
Isabella… So, the first is to get knowledge?
Seth… To get knowledge. Now, let us use the idea of a percentage because you will understand this in a better fashion. If you believe that anyone…
Jasmine… To get information from the person?
Isabella… To get knowledge.
Seth… If you believe that any individual whether it be a husband, a wife, brother, parent, sister should provide you with eighty five percent of what you believe is necessary, in whatever situation but you are only receiving twenty-two percent, you’re angry, you hate that difference. But if the knowledge that you have allows you to understand that they can only provide twenty-two percent, what do you want more than that? So, the first thing in reducing your expectations is knowledge of.
Isabella… So, to get knowledge of what the person is really capable of giving you.
Seth… That’s correct and you do this by looking at the person and then judging their actions as an uninterested observer. How do they react to similar situations? How do they react to this similar situation? An individual who does not want to make a decision in one area will commonly not want to make a decision in another area. The person who is deceitful in one aspect of their existence will often be and react the same way in other aspects of their existence.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… So those are the two things that one must start with in terms of lowering their expectations.
Isabella… But that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt?
Seth… Nobody says that things should not hurt or bother you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You do existence on the physical plane.
Isabella… I mean in the process of lowering expectations and realizing that you must lower your expectations then that…
Seth… Then the hurt becomes less and less and less.
Isabella… Eventually but it does hurt when you first make that realization.
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Like it is the same thing with Allison and what I am going through with Allison right now that the understanding of lowering my expectations because she really uses me when she needs me.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And that’s basically what the relationship is.
Seth… But that does not mean you should end a relationship unless you choose do so.
Isabella… Right, but you know you wonder like what you are gaining out of relationship anyway.
Seth… You may gain someone just to complain about somebody else to. You may gain just the idea of I can go to a movie with this person.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You may gain the idea of I have something to do on a Wednesday evening, Tuesday evenings are busy. (Tuesday is when we meet.) You understand?
Isabella… Emm. If you really feel hurt by the person then why would you want to spend time with them?
Seth… I have no objection to that either.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But is the hurt due to your erroneous expectations or not? If somebody slaps you that’s not an erroneous expectation.
Isabella… Right, for instance she tries to step in and get involved with what was going on with Jacob and that really upset me. No, I have not discussed it with her yet.
Seth… And my question is, why not?
Isabella… Umm, because a part of me like almost doesn’t…
Seth… Did you simply say to her, this is between my former husband and me why are you getting involved?
Isabella… I did tell her to but… to keep her nose out of…
Seth… No, you were not that nice, in other words the question is why did you not say immediately in the most simplistic terms of all, this is between Jacob and myself?
Isabella… I did say that; I did say that. I did say to her, “Allison, no offense but this is none of your business.”
Seth… Well, that is not the same thing is it?
Isabella… Umm.
Seth… One is harsh.
Isabella… Right, okay I understand that.
Seth… So, when you react that way, your expectations were as a friend she should not do this. You were expecting eighty-five percent of her not getting involved then she gave you twent- two percent.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… You understand the difference now? So, the hatred and anger that occurred was because The Triad Personality was formed immediately.
Isabella… I mean, yeah there’s other issues there that is going on obviously but this particular one…
Seth… I’m just dealing with this one.
Isabella… was just kind of like the icing on the cake sort to speak.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Right. Okay.
Seth… Because her tendency would be to try to defend family.
Isabella… Of course, and I wouldn’t blame her for that, he’s her brother, I understand that, and I understand that blood is thicker than water. But she made it blatantly clear that she’s never wanted to be involved and then all of a sudden, she got involved.
Seth… Where do you think the involvement came from?
Isabella… I know he asked her to do it. I’m not saying, I am a hundred percent positive that he asked her to do that. But I was still surprised that she actually did.
Seth… Again, it is what is because your expectations were such in advanced or too great for what the situation called for.
Are there any other questions?
Yes?
Stephanie… I just want to ask about this new patient I am going to see tomorrow night.
Seth… That’s a futuristic question.
Stephanie… No, I wanted to ask if you have any, if you can give me any assistance on how I can help her to be okay with my seeing her parent?
Seth… Futuristic question.
Stephanie… Why is it futuristic?
Seth… Because how do I do something when I have not even met this patient is automatically a futuristic question.
Stephanie… So next week, you’ll answer it?
Seth… No, next week you are going to come in with a very different type of question.
Stephanie… Oh because…
Seth… You’ll have met the patient and have a greater understanding of the patient’s needs. You have none now.
Stephanie… But I know any kid I am going to see I have to see the mother.
Seth… So therefore, there is no question is there?
Stephanie… But…
Seth… There is no question since you have now made a determination that this is a proper course of action.
Stephanie… What if she wants to not ever come to therapy because I am going to see the mother, her mother?
Seth… Then that’s her choice, is it not?
Stephanie… Okay so I was just wondering whether there was a way I could explain it so that she would be more favorable about it.
Seth… You may explain it in any way you can because you will understand the patient better once you meet the patient.
Stephanie… Okay, fine.
Seth… Again, are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this: if you stop complaining and transform yourself, change is simple, and your needs will be met. When you are not mired down, and you see that your train is moving, your needs will be met. When you examine a problem and understand its parts your needs will be met and if your needs are met your wants therefore will be diminished. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening: pleasure to have all of you here. As it should be noted a master psychic has decided that she would like to lead the session this evening so I shall gladly pass the microphone over to her. Now I strongly recommend, Jasmine, that you not only write down what is dictated to you, but you also will then take careful notes. Whether it is to be printed out or not, you will get far more by doing the actual physicality of doing this than if you do not. So therefore, without much further ado we shall allow our microphone to be passed to Kaetorina who shall for the most part lead a great portion of this session.
Stephanie… Okay. So, I had a private session with Seth. It was actually about a patient, but he then went into what is related to expectations and he talked about the idea that when there are unrealized expectations it causes this Triad Personality to form.
Jasmine… Alright, slow down, when there is unrealized?
Stephanie… When there are unrealized expectations, it causes what is called a Triad Personality to form. So the diagram to understand it, first you are going to put the word “Expectations”…
Jasmine… Where at the base of the triangle?
Stephanie… Up on top, let’s say.
Jasmine… Oh, it’s an upside-down triangle.
Stephanie… Yeah, well don’t do the triangle first. First you are going to write the word, “Expectations”
Seth… Write that word in the middle of your paper.
Stephanie… Okay and you are going to put arrows going to the left and the right of the word. Then below it…
Seth… In the middle.
Stephanie… You are going to make a triangle with the word “Love” on the left.
Frank… “Expectations” is above love?
Stephanie… So below “Expectations,” go down like two, three lines, put “Love” on the left and then go over on the same line and put “Hate”. Okay and you are going to at the bottom of it to form a triangle the word, “Anger”.
Frank… Now arrows face either way?
Stephanie… The arrows are going to be connected in between, you know from “Love” to “Hate” with the arrow going in both directions and you are going to connect “Love” to “Anger” and “Hate” to “Anger” and put arrows in both directions. And then from the left side of “Love” you’ll put an arrow going to the left and the right actually of “Hate”, goes out both ways. Okay? And to the left of the “Anger” you can put an arrow out to the left and just say “Self”, write “Self” and then to the right of the “Anger” put an arrow and that would be “Others”. So, it works in both directions.
Stephanie… So, Seth was using the idea of children and parents, I think that it was helping me with my father and relationship to that in helping me to work this all out. So, the idea was that when you have an expectation that is unrealized for example the hope that a parent will love you…
Frank… Hang on a second… okay.
Seth… Betty, are you getting this?
Betty… Oh, yeah. (Betty is on the phone.)
Frank… The hope that a parent will love you…
Stephanie… in a certain fashion.
Frank… Right.
Stephanie… And then you experience the idea that they do not; this is going to give you the first portion of the triangle, the explanation of the “Anger”. So, the first portion of this anger is, “Why don’t they love me?” That’s with the anger going into the love portion.
Frank… Anger which means they don’t love me?
Jasmine… Anger going to love?
Stephanie… You see in the triangle?
Jasmine… Yeah.
Stephanie… Right, so that, the individual experiences, let’s say the child…
Frank… That’s the self.
Stephanie… experiences anger about, “Why don’t they love me?” That’s the first question the individual, the child would ask. The second portion of the anger is going up to the “Hate” let’s say which is, “I hate them because they don’t love me.” (Long pause.)
So, the idea going back to the “Expectations” is that the more the child experiences both of these ideas the larger the void so the larger the space goes between the “Love” and the “Hate” for example and the more suffering with a depression.
Jasmine… Alright, the more the child experiences both of these, the “Love”, “Hate”, “Anger”?
Stephanie… Yeah, that gets wider and wider. In other words, the more the child will say, “Why don’t they love me? Why don’t they love me?”
Frank… And this is in terms of expectations?
Stephanie… Right, because they are unrealized expectations; they’re thinking that their perception is that the parents should love them in a specific manner.
Jasmine… Right so the more they experience both of these the further the “Love” and the “Hate” moving the triangle?
Stephanie… Right.
Isabella… So, the triangle becomes larger and larger.
Stephanie… Right and the anger will move further down because the anger gets larger and larger.
Isabella… So, it’s separation between the “Anger” and the “Love” and the “Hate” get larger?
Stephanie… Right, em hmm.
Isabella… So, it is a growing tripod.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Jasmine… Triad.
(Stephanie and Isabella repeated) “Triad.”
Jasmine… So, the whole triangle expands.
Isabella… With every time their expectation is unrealized?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Isabella… It gets bigger and bigger?
Stephanie… Yeah, because that’s the point if the child is looking for a certain response from the parent and it doesn’t happen…
Isabella… Every…
Stephanie… then the anger portion, “Why don’t they love me?” and “I hate them because they don’t love me,” gets more and more and more.
Jasmine… So, the triangle in a sense goes like this? The triangle goes like this? (Probably showing the triangle.)
Stephanie… Yeah, the whole thing has to become bigger because the anger is the whole, is what is operating.
Jasmine… Every time their expectations are unmet? Unfulfilled?
Stephanie… Yeah, what their perception…
Isabella… Unrealized.
Stephanie & Jasmine… Unrealized.
Stephanie… And the “Anger” also in terms of the “Self” and the “Others” where you have written that, that would make sense as well because the “Anger” gets worse and worse. If your perception is that they don’t love you then you become more and more unworthy so the “Anger” there, angry at “Self” and of course anger at “Others” becomes greater and greater.
Isabella… Now why are you angry at yourself? Because you feel you are unworthy?
Stephanie… You’re not lovable, that you are bad.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Which of course is another way of describing Depression.
Stephanie… Which is interesting because it doesn’t have to be, I was talking to Seth about it, the idea when you think of Depression you think of not getting out of bed, sad, crying, all of that but…
Isabella… Anger is depression.
Stephanie… Right, but…
Isabella… Well, anger is depression turned inward.
Stephanie… Right but you don’t typically (Isabella talking,) stereotypically and even clinically in my practice or whatever it is you don’t necessarily see depression manifested just with anger. In that sense, when somebody is just in a rage that’s really depression, “I hate them,” so they loathed themselves.
Isabella… Em.
Stephanie… So that’s the premise of it so should I go into and read the…
Seth… You are doing very well.
Stephanie… Okay, but you want me to read this.
Seth… Oh, word for word, let them take notes.
Stephanie… Okay, we ready to start the…
Seth… Whenever you’re ready, I will make my little additions when necessary.
Stephanie… Okay. So, does everyone understand the Triangle pretty well?
(Group answered, yes.)
Okay, So I will read it, slowly.
Isabella… You better. (There was laughter.)
Stephanie… The idea of expectations that this individual has caused this Triad Personality to form.
Frank… So just a little bit slower than that.
Seth… And you complain about how I speak. (Laughter.)
Frank… He was waiting for that too. This the first time doing it.
Stephanie… Okay, got that?
Frank… Yep.
Stephanie… It is an ingrained physical plane biological need that children automatically…
Seth… Notice the word should be underlined, please.
Stephanie… Yeah, well Jerry has that in his notes.
Seth… The word, “need.”…
Stephanie… Okay, but I have to okay.
Seth… The word, “need” should be underlined.
Frank… need that?
Stephanie… that children automatically love their parents.
Isabella… That they feel that they need? Is that what you said I am asking you?
Jasmine… Well, it’s a bio…
Stephanie… It’s need, you just do.
Jasmine… It’s a biological…
Stephanie… It’s a biological need that you have.
Frank… Absolutely.
Jasmine… When you say, “Biological” that seems to be coming from physiological, is that what you mean?
Frank… When you think of all the bonds it’s… (a biological need.)
Isabella… Em hmm.
Stephanie… When a child clearly finds it necessary to hate their parents this is due to the fact of unrealized expectations upon their part. In other words, the parents fall short in terms of providing that which the child “believes” that they ought to receive. The greater the perception of failure that the child has the greater the dis-ease…
Seth… Make sure you tell them where the paragraphs are.
Stephanie… Okay… that accompanies the failure. Since the child believes that they should have parents who love them unconditionally the failure to do so produces anger on the part of the child.
The first portion of anger is, “Why don’t they love me?” The second portion of anger is, “I hate them because they do not love me.” The anger works in both directions. The greater dis-ease of the situation…
Jasmine… Greater the disease?
Seth… DIS-ease. (Dis-ease refers to earlier Seth concept of the unease one can feel as opposed to the idea of illness.)
Stephanie… the greater the underlying depression becomes. It is masked due to the “hatred” of the situation, the greater the dis-ease the greater the anger at the parents due to the fact that the “Void” that has been created encompasses the difficulties that the child has in expressing their displeasure with themselves. The child cannot understand how it is possible that their parents do not love them. The despair that surrounds those feelings encompasses as a driving force to their inappropriate actions.
Jasmine… Whose?
Seth… The child’s.
Stephanie… The internal question becomes, “Can they love me even if I am truly “bad”?” (More discussion on where quotes go etc.)
Seth… Close quote. There should be a question mark at the end of “bad.” Now a new paragraph.
Stephanie… Their behavior due to the depression… (Stephanie’s cell went off.) Is it my family?
Seth… Go check.
Isabella… Can I ask you a question while she is checking?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Does the Triad, not the Triad. Does the individual in relationship to the unrealistic expectations have to be a parent figure?
Seth… You’ll see when she continues to read on.
Stephanie… Okay, so new paragraph. Their behavior due to the depression over this area gives rise to more hatred or lack of the proper return on the parent’s part. Of course…
Frank… Hold it a second.
Jasmine… So, either the behavior causes more hatred on part of the child, or the behavior causes lack of the proper return from the parent?
Stephanie… Well, the child acts out so incredibly much because they are so miserable and angry…
Jasmine… So, they can’t stand them even more.
Stephanie… Right.
Jasmine… So, it’s like a vicious cycle.
Stephanie… Em hm. That’s why the arrows…
Jasmine… Yeah, em hmm.
Stephanie… the anger goes to others. Okay, where did you stop?
Jasmine… “On the parent’s part.”
Seth… You will notice that when I stop, and it gets confusing because the going back and forth and yet you are just reading; I point that out to you. (Stephanie laughs and says, “Okay.”) Master psychics often have that problem.
Stephanie… There you go. Of course, the child never realizes they are driving their parents away. The actions of the child are meant to force parents to love them even though the child is “bad”. Anger leads to depression and anger that also leads to a “pointing of a finger” towards someone else. That is why the “Anger” portion leads away from it with two arrows; it is not a single unit. Therefore, the obligation of the “therapist” is to first discuss and get the “child” to look at their hatred.
What are their (the child’s) true expectations of their parents and are those expectations reasonable? The way the “therapist” should approach this is to ask the question.
Seth… By the way put “therapist” there in quotes, please. (Frank is giggling.) That does not necessarily mean what you do but even as a friend who is acting as a “therapist.”
(The telephone answering machine had gone on before and there was a beeping and discussion on shutting it off.)
Stephanie… If an individual is obnoxious to you, is it your obligation to truly love that person?
Jasmine… Em.
Seth… Interesting to note that all the light bulbs just went off, (Stephanie laughs,) or on in the case here.
Stephanie… For example, if someone spits on you is it your obligation to love them even if the person who spits on you is a brother or sister? Is it your obligation to love them since they are so obnoxious?
Seth… Is that beeping annoying you, Jasmine? (Jasmine responded but it was difficult to make out.)
I understand that.
Jasmine… Since they are so what?
Stephanie… Since they are so obnoxious.
Jasmine… Why are you crying?
Isabella… Just let her finish.
Stephanie… The routine answer should be, “No, you are not, but your expectations to love a brother or sister are still there.” Is it then necessary for you to change your expectations as to who and what your brother, sister, aunt, cousins or parent is since it is necessary to change your expectations as to what they are? The degree of hatred will then lessen.
Jasmine… Why? You realize that it is not your obligation to love them?
Stephanie… Your expectations have now changed as to what they are.
Jasmine… See, what I am trying to write, I’m not taking anything in, it makes no, I don’t even follow what the whole thing, I would be much better off listening.
Seth… No, you would not because the fact of that matter is that in three days with a quiz you would fail. You must have a point of reference to go back to. That is your lackadaisical attitude…
Jasmine… You’re wrong.
Seth… No, unfortunately it has been proven time and time again that you do not incorporate things just by listening.
Jasmine… Go on.
Stephanie… The degree of hatred of will then lessen. You may not like or may disapprove of what they do but the understanding of what they are will allow you to love them for what they are and or capable of giving. If you then understand your expectations your need for anger on both sides, depression portion and finger pointing portion must lessen.
Seth… I believe at this point we shall take a break. I suggest small to a medium amount of discussions upon what you have just heard and then I will give a number of highly salient points to make matters a little more murky in some instances, a little clearer in others.
Break taken.
(The Triad Personality is a very important concept involving a number of ideas. In a communication with me on June 14, 2019, Seth reminded me that his material is very layered as is true for The Triad Personality. The group is about to return to this concept many years later with an emphasis on Anger and Acceptance. Seth explained that the anger portion is of great importance and that anger has a direction, meaning it points at what you are dissatisfied with. Anger also can have a positive or negative direction. A positive example would be to know what you are angry about which would dictate the correct amount of anger to be and what the action in response might be. Examples of negative anger might be lost in rage or becoming extremely angry over something that does not merit it. While reducing the Expectations will reduce the void and anger portions in our triangle the Anger itself if understood and acceptance is employed would help change the Expectations portion. In terms of The Triad Personality being a “thing” like a wound or a void created by the parent/child dyad Seth stated that every situation has a beginning, a middle and an end. It is hoped that the above makes The Triad Personality concept clearer. F.N.)
Seth… Let me continue. One of the major ideas that I must get across here is simply this: If you could imagine that your portion of the Triangle, the “Love” to “Hate” ratio if you will, can expand or contract. One, and the end of this is significant here, if you have an expectation that your “loved” one is capable of giving you let us say 85% of what you desire from them, but they are only giving you 20% then your expectations lead to hatred for the unanswered 65%.
Frank… The balance is expectations…
Seth… For the unanswered 65%.
Jasmine… So already you are not even expecting a 100%?
Seth… No one can give you a 100%.
Jasmine… Oh, okay. So, 85 would be pretty good.
Seth… Now, if you will read or reread the end of my little mini-lecture to Kaetorina once you realize that they are only capable of giving you 20% of that which you believe you should have, or desire should have or desire then it becomes necessary for you as an individual to change your expectations of who and what they are. To carry this thought further once you understand that they cannot give you more then they are capable of or willing to give you, your void between love and hatred is automatically diminished and your anger that is produced because of the void is also lessened. One does not become depressed when one’s expectations are met. One does not finger point and get angry at someone else…
Jasmine… One doesn’t finger point?
Seth… Finger point, anger has a sense of direction that is where the reference of the idea of finger pointing comes to be.
Jasmine… One doesn’t finger point or become angry at someone else?
Seth… At someone else when they are meeting your fair expectations. It should be noted that the more one meets your expectations the greater the likelihood is that they will continue to give you more and more. Simply put, a wife who asks her husband to stop at the grocery store to bring something home for her or the family and is met by our wife with true appreciation for that simple fact will find it impossible not to “want,” put want in quotes there, to please her again. So that our husband who never went grocery shopping will eventually start asking his wife, “Do you need anything? Can I stop off and help you?” It is the idea here, of feeling appreciated and cherished for what you are giving. The void is lessened, the anger diminishes, and the loving intensity automatically grows.
When one works at improving any situation there has to be an agreement between two individuals. When one individual says I am not going to do anything then of course there can be no agreement but when one individual agrees that yes, we should work together for an improvement in a relationship lets say, it is the small little steps that one takes that amount to a massive change. We shall deal with small steps at a later time.
Stephanie… Right but are you saying that in the relationship with my father, you are saying that…
Seth… If your father was truly willing to work to improve his relationship with you…
Stephanie… Right, okay then this would occur.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… But if not?
Seth… Then it stays where it is.
Stephanie… Right so then this isn’t about your being appreciative…
Seth… No…
Stephanie… If something falls on deaf ears and they could care a less…
Seth… You still do not understand; you are trying to fantasize in what you are trying to do here in terms of meeting an unrealistic expectation. If my father did this and if he did that, would it be better? See that is what you are trying hard to say and that of course is not possible.
Stephanie… But how do you know when someone has the ability…
Seth… Everyone has the ability. Do they choose to use it?
Stephanie… Okay so that’s the issue then, it’s whether they choose to try.
Seth… Yes, but that is not the point that I am making here. If you don’t choose to try, you going to get nowhere.
Stephanie… Okay and there are people like that.
Seth… Absolutely.
Stephanie… Okay, because if they don’t believe in themselves, if they are selfish, if they are self serving…
Seth… Correct, they will pick it up in another lifetime if they have to.
Stephanie… Okay so you are saying the people who might be open to and aren’t just self serving that if you can appreciate that will move them and then you can have a back-and-forth situation.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Yeah, I have another one. Where you stated in the private session the idea that you then would come to loving them in some fashion based on whatever, I don’t know, based on whatever they can give but I don’t understand if your expectations cannot be met at all what part are you loving?
Seth… No one’s expectations should they choose to have a relationship with somebody are never met. That’s not possible. For if somebody does not meet any of your expectations, zero, you will automatically not want to deal with that person and you will walk away.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… It is the friend who is always critical, who is jealous, who is obnoxious to you who spits on you, do you want a relationship with that individual?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Therefore, your question does not follow through.
Stephanie… Okay, so again same thing as before, it’s only the ones who can participate and are willing to, would like to try to make something…
Seth… There are individuals whether they be parents, brothers, sisters, lovers, wives, husbands who do not choose to get along with another person. They don’t choose to get along with them, it doesn’t matter what the other person does.
Stephanie… Right, but when you have to adjust your expectations because of them you’re not necessarily left with embracing and loving whatever they, whatever is left.
Seth… Of course, you are because they can’t give you anymore at that particular point of reference so you will learn to love them for what they are.
Stephanie… Okay, but…
Jasmine… When you stop thinking that there is something missing in you that is causing them to behave that way.
Stephanie… No, I understand that but if you were going to relate it back to my father’s situation again, what am I loving him for?
Seth… Whatever he would do that pleases you.
Stephanie… In this…
Seth… No, it is not in this. You are looking for a specific answer.
Stephanie… Well, what am I going to love my father for?
Seth… If he decided to have a proper relationship with you.
Stephanie… Okay, that’s not what I am saying. Right, if he decided to try.
Seth… But again, you’re dealing with an individual who upon your value system of judgment gives you zero.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Then you don’t have to deal with him.
Stephanie… Right, okay, doesn’t apply, okay.
Arthur… But part of adjusting one’s expectations is sometimes to remove oneself from…
Seth… From that situation, of course. One adjusts, Arthur, as one needs to.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… Um, no, well, I have questions that are outside of session, so we’ll stick with session first.
Seth… Go ahead, Frank.
Arthur… Well, it’s related to session.
Seth… Go ahead, Arthur, pick up the microphone and speak loudly.
Arthur… When I had the experience a few years back of going along the road and suddenly bursting into tears and pulling over, pain in my shoulder and forgiving my father, it came seemingly out of nowhere to me, I, it seemed like a moment of grace, I forgave him, but I don’t even know what I am asking you, sorry. It’s like I still forgave him, but I know that my expectations of him, I don’t know where I am heading to.
Seth… Well, when you…
Arthur… How does that filter in, how does that dovetail all of this?
Seth… When you understand what you are asking, I can answer a question. I am not going to… (Arthur speaking softly perhaps in acknowledgement.)
Frank… The one thing in particular about this material that I am trying to get a handle on is the difference between the ideas of what somebody is capable of versus…
Seth… That’s not your decision. You will know what they are capable of automatically.
Frank… Versus what they…
Seth… are not capable of.
Frank… choose.
Seth… Or not capable of.
Frank… What they are capable of is the other side of what they are not capable of?
Seth… Right and that is what you are confused with the idea of what they choose to give you. If they choose not to give you…
Frank… Right.
Seth… 65%, they are not capable of giving it to you.
Frank… That’s a different not choose though than what I am thinking.
Seth… It’s all the same.
Frank… I could be aware of what they are capable of giving. I am aware of this 65%?
Seth… No, you’re aware of the 20% they’re giving you. You want 65% more.
Frank… I want, right. Now they may be capable but choose not to or they may just not be capable. There are things that one…
Seth… It matters not, same ending.
Frank… It seems to me it matters if someone is trying versus not trying.
Seth… No, no, no, when someone is trying…
Frank… Right.
Seth… with you to accomplish something but they don’t have the ability…
Frank… That’s different!
Seth… that is what the confusion on your part is.
Frank… Right.
Seth… It’s not that they are not choosing to give it to you, they may not have the ability to give it to you.
Frank… Right.
Seth… There’s your answer.
Frank… But my trouble is…
Seth… You don’t have to find an answer. You have to know what they are capable of giving you. That’s the end of the discussion. There is nothing more to analyze. There is nothing more to look at.
Stephanie… Again, it’s still your expectation that they might be capable of giving 85%. It’s your expectation; it’s not that they can actually produce it. You’re only getting 20 because that’s all they can but you had an expectation that they thought they could give it.
Frank… But I am also thinking in terms of, you know what, I could give you this but it’s not that important for me to want to give it to you, so I am not going to. So…
Stephanie… It’s not capable of; if they are not invested, they don’t care.
Frank… That sits very different than the pure inability. What about the choosing of withholding? I choose to withhold this but maybe I am angry at you for not giving me what I expect.
Seth… Then you will work out a relationship with that person. Again, you have to think about this, this is not something you can deal with. Yes, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Well, what I was thinking of, would you say that over the course of time my expectations of my mother and sister but more importantly my mother have changed so that when she wanted to go to my sister- in-law’s for the Jewish Holidays instead of being with us, I wasn’t that hurt because I have come to understand that that’s…
Seth… You have lessened your expectations to some extent with her.
Jasmine… So that’s why it didn’t hurt me so much.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… Okay, and that’s how I am dealing with them right now, both of them.
Seth… Because you have no other…
Jasmine… I’m not expecting anything really. I really am.
Seth… Not quite factual.
Jasmine… No, I don’t really expect anything.
Frank… I have a seminar coming up on Monday regarding straight meditation, different ways people can learn to meditate. I don’t know at this point how well attended it will be, it may or may not be, but it seems that perhaps this area for me as someone who is attempting to teach is not being profitable.
Seth… Because you use it incorrectly. You look at meditation as to getting every answer to every problem that the universe will provide it. Well, you forget that you create your own reality, you’re responsible. Therefore, meditation should be used as a study guide, as a relaxation technique to open yourself up so that you may perhaps receive some information that is necessary for you. But even if it just gets one to relax, to enjoy the beauty that surrounds them, it is highly profitable.
Frank… Now, if I truly understood that and lived that, would then people come?
Seth… Not necessarily but that matters not.
Frank… So, at some point if they weren’t coming why would it make sense for me to continue in this vein, then perhaps it is…
Seth… Because you enjoy it.
Frank… If three people come and I enjoy it, then it is worthwhile.
Seth… Correct. If no one comes and you enjoy it is worthwhile.
Frank… If no one comes then there is no one to teach.
Seth… But you can teach yourself the value of not being disappointed. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just wanted to ask quickly about Natalie, she went with her homework, how do I know when she actually needs my assistance or if she is being lazy.
Seth… Well one must assume that a child who has difficulty would tend to be lazy because they don’t want to push themselves. So therefore, let me see what you can do.
Stephanie… Okay and then I do that, and she gets easily frustrated or doesn’t want… that’s the point if she is now getting further frustrated because she doesn’t know how…
Seth… When you sit down with her, and she automatically does it without a problem did she know? Or did you have to teach?
Stephanie… I had to assist her with some stuff.
Seth… Then she’d required the assistanc, but do not do the work for her.
Stephanie… But is it, sometimes I feel like she is just not being quiet in thinking.
Seth… Maybe possible but you will have to determine that. No one can give you that answer.
Stephanie… Right, so, I just have to kind of trial and error with her, yeah.
Seth… Let me leave you all with this: The Triad Personality, when left unrecognized must increase your wants and your needs will magnify. A most hardy good evening to all.
Seth…. Pleasure to have all of you here again. A small bit of housekeeping that we shall do, earlier today I gave Kaetorina in a semi-private session a great deal of information I have instructed her to type this information in as quick a form as possible so once she gets that information, I am sure that the man through whom I speak will be glad to pass it around.
That being said we are on our idea and subject of Change. Change for obvious reasons can be either appropriate or inappropriate, if you choose good or bad. One must learn that change must be held within the confines of an ethical system. Now just for our purposes we shall pass around the microphone and each of you will give what your interpretation of the word “Ethics” means. Betty, would you like to go first?
Betty… Okay, I guess a system of moral principles.
Isabella… Ethics are the idea of what is considered in quotation marks, “right or wrong.”
Arthur… Right or wrong according to a belief and value system. I guess I would also say it has to do with not, with respect and with not causing harm.
Frank… Moral rules, guidelines that one lives by or tries to.
Jasmine…. An ethical system would be a system where people choose to follow, as Frank said a moral way of living, where they have integrity or they don’t have integrity, where they make choices for the good of all.
Stephanie… Everything that people said and the word honorable came into my mind, just a system of values that would be honorable and integrity etcetera.
Seth…. One of the more interesting notions that I have concerns the idea itself of ethics. The question comes to pass, who makes up the rules that one considers moral? Who determines what is correct or incorrect? Every society chooses for themselves what they consider to be ethical or moral behavior. There are countries where prostitution is legal throughout the entire country. Where you reside, prostitution is legal in some places but illegal in others. What is the moral or ethical value of these type of systems?
Jasmine…. Could you restate that question again?
Seth…. What is the moral or ethical value of these type of systems? So, my question to you is, if you are going to change anything one must do so in an ethical manner. I find therefore that your ideas of ethics must be readjusted to allow you as an individual to prosper. My first point here in terms of an ethical change is to DO NO HARM, and you may write that in capital letters, do no harm and underline it. When one changes one must first realize that you are not existing by yourself. Whatever changes you make must be viewed by others and it automatically stands that as you change so must they. I have stated previously that as you change your past and your future adjusts automatically to the change. Questions arise, if one is not going to do any harm it is your responsibility, underline the word “your” to contemplate that which you are attempting to change so that you do not injure another. Now it should be noted here that one may give numerous examples where your change causes a problem with another. They may not like what you are doing but, that is perfectly acceptable! As long as your change does no harm, one does not need approval from others to change in an ethical manner.
The question then comes to each of you, what if the change is necessary but it appears that I am injuring someone else? Let us look at a simple example here, a father comes home and tells his wife and children that his company must relocate and if he agrees to go, he will get a promotion and a large increase in salary. And he believes that it is necessary to affect that type of a change. Is it ethical for him to uproot the other members of his family? And the answer in most cases is absolutely yes, for the “harm” that his family members will say he is causing is transitory; it does not induce or cause a permanent harm. So, one must be ethically sure that you do no harm; having individuals not like what you are doing is different from hurting them.
My second point to make an ethical change, again one must carefully reflect that what you do is to make sure that the change itself will make things better. Change for the sake of change is often disastrous. Individuals often believe that it does not matter what they do with the idea of transforming themselves into something else. The individual who lives through his children and causes their existence to change with his will does not make things better, for he is inflicting his value system upon someone else. The new boss in a firm who comes in and demands things be done in his/her way is obviously affecting change however, even if those changes would eventually be profitable the quickness of the change does not allow individuals to process or adjust to a new value system. Many of you have often asked why was this information given now when you could have given it years ago and the answer is simple. The change that I give to you causes you to reflect to study to contemplate areas of your existence that heretofore were unnoticed and unappreciated. You cannot appreciate that which you are not ready for. One must therefore allow individuals to move at their own pace so that they may adjust to the relative changes that are necessary in order for their incarnation to become prosperous.
My third point in ethical system of change, one must have and show respect to others. While this statement itself appears obvious, it is often one of the more difficult aspects of an ethical change. How often do you hear a parent saying to a child you will do this because I told you so? Even if the change is morally and physically necessary and correct, the lesson that is learned is that change is a demanded entity by itself and that authority dictates the necessity for change. How often have each of you heard stories of bosses saying, “Do it my way. I don’t care the way you have done it before.” How does this show respect for another’s intelligence? How does this allow the growth of a subordinate? If you are an individual who always dictates to, my question to you is do you really like yourself or are you afraid that others will see you for what you are?
Kindness, which is the backbone of charity is necessary for all individuals who request change of themselves and others. An individual who becomes so highly critical of themselves often finds it impossible to change since they effectively detest themselves and fear that they cannot succeed. Indications of this type of behavior are often seen in individuals who try to lose weight or stop smoking since the failure rate is quite high with these actions.
My fourth point, for any change to be considered an ethical act one must be fair. Your ideas first must be adequate for yourself. You cannot be fair to others when you are not fair to yourself. Often times people expect change to occur instantaneously, and so the question arises is that possible for change to occur instantaneously? And the answer is obviously, of course, for most positive change occurs instantaneously since the background of work has already been done. The person who has been a smoker for years and states, I am not going to smoke and puts down their cigarette believes that his change was instantaneous which of course it was, however what was the background, the decision making ability that allows our individual to make that change?
Jasmine… What was the background?
Seth…. Background to allow our individual to make that change. Did he do any reading on smoking? Did he listen to news reports? Did he see other people who were adversely affected by smoking? All of these answers are obvious. So, our individual was fair to himself because he incorporated all available information that made his change possible. The individual who hates must be fair to themselves and when our individual who hates learns that it is a belief system that is wrong, one’s expectations of someone else (Jasmine asked for the correct dictation.) cause hatred to appear. What are your expectations of this other person? When they fall short one learns to detest the idea that they cannot give you what you believe you require. It is the difference between what they are and what your expectations make you believe what they should be.
Jasmine…. Okay… (Stephanie laughs.) It is the difference between what they are?
Seth… What they are and what your expectations of these individuals are that causes you to expect a return. When they cannot give it one then states, “I hate that!” In reality hate is not an absence of love, hate is the difference of what you do not have or receive. Therefore, you are not fair to yourself in effecting a change where your expectations of others are so large that they cannot fulfill your desires.
My last point on ethical change, number five; be loving and this area of change must be viewed carefully. Physical plane love is not being loving. When one loves correctly one allows themselves the luxury of becoming themselves. When one loves correctly and you may review my lectures on this, one allows others to prosper. Change that is done in an ethical manner allows you and others to grow, to experience, to enjoy the grandeur of the physical plane. Your experiences within this context become manifest if you are truly a loving individual. Each path that you choose to take is always fraught with challenges and opportunities. When you find change that is necessary you will learn to love yourself, to embrace the challenge so that you as an individual will assist others who need to function in the same manner since their challenges…
Jasmine… Stop for a second, when you find change that is necessary you will learn to love self and embrace challenges so that you as an individual will assist others, that is as far as I got.
Stephanie… Who need to function in the same manner.
Seth…. Period. You will quickly note that their challenges will be similar to yours. You will learn to lend a helping hand for that is the greatest gift that you give. I’ve changed this way; I see you are having a similar problem. Let me to be loving enough to share my experiences with you.
It is at this point we shall take a break: (9:07)
Seth…. Let us continue. Since most of you are complaining that your hands are hurting, tired and falling asleep, therefore are there any questions?
Isabella… How do you know if the change, I am looking up point two which was, make sure the change you are making is going to be better. How do you know that the change you are going to make is going to be better?
Seth…. Well, it is an easy task, for example if you go ahead and have a choice when you have information. Is this information helpful to me? Would it be helpful to someone else? So, you can make a change based upon what you have. But if you have information and choose to make a change where you don’t know if the information will be helpful or hurtful to others then of course one must research, think about and formulate a course of action in slow steps. Do you understand?
You may make a certainly positive change for yourself, but would you make that change and the way in which you are making it if it hurts or harms someone else?
Isabella… No, but I think that’s a no-brainer. I mean I think that is obvious.
Seth…. No, it is not obvious, for many people do just that. They know information, whatever that information may be. Let us for example state that you knew information that one of your colleagues was not doing the proper work and you were doing more than your share of that work and you believed that a change in this attitude is necessary. Well, if one goes ahead and then says to everyone, “I am not doing this! I am not doing this because my partner was supposed to be doing this and is doing nothing.” That would hurt him or her. Therefore, what you would do is you would formulate a plan of action to assist yourself by first dealing in a fair and just manner with the other.
Isabella… Right, I understand that difference. I guess in terms of, I am trying to think in the situation with my ex-husband when he was trying to make a change, in as in leaving the marriage. I don’t feel that was an ethical or moral change.
Seth…. Was it?
Isabella… No.
Seth…. Was it hurtful?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth…. Was it a disaster?
Isabella… Yes, no.
Seth…. Yes, of course, it was because you lost something you were looking forward to.
Isabella… Yes, but I wouldn’t catastrophize it as the same as that.
Seth…. Oh, it was at that point…
Isabella… At the time it was.
Seth…. of reference, it certainly was.
Isabella… Right.
Seth…. So, go ahead.
Isabella… So, would there have been a way that he could have done that morally at that point?
Seth…. Of course.
Isabella… How? How could that have been moral or ethical?
Seth…. First of all, if there was a question that he was so dissatisfied, he would have then said to you, let us hold off.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth…. Two, let us go to and I hate to use this word a “therapist” (Stephanie laughs.) or as individuals here know that after years a therapist and a pill pusher were totally incorrect in what they were doing.
Isabella… Em hmm. So, there was, okay so he could have gone about it differently.
Seth…. Could of or should of?
Isabella… Should have, however the outcome probably would have been the same.
Seth…. We’ll never know…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth…. because if you made a change and he made a change then your outcome is not the same.
Isabella… Right, okay, I understand.
Seth…. When one becomes so fearful, which is what you are dealing with, that one runs away that change is hurtful. Does that make more sense to you now?
Yes, Kaetorina?
Stephanie… No, I was just thinking in reviewing the points, if you follow these points for example within relationships, couples, marriages, friends, whatever that one would think you would always be living in harmony because… But think about it. If you are talking about change, let’s say arguing ethically then…
Seth…. Are you talking about for example if you would like to go into the city and William does not want to go into the city and…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth…. you are getting into argument about this, is that something you would…
Stephanie… Alright, so you are not going to be hurtful, right? You are going to be doing whatever in a fair manner.
Seth…. And the word “compromise” must be included in your judgment values.
Stephanie… Right, so that’s what I am just saying, I’m just reflecting saying that if you use these points within difficult change crossroads and relationships or whatever.
Seth…. Will your incarnation be better?
Stephanie… I would say.
Seth…. I would certainly hope so; I gave you the information. (Stephanie laughs.) How you choose to use it is of course up to you.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth…. So, what is your question?
Stephanie… Well, I don’t know if I really have one, but I just wanted to comment. When you said, you know that the idea of change is instantaneous, now I really understand that point. It’s really not, I mean change okay is instantaneous, literally, but the idea of the fact that you have been working up to that change…
Seth…. You may have not have even been aware that you are working up to it. See that is the fallacy.
Stephanie… Right, em hmm, so…
Seth…. It is the inspiration that comes in a flash. This is what I have to do, this is the way it is going to be, this is how I am going to change. I will not do this. I will do that. That change is instantaneous from the background of all the thoughts, efforts and ideas that you have had over this and on this particular subject.
Stephanie… Okay but when you don’t make a successful change then what has gone on with all those ideas, etc, etc?
Seth…. You were not ready.
Stephanie… Because you haven’t taken the information profitably?
Seth…. No, because you are not ready. It’s that simple.
Isabella… You only make the change when you are ready to make the change?
Seth…. Correct.
Isabella… So, you can have as much information as you need, you can have, sit in a therapy session, you can sit here, you can do whatever…
Seth…. Let me ask you a question. Let’s start with that.
Isabella… (Laughs.) Yes?
Seth…. Why do I ask you to type sessions?
Isabella… To learn.
Seth…. And how many of the three that you have…
Isabella… Two! I don’t know where you are coming up with three.
Seth…. Oh, I will eventually show you the third.
Isabella… Okay, because I only know of two. (Group laughter.)
Seth…. My question to you is, are they given to you for a good reason?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth…. Was it a fair reason?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth…. Was it to promote you?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth…. Then let’s ask a question, were you ready to do it?
Isabella… No.
Seth…. Did you not state clearly on two separate occasions that they would be done before the end of summer?
Isabella… I might have.
Seth…. Would you care to rephrase that?
Isabella… I definitely said that. (Group laughs.)
Seth…. What date is the end of summer?
Isabella… September 21st.
Seth…. Are they going to be done by September 21st?
Isabella… Both of them? Probably not.
Seth…. Will one of them be done?
Isabella… Hopefully! (Stephanie and then Isabella laugh.)
Seth…. Do you need a time limit to spur you on?
Isabella… No, no I don’t want a time limit.
Seth…. It is coming close.
Isabella… Okay. I understand that and I do understand that you do type, I know because it’s interesting when I have typed sessions from the past that I end up typing them when I need the information, so I do understand that.
Seth…. Is there anything else?
Stephanie… I just want to make a statement though, the idea of the readiness piece, if the answer is always readiness, the lack there of then you are talking about that’s where no judgments come? So, so…
Seth…. Should I judge you because you have made the same mistake as a therapist for the last two years?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) No but let’s talk about the…
Seth…. Should I judge you because you tried to force things down patient’s throats?
Stephanie… No, let’s talk about this sociopath for a second, like the murder, the racist and all that.
Seth…. You are dealing with a completely different set of values. You are dealing with someone, and I have explained this to you before where the switches are so open that the value judgments are not taking place. (Seth has explained that there are switches that moderate between the physical being and nonphysical reality. So, for example those individuals who have schizophrenia often have open switches where there is too much information coming through like a thousand radios playing. Others may have other issues from switches being too open or too closed. F.N.)
Stephanie… Okay so everyone other than those kinds of people deal with the idea of there not achieving…
Seth…. And even they deal with change because they want change in their way. They put themselves so first that everyone else doesn’t matter.
Stephanie… Okay, but the idea of making profitable change when it doesn’t occur, you would not say because they weren’t ready, you…
Seth…. Their change is perfect, they may have chosen that life, they may have gone ahead and planned out to be a sociopath or a mass murder or whatever and they lived a very successful life. You’re judging by your set of values. I opened this discussion up by stating if you are a prostitute in New York, you get put in jail, if you are a prostitute in Holland you earn a very nice living.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Right but we are not talking about the idea of, oh they have achieved what they set out to do. I’m talking about on the physical plane they are not being…
Seth…. They achieved what they set out to do. Are they following…
Stephanie… They are not following the ethical standards of society. (Isabella said something that was not audible.) So, none of this would apply to those people.
Seth…. That’s why their change is not ethical because they do harm.
Stephanie… Right, so… so…
Seth…. What is your problem?
Stephanie… So, I am stating because they have this difficulty, you’re still applying the idea that they are not ready to learn what’s more profitable and they continue on this path?
Seth…. Their readiness to learn is based upon what their life lessons and plans were, which may not have anything to do with what you are talking about.
Stephanie… So then how does this apply to them then?
Isabella… He says it doesn’t because…
Seth…. I am saying that some of it applies, some of it doesn’t. Just as I could go through these five points, and I could show you numerous examples where it didn’t apply to you.
Stephanie… It doesn’t, it wouldn’t apply?
Seth…. Parts of it do not apply to you. (Isabella is laughing and Stephanie laughs in what sounds like a frustrated but amused manner.)
Would you like an airing?
Stephanie… A what?
Seth…. An airing of your faults
Stephanie… (Laughs.) No that’s okay. We’re good on the faults subject.
Seth…. I believe we are about finished with that. Are there any other questions after your statements?
Isabella… I have a question, it’s off topic though.
Seth…. Anybody on topic?
Frank… Yeah, I’ll make a question/comment. So, the idea of being fair to self and kind to self would involve accepting one’s readiness?
Seth…. And one’s faults.
Frank… Why are you throwing that extra in there?
Seth…. Because you need it.
Frank… One needs to accept one’s faults?
Seth…. You can’t make a change without fault, why would you change something that is good?
Frank… You have to accept what you are, that’s the same thing.
Seth…. No, it’s not but it’s okay.
Frank… (Laughs.) Okay.
Seth…. Are there any other questions?
Frank… I have a question about a patient that somewhat fits in. A woman that I have mentioned before who really really was abused and hates self and she has an aspect of self that she even fights with, she’s punched herself, she calls it a very derisive kind of name. It almost seems, well it does seem actually that her hate is taking the form of a sub-personality. Is that a realistic assumption on my part and then what… I would imagine that you work with this just as you work with anything else with kindness and trying to move that part of that person along?
Seth…. One must get… the first thing that one must do is learn to love and enjoy themselves. You have to undo the fact that they were so abused that they hate themselves. Obvious I am a bad person because they did this and this and this to me.
Frank… Yes, I understand that, but she is getting attacked by herself at the same time and…
Seth…. Of course, she is because if you are abused and you are not a good person you deserve to be punished and who best to punish you then you.
Frank… But that part of self is being objectified and even almost sort of not of self.
Seth…. I understand what you are saying, and I have given you the answer whether you choose to accept it or not is vastly different.
Frank… I just want to make sure that I am saying it right.
Seth…. No, you’re not. (Frank is laughing.) You are bumping into a tree, you are walking the wrong way, you have information over here and you say, I’m going to go over here! Try over here.
Frank… Okay.
Stephanie… I want to ask a question about my son Peter, he had to do an assignment to put pictures on his little journal and I presented him with pictures whatever.
Seth…. Why did you do it? Presenting him with a picture, shouldn’t he be the one to find them?
Stephanie… No.
Seth…. Why?
Stephanie… Because they were mixed in with four hundred baby pictures. I took out pictures, laid them out and he picked out what he wanted. But I was concerned about it because he didn’t want me, he didn’t want Natalie, he didn’t want the cat, he only wanted his father and I don’t know, just sports. You know, he is concerned about how others, he worries about what he will look like to others. So, I don’t know whether he’s felt like the family, like if he promoted the family in his book that would be embarrassing?
Seth…. Who’s he trying to be?
Stephanie… Bill. So that’s what bothered me. (Group laughs loudly and then Stephanie giggles.) You know because how does he; it bothered me in and of itself.
Seth…. Do you understand the reason for the not coaching?
Stephanie… Ye-ah.
Seth…. This is all part of the same thing.
Stephanie… But he doesn’t appreciate me. He doesn’t appreciate Natalie…
Seth…. It matters not.
Stephanie… He doesn’t hold us in any esteem at all?
Seth…. You don’t… what you are doing is you are trying to say, I’m kind, I’m nice, I’m loving, he should appreciate it. And what I am saying to you is, he has learned the idea that to get his father’s approval to get the necessity of being what he chooses to be from his father, he will just honor his father. That will eventually change.
Stephanie… Yeah, that was very disturbing to me because I knew that. So, but even…
Seth…. See, I wasn’t even there, and I knew that. (Stephanie laughs.)
Stephanie… at the detriment though of his being able to appreciate the others around him?
Seth…. Right now, he is so enmeshed in pleasing the father that he has no choice.
Stephanie… Oh. Alright. Are there any other things besides what Bill has done whatever that could assist him in reversing it?
Seth…. Time.
Stephanie… Oh.
Seth…. Is there anything else?
Let me leave you with this: To effect an ethical change one must make their needs paramount. Follow the five ideas and when you become full you will find that your wants are gone. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Relationships and the Family Community (Including a Family Argument!)
Tuesday August12, 2008
8:25 PM
Seth… Good evening. Pleasure to have you here with us this evening. Under some house keeping ideas or statements: Before anybody has the necessity to ask, the reason for the man through whom I speak had his problems, obvious because one never has any difficulties unless you create them yourself. Second, the reason that it is both eyes were now affected is as he has stated he keeps thinking of a gentleman called George Josephson who had both eyes affected therefore he created in the same way. That should answer all questions on that particular subject.
Moving along, I am going to speak this evening about the idea of relationships. It is quite obvious that all who sit around the table this evening have major defects when it comes to relationship issues. First relationship anyone has is of course with self. To put this as gently as we can, none of you have even have a passing relationship with yourself that one might call prosperous since all of you suffer and are truly selfish with your relationship issues in general. When one lives in a family community the idea of exclusion is important. Each of you tends to exclude the requirements of others. You become self centered and seek only for self. Are you the individual who becomes so wrapped up within themselves that you tend to focus on problem solving instead of focusing on larger issues? Are you the individual who has no true sense of give and take? If I do this, you must do that. You seek an equal balance at all times. Are you the individual when faced with adversity chooses to exclude and then push away individuals who do not meet your expectations? Are you the individual who had little or no tolerance for other’s errors in judgment? Do you criticize without thinking? These type of relationship issues plague mature souls. When given advice how often do you follow that advice but look to do as little as you can in improving yourself? The lie here to self is obvious, “I am doing so much but you do not see it or appreciate it.” An example of this is easily seen in the relationship issues between Jasmine and Isabella. The advice that I had given was meant to be a stabilizing influence between the two warring parties! I had suggested that Isabella write down the things she does so that others may notice. If one could look at the idea of promoting a relationship, that list should include events that were taken on by Isabella that were not asked for by another. That list should include the idea of an acknowledgement by the other for the extra effort that had been brought forth. It is not enough to become repetitious in a communal environment since it fosters a dependency on that particular individual.
Jasmine… I don’t really understand that.
Seth… Simply put, let us assume that the man through whom I speak routinely makes your coffee every morning. If that occurs routinely one expects that individual to do that and it leads quite often to the unfortunate fact that individuals become annoyed or bothered when that individual does not fulfill his perceived actions.
Jasmine… I understand what you are saying yet I feel that in many homes certain jobs, for example, are generally taken on by one party or the other. For example, the wife will do the grocery shopping. The husband will take out the garbage.
Seth… That’s not what I said, you are interpreting this in a very linear, strict fashion.
Jasmine… You said, it’s not enough to become repetitious in a communal environment since it fosters a dependency on that particular individual, and you gave the example of Jerry always making the coffee.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… So, isn’t that the same as a wife who always does the grocery shopping?
Seth… Yes, but that still doesn’t answer your problem. Your problem is simply this: that if the wife who is doing the grocery shopping needs assistance because she cannot there is nothing wrong with the husband saying, I know you cannot, I will. But that shouldn’t be made, well I can’t do it today and I can’t do it tomorrow and I can’t do it the next day.
Jasmine… Who on the husband?
Seth… Of the wife, the wife’s part.
Jasmine… The wife’s part?
Seth… For the husband to say, I know you are going to be busy, I will help you out in this instance. There has to be a flexibility between all members of a community. Where there is no flexibility there is anger.
Isabella… Can I ask a question?
Seth… Let me finish one statement and then, yes. The perception of being made into a victim is due to the fact that that individual perceives themselves as being forced to do things against their will. So, they rebel and do not do things in a timely manner fostering our other individual to “pick on them.”
Jasmine… Could you hold on a minute? Perception of being made into a victim is due to the fact that that individual feels forced into doing things against their will. That’s all I got.
Stephanie… So, they rebel and do not do things in a timely manner fostering our other individual to “Pick on them.”
Seth… An example of prevention here may be seen in the idea that Shirley Sara and her husband Louis (Jerry’s parents) presented many years ago. It was simple but certainly effective. If you are first on the scene and a job has to be done. Do it and do not complain about the fact that you did it. Seek no accolades from this type of action. In a communal setting no one should demand approval from others.
Isabella… May I ask my question now?
Seth… One second, one more sentence and you may ask your question.
Look at the concept of change and see how it fits in with this material. Go ahead.
Isabella… So, in the idea of the sugar that I left out on the counter, obviously not on purpose, by accident I left it on the counter and Mom came in and saw it and instead of putting it away she waited until it obviously was bothering her that it was there then just to proceed to tell me to put the sugar away. So, she was first on scene, should she have just put the sugar away if it was a simple mistake of me leaving it out?
Seth… Whose responsibility, was it?
Isabella… To put it away? Mine, but I forgot.
Seth… How long was the sugar out?
Isabella… Less then…
Seth… You will give me a moment… go ahead.
Isabella… One day. Yeah, one day. I used it today this morning.
Seth… That sugar was out there by my viewpoint for two and a half days.
Isabella… No, it was not out for two and a half days.
Seth… It absolutely was.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… But that still isn’t the issue. Let us assume that you wanted the sugar out there for whatever reason you had.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And of course, it matters not, did you state to Jasmine, “Please leave this here I will remove it or put it back because I know it is my responsibility.”
Isabella… I didn’t state that, no.
Seth… If you had stated that she has no problem.
Isabella… I completely disagree.
Seth… Excuse me, you have asked in a communal setting…
Isabella… She would not want it left there, even if I wanted it out, she would not want it out.
Seth… If you stated, please do this for me because I need it here for the following reasons, whatever that reason may have been.
Isabella… So then basically what you are saying about being the first on the scene is not true.
Seth… It is true. For example, if you see a large dust on the floor.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you routinely pick it up?
Isabella… Do I routinely pick it up if I see dust?
Seth… Dog hair?
Isabella… If I see dog… if I created it? Yes.
Seth… No. Whose dog lives in the house?
Isabella… My dog.
Seth… Whose dog lives in the house?
Jasmine… Her dog.
Seth… Wrong, all of yours. Both of you are incorrect. That dog is part of a communal setting. So, if you see dog hair and dust on the floor whether you caused it…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… or not. Whose responsibility should it become to clean it up, vacuum it up or do something?
Isabella… the person who sees it.
Seth… Correct. That’s being first on the scene.
Isabella… Okay, but that’s not how things get played out here. If Mom…
Seth… Excuse me.
Isabella… sees hair on the floor she’ll say Isabella there is hair in the living room go pick it up.
Jasmine… Only because you pulled it out and left it there.
Isabella… He’s saying it doesn’t matter.
Jasmine… No, you pulled it out and left it there after I had vacuumed several times.
Seth… If you did it then it’s your responsibility to do it.
Jasmine… If you pull out the dog hair, please clean it up.
Isabella… But now what if I, what if I… I forgot.
Seth… If you forget…
Isabella… Like what if I just, we were all playing, we were just sitting there, she’s running around, and I completely didn’t remember that I pulled out a piece of hair at the time.
Seth… If you just forgot, then it is your responsibility to say I’m sorry I just forgot.
Isabella… Okay so then she should leave it until I… (The phone rings and Jasmine answers it, Frank says something to Isabella that is not clear.) Well obviously, she feels badly enough to the point where she’s got to point it out to me.
Seth… But again, you’re shirking your responsibility by saying somebody else sees it.
Isabella… I’m not shirking responsibility.
Seth… Certainly, you are.
Isabella… No, I am absolutely not, that’s fine but I… but my idea is if something is there then you take care of it regardless of who’s it is.
Seth… Except you do not do this.
Isabella… That’s not true; I clean up (for) my father everyday. I clean up my father’s stuff every single day.
Seth… That argument is not pertinent.
Isabella… Why? He leaves his stuff out all the time. Why is that not pertinent?
Seth… He is responsible for himself.
Isabella… But he doesn’t so we do it for him.
Seth… No, excuse me. There is no excuse for that.
Isabella… Okay but it is what it is. I mean this is who he is, he leaves his mugs, he leaves his plates, he leaves his pans out, he leaves whatever and I do it every day. So why is it that if someone sees a piece of dog hair on the floor and it’s bothering somebody so much why is it a big deal?
Seth… If we have to weigh and measure everything that goes on in any familiar situation; there are people who tend to do more…
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… and there are people who tend to do less.
Isabella… Obviously.
Seth… You do not measure what you do for someone else about what you should being doing for yourself. This is a self issue.
Jasmine… I have to say one thing. In the context of the dog hair…
Isabella… Em.
Jasmine… that you pull out…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Jasmine… have I asked you to take care of that when you do it?
Isabella… Yes, and you don’t even know how much hair I pull out.
Jasmine… So, the point I am making is when I saw this little file in the living room, I simply said to you, Isabella when you have a chance go clean up that hair.
Isabella… And I did without a problem.
Jasmine… So, was there anything wrong with the way I asked you?
Isabella… No, I was just using it as an example as to first person on the scene.
Jasmine… But if this something I have brought to your attention, if you are going to pull the dog’s hair out you need to be the one to take it right away and clean it up.
Isabella… I obviously understand that but maybe something happened where people were in the living room, and I forgot! So, this is where your problem of me not being perfect is an issue. If I forgot one time of the million and a half times that I pick up dog hair out of her which is at least eighty times a day and in every single room in the house the one time I forget it’s like you harp on me about it.
Seth… Now therein is a situation that should have been written down on your list or comment made by Jasmine. In other words, I have asked you to pull dog hair out, you did not, I did it for you. You want a weight and balance situation.
Isabella… But she doesn’t do it so then she’ll bring it up to me.
Seth… Excuse me, how long ago did I tell you to keep an accurate list of that which you do?
Isabella… A long time ago.
Seth… And how long has it been since you’ve done it?
Isabella… A very long time.
Seth… Please tell me who is at fault?
Isabella… Me.
Seth… I have no other comment to make on that particular subject because it makes no sense. If you are not willing to a) write it down, b) see a comment and remember what bothers you most is the repetition of asking.
Isabella… I don’t know if it is the repetition of asking…
Seth… Of course, it is.
Isabella… that bothers me…
Seth… Of course, it is.
Isabella… or if it is the idea of…
Seth… It is the repetition of someone asking…
Isabella… I don’t blame if someone told me to do something and I forget to do it…
Seth… You are still misunderstanding, stop! Repetition of asking (Seth raps on the table to indicate to take notes) literally means being reminded to do any number of specific tasks. One tends to resent someone saying, “Please take out the garbage, please water the flowers, please cut the grass, please pick up the dry cleaning.” It is not a specific item such as, I told you to pick up the dry cleaning, what happened? I just forgot. And the next day, I thought you said you were going to get the dry cleaning? Ah, I can’t believe I forgot it. How come you didn’t pick up the dry cleaning, it’s three days now. You know something I just can’t get it into my head, I’m sorry. At that point the first person is angry that our second individual is not listening, our second individual feels that they are being nagged and pushed into doing things because they legitimately forgot. So, no matter which scenario you use it is the repetition of being asked that is the problem. And the way you do that is very simple…
Jasmine… The way you fix that?
Seth… Yes. When someone asks you to so something you must immediately do it. Obviously, you can’t immediately at ten o’clock at night to get the dry cleaning unless you happen to have a twenty-four-hour Dry Cleaners.
Isabella… But what if it’s a million things?
Seth… So what? Are they your responsibility?
Isabella… Some yes, some no.
Seth… Well, if the ones are not your responsibility, did you say, well how come you are asking me to do this, it’s not my responsibility. I didn’t do this.
Isabella… Yeah, I’ve asked that and then I get yelled at about the fact that I am not helping and assisting in the house.
Seth… Well, let me give you a good example of an idea that happened just this evening and should not have happened.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… When your evening supper was over, (Seth rapped on the table to indicate note taking,) you immediately cleaned up only for you.
Isabella… Well everyone was still eating.
Seth… Why did you leave the table?
Isabella… Because I went to take medicine for my head.
Seth… So, you took the medicine, did you come immediately downstairs?
Isabella… I laid down for a few minutes because I thought I was going to throw up.
Seth… Excuse me.
Isabella… I was not trying to get out of cleaning. I was legitimately, was feeling…
Seth… Excuse me, we’re not saying that you did feel well or didn’t feel well. I am saying very simply you walked away from the table…
Isabella… I unclear, I sat there.
Seth… and…
Isabella… Mom said go get some Tylenol.
Seth… and…
Isabella… Go take some pills.
Seth… Are you finished?
Isabella… I’m just explaining what happened.
Seth… I understand what happened. I’m more understanding than you could ever possibly ever imagine.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… But you did not say, I still don’t feel well, I’m going to lie down, please excuse me from helping.
Isabella… No, I didn’t do that.
Seth… No, and therefore it was your responsibility to say that. Therefore, the four others looked at you as the fact that you shirked your responsibility.
Isabella… Well, my responsibility is supposedly to take care of my stuff.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… That is what we have been discussing in the last couple of days that I didn’t take care of my things. I took care of my things.
Seth… Did you tell anyone else?
Isabella… Ah… they all saw me take my stuff. I cleaned up my things.
Seth… That means that no one else should do anything for you but their stuff and leave you alone.
Isabella… Well, that’s, that is what we decided to do.
Seth… Absolutely not.
Jasmine… No, you said that.
Isabella… No? You said this to me yesterday.
Seth… Excuse me. You may work this between you later. But if you’re living in a communal setup, you cannot and should not only take care of yourself. That is the reason why I state to you very clearly and in a strong tone, “Do not leave this home!” Both of you, you and you, (Indicating Jasmine and Isabella.) must learn how to live in a communal setting. And you are not doing it!
Jasmine… There’s another piece here. Isabella doesn’t understand that when I ask her to do something like simply to take her, she uses the recyclable shopping bags for her shopping, to please take them to her car. They had been hanging on the doorknob for four or five days, she was angry. I mentioned…
Seth… Excuse me…
Jasmine… you’ve been on me all day.
Seth… Were those bags annoying you?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Take them upstairs and put them in her room. You don’t have to… You do not have to go ahead and become so angry and upset that you now make yourself a victim and then try to make her one.
Jasmine… If you’re asking me to do that then we will fall right back into the pattern we were in all year long which was that she leaves her shoes here and I take them upstairs.
Seth… No…
Jasmine… She leaves her pocketbook here; I take it upstairs…
Seth… Whose responsibility is it?
Jasmine… She leaves her mail here; I take it upstairs…
Seth… It is very simple…
Jasmine… She leaves her shopping bags here; I take it upstairs…
Seth… Are you finished?
Jasmine… And that is not going to continue because…
Seth… Excuse me…
Jasmine… it has made me very angry.
Seth… Are you finished? Are you finished? You can get as angry as you want but none of this (Unclear.) did you take up your shoes, no you did not. Well very simple, take the shoes and put them out on the porch so you don’t see them. There are many ways that you could do this without you getting angry. You don’t have to clean up after her. What you have to do is promote yourself.
Jasmine… It is cleaning up. If I have to move her shoes from here and move them to the porch, that’s cleaning up after her.
Seth… Oh, which is better, please show me which is better.
Jasmine… Upstairs is saying to Isabella; please bring your shoes upstairs.
Seth… And it is her responsibility to do it immediately; I’ve already stated that…
Jasmine… That’s right!
Seth… However, if she does not do that and you said it once you very nicely are going to say, the second time if you don’t so this, I’m going to take them and put them out on the porch. I’ll throw them out; I’ll do whatever I want with them because you’re not fulfilling your responsibilities.
Jasmine… Well, that’s basically what I said over the last day or so. But Isabella, I had asked her to take the dog’s collar and leash, not to leave them anymore on the kitchen table, to leave them, when she uses them on the white table out there. And so, then she took them off the table, I thought she had taken them there but then I saw them on the stairs. (Isabella said something.) So, a day or two later I said, Isabella, by the way you never took the chain and the leash out (Not clear but something about Isabella keeping it outside.) Fine! That’s the way…
Seth… Satisfactory resolution?
Jasmine… I expect it to be. I don’t expect her to get angry if I ask her to take something…
Seth… That’s her problem; do not make her problems yours.
Jasmine… Because I said to her since you are going out that way anyway go in your car take the garbage bag.
Isabella… But Mom…
Jasmine… What was wrong with that?
Isabella… Because I just woke up, it’s the first thing that you say to me in the morning is an order. The first thing you say to me is something to do. Isabella do this, Isabella do this, Isabella do this.
Jasmine… You were walking out the door.
Isabella… It doesn’t matter. Every day it’s the same thing. I wake up, Isabella do this, bring you shoes upstairs, do this, it’s every single day that’s all I hear from you.
Seth… But whose responsibility was it Isabella?
Isabella… It’s mine.
Jasmine… This is not just something that started a day or two ago! (Jasmine continues.)
Seth… You cannot win this argument Isabella since it was your responsibility not to leave them there in the beginning.
Isabella… I’m not trying to win or lose. I’m just saying what the dynamic of what’s happening.
Seth… But you cannot be annoyed or bothered when somebody says to you, you did not do this.
Isabella… If she said to me, how are you feeling this morning, okay?
Seth… That’s a different story.
Isabella… Okay? How are you doing this morning instead of the first thing I hear every single day that I wake up, it’s something to do.
Seth… Well, that’s…
Isabella… When she speaks that’s all I hear.
Seth… Because that’s what you hear.
Isabella… That is all I hear.
Seth… Well, let’s (Bickering between Jasmine and Isabella continues.) Excuse me both; I will separate both of you into two different rooms. Let us understand one thing.
Isabella… Why would I stay here in this environment? It is so much easier for me to move out.
Seth… Because you will learn nothing, and you will have the same problem with your husband.
Isabella… Well then, I guess I’ll have to learn then.
Seth… No, you will not, you will go through another divorce. (Isabella said something in disagreement.) Excuse me; my perceptions are far better than yours. (Isabella mumbling.). I give you fair warning.
Stephanie… You wouldn’t be so angry with your mom when she asks you something even if she does do it right in the morning had you been doing things regularly. You wouldn’t be hearing her voice in this way, and it would be an exception.
Isabella… I do feel like I do things regularly and I feel like I do, do so much.
Seth… Where is your list, please?
Isabella… I don’t. I’m not writing everything down.
Seth… Well please show me how that is profitable.
Isabella… If I wrote down every single thing that I did in this house it would be a three-page list every single day.
Seth… And so, what would be so terrible?
Isabella… It’s annoying.
Seth… Oh! So, you would rather have other people’s perception of what you do or do not do become more important than what you actually do?
Isabella… I guess not. I just feel like I am a guest in my parents’ house.
Seth… Because you are making yourself a guest.
Isabella… No, I am not.
Seth… Yes, you are.
Isabella… I’m not making myself a…
Seth… You certainly are. I’m not. (Isabella said something about Jasmine making her a guest.) No, no one can make you do anything. You create it. You create it. You take responsibility for your own creations. If you leave the shoes down there and she gets annoyed you created it.
Isabella… Yeah, well how…
Seth… If you make a list and prove how much or how little you are doing, they have nothing to say. Do they?
Isabella… I’m sure there will be something.
Seth… You don’t know that.
Isabella… They’ll do the one thing I forgot to do.
Seth… Then you can say I’m entitled to one thing.
Isabella… No, I’m not entitled to one thing. That’s the problem.
Stephanie… Because she asks you for one thing or many or several?
Isabella… It depends.
Stephanie… I mean she rattles off a list of three. If you were doing it all she wouldn’t be rattling off.
Isabella… Guess what! This is who I am. I forget things. I am not a person who remembers all the time. So, if I moved this from there to here and it wasn’t in my line of vision, I forgot! And I did it. She asked me to do it and oh shit, right I forgot, and I put it away. That was legitimate.
Stephanie… But things are here for days. It’s not just that you’re remiss for an hour or one day. So, it’s in your vision. It’s something that you’d (unclear…)
Isabella… Obviously not if I didn’t see them. There are a pair of shoes in the den that I left; I must have been on the phone, okay? I didn’t remember that I left them in there. I took them off and as soon as I got off the phone I got up, I walked around, I went upstairs, I did whatever. I didn’t remember that they were in there until the point when she said to me…
Jasmine… In the den? I didn’t see anything in the den.
Isabella… Not in the den, in the living room. Until the point when she said to me, Isabella, you have to go downstairs; you left your shoes in the den. Oh my god, okay, I forgot. I didn’t even realize that I took them off.
Jasmine… It wasn’t there they were right in the opening of…
Isabella… Yeah, but I wear them every single day.
Jasmine… Does that mean they live in the living room?
Isabella… No but I (unclear) just to go back outside.
Jasmine… No, they were there for that (unclear…)
Isabella… Absolutely not, I wear those shoes every single day.
Jasmine… Isabella, look you can say what…
Isabella… Your exaggerating!
Jasmine… I’m not exaggerating…
Isabella… You are, you are, Mom.
Jasmine… I watched those shoes there and I wondered when you would notice that they were there. So, I wouldn’t have to say, Isabella could you pick your shoes up.
Isabella… But I wear them every single day so it’s not even possible what you’re saying. It’s not. I wear them every day. (Jasmine sighs.) It’s not possible what you’re saying. You probably saw them for a day…
Seth… Let us move along.
Isabella… Because everything is an issue.
Seth… Let’s move along.
Isabella… It’s like you don’t let people live in your house.
Jasmine… If you could only stop thinking that you’re the only one that’s right and if you could open your mind…
Isabella… I don’t think I’m the only one that’s right. I will admit when I make mistakes…
Jasmine… Open your mind to the fact…
Isabella… You expect perfection from everybody, and nobody is perfect!
Jasmine… Believe me I don’t expect…
Isabella… Yeah, you did. Yes, you do.
Jasmine… All I expect is certain things.
Isabella… You expect perfection.
Seth… Let us go back to my original point…
Isabella… You expect perfection.
Seth… When you (Jasmine talking over), excuse me, Jasmine. The argument the both of you’re having serves no useful purpose. Isabella…
Isabella… Yup.
Seth… Are you going to make the list?
Isabella… Yup.
Seth… Then this portion of the subject is now officially closed in terms of your handling each other.
Isabella… No, there’s other things that need to be decided. There are other things that need to be discussed.
Seth… You may work that out between both of you. This lecture is not meant as a problem-solving situation in one evening.
Isabella… Well, I don’t think it’s possible that we sit down together and make (unclear) and solve this.
Seth… Well then of course you would choose to be unhappy and aggravated and bothered, that’s perfectly acceptable with me. Let us take a break.
(Both Jerry and Stephanie are speaking to Isabella as Seth came in. There are more feelings here and words that have been edited out. It is felt that there is already enough material here for the reader to get the sense of a family argument and how Seth responded.) Let us continue: Are there any other questions?
Frank… (Frank sighs.) I am almost afraid to ask about my house. (Stephanie giggles at the attempt to lighten the atmosphere.) In terms of this material and the fact that I allow Cyndi to take an inordinate amount of responsibility in regards to the children, what would be the first steps to try and improve our community situation?
Seth… Well, it is very simple, take some responsibility. Don’t analyze the situation, do it. I want to do this, and I would like to do this, I would like to do that. If you don’t choose to take responsibility do you have any?
Frank… No.
Seth… I believe you have answered your own question. Anything else? Go ahead.
Frank… In terms of the material from the previous session… (Jasmine had left and returned.)
Seth… One other small statement, Jasmine, your feelings about Isabella’s living here, are very obvious to her.
Jasmine… It isn’t true.
Seth… That is absolutely true. I give you this as knowledge; you may use it or not use it at your own discretion. (Jasmine’s response was unclear.) Understand you cannot have everything in the way in which you perceive you want it when you want it. You have absolutely little or no tolerance for delay whether it be from yourself or saying something to someone else. This is information you require. Go ahead.
Frank… In terms of the idea of, the previous session from two weeks ago, three weeks ago, the chains of the yolk and getting free from the yolk of the past, I’m still having a lot of difficulty with that and…
Seth… Where are you living?
Frank… Northport?
Seth… No.
Frank… In the past.
Seth… Yes, why aren’t you living in the now? The greatest point of power is now. When you change your now your future changes and your past accommodates it.
Frank… Living now means, why do I go with these thoughts?
Seth… Of what was.
Frank… Well, I’m not sure why I’m doing that because I’m having a hard time stopping that.
Seth… Because you are over analyzing things as you usually do.
Frank… I just did it with reading it’s almost getting like perseveration and I’m having trouble stopping it.
Seth… Don’t start it.
Frank… That’s not so easy when you find yourself in it.
Seth… When you find yourself in it stop it and walk away.
Frank… When I spoke to Jerry about just the idea of stop, observe and don’t invest anything into it,that’s the same thing? Correct?
Seth… Correct.
Frank… I just move on to another activity.
Seth… Correct. For example, you play a basketball game…
Frank… Sure.
Seth… And you let your opponent get by you and he makes a basket (Pronounced like basget.)
Frank… Right, you move on.
Seth… Do you concentrate on that basket (basget) routinely?
Frank… (Frank is laughing) I love the pronunciation; no, I make the “basget.”
Seth… Therefore?
Frank… You move on to the next…
Seth… Issue. So, you are routinely already go ahead and let things go.
Frank… With other things. Use those other things as a model.
Seth… Correct. (The telephone rang and Jasmine answered.) Go ahead.
Frank… I don’t know, I just think there’s an aspect where I’m choosing to or I desire to be self-punitive so I continue.
Seth… Say hello to Jasmine, does the same thing.
Frank… And intellectually I know it but then it’s very difficult to stop.
Seth… So, it is very difficult to stop.
Frank… I understand, I had a conversation with Jerry.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Do you know what the triggers are? If you would know the triggers maybe it would help you to not go there in the first place.
Frank… You mean like what’s the missed basket?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Right.
Frank… Um… anything that I might feel, actually anything that I would then judge as a mistake.
Jasmine… Anything as what?
Frank… Anything that I would judge as a mistake; if I was cross, if I said something, if I didn’t do something I am supposed to do, it’s a mistake.
Seth… Then you beat yourself up for days, days, days and days instead of saying…
Frank… It compounds.
Seth… Instead of saying to the person, gee I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have done that and then move along. You don’t do that.
Frank… No.
(Jasmine said something that was too soft to hear on tape.)
Seth… Let us not get into a psychological (Frank laughs) procedure here at this point.
Frank… I, ah.
Seth… You may not answer that question. (Stephanie laughs.) Are there any other questions? Then let me leave you with this: to make proper change, the first issue in relationships is that of understanding self, your needs were met, and your wants lessened. A pleasant evening to all.
Seth… Pleasure to have some of you with us this evening. A little housekeeping here, Jasmine, how’s the typing doing?
Jasmine… Very badly.
Seth… Let me put it to you this way, you have exactly two weeks to finish because you do not want to let this go because this is an important session for you, and you must take responsibility for that which you do or do not do. How’s the typing going, Isabella? (Isabella giggling.)
Isabella … Fabulous.
Seth… You haven’t started on either session.
Isabella… Correct, but I am reading! I’m reading, I’m reading, I’m reading.
Seth… You have not started typing either session, please start.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… How are the numbers going? (The idea of “The Numbers” is an exercise to strengthen and develop psychic ability with a partner where each partner will think of a number one to ten during the day and later check the accuracy with the partner.)
Isabella… They’re going.
Seth… They are not.
Isabella… Yes, they are.
Seth… Other than the fact that you both sort of remembered today and yesterday was more of a I’ll just throw out numbers and see if I can hit anything type of day.
Stephanie… I did get one, I got the seven!
Seth… Congratulations.
Stephanie… And a number.
Seth… Congratulations, total luck. Let’s try to do what you are supposed to do. Let us start.
If you have money and you want to make this money grow you invest it. You have an interest in promoting that which you as an individual desires. No one would even casually invest in what they know is a losing proposition. Yet for many the investment to lead and enjoy an incarnation is at best a hit and miss situation. How often are each of you guilty of saying I have done this before. This seems familiar to me. How does one justify their investment in repeatable losing ventures? When one continually chooses to make investments that cannot “payoff” you literally tell the universe I have not learned my lesson and in doing so you promote your own unhappiness. Change occurs when you realize that your investment in another is always inferior to an investment in yourself. The idea of if only I had said this, if only I had done that clearly demonstrates a position that causes one to be dragged from center stage and placed in a supportive role. Do you not see that each of you places themselves in a position where first you have no control over events and second your ability to assist others is compromised by your own inability to invest properly in self? The question arises when someone says, how come I don’t deserve that? Why don’t I get that? These statements are a clear indication that you are in a supportive role. You are not the star of your own play. You watch events pass by and hunger for that which you do not have. (Jasmine asked for assistance with dictation and received it.)
Isabella… You know I spoke… May I just ask a question? I spoke to my father about that today. When I was saying that I was feeling down and you know I was trying to talk myself out of that whole idea of, oh I’m thirty and I don’t have a husband and whatnot. And my father said that it’s normal to have those emotions and those feelings.
Seth… Having a feeling, having an emotion, having a thought about something that you do not have is quite factual. If you did not have these thoughts or feelings or desires you would be stagnant.
Isabella… Okay, okay. So, having those thoughts pushes you towards change?
Seth… Having a thought of something that you do not enjoy that you would like to change moves you in a direction of being able to change.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Your investment here is based on the want principle. A parent will clearly state, I want my child to have the best. I want my child to succeed. All these type of statements when allowed to go forward without an intervening process causes an individual to become so invested in what they believe are the needs of others makes them a victim first of themselves and second as our example of the (parent with the) child clearly shows of their play. Let us use a simple example, the man through whom I speak for years has said that he wanted to become a physician. When given the opportunity to study abroad he refused. His father who was so caught up in the play itself become so enraged that he did not speak to the man through whom I speak for six months.
Now… (There was someone talking.) Are we finished speaking?
Now, these situations routinely show that an investment in another cannot succeed. Another example here that clearly demonstrates how foolish this idea, or procedures are may be seen in Kaetorina’s husband William. William was foolhardy enough to become so enraptured and then invested in his bosses’ words and promises that he literally sold himself to this individual. What did he obtain for his efforts? Aggravation, an inferiority complex that grew tremendously, a desire to please unnecessarily and a lack of self-worth that still dragged him from his greatest point of power. Each of you know individuals who follow in this same path. Our therapists routinely see investment in others as a clear example of individuals who have no or at best low self-esteem. Therefore, the question arises what may I do when I find myself in this type of a situation? The first thing one must ask is this a repeatable offense. And let us for a moment assume that it is. Now the second question that one must ask is that since this is a repeatable offense why am I being pushed into this course of action? What profit will my investment in these actions give me? How do I benefit if I continue along this line? Those are the questions one must ask in order to divert yourself from becoming invested in this or anyone else’s play. (Stephanie asked to repeat dictation and Jasmine did.) If I cannot gain by giving “my money” then why proceed?
This is not to state that a desire for another to succeed is not proper. In fact, the more advanced you are the greater the desire to have someone else to succeed in any endeavor becomes paramount to your feelings of self-worth. You will notice here that the idea of jealousy may easily be seen in this type of behavior. The what about me situation is clearly demonstrated when jealously is added into an investment opportunity. How often do you hear that gamblers for the most part tell you about their huge winnings? Do they hold on to the winnings or is it more routine that they give back their investment! What have you done to bring yourself back to your greatest point of power when you find yourself walking along a road that leads to disaster? Is it not factual that for most your investment in disaster is more important than your investment in success, self or the promotion of others is, period. How often do you feel that you are alone, and no one understands that which you are going through? So, I ask each of you, are you truly alone? Is there no source of help available to you? Do you meditate? Do you find ways around difficult situations, or do you become so disappointed that your investment has once again failed?
Change occurs here when you decide that it is necessary for you as an individual to proceed differently than you have with similar past situations. You are therefore telling the universe and more importantly yourself that you are ready to change your perceptions of even the most difficult problems. How often do each of you repeat to yourself or someone else the same problem? As an example, here, I am so tired, I am so weary, I thought by now I would be further along, I thought my life would be different. How do these questions assist you in an investment in yourself? The answer is they do not. They only promote loss and becoming inferior to the situation itself. You cannot succeed in driving a car if the windshield is black and you have on a blindfold, yet this is what you do when you blind yourself to new open areas of discovery that are always waiting for you as an individual.
(Isabella must have left and come back in.) They will read it to you later Isabella.
The investment in self if done properly allows you to see yourself clearly and it will assist you in gathering information so that your decisions become clear.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue: Two things under a little bit of housekeeping that I shall deal very briefly with. First, I am going to encourage each of you to answer many, many, many questions. In fact, tell the man through whom I speak he is typing this session. Kaetorina you may certainly help him.
Isabella… You wrote that down so fast! Yay! You were like Jerry typing. (Stephanie is laughing.) (Session is being typed in February of 2015 by F.N. although Jerry will certainly assist in editing it.)
Seth… And second of all tell the man through whom I speak that his eye difficulty will pass without too much of an incident so it should alleviate any great anxiety on his part.
That being stated: A change of position if you will, you’ve clearly seen when an individual loses a spouse either through natural processes meaning the…
Jasmine… Death.
Seth… spouse has ended their incarnation. There is no such thing as death. Why don’t you leave that word permanently out of your vocabulary? Or the dissolutionment of a joining meaning the end of a marriage or a union. Males do not fare as well as females since they are more needy in terms of day-to-day practicalities of living. Yet they are far more adventurous in dealing with the social aspects of their own particular environment.
Jasmine… In other words, they don’t fare as well as females for example in terms of like doing laundry or going for shopping.
Seth… Their life expectancy also drops as well.
Jasmine… Right. But they are far more adventurous in terms of social aspects?
Seth… Yes, they are.
Jasmine… Their more adventurous?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Because they have their boys, go out with the boys.
Seth… And they are the ones who are usually there to ask a female out for dinner or a date. Females on the other hand are often left feeling that they are intruders into social situations. This is obvious when couples are involved since the other females instinctively act to protect their own.
Stephanie… Their own what?
Jasmine… Their own bed.
Seth… Or if in the case of a same sex union, their partner. Females are then left with the unenviable position of finding and dealing with other females who are in the same situation. It should be noted here that there is a competition instinctively among females who are in this situation as to who can obtain or capture if you will another male.
Isabella… (Laughing.) Capture!
Seth… Or female in the same sex category. Therefore, the investment in these types of behaviors is nonprofitable due to the fact… (Isabella said something.) What am I going to say?
Isabella… That you try to latch on or hold onto any relationship that you have for the simple fact of not having to get back into the game.
Seth… Correct. That you tend to promote relationships that are not to your benefit.
Are there any questions?
Isabella… Well, I mean I completely understand that, however in my current situation I feel that I’m becoming much, I’m becoming more aware faster of something that is making me unhappy and the ability that I have to get out without feeling a loss. I feel that that’s a change for me, obviously in respect to others in the past that I have tried to you know, relationships that I have tried to get out. I’m a little confused as to if I am looking for the negative to protect myself or…
Seth… Confused! (Isabella laughed.) Are you not rushing head long into saying, I’m done? Ridiculous.
Jasmine… How is it ridiculous to say she’s done?
Seth… I’m done dating. I am done with this person. I am done with my life! (Stephanie laughed.)
Isabella… I never said that.
Seth… It is the implication that you are making by the “I am done” situation.
Isabella… Well, I just said that… but I am not sure in this situation with this new guy if it’s a profitable situation for me.
Seth… Then if you are not sure then why continue or why end? You do not know.
Isabella… You’re right, I don’t know yet.
Seth… So therefore, if you do not know something how are you basing an adequate decision? What basis do you have for an adequate decision?
Isabella… Because at this point of reference I feel there’s more negative than there is good.
Seth… Therefore, you will state to any relationship partner whether it be a female that you ae just going out to the movies with. If they want to see a picture that you do not want to see…
Isabella… I just have to continually promote myself.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Which is what I’ve been doing with him which is very different than what I have done in the past. Usually I am the okay what kind of eggs do you like, I like that too.
Seth… You are the runaway bride… (The Runaway Bride, 1999 film starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. Julia Roberts character Maggie, adjusts her interests to mimic the interests of her many fiancés and then runs away from the weddings.)
Isabella… Correct.
Seth… and I would research that statement for about oh, a few hundred years.
Isabella… But I don’t feel, I don’t feel that way in this one. I do not feel…
Seth… Your tendency still to this point of reference is to subjugate yourself to another’s ideas.
Isabella… But I am not doing that now!
Seth… You are but you are not aware of it.
Isabella… How am I doing that?
Seth… You are doing that by allowing statements to pass that you should answer.
Isabella… Such as?
Seth… Such… when statements come by that you so not like…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… what do you immediately do? You come home and complain.
Isabella… I! That’s not true! I’ll come home and complain but I have addressed them with him.
Seth… You have addressed them, but you have not ended. An ending situation means I do not like what you are saying because of.
Isabella… Um, no I have said that, I have said those things to him. Absolutely said those things to him.
Seth… Not in a strong enough way that he can understand.
Isabella… He doesn’t hear anything. He doesn’t, he chooses not to hear anything.
Seth… And you said, are you listening to me, can you repeat what I said?
Isabella… So, I guess I am going to have to do that.
Seth… Continue.
Isabella… Umm, I do not feel I am subjugating myself to him at all, in fact and so I actually really do feel like in this case there is a big difference between this situation and other situations. I know that to be factual and I feel good about that. I feel good about the fact that I am…
Seth… I agree that you are starting to take a stand for yourself. That is as far as I will go.
Isabella… Okay I mean, I just that, you know I don’t really know where to go from here.
Seth… There is no place to go. There is no place not to go.
Isabella… Okay, then…
Seth… You must experience before you make a decision.
Isabella… You’re right.
Seth… That is the answer.
Isabella… And that’s what I said yesterday. I said yesterday that I was going to go with the flow. See what happens. See where the wind takes me kind of thing. Because I’m not really afraid. See that’s the difference, I don’t really feel afraid.
Seth… You are learning to promote self.
Isabella… I don’t feel scared that it’s going to work or not work. You know I am kind of like, I’m almost indifferent which is very unusual for me.
Seth… That’s also covered in this session being indifferent, stagnant and not healthy.
Isabella… Well, I am indifferent about whether or not if it works, fantastic, if it doesn’t work there will be another. I’m not, it’s not indifferent in the sense of not doing, no action. I feel that if it works, great, if it doesn’t so what! I’m not scared that it is not going to work out because I know that there will be someone else, eventually.
Seth… Again, that statement is slightly misleading to you if you look at your conversation this afternoon with the man through whom I speak you will see that you are still doing the same exact thing, your happiness.
Isabella… No, that was specific to today and not necessarily…
Seth… That’s all I stated.
Isabella… That is not necessarily as an overall feeling or sense of what I had.
Seth… The statement itself tells the universe you are not ready to give up this position yet.
Isabella… Which position is that?
Seth… Being inferior. I don’t have. Reread the session and consider yourself there.
Isabella… No, I do but I asked my father that specific question and I said, I don’t want to be, I don’t want to have those feelings. And he said to me, it’s normal to have those feelings.
Seth… It certainly, I covered that earlier when you asked the question.
Isabella… Exactly, but now you are saying the opposite.
Seth… No, I am not. Having a feeling…
Isabella… That’s all I had today was a feeling.
Seth… Having a feeling is one thing but dealing with it in a way in which you dealt with it is quite another. Read this session again and you will understand.
Isabella… I felt I dealt with it very well in fact. My father and I talked about it, and I felt a hundred percent better and I moved on.
Seth… Read the session again.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… With this patient who you know is a victim of her husband and no matter how horrible things get she has just such a difficult time leaving, this is what you are talking about the idea of, you know, is there a repeatable circumstance that you keep finding yourself in and why, you know, when she keeps getting presented the same scenarios why is she being pushed into the same course of action? She keeps doing the same thing and so when we talk about it, she says things like, I don’t know what it is I just feel like I have to be with my husband! Have to be with him.
Seth… Why? Why not?
Stephanie… I mean is, is…
Seth… That is the excuse that individuals use to maintain these situations where their investment is failing. I’m not going to sell the stock because I think it might go up. I’m going to put my investments into something else because this didn’t work but yet they do nothing.
Stephanie… And now behind it is she afraid of abandoning him? And she doesn’t want to be the…
Seth… No! She is afraid of loss of self. If I give him up, what am I?
Stephanie… Because he defines her as a victim.
Seth… She defines herself.
Stephanie… But he helps her to define herself…
Seth… She defines herself because she buys into what he is saying.
Stephanie… You meant when he says, I’m sorry and all that crap, yeah. I don’t know whether he’s going to agree to see me individually or whatever and work on his past but if he’s just going to come into session for two of them how, you know this pattern repeated again, how would I now approach it differently? We’ve gone through this pattern of he…
Seth… What good does saying you’re sorry mean when you do nothing else?
Stephanie… Okay and he says, you’re right it doesn’t do any good.
Seth… Therefore, why do you keep doing it?
Stephanie… I don’t know, it’s just what I do sometimes. This is what he does.
Seth… Show me how you are going to change? If you are here for a reason, what is the reason that you are here for?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… If you are here just to say you are sorry, say it to the lamppost. Say it to anything because it matters not. Change occurs when there is a desire for improvement. You understand that, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Change…
Seth… occurs…
Jasmine… occurs when there is…
Seth… Change occurs when there is a desire for improvement. Where there is no desire for improvement no change is adequate.
Stephanie… Does my patient’s husband think that he desires change?
Seth… Did you ask the question?
Stephanie… Because he wants thing to be better?
Seth… If he wants things to be better what effort is he doing to make a difference?
Stephanie… Right and we went through that and when I confronted him, you know, we came up with nothing. He’s doing nothing.
Seth… Therefore, if you are doing nothing why are you sitting across from me?
Stephanie… Or why are you coming?
Seth… Why are you coming? And if you are truly desirous of change, should you not be fostering a difference in your own behavior?
Stephanie… And he would say well I don’t know how to do that; this is just what happens.
Seth… Then you had better see me in a situation where…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… we can work on strategies for effective change.
Stephanie… (Isabella asked Stephanie if she could ask a question.) Yeah, go ahead.
Isabella… With Don, he has a very closed-minded perspective of situations.
Seth… Protectionism. Anyone who is limited, narrow viewpoint…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… we’ve covered this before.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Who has this perception, is narrow clearly indicates that they have a fear background and cannot or will not expand their horizons to incorporate a difference. They are so afraid of being seen for what they are that they limit their own possibilities.
Jasmine… Protectionism?
Isabella… So, in the sense of…
Seth… Excuse me.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Do you not do this?
Jasmine… Do you mean having an unwillingness to see another viewpoint?
Seth… Correct. Do you stand up to or do you complain about?
Jasmine… Are you talking about my family?
Seth… Anyone.
Jasmine… Well, I wasn’t looking at… I think you just threw me because I now see two different things. I thought when Isabella was talking about Don, she was talking about he has a narrow viewpoint on issues and seems unwilling to open up…
Seth… This is not about Don, this is about you, Jasmine. This is about…
Jasmine… I thought that’s what you asked me, and I said sometimes that’s true. Then you just asked me…
Seth… It is true.
Jasmine… Then you just asked me, do I have a problem standing up to others.
Seth… Don’t you?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Narrow viewpoint. If you become grander then the sum of your part, you can answer back. You can take charge of a situation that you do not like. When you do not see yourself as worthy you cry, you become upset, I wish I had said that. How come I didn’t think of that? Does this sound familiar in this session? Your investment in you is diminished because you do not promote yourself and you should always promote yourself in a fair and just manner. Individuals that learn to promote themselves in a fair and just manner, if you do not then you are diminishing your own self-worth.
Jasmine… I understand that…
Seth… The question that you asked before am I talking about standing up to your family? Obviously. Are we talking about standing up to friends? Obviously. Am I talking that when Isabella victimizes you do you accept it or do you answer back properly?
Jasmine… I try to answer back properly I…
Seth… Debatable.
Jasmine… don’t think I do.
Seth… If Isabella answers you in what you believe is an inappropriate manner, how often have you said, why are you speaking to me that way? This is what I have heard. This is what you said, and this is how I took it. Please explain to me why you did this. That promotes you and will give you practice to expand your horizons with family and friends etcetera.
Jasmine… I tried to do that, but Isabella is difficult.
Isabella… I don’t think you have ever asked me that one time.
Seth… Practice… We are not getting into a discussion of how much. I’ve given Jasmine a methodology here.
Jasmine… I have said, why are you raising your voice? I have said that.
Seth… Why are you raising your voice is not what I stated. That does not help you. Why are you speaking to me like that? This is what you said. This is what I heard. This is how I took it. Would you please explain to me why you said what you said? Practice on the most difficult person that you know.
Yes?
Isabella… So, in this idea that he has this very narrow viewpoint of living in certain communities, raising children in a certain way, besides the fact that it’s so ridiculous to even be thinking about it because it is so early in a relationship…
Seth… But you are having fun with it, both of you.
Jasmine… Initially.
Isabella… However…
Seth… Excuse me, we have an investment here. How much money have you just added to her account and withdrawn from yours? (Jasmine indicated that it was a lot.) Correct. Why is it necessary for you to place yourself in a position that you cannot win? Please reread this session and also do the typing. The session that you have to type also addresses these type of issues. It is vital for your own self-worth that you either will or will not.
Jasmine… I will.
Isabella… So yes, initially it was a fun thing. However, core differences have come out, obviously in this playful banter.
Seth… Opinions. Opinions!
Isabella… Okay. So now his opinion on this is almost leading me to not want to be with him because it is so different than what I believe.
Seth… My question is simple, what have you addressed with him? Have you sat down and said you said this, you said this, you said this, you said this, you said this, my feelings are vastly different? Can we talk about them now? Or would you prefer waiting two weeks, five weeks, a month, five years?
Isabella… Well, we’ve discussed that, it’s stupid to discuss it.
Seth… Then therefore why bother at this point of reference?
Isabella… You right, there’s no point.
My… I guess my question is how do you deal with someone that seems to have and not, it doesn’t have to be him, it could be anybody but seems to have a very narrow viewpoint and whose opinion is variously different that yours, how do you go about having an adequate, that’s not the right word, conversation or a beneficial conversation in which opinions are discussed and other viewpoints can be taken into consideration?
Seth… Let us assume hypothetically that you have a wall that you could have a sixty-inch television placed on that wall, but the room is smaller, and you feel that a thirty-six-inch television should be placed on that wall. But yet your partner wants a sixty-inch television, and you are going to have a proper discussion about this. Well, in any discussion you must be able to see their viewpoint just as that person must be able to see yours and then there is a word that individuals rarely do without, anger.
Isabella… Compromise.
Seth… That’s correct. A compromise and it has been stated before and it is quite true is an agreement that both people hate. In certain types of compromises, you as an individual will not like the situation where it ends up and that is perfectly acceptable, but you are not going to hold that against this other person and the reverse is also true. Do you understand?
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… When you talk about Bill and how much of a victim, he became…
Seth… Is.
Stephanie… Yeah, I mean is but became having to do with one of his bosses and the whole situation and you know I think I have a question about, it seems like, and I know this is kind of linear kind of thinking but his self-worth was triple fold damaged further from being a victim there and um…
Seth… His self-worth will not improve if he confronts anyone. The time is long since passed.
Stephanie… So oh, you are referring to if he had this breakfast thing and he says something.
Seth… Or a letter, or an e-mail.
Stephanie… Right so it doesn’t matter anymore.
Seth… Whether he does or he doesn’t, matters not.
Stephanie… Because it wasn’t in the moment you mean?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Right. But my question is how does, you know I know that change is simultaneous but so then where does, where does negativity have a compound effect where…
Seth… If you keep repeating the same offense.
Stephanie… Right, so he is and so then does the person have the same opportunity for instant change? If the offense builds and…
Seth… If you do something once, let us use Jasmine as an example. She invests her ideas in her kind desire for her daughter Isabella’s happiness.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… She does it once that’s fine. When she’s done it three thousand times…
Stephanie… (Whispered.) She does. (Giggled.)
Seth… she becomes a victim of herself, and it compounds and makes matters worse each time she does it because in any situation that has the fact of a lack of understanding on her part of what she is doing compounds itself so that she becomes more and more unhappy every time Isabella does not meet her own expectations.
Stephanie… Okay but for Jasmine what then is her ability to change?
Seth… The same as your ability when you walk down a road where you are unhappy, and you know exactly what I am talking about with major trust issues. How many of them are there that you have faced and then I have finally stated to you why don’t you ask me a question instead of becoming miserable?
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Please show me how you have learned? Well now that you can’t we shall go on.
Stephanie… (Stephanie laughed.) How I have learned not to go down that road?
Seth… Yes, come on, I’m waiting.
Stephanie… Well um…
Seth… The answer is I have not. Don’t even bother making an excuse.
Stephanie… Well, you’re saying the road is exactly the same?
Seth… Anyone who repeats the same idea, this is an idea, an action, a thought, a word that you constantly repeat, your investment here lacks, lacks, lacks, the smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. You are not improving your standing, you are decreasing.
Stephanie… So then how does that change become attainable?
Seth… Did I, did you read the session? You’re becoming very close to typing this (Stephanie laughs.) session.
Stephanie… But my question has to do with as things get compounded and you said change is instantaneous.
Seth… If you make it so.
Stephanie… But how probable is that statement with what you are just saying?
Seth… When you find that you choose not to be an alcoholic anymore and say that I will never have another drink, change is instantaneous. It may be hard, it may be difficult, it may be painstaking and there may be huge physical discomfort, but the change is instantaneous.
Stephanie… But how would you make that analogy to emotional, to behaviors?
Seth… A person who wants a drink, has an emotional attachment to the drink, to the cigarette, to the drug.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… It’s no different.
Stephanie… So, you’re talking about going cold turkey to the repeated event?
Seth… It is the not wanting to put yourself in a situation where you find loss upon loss upon disappointment upon unhappiness.
Stephanie… Right so when you feel the trigger there that’s when the change would be made?
Seth… When you say, I’m not doing this.
Stephanie… Right, okay.
Seth… That’s the change.
Stephanie… Right, first you have to be aware of the unhappiness about.
Seth… Note, I am not stating here that one shouldn’t be hopeful for someone else. That’s not what I am saying. You can certainly say, I’m glad my daughter in this instance is dating somebody nice. I’m glad William has finally gotten rid of a bad boss, and I am hopeful that he can continue along on his happy ways at work. But the second you start fantasizing, the second you start placing a value on those ideas, it is the second you lose.
Stephanie… You invest in the idea.
Seth… The value, the monetary value, quote emotional.
Stephanie… So, for Bill what would his trigger be in terms of losing himself in a…
Seth… I have to seek approval from.
Stephanie… Uh huh and would he be aware of that feeling internally if he were going to pay attention to it?
Seth… Possibly, possibly not. Should his investment be in his job, in his ability to learn and his ability to well or his ability to please?
Stephanie… No, obviously the first.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: First Kaetorina you will take over at least half the typing of this session. Second, an investment is there to increase in value. No one makes an investment to lose. Your needs are met when your value is increased. Your wants or losses are diminished when you promote yourself.
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here again. We shall start with a question. I am not sure that anybody will know the answer. There is a Native American word “potlatch” and the question here is do you have any idea of what it means? We’ll start with you.
Isabella… No
George… No.
Frank… Not anymore. I’m thinking succotash or something. (Laughter.)
Seth… No, not a clue.
Stephanie… Which culture did you say?
Seth… Native American.
Stephanie… On, no, I could guess.
Seth… Well. Go ahead go guess, see if you can get it right.
Stephanie… I don’t know I am thinking some kind of you know, herbal plant…
Seth… Yeah, let’s move along. Betty, do you have any idea?
Betty… No.
Seth… No. The basic idea is generosity.
Isabella… I was thinking potluck. That’s what I was thinking potluck.
Seth… And we will look at this in terms of our idea of change. We will get to that idea where it sums up a great deal of interest in terms of where you should be going. Each of you and we shall go around carefully has shown bad habits. Some of them are minor, some of them are major and therefore we shall look at the idea of bad habits.
What do you think is the most difficult or worst habit that there is, is?
Isabella… In my life or in general?
Seth… In general.
Isabella… The worse habit that people have?
Seth… Worse habit that people have.
Isabella… Um, giving into negativity.
Seth… Pass it along.
George… Persistent self-delusion.
Seth… Go ahead.
Frank… I don’t know, the thing that came to me was allowing others to do most of the work.
Stephanie… Being judgmental.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… (On phone.) Coming from work, addiction.
Seth… Repeat that please.
Betty… Addictions.
Seth… Addictions. Well, it’s nice to know that none of you have a clue.
Isabella… Picking on others?
Seth… Might be. You can leave that out whoever types this session. (Left it in, FN)
The worst habit that individuals have that retards change is the idea of becoming too hard on yourself. Now where does this lead? When an individual is too hard on themselves, they view themselves as inferior and in doing so they prevent change. When you do not feel that you are living up to your own expectations you tend to let events pass you by. When you let events pass you by and you do not participate in those events you will find yourself becoming stagnant. You also will find that those who tend to be harsh on themselves become angry. They become annoyed and easily upset over trivialities. They routinely obsess on one point over and over again. Their inability to handle these incidents makes them a victim of not only themselves but of the event itself. The man who obsesses about work who is in fear that he is not appreciated or not doing an adequate job literally becomes part of his own problem. His inability to function outside of his cubical atmosphere, he makes himself into a cube and he puts himself inside it, so the cubical atmosphere becomes toxic. He literally breathes the air of despair.
One cannot change if you cannot see past your own difficulties. Individuals of this nature have usually grown up in an atmosphere of intolerance. They become emotionally and mentally stagnant. Their harsh reality permeates their very being. To alleviate themselves of these difficulties they will usually focus on a specific outside form of enjoyment or play. They are consumed with a singular attitude that becomes pervasive and again causes this individual to exclude others from his influence. The husband who becomes obsessive in this manner will constantly seek outside enjoyment such as going to the gymnasium, fishing or any other sporting event that can be done by himself. The wife who finds herself in the same position is overly conscious of beauty. She will obsess on the latest fashion trends. She will seek surgeries to improve her looks. Yet in both instances our male and female is so hard on themselves that they cannot and will not change their patterns of behavior. They usually point fingers at everyone else and blame the others for their own victimization of themselves. They are so enmeshed by their own ideas that they will sacrifice money, a marriage, a child to obtain what they believe are their just deserts. To these type of individuals, it matters not what others feel, think or desire. Their primary concern is with themselves. They are often repetitious in their interests, common comments such as it is my lifelong dream to… No matter what praise is heaped upon them they feel that they are not deserving of such praise. They have great difficulty in taking a compliment when they know that they are not worth it. They are willing to sacrifice happiness to alleviate their own despair. These individuals seek to foster their misery upon themselves and then blame others for their unhappiness. When change occurs, it is with great reluctance that these individuals who are so hard on themselves accept the “new order”.
We started tonight’s session with a Native American, “potlatch”. Change occurs when you are generous, when you open yourself up to the needs of others. It is the encouragement that one requires to face the difficulties of a different perspective on the reality that you yourself are making. One must be able to deal on a day-to-day moment-to-moment basis with the variables of physical plane existence. The individual who is so hard on him or herself shuts out all but the simplest changes. They are true believers in the status quo. Native American children were taught and encouraged to share that which they have with others, but they are also taught to share their ideas about events. The elders encouraged freedom of expression yet when a decision was made that affected all each individual accepted the decision and worked diligently to promote that specific course of events. The individual whose habit is to be harsh on themselves cannot do this. They tend to fall back on their old ways. They refuse to see, understand, or accept a different way! They are so concerned with themselves that they routinely ignore the welfare of others. These individuals are very concrete, to quote a very old expression, “There is a place for everything and everything has its place.”
Each individual must take a step backwards and cast off the yolk of the routine. One must embrace the difference between today and tomorrow. These type of individuals do not deal well with disappointment. They take it as an insult to their very being. They do not understand that not everything can go their way. Disappointment is a personal affront to their very being. They resent that which they cannot obtain easily. Their job does not fulfill them no matter what their salary. They routinely create voids about themselves. They cannot and will not process that which disappoints them. They adopt the immediate victim role and relish with the idea that once again the universe has slapped them in the face. They commonly put their faith and trust in someone who does not deserve their blind obedience to that individual’s will. The other often becomes a surrogate parent who will disappoint them just as their own parents have done. They seek to analyze where they themselves have gone wrong in their relationships with others. They do not have many friends. Most would find it difficult at best to define the word friendship. Since they do not like themselves the fear of failure surrounds them. The world is difficult at best. These individuals embark upon a quest for self-satisfaction which never arrives.
Change is avoided since they cannot and will not look at themselves. They believe they are being generous to everyone or anything other than themselves. They are disappointed with the quality of their lives. The husband or wife or child or children, their home, their status is lacking in one way or another. Therefore, I most hardly recommend that each of you takes a step backward and looks at themselves and ask yourself the following question: How often am I too critical of what I am?
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:24 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: How many of you during our break decided to take a small, medium or large step backwards and look at yourself? I would hardly recommend that to all. Are there any questions?
George… Assuming you are one of these people who are very hard on yourself.
Jasmine… Talk right into the mic. (Some giggling.) It’s really hard to hear people (on the recording.)
George… Other than stepping back and looking, involving the fact that you are one of these people that are critical with themselves, how do you stop or start to change your perspective of yourself?
Seth… When you take a step backward the idea is to first examine tht which you’ve seen about yourself. When you recognize some or all of the difficulties as I have described them you then must review if you will the events that lead you to this position. What was your family life like as you were growing up? What don’t you like about yourself? Why does the world disappoint you? Is it not true that you commonly feel that you were robbed of your rightful place? You then must learn to enjoy the natural order of things. Are you capable of seeing beauty? Can you relax and meditate, or must you be constantly on the move? Can you take enjoyment in the success of others, or do you feel that you were robbed once again. In our step backwards we must learn to reevaluate that which we hold sacred. We must make an effort to force ourselves on a different path of enlightenment. We will give to others generously and when we do, we will find that we will have more than we started with. We will look at ourselves and learn to state I tried the best that I could. I know that I cannot succeed in everything, but I am proud of myself for learning to try. I will learn to put others’ needs ahead of my own wants and I will learn to enjoy my own failures. These are the first steps that I will take as I step backwards from the abyss of disappointment. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… So, in the first six pages where you described this individual who you said was incapable of. What makes you think they could do that?
Seth… What makes you think they can’t?
Stephanie… Well, the way you described it; it looks pretty hopeless.
Seth… I am describing what these people do routinely.
Stephanie… Right, so if they do that routinely what makes you think that they can do this?
Seth… Because they are routinely unhappy.
Stephanie… Right, so the colossal change that it would take to accomplish this…
Seth… Let me ask you a question…
Stephanie… how would that be?
Seth… Well, let’s stop.
Stephanie… So, yeah.
Seth… Let me ask you a question…
Stephanie… It looks bleak.
Seth… When you have a patient who is routinely bothered and upset by things that they do, do you say this bleak, boy that is really terrible?
Stephanie… No, but I don’t write six pages of what sounds hopeless.
Seth… I am describing what is so you have a patient who is miserable, who is upset, who has spent years being unhappy do you turn to that patient and say you’re really a miserable person, you are so unhappy I don’t know how you can live?
Stephanie… No!
Seth… Well, that’s what you are saying here.
Stephanie… No, that’s not what I am saying.
Seth… So please tell me why you should be a therapist?
Stephanie… The way you are saying it…
Seth… I am not saying anything…
Stephanie… Yes, you are.
Seth… it is the way you are interpreting it.
Stephanie… Well, did you not say that they did not have the ability etcetera, etcetera?
Seth… I said until they take a step backwards.
Stephanie… So how would they have the ability to do that is my question?
Seth… Is change instantaneous?
Stephanie… No, I know it is not instantaneous.
Seth… So, I believe that as a therapist you have now failed… miserably.
Stephanie… How would this person take a step backwards?
Seth… By doing so.
Stephanie… And so how would they become aware if you have already described that they cannot look at themselves?
Seth… By becoming so unhappy that they say what is wrong?
Frank… Why is somebody coming into therapy when they do?
Stephanie… I don’t know. I am not saying that they fit into this category.
Frank… Mostly your patients, many of your patients are just like that, some of them are even worse. They come to you or us and they are now reevaluating that. That in itself is the opportunity to step back. And in fact, you are helping them do that, right?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Nothing is hopeless unless you truly make it so. Relax, enjoy, be generous, accept what you must. These are the qualities that will allow you to fulfill your needs and lessen your wants. A pleasant evening to all.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have at least some of you here, the rest will join us whenever they choose to do so.
I would begin tonight’s session with the idea that I am going to tell you a story and the story concerns the great pianist Paderewski (Seth spelled the name.) He was a brilliant man. And this young mother decides one day to take her son to see the concert, listen carefully; the child was approximately six or seven years of age. He goes ahead and plans to go to the concert, the mother dresses him up and finally the night arrives, she takes him there and all of a sudden, she looks around and her son is nowhere to be found and then in that instant the lights dim, the curtain rises and she sees her son slowly walking across the stage and he reaches the piano. The mother is obviously in horror; she does not know what to do. (Seth taps the table indicating for Isabella to write.) And she goes ahead and is about to cry out when the little boy climbs up on the piano bench and starts tapping out with one hand the simple song, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and of course there is some laughter in and from the audience, with that the great master slowly walks out and looks at the child playing and without a word he takes his left hand and places it on the piano and starts the melody for “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”. He then reaches around the young child and with both hands starts playing the same song as the child is tinkling out his little song with one finger. The audience was enraptured by this scene. The concert was obviously a great success and in the morning all that was talked about was one song that the great master played and that of course was “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.
The question here arises, and it is simple you are the great master of what you create. You are responsible for change. What would you have done if it was your child? How would you have broken the spell that was created? Each of you grows up with values and opinions that are shaped by your parents. Underline the words, “shaped by your parents”. For the most part these ideas or ties if you will to the past literally connect you; you are bound to them as if by some unbreakable umbilical cord. These ties, this binding together with the past causes you to view the physical plane in a specific way; your ideas if you will, are shaped by what you see, feel and touch.
Jasmine… By what you see, feel and touch?
Seth… Correct. Unfortunately, your ego has been molded by what your parents have said to you. Their values have become yours. The idea that you must inherent their values is exceptionally limiting. Is there anyone here who would fully accept their parent’s ideas and values without question?
I see that there are none therefore, what have you done to look at, remold, change, underline “change,” that value system? One cannot have change within you unless you break, sever, or dissolve those ties that stem back to parental values. Now I am not suggesting here again that all values that your parents gave you should be discarded, that is foolish. Yet, most are reluctant to expand themselves when expansion conflicts with parental values. When you as an individual know that a series of ideas that have been set forth by your parents do not fit, most try to circumvent those ties. The old adage here is true, one can go one way or another. Yet, that adage itself is misleading and for many quite detrimental. It is easy to see that if you follow ideas and concepts that you do not like you limit your own creative powers. In other words, you are moved away from your greatest point of power; you tend to drift backward into the “past”. Yet the person who states, “I don’t like what my parents did and therefore I am going to do the opposite,” in other words, go the other way often has chosen a path that is just as detrimental! It is in most cases exceptionally limited. The answer here is obvious, if you cannot go right but believe you can only go left what freedom of choice do you have? One obviously leaves no room for compromise. Free will by this course of action is restricted since there is only one path open…
(A phone was ringing but it was coming over the cell from Betty.)
Frank… Answer the phone, Betty!
Jasmine… Oh, it’s Betty’s phone.
Frank… Yeah.
Seth… is limited.
Stephanie… Wait, wait, since there is only one path…
Jasmine… No, free will by this course of action is restricted since there is only one path open…
Stephanie… open…
Seth… and your choices are limited. Therefore, I ask each of you a question, how can you create effectively, how can you change when you are limiting available choices?
These ideas must be viewed if proper change is to take place. One of the great difficulties that most individuals have is the idea that they choose and are self-sustaining.
Jasmine… They choose to be self-sustaining?
Seth… They choose and are self-sustaining.
Jasmine… But what are they choosing?
Seth… Each individual has (The phone rang.) I shall pause… (To Stephanie) Do me a favor please, the machine was off, and I would like you to read from where I started from…
Each person has a set of…
Stephanie… Each individual, okay. Each individual has a set sense of values at any given point of reference. These values themselves give a perspective to that specific time; however, times change and so must you. One can see and note the great difficulties that arise by the choice of stagnation. You limit your own enjoyment and the beauty that surrounds you. I pointed out to Isabella the magnificent beauty of a browning lawn. How many of you treat friends, neighbors, relatives as if they were a browning lawn? Quite often you don’t see beauty within…
Seth… because you choose to keep fixed values! Those values prevent change and (prevent) a creative ability to force yourself to function on a much higher level. Stagnation itself restricts your viewpoint. It forces one into a routine that becomes repetitive. I have previously covered the idea that one should use all your available energies to free yourself from the same set of actions.
Now, are you still going the same way to work? When you are relaxing, how many of you meditate and look at the outside world? Do you wear the same type of clothing? Is your hairdo always similar? A year has 365 days, one should strive that no two days in a year are similar even if you go to the same job. Do things differently; open yourself up to the idea that you can! Are you all not guilty of becoming afraid that you can’t? What do you fear? What do you not like? Examples of this are clear, the man through whom I speak and Kaetorina fear their psychological powers, they tend to back away from that which would assist them greatly. Therefore, they limit their own abilities. Since it is necessary to change as the seasons change, how do you dress for winter as compared to summer? Are you reborn every spring? Is your harvest gathered every fall? What do you do as the seasons change or are you the same? It is obviously necessary that decisions that are made at one point of reference must and should be discarded at another. How do you react when you find it necessary to discard what you have agreed to do with yourself? In other words…
Isabella… How do you react when you discard?
Seth… You’ll pick it up from somebody else.
Isabella… Okay, but I want to know what you mean by it.
Seth… I am going to explain it, (Isabella was about to argue.) Stop!
When you have made a decision let us say to go to a movie theater to see a specific show but then you realize that it is in conflict with something else, are you angry? Bothered? Do you resent the fact that you had to change your plans, or do you seek to make excuses to accommodate an idea? Let us state a hypothetical case, someone invites you to go away with them to sleep, let’s say in a hotel or an inn but you feel you did not want to do this, didn’t like the area, do you find yourself making excuses to yourself for attempting the radical idea to say, “no”? How do you try to convince yourself that you are satisfied with the “no”? That word brings huge problems to the unenlightened. Unless you do something, you cannot succeed.
Do Nothing = Failure
Most individuals choose not to confront or even attempt the radical idea of doing something to promote themselves even in simple situations. They tend to go along with the crowd since it is easier to paddle downstream than it is to go against the current or the mass consciousness viewpoint of any given situation. Note here, I am not telling you to be contrary, I am stating that one must learn to be themselves. If something is not correct for you and you choose to do nothing you have failed that opportunity. You have done what you have always done by routinely and blindly following the easiest path.
Each of you must attempt to question the events as they present themselves to you. Most individuals fall back on the idea, I should have said that, I wish I had done more, why didn’t I think of that? They routinely discount what they have said and done. They then become angry and, in most cases, depressed over these type of events. For they did nothing, and they failed. Now I am not saying that standing up for yourself should be easy. It certainly should not be; it should be difficult for if you do not stand up for yourself who should? The temptation is to ask another first about what you should do. Would it not be more profitable to ask yourself what avenues are open and if you are still in a quandary about which of the infinite numbers of paths that open, then ask another? (Seth tapped the table which he does to indicate when someone should be taking notes.) You will then present the other person your thoughts and feelings on a specific subject. In doing so you will be able to formulate a course of action that benefits you since the ideas have been presented as your own. Even if you have ten different paths to take, present all, discuss all so that you may create change that is relevant to and for you.
Jasmine… So, you can create…
Seth… Change that is relevant to and for you. While this methodology is difficult the benefits are there. You will indeed prosper.
At this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue. A few teeny bits of housekeeping that we shall go through at this point. First Isabella, how are you doing with the typing?
Isabella… We discussed this.
Seth… I know we did but I told you that I would put it on the record today.
Isabella… (Not clear.)
Seth… Yes, Jasmine you have approximately two weeks to go.
Jasmine… Okay, I have…
Seth… I am very well aware (Jasmine speaking at the same time.) and you are doing an admirable job of something that you hate.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… But you are getting use to it; I assume you do not want to type tonight’s session as well?
Jasmine… That I do not want…
Seth… I understand, therefore that being stated are there any questions?
Stephanie… Why did you go into all this?
Seth… I believe it’s called a Tuesday night lecture. (Said dryly and there was group laughter. Note, much of the way Seth says anything is often with a dry sense of humor.)
Stephanie… I know but it seems like you had some ulterior motives of some sort.
Frank… He always has ulterior motives.
Seth… There is no question of an ulterior motive. One chooses their lectures in a way that becomes relevant to every reader, everyone who sits around the table. My thoughts and ideas are presented as universal facts. You may accept those facts, or you may reject those facts. That of course is up to you but as an ulterior motive? No, there is none. I use what I have to in terms of your own knowledge and learning.
Jasmine… To me, in the very beginning is the connection to the topic of Change when you are talking about the child and you demonstrated how the master was able to change what the plan had been and that all that was discussed the day after was how remarkable “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” was. And then you said we are the great master of what we create, and we are responsible for change and that basically is the key. I mean if you want to change it is what you create to make yourself change.
Seth… Isn’t it interesting that the great pianist himself used the child to create a situation that was memorable for every single person in that audience? If you cannot create you cannot succeed. You automatically become dependent upon the whims of others. The concept that we are delving into in terms of change is an exceptionally difficult area. Far too often you put yourself at the mercy of others and you tend to do this without a second thought. How can you possibly succeed if you allow someone else to dictate your own course of action? We can easily go around the table; I could send copies of this to thousands of individuals and ask each of them to look within themselves to note how often they allow others to rule their course of action. You will always note that I rarely if ever tell you what to do. I choose not to assist in this way since first, it takes away your free will and second, it makes that individual dependent on myself or a technique. I am sure our friend Frank can testify admirably to that.
Isabella… Can I ask a question? But am I becoming dependent on the happiness and the beauty meditation?
Seth… Why would you believe… Why would you believe that you are? Write that down, am I becoming dependent on the happiness and beauty meditation?
Isabella… Well, the only reason why I am saying it is because you’ve said to Frank before about meditating and how he’s…
Seth… What are you doing differently than what he is doing?
Isabella… I guess I use it to assist me in moments when I am either feeling negative and I try to… or a victim and I use that to try and change my point of view.
Seth… You are using it for a specific idea and value fulfillment system and because you are using that for a specific idea and value system methodology each time is different. Each effect is always different.
Isabella… So, I am not becoming, not the idea of becoming dependent on the technique.
Seth… No.
Stephanie… You know the concept of boredom, is a lot of that actually resistance to change?
Seth… What do you believe it is?
Stephanie… You know the idea of the stagnation I guess and not creating new things.
Seth… If every morning you got up and you poured yourself three quarters of cup of Fruit Loops and that is the only thing you could have for breakfast how often would you enjoy the Fruit Loops?
Stephanie… Not often.
Seth… Routine that is constant becomes a problem. (Seth tapped the table to indicate to take notes.) Routine in this instance is a problem since you cannot or will not foster change. You are doing the same thing today that you did fifteen months ago. So therefore, the times have changed, you are now ready to move along yet you do not so you’re not changing. You are doing nothing, and you have failure and one must note how that follows through. If you will look back into situations that have given you difficulty you will note that for a long span of time, a long series of reference points if you will… Is there a difficulty here?
Isabella… No, (Unclear something about towels.)
Seth… Are you not capable of thinking for your self?
Isabella… I am but I just forget.
Seth… Why?
Isabella… Why do I forget?
Seth… No, why should she remind you?
Isabella… Well, I think because it is part of the community’s… the whole thing because towels are joint community that I check first for the dryer.
Seth… No, the problem is you allow another to do your thinking. Would it not have been better off for you to fail, not do the towels, not allow yourself to get assistance from your father and now it’s your problem? What Jasmine has done is taken away your creativity. The problem is yours not hers and quite often you resent the fact that Jasmine tells you things and reminds you of things that you should be doing. When you don’t do them, you get angry and bothered by the idea of why are you constantly saying this to me? Now, if Jasmine is as intelligent as I believe that she can be, she should want you to fail. She should want you to make mistakes and therefore she can legitimately say look what you didn’t do.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just wanted to ask, you know when you say that people allow others to rule their course of action, is that, does that stem from the values that were learned from the parents?
Seth… In most cases, yes.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… They are afraid to stand up for themselves.
Stephanie… But is it…
Seth… But what?
Stephanie… But is that from the parent’s not promoting the children’s freedom to choose or…
Seth… It can be any numerous series of events.
Frank… Even if (Something to do with getting hurt.)
Seth… I told you the greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to fail. If one deals with parents who prevent that, one can never learn. You learn more from your failures than you do from your successes.
Stephanie… And also, could you comment more about the idea about changing the values that you learned from your parents? How would you know which ones and what’s operating?
Seth… What is working for you, what is not working for you? Where do you find yourself being criticized? Where do you have fear? Where is your stress level? How do you function? Can you talk back to your mother or father? Can you deal with your siblings? Do you deal with your boss in an effective way? Do you deal with friends in an effective way when there are problems? All these issues stem from what you learned as a child and because you have an ability to look at these things and state, “I wonder if I am doing this because of?”
Stephanie… Like my mother trying to coerce me into changing my position with my father is her value system, correct?
Seth… Is her value system where and she got this obviously she grew up because she cannot confront anything. Yet to her, your stance if you will, is incorrect, “How could you do this to a parent?” That is her battle cry, forgetting that she did the same thing. So, when you point this out to her, she has nowhere to go except to agree with you. Yet tomorrow it will be the same battle cry again since she has chosen not to change.
Stephanie… She is going to hold the same position that she approached me with today?
Seth… Has she not already? How many times has this conversation taken place?
Stephanie… Too many for me.
Seth… Well, I guarantee it will probably happen again.
Stephanie… Right, so then when it does can, I just say, “I’m not going to discuss this with you?”
Seth… Why?
Stephanie… “We’ve been here before; I haven’t changed my position.”
Seth… And she is going to say, “Why not?”
Stephanie… Because it…
Seth… It is always better to give a level of understanding to someone who needs it and then eventually one can expect them to understand, not agree with but to understand your position.
Stephanie… But isn’t this just the resistance to the understanding? She understands.
Seth… No, she does not understand.
Stephanie… She doesn’t understand?
Seth… Not at all.
Stephanie… If she sees my father for who and for who and what he is?
Seth… That’s her viewpoint, she doesn’t want it to be yours. She doesn’t want you to copy her.
Stephanie… Right, she can divorce him, but I can’t.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… That goes back to her feelings about parents and children.
Seth… One should always honor; one cannot be mad at.
Stephanie… So, she…
Betty… How does this tie into your core beliefs?
Seth… Your core beliefs are what you started to grow up with and your core beliefs are those instances that you use, and you then camouflage your true belief on a subject and you make it real where the core belief itself needs change.
Betty… Okay so is it the same thing as the value?
Seth… The values are what you take away from the core belief.
Betty… Uh, huh, okay.
Frank… I don’t understand, how…
Seth… Take this please (the microphone.)
Frank… Okay. The values are what you take away from the core belief?
Seth… You have a belief system that…
Frank… Like if I have fear, that’s the value?
Seth… That’s the value because of your belief in something.
Frank… My belief in this is, because this is scary that is dangerous, that’s the value.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… I don’t…
Jasmine… That’s the core belief. This is scary, that is scary.
Frank… I have no confidence or self esteem because I believe I am not good at this.
Seth… Correct, that’s core belief.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Yes?
Isabella… Can I change the topic?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Can you give me some assistance in this idea of feeling tired and adding this new medication and having the feeling I am…
Seth… How was your sleep last night?
Isabella… Very bad.
Seth… Then why are you making any decisions when you may be overtired, over wrought and stressed from lack of sleep?
Isabella… But I haven’t been sleeping well lately.
Seth… We are not saying what you have or have not been doing.
Isabella… But last night was a particular. Can you give me some assistance in how I can get a better night’s sleep?
Seth… Get a better night’s sleep by first telling yourself that you are going to have a better night’s sleep. By saying I have not been sleeping well I guarantee that works.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… From the previous session (377) I typed up and the idea of the three things that make up a person?
Seth… Which are?
Frank… Sincerity, commitment and hard work. Why are you choosing these and what is your idea of a person? Is it different than a human? Why…
Seth… A person…
Frank… What makes up a person?
Seth… Whatever they define it as.
Frank… No, no, your concept?
Seth… My concept has nothing to do with yours.
Frank… That’s obvious but why, what do you get…
Seth… Why are you walking into a tree?
Frank… I’m trying to not to. But you asked me a question…
Seth… You succeeded admirably. (Isabella laughing.) One must understand the idea that what makes an individual whole…
Frank… Right.
Seth… are various complexities that we have not even begun to scratch the surface on. I may go ahead, let us say in fifteen years from now, redo the idea of Change in a vastly different way because you are not ready to understand that. I may use hard work differently. I may use sincerity or commitment differently. You still have no true concept of time. Your ideas of love are so misleading that it is staggering. So, all these factors make an individual what they are. An individual who is an old soul has an innate understanding that all that flows from higher realms down to you makes them whole.
You are still trying to understand how to walk out of a forest. You could not understand the complexities of learning about self as an old soul would for their informational systems are different. Just as an old soul who is incarnated has no concept of when I view myself; for we are vastly different than that single individual; so, the question itself is that, just a question. Each individual piece that I give you is geared to move you along on a specific road.
Frank… But the idea…
Seth… Be careful.
Frank… Well, the idea I am taking from that is the concept of what do you mean by a person?
Seth… What I mean by a person…
Frank… From my understanding, Seth.
Seth… Then you define it. I’m not going to define it.
Frank… It is what puts you along the way of making you whole or more whole.
Seth… Satisfactory answer if that’s a person.
Frank… That’s a person.
Seth… It matters not because tomorrow you may change that concept and yesterday was different than it is today. That’s why this lecture is important to you… and you will enjoy typing it up.
Frank… I told Cyndi you’d do this to me the minute I finished typing up the other one.
Seth… No, you were getting this one because of that question.
Frank… That question!? So, you… why should I want to ask questions at session anymore?
Seth… Why? Because you can’t help it. (Group laughed.)
Frank… I can help it.
Seth… Is that a threat?
Frank… No! It’s not a threat! Is that a threat?
Seth… Yes, I gave you one! You may have a month to type it up; you may take your time.
Isabella… Don’t worry, I have two that I got.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… Well, why don’t you give me, while we are here, something on linear thinking or how not to?
Seth… Linear thinking itself is a series of progressive thoughts, if I do one thing here it allows me to do the next which allows me to do the next. It is a type of thinking that is detrimental because it leaves you no freedom for individual choice. In other words, if I do A then I must do B. It goes in a series like a ruler, do you understand this? Free thought is grabbing part Z from here, using part Q from here, dragging in R and dividing it and making B which now allows you to use Y and Z to make A. Do you understand?
Frank… What are the…
Seth… (Answering someone else.) About linear thinking. He wants to understand. (Frank is talking.) No, the concept was obvious that when if you do A you must get B because B must lead you to C which leads you to D.
Frank… Then for example, one way to promote free thought would be to utilize a question at night.
Seth… Again, one should always put out to the universe a question and it does not have to be in the evening before you go to bed, although that may help your dream state, but the idea is the man through whom I speak routinely practices his simple question, “How would a prosperous man act?” In your case you may want to ask, how would a man who is lost in the woods act?
Frank… I already asked that question.
Seth… And you are still there. So, the object here is to promote a question that gives you the widest possible series of answers.
Jasmine… By being creative.
Seth… Correct, which is your problem.
Jasmine… Which doesn’t allow freedom.
Seth… If you must go A, B, C, D you’re in a little box. Now you are trapped in the inside. Is there anything else, Frank?
Frank… Well…
Seth… This was a shortish lecture until you started to ask things.
Frank… Until I started, well… I don’t have to feel guilty about asking a question!
Seth… No and you should not.
Frank… So then one way to simply promote free out of the box thinking is to just ask the question and not try to just immediately answer and in other words let it sit.
Seth… What if you have a question…
Frank… Because I automatically go some place.
Seth… If you have a question, why is it necessary for you to get an immediate answer? That’s what you learned from your parents. “I want an answer!”
Frank… I heard that, a little bit. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… I know I researched that, I researched that…
Frank… That’s like a, that’s like a term.
Seth… I researched that before I made my answer and that is perfect for tonight’s session.
Frank… That was right up there with, “I’ll give you something to cry about!” (Laughs.)
Arthur… Oh, right.
Frank… That was a big one.
Arthur… Oh yeah.
Frank… (There was some discussion between Arthur and Frank and then said softly.) My kids didn’t hear that.
Seth… Do you understand?
Frank… Yes! Yeah, I understand.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just want to say…
Betty… (From the telephone.) I totally (like that) because I’m also trying to see how to get from one point to the next. Following Frank’s… would you then say think about what it would be like to not… to say I don’t know or not know.
Seth… When you say, what would it be like to not know puts a negative function out to the universe which is something you do not choose to do.
Betty… Then how would you resolve an issue of the need to always have an answer? That’s where…
Seth… The need…
Betty… That’s an example.
Seth… The need to have an answer does not have to become immediate; the need to have an answer if you are patient enough the answer will find you.
Betty… Okay, so that’s then not the problem or that’s okay.
Frank… That’s also the idea of saying, “Yes,” of saying, “Yes,” to the universe.
Seth… Of course.
Kaetorina?
Stephanie… I just wanted to say, the linear thinking is that the underpinning of why human nature is routine?
Seth… Linear thinking is what you live in a linear area.
Stephanie… Right but isn’t that how everyone functions. You know, a) first you do this then you do that. It doesn’t promote change.
Seth… Are the great thinkers and philosophers and scientists of your world, your portion of the physical plane, are they linear thinkers or are they free thinkers?
Stephanie… Free thinkers.
Seth… Next.
Jasmine… Despite the fact that where our specific frame of reality is based on linear time.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Right.
Jasmine… I mean we have all been kind of locked into that.
Frank… I do know, that the time when I have the least pressure or enjoy myself the most is when I go, “Oh yeah! I could do it this way,” and I have done that.
Seth… Change.
Let me leave you with this: To effectively promote change, break the ties that hold you in a steadfast position. Seasons change and so must you. If you do nothing you will have failure. If you do nothing you will have failure! That line is to be typed twice. In understanding those three points, your wants will diminish, and your needs will become fulfilled. A hearty good evening to all.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have you with us again. Jasmine, how are you doing?
Jasmine… Fine.
Seth… You feel stronger and better?
Jasmine… Stronger and better? I am not sure what you mean by that?
Seth… In your general condition, mentally speaking, do you feel stronger, more self-assured and better?
Jasmine… Mentally I feel better and stronger, yes.
Seth… Good, therefore you just volunteered to type this session, congratulations.
Jasmine… Great.
Seth… We will give you approximately four weeks to do this. Is that fair for you?
Jasmine… I’ll do my best.
Seth… Make sure. Other than that: We have been speaking on the subject of Change and within that context we have covered two portions of that which makes you a person. We will get to the third this evening, but we shall first go around the table and have each of you describe what you can of the first two portions about what enables you to become better than what you are. Kaetorina, you may start the two things for you.
Stephanie… You mean that you talked about?
Seth… Well, that might be interesting. (Stephanie laughs.)
Stephanie… Um, I remember…
Seth… First do you remember what they are?
Stephanie… Well not exactly, I remember sincerity…
Seth… And?
Stephanie… I don’t remember the other one.
Frank… Can I help?
Seth… Sure.
Frank… Commitment?
Stephanie… Commitment? Oh.
Seth… Commitment was first.
Stephanie… Okay, so yeah.
Seth… I can see that you have been doing your homework, (Stephanie laughing.) and you have really been paying attention to what’s going on.
Stephanie… I have, I have nothing going on in my life at all. (Laughs.)
Seth… And you haven’t finished typing the last session that you were supposed to.
Stephanie… Almost, I’m at the questions.
Seth… Almost is not complete.
Stephanie… So, what do you want me to say about those two things?
Seth… I’d like to know what you remember and what you learned from them.
Stephanie… That you cannot be a whole person and succeed at happiness unless um, you act…
Seth… You haven’t looked at this at all. Nor have you chosen to understand anything that I (Stephanie giggled.) have given you.
Stephanie… If I reread it right now I would.
Seth… I’m not asking that (Another Stephanie giggle.) so let us now pass…
Stephanie… I mean I understand what sincerity is.
Seth… That’s not necessarily correct. So why don’t we pass this along to you and we will then go ahead and give it to Jasmine.
Jasmine… Okay, well the commitment part for me was very powerful. It helped to solidify for me that doing for myself which is the key to my being happy here on the physical plane in this incarnation would be determined by the strength of my commitment to follow through on those types of things, not asking for help when I could do it myself. And the other part about the commitment aspect was even hearing about it from points of view of others around the table, their, the things that they needed to be committed to, to help them change resonated also and made sense to me. Such as Isabella needing to be able to stand on her own two feet, not needing to be cared for, giving up things that were painful to you and being able to stay with it, being committed to your plan, the plan you made us, create for ourselves, to reread those sessions and to reread the plan and I found that extremely helpful. The…
Seth… When was the last time, remember the work that I assigned you to reread and at least two times a week, how are you doing with that?
Jasmine… I would say that I haven’t been as diligent as I was initially, but I have been reading it at least once or twice a week and my program I know by heart! So, I will say it, I will go over it in the car very often and I know the order of it actually. So, I can go over it and I do.
Seth… But it is the reading that is meant to help for you. Pass it on to our person who is…
Jasmine… You don’t want me to talk about the sincerity?
Seth… Well, if you would like to, certainly.
Jasmine… Well, I just felt the sincerity part made a tremendous amount of sense because you can’t be committed to something if you are not sincere about it. It’s like you know the person, we talked about it how people delude themselves into thinking that they are committed, and they say, Oh! I have made changes and I have made progress, and they really haven’t and they argue about it, you know. And they try and convince themselves and everybody else that they’ve really made progress when they really haven’t. The sincerity of the commitment to the change brings that into focus, that part.
Seth… Our friend Frank.
Frank… For me the commitment is related to discipline, discipline to stay on facing the thing you need to face. The issue of sincerity is the idea of truly being open and recognizing the need to make a change, to not lie to oneself and go along your way with that lie. And to essentially add it with the discipline so that you’re staying on point. That there is stick-to-it-ness and honesty.
Arthur… For me the commitment part, the first thing that occurs to me about that is my not squandering and to go beyond my comfort zone and to be dedicated to that and I don’t know what I missed here last week. I don’t know if that was the sincerity piece? (Someone said that it was.) Okay. And that was sincerity? Okay so I missed that, and I would like to borrow somebody’s notes if I may.
Seth… The question is very simple, I have covered two out of my three points about how to make yourself in terms of a whole or better person than what you are, to achieve your goals and the answer that Kaetorina who failed miserably in the past what were the two issues you had to cover and how are you doing with them?
Isabella… So, commitment and sincerity.
Seth… If that’s what you remember they are.
Isabella… That’s what they are.
Seth… Talk about it.
Isabella… I guess for me the commitment piece, they kind of go hand and hand for me, commitment and sincerity. But commitment has always been an issue for me, stick-to-it-ness, to be able to stay with something long enough so that I can reap the benefits of it. And I think ultimately this commitment to change for me and the idea of committed change, committed change, committed change and the idea that I am not deceiving myself into believing that I am changing or making changes when I’m really not. And so that would be the sincerity piece, the being able to be truthful to myself in every aspect about how far I’ve come and yet feel good about those things but understand that it is not a race and I have to remind myself of those things and not live in the air of deception. And really the commitment piece, to be committed to the task that I have you know been reaching out to for help in my commitment to change such as meditating, doing beauty and happiness meditations, reading, reading “The Secret” and doing the nine points. Which the two of you need to work on by the way. (Meaning Jerry and Stephanie, Isabella had been speaking to Seth earlier.) And eventually starting “The Nature of Personal Reality” and so I just feel like all of those pieces are kind of coming together and I am feeling stronger. And saying, being committed to saying the affirmation that I created for myself while you have given me one, I also have created one of my own that I think is really working. And so, in that area I do feel like I am committed to change and being truthful to myself with how far I have come but yet how far I have to go.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… Well Frank helped me out with the word discipline. I still feel very stuck. I mean I continue to feel that I go through motions, but I am unconnected to a sense of making any kind of change and there is a part of me that struggles with apathy or I have done this, I have read this, but I just continue to go keeping one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it’s one step forward, two back. I’m in a stuck place with both. I mean can understand it, I can look to the end of the problem, make the commitment, go through the motions, I’m not connecting to it. And in terms of sincerity, I mean that’s my truth. I’m doing quote what I am supposed to. It’s not happening yet.
Seth… Okay. We have dealt with the first two and it is obvious that all of you require the third piece of the puzzle for you cannot commit to anything, you cannot be sincere about that which you feel strongly about unless you are committed to the idea of hard work. For without hard work none can succeed. Within this context the delusions that individuals create become so massive that most cannot and will not find their true path. (The group went back and forth around getting dictation correct.) You will find it at the end please.
Now, when you are attempting to make a change, one must have as within a journey a starting point. One must begin to look at themselves. You must find the road, the cycle that you are on. Have you noticed that for most events and procedures, ideas tend to repeat themselves? It is this repetition that one must view and then decide to end. If you do not end you cannot have a new beginning. While this statement seems simple in itself it is highly complex.
Stephanie… You mean the ending of a negative repeatable pattern?
Seth… Read the whole statement please.
Stephanie… If you do not end you cannot have a new beginning.
Seth… Do you understand that statement? In other words, you are looking to make a difference, a change, an alteration, correct?
Jasmine… Alright, let me just go back and read. It says, when attempting to make a change one must have as within a journey…
Seth… A beginning.
Jasmine… a starting point. One must begin to look at self. You must find the road, the cycle you are on. Have you noticed that for most events and procedures, ideas may tend to repeat themselves? It is this repetition one must review (“view” was the word used by Seth.) and then decide to end. End the repetition of (Unclear.) If you don’t end you cannot have a new beginning. While this statement seems simple by itself it is highly complex.
Seth… Correct. What do you not understand with this?
Jasmine… So just to say in my own voice. If you want us to have a change, you have to recognize the repetitions of the pattern and or the ideas or the events and you have to decide to end them.
Seth… Let us use a very simple example for you, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… Hold the microphone. You routinely tell yourself tht things are too much for you, too difficult, too hard especially in physical labor.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… Give us a moment… one of the clear examples of this is the idea tht you did not and would not truly like to engage in a long golf game.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… Yet what happened today?
Jasmine… I was able to play for five hours without a problem.
Seth… And it was very hot weather. That is a beginning because you decided today to end that which you were routinely doing. Do you understand now?
Stephanie… You mean she wouldn’t have done it?
Seth… She would have complained, she would have gone ahead and come home exhausted. She would have gone ahead and not only said that you were exhausted as you just did but you would have immediately given yourself further degradation if you will. You would have gone ahead and felt poorly about yourself and how you played and what you did, yet none of this occurred because you made a new beginning. Now whether you continue with that new beginning as anyone goes through this and most of this should be written down because you are missing the general idea here. When you make a new beginning the question arises how hard will you work? It is the delusion here that causes great difficulties. The delusion is I am doing it but in reality, you are not. One may say if one looks at a change, are you doing your best? Now, for most individuals they would state, yes, but this routinely is a delusion since it is far easier to delude yourself then it is for you to be truthful.
Frank… So, another delusion would be this is just too hard?
Seth… A delusion is that it is too hard, it’s too long, it’s too… (Dot, dot, dot.)
Jasmine… I think the delusion here is that you think you are making a change and that you are doing your best.
Seth… That’s part of it. The delusion is that you believe that you are doing your best but when challenged, when challenged how many individuals become angry? How many individuals resent the idea that someone disagrees with them. That is the problem in and of itself.
So, one must create the idea for themselves that they can, no matter how hard, difficult, tedious, boring the task seems, it is you who must plod along until you decide to create a different viewpoint. We will take notice here of how Isabella has not decided to change her ways as evidenced by her last comments about her phone call!
Isabella… Yeah, but I have a question regarding that.
Seth… No, you will hold that. There is no reason at this point to go into that, you will certainly be able to ask your question later.
Isabella… It’s not really about that. It’s about the (Unclear.)
Seth… Of course, you do. Again, there is no new beginning.
Isabella… But I am not usually judgmental when it comes to (Unclear.)
Seth… It is the concept and the idea of what you are routinely doing here. We will deal with that later.
The hard work that is necessary for change to occur is the first process that will allow you to commit to change and the sincerity that follows will give you the necessary ability to function in a different manner.
Frank… Can you give an example?
Seth… You just had one.
Now, when individuals measure themselves, the question arises: How do you measure yourself? And once again here we will go around the table and ask that question. Let us start with Kaetorina who did a routinely…
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Well, you were misleading in your question.
Seth… My question was not misleading at all, move along
Stephanie… Ah, how do I measure myself? You mean if I am doing well?
Seth… My statement stands as is. How do you measure yourself?
Stephanie… Well, I measure myself… (Long pause.)
Seth… You have no clue pass it along.
Stephanie… It’s a very complicated question.
Jasmine… Well since the…
Seth… Aren’t you glad Jasmine decided to type this up?
Stephanie… (Laughing.) Thank God. It’s a good thing.
Jasmine… Since the last two sessions with the commitment and the sincerity I feel like a door has kind of opened for me. So, when I am measuring myself or the progress I am making I’m using that, those two lectures as a standard by which I look at how well I am doing or how well I may not be doing and so for example with doing things for myself I am attempting to do more though I may misjudge. For example, yesterday I attempted to make these two big things for a lunch for my bridge girlfriends but I didn’t have enough time to do it but I had every intention of actually doing it which was something I might not have done in the past. And with my mother I am continuing to stand up for myself there with her which I might not have done in the past, so I am kind of committed to not falling back into the old pattern of Jasmine and the place Jasmine had been in. So as far as measuring myself I think I am looking at the way I am measuring myself is by looking at how committed I am to changing. The actual concrete things I am doing to make those changes and the sincerity behind them. I mean one thing I noticed that I knew I had to do for myself but felt angry, so I knew that there was some waffling there because I didn’t feel good about having to do it but still I did it. And the only place that I feel I’m really falling down is that there is some indication of some kind of turmoil that I cannot get in touch with right now is my weight issue which is getting worse. And my eating is totally out of control, so I am not sure what is happening there. That is a measure of some kind of failing I don’t know what that is but in my other aspects I feel that I am measuring myself well.
Frank… I measure myself in two manners. The correct way when I measure myself is when I really actually see what is and where I feel that it makes sense to me. And in that way, I am usually not judgmental. The way that I most often measure myself is an incorrect way and that is I find people or things or whatever that is doing something better than me, I find myself lacking and I measure myself in that manner and put myself in a hole.
Arthur… Right now, it occurs to me that I measure myself through my application of self and my diligence but also in terms of facing fears or taking risks and I measure myself as moving when something new happens.
Isabella… Be sincere. I feel one way that I measure myself is how other people view me and I measure my work based on their opinion. And another way that I am really trying to begin to do is to measure myself based on what I view of myself and that I am starting to try to begin to uncover the inner me and how I feel about me not being fun or how somebody else views me.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… I measure myself to myself at different points of time when I was either feeling better about myself or better about what I was doing.
Seth… It is interesting to note that most individuals measure themselves in the poorest way possible and that is by comparing and contrasting that which you believe you are to other standards. A sure sign of failure is to follow this course of action. The reason for this should be quite obvious and that is a three-word statement on my part: Does it matter? One cannot work diligently if you always have to look over your own shoulder to find the ruler to determine how you are doing. (Isabella asked a question that was not clear.) It is the same meaning.
Isabella… So, it’s again the turning to another to give you value?
Seth… If you have to turn to another, who are you giving your creativity to?
Isabella… I think I made the connection now for what you were saying before. The comment I made about the date tomorrow night was I feel like I am judging a book by its cover because what you were saying to me on the phone about having a Hampton’s share and this and that. And I felt that he was very snobby and whatever.
Seth… How about if he is just making simple conversation and wants you to learn about him?
Isabella… Yes, but also but I think I felt…
Seth… And then you became judgmental.
Isabella… No.
Seth… Of course, you did you just said it.
Isabella… I’ll tell you exactly where I think I went with that, unconsciously. But I wasn’t… I’m not worthy enough to date somebody of that caliber. And so, I think that that’s the place that I went so in order to protect myself I made judgments about him.
Seth… How do you value yourself? By what standards?
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Therefore, the commitment to hard work must take precedence if change is to occur naturally. You cannot change if you are always looking over your shoulder. Does he have more? Do I have less? This is not hard work for the moment you embark upon that path you delude yourself and you continue the cycle that you are desperately trying to end. How can you do your best then if you are fooling yourself into believing what your egocentric viewpoint has shown you?
Isabella… When you say egocentric viewpoints does that mean what we see on the physical plan?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… So, what we’ve learned here by watching?
Seth… It is not only what you’ve learned by watching. It is not only learning; it is what you are having yourself create. Remember, your viewpoints are commonly narrowed, your ego, which is truly meant to observe the physical plane and take it in, quite commonly is limited because it can’t give it away. You are stuck with a viewpoint. You don’t process it well. You are not open to.
Now, have you ever noticed that when events routinely continue and they tend to be repetitious you become bored, frustrated, angry! Individuals tend to become depressed. The “what about me” syndrome is in full swing. These difficult situations inhibit that which you have tried to create. How can one run a race if your fuel is low? You become weary and you let others do for you. The question then arises: Where do we go from here? And the answer is quite simple you do what you have to do!
We will move over the tape.
To go ahead and deal with Kaetorina’s statement you just have to “suck it up”is another delusion and it puts you totally on a wrong path.
Jasmine… Her statement? (Obviously there was some discussion while the tape was turned over.)
Seth… Correct. When one must do what they need or are required to do it gives one an opportunity for self-improvement. The hard work that is necessary to accomplish your task must be found within yourself to “suck it up” literally means to accept what you have to do even if you don’t want to do it. The resentment there leads one to failure. One fails since you are dealing with a negative perspective of the opportunity that has presented itself to you.
Now when one is down on themselves because of events your inner feelings tend to want to make you run. When one runs away the ability to create to challenge that situation is diminished. That is why one cannot suck it up.
Isabella… Can I say something as an example for myself? Um, I get to a point in dating where, like I fail.
Seth… What are you creating?
Isabella… I am creating…
Seth… Dis-ease.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Unhappiness, unsatisfactory results.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… One because you are not open to being creative and two because you are telling yourself before anything starts, I Am Not Happy!
Isabella… But when I say I am not happy, meaning within myself or within whatever they are offering?
Seth… Both.
Isabella… Okay, so in relationship to this story about Jenny, is that how that is related to this? Because in the sense of obviously judging her before, because that is what I am doing. I am going in with this mindset of judging before I am actually giving anybody or anything a chance.
Seth… Not only giving a chance, you are not giving you a chance! Forget about them!
Isabella… But how am I not giving myself a chance? That’s what I don’t understand. That’s the piece I’m missing.
Seth… If you walk into a situation saying, “Ah, this guy is too wealthy for me, this guy is too poor for me, this guy is too heavy, this guy, this guy has a beard, this guy is bald, this guy doesn’t have the right job, this guy… All of these are negative thoughts.
Isabella… So, I am setting myself up for, for failure!
Seth… You are telling yourself that things will not be good. To our therapists in the room, to our patients in the room, to readers who will read this material, how often do each of you do the same thing? So, the question is have you ended the cycle or are you just continuing it?
Isabella… I mean it seems so easy to say…
Seth… Did I not tell you that my statement before seemed incredibly simple but was immensely difficult?
Isabella… Yeah, because it seems so easy to say, alright I won’t be judgmental! I won’t judge.
Seth… But you do because your prior experience tells you, I don’t like this! I don’t want this!
Isabella… Em hmm.
(Jasmine said something not picked up by the tape.)
Seth… Whatever it does not matter. The answer does not matter. It is the prior experience of that does not allow you to work diligently to create a change. The hard work will make each of you a better individual.
Isabella… So, it is really along the lines of and I am not even just talking about dating, I mean just life in general, the idea that you really have to work hard to create or get anything that you want.
Seth… That is the fallacy that most people delude themselves with when they read “The Secret”. I just want!
Isabella… Uh huh,
Seth… You understand my nine points better now? Have you read them? (They are presented here at the bottom as an appendix.)
Isabella… Not all of them, no
Seth… Why not?
Isabella… Because I’ve been busy, but I am going to…
Seth… There is no excuse for being busy.
Isabella… Okay.
Jasmine… (Audio not clear but had to do with the idea that “The Secret” did speak of the concept of work.)
Seth… Yes, it does but it is not implied to…
Isabella… It’s not implied.
Seth… (Not clear but meaning: working) hard enough. One of the reasons why Jasmine, I asked you how you were doing mentally…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… was to create a situation that you had to do work. The typing is the work. It is the ingrained ability that you have not to and I have now come to the inevitable conclusion that you have to! There is no reason that you should ever attend another session without work. And your tendency here is to first start to recapture that which you have let pass you by. Do you understand this?
Jasmine… You mean I am first starting to become self-involved.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… And I have
Seth… And in everything you have that you have said tonight. So therefor if you are becoming self-involved one must then integrate into you, how to make yourself a whole person. And that is the reason why… you’re typing.
Jasmine… Typing was a big turn off for me because…
Seth… Work! Now you understand why it is necessary for you to do the work because you must end a cycle. You must end the idea of I cannot, this goes for everyone. We must end the idea of I cannot and make it into not only I can but I require more. And that is doing your best. That is the idea that will allow you not to fool yourself.
Frank… What do you mean by you require more?
Seth… You require more hard work.
Frank… I require the ability to work harder?
Seth… No. You require more hard work.
Isabella… More challenges.
Stephanie… Like bring it on.
Isabella… Right, it’s the idea of…
Frank… Oh! (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Do you see?
Isabella… It’s the idea of the person, I have too much on my plate, I can’t handle anymore but yet when push comes to shove…
Seth… They do.
Isabella… you can. It’s like you know even with my situation with getting divorced and having to give up the child I…
Seth… You did not give up a child.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Stop that! Do you see how the cycle never ends?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Do you see the delusion that you have now recreated for yourself?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… So, my question is have you worked hard?
Isabella… No.
Seth… No.
Isabella… Not in that area.
Seth… Are you judging yourself by other people’s standards?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Have you done your best?
Isabella… No.
Seth… No. Are you becoming rundown, bored, tired, frustrated?
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… With the whole thing?
Isabella… With this whole issue?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… With the letting go of the family and all that? Yes.
Seth… So therefore, you are fooling yourself. Now continue. So far, you’ve proven my point.
Isabella… Okay, so in the idea that I, you know, you think like, like the tenure situation I was like oh, you know this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It is so bad and then step up to the next thing that happens then it is even worse but you realize you can get through that and then something else happens and you realize you can get through that and you can come out on top and everything that happens really happens for a reason and you know throughout the cycle of my life all of these things that have happened and I have accomplished, not necessarily accomplished but perhaps experienced and overcomed gives you a sense of or a willingness to kind of keep on pushing because you feel like you can do more.
Seth… May I borrow that, thank you. (Seth took the microphone.) Jasmine, how did you end the cycle of leaving her alone and letting her create for herself this evening? This evening! (Jasmine’s response was short but not audible.) No, you did not. Therefore, you will continue to make her dependent upon you and Isabella falls into the role. How did Isabella tell you to stop doing what you were doing? You did what?
Jasmine… (Not clear but short again.)
Seth… That’s correct.
Isabella… Right. (Inaudible.)
Seth… That’s the problem.
Jasmine… (Inaudible.)
Seth… It’s not the issue here. It’s the issue of who you are giving it to.
Jasmine… That’s really the truth. I mean…
Seth… No, no, we are not dealing with your kindness. We are not dealing with kindness here which is where you were coming from. We are dealing with the idea of an interlocking problem. The only way to unlock a door is to use a key. What is the key here that you must use?
Jasmine… The jail for myself.
Seth… Correct and what is the greatest gift a parent can give to a child? The ability to what?
Jasmine… Do it on her own.
Seth… No, to fail! The greatest gift a parent can give to a child is the ability to fail! (This has been stated by Seth many times over the years.)
Jasmine… Well, when the child flies away the child is free to fail.
Seth… That is not the same thing because the rope goes very far. The tether is always there.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue.
(There was conversation that is not clear on the tape but it seemed to center on the idea of making change and Seth stated in good humor, feel free to make a change. Work diligently at it.)
Let us move along, are there any questions?
Isabella… Yeah, I have a few. I’m wondering if you could give me some advice as to how I can start to change that viewpoint of the loss of the family, the house, the child and so forth? Because…
Seth… Ask a simple question.
Isabella… What did I really lose?
Seth… That’s one. How important was it?
Isabella… So, what did I really lose?
Seth… Was the idea important of it?
Isabella… Yes, yes.
Seth… Or was it in reality the loss of the idea important?
Isabella… I guess the loss of the idea.
Seth… Correct. And therefore, are you better with something or without something in this instance?
Isabella… Obviously without.
Seth… Not obviously. I asked you as an individual.
Isabella… Without. Without. It’s hard though because…
Seth… Nobody says things that you gain from are easy.
Isabella… No, you know everyone says obviously you are so much better off without him, this, that whatever.
Seth… It is not a question of being better off without him. What you are grieving for is the loss.
Isabella… Em hmm. But it’s not the loss of him that I am grieving for.
Seth… It is the loss of… (Conversation is overlapping.) I asked you a question and you answered before.
Isabella… Right, the idea.
Seth… It is the loss of the idea that you are grieving for,
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… So, when you understand that the idea has become more important than the fact you can then look at the idea in a different way.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes, that I completely understand.
In regards to opening myself up more with dating and allowing myself to be more accepting…
Seth… If you had never gone on a date.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… How would you approach the date?
Isabella… If I had never gone on a date?
Seth… Ever.
Isabella… Ever, ever?
Seth… You’d be a little nervous, you would be excited, you would be happy because this is your first date.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Approach each date the same way.
Isabella… Okay, that’s a good point. But I…
Seth… No buts.
Isabella… No, because I tend to judge based on who the person it is that I am dating.
Seth… No buts.
Isabella… So, this is to pretend like that I know nothing about the person at all.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Correct and you will discover what you have to discover.
Isabella… Okay. Okay that I understand.
And I’m wondering if you could give me some advice as to…
Seth… I have been on more dates than you have years…
Isabella… the idea of…
Seth… and lifetimes.
Isabella… purchasing the home and…
Seth… Futuristic question, takes away free-will.
Isabella… No, no, I’m asking if you can give some advice as to, I guess, alright so in the idea of leaving my therapist. Can you give me some advice in that area?
Seth… Futuristic question, takes away free-will.
Isabella… Alright then. (Stephanie laughed.)
Seth… Anything else, any other questions?
Notice Jasmine, I am keeping the answers short.
Jasmine… I appreciate it.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Jasmine… Kind of about what I talked about during the break which is that an inability I have at this point to stop eating and I am not sure what’s happening. It began, I think…
Seth… Let me ask you a question.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… The concept of being thin is seen by whose standards? That’s the first question. The second question is I assume you know the painter Rubens, Rubenesque women?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… That’s another question. The idea of eating here and getting yourself, I’m putting quotes here “under control” close quotes is based upon the idea of the difficulty in change you have. You have had difficulty in dealing with Isabella, you have had difficulty dealing with your sister, you have difficulty in dealing with your mother. You have the greatest difficulty in dealing with yourself, so you are looking here for food at the comfort station.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… So, when you look for something at the comfort station then that is in reality not comfortable you then are repeating a cycle of, I need comfort, I’m going to eat but that’s not making me happy, therefore, I’m going to eat to make me happy. So, when you realize that you can make a change by simply stating I’m not going to be defined by other people’s standards of what beauty is, thin is, heavy is, moderate is. You have to be concerned and be truthful to yourself. To yourself! And however, you decide, whatever you decide of how to define yourself, you will then be perfectly satisfied.
Jasmine… Well, I am not happy with the way I am.
Seth… But you are not unhappy enough. You have not made a commitment to hard work, to sincerity to make a change.
Jasmine… I think that’s because of all this emotion stuff swirling around me…
Seth… That’s an excuse. We do not accept the excuse.
Jasmine… that I can’t.
Seth… It is a narrow egocentric viewpoint. You may choose to create that which you choose to create when you choose to create it. And when you decide for example to weigh one hundred and twenty-one point three pounds you will. If you decide to weigh one hundred and seventy-eight pounds you will. It is what you are creating. The difficulty there is to learn the measure of that which you are on, what cycle you are in and when you want to end that uncomfortable cycle and when you choose to end it, it will not matter whether you have had an argument with the man through whom I speak or your mother or your sister or Isabella. You will not worry about how you look in clothing because when you will see yourself, you will always look good to yourself. And when you always look good to yourself the weight will change because you will have chosen to change it. Does that give you a helpful hint?
Jasmine… I think I already knew all that.
Seth… Well then if you knew all of that why are you complaining?
Jasmine… I do have one other quick question. My hair has been bothering me. I think I may have discussed this with you. It’s just thinning and there really is nothing that I can apparently do that is reasonable. I mean I can have a; I can have hair plugs or whatever, but it is very, very costly and Jerry and I don’t want to do that right now, I am just curious as to whether or not…
Seth… Stress and anger and aggravation lead to this.
Jasmine… Well, this has been going on for several years already, I…
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question, I’m sorry to interrupt, have you been angry, under heavy stress and malcontented for a number of years?
Jasmine… Oh yeah.
Seth… Okay.
Jasmine… But that’s not my point. My question was if I had this gynecologic problem which is coming to a head and had to be looked at. A decision had to be made in July, this July. In January I said to myself I am going to change this problem and I visualized, and I apparently changed some because…
Seth… Let me ask you a question, are you not experienced in changing difficult matters?
Jasmine… I’m not so sure.
Seth… How about your breast cancer that you never had?
Jasmine… Yeah, well you said that was something that was going to happen to me if I didn’t make a change.
Seth… And what happened?
Jasmine… I don’t have it, I never had it.
Seth… Therefore, are you experienced in changing difficult things?
Jasmine… Apparently so.
Seth… Therefore, if you are going to create… create!
Jasmine… So, could I, I mean according to what “The Secret” says you know you can ask, you believe, and you receive.
Seth… And how is the reading of “The Secret” coming and how is “The Nature of Personal Reality” coming?
Jasmine… Well, I haven’t gotten there but the…
Seth… No, no, no, no, no. Where is the hard work that is necessary for you to succeed?! Show me.
Jasmine… Okay so the question is with that hard work, with that hard work would I be able to reverse or affect my hair situation? Is that a possibility?
Seth… Did you die?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… You’ve answered your question.
Jasmine… So, could a person can actually somehow create new follicles or…
Seth… When people are dying know that it is a terminal illness and decide that it is not their time to end their incarnation and it spontaneously disappears is that enough of a clue?
Jasmine… So, would you suggest that I visualize myself with fuller, thicker hair?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… And believe that it really would happen?
Seth… Yes, but you also must have hard work to eliminate the stress, the discomfort, the unhappiness that you allow to surround yourself. When you constantly complain you cannot fool the universe.
Jasmine… Complain about anything?
Seth… Anything. Acceptance for you… (Seth tapped the table to indicate to Jasmine to take notes.) Acceptance for you will lead you to a much finer road and you will end the cycle of distress.
Jasmine… Acceptance of everything.
Seth… Acceptance of what is. The word “everything” doesn’t mean anything. You live in the ever-expanding-now, your greatest power is now at the point of where you are.
Jasmine… So, acceptance of?
Seth… Your sister and what she is. Acceptance of your husband and what he is. Acceptance of your girlfriends and what they are. Acceptance of your money situation and what it is. Acceptance of!
Jasmine… And that’s the hard work?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… And when I can do that then my stress will be lowered.
Seth… And you will feel better. And let us assume at that point you have no hair left on your head, none, you will be better, you will be happier, you will be content and it will not matter.
(There was some group chatter.)
Jasmine… What happened to the being able to bring it back?
(Isabella said something that was not clear, and it is also unclear if Seth’s following response was to her at first or Jasmine.)
Seth… I didn’t say that.
Jasmine… Why would you…
Seth… I didn’t say that, I gave you an example. Now the hard work is yours. Kaetorina, you had a question.
Stephanie… I was kind of mulling one over. You know when you say the idea of you know you put an end to something. You know you say it like it’s, you know instantaneous. I know it can be instantaneous, but you understand what I mean.
Jasmine… No, I don’t.
Stephanie… You know you put an end to something, something that you know you have belief systems entrenched in it, you view it in specific ways, it gets validated in fifty other ways and bears out in whatever it is that doesn’t feel good let’s say. And you say well put an end to how you respond and react to that, but nothing has changed there let’s say, sister, mother, whatever you want to say.
Seth… Certainly, major changes have occurred. You are looking at this backwards.
Stephanie… No but I am saying…
Seth… If somebody goes ahead and routinely slaps you, hurts you and you walk into and say give me more they are going to do it again and again.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… If you say that’s the end you will not do that to me again. I will not tolerate that that ends it. Does it not? I don’t want to hear that from you. I don’t want to see that from you. I will not tolerate that. That’s and ending. You’ve ended.
Stephanie… Oh.
Jasmine… So, when I said to my mother, I’m angry at you I will continue to tell you that I am angry?
Seth… That is an ending of accepting the fact that she must say whatever she wants to say to you and you accepting it. Isn’t your stress level diminished because of that?
Jasmine… Yeah, I think now it is, but I was…
Seth… Because it is different. It is different!
Jasmine… I had a terrible day that day. I was…
Seth… So what?
Jasmine… heart-wrenching.
Seth… So what? Nobody said that these things are easy. Hard work! Hard diligent work.
Stephanie… But if you don’t like any of this…
Jasmine… Yes.
Stephanie… That’s just leading me to what my question is. I understand there is change and she is happier because you are ending that dynamic, but you don’t still like, you can’t still, you’re not changing them. They’re just not allowed to do that to you anymore.
Seth… You are changing yourself and how you are reacting to them.
Stephanie… Right, but Paula is the same individual…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… She will be the same mother to…
Seth… No, she cannot be.
Isabella… No, she won’t.
Stephanie… No, she is not going to be the one who is going to use that language and all of that. She’ll be the same mother who has difficulty giving of self.
Seth… So?
Stephanie… So, all I am saying is that she…
Jasmine… But she will continue to speak the same way she speaks to my sister. That will continue.
Stephanie… Right and she is not going to like that…
Seth… So?
Stephanie… That’s not going to feel good and you’re saying you put an end to that pattern.
Seth… Because your ability to react to that pattern has changed.
Stephanie… Yes, but she doesn’t…
Seth… You are accepting…
Stephanie… like that.
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… But you’re saying putting an end to not liking that?
Seth… No, put an end to accepting it.
Stephanie… But how do you know that’s not going to make her unhappy?
Seth… Whose choice is it to be unhappy?
Stephanie… But if she doesn’t, she won’t get the abuse anymore but she’ll, let’s say she is unhappy about the fact that that’s the mother, that’s the sister, that’s what she is not going to get from them…
Seth… Can you…
Isabella… That’s acceptance. You have to accept that.
Frank… Stephanie if you…
Seth… I would have said that but thank you very much.
Stephanie… Right, you are not accepting it.
Frank… Stephanie, are you different, are you different towards your father?
Stephanie… Ah, I don’t even talk to him. (Stephanie laughs.)
Frank… Therefore, you’re different.
Stephanie… Sure.
Frank… Isn’t that different?
Stephanie… Yes, it’s different.
Frank… Is your father the father you wished for?
Stephanie… No.
Frank… Okay there’s the difference.
Stephanie… Right but I don’t like it and…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… and it is unpleasant and terrible.
Seth… So what? You don’t have to like anything!
Frank… But it is better than being a victim.
Stephanie… Yes, I absolutely have no argument there. I’m just stating that…
Seth… You are arguing this because I don’t like something, therefore how is it ending?
Stephanie… No, you’re stating put an end to the repeated pattern of feeling miserable about that you don’t like it.
Seth… No, I never stated that. You stated that.
Stephanie… What you’re stating is if you are in, if you get into a pattern of accepting people…
Seth… If you get into a pattern of accepting somebody hurting you…
Stephanie… No, I don’t, I am not talking about that part of things. I understand all that. I agree with that. That is not what I am saying. The pattern I’m falling into is I don’t like the status of it. I understand I am better off, all this other stuff. I don’t like that the reality is what it is.
Seth… So.
Stephanie… I don’t have to like that.
Seth… Why do you have to like anything?
Stephanie… That doesn’t make me happy.
Seth… Why do you have to be happy if something displeases you? You have to learn to accept what is…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and not be affected by it.
Stephanie… So, if half of my family falls short and I don’t like them…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… That’s easy for you to say. (Laughing.)
Seth… No…
Stephanie… You’re not here.
Frank… No.
Seth… No, that is not the issue.
Frank…. But if you’re wishing for them not to fall short as opposed to saying, I now know that they fall short, I don’t get what I need from them…
Stephanie… Right.
Frank… so what am I going to do? Well, perhaps I will concentrate more on my own family, perhaps I’ll concentrate on what I get from friends, and they won’t fall short. You can’t make somebody else be what you wish.
Stephanie… I know you don’t have to like it.
Frank… It’s the not liking it that is going to make you move in another direction to get what you need.
Stephanie… By those people.
Frank… No, not from those people possibly.
Seth… By not liking it keeps you in a position of want. I want them to.
Betty… Is there a way to look at what you possibly can get? It may not be what you want but it could be something.
Seth… Correct.
Betty… Isn’t it a all or nothing situation and it’s just owning that my expectations may be more than what these people can give but I can get this from them?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… I have a question about meditation.
Seth… Yes, meditations.
Isabella… I am really enjoying them obviously and they are definitely giving me tremendous pleasure. There are moments where I am meditating maybe a beauty meditation and something in my mind will come in that will disrupt the beauty almost to the point of like horror. And…
Seth… Are you worthy of beauty?
Isabella… But it has only happened once or twice.
Seth… It matters not. That is the point, what you then do is you refocus yourself…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… push that away which no longer serves you…
Isabella… Right, which I did.
Seth… and then go on.
Isabella… And I go back to the beauty meditation.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And just every time something like that comes in push it out and then come back to the now.
Seth… And know that you are worthy of beauty.
Isabella… Okay.
I’m curious if you can give me a little bit of insight as to the significance of the happiness and the beauty meditation?
Seth… Not at this point of reference but I will.
Let me leave you with this: You have the ability now to understand that which will make you a better person. The three factors, use them carefully, understand them, factor each one of those ideas into your actions. Remember, one must always speak slowly but think quickly. In doing so you will learn to fulfill your needs, you will give yourself a higher purpose, your wants will lessen and the beauty that surrounds you will shine through. I give you a pleasant good evening.
(Session ended at 10:25)
Seth’s Nine Points Regarding “The Secret”
Seth said the following “The book and movie The Secret are commercially successful since it allows the average soul to gather unto him or herself that which they believe that they want! The author uses the word want in various reference points the first being need or that which one believes that they require and the second being that which they believe that they want. I will explain it from a different level so you as an individual can profit. I have consistently stated the following:”
1. You are what you create. This statement by Seth means that everything that goes on in your existence is caused by your actions. The word action here means the things that you think, say, or do. Therefore, when positive or negative things occur you must take responsibility for them.
2. You are responsible for your own creations. This means that when an event occurs either positive or negative you own it. Therefore, you cannot blame another for anything that has occurred. Subsequently, when something happens that you are dissatisfied with, it is up to you and you alone to take appropriate actions to change that outcome. Remember nothing happens instantaneously and there are no coincidences.
3. Your creations always are in combination with others. Seth has always commented on the fact that “no man is an island”. This means that you are not alone in the universe and therefore all of your creations (events, happenings) are in combination with everyone else’s. Things that you believe only involve you in reality do not, because nothing occurs in a vacuum. This is why when one is having difficulty one must seek assistance from others. What you do affects others, and what others do affects you. Remember there are consequences to all actions, good or bad.
4. You are the star of your own play. This means that no matter how important you think that someone else is to you, you must realize that it is you who makes choices and decisions that directly concern you. No one else can force you to do anything that you truly don’t want to do. You must take responsibility for all that goes on around you because you are running the show. In light of this fact when you are feeling like you are being victimized it is still up to you and you alone to change this reality because you are the star of your own play.
5. The others are the stars of their own play. In other words, this is the direct reverse of number four. No one therefore can blame you for their problems or successes because it is their play, and they are the star.
6. You are a bit player in another’s play. This means that someone else should not make you so important in their lives that you end up responsible for them and their creations. In reality, you only have but a small part in whatever events have occurred to someone else. This does not mean that you are not important or do not have influence with someone else, it just means that they are ultimately responsible for what is going on in their lives.
7. The others are but bit players in your play. This again is the opposite of number six. In other words, you cannot blame someone else for your problems even when they are directly related to them, or you believe they are the cause.
8. The more individual souls that you deal with the greater the complexity of the line of study that you have indeed embarked upon. This means that the bigger your problem becomes, you will notice that more and more individuals become involved in your play. The words line of study means what you are presently dealing with or are interested in whether it’s positive or negative. There are many individuals who are interested or studying the same ideas. They can move in and out of your life depending on what you are bringing into yours. As you work to solve your difficulties you will notice the number of individuals involved become less. For example, have you ever noticed that someone came into your life and helped you work out a problem, even if it took years and when the problem was finally done the person seems to disappear from your life? 9. The law of attraction is dependent upon the other eight factors! One must understand that you cannot simply wish for something to occur. You must take action to make it real. In being able to make a change one must incorporate all of the above in doing so. If you realize that you are unhappy with anything in your life one must ask themselves a question: Why am I attracting this situation? In beginning to solve this one must study self first and only self in order to make a change.
Seth… Good evening. (Someone said something inaudible.) It matters not to me. (Stephanie called for Isabella.) A pleasure to have you tardy people here with me. We will need a working definition and the working definition first will be the idea of prostitute. Therefore, we shall proceed, Kaetorina, what is your definition?
Betty… What was the word? (Everyone said prostitute) for Betty who is on the phone. Prostitute?
Seth… Correct. Go ahead Kaetorina.
Stephanie… The definition?
Seth… Working definition.
Stephanie… Alright, well somebody who sells their body for money.
Seth… Next?
Jasmine… I think that it could be more than just selling a body, it can be anyone who gives up on their own self or ideas or anyone who allows others to take advantage of them.
Seth… Next.
Frank… To sell, to sell something of yourself that’s not appropriate or good for self.
Seth… Next, George.
George… It’s just selling what should not be sold in order to promote yourself and take care of yourself.
Isabella… The giving away of self to someone else, the idea of losing who you are in order to I guess make somebody else like you or appreciate you.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… To kind of sell yourself short in a way that goes against either your principles or your core beliefs.
Seth… With that being stated we shall move on. The second and we will possibly get to the third idea of what makes you an individual is the idea of sincerity. When one needs to change one must have a sincere belief that the change is vital. In other words, you want the change to sponsor that which promotes you. It is quite common that most individuals lie, deceive themselves, foster false beliefs upon others as well as themselves and yet these same people have a belief when challenged that they are sincerely trying to change. Too many individuals prostitute themselves by deceiving the self of its rightful place. The question arises is it not true that you have lied to obtain something that you did not need? I have stated before that there is an old expression that the wanting of something is often more important than the getting it or receiving it. Each of you must sincerely learn to examine your own actions. How do you define yourself? And please note that the way you define yourself is the way others see you and treat you. One cannot sincerely make a profitable change when one is not honest in their attempts to foster a difference between that which they are and that which they choose to become. One cannot succeed without effort. When one attempts to bring to themselves that which they “need” the reality is that you are reinforcing the wanting of that which you do not have. You then prostitute yourself and sell your own dignity and believability for the idea of obtaining something.
Stephanie… What was the end of that?
Seth… Of obtaining something.
Isabella… Selling your own dignity and the ability (believability)?
Stephanie… For the idea.
Seth… For the idea of obtaining something. Most individuals deceive themselves with their own lies by creating a scenario that “justifies” their actions. This is obviously not sincere change. You cannot become a person with the above actions, you are lacking in integrity to the most important individual that you know!
There are always
Isabella… There are always?
Seth… There are always, tell me when ready. There are always underlying causes for your actions. When you desire or want something that seems to be out of reach, when you believe you need to seek revenge upon someone else it is then obvious that you cannot proceed along this line of study without making sincere changes. One must pause to reflect what the real difficulties are. How often do you give yourself a chance to reflect on your actions, especially the deceitful ones? How often have you apologized in the truer sense to those you have victimized for the want of something else? Your core belief systems are so covered up that you cannot face the difficulties that surround them. You tend to run away; you do not fight for self. We shall pause. (The phone had rung.)
When one does not battle for themselves, you define yourself as lacking. The question arises if you define yourself in this matter what are you telling first yourself and through yourself the universe as well as others? It is far too easy for most individuals to run away, to deceive themselves than to stay and face difficulty. The syndrome of I want it my way is paramount in these individuals. They chastise others routinely for imaginary difficulties. It is far easier for them to point their fingers at others than it is to look into a mirror. The hard work that is necessary that will allow sincere change to take place and for you to develop into an individual that will stand on his/her own creations is impossible due to the fact that the delusion of hard work has been overshadowed by self-righteous indignation: I will have my way!
Each individual shuns the knowledge that others have about them. They cannot or will not allow someone else to criticize, ask simple questions or require work from this type of an individual. They clearly point out what they have done yet they have no true identity or plan for the future. Their true identity is lost in the myriads of events that they create. They latch onto ideas without the ability to comprehend the idea itself. They of course believe that they are doing tremendous work. They enjoy pointing out how far they have come. Yet they resent anyone who states you have a far way to go. Most of these individuals can list every single hurt that they have suffered at the hands of others. Yet in truth they have learned little or nothing, they are always wanting.
When one makes a sincere change, the change itself is the profit. How open and honest are you? How receptive are you to looking at your own actions? Is it easier for you to run away than it is to stop and to think about that which is necessary for you to attempt to conquer the challenge that faces you? When you find yourself pitying the situation that you are in, you forget that you are responsible, that you created this situation. The universe provides you with that which you create! How do you define yourself? Which path should I be on? How often do I truly reflect upon my own actions? These are the type of questions that lead you to make sincere changes. Have you asked yourself, where do you see yourself next week? Have you planned for a better you or are you just worried about that which you are? Ask yourself, are you a prostitute? And how have you sold yourself to the ever-changing winds of desire? These ideas are not to be taken lightly. They are signposts that each individual must eventually face.
Where am I going? And how shall I get there? Stop and think, become honest with yourself and whatever changes you make, make sure that they are honorable ones. Apologize for your mistakes by (for) lying and deceiving others to get what you believe that you want.
Jasmine… Apologize?
Seth… To others.
Jasmine… For lying?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… It started with apologize for your mistakes.
Frank… And what?
Seth… And lying.
Isabella… To get what you want?
Seth… To get what you believe you want. I added the word “believe”. That is a form of prostitution (lying and deceiving). These are the challenges that face each individual who truly wants to make a sincere change. Your growth will make you a better person. (There was more discussion to get notes correct.)
You will type it. (Unclear who that was directed to, but later Isabella is directed to type.)
Be careful, be observant, understand, be sincere and your growth will surprise you.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:19 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: Are there any questions?
Isabella… Can you just clarify what we were just talking about?
Seth… I believe you have all the information there and the statements are made so that you are required to do thinking. Nothing is so simple as getting an answer. Nothing is more incorrect than receiving one. Are there anymore questions there?
Stephanie… You didn’t speak to the motivation of the person who is doing all this. What’s…?
Seth… That’s the sincerity. If you choose to truly make a change…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… your motivations are clear.
Stephanie… So, then what you are saying is if a person is operating this way then you truly don’t want to make a change?
Seth… No, you do not. How many individuals that you know who constantly profess I’m unhappy?
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… This is not correct; I just don’t understand why this always keeps happening to me. Do they truly want to make a change? The answer is no, they are not honorable. They are not motivated to do something. Though they start out with the best of intentions but their stick-to-itiveness, if you will falls away.
Stephanie… Well, why does the unhappiness not, why is that not enough of a motivator?
Seth… Because unhappiness is never enough of a motivator. There is no excessive need to change. I am a little unhappy today; I will be a little happier tomorrow. It is an acceptance of the status quo. You see this with your own patients routinely.
Stephanie… Right, if somebody is professing, I am extremely unhappy, I can’t stand this…
Seth… Because extremely unhappy means I have to work hard, and we will deal with the hard work at our next meeting and that is the third portion of how to become a better person.
Stephanie… So, if my patient Lisa for example she is refusing to work hard…
Seth… We will deal with that next week. Hard work comes next week; it means you have to come back.
Frank… Oh well.
Seth… Are there any other questions? (There was some discussion with Frank saying that he thought he had a question that would be covered by hard work topic next session.)
Jasmine… I have a question about sincerity. How does one gauge whether or not their efforts or their work is really sincere?
Seth… The answer is right there before your eyes, Jasmine. Have you noticed that things repeat themselves?
Jasmine… Yeah, I did notice, patterns do repeat themselves.
Seth… If things that are difficult for you constantly repeat themselves, it is a clear indication that you are not being sincere in your efforts to make a change. In other words, if somebody goes ahead and slaps you.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… And you say to them please don’t do that and the next time you see them they slap you again and you say please don’t do that and after it happens for the seventy fourth time and you repeat yourself again please don’t do that how sincere were your true efforts?
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… You understand?
Jasmine… I understand that.
Seth… The first time you go ahead and somebody that slaps you, you go ahead and either prevent them from ever doing it again. You walk away, you get the police, you do something. You are to tell the person as you told your mother I am not going to play second fiddle anymore! I am not going to take this. That is a sincere effort. Everything that came before that statement was a deception. Therefore, one may look at this in the largest sense possible and say for the last thirty-five years you have accomplished nothing because you allowed things to occur over and over and over again without making a sincere effort to stop them. And when you made a sincere effort to stop them you now have the ability that if it happens again, say I told you I will not put up with this. You have laid the background.
Jasmine… Okay that’s one issue, an area that I need to work on.
Seth… Not necessarily you. I could say the same thing about Isabella in her actions and the lies and deceits that go along with actions of all of you. But go ahead.
Jasmine… Well, I’m just looking at the things that you know I’m trying to work on that I’ve discussed with you, with Stephanie about you know the most important things I need to do to make change in this incarnation and you know I guess I’m just wondering when you know that what you are doing is a sincere effort? It’s not…
Seth… When the patterns stops.
Jasmine… But the pattern of what? In other words, in this case the pattern of what was the result of not doing what I should have been doing?
Seth… When you make a statement, we’ll use the one I gave you…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… You are not going to treat me like this again. If it occurs again and it is most likely that it will and when you learn to read “The Nature of Personal Reality” you will understand why things reoccur. You will then have it within your grasp to say to somebody I told you I am not to be treated in this manner.
Jasmine… I understand that perfectly.
Seth… Therefore, the pattern will stop when you stand up for self.
Jasmine… I understand that one but there are other areas that I am trying to make headway.
Seth… Go ahead.
Jasmine… This is what I am trying to talk to you about in doing for self and not asking for help, you know how, do you know when those things are…
Seth… When people start appreciating what you are doing and but more than that when you appreciate yourself for doing.
Jasmine… That’s what I thought you would say. Kind of I knew it, I had the answer. Like when I brought in all the chairs from the trunk, I felt good about it myself.
Seth… Give us a moment… was your job complete?
Jasmine… No, I had to go; no, they should have gone downstairs.
Seth… By who?
Jasmine… Didn’t matter really at that point to me; I couldn’t take them down at that point, my back was hurting.
Seth… Did you have to do immediately?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… Could you have not have said to let’s say Isabella we are going to take them downstairs? Could you have not said to her leave them for me I’d rather do it myself?
Jasmine… I could have said that.
Seth … And if you had the onus of doing was now shifted from her to you but if she did it anyway it shows a sign of love and appreciation, and you would have grown more.
Jasmine… But I didn’t ask anyone to take those chairs down for me.
Seth… It is not a question of asking for someone to take them down, it is the statement I will do this. The “I” becomes, the self becomes more important.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… That is not a criticism; it is an explanation of how you could have felt better about you. Yet let us assume that you would have said to Isabella please don’t touch the chairs, I’ll take them down and she took them down anyway out of a courtesy or a kindness or a loving action. Would you have not felt better about yourself if somebody did for me? Even when I told them not to?
Jasmine… Would I have felt better about me?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… I think I would have just; I would have just extremely appreciated it.
Seth… Does that not make you feel better about self when someone does something for you?
Jasmine… I guess.
Seth… That’s all it is. And that is why the statement I will do it myself would have been more important. I’m not diminishing at all that you took the chairs out. I’m just trying to give you the last piece of information that you needed.
Jasmine… Right but I didn’t ask anyone to take those chairs back.
Seth… I’m not saying tht you should have asked. I’m saying you should have stated don’t.
Isabella… You did ask me to carry them in from the car.
Jasmine… Because you were out there already.
Isabella… Right. (Unclear.)
Jasmine… Because you were out there.
Isabella… No.
Jasmine… Yes, you were.
Seth… It matters not.
Jasmine… (Said something else that was unclear.)
Seth… But do you understand where I am leading you here?
Jasmine… Yes, not one hundred percent.
Seth… What do you not understand?
Jasmine… No that’s alright, I sleep with it.
Seth… Perfectly fine, are there any other questions?
Isabella… So, I am trying to figure out exactly what I am deceiving myself with? Am I deceiving myself into believing that I am not happy without having a significant person in my life?
Seth… True.
Isabella… So, is that what my deception is? Is that the lies that I am telling myself?
Seth… Everything goes about how you are defining yourself.
Isabella… Because that I could, that’s palpable for me. If I’m lying and deceiving myself into believing that I can’t possibly be happy without somebody else in my life, I can handle that. And I can…
Seth… That is absolutely factual.
Isabella… And then I can work on that.
Seth… How do you define you?
Isabella… I don’t know how I define myself.
Seth… When you find that out you will find that part of what your statements…
Isabella… I’m being honest; I really don’t know how I define myself!
Seth… I understand that and I am stating as you define yourself…
Isabella… Em.
Seth… you will find that your last statement…
Isabella… Sometimes I…
Seth… which was palpable for you…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Let me finish, will be included in that. Think about the lies and the deceitful nature of what you have done recently, all to define yourself in certain ways which were certainly not appropriate.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm. Um, (Long pause trying to remember what she was going to ask.)
Seth… Why don’t you pass the microphone over to someone else and we continue on and then we can come back? Are there any other questions? (Pause.) Have it yet?
Isabella… So, in the idea that I am deceiving myself, in the repeated patterns, oh okay I remember now. In the repeated pattern of men and relationships in my life I feel that I’ve become the chameleon in every relationship, and I have lost who I am or prostituted who I am in the sense to make the relationship work and in order to be the person who I believe that they wanted me to be, correct?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… That’s the repeated pattern.
Seth… The need for them.
Isabella… The need for them to love me and I became whoever I believed that it was important for them in order to love me.
Seth… Let me ask you a question, give us a moment. Remember the motion picture “The Runaway Bride”?
Isabella… Well, that’s not…
Seth… (Unclear.)
Isabella… Right.
Seth… What does that tell you about you?
Isabella… That I, I was just thinking “The Runaway Bride” that was what was in my head, but you obviously knew… That’s what I was going to say when I couldn’t remember, I said it was important, it was important it was the idea of “The Runaway Bride”. So, when I, so the deceitfulness, the lying to my… really lying to myself and deceiving myself into becoming someone else…
Seth… Because you’re not sincere.
Isabella… Because I am not sincere to who I am.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And in the relationships that I’ve had lately, of the most significant relationships I’ve had lately, not just with men obviously but with females, relationships as well I am true to who I am. So those are the reasons I’ve always really tend to be working the best.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, if I can continue along that pattern of change then this other pattern of bringing people into my life that I feel like that I need to be the chameleon won’t stick with me.
Seth… Remember when I told you earlier how important this session was to you?
Isabella… Right, am I on the right track with the lies and deceptions? It’s not even…
Seth… And when you type this one up you will find that it is even more important. Go ahead.
Isabella… No, that I was just…
Seth… I’m just making sure Frank doesn’t ask any questions, (said humorously.)
Isabella… I was just trying to figure out exactly how I deceive myself and …
Seth… You deceive yourself by not allowing your self…
Isabella… To be myself.
Seth… to be you.
Isabella… So, it’s not that I’m necessarily at this juncture, not necessarily deceiving myself in the idea that I am trying to change, if the idea that…
Seth… You’re not trying to change. That’s very clear.
Isabella… Why is that?
Seth… Because if patterns that repeat themselves are not trying to change.
Isabella… Patterns… well… I guess the pattern has repeated but, (Laughs.) But at least I am aware of it now. Is that the first step towards sincere change?
Seth… Awareness is always necessary before anything can occur. And the question is what do you do with that awareness? Do you use that awareness to shrink the void that’s within you or do you use that awareness as a camouflage system since you don’t have to work hard, that if you don’t have to work then you run away.
Isabella… I don’t understand that at all.
Seth… Do you use your awareness of a problem to cover up the problem?
Isabella… How would one do that?
Seth… By pretending that it is not important. By pretending it’s not there. You are aware of the problem adequately, yet you use that awareness for quite a long time to just make believe that you are lacking so you continue to lack.
Frank… Do you remember the grass cloth? (The audio is unclear, but Frank was talking to Isabella about the concept of camouflaging by covering up. A void like a hole in the ground is noticed or experienced, it is often painful, and one does not want to face making a change. Instead of doing the work of filling in the void or hole one covers it up like with a grass cloth and forgets it. Inevitably the person falls back into the hole and the process begins again until real change is made.)
Jasmine… He’s saying awareness of.
Frank… At first you are aware…
Seth… You are aware and then you pretend it is not there. For example, Jasmine, have you not been aware that your mother cast you in the role of the second sister? (Jasmine probably nodded.) For how long?
Jasmine… Long.
Seth… Please show me, except for the last recent statement which I mentioned, what you’ve done about that awareness? You’ve done nothing therefore you’ve covered it over. You used it not to shrink the voids and eliminate it as you did recently. What you did was camouflaged by I will be better, I will work harder, I will show her, I will do.
Jasmine… I always knew that, but I didn’t know it. (Not completely clear.)
Seth… Sure, you did.
Jasmine… I knew it but…
Seth… You did it by trying to become something that you are not.
Jasmine… No, I didn’t.
Seth… Really? How often did you go out of your way to see your mother when you didn’t want to? (Again, the audio here is poor. Jasmine said essentially that she didn’t do anything that she did not want to. The point of this whole passage was that Jasmine was made second fiddle but did not do anything about it, in fact covering it up. This kind of defensive system Seth calls a camouflage system is extremely common yet is not spoken about in this way. This is very important information. F.N.) Yes you did. How often did you call your mother when you don’t want to? (Jasmine inaudible.) That is all part of the same story. (Jasmine inaudible.) How often have you said to the man through whom I speak when are you going to make dinner for my parents if they come? And that has gone on for years. It’s all a cover up, all a pretend. Harder to look at it when it is explained that way is it not? (Jasmine inaudible but saying something about being aware of the second fiddle status.) And what have you done about it? The answer was to try to pretend that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was by trying to create something to fill it up with. I will have you for dinner; I will make a better dinner. I will do this. I will do that. (Jasmine inaudible.) That is what you believe, that is not factual.
Jasmine… Well, I don’t really need to do that… (unclear.)
Seth… That is not the issue. That is not the issue. Are there any other questions?
Isabella… So, in the situation with my, the relationships that I bring into my life, the repeated pattern of always being…
Seth… Needy.
Isabella… Needy and the victim, that’s the repeated pattern?
Seth… Some of them. There are others that you are still missing. You will find them when you work hard enough.
Isabella… But those are the biggest ones.
Seth… Does it matter?
Isabella… (Laughs.) Well, I want to work on them so if I am not aware of them…
Seth… When you find them, you can become aware.
Frank… The not facing that situation is usually the fear of it’s just too hard, too big…
Seth… Too hard, too big, too difficult…
Frank… Or I am unable?
Seth… I am unable, it’s not within my power, it’s the other person’s problem, all these are issues.
Frank… Because there’re all the same.
Seth… Always all the same thing. Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: How often have you prostituted yourself in the attempt to fulfill your needs? Sincerity allows you to become a person. It allows growth and will give you profit; your wants will be lessened, and your enjoyment of self will truly be magnified. A hardy good evening to all.
Saying Yes to the Universe Versus Railing Against It
Tuesday June 17, 2008
8:25 p.m.
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you here again. We shall continue our plodding along under our subject of Change. Just under a general housekeeping question, how have each of you done with some of the bits of enlightenment that I gave you in terms of things that you had not been looking at, have you been studying them? Have you been dealing with them? This comes from obviously the lecture that I purposely did not have taped because I felt it was far too personal.
Kaetorina, you would like to start? (To Isabella.) Please feel free.
Isabella… Alright, well I’ve been very diligent about doing the homework and reading my essay and your lecture about you know self-worth and I still had a very difficult time this week. In fact…
Seth… Why do you believe that you should not have had a difficult time? Let’s start with that question.
Isabella… Because I felt that I was on… that this was going to help me be able to conquer some difficult times. For example, Father’s Day being hard for me.
Seth… I didn’t realize that you were a father.
Isabella… No, but it was the idea of parenting and…
Seth… One must always look at the idea of when things are difficult, are you creating the difficulty out of I feel sorry for myself situation or is the situation out of control? Meaning you do not have control over the situation and in this instance what you are describing is the idea here that you are going to go ahead and to make absolutely certain that you feel sorry for yourself. And in feeling sorry for yourself you put yourself at a disadvantage to you because you cannot function when you are looking at a situation, this goes for everyone by the way, you cannot function when you are looking at a situation in an inferior or difficult place. In other words, if you are wringing your hands and saying, “Oh, God help me, I cannot, I don’t understand what’s going on.” Well then of course you have a situation where no matter what you try or anyone else tries you are not going to function.
Isabella… Right, I felt like I really wasn’t functioning well, obviously that day and maybe it was a little bit having to do with feeling sorry for myself. The idea of…
Seth… And you also have not gotten rid of your anger.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, until you get rid of your anger you are not going to do well.
Isabella… But is my anger channeled in the right area? I don’t feel angry at him; I feel angry at the loss.
Seth… No, you are still not even looking at the correct terminology here and the idea is that when you discover what your true anger is you will be far better off.
Isabella… And you are not going to help me with that?
Seth… Not at all, that’s for you to discover, that’s free will.
Isabella… So now can you give me any advice as to how I can continue to work on this concept of self-worth and this idea of not being afraid of being alone?
Seth… Well first of all, what does the word, “alone” mean to you?
Isabella… The word “alone” to me means “loser”.
Seth… Interesting, so in other words if you went ahead and decided, let us assume for any matter to stay home on a Thursday evening but the man through whom I speak and Jasmine were going out, does that make you a loser?
Isabella… On a Thursday evening? No.
Seth… Would it make a difference if it were a Friday evening?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Show me how?
Isabella… Because that’s a weekend.
Seth… Show me what difference it makes other than the fact that it is a different day.
Isabella… Because I don’t have to get up the next day to get to work so I can go out with friends. Those are typically days that you would go out.
Seth… No, you could typically go out with a friend whether you had work or no work. You could see someone for a shorter period of time. What you are telling me here is that you would never have, quotes here a “date” on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.
Isabella… No, that’s not what I am saying.
Seth… Yes, you just did because you made a differentiation between the days.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… So therefore, you are a loser in the first portion of what you just said. It’s a Thursday night, you’re a loser.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Show me how that is factual?
Isabella… That I am a loser?
Seth… Yeah.
Isabella… I’m not a loser on that…
Seth… Then the answer is you are not a loser on Friday either, are you?
Isabella… No, but there is a difference between a weekend.
Seth… Show me how.
Isabella… Because those are days designated usually…
Seth… Who designates them?
Isabella… Everybody, Society.
Seth… Oh, the god on high has designated Friday and Saturday as holy days?
Isabella… Not that they’re holy days but those are the days in general when you are a working individual that you would use to go out with peers.
Seth… And so, you do not go out with peers on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday?
Isabella… I’m not saying that I don’t.
Seth… Then, therefore your statement has no validity.
Isabella… Okay, I understand what you are saying about the fact of the concept of being alone equaling being a loser; that is a deep imbedded core belief that I have.
Seth… And so, I am asking you to examine your core belief by reading the lecture, by going ahead and finishing reading “The Secret”, by rereading the idea of the notes I gave you on that lecture, am I correct?
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… And therefore, you are expecting a miracle to take place.
Isabella… Instant change.
Seth… And things don’t work out that way. You have to learn to be patient and diligent and work at things because if everybody had the concept of instant change as their mantra, well then of course everybody would go ahead and just be ridiculously foolish, I can change therefore it doesn’t matter what I do.
Finished? Pass it along.
Arthur… I did some things, I worked on self esteem in terms of having fun, of doing things for myself, spending time with a friend, buying clothes, doing a fast and a cleanse.
Seth… Do you feel better?
Arthur… I feel somewhat better.
Seth… That’s a change. We will accept that pass it along.
Frank… I’ve been looking at some of the concepts. On Sunday I noticed that I played excellent tennis but yet I still didn’t enjoy it because of my perfectionistic ways.
Seth… Walk out of the forest and hit the little yellow ball.
Frank… And I looked at some of the aspects of me being sometimes overly competitive. I’ve worked diligently on getting things done so that I can do those other things that I like to.
Seth… In other words, you are taking very tiny baby steps to attempt to have fun. Remember, it is the having of the fun that matters here, not how you play.
Frank… I understood that well enough afterwards and during when it was a little bit too late, but I understand.
Seth… Keep working at it. Jasmine?
Jasmine… Well, I read the session many, many times, more than you even told me to read; you told me to read it every other night, every other day.
Seth… You’re pretty much reading it every other day.
Jasmine… Pretty much every day and of course reading my steps in my program and what I find very helpful is that it is obvious that the reading of it so frequently is a constant reminder to the self of what you need to do to see, you know the improvement of the self to work on the cause which is the improvement or betterment of the self. And so now I’m often thinking like, I can do this, I can do this now, I can take care of that, I’ll do that.
Seth… And so, what is your value judgment to yourself?
Jasmine… Well, I feel a lot better about myself in these last few days.
Seth… And the idea of pushing oneself…
Jasmine… Oh, and I am pushing.
Seth… The idea of pushing oneself will give you strength that you do not understand. You cannot define the word for yourself at this point of reference. And because you can’t define the word at this point of reference then what you must do and understand is the simple fact that through all of this pushing yourself whether it means extending yourself in what you do around your home, what you go ahead and do in terms of playing, what you do in terms of work and studying makes a large difference in how you are going to feel about you.
Jasmine… Well, for example today I was absolutely exhausted because I had played eighteen holes of golf which I never play and then played Bridge and everybody was still playing and I said, “I’m sorry but this has to be my last hand.”
“Why?”
“Because, I have to go to the grocery store.”
“You’re going to the grocery store, now? You’re leaving Bridge to go to the grocery store?”
I said, “Yeah, I have to get some things.”
Seth… So, you felt good about yourself, didn’t you?
Jasmine… Well… (Stephanie laughs and then Frank.) I felt that I had to go, it wasn’t that I wanted to go.
Seth… How did you feel when you accomplished your task?
Jasmine… I felt good about accomplishing the task, but I was so tired.
Seth… So, let me ask you a question, how do you define the idea that “I am so tired” as being bad?
Jasmine… Umm… I guess that some how it connects to not being good… I don’t know how.
Seth… But do you realize that is part of your larger problem?
Jasmine… About being tired?
Seth… It is the “Do for me syndrome”. You fix it, you do for me, you make it right.
Jasmine… That doesn’t have anything to do with me being tired.
Seth… Of course, it does. It absolutely does and when you understand that you will be far further along then you can imagine.
Jasmine… I think it may have to do with being lazy or designating roles and maybe sometimes tired, but I think when you are tired with good reason to be tired sometimes it’s okay to ask your partner for help as…
Seth… We are not dealing with help we are not dealing with anything else we are dealing with you and how you handle certain things. I believe that is the true issue.
Kaetorina?
Stephanie… I think there are probably two things that I did that helped me, one was pretty major having to do with Peter where I was trying to let things go and not look for things and move into some acceptance and I definitely feel much, much better about that I feel like that I am a little bit out of a jail there. Still, you know it’s hard but I am in a better place with it and the idea of not procrastinating about confronting or re-confronting somebody when necessary, so I did do that with my sister, it didn’t go well but I did it. Other than that, that’s it.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… I’ve gone down my list. I’ve been going to yoga. I have been sticking up for myself again going back to Father’s Day with family with my bossy sister-in-law, so I’m… but it is still comes across to me as going through the motions.
Seth… When one practices a skill is it not truthful that one does go through the motions?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Until you make it a part of you.
Betty… What’s missing, I guess from practicing other skills is some sense of either satisfaction, I just feel like I’m forcing myself to go through the motions still.
Seth… And in the beginning, you certainly should.
Betty… Okay.
Seth… George?
George… (Said something about the assignment from last week.) I had to make a list of things to do to get myself organized so the first one was, to make a set schedule for slots of time everyday or every week to devote to different studying, papers. The second thing is to schedule times during the week for physical and personal things as well. By figuring a more elaborate filing system to get a better handle on all the aspects of paperwork, make a chart to keep track of all the journals that I am responsible for having done every month. Along with maintain a clean and organized living space more diligently. Also set up a binder for cover sheets organized by year along with papers I am responsible for. Not stop article or chapter I am reading until I finish that chapter. Not start new projects until my current projects are finished. Work on a more accurate budget with my expenses every month. (George said something about meditating every day.)
Seth… First it was supposed to be fifteen, but we’ll leave that go. Second, remember this that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. So now that you have a plan one must start to implement it. And we will discuss next week what you have specifically done to implement that plan.
All this being said let us now go back to our idea of Change.
One of the great difficulties here that one has is the idea that events, if you will, may not always be to your liking. There are things that occur that cause great strife whether it be some of the ideas that each of you have about what is positive or negative within your spheres of influence. One tends to concentrate on areas that give each of you difficult solutions at best to the event itself. Examples here abound, the individual who is suddenly tossed out of work, a mother who has problems with a child. These type of difficulties while unpleasant are necessary for your growth and development. Now, the idea here is that one must learn to say yes to the universe. You must be appreciative of all events.
Isabella… May I ask a question?
Seth… Certainly, go ahead.
Isabella… That’s a very hard concept.
Seth… I know we are getting to it.
Now, let us examine this concept, when one rails against what you would believe is a negative event such as losing one’s job, not expecting something good to happen. You proceed in a negative fashion. When you perceive something that is not going to go your way, it doesn’t. The ballplayer who comes up against a pitcher who routinely gives him trouble should never say to himself, this pitcher and I don’t get along well, he always crucifies me.
Jasmine… I can see that, I can understand that but there are things such as my son’s accident so in order to be appreciative of that event or Isabella’s divorce or those kinds of events as opposed to the way you perceive something and believing how it’s going to turn out bad, to me those are different things. I think what you said to me was you have to see with eyes, you have to…
Isabella… Hear with eyes that do not see.
Jasmine… Right, is that… (Phone ringing.)
Seth… Would you like to answer your phone?
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… I shall pause.
Jasmine… Comments?
Seth… I understand them completely, do you understand?
Jasmine… Yeah, so am I right in that?
Seth… No, you are a hundred percent wrong.
Jasmine… Alright, let me just repeat what I said, that I agree, I don’t think I am disagreeing with anything. I am simply saying that…
Seth… You’re saying it is very difficult when it comes to a very personal nature to understand and appreciate what you would consider a horrible event.
Jasmine… Correct, except you have to see with ears that can’t hear and whatever that expression is. (Isabella laughs.) I can never get that right.
Seth… Let us look at the situation…
Jasmine… Isn’t that the way to do it?
Seth… There are many avenues, many roads you may take to accomplish this type of a task. When you rail against the universe, when you complain, in your experience how successful is and are the complaints?
Jasmine… Not successful.
Seth… So, since it is not successful one must then understand that all the complaining, all the whining that ninety-nine percent of individuals do is in reality worthless.
Jasmine… Where does the complaining fit in?
Seth… Why did this happen to my son? I can’t believe that my daughter’s husband walked out on her. Why did this have to happen? Should I be angry at him? I don’t understand how you could do this to me. Does that about fit the conversation well?
Jasmine… And complaining isn’t successful. (Jasmine writing to herself.) Well, that’s what I’m saying. You can’t rail against the universe.
Seth… No, but that’s what you do. You’re trying to try to justify the not saying a positive when the negative is the only thing you can see and deal with.
Jasmine… Right, you have to say something positive about…
Seth… And it may not be saying something positive.
Jasmine… and believing it.
Seth… It is the idea here that no matter how difficult things are one must be able to look at and understand the very nature of the event itself. If one could look into the future and examine the divorce situation and on a hypothetical idea find out that in three years from now the daughter would meet and eventually marry a kind man who provided for her and gave her the things that she required and she had learned from the divorce proceedings to love and nurture in a proper manner and she wouldn’t have to fear being alone and if the only thing she ever accomplishes in this incarnation is to learn not to fear being alone was the divorce a positive influence, the answer must be yes.
Jasmine… What does that have to do with if one could look into the future?
Isabella… Because then you are seeing what the result is.
Seth… Then you are seeing what the result is.
Isabella… And in three years from now I would marry someone…
Jasmine… I heard that.
Isabella… that was a hundred times better than my previous situation.
Jasmine… Right.
Isabella… So, it is that same idea of what’s good, what’s bad.
Jasmine… Yeah, that’s, I understand that, but I don’t know why you brought that up as an example. I mean…
Seth… Did you not bring up as an example when things are not good you mentioned your son’s accident and your daughter’s divorce?
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… I just answered the fact about your daughter’s divorce.
Jasmine… That… did you give us an answer?
Seth… I just did.
Jasmine… You told us that sometime in the future…
Seth… No, I said hypothetically speaking.
Jasmine… (Laughing.) Well, that’s what I am saying.
Isabella… He’s not going to give you a futuristic answer.
Jasmine… I know that. (Laughs.)
Frank… Jasmine wants to go “Woo, woo” and do a victory lap around the table. (Jasmine laughing.)
Isabella… Yeah, you only have three more years to wait.
Jasmine… Look at how negatively you just took that, I took it as a great thing.
Isabella… I didn’t take it negatively at all.
Jasmine… Oh, I thought that was sarcastic.
Isabella… (Talking at the same time said something about not taking it as real.) How is he going to give us real information about that? He can’t take away my free will.
Jasmine… I know, I just don’t understand why that’s an example.
Isabella… Because it’s saying that the idea is it could end up being more positive.
Jasmine… It could, the good, the bad…
Isabella… And it will, you can’t just say…
Frank… More than could, it is the opportunity to.
Isabella… Right.
Frank… Without the divorce, she would not have this opportunity. What a wonderful thing!
Jasmine… To work on this and to meet somebody better.
Frank… Correct.
Isabella… And now I get all that but while we are on the topic of me.
Seth… Have we ever been off the topic of you? (Group Laughter.)
Isabella… Can you give me some insight into the loss of the child? Because that’s what I seem to be struggling with more than anything else.
Seth… What, I have answered this, give us a moment, in fourteen different ways.
Isabella… But how, how am I supposed to view that in a positive?
Seth… Very simple, if you had continued on the course that you did and since you did not really lose anything, again this must be a hypothetical.
Isabella… I understand that.
Seth… But if you look at it as the idea of that you terminated something, the question is what did you really lose? And the answer here is aggravation, annoyance, poverty, constant sources of the irritation, dealing with people who do not like you, dealing with people who did not want you around, going ahead and becoming frustrated, okay, with the idea of why can’t you do for me because you should, this is your child. Do I have to give you a further list than the eight things I have just previously mentioned?
Isabella… No, that pretty much covers it.
Seth… I thought it would do you a world of good to hear that. So, the fact is that is the idea so when one, write this down please, so when one rails against the universe and refuses to look at the idea that even the unknown can be a positive influence in your existence. These are the things that you must understand. It is the acceptance of what is that allows change to occur. The refusal to accept in a positive manner an event tends to prevent change. (Frank and then Jasmine asked for material to be repeated.) As previously stated, when you rail against an event and get angry, how successful has anyone ever been doing that? The answer is no one. No one is successful.
One must understand when events happen that you do not like, when things seem out of place the tendency here is to examine and over-examine that which is occurring. One must understand that if you let events bypass you, another way to accept it is to roll off your back you will then give yourself the ability to look at and study that which surrounds you.
Now, no one would be foolish enough to look at and be happy with a difficult or unpleasant situation and I have not in this lecture said or even intimated that one should. It is very difficult not to become involved with events that at best seem unpleasant. They are like a magnet that pulls you towards the event itself and just as a magnet has two poles, the closer one gets to the event the greater the likelihood of having the magnet reverse polarity, having the magnet reverse polarity and then you become disenfranchised or pushed away from the negative event itself. What next happens since no resolution has taken place you then have the magnet reverse its polarity again and the universe provides another opportunity for you to solve this negative crisis.
Jasmine… In other words, just the pushing or being pushed or disenfranchised away from the negative event is not the solution? It’s not the…
Seth… It never is the solution to the event.
Jasmine… Oh, so okay.
Frank… That’s a sense of being knocked on your ass by the event?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… You may be, you may not be, you may just walk away from it but in reality, you have been pushed away.
Jasmine… But nothing has been solved.
Seth… Correct, nothing has been solved and because nothing has been solved what have you learned the answer is again, nothing. One must allow for the fact that the push and pull of negative events allows you ample opportunity for study.
Jasmine… The push and pull?
Seth… The push and pull of negative events allows you ample opportunity for study.
So, the question arises which is better the individual who allows a negative event to bypass him or roll off his back or her back and studies that negative event and appreciates it and says yes to the universe is far better off then the individual who becomes annoyed or bothered or angry with a situation and fights against what is in reality a learning experience. One can then look back at anyone’s difficulties and see how often the universe has provided ample opportunity for you to “let go” of the problem.
Jasmine… You only let go of the problem if you study it, if you work on it.
Seth… You let go of the problem by not becoming, by not becoming enmeshed in it. No matter how difficult it is.
Jasmine… But you said the individual who allows negative events to roll off studies it and appreciates is far better of then the one who becomes angry and annoyed with the situation.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… So, in order to let it go you have to do some work, you have to study it, you have to look at it, you can let it roll off you, but you have to…
Seth… Studying a negative event is not participating in it.
Jasmine… Okay but you can still study, that’s not participating, studying.
Seth… Studying an event is not participating in it.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… When you make someone else’s difficulties your own Jasmine…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… that is becoming embroiled in the event itself.
Jasmine… Right, I know that.
Seth… When you go ahead and study an event and try to understand it then of course you may deduce what the true problem is, what the nature of the event is itself…
Jasmine… When you just look at it and not participate?
Seth… And not participate in it, because once you are in an event, how good is your eyesight? How well do your ears hear? So, we will fall back upon the old statement and then I will have the man through whom I speak turn the tape over and I will continue, how good is it to let things go as compared to participating?
Jasmine… Well, it’s much better to observe.
Seth… Obviously, let us turn over the recording machine at this point.
Each of you has certain roles to play. If you think of the idea that humanity is a large team effort, there are individuals who seem to have more important roles than another…
Isabella… In the whole world or only in our own individual experience?
Seth… Either way, it doesn’t matter. But my question is this: when one looks at another’s role is it more or less important because it has power and authority connected with it? Each person’s ability helps to define their role. The Sumafi (Sumafi is a family of souls who tend to be interested in teaching.) or teacher has a role that provides a learning experience to others. Is that role more or less important than the politician who works diligently and has laws passed that enable others to benefit from his or her dedication to the electorate? Each of you unfortunately looks at roles and assigns them a value. Which is worth more, a cardiac surgeon or the bodega owner who sells sodas and milk? How does one compare and contrast these roles? One never knows where assistance comes from. How does one value another? These types of support systems are necessary if proper change is to take place.
Jasmine… You mean the various roles?
Seth… The various roles…
Jasmine… As the support system?
Seth… As your support system. It is easy to understand that to a child the parent is the most important role model that there is. It is exceptionally difficult to change in what you believe in when the parental model falls short.
(Said softly to Stephanie,) State that quote to William.
Jasmine… Hold on… in other words since we learn we may learn from a parent whose model is…
Seth… Say it loud, please.
Jasmine… Since we may learn from our parents whose model is deficient it’s very hard for you as the child to change what you believe in because you’ve learned from that parent and…
Seth… Not only what you believe in…
Jasmine… And you believe that what they showed you is the correct thing.
Seth… Correct.
When one evaluates another, do so without bias. Is the street cleaner worth less than the store owner? Is the parent worth more than the pilot? Each individual provides his or her unique abilities to any given situation. One must always endeavor to allow and accept the role of another.
Stephanie… I don’t understand where you are going with this.
Seth… Where have you been lost?
Stephanie… What does the role of another have anything to do with…
Seth… What does a role of another have anything to do with…
Stephanie… You know why are you saying this one’s value is more or less having to do with not getting stuck in a negative event? Why are you now rolling into, you know, how we judge one’s role?
Seth… You’re judging other’s roles.
Stephanie… Right, okay, judging other’s roles? What does that have to do with this?
Seth… When you assign a value to another individual…
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… you have made a value judgment as to their worth.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Is it not true if you hold that idea of what their role is in high esteem their word is worth more?
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Now if their word is worth more are you not more likely to accept what they say as fact?
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Is that always true? The answer is, no.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… So that is partially where I am going.
Stephanie… Right, but…
Seth… Now, the idea is if someone who you hold in high esteem or should hold in high esteem…
Stephanie… Right let’s say a parent.
Seth… A parent and their actions to whatever is going on are deficient.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… It takes many individuals years or lifetimes to undo what they believe is correct. That the parent is there for them.
Stephanie… It takes who the receiver of the information to undo…
Seth… The receiver of the information… (Overlapping speech) or lifetimes to undo that fact.
Stephanie… To undo that the parent…
Jasmine… was deficient.
Stephanie… was deficient?
Seth… Or was deficient.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… And therefore, if one knows immediately that the parent is deficient one must allow their actions to roll off their back and not participate in them.
Stephanie… Once they know what they are.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay.
Jasmine… So that’s it goes back to the negative?
Seth… That’s how it falls back to the negative event.
Stephanie… Right, so if you no longer hold that person in any esteem, why would you bother with them?
Seth… You bother with them because it is not practical not to.
Stephanie… On what level?
Seth… There are many instances, for example, when you will go ahead and need for example to speak to a physician.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Many physicians believe that they are closer to God and the All That There Is then the All That There Is believes it.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And therefore, you may need their advice on one area, but you do not have to accept and hold in high esteem everything they say. Unfortunately, too many people do.
Stephanie… Right, but if somebody falls out of grace in that instance you go to another physician.
Seth… And there may be a possibility of not being able to, which is often the case.
Stephanie… So, you can’t go to another doctor?
Seth… No, not if you are very ill and you believe in physicians and you are stuck in a hospital, and you may not have an advocate for yourself. Although the individual is not a kind individual, he may be the only one you may be able to deal with.
Frank… What if you wanted an excellent surgeon and the surgeon is a bad person, are you going to go with the surgeon who is a good person and has no skills? You are going to go with the surgeon with the bad bedside manner.
Stephanie… Right, so that is not what we are saying though.
Frank… Parts of it is.
Seth… Yes, it is.
Stephanie… No, if you respect the individual it is still how they are effective.
Seth… No, respecting an individual, respect is earned.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Not because of what they are.
Stephanie… Right but if they’re efficient or whatever that is what Frank is saying then you would respect them you don’t have to like them.
Seth… What are you not understanding about this, Kaetorina?
Stephanie… I don’t understand what you are saying if I am sick, and I need a particular doctor and they know what they are doing I don’t care if they’re a jerk.
Seth… Yes, you do.
Stephanie… I don’t want them to…
Seth… Yes, you do.
Stephanie… not to help me, if I think they are a great doctor.
Seth… You might.
Frank… Not if they put you down which they could.
Seth… And often do.
Stephanie… Oh, okay so they might personally…
Frank… And them putting you down might say to you, “Well, I’m not dealing with them.” But yet he may be the doctor who could save your life.
Stephanie… Yeah, well I’m not going to deal with him if he is completely putting me down and you know and cutting me into pieces.
Frank… You will (or should) if he is the top cardiac surgeon there is and he does a special surgery that you need. Yes, you are because it profits you.
Stephanie… Okay so how are we making this an analogy to my father?
Seth… Well, that’s the real question, we were waiting for you to get there.
Stephanie… How do we need? (Laughter.)
Isabella… (Speaking excitedly.) You didn’t need to beat around the bush! Why didn’t you just ask?
Frank… Because you need some medication! (Stephanie’s father is an excellent pharmacist.)
Stephanie… No, I am just saying, he is a parent, (Laughs.) for a minute. You know, so what are you saying? How would I need… So here, I’ve already offered the idea of you know for my children.
Seth… Do you have to deal with your father ever again?
Stephanie… Do I have to?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… No, I don’t have to.
Seth… Well, that’s incorrect, let’s try again.
Stephanie… Alright, well I am choosing to let’s just say for my children.
Seth… No, answer my question. Do you have to deal with your father at some point?
Stephanie… Yeah, I would have to.
Seth… Okay, so now that you have to deal with him, you have two choices: you may allow his abilities to roll off your back and not participate with him…
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… by stating your wants, needs and desires in a fair manner.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Or you can participate with him and become embroiled in an argument and a tug of war.
Stephanie… Well, it depends if what I view is his participation… by seeing…
Seth… No, do not confuse the idea of very simply saying, “This is what I can do for you, you can accept it, reject it and that’s perfectly fine.” That is still allowing something to roll off your back but when you get into a tug of war with, you will go ahead with, “And you will be here at 12:00, you will leave at 1:15. You will go ahead and make arrangements to do this. I will not allow you to do that.” That’s a tug of war and no one wins, especially you.
Stephanie… So, what’s your point? I should allow him to come in for an hour and leave Tuesday night?
Seth… No. That is not a question of that. I am not telling you what not to do. What I am stating here is that the simplest of all ideas is this: you may state what is correct and necessary for you and the individuals around you. That’s not hard for you to understand.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… And if they can accept it, they will and if they can’t they won’t.
Stephanie… So, what you are saying is, I don’t need to present a whole whatever around it to get them to see my point?
Seth… No, you don’t have to get them to see anything. You have to allow in a conversation for them to understand your wants, needs and desires.
Stephanie… Okay, so I did that.
Seth… So, did you hear me say that you did something wrong?
Stephanie… No, but that’s what I think you are implying. You are saying that I had a tug of war with my father on my text messages. I don’t feel like I had a tug of war I was stating the facts.
Seth… If I had wanted to say that I would have been direct and said it.
Stephanie… So then what tug of war are you referring to?
Seth… Look at your question and…
Stephanie… Yeah?
Seth… First of all, you already have one session to type up.
Stephanie… Yes, I am aware.
Seth… Now you have two. (Stephanie laughs.) Now you have two, congratulations. This one will also be typed by you.
Stephanie… That’s nice.
Seth… Alone. (Stephanie giggles.) And since you have made diligent efforts to do nothing, I give you fair warning I will impose time limits should work not soon be started.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, I understand.
Seth… Keep reading.
Stephanie… So, what’s your point?
Seth… The point is simply this.
Stephanie… What tug of war are… if you are not referring to my text messages, are you referring to… what are you referring to? You’re stating that I have been in a tug of war?
Seth… No, you place yourself in a position of participating in a largely negative series of events. That’s a tug of war.
Stephanie… Okay, so…
Seth… You’ve stated your wants, your needs, your wishes, your desires.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Now all of a sudden, your sister comes in and says a few things.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Now, your mother comes in and says a few things. Now, Stephan comes in and says a few things. Now your father comes in says a few things.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you not see this as back and forth? A tug of war?
Stephanie… Well, I don’t know, it stinks.
Seth… For who is going to give in first?
Stephanie… No well, you were the one who said, don’t leave it go, so I didn’t!
Seth… It’s not a question of leaving things go. It is a question of stating your wants, your needs, your desires.
Stephanie… Right, well if my sister had done something that I felt that was offensive then I am going to take offense to it.
Seth… You are trying to pick apart an incident, look at the larger picture. I’m not saying if somebody insults you, do not answer them. That is foolish.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… What I am stating here is the simplistic idea of you have the right to say what you need to say. You should not then participate in the nonsense of what else goes on.
Stephanie… Right, well that’s why when I ended my conversation with my sister, I said let’s just not talk about this. Leave it go and…
Seth… And did you hear me make a comment on any of that this evening?
Stephanie… Well, no but I thought you were inferring.
Seth… No, no, no, it’s not what you thought; it’s how you tried to interpret my words. And if I had had a direct comment with you, do you think I am not manly enough, strong (Stephanie laughing.) enough, wise enough or diligent enough to slap you around and make sure you understood?
Stephanie… No, but you do beat around the bush sometimes.
Seth… In this instance there would be no beating around the bush because the material would have fit perfectly.
Stephanie… Right but so what you are saying is, is exactly what I experienced at the end of this phone call, I don’t need to, we’re not going to agree; it seems ridiculous to bring up this topic, so we are just going to leave it.
Seth… Correct and at that point we shall take a break.
Stephanie… Goodo.
Seth… Let us continue, are there any other questions.
Frank… How, what, how do you get less invested in the role and just…
Seth… Your role or someone else’s?
Frank… Actually, both questions because with yourself I know with me, I’ll make it more personal, I’ll look at another and say, “Oh! That’s the greatest thing.” And invest so much more in what another is doing and then not valuing self so I should maybe start with that question first.
Seth… The question is when you believe that a role is the give all and end all one tends to try to define themselves by that role or role model and if you limit that which is, you then do not appreciate anything else. So, you must redefine your belief system. Does that help?
Frank… You have to catch yourself doing it.
Seth… Eventually. I mean for example, do you want to ask a specific question about last weeks lecture as compared to this week’s lecture.
Frank… What are you getting at? (Frank laughs.)
Seth… It’s been clear to me all evening long. (Frank is laughing as is Stephanie.) Has it not?
Frank… I’m not going to ask what the next two things are if that is what you mean. (Last session Seth stated there were three things that make a person but only presented one and that was the idea of being committed. I was very curious about the next two and was hoping he would get to it.)
Seth… That is exactly what I mean.
Jasmine… That’s what I want to know too.
Frank… Why am I going to ask that when you yelled at me last week?
Seth… It is not a question of yelling at you. But it certainly gives you pause for thought.
Frank… I did think about it but I figured that you…
Seth… And that was a test.
Frank… What to think about at all or to ask?
Seth… Both, I was aware the second you thought it.
Frank… So, but okay, so it’s there and I let it go and I said to myself maybe ten sessions from now? (Last week’s session included private information including the fact that Frank tends to be overly analytical, examines things over and over and thinks in a very linear manner. Over the years Seth has recommended that Frank and any reader who may find that they too think too linearly, avoid this and effort to think more creatively out of the box. F.N.)
Seth… That’s not the issue. The issue is why the thought, because you are used to doing things in a certain straight forward manner. It’s called linear thinking.
Frank… Right.
Jasmine… I had the same thought.
Seth… (Seth looking at Jasmine and Frank laughs.) Would you like a little help with getting rid of that thought?
Jasmine… Okay, I’m listening.
Seth… No, it is something to do. (Group laughter.)
Jasmine… Oh god.
Frank… And it involves typing.
Jasmine… No thank you.
Seth… We’ll skip you.
Frank… (Seth looking at Frank.) Yes?
Seth… But do you understand it involves linear thinking? And this whole lecture this evening was to make you uncomfortable, and you were because you thought about it incessantly through your simple smiling throughout the entire first portion of this lecture and every time you did that was the thought. And you became very lucky that the person over there got embroiled… (Frank talking at same time as Seth.) that she’s typing it instead of you.
Stephanie… I didn’t get embroiled! (Seth made a noise with lips indicating his disagreement and the group laughed.)
Frank… What’s that?
Isabella… That’s funny.
Frank… What should I do other than stop with the linear thinking? I mean I have to think linearly. It goes in a row! (Group laughing.) I don’t know.
Seth… We are going to leave that alone.
Stephanie… Why don’t you type the second portion of this?
Frank… No, you need to do it without any help.
Seth… Let us pass this along, go ahead.
George… I was confused about the analogy made with the magnet in terms of it reversing its polarity the closer you get to it?
Seth… Does a magnet have a north and south pole?
George… Right.
Seth… So, if you are being attracted to something…
George… Right.
Seth… you are north the magnet is south, the magnet is one or the other. As you then approach that difficulty you tend to have to be pushed away by it because you don’t want to.
George… Okay but…
Seth… For example, I want a surgical residency, I have a surgical residency but I don’t like the people that are there, so I don’t like the surgical residency.
Jasmine… So, he was attracted?
Seth… And then repulsed and then pushed back and back and forth and back and forth. Did I answer the question successfully?
George… Yeah, maybe that analogy is wrong. (Light group snickering.)
Jasmine… Which one the magnet?
George… The magnet. If you are attracted to a certain pole of a magnet the closer you get to that pole the more you get attracted to it the more you get repelled from the opposite.
Seth… No, the magnet itself is changeable. The magnet itself is reversible.
George… Okay so the magnet itself is switching.
Seth… That’s what I said.
George… Another…
Seth… Go ahead.
George… It’s off topic I wanted to ask it last week, but we were out of time. It was, I am having a lot of issues with what’s kind of going on with my father and his personal life right now. I just wanted to ask Seth if there was anything else I could do other than what I am doing in terms of being more communicative with him or talking with him more often.
Seth… There is nothing you should do because no matter what you do you cannot solve the problem. So, if you are supportive and helpful the assistance that he receives is invaluable. Does that make sense?
George… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… I’m having difficulty with the idea of not having had that thought.
Jasmine… Not having the what?
Frank… Like, why shouldn’t I have that thought? I then let it go.
Jasmine… Oh, the thought.
Seth… The thought is but the symptom of the problem.
Frank… Of wanting to examine.
Seth… Right. (I believe Seth snapped Jerry’s fingers.) Now congratulations. You may say congratulations Kaetorina I will do the typing.
Frank… Oh. Come on, no way!
Seth… Absolutely.
Stephanie… Oh, he’s doing the typing instead of me?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… Yippie!
Frank… I just got done with three sessions.
Seth… Now you have a fourth. Now, let me explain…
Frank… No, wait a second!
Seth… Let me explain this…
Frank… No… okay, you explain this.
Seth… Not… it is the thought process that you go through that allows your troubles to start. Do you understand this so far?
Frank… It is the thought process that allows…
Seth… Allows your trouble to start. It is the “what if”, the “why?” Not why is this occurring but why does it occur in this manner?
Frank… I ask why does this occur in this manner?
Seth… Always. And so therefore you are forced to examine, re-examine, over examine the idea.
Frank… If I ask… “why?” (“Why” said at the same time as Seth.)
Seth… That’s perfectly acceptable.
Frank… And then something will come to me.
Seth… Something will come to you but when you…
Frank… But when I have to make it very specific to why is it happening in this manner.
Seth… And why does this occur like this and why is this technique good?
Frank… Why does this occur in this order?
Seth… Or I’m going to use this technique to fit everything I can in here. That is a difficulty because it allows no room for change or growth.
Frank… (Long pause.) Is it analogous to the idea of the concept of placing a value on something?
Seth… Absolutely, it is clear…
Frank… On an activity.
Seth… Right. That is the point. In other words, this whole lecture this evening was set up to make you uncomfortable.
Frank… Was I?
Seth… Yes. (Stephanie giggles.)
Frank… I wasn’t all that in touch with that, I just was, I wasn’t in touch with the thought as many times as you were. I had the thought I remember once. I don’t remember the other times.
Seth… I do. It was clear.
(Jasmine made a motion; Frank began to laugh as well as others.)
Stephanie… What was that?
Jasmine… My neck hurts.
Stephanie… I thought you were having a heart attack.
Frank… In the comments section I’m going to have to write… Jasmine made a motion that was like a bird looking up to the sky. (Group laughs.)
Seth… It didn’t have to be in there until now.
Frank… Okay, so for right now that’s basically all I really need to hang on to and let it… that…
Seth… Let it go.
Frank… or go. Okay.
Seth… Is there anything else?
Isabella… Yeah.
Frank… (To Stephanie.) You’re welcome.
Isabella… So, for me to work on this idea of not equating being alone with being a loser, is the, how do I do that?
Seth… That is asking yourself the simplest of all questions; why does being alone mean I am a loser? And since it doesn’t then you’re not.
Isabella… How doesn’t though? That’s…
Seth… That’s what you must figure out.
Isabella… I’m asking for assistance here.
Seth… And I’m telling you, you have the answer already.
Isabella… Because I’m never really alone.
Seth… You will figure that out for yourself.
Isabella… Alright so I’m asking, ask question what… (Isabella is writing it down.) What is the question?
Seth… You will figure that out yourself too.
Jasmine… How does being alone make you a loser?
Isabella… Right, thank you. Thanks Mom.
Seth… (Is staring at Jasmine and the group laughs.) One more and guess who’s typing? (Laughing continuing.)
Isabella… I just snorted! (Laughing.)
Frank… Do you have any questions now? No? Come on. (Jasmine shaking her head no.)
Isabella… You know what I did have a comment, a question in regards to the idea of watching the parent in the respect of valuing and how long it takes you to change because that is what you have learned through your experience. If the parent changes or is in the process of re-evaluating themselves or in the process of changing themselves does that make it easier for you to?
Seth… It gives you pause for thought that if the person I respect can change why can’t I.
Isabella… Right because what I am finding with Mom’s working so diligently, I am like Wow, okay.
Seth… If she can I can.
Isabella… Yeah, because this, no offense, but I always felt that she was never going to be able to so the fact that she can…
Seth… Let me give you the best example of never can that you can understand at this point. A number of years ago Kaetorina was discussing the trust issue with me, and I said part of this trust issue will disappear the second that William will start to speak to the man through whom I speak. After her laughter subsided (Stephanie giggled) and said and I quote, “This will never happen.” I said, “Yes it will and sooner than you think.” What happened?
Stephanie… He loves Jerry.
Seth… I wouldn’t go that far but let us leave it at that. Do you understand?
Isabella… So that, right. But it does, you’re right, it does give me pause for thought, if she can then I can.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So that is inspiring for me.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, is that why watching and living in the community at this point is purposeful?
Seth… Correct. Let me leave you with this: One must learn that even through negative occurrences acceptance is paramount to allow change to occur. Let the events flow away from you as river flows towards the ocean. Use support from all sources, you will find that your needs will be met, and your wants lessened. Stop linear thinking; appreciate whatever comes your way. Have a very pleasant week.
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you here again. (Seth stated that this session would not be recorded as after the lecture we would be speaking, and it would be too personal. Under housekeeping Seth stated that Jerry needed to listen to lectures more diligently.)
Let us continue under our subject of Change. There are three things that make a person. The first is commitment, when one is dedicated to a cause one must feel obligated to enhance that cause. One may tend to go out of their way to improve that which the cause stands for. So, the idea of commitment first must deal with self. You are the primary cause, and your actions must be accounted for.
It is interesting to note that when one does not allow the self to stand up for and participate in the cause one tends to become weak, inefficient and develops dis-ease about the self. The commitment to the self is mandatory for your understanding of who and what you are. It is far too easy to delude yourself and blame others for your own inactions. Your unresolved difficulties make it impossible for you to achieve that which you desire. The idea here of stick-to-itiveness is lacking in these individuals. You cannot become a whole person until you are committed to a course of action that leads you in a path of self-improvement. It is far easier for most to look away and ignore than it is to stand up for yourself. How often have you wanted to say something to someone who you believe has harmed you and or disappointed you in any manner? The avoidance of such confrontation is a clear indication that you have chosen to become a victim on whatever path you are currently on.
One must commit to making themselves stronger. The idea here is the exercise that the soul needs to improve is similar to the exercise that the physical plane body requires to maintain a state of health. When you allow yourself the latitude to become lackadaisical you will attract individuals who are more than ready to take advantage of you.
How does one then go about viewing themselves and literally exercising the body, mind and spirit back to health? First one must commit to a plan of action. It indeed takes effort to achieve your desired goal. It is too easy to delude yourself that you are committed to self by subjecting others to your own intellectual and physical intolerance of behaviors brought upon by the self. One cannot succeed for very long with the idea that you can justify the degradation of someone else to promote your own agenda. You become a literal albatross around the neck of your intended victim. You become demanding of the other and your intolerance does not allow the victim any room for growth. Many individuals wonder why they cannot attract a suitable mate, they fear being alone. It is clear that they live in a perpetual shadow of fear and dis-ease. They are in reality committed to the idea that they must be taken care of.
It should be noted here that these individuals will reject the idea they victimize another and that they don’t really care about how they present themselves to the outside community. They believe they are working hard. They believe they are making changes, but their changes are like shadowy figures one may see on a wall; they have no substance and no depth. Yet these individuals when pressed will tell you how sincere they are, how committed they are to self-improvement and how they challenge themselves on a day-to-day basis. The outside world will note that these individuals only pretend to follow through. When asked to look at their chance encounters or events that swirl around them, they will see the same “evil patterns” repeating. These patterns do not change for in reality these individuals are committed to the status quo. They believe in the lackadaisical nature of the universe. They attempt to justify their inactivity by not looking at facts as they are. They never take the time to pause and reflect. They believe if they move forward, they can and do succeed. However, nothing could be farther from actual fact. They will be kind when necessary. They will attempt to deceive and delude as many individuals as they can. In reality they care only for themselves, and they commit to no one and nothing unless it connects to their desires. The status quo to these individuals is necessary because any change of pattern causes fear in themselves. They routinely delude themselves into believing that they are “smarter” than those around them. They challenge others not to improve the situation but to allow the other to prove them right. Now, it may seem foolish to challenge another, to prove another is correct, yet these ideas fall like rain. If you love me, you will understand I am doing this for your benefit, I miss you, I cannot be without you, I only want to help you, let me do so. All these “challenges” are meant to mystify and engage the other in self-delusional behavior.
I ask which one are you? Are you truly the individual who is committed to self and self-improvement or are you the other? A question that each of you, including any reader must ask: Where do I stand and how do I get there? What justification do I have in asking someone else to do anything that I can do myself? Many individuals fear being left out, deserted if you will. Relationship issues that concern abandonment causes individuals to commit to the status quo. They are afraid of losing. Isabella wanted to ask about a student, well part of the answer is simple, individuals act and react out of fear of being tossed aside. It is notable that these type of individuals demand that you will love me even though I am not worthy of respect. They challenge the others so they can be justified being tossed aside again.
What has to be done? We love you; we are going to help you become what you don’t want to become. We want you to become selfish to promote the self, to become what you truly require and throw away the selfishness that you have out of fear of being thrown away and we will do what is necessary for you to help you promote yourself. This should be the mantra for any therapist, we will do whatever is necessary for you to commit to self. These are the ideas that one needs to study. How does one go about committing to self? It is simple by first liking yourself and knowing that you cannot fail. You cannot fail! If you do not like yourself then my question to each of you is: Who should? If you stand up for yourself and maintain your composure even when the world tells you, you are wrong you will then take time out to pause and reflect about a simple idea: Could I be wrong? And if you are and since you are committed to change properly you will change. But if you are not then the difficulty in standing up to and justifying actions requires commitment, requires dedication, and sincere effort on your part. Commitment to change, commitment to change, commitment to change (This was stated three times.) is what is necessary for every individual who chooses growth over the status quo. Laziness, procrastination, delusional behavior are the hallmarks of individuals who choose to become smaller. They choose to maintain their original place and they do not become all that they can be.
When you have difficulties with an individual there is a central issue, you are not committed to the ending of a problem. If you are still angry and bothered it is the commitment to the end that matters. Why would you stop asking questions until you understand?
When a person is afraid to be done, I need someone to… They hang on to others, they do not allow others to escape their grasp and the other person will cast them off. When things are not the same that is how you know you are changing.
The commitment to self is the call for change by promoting self-growth; it allows you to define and understand your needs and eliminate your wants.
(It is at this point that Seth went into personal material for each person that sat around the table.)
Seth… Good evening. As you are all aware of, I assigned you some homework even if you were not here and we shall take the beginning portion of the session and go around and have you read your five items and we shall then look at one or two or all five of them if I deem it necessary and we shall move on from there. Isabella, you may start us off.
Isabella… Fear of being alone, the complete absence of self-worth, wanting to have everyone to take care of me, my defensive nature and anger management.
Seth… Fine. Which one do you believe is the most important for you?
Isabella… Self-worth.
Seth… Seth-worth. Then what I would like you to do for next week is I would like a detailed paragraph, written please, defining what you mean and specifically in another paragraph or two going ahead and stating very clearly how you would intend to first approach this subject and what you intend hopefully gain by doing so. Pass the microphone in any direction, it makes no difference.
George… The first one is to make myself more available for other people in my life, do more things for people. The second one is to reach out more in my family. The third is be more honest with people in terms of what I want, what I need,
Seth… You do realize that some of them you are already saying but go ahead.
George… Be more disciplined, organize in my life so that I can accomplish more of what I set out to do. Stop looking for others for guidance for all the various aspects in my life that I should look for myself more.
Seth… And what do you believe is the most important for you to do?
George… Learn to get more discipline and organized in my life.
Seth… Fine. What I would like you to do is to write down fifteen things you are not organized about. Take a note, write fifteen things you are not organized about. You are then going to go ahead and write down how you are going to organize that portion of your life and what steps you are going to take not to fall back upon your disorganized ways. Fair enough?
Betty?
Betty… I’m still working on; I’m having trouble hearing what other people have already said. Can I hold so I can get a sense…
Seth… No, no, this is five items that you believe you have not looked at or worked on. It matters not what everybody else has said.
Betty… That I have not at all looked at or just not kind of working as hard as I need to?
Seth… Usually, it is not looking at all but you can use the other reference point if possible.
Betty… Um, probably my health.
Seth… One.
Betty… Aging. Making new relationships.
Seth… What is the second one please?
Betty… Aging.
Seth… Aging is part of your health, next. You have one there, go ahead.
Betty… I guess working harder at making new relationships here although I am doing something there. Working harder than I know currently as in terms of spirituality, meditating, all that kind of stuff. My age old letting go but it’s not like I’m not working on it, it continues to be a struggle. Do I need another one?
Seth… Yes, you do, we’ll wait.
Betty… Ah… can’t really come up with anything.
Seth… Fine, what are the top three things that you think are most important for you?
Betty… Probably paying more attention to my health, again having been there and lost it. Paying more attention to my spirituality, again having been there and not working so hard. And really you know starting a new life here although I am doing it but definitely (struggling)…
Seth… Fine, what I would…
Betty… with relationships.
Seth… What I would like you to do please is to take a very good look at your health…
Betty… Em hmm.
Seth… and friendship issues.
Betty… Okay.
Seth… And what I would like you to do is to, for you to give me at least twenty-five items of how you are going to go ahead and improve your health and friendship. What steps are you going to take?
Betty… Okay.
Seth… We will discuss this next week.
Stephanie… (Laughed.) Okay, beauty, patience, trust, procrastination and forgiveness.
Seth… Well, we will forget about trust since you are doing that on a routine basis.
Stephanie… Oh.
Seth… What is the next two most important things you have to do?
Stephanie… The most important? Ah…
Seth… Fear.
Stephanie… Oh, probably beauty and um… patience maybe.
Seth… Well, certainly I would skip the beauty portion of that, procrastination and patience.
Stephanie… Really?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… (Stephanie was whispering to herself) Procrastination? (Isabella laughed and there were remarks.) No, but I didn’t think…
Frank… (Joking.) I don’t think I can get to that one! (Group Laughter.)
Stephanie… I don’t think that is my, one of my most major. Alright whatever, go ahead.
Seth… So far, you’ve proven my point. (Stephanie laughed.) What I would like you to do is to simply go ahead (Tapped on the table for Stephanie to write.) and look at both items, find out how they are connected and name twenty things that you are going to do… (Stephanie made a noise and probably a face.) twenty five things that you are going to do to combine the two so that you may have an easier time of getting through in development of being patient and forgiving.
Stephanie… Um, you didn’t say that, you said procrastination and patience…
Seth… And patience. Well, it’s also forgiveness to be thrown in there.
Stephanie… Oh, how are they connected with procrastination and patience…
Seth… And forgiveness.
Stephanie… Okay forgiveness. So, twenty-five things I am going to do…
Seth… Not twenty-five different things. How are you going to look at those two or three items?
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… What you are then going to do to move in a direction of change so that you can combine those items, so you don’t fall down and become dissatisfied. You understand?
Stephanie… (Said softly.) Okay, twenty-five things that I am going to do change them.
Seth… Jasmine?
Jasmine… Okay, I said I have to continue working in these areas: being strong, capable and independent, doing for self, letting negativity pass through, separating and still number four asserting self, standing up for self and five is appreciating and noticing the positive.
Seth… You used the first one there you wrote, learning to be strong, capable and independent it does take in all the rest of what you said. What I would like you to do is to plan out a theme of…
Jasmine… Oops, my pen won’t write, okay.
Seth… Is to plan out a theme… (A cell phone rang.) Please turn the phone off. Is to plan out a theme to incorporate that which you are missing in those three items to be strong, capable and independent.
Jasmine… Strong, capable and independent. (Said at the same time as Seth.)
Seth… In other words, you do not have those qualities at this point, so you want to develop a plan or a theme that you are going to use on a day-to-day basis to incorporate that which you require into you so that it becomes an important and integral part of you. You understand?
If you feel you are not strong therefore you are not capable and therefore you are not independent. What can you do is the idea of the theme to make that factual for you? Do you understand now?
Jasmine… Okay just repeat that again, what can I do to make all those things part of me?
Seth… Correct.
Frank?
Jasmine… Wait, I said take the first one which has to do with being strong, capable and independent and plan out a theme to incorporate that which I’m missing. Develop a plan to incorporate that which I need so that these things become an integral part of me and the question that you asked can make it easy with what I can do to make all of these things part of me.
Seth… Correct, it’s all part of the same thing.
Jasmine… Oh. (To Frank.) Did you start working on these?
Frank… A little bit but didn’t make any difference.
I have not dealt with some of the abdication I do with Cyndi particularly around organizing work around the family. I’m too snappish or angry particularly with the children, I have not taken responsibility for expanding the quality of certain friendships and contacts and I have actually the idea of being lazy in certain areas of my practice like particularly with progress notes and that sort of thing.
Seth… Well, what you have defined there is that in generalized idea of procrastination and not doing much.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Therefore, what I would like you to do is I would like you to list what can you do to stop procrastinating with your wife, your family, with friendships, your practice. What steps can you take, that is what you must do.
Arthur?
Arthur… As I wrote them it was the issues of fear, pride which includes haughtiness and criticality and anger, forgiveness of self and other which may include self-esteem, intimacy with love, sex, friendship and power and responsibility.
Seth… Well, the one that you haven’t looked at, at all is abandonment. So, what you are going to go ahead and do is to very, very simply give me first of all fifteen reasons why you feel abandoned and twenty-five reasons how you are going to get over it.
Arthur… Fifteen reasons…
Seth… Why you feel abandoned and twenty-five reasons how you are going to learn to move on.
Now that we all have a little work to do, I shall prepare my own lecture for next week. (Adventurous reader, obviously you do not have Seth to directly focus you on the next step of this exercise but if you re-read his responses to us, you can tell the direction you should head. Make a list of thirty weaknesses and pick five that seem the most important to you. You may want to review them with a friend or a spouse that you trust as often others see us more clearly than we do ourselves. Then you list the steps to take to change those things from weakness towards strength and then do it. F.N.)
That being stated we are on the subject of change and this number is 375. The reason that this assignment has been given in this way is because you are all on a journey and yet this journey is in general our country road (In the very first session Seth mentions the concept of the “country road.” He has used this as a metaphor to help us understand various ideas about the soul’s journey upon incarnating on the physical plane. He speaks further about this later in the session. F.N.) which I have previously described. It is very easy to look at things and when these things tend to repeat themselves one can become angry and frustrated. Commonly one can say I’ve been around this block before. Have you ever noticed the idea that when you believe you have successfully conquered a problem the problem seems to repeat itself and so anger and frustration here move in.
Stephanie… When you notice you have successively…
Seth… When you believe you have successfully looked and finished with a problem…
Stephanie… The problem comes back?
Seth… And the universe provides you with a similar problem.
Stephanie… To make sure you have learned it?
Seth… Why don’t you listen to the lecture?
Isabella… You believe you have conquered.
Seth… And so, the universe is going to then redefine that problem for you, and you are going to have another opportunity to see how your mastery of the situation has affected your ability to handle that type of a problem. Most commonly on our circular journey we will meet this problem again and again and it will by its very nature present itself in various disguises. When one then strips away the appearance of what you believe the problem is you will commonly find out that you have indeed not mastered the situation. So, on our circular journey one must be prepared to enter any situation with the knowledge that I must always view the difficulty as an opportunity to finally master that problem!
The question always occurs that in our journey have you ever left? And the answer is you have never left because every viewpoint, every scene has depth. There are many layers or dimensions to what you see and what you feel. Your reactions to that layer of difficulty will allow you to move on. When you have believed you have mastered the top layer you will see and discover that the underneath layers have different meanings. Yet the problem itself is still the same but the solution must be more creative.
Jasmine… The other way is what? When the top layer is mastered the other layer…
Isabella… Each layer has it own meaning.
Seth… The other layers have different meanings.
Isabella… The problem is the same the solution is…
Seth… The solution to the same or similar idea must change. Do you understand Jasmine?
Jasmine… I just want to know something. When the top layer is mastered, other layers have different meanings what? Must be mastered?
Isabella… When a top layer is mastered and you move to the next layer, each layer has different meanings, and the solutions must change.
Frank… May I ask a question? Would it be a different thing if it’s not a layer, but it is something related to it like part of a problem? Part A of a problem and part B.
Seth… Different layer, same idea.
Frank… It means the same thing?
Seth… Same thing, different layer.
Frank… I’ll refine the question, later.
Seth… No problem is individual onto itself, always has a connectable thing to something else.
Jasmine… So, I was able to handle the issue with confronting my mother and my sister over the jewelry and the money and things like that…
Seth… Is that not promoting yourself?
Jasmine… Is that one layer of this difficulty?
Seth… That is one layer of the difficulty.
Jasmine… And so, there will be many other layers that might have to do with separating and asserting and standing up for self or being strong capable and independent…
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… But I will have to handle it in a different way?
Seth… Your solutions will be different.
Jasmine… I won’t just do the talking example?
Seth… Correct because it may or may not be appropriate.
Isabella… So, what about in my situation of self-worth and relationship?
Seth… What about it?
Isabella… In this idea of mastering the top layer and then I mean… when you say different solutions (is it) really all the same top layer?
Seth… No, it isn’t, how is your self-worth when it comes to teaching? How is your self-worth when it comes to standing up for yourself when somebody insults you or bothers you? Same idea, different solutions.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… One you prepared for…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… One you beg for.
Isabella… One I prepared for… because I feel good about myself.
Seth… Same problem, different solutions.
Isabella… But it is not a problem in the area.
Seth… Certainly, was in the beginning.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… So, on our journey each difficulty that you have is interconnected with other difficulties of the same nature. It is as if you had pages of a book that describe the problem so you open page 93 but the solution on page 247 may somewhat apply but it won’t fit perfectly. The lock will not open. The key is different therefore your viewpoints although you are seeing the same thing must be made to change. One cannot apply as our friend Frank has a tendency to do the same solution to everything. The key must be made by you to fit the lock that is presented to you. You cannot and should not view the same problem with the same ideas in mind. One may look at this in terms of what individuals like to call looking at others who have charmed lives. Each of you have seen or knows an individual or friend who seems to have the perfect child, has money, does not seem to have a care in the world yet their difficulties in reality, their difficulties in reality are similar to yours although your viewpoint does not allow you to see it. Each individual on the physical plane faces loss, loss of a parent, loss of a friend, loss of a loved one. Each individual on the physical plane must learn the same lessons. How they go about it is what you see.
Stephanie… And the idea of being the victim, being the perpetrator, all these lessons?
Seth… Any lesson that you can…
Stephanie… Love…
Seth… Love, honesty, faithfulness, loyalty, friendship. The person who has a charmed life may not have true friends because people are jealous of them.
Jasmine… So, Seth, how they go about learning the lessons is what?
Seth… Is a matter of their own choice. Their problems and your problems in all these common areas are similar. The person who is wealthy and has had a charmed life all of a sudden will suffer a business reversal and they will become poor.
Isabella… To learn lessons?
Seth… To learn to deal possibly with money. You don’t know what the lesson is because it matters not.
Stephanie… Does it all definitely deal with this?
Jasmine… No.
Stephanie… No, you are just saying what are the examples of?
Jasmine… Things they don’t want to deal with.
Seth… They all deal with it in various forms…
Jasmine… Eventually, not the business reversals, other lessons.
Seth… Jasmine, I am sorry you do not understand. In one life you may be very wealthy, in the next life you may be very poor. In one life you may be very wealthy and become poor. In another life you may be very poor and become wealthy.
Jasmine… I thought you meant in the same life.
Seth… No.
Now, the individual loving life who seems to live in the mansion and had all that she can have may suffer from a lack of intimacy from her husband. He may be unfaithful, and the problems are hidden from view. These are the type of situations that our circular journey from your perspective misses. Until things become clear one must be diligent in your own way of perceiving that which surrounds you. It is far too easy to observe an event and cause it to fit in with what you believe is factual than it is to understand the event itself.
Jasmine… It’s far too easy to observe an event and cause it to fit in with what you believe is factual then what it is to…
Stephanie… understand the event itself.
Seth… Most are guilty of that! Each of you becomes satisfied with the status quo. When things are good the reluctance to change becomes paramount. The idea of I don’t want to jinx myself is a common phrase. I’ve always done it this way. Why should I change? This viewpoint does not allow you to appreciate the simple fact that you can and should make your existence better. The temptation here to relax is far too great. Why bother, I have it so good? And my question is do you really? Look at your assignment. These are obvious things to the outside observer that require diligent effort upon your part. These items that we have asked you to do are done so that you as an individual may function at a higher level. How good would it be for Arthur not to be bothered with desertion? Would our friend Frank not like to walk into trees? And I could go on and on. Each of you with every step that you take along your never-ending journey must become aware that there is a universal constance that will guide and help you overcome that which plagues you.
Stephanie… What’s the universal constance?
Seth… That’s part of what you must figure out.
(There is a comment I believe by Arthur perhaps about the idea of the universe and repetition of lessons but is not audible.)
Seth… Some of that and there is a lot more to that.
Stephanie… Are you talking about when somebody feels good or things are good, you’re talking about that that is an illusion?
Seth… No! Let us assume…
Stephanie… Or real?
Seth… Or real, let us assume that Peter got over his OCD, William got a raise, Natalie through the help she is receiving at her school was able to improve her grades to Cs, As and Bs without a problem. Let’s assume you could make friendships easily and they were trustworthy, would that be good?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… And you would then become happy with that.
Stephanie… Yeah, until something else reared its ugly head.
Seth… It’s not a question of that.
Stephanie… But that’s what always happens.
Seth… No and let’s assume it didn’t.
Stephanie… That’s not possible.
Seth… Oh, it is, and it commonly occurs.
Stephanie… How? When you… the challenges never stop.
Seth… Challenges never stop because you don’t… challenges stop because you don’t bring them to yourself. You become complacent and the second you become complacent you fall by the wayside. You don’t improve. You are not making yourself better.
Stephanie… Right, is there still a perception of happiness from the individual?
Seth… Of course, there is a perception of happiness from the individual. That doesn’t make it factual. For example, if one looks at an individual who says, I’m content, I read the paper, I watch my television, but I have no interaction with anybody else. How truly happy is that person? They will tell you very happy, I’m content, I’m satisfied, I’m not responsible for anybody. But the question is, what are they learning? What are they doing with their lives? Or are they just coasting along waiting for the inevitable?
Stephanie… Right, but you wouldn’t say they are delusional about their happiness?
Seth… No, they are happy, but they are not doing anything to improve themselves.
Stephanie… Alright and you say that’s a resting life then?
Seth… No, not at all.
Stephanie… No.
Seth… I don’t choose to use the word delusional because the connotation there is not correct.
Stephanie… Right but then how come the universe itself would not present this person with adversity that they would have no choice but to…
Seth… The adversity is their sitting by themselves. They are not intermixing with the people around them.
Stephanie… Right but they’re not having a perception that it is bothering them.
Seth… They know that something is wrong. They don’t know what it is because they believe they are happy and content.
Stephanie… But they know something is wrong?
Seth… They know something is lacking.
Stephanie… So how would that manifest in them then?
Seth… I don’t know, I don’t feel right. Something is just not good for me.
Stephanie… But their contentment prevents them from looking into that?
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… And but then doesn’t the universe offer more of it so that they have no choice but to look?
Seth… No. If they don’t pick it up in this lifetime, they will pick it up in the next. You are looking at the universe as if it had a sledgehammer that hit you over the (Seth was clapping hands rhythmically.) head and forces you to do something (Stephanie is laughing.) because that is what you…
Stephanie… I can’t get away with anything. (Laughing.)
Seth… That is what you bring to it but that is not necessarily factual for others.
Stephanie… I really do not believe that.
Seth… Now you do. (Group laughter.)
Stephanie… I don’t believe that. Show me, I don’t know anybody with that.
Seth… Oh, you certainly do.
Isabella… Look at my grandmother. (Shirley Sarah.)
Stephanie… No, she’s miserable. Absolutely.
Frank… She doesn’t think so.
Seth… She doesn’t think…
Stephanie… Yes, she does. She has absolutely said I am lonely, I’m this, I’m that, I’m depressed. (Background conversation occurring.)
Seth… And therefore, what does she do with it? Nothing, she continues on in her same way and if you asked her in general is she happy she will tell you, yes, I am.
Stephanie… Because she doesn’t want to complain. (More group conversation that is difficult to pick up on tape.)
Seth… I believe at this point you could argue this question among yourselves, we shall take a break.
(Break 9:25)
Seth… Although you are all laughing at the concept here of challenges and opportunity the question of how do you look at being content when you are truly happy is quite simple. Ask yourself what do you choose to accomplish in this incarnation? If for example you are here to learn happiness and you are enjoying the beauty of a summer’s day, shouldn’t you also be happy with the idea that you can appreciate a lightening storm, thunder and wind because it is the magnificence of nature. If…
Jasmine… That’s different.
Seth… What is different? Beauty is still beauty, no matter how one observes it, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Yes, but you are talking about beauty…
Seth… I use it as an example. If you are here to let negativity roll by you and not incorporate it into you, you may hear a story about a family who had a tragic loss. Yet you are able to say I feel very badly for those individuals, but you don’t take inside of you and you are content and joyous for yourself that it didn’t happen to you. Yet when something happens to you that is even of smallest bit unpleasant and you take it into yourself the challenge is lost. The opportunity is gone because you do not allow yourself to observe. You participate, you make yourself part of the tragedy.
Jasmine… You mean the opportunity to learn?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Because you are so blocked in the tragedy?
Seth… You become part of the tragedy, no matter how minor it is.
Isabella… I don’t get how you become… oh, because you become so enmeshed in it that you become part of it.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Even if it has nothing to do with you.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… No, this is a case where it might have been to do with you, even a small piece is part of you, he said, not the stranger.
Seth… No, when something happens to you or a loved one, it is of the most minute portion, minor and you take it in to yourself you become drastically unhappy. That is what I described.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… So, the challenge of happiness is not to be content, but it is to promote your own journey. It is the promotion of self that pushes you along. Yes, being happy is enjoyable and it should be sought out but being complacent when you are happy, wishing you were someone else is an invitation to disaster.
Isabella… So instead of enjoying where you are in the moment you are always wanting something else.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… That leads to disaster.
Seth… Correct, it’s never enough.
Isabella… Right, so I’m personalizing so in my case right now this idea of living here and having what had happened to me with the ending of my marriage and all of that kind of stuff and now you know, not being in a relationship and all that kind of stuff, instead of enjoying being me and being alone with myself…
Seth… And learning and growing.
Isabella… Learning and growing.
Seth… About self.
Isabella… About self, obviously. It would be disaster for me to not appreciate that.
Seth… Correct and you don’t.
Isabella… So, what would be the disastrous about that?
Seth… How have you been feeling recently?
Isabella… Fantastic! (Meaning not so great.)
Seth… I thought so let us move along.
Stephanie… So, can I just say that you know Jasmine, for you and for me and probably everyone, I mean the idea of contentment many people would say or think that it would be that there is not all kinds of adversity going on. So, you know it’s the idea of shifting your perception of what contentment is. If you are waiting for the negative to stop coming…
Seth… How about waiting for the happiness to continue?
Stephanie… Right, I am just saying that that’s rarely what I mean what one is thinking about. It’s when is this going to stop? Then I will be content verses not staring at that.
Seth… Remember our journey, (The country road.) you leave your home in the morning, you view the nice scenes, the beautiful countryside and morning turns to midmorning which turns to lunch, and you stop and have a beautiful lunch and you go on from there and you continue your journey through early afternoon. By midafternoon it’s warm, it is gorgeous, you are pleasantly surprised. Now it is turning into early evening, and you stop and you have your supper and from early evening you continue along till you return home. Have you ever left? And the answer is no because if that is all you are allowing yourself to see you might not have gained anything. But if along your journey you help someone else, you’ve found pleasure in looking at a river that you did not see before, if you are unhappy because the lunch was not as good as you would have liked, all these things promote you and in the promotion of self you grow. You live in the ever-expanding-now. The greater you become the greater your reward. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, you are talking about change.
Seth… I am talking here about change. Did you ever leave?
Are there any other questions? (Betty was speaking on the phone.) Go ahead.
Betty… I’m coming off the statement in terms of what it is we wish to accomplish in this incarnation and myself I am struggling with really defining that in any clear terms. Do we really know that? I mean are there people out there, talking about looking at others who are very clear on what it is they are here to do?
Seth… Why do you have to define in any point of reference what you are here to do?
Betty… That’s my question, do I have to?
Seth… Why do you believe that you should?
Betty… (Was talking at the same time.) Or is it something that essentially unfolds?
Seth… Why do you believe that you should?
Betty… I guess during periods of more uncertainty I guess… as an anchor. I guess it’s really perhaps part of the lesson in either fate or learning to be more comfortable going with the flow. I don’t know.
Seth… What you are here to do simply is to promote yourself. When you have to define who and what you are, that is a limiting statement. It is limiting because it forces you not to grow. You understand?
Betty… I mean that’s very; I find personally very difficult to do because I would be constantly changing the more I go on.
Seth… No if you define who and what you are you limit your own growth. If you do not define who and what you are and what your exact position is, you allow yourself the opportunity to develop into things you have no concept of because you did not define them.
Betty… Is that a bad thing?
Seth… That’s a wonderful thing.
Betty… Oh okay.
Seth… Do you understand?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… How do you not have to define you self somewhat? You have to define yourself somewhat.
Seth… You do the… Frank, you are now so lost in a forest that the idea of defining yourself has now become worrisome. You define yourself from moment to moment. The cells that make up your existence define themselves from birth to till death. Each cell has a consciousness, it knows where it is, where it came from and where it’s going. Yet you as an individual have no direct contact with any specific cell in your body, yet the entire gestalt of you defines you. You are looking for a simplistic answer, I have to partially define myself. My question is why? You have no answer to that. You may define yourself if specifically asked as a husband, as a father, as a therapist but that doesn’t define who and what you are. That is a thing. It is what you do. Do you understand?
Frank… I understand that but I am not sure that I understand it visa-vie the earlier statement of not defining yourself. I don’t understand that.
Seth… The idea is if you define yourself as A, whatever that is you cannot grow because that’s a finite statement.
Frank… If I define myself as a shoemaker…
Seth… That is a thing that you do.
Frank… Alright, so that is not what you are talking about.
Seth… Not at all.
Frank… So, give me an example of defining one’s self that would limit you.
Seth… You are defining yourself for example as a person at a specific point of reference who needs to temper judgment with mercy… kindness.
Frank… Right.
Seth… If you define yourself as a person who must do that you are now limited.
Frank… Alright, that is only one of the things I might do…
Seth… I’m giving you a simplistic example of one thing.
Stephanie… One thing that was interesting that I read um…
Seth… A wonderful book, go ahead.
Stephanie… Such an interesting concept, the idea of nirvana that you were stating was like…
Seth… Figured that out tonight, didn’t you?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) It was like the death knell of States because it’s a…
Seth… And individual and people and religion because if you are in Nirvana there is nothing better.
Stephanie… There is nowhere to go. There is no…
Seth… So therefore, you must go downhill.
Stephanie… And also, there is no change there.
Seth… No change possible. Now you understand what I meant.
Jasmine… But what about the concept of rejoining with The All That There Is? When you’ve defined yourself and answered every problem there is to answer and addressed everything, isn’t that a state of Nirvana when you have rejoined with the All There Is?
Seth… No. Because do you stay there?
Jasmine… For a stop, I guess. I don’t know for how long. For some time, I would assume, I don’t know if you can define it in terms of time.
Seth… Is there any such thing as time?
Jasmine… No, I just said you can’t define it in terms of time.
Seth… Do you eventually decide to go back on your journey?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Your answer is even in the most pleasurable moment that you could ever possibly imagine…
Jasmine… The purest, perfect moment.
Seth… You still want more. You still want change and that is the magnificence of The All There Is.
Stephanie… So, Nirvana is that (unclear)
Seth… Correct which leads to the doom.
Stephanie… And what about the Buddhists who would love to achieve that, what are they… what goes on for them?
Seth… Do they ever truly achieve it? The answer is no.
Stephanie… Alright.
Seth… It is a methodology that is correct. The outcome never can be.
Stephanie… And do they suffer from not achieving what they think…
Seth… We are not going to go into what one person thinks…
Stephanie… No, but what’s their understanding then…
Seth… Their understanding is to rejoin and in terms of Nirvana with The All There Is, that is the best way I…
Stephanie… Oh, that they define it.
Jasmine… Reincarnation?
Seth… They reincarnate at a higher and higher and higher and higher and higher level…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… But that still does not give them the satisfaction of what they want.
Jasmine… But they don’t know that.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… There are concepts in that religion or in different areas of that religion that one goes there and then they perhaps in a sense enjoy too much and then fall out of favor and then then have to go all over again.
Stephanie… In the same lifetime?
Frank… No, many lives.
Stephanie… Oh.
Frank… Like you were the King and by experiencing perhaps even enjoying it too much now you have to go back from…
Seth… You start again and come back up.
Isabella… I have a question in relationship to cells could you say more about that every cell has a consciousness and whatever? Um I…
Seth… It knows where it has been and where it is going and what it will become.
Isabella… So, if someone donates organs to somebody else, do they take with them the consciousness of the body in which they came from? Or they…
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Or do they adapt into the body that they are.
Seth… They of course take what they were into what they become and sometimes there is a purpose (here) and sometimes there is not.
Isabella… So, in this case of what I was watching on television today, the man who received the heart and was…
Seth… He was open to the reception of where the organ came from and who and what the organ belonged to. And he would allow himself to incorporate that into himself and therefore he could change.
Isabella… Now does he have a part of… can he…
Seth… It was incorporating into himself.
Isabella… Do you understand what I am asking…
Seth… Yes, I understand.
Isabella… about the spirit… the soul being of the…
Seth… The soul has not approached the other person.
Isabella… No, that I understand but is he connected to that soul because…
Seth… Are you connected to Arthur’s soul?
Isabella… Yes, but I guess what I… does anybody else understand what I am asking?
Seth… You’re asking whether or not the heart…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… has a connection between the young child who was lost and this individual and therefore he has taken charecteristics from the young man who was lost (Not clear but something like “and bringing himself across) to the other’s soul. That is what you are asking here.
Isabella… Right, like does he take on personalities from the other person?
Seth… He may have a connection with this, if he does, he is very open because of the (past or path.)
Isabella… Is organ donation a good thing?
Seth… Depends on how you define it. Is an apple a good thing?
Isabella… Well because in Jewish religion they say that you shouldn’t donate organs.
Seth… Then if you are of that mind and that ilk it is correct for you.
Isabella… (Said softly,) What if you don’t feel that way?
Seth… You must look to self for your answers.
Isabella… And I’ve always had an issue with donating the eyes. For me I wouldn’t mind donating other organs to help somebody but when it comes to donating like the retinas of the eyes…
Frank… Corneas.
Isabella… Whatever it is, that bothers me on some level.
Seth… Then why would you do it?
Isabella… But I am just asking about if you don’t technically need your eyes when you cross over so you can…
Seth… You don’t need any part.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But you are talking about a belief system.
Isabella… Yeah, but the only reason why I would go there is because I believe that I would use… it’s my eyes that I would use to see.
Seth… Then of course the only answer is one shouldn’t do it, you are not comfortable.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… If each cell knows where it came from, where it is and where it is going isn’t that a working definition of itself?
Seth… Of what?
Arthur… Of the cell, that would be cells, thereby have a working definition.
Seth… No each cell has a consciousness.
Arthur… Yeah? And if…
Seth… And its consciousness is different than yours.
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… And each cell of your entire body is in communication with every other cell in your body.
Arthur… So, so when we are talking about an organism not limiting itself by defining itself, we are not also saying that even on a cellular level that the cell that defines itself is limiting self?
Seth… Cells have no limitations because the same carbon atom that is in this table can easily interchange with any carbon atom that you have in your body. And sometimes they have.
Arthur… But it still seems that the cell by having those three, past, present, future has a definition of itself.
Seth… Definition of self is a consciousness and that is what you are having trouble with.
Arthur… And the cell hasn’t got a high enough consciousness?
Seth… It is not a higher. It has what it has.
Are there any other questions?
George… I’ve been having some issues when you said last week to think about replacing the pet. And what I want to ask is being able to live with another pet in your life without replacing the pet you lost, still mourning, still honoring the pet that you lost? Like does it have to be you’re replacing?
Seth… From your standpoint the idea here is of a replacement for various issues that I would choose not to go into at this point of reference. You may take it as fact that the idea here is not honoring one pet opposed to another. It is your efforts to feel whole and that is the problem. Again, you suffered a loss once again and the replacement here is the issue. You understand?
Stephanie… So, he has to feel whole without the pet?
Seth… Correct.
George… Um.
Seth… I’m not telling you what to do, you’ve asked me a specific question and I have given you an answer. Go ahead.
George… Also, about the other assignments for tonight, if I made the wrong choice, is there another choice that I am not listing that will be more profitable for me to perhaps work through at this time? (This sentence was not clear in places but this is representative of George’s question.)
Seth… If you will notice and I will give you this in a specific answer, I could have picked any of them yet when one person at the table did not pick the one issue that is so paramount to themselves, I just ignored what that person said and I assigned what I knew would be the most profitable thing. You could have looked at any of them. There is nothing better or worse because who says I will not go back to that list in three weeks and make you do another one. Does that make you a little happier?
George… Yes.
Seth… I thought it would.
George… This is completely off topic…
Seth… Nobody has been on topic with every question. (Group laughter.)
George… The issue with my car, the piece the mechanic told me is missing from the bottom of my car…
Seth… Correct.
George… Would the mechanic down the road have it? (Loud group laughter.)
Seth… I believe you have to ask the mechanic down the road. (Continued laughing.) Do you understand why that is a free will question? Do you understand my real question? This is an important fact.
George… Is it free will…
Seth… You have an issue here. Do you understand why it is a free will question that I cannot answer?
George… I am looking for information.
Seth… No, you’re not. You are looking for somebody to tell you what to do.
George… I know I did but I don’t know if the mechanic is being honest with me or…
Seth… That’s free will. You have to make up your own mind. I can’t tell you that. (There was a long pause and George must have had a face on as there was laughter.)
Arthur… With my patient Carol who had a visitation from the young man who left his incarnation recently and then today came in, um she felt okay about that, and this week came in very, she felt like she was cracking open and she was seeing the world and the experience had sway and all of a sudden she is seeing auras around things. I simply worked with her to accept what she said and to validate it and also to help ground her. Are there other things should be looking at?
Seth… No. A person who has a gift, has to learn to use the gift. That’s the simple answer.
Jasmine… Is there anything you feel you need to talk to me about in regard to this session or anything else I might of missed? (To someone else) Remember, we said something like that?
Seth… I believe that one of the things that you miss in general is the lack of review. Whether you would choose to listen to a tape, review your notes. How is the book reading with “The Secret” going along? (Directed to Isabella.)
Isabella… Not good.
Seth… When have you read it last?
Isabella… (Not clear but perhaps, “A little bit.”)
Seth… Have you discussed it at all?
Isabella… You said to read ten pages.
Seth… No, I also said you still have to discuss it. I didn’t limit you to ten pages.
Jasmine… Well can I do it that way too?
Seth… No, because you really require more of a detailed and comprehensive ingestion of the material. The object here is that you must want to make these things factual for yourself. That is the key here. Therefore, you’re looking and learning from any specific session must be infused into you, like it is a transfusion if you will of knowledge. There is not one person in this room including the man through whom I speak that does not require a constant review of the material. The rereading, restudying, relooking at information is vital for your ability to make a change. One of the annoyances that I put out was certainly to Stephanie and to the man through whom I speak when I stopped them from reading the original book and I started them over from page one because they were rushing through the material at such breakneck speed that they lost the material, and they were just reading words. So, it is the review, the relooking at things, the contemplation of each word that makes a difference. If you were to reread the first session again where I spoke about many things you will find information there today that you did not see that then. Does that give you a hint?
Jasmine… Okay, thank you.
Seth… Yes.
Any other questions?
Let me leave you with this. Each step of your journey gives you a new sense of fulfillment. It will allow you to fulfill your needs and lessen your wants. Even during resting lives wants still show their ugly face. No life is perfect. Learn that your challenges and opportunities are there for the taking. Use them well so that when the repetition starts you will be able to understand the true nature of the challenge. Do your homework and make a plan.
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here this evening. We do will some housekeeping. I would like to make for this evening a number of position changes, do not sit Isabella. I want you near me over here, yes right there. Ah, Frank please take that seat there and let George go there.
Frank… Alright.
Isabella… We are being separated. (There was mumbling and discussion.) Is that the rational or I’m being punished?
Seth… I don’t punish, I don’t judge, I just require certain things that you will adhere to.
Lastly and under the terms of our housekeeping, a bit of work, Kaetorina, please tell the man through whom I speak I would like him to be a lot more diligent in terms of his listening to the tapes and doing what he is supposed to be doing.
Stephanie… These tapes?
Seth… Yes. The ones upstairs…
Stephanie… Not the ones that are typed?
Seth… Yes, finishing them and re-listening to them that our friend Frank and Isabella have and I believe that he has to get some work (done) there.
Let us hope our newcomer Joanne (Joanne was a friend and neighbor of Frank’s.) will enjoy her experience.
Under our subject of Change, there are great many facets if you will to the concept of Change. It is quite factual that many individuals choose not to change. In other words, you can rephrase it in modern terminology by having them clearly state, they just don’t get it. These are individuals who ask for advice when they are upset, when they are feeling desperate, when they are as best as can be described, at loose ends. Their histrionics leads them into places where they cannot be rational. Yet, no matter what they do, no matter how many questions they ask, the concept of changing themselves escapes them.
Jasmine, would you like me to wait for you?
Jasmine… No, I’m alright.
Seth… It escapes them because change itself requires dedication to self. Most of these individuals will profess the idea that they are working diligently. They cry out for assistance, yet they will make excuse after excuse not to listen. So, the question here arises, how do you deal with individuals who choose this path? You deal with them by routinely bringing them back to the position that they refuse to see.
Isabella… You should deal with bringing them back?
Seth… To the position that they refuse to see. The alcoholic for example knows full well that they have great difficulty. They are at best an addictive individual, yet they make excuses for not. They routinely choose to lose their possessions, loss of a job, a wife, respect for family and friends eludes them. They cannot fathom confrontation. They believe that individuals are picking on them. They see themselves as a victim of others. So, the question here again comes back to haunt them, how do I change when everyone else is incorrect? Why is it necessary for…
Jasmine… Everyone else is correct?
Frank… Incorrect,
Seth… Incorrect. Why is it necessary for me to demean myself by believing that the others know more than I do? I can do this whenever I choose to. I don’t have a problem. It is you or you who have difficulty in understanding. Change for them means a loss of control. I know that I can should I desire to do so. The question you ask these individuals is simple, why? Why is it that others see you differently than you see yourself? Is it weakness, fear, loss of self-respect? These are the issues that individuals have.
One deals with many types of these issues, the person who is a nonstop speaker who hogs conversation is afraid. Perhaps they will know who and what I am. The individual who is a hypochondriac who has one illness after another is afraid to become well and whole. Do for me. I require it. Change itself demands truthfulness. It is far too easy for those who inhabit the physical plane to deceive themselves into believing what they choose to make their own reality. So, the question arises, what reality have you made? What do you do to promote self? And are you willing to take responsibility for the ideas that you do not embrace? So, I ask each of you a question, look back and study yourself and see what you have not embraced. Do you require assistance but have chosen not to get it?
So, a simple assignment for each of you is to list five aspects of you that you have not yet chosen to deal with. (Adventurous reader, it would indeed be prosperous for you to do this exercise! FN) How truthful will you be? Or is it a simple matter that you do not get it? The universe will give you that which you require. Do you promote yourself when the world around you seems to fall apart or do you become angry and lash out against the invisible foe? How do you make change when you do not spend enough money on yourself?
We all know individuals who are overachievers, some would call them workaholics. They go out of their way to produce. They push aside anyone or anything that gets in their way. They choose not to be second class citizens, yet for most they achieve the promotion of the idea of self. Yet in reality they do not promote themselves. They focus only on the idea of… (dot, dot dot) They use friendship and loyalty to promote themselves at the expense of others. They demand one hundred percent from everyone else but give very little in return. They overreact to the slightest imagined problem. Everything becomes massive. They go from one catastrophe to another. One problem is never truly solved, it rears its face over and over again. They choose to forgo anything that stands in their way of success. The question here is what is success? How does one define that which is profitable as compared to that which is truly worthy of self? How do these individuals tally up their balance sheet? Is it in terms of money or should it be in terms of growth and development of self? That question is always left unanswered. These individuals overreact routinely. Road rage and violence are part of the cultural phenomena that mass consciousness is dealing with at this point of reference. There is great anger in the world. These individuals, I could have easily said these countries, view life as insignificant. They look to promote themselves in all circumstances. They will not take a backseat to anyone or anything.
The idea of change should be obvious. Change should allow you as an individual to shine. To promote yourself so that success follows you. How does one define success depending upon the soul age? Learning to stay alive and learning to fit in, to find your place within a society. Is it dealing with the physical plane and all it has to offer, money, power, authority? Is success learning to understand relationship issues? How do I deal with my husband or wife? What is my relationship to friends, family? How do I deal with money? What is my relationship to adversity, to difficulty? How do I handle the ideas that plague me? Do I fall apart, or do I rise like cream to the surface? Can I blend in with others or must I stand alone? Do I give of myself because I know something higher exits? Do I look to promote the wellbeing of others as a shepherd tends his flock? What can I give of self? How do I look to guide others so that their future can be made more comfortable? Do I smooth the road ahead for them? Or do I allow them to fail and then pick them up, dust them off and send them back on their way? These are the questions that souls of different age face. What have you done to change?
So once again we have come full circle. What don’t you understand? Why do the same problems plague you? Why are your chance encounters so similar? What about your seasonal players? (Seth has described life on the physical plane as being in a play. You are the star of your play as others are the star of their own plays. There are three types of supporting actors in your play. The first are “Chance Encounters” where the universe sends learning through a chance person, thing or event. The second is called a “Seasonal Player” who would be involved in your play to teach maybe one or two things of consequence but may not be that deep. Finally we have “The Life Time Player” who teaches many lessons at many levels.) What direction are they pointing you in? Are you an individual who needs to describe yourself and your family but not care or listen or understand there are others who have similar difficulties? Do you shine by carefully promoting that which increases your growth, or do you just pat yourself on the back and say I’m doing a good job; I’m working my hardest? How does that promote you? How does that make you feel? Each of you must view change as the very essence of your core beliefs.
Achievement is based upon that which you choose to become, not that which you are. Your own growth and development have always depended upon your ability to change. Have you ever noticed that there are many individuals who seem old at thirty? Have you ever wondered at how or why individuals are young and spry at eighty-five? The difference between these types of individuals is greater than the known universe. The question is here, which one are you? What do you choose to become and how do you choose to make changes? These are the questions that plague individuals for lifetime after lifetime. Sit down with yourself, meditate, contemplate you and you will find in many instances that what you believe is factual is in reality a camouflage system that allows you no growth.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(9:25 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue.
Are there any questions?
Isabella… What if the person knows that they have to change and they know exactly what it is they have to change but still have a hard time changing?
Seth… Well, let’s ask a simple question, since you have sought advice routinely from any number of people including myself but have chosen to disregard it, ignore it, and believe you should walk upon your own path then I highly encourage you to do so. (Somebody sneezed, another said, “Bless you.” With Seth then stating, “Interesting.” This has been repeated behavior in sessions. Seth explained once referring to The Middle Ages and fear of spirits and here we are still doing it in the 21st Century.) I highly encourage you to do so because you will choose not to learn until you choose to learn.
Isabella… That’s not the case because my body is in conflict over knowing what the right thing to do is.
Seth… There is no conflict.
Isabella… Yeah, there is a conflict.
Seth… No there is none.
Isabella… I feel a physical conflict.
Seth… No, there is no conflict, you will either do something, or you will not. The rest is an excuse. The rest is, the tension, the pressures, the worry, the upset-ness. All of this in reaction to I don’t get it!
Isabella… No, I get it, I just don’t…
Seth… No, you don’t get it. If you understood it and believed that change was necessary, then you would do it. The others are excuses for not. For example, when you are dealing with the idea here of getting tenure, you remember this clearly and information was given to you which was simple, do not take sides, do not speak to other individuals, do not offer opinion. You completely understood those words clearly, but you did not listen. You did not make them real to you, so therefore you know what occurred.
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… You didn’t get it, so until you could unlearn what you thought you knew and replace it with something else you suffer. Well, the truth here is you have an absolute right (underline the word absolute right.) to follow your own path. It doesn’t make it practical at times, it doesn’t make it favorable at times, but I hardly encourage you to follow your own path. But if you choose to be sullen, angry, bothered, sad, annoyed, frustrated then you only have one person to ask yourself a question. Why do I not get it? What fear prevents me from doing this?
Isabella… What is the fear?
Seth… That’s for you to figure out. I’m not going to help you. Do you understand so far?
Isabella… Yes, it’s just important.
Seth… Well, that is perfectly acceptable.
Are there any other questions?
Then let me leave you with this: Each of you makes choices, those choices help define you into who and what you are and what you choose to become. When your choices are successful you will understand it, you will not overreact, you will polish yourselves to a high luster. Your needs will be fulfilled, and your wants lessened.
Seth… Glad to have you all here. Depending upon how this session goes, it will either be short or long. (Isabella was trying to open a plastic package and having difficulty.) Whenever you are finished crinkling (Isabella laughing.) and decide to take notes we shall continue.
We shall make a brief pause; I can do some housekeeping work. The first thing I would like to touch on is replacement. George, in terms of housekeeping ideas, it would be incorrect for you to replace one animal with another, especially at this point of reference. (George, a veterinarian recently lost his German Shepard. He brought over an adorable German Shepard puppy who had lost some motor functioning due to vaccinations that he was nursing back to health.) And if the reason is not obvious to you, I believe we have an eminent master in the subject of animal replacement who happens to be sitting at the table this evening and I am sure Kaetorina may give a long dissertation on that specific subject. (Stephanie lost her cat several years ago and is only now considering getting a new cat as her daughter was learning to discern between bereavement and really valuing the cat.) That is the first bit that you have to understand. I am not saying not to love the animal or care for the animal but the replacement idea is quite detrimental.
Second bit of housekeeping goes to you, Isabella, one, you do know that you still have another session to type up?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Second of all, when you are indeed typing up the sessions, they are not complete until you re-listen to the entire session from beginning to end and make your proper corrections therein. Since it is incumbent upon you to do things in a correct manner, if you were grading a student’s paper with the amount of corrections, omissions and additions that you have done in session 358 you would give it an F. (There was a giggle.) And that is because you certainly to put it mildly rushed through it.
Isabella… I had to.
Seth… In the future, I will count it as incomplete so, you must be aware that you are doing this if you are going to do this with a…
Isabella… Full heart.
Seth… No, with a careful tone. Words that are changed give different meanings and since my ideas and meanings are used to convey specific ideas and since language itself is one of the poorest forms of communication you do not want to embellish upon that.
All that being stated, I will out of what I believe is necessity under our general topic of “Change”, change my lecture from what it was, and I will give it at a different point of reference to the idea here of Self-Worth.
I noticed quite carefully that you did not look up the reference point for that Isabella, did you?
Isabella… I didn’t know that was a task.
Seth… Did I not ask you to do it?
Isabella… I didn’t remember if you saying I had to… I didn’t remember.
Jasmine… What to look up self-worth?
Seth… Yes, therefore what I am going to have each of you do is to literally define your self-worth and we shall pass the microphone around and we shall do that. Betty, would you like to go first or last?
Betty… (By speaker phone,) Umm, last.
Seth… Good I am glad you decided to go first (Group laughter.) go ahead.
Betty… Who me?
Seth… Yes.
Betty… How would I define my self-worth?
Seth… Yes, how would you define yourself in terms of your own self-worth?
Betty… In terms of how I think about myself in a positive way and how I interact with others in a positive way.
Seth… How do you define self-worth? If somebody says, define yourself in terms of what you believe about yourself… Betty? (The puppy was barking.)
Betty… I believe… it’s hard for me to do (Inaudible.) I see myself as what it is I have to offer to others.
Seth… We’ll let it go. Kaetorina, start and pass it.
Stephanie… Why I would think I am worthy? Has to do with the idea that I assist people, help people. I feel that makes me worthy and important and valuable and all of that, healing and the helping piece. Whatever I can contribute to the world I feel makes me valuable and worthy… And what I can offer; I think that is the same thing.
Seth… Pass it along.
George… Self-worth is defined by somehow how good a life I am living, what I am doing, what I feel I can be doing for society and for myself and how completely I am living spending the time I have on this planet.
Jasmine… To me talking specifically about my self-worth, I think that I have come a long way in feeling more worthy than I ever did before through a lot of work that I have been doing. I’ve always felt worthy in my profession and had a lot of insecurities in other areas of my life, but I feel like I’m making some headway there, I still have more to do.
Frank… I feel I define my self-worth in terms of how the work is going as a therapist, how things are going as a parent and husband, how things are going in terms of where I am at with the spiritual work and etcetera.
Isabella… As per our conversation yesterday I apparently have no self-worth. (Said a bit dryly as Isabella just discussed these issues with Seth yesterday.)
Seth… Let us now and while I am saying these comments, I would suggest to you, Isabella, you go upstairs, bring down a dictionary and be prepared to read it. If you do not know where it is, I will give you some guidance.
Jasmine… I don’t think that self-worth will be in the dictionary, or worthiness maybe.
Seth… Let me ask you which gives a good point to a question, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Do you think I would send Isabella upstairs to find the dictionary if I did not know that the word “self-worth” was there?
Jasmine… I guess not.
Seth… I believe we have now scored Seth, one, and Jasmine, zero.
You would be amazed to note that the dictionary definition here is quite poor and I will deal with that in a moment. (Isabella was back with the dictionary.) If you would look under the idea of self-worth and then please read it out loud, we shall be able to continue.
(Isabella going through pages.) I suggest you start with the word “self”.
Isabella… Thank you.
Frank… When’s the last time you used the dictionary?
Isabella… Today actually.
Seth… Here we go.
Isabella… One’s worth as a person as perceived by one’s self.
Seth… Thank you. (The microphone fell into Isabella’s drink and people reacted.)
Which in reality (Sound was compromised.) worth can be divided or subdivided into so many categories that the idea becomes practically meaningless. Your definitions were obviously woefully inadequate.
Now, how you define yourself depends upon what reference point one looks at in terms of the situation that you are in. One may define themselves for example as a parent in certain ways. One may define themselves as a teacher, as a helper, yet the definition of self-worth is lacking no matter how you define yourself because of the fact that change dictates that you are different in whatever you do. The idea of a definition of self is problematical since it puts finite limits on your understanding of any particular situation.
A better idea would be the understanding of that which you do in a situation defines that which you are. An example here, if you see someone who is obviously in need, but you know that you cannot assist them. The question arises, what do you do? What is your self-worth then if you do nothing as compared to the self who takes the energy and ‘time” to have someone assist that other person? When one gives of themselves, one is then able to create that which another requires. But more importantly, it allows one to create for themselves a feeling of importance that you did not previously have.
Are you the individual who is critical, first of others and then of self? How often do these individuals point fingers at someone else and say, “Why didn’t you do me a favor? Can’t you understand where I am coming from? Why are you picking on me?”
These individuals routinely demean themselves and others. So, the question arises, what is their self-worth? When you as an individual allow someone to demean you, what are you telling yourself? How can one proceed to increase their self-worth when one makes no attempt to reconcile the opposing arguments that others give you?
Isabella… (Asked a question about being confronted.)
Seth… You allow someone to criticize you and you don’t respond. The idea of diminished obviously means to make smaller. When you are diminished by another’s actions and certainly your own inaction you have given away your power. You have moved away from that which you require to promote your own growth and development. This by no means should prevent anyone from giving justifiable criticism. It certainly does not mean that if you have made an error that you should not be willing to accept the criticism and CHANGE your position on any given subject.
Isabella… How can you tell the difference between destructive criticism and criticism that is helpful?
Seth… Criticism that is harmful is usually given out of anger. Do you understand? Criticism that is constructive is given in terms of, you did this, this is what I understand it to mean yet I believe this would have been better. Can you look at from a different point of view? That is constructive criticism. I believe you will get further if you do it this way than that way; but then when somebody who would say to another, “You say that to me why can’t I say that to you?” That is not constructive criticism. That is someone saying something in anger to get back at another to force them to feel diminished. Therefore, your own self-worth in accepting constructive criticism increases since it then becomes possible for you to make a change.
Destructive criticism diminishes your own self-worth should you choose to accept it. A clear example of this may be seen in the battered wife syndrome. Questions always arise, why did you stay there so long? Why don’t you walk out? When the individual does not walk out or walk away because their own self-worth is so small that they cannot reconcile the idea that the other is detrimental to them for they “WANT”!
(Someone asked a question.)
Seth… No, they want, the individual wants. They want them to like them, they want them to need them, they want them to accept them, they want them to love, hug, they want them to take their side. These are the issues that diminish not only their self-worth but yours as well.
Jasmine… How do you get…
Seth… If you have to victimize somebody, then what do you think about yourself?
Isabella… But why is that though? Why do people… What is the idea of the man who abuses or woman for that matter? Or the idea of being physically and mentally abusive. What is the gain there? Why do they do it?
Seth… The gain there is because they feel so small, so unimportant that they cannot sustain themselves by normal means and since you feel weak, powerless you then must increase or you believe that you can, (Seth hit table with finger for people to take notes.) you then must increase your own importance by making others subservient to you. It is the boss who will not admit his/her mistakes and demeans their employees and tells them they are inferior uneducated, improper, childish to promote themselves since they cannot face the mistake or error in judgment that they have made. Does that answer your question?
Isabella… Yes. It is hard for me to visualize that because I don’t see myself as being the abuser. I mean I know I have been on the other end of it.
Seth… Same thing.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… When you have something done to you the tendency is to do it to someone else. Therefore, you do it to other people that you find are safe and that is how it starts, and it starts with always lashing out instead of asking questions, “What did you mean? This is what I heard, what did you mean?”
Isabella… So, okay.
Seth… So, you start to lash out, you demean them, you don’t feel good about yourself from what they stated or said, your self-worth is diminished therefore you lash out to make their self-worth less then yours, you then feel more important because you “believe”, quotes here, you “believe” you won!
Isabella… You’re a victim of belief, hence belief.
Seth… Always, in many forms because their self-worth is so diminished.
Isabella… So, in my situation with John, and when I was abused by him in the beginning when I was younger, is that why I became such a tough teenager?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Because I was feeling …
Seth… Your actions towards other boyfriends, your husband, your parents, friends all can be connectable to the idea of self-worth, here.
Isabella… Because I was abused by him in the beginning?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, had that not happened?
Seth… It happened and we are not going to speculate, had it happened, might had happened, should have happened…
Isabella… So, I learned self-worth through that relationship obviously or lost self-worth through that relationship and then in turn tried to gain my own self-worth in negative ways.
Seth… In inappropriate ways. You understand? When someone says something or anything that you do not understand, like or are bothered by, now you feel diminished. You then go ahead and then instead of lashing out before you utter a sound you make a statement, “I heard this, did you mean it and if so, why?” You understand? I believe that will certainly help you.
Isabella… (Was very difficult as the microphone remained compromised to hear but the question had to do with getting angry.)
Seth… It is giving you a chance to understand. Again, I repeat the worse form of communications is words whether written or spoken since there are so many meanings to that word. If you will look at the dictionary definition again of self-worth, does it mean what you have now come to understand? Therefore, words are a poor form of communication because they often do not give you that which you require.
When you do not feel good about self you tend to camouflage it, you cover it over, you do things to prevent yourself from having the ability to change, such as I always lash out, I’m always angry, I always look at the worst part of things, I believe there is not enough.
Isabella… How is that camouflage though?
Seth… Because there is always enough. Self-worth itself should routinely be evaluated. What are you? How do you look at yourself? And this self study if you will is mandatory if growth is to occur. The old soul routinely examines who and what he/she is. They digest material and present it as an opportunity to themselves as well as others. The old soul rarely lashes out since anger leads to nothing but suffering and suffering occurs both on the victim’s part and the giver’s part.
(There was a question by Stephanie involving old souls being victimized by young souls.)
Seth… They allow themselves to become a victim of younger souls here because they are so easily taken advantage of.
Each of you should go back and look at your answer to my question. How do you define yourself? What is your self-worth? And if you do not like what you see, what is your plan to change? Are you routinely giving away your power? What do you do? What actions will you take to improve? Are you too heavy? Do you smoke? Are you overwhelmingly critical of others? Do you lash out? Are you intolerant? These questions are necessary if change is to take place.
The question arises, how good do you truly feel about yourself? Do you enjoy you? Do you enjoy you?! And for most the answer will be, “No, I know there is room for improvement.” Then to increase your self-worth, what are you willing to do to redefine that which you are. (It is here that the sound dramatically improved, the water in the microphone must have cleared.) Are your chance encounters the same? Do you attract the same difficulties and challenges over and over again? Have you asked yourself, how long, how long? And the simplest answer of them all is obvious. How long?
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break 9:14 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue. Frank, I believe that I must thank you for volunteering to type this session as well. (Stephanie giggled.) I am stating this for a reason you obviously do not find obvious or clear. After you type this session, screen it carefully, look at any typing errors and make sure that the words are exact. I would strongly suggest that you print a copy and give it to your daughter.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… She will do wonders with it; I would suggest moving out after that but… (Laughter.) It is really necessary for her growth and development because I think the idea of confrontation, this of course you will type in as well, works both ways.
Frank… Yes.
Seth… There are obvious errors that you have made, obvious errors that she makes and believe that a fair discussion on each side of the aisle if you will here, will be necessary to allow both of you to mend your wounds. And I believe that if she will read it at all the idea of an open line of communication would be helpful and therefore, I would suggest that you go ahead and ask her to read this and then say as soon as you finish, I would like to have a small discussion with you upon the lecture that was given. I believe that will help you tremendously.
Frank… So, I can type it up first because I was going to have a conversation (with her shortly.)
Seth… Yes, I would certainly do that. And that is the reason why I have asked you to volunteer, and I am so glad that you did.
Frank… I appreciated the last two that I am almost done typing them up.
Seth… Perfectly fine, aren’t you glad I didn’t make you do it, Isabella?
Isabella… I have so much work going on right now, you have no idea. I haven’t finished “The Secret”, I haven’t typed a session and…
Frank… I think he knows. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Do you think that would stop me?
Isabella… No but I’m just…
Seth… Well, it could be next week too!
Isabella… Please don’t.
Seth… And Jasmine you will eventually have to do one as well.
Isabella… Oh goodie! (The group laughed as Jasmine did not look so happy.)
I will help you.
Frank… (To Jasmine) What did you say to me three months ago when I mentioned typing up a session?
Seth… Now, are there any questions?
Isabella… George said that through all of his veterinarian work and studying he wants to type sessions also! (Group laughter.)
Frank… Oh, you are so helpful. (Isabella laughed.)
Seth… Oh well, we will allow him to do one after you do the next four.
Isabella… Really. (To George.) Ain’t no doubt, honey. (Laughs.)
Seth… Let us move along, are there any other questions?
George… Can they be off topic questions?
Seth… You can go ahead and make them on topic because at least for now I believe the idea of self-worth is quite important.
Stephanie… Bill asked me to ask you a question and is it sufficient to use this lecture as the answer?
Seth… I believe that a large portion of this is due to the fact, you may write this down.
Stephanie… Oh, okay.
Seth… It would be nice. (Stephanie laughs.) A large portion of his definition for himself of his own self-worth is due to his diminished ability to look at, question and understand his parents’ role in his existence. When one is frightened by their parents the question of love becomes difficult at best. Love on the physical plane can be described as a compromise, if you do this, I will provide you with that. If you help me, I will help you. When love becomes demanding, very commonly individuals close off. They wall themselves to prevent hurt. They change who and what they are. This individual will routinely make excuses for the other.
Stephanie… For the other, meaning the parent?
Seth… Meaning the parent.
Isabella… Does it have to be a parent, or can it be somebody else?
Seth… For the other. They over exaggerate even the smallest kindness or activity that has been thrown to them. They refuse to become angry when they are routinely hurt. They bury their feelings. Their camouflage system does not allow any change to occur. They truly become victims of themselves out of fear of losing what they believe they have. Comments such as, “I don’t want to hurt them. They’re too old, they cannot change their ways,” “We’re just not a close family,” all deceive our victim. What is their self-worth? Most commonly these individuals have large social problems. They do not know how to make and keep friends. They believe that individuals are their friends when in reality they are just casual observers. They work for individuals who victimize them and their friendships at work are few and far between. Their relationships with their family are poor. Their dealings with their husband/wife are often seen as a battleground. They attempt to live through their children, and they tend to victimize others whenever they feel poorly or diminished by someone else. They have no true concept of the word, love! They deny the existence of their own feelings. They do not understand the true meaning of loyalty and friendship. Simply put, they live in fear!
I believe that should hold him. (Stephanie laughed.)
Stephanie… I would say so.
Isabella… I’m a little confused as to who these people are and how do they become this way.
Seth… You believe…
Isabella… Like, who are these people?
Seth… Who are which people?
Isabella… Who are the people that you are talking about here that… (Isabella rustling through her notes,) “Love becomes demanding, individual wall off to prevent hurt, they change who and what they are, they will make excuses for others, they over exaggerate even the smallest kindness.” Whose “they”, like how does the person become this person?
Seth… When you live within a family background where love is demanded in certain ways, if you love me, you will take sides with me. You will do with what I tell you to do. You will make sure that if I dislike that person, you will dislike that person and if you don’t, I will withdraw my love from you.
Isabella… So those people who become this, have social problems all based on… family…
Seth… Sounds familiar?
Frank… A little bit.
Seth… I thought it might.
Isabella… All based on family upbringing?
Seth… Family dynamics.
Isabella… So, this idea of not being able to, I’m thinking even more of like Jacob in that respect even with the inability to have feelings or love and in any way…
Seth… Feel free to send him a copy of this lecture. (Stephanie laughed.)
Isabella… Yeah. Social, but he didn’t really have social problems or so he didn’t believe that he did. I guess the attempt to victimize others whenever they feel poorly, they don’t understand the true meaning of loyalty and friendship. This is all based on having a family… a background of family dynamics?
Seth… It is what they digested as they grew up.
Isabella… And we were trying to put that on to me because I don’t feel that was… that I had that growing up, that severe.
Seth… It is a question of degree.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… If you did not align yourself with one party what did that party do to you?
Isabella… I know you say withdraw love, but I don’t remember it that way. Do you know what I mean? I don’t remember it as withdrawing love.
Seth… Depending upon how your definition of love is, I believe you can have this discussion with Kaetorina or your therapist at your leisure. (Isabella laughed.)
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Well we’re talking about Bill here…
Seth… Part of you…
Stephanie… As part of me, right. So, he is going to say haven’t I made progress?
Seth… And the question is what does the word progress mean? In other words, if you have for example a journey of a thousand miles, we use an old example, and you take one step, have you not made progress to complete that journey?
Stephanie… Yeah! (Said in a way that was tongue in cheek.)
Seth… The question is what does that mean and it obviously means nothing.
Stephanie… Right, any true progress would be just getting away from these people.
Seth… No, true progress is not getting away, it is learning to confront in a proper and justifiable manner. True progress is learning to confront in a kind and justifiable manner.
Stephanie… Okay, so then he would want to ask did he do that today with his boss.
Seth… It is not for me to say; it is for him to say.
Stephanie… Oh. He’s going to say I knew you were going to say that. (Group laughter.)
Frank… He doesn’t even have to be here.
Stephanie… Okay, let’s say he did do that, alright then isn’t that true progress though?
Seth… What does the word “true progress” mean?
Stephanie… That he confronted…
Seth… If he has taken two steps but taken nine backwards how much progress has he made?
Stephanie… Alright, not much.
Seth… I understand.
George… I have a question about not allowing yourself to be victimized and standing up for yourself to promote what you need.
Seth… Let us ask you a simple question, when you desired to make a change for yourself and you wanted to redefine how you looked at you and you did, what happened?
George… You mean my… (Not clear.)
Seth… To you, what happened with and to you?
George… (Paused and did not speak.)
Seth… Do you see how you define yourself poorly in terms of self-worth?
George… Oh, yeah.
Seth… The answer should have been obvious. I’ll give you a hint, has a number three with concern with it. (Looking at Isabella who was going to answer.) Don’t!… Yes, you were trying.
Isabella… I wasn’t trying, I just realized. (Stephanie giggled.)
George… I don’t know, I’m not going to get this.
Seth… Well, let us go back a few months ago. If I give you the word lists and placement does that help?
George… Em hmm.
Seth… Does that help? What does it mean?
George… That was when I was deciding where I wanted to go and how I was…
Seth… And what happened when you decided to redefine yourself?
George… I didn’t really redefine myself.
Seth… Sure, you did, otherwise nothing would have happened.
George… Nothing did happen with that.
(Seth and Isabella said, “Really!” at the same time and Frank chuckled.)
Seth… We will end this at this point, and I believe Kaetorina will have a lovely time with you on whatever night you see her. Give us a moment, Thursday.
George… Can I still ask my question?
Seth… Now you can.
George… In terms of
Seth… (To Isabella.) Do not give an answer!
Isabella… Okay. I won’t.
George… In promoting yourself I have had a couple of situations with people at work recently where I have sort of stood up and not acquiesced to what other people asked of me because my personal feelings were that they were unreasonable and…
Seth… Did you say this is unreasonable?
George… Yeah, I did that, and I don’t think that they understood.
Seth… Did you explain why you believed it was unreasonable?
George… I did.
Seth… Then at the end of your explanation did you ask a simple question? “Do you understand where I am coming from?”
George… No, I didn’t ask that.
Seth… Then how did you know that they understood?
George… I don’t think they were very receptive to understanding my point of view.
Seth… It is not even a question of that. Let’s assume they were not, did you simply say, “Do you understand where I am coming from?”
George… No.
Seth… And my question is then why bother even making a statement. If you have no idea whether an individual understands you, why make a statement? Does that make sense to you? In other words, if you ask me for example, how do I go ahead and I change my life and I answer you… harumagggchua…. (Seth went on with gibberish sounds.) Did you understand that?
George… Not most of it. (Group laughter.)
Frank… That should be interesting to type… harumagggchua…
Seth… And you can obviously say Seth said…
Stephanie… Japanese.
George… Gibberish.
Seth… Said Gibberish.
But you had no concept of what I said. Yet, I know that I did answer you correctly from that statement but since you have no idea where I am coming from or what I said why was it necessary for you to let it go? Which is what happens when you explain your side of a difference and you then say nothing, you assume that the other individual either agrees with you, hates you or whatever. So, the point of it is what is your self-worth there if you take no care about yourself and do not stand up for yourself and say, “Do you understand where I am coming from? And if you do not, I would like a chance to explain it to you in a way that is calm so that you can understand where I am coming from. I am not asking you to agree with me, I am asking you to understand.” Do you see the difference? Did that answer your question?
George… In terms of what I should do…
Seth… Do you understand?
George… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… So, how does one go about changing…
Seth… (Seth repeated while he handed Isabella the microphone.) How does one go about changing…
Isabella… themselves and understanding the dynamic that their past or that their family or past relationships have had on them?
Seth… Do you remember the beginning portion of this lecture?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… When I gave you that answer?
Isabella… Um, “One may define…”
Seth… I don’t ask you to read it now, but I did give you that exact answer in the beginning portion of this lecture. One must be slow, one must take a step backwards, one must ask, do you remember this?
Isabella… But I wrote everything in the beginning, so I don’t know why I missed that.
Seth… I cannot answer that question.
Isabella… So, it’s just really understanding the dynamic and…
Seth… When someone says something to you that you have difficulty with and I am repeating myself, if you do not understand them you take a step backwards and simply state, this is what I heard you say, this is what I believe you meant if it isn’t could you explain it to me.
Isabella… I understand that but in…
Seth… That is how change occurs.
Isabella… But how does one go about improving their self-worth?
Seth… You improve your self-worth by getting clarification as an action occurs. Remember I have always stated that when one reacts one does not get anywhere. You approach each situation as if it was the first time. Do you understand? And that is how you proceed, for if you do not allow each situation to be anew then you do not gain, you are repeating again and again and again. So, each time you must approach something as if it was new and once your actions change your self-worth improves.
Isabella… So, in terms for me, relationships and negative relationships and being the victim…
Seth… Why look at negative relationships?
Isabella… Just relationships in general.
Seth… Why don’t you look at the positive relationships? Far too many individuals only concentrate on the negative situations.
Isabella… I’m just thinking about my repeating.
Seth… Far too many people only concentrate on the negative situation. One learns by understanding the positive, what works, if something works and it is profitable for you then it should be repeated. What causes you difficulty, what causes you not to improve are the negative aspects of learning. And so, you observe them and let them pass.
Isabella… So, in relationship to what we were talking about yesterday as well as today in this idea of my getting into relationships with people where I become a victim, I don’t see, I guess there have been so few relationships that I have had were I am not the victim, so it is so difficult… I feel that it is very difficult for me to learn from those positive experiences because there have been so few of them.
Seth… That’s why they are so important. Do not dismiss two out of ninety, use the two to eliminate the eighty-eight. Do you understand?
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… (Stephanie was automatically handing the microphone to George.) Why am I’m giving it to you? You must have one.
George… Obviously, you think I need to ask more questions. (Group Laughter)
Frank… Here, ask a question.
Isabella… Ask.
Stephanie… Go ahead, ask.
George… I’m really struggling with the idea that I am looking for now all of a sudden having that my decision to stay on with my current job for another three years is a choice.
Seth… Correct.
George… And I guess I never really viewed it as a choice and obviously I am having a lot of second thoughts.
Seth… Third thoughts.
George… Third thoughts.
Seth… Fourth thoughts. Is that not something you were looking forward to doing?
Your fear is that you are not worthy and that you don’t have the ability. If you would like to go through the rest of your life with that knowledge, please quit. (A couple of people said, “Whoa” and then there was a long pause.)
Frank… A hush fell over the audience.
Stephanie… Is he creating imagined difficulty?
Seth… Let us assume that this is a very, very difficult program.
Stephanie… Which it is.
Seth… Let us also assume that he has some intelligence.
Stephanie… Which he does.
Seth… Let us assume he can use it.
George… So, it is self-doubt or the lack of discipline and mental strength to get…
Seth… Did you have the discipline to go to high school?
George… Yep.
Seth… College?
George… Yeah, sure.
Seth… Graduate School?
George… Got through it.
Seth… Did you not impress enough people so that you finally got what you desired?
George… Through as you said, an unusual path I guess…
Seth… It doesn’t matter, usual or unusual, did you not impress people to get what you wanted?
George… Yes.
Seth… Yes, I believe Seth, one, George, zero. (Laughter.)
Are there any other questions?
Isabella… This is great.
Seth… Thank you, they usually are. (Laughter.) I’m modest too.
Let me leave you all with this: Change is necessitated by how you define yourself. One must learn to define themselves from point of reference to point of reference, from situation to situation. In doing so your needs will be met, your wants lessened, and your stature will rise. By the next time we meet, may you all be taller and more self sufficient. I bid you all a very fond good evening.
Delusions, Camouflage Systems and Discovering Happiness
Tuesday May 13, 2008
8:35 p.m.
Seth… Good evening.
All… Good evening.
Seth… Pleasure to have all of you here again this evening. I have transmitted through our friend Frank (some material from today’s session and “The Happy Memory Meditation.” was discussed. This meditation was given to us several years earlier.), we will continue on with the general category of Change and we shall deal with delusions, camouflage systems and anything else I care to bring to your attention.
Individuals as I have previously stated delude themselves out of fear, fear of not being liked, fear of a challenge, fear of accomplishing that which they feel that they must and so with these delusions in hand they proceed to attempt to cover up that which our soul feels is unnecessary or too difficult for them to accomplish.
Jasmine… I’m confused.
Seth… What are you confused about Jasmine? And here then take the microphone, please.
Jasmine… Right. You said that individuals delude themselves out of fear such as not being liked, they have fear of a challenge they may have to face and so with these delusions in hand so what’s the delusion?
Seth… The delusion is how to escape or to avoid facing the challenge, how to not follow through with things that they should.
Jasmine… That’s a delusion?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… Oh, they create something that makes it impossible for them to deal with what they are supposed to do.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… Oh, okay.
Seth… Or should do or want to do or need to do.
Jasmine… The delusion is creating something…
Seth… Delusions basically mean moving from fact into fiction, truth into falsehood.
Jasmine… (Reading and writing her notes.) The understanding that blocks them from dealing with their fear?
Seth… No, the fear is what is causing them to do something.
Jasmine… Oh, so dealing with…
Stephanie… Reality.
Jasmine… With the reality?
Frank… They don’t want to face the fear, so they create a delusion so that they don’t have to (face the fear).
Seth… An example here Jasmine…
Jasmine… So maybe I should say that.
Seth… An example here, Jasmine is quite simple. When… your… and write this down.
Jasmine… (Talking at same time.) Don’t want to… let me just write… don’t want to face fear so they create, what? What did you say, Frank?
Frank… (Laughing.) I can’t read what I say back.
Jasmine… Create a delusion? Okay, go ahead, Seth.
Seth… An example here is simple: when Isabella was late. What did you do? You were full of anxiety, fear, nervousness.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… So, what, write this down, so what you immediately did is you conjured up places and events and ideas that caused you more anxiety. You moved from a place of truthfulness to a place of fiction. The most likely scenario of course was that Isabella was going out with a young man and at their ages they were probably engaged (Isabella begins to laugh.) in activities that need not be mentioned.
Jasmine… So, in this particular example the delusion…
Seth… The delusion was to get you…
Jasmine… made me feel worse!
Seth… Of course. Who says delusions have to make you feel better? You have a tendency to catastrophize. So, you create a system from something that is factual to something that is false. So, you catastrophize. You make things worse than what they are. Do you understand?
Jasmine… So catstrophizing is a delusion?
Seth… It is the result of fear. Do you understand so far?
Jasmine… I was interpreting the delusion as; you know people delude themselves into thinking something else like so that they don’t have to look at the real issue they create another scenario that is easier to look at.
Seth… Isn’t that exactly what you are doing?
Jasmine… No, I made it a hundred times worse.
Seth… Excuse me, when you go ahead and if your idea here and your task is partially to learn how to leave negative energies go through you. We are correct with that?
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… So now if we are correct with that idea when you catastrophize something you prevent yourself from doing it because it is difficult for you to let things pass so you make everything so difficult, such a monumental disaster, that nobody could leave it go. And then of course what you then do is you go ahead, and you then enlist help of others to get you through the disaster. Do you understand this?
Jasmine… I’m trying to.
Seth… In other words, you will turn to somebody like the man through whom I speak, to Kaetorina, all in a panic situation, an unhappy situation so that you can push off your unhappiness to somewhere else. That is part of your delusional ability. You don’t want to handle negative energies so you make them so bad that somebody else must help you with them instead of just letting it pass through.
Jasmine… Well, that is a whole other slant on my thinking about delusions because I never thought of it in those terms.
Seth… You’re thinking of delusions in something such as if somebody for example has fear of flying in an airplane they will make up scenarios for themselves…
Jasmine… So, they don’t have to go on a plane.
Seth… So, they don’t have to go on to a plane.
Jasmine… Right or somebody who wants to convince themselves that they have actually, you know, worked through an issue when they haven’t. It’s a delusion.
Seth… Yes, and very commonly individuals do this. Whether it is the not working through the, I am going to not catastrophize syndrome as you are capable of doing or you are going to go ahead and learn to define yourself… (Isabella was talking to Stephanie.) Are we finished? Are we going to define ourselves in terms of how we are with other people? In other words, if you define yourself as being a good steady strong person if I have a man in my life then what happens if I don’t? So therefore, I will delude myself into accepting any attention from a male. All theses type of delusions are just habits that individuals pick up along the way. Now they do this so that they can camouflage that which they need to study.
Jasmine… Say that again please, people do this to camouflage?
Isabella… So, they make up delusions…
Seth… that which they need to study.
Jasmine… Right, that which they need to study…. (Jasmine is reading/mumbling to herself.) to create the delusion so that…
Stephanie… So, they don’t have to look at it.
Jasmine… Oh.
Stephanie… They look and go “AAAAh”. (Laughter.)
Seth… Now, so you have a system that you fool yourself so that you do not have to look, that is the camouflage system. You put things to the side, not that they ever disappear, they do not for they are covered over and made invisible if you will so that our individual does not have to learn from or deal with those perceptions. Now, individuals carry on with these delusional properties and camouflage systems and they become more complicated and grander if you will the longer that camouflage system is allowed to remain in place. It is far more difficult to accept reality the longer our individuals allow the transparency of the delusion to go on. Now I use the term here “transparency” because all delusions may be seen through by first others and then of course by the self. How many times do individuals say, “What are you saying? What are you doing?” And then our soul makes up large excuses for their actions. The woman who is battered will have a myriad of reasons for going back to this type of a person. The individual who is an alcoholic clearly states, “I don’t have a problem.”
Jasmine… You mean they say when confronted by others who speak to them…
Seth… No, they say it to themselves.
Jasmine… Oh, so the self can see through the transparency?
Seth… “I don’t have a problem. I don’t have to worry about this; I can stop drinking whenever I want to.” and that is the delusion in and of itself. So, it gets camouflaged by the idea of since I can stop whenever I want to, but I don’t choose to stop now. So, the camouflage system prevents the dealing with the difficulty. The type of individual that you are determines what type of camouflage system you use whether it be denial, whether it be anger. All these systems matter not; it is the actions that matter. When one then learns to redefine themselves and to strip away that which is bothering them then the true belief systems can be focused upon, and the questions asked why do I believe this to be factual.
Jasmine… Okay, hold it, when one learns to redefine self, strip away what is bothering them then the true belief systems can be looked at?
Seth… Correct. For example here, if you, Jasmine were going to look at the belief system of why is it necessary for me to enlist help and catastrophize things, first the behavior itself obviously stems from your parents but second of all and more importantly when you created for yourself a disaster out of anything and it doesn’t matter the specific instance it became apparent to you that when you did this as a young child people came to your assistance and love and kindness were given then. So, what did you learn? You learned to not to allow negative energies to pass through you but to use them to obtain love.
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… Because if you were in trouble, people were kind, they loved you but as you developed this system it became more and more evident to you that you required larger and larger and more complicated systems of disaster and soon it became apparent to you that no matter what was going on you required a disaster to have individuals assist you. And you do this so that you do not have to deal with the negative aspects of common day events. The typical answer here is, “Could you do this for me? Would you do me a favor? Would you get me this? I can’t do that.” So, you make your day-to-day existence revolve around things that you are not instead of things that you are and most individuals in general will do this if they require or believe that they create a system of need which is in reality a want system.
When you create a system that you believe favors you it is necessary for you to examine routine actions. When you apply yourself to change you will immediately note your own actions and reactions to what you believe hurts you so you will tend not to heal your wounds but to change you will not heal your wounds, you tend to recreate events to reopen the wound so that you may have another opportunity to heal this. That is why individuals will seek out others who will bother them or hurt them or inflict themselves upon them. For example, if you are an individual who needs to be taken care of, you will find individuals who in the beginning will enjoy taking care of you and you will do this routinely. You may even play it from the other way; you will find individuals who are so needy it forces you to take care of them. They are the same idea. So, in doing this what do you get? You get a situation where you delude yourself into believing that you are making progress where in reality you are not. (And all of that may be underlined, you delude yourself into believing you are making progress but in reality, you are not.) And you are not making progress because you have not changed that which you require. In that instance if you are an individual who requires aid the question arises, what do you do to strengthen you? How do you make yourself stronger, more capable? What type of individuals do you attract towards yourself? These are the type of questions that one must look at and again the camouflage system that you set up here is the delusion. So, it comes to be that what you see with physical plane eyes is a departure from the truth and reality as the individuals around you will see and testify to. Commonly these individuals will hear, “What do you see in this person? How do they help you? What are you getting from them?” And then the answer always comes, “I know what I am doing. We are just friends. We are going ahead and enjoying each other’s company.” So that may actually be truthful, however it is not profitable because you are still maintaining the “I will take care of you, or you will take care of me syndrome.” So how do you go ahead and define yourself in that situation? You define yourself by being needy.
There are other individuals who will go ahead and change how they are and what they define themselves to be when different relationships arise. Yet, the overriding factor is still one in this instance of need. The person who defines himself one way with friends commonly needs to be called by the friend, looks to the friend to provide them with entertainment and sustenance. By sustenance I mean the feeling of being fed and you are being fed love and devotion by the friend but in reality, you are demanding it and still in need.
Jasmine… So, it is all about need so they are not really giving two different things?
Seth… They define themselves differently but in reality, the underlying cause is need.
Stephanie… What are they demanding?
Seth… They are demanding sustenance, feed me.
Stephanie… Right, by the friend and you are demanding which you have already said (Stephanie reading notes.) providing entertainment and sustenance, you get the feeling of being fed by the friend and you are demanding…
Seth… You are demanding that they give to you. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Oh, yeah.
Frank… But the being needy is want?
Seth… The being needy is of course want, it is not need. Need is in reality on the physical plane that which sustains you, that which you grow from, that which makes you more profitable whether it be in a spiritual sense, in a physical sense, that which you require for your health and well-being. But to be needy or wanting is a lack and those lacks of course are creating voids. So, what you do with that is you create a delusion that the void is not as large as everyone else sees it is; you cover it up. It is for example, if you had a large hole in your backyard and you have two choices. You may fill it in, pack it down, plant grass and allow the area to re-grow or you take grass cloth and cover it over, yet the hole or void is still there and all of sudden as points of reference change you walk on the grass cloth and fall in. And then you pick yourself up and put the grass cloth back (Seth pounded table with pointer finger indicating to Stephanie to write it down.) and then some time later when you are least aware of it walk over and fall in again until you recover the void with another delusion and you put more grass cloth over it and you walk back again and again and each time you constantly say this the delusion and the void becomes larger so you are covering it over each time without getting rid of it. Do you understand, Frank?
Frank… Yeah, my idea of when I am lost in the forest and I find the latest method, its just throwing a grass cloth over…
Seth… Absolutely.
Frank… and then I don’t have to pay attention and five minutes later…
Seth… and you do your self no good.
Isabella… I don’t even have a question. I’m just feeling very disheartened by this lecture so…
Seth… Congratulations. Maybe you can learn something.
Isabella… Obviously, but I mean… I don’t know, I’m just really having a hard time. I feel like…
Seth… What you are saying is so I am sorry for myself because I recognize my own failings.
Isabella… Yeah, but I don’t see light (Isabella is tearful) at the end of the tunnel. I feel like…
Seth… Of course, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Isabella… No, I feel like I am stuck. I feel like I can’t move forward, and I have been in this place for so long and I…
Seth… That is the problem with delusions when you finally see the delusion change can be instantaneous. Let me give you an example of what I mean. When for example you decided that you did not like your body or your appearance, you made an instantaneous change that is still following through with. Now, if you would then let us take the last ten years point of reference, the last ten years, so you are now twenty-nine so we are going to look at the time period from nineteen to twenty-nine and would you casually say that there was innumerable numbers of times in that ten year span that you did not like your body, you were overweight, you were underweight, you were promising yourself all sorts of things. How often did you keep up with doing what you were doing as compared to now?
Isabella… I didn’t.
Seth… So, change can be instantaneous. It is not a question of a light at the end of the tunnel, it is a question of choosing a different point of reference and you may do that whenever you choose to do that whether it be in this lifetime or the next or the next or the next and change works that quickly. You may change when you choose to do so. Do you understand?
Now, one of the aspects of change that most individuals look at are the times, write this Isabella, are the times when they are unhappy. They examine their unhappiness, they pick it apart, they walk into trees, they fool themselves, they fool others and so with all this they gain something, not much but they gain something. So, I strongly suggest that if change is going to become profitable you must learn to examine something else and what you must learn to examine and study, underline that what you must learn to examine, and study is in capital letters HAPPINESS! Let us ask a simple question within the past week by a simple show of hands, yes or no it matters not, how many of you have studied your own happiness?
Isabella… I have.
Seth… Really, how?
Isabella… I have thought about the situation I am in is not making me happy and how I was happier prior to the situation.
Seth…. That is not studying your happiness. That’s one down, (to Frank) go.
Frank… I played great tennis.
Seth… And you hurt your elbow and you complained about it. You’re out, next.
Frank… I want a rematch. (Frank laughed.)
Jasmine… I thought about the fun times I had with my grandsonand how delightful it was.
Seth… But that was not your happiness; that is something, no that is something that you did (Jasmine was arguing in the background.) Studying your own happiness is not studying an event, it is studying self.
Kaetorina?
Stephanie… I was realizing that something I was doing was continuing to make me upset so I kind of stopped doing that.
Seth… That’s not studying your happiness that is studying your unhappiness. (Group laughter.)
Frank… Can I try again?
Seth… No. (Laughter)
Frank… Damn.
Seth… So, what I am giving you here is a methodology if you will, for each of you to bring into your self that which you enjoy. I have previously given you an exercise in meditation on something that is pleasant. Our Friend Frank will call it a “Happy Memory Meditation”. (See the instructions for “The Happy Memory Meditation” at the end of this session.)
Frank… You all just got it in an e-mail, today.
Seth… Notice, I do read. Now, but it is more than the idea of a happy memory.
Jasmine… Meditating on a happy memory?
Seth… It is more than that and yes, I agree that each one of you should do this. But to examine happiness means to examine the feelings and the emotions that give you what you require and that dear students is something that not one of you, no one here does routinely. Therefore, if change is to occur which is more profitable, looking at what makes you unhappy and trying to get rid of it or moving towards something that you enjoy that makes you happy, that you enjoy that makes you happy from the inside out and then just discarding that which is not suitable?
Jasmine… What’s the other? The thing that makes you unhappy?
Seth… Things plural, that are not profitable that you are unhappy about. For example, if Jasmine, you decided to change at this point of reference and Isabella came in at 4:00 in the morning, well, you instead of being worried where she is, “Is she alive? Is something going on?” You may be very happy to yourself and say, “I hope that she has had a good time with… I hope it was fabulous for her.”
Do you understand? That is an instantaneous change, and it takes you away from fear into a place of comfort and that is what each of you must learn to do. So, you are getting rid of the uncomfortable feeling, (Seth was tapping the table to indicate to take notes.) you are getting rid of the uncomfortable feeling replacing it with a comfortable feeling, a joyous one at that and this allows you to discard the negative aspect of any situation!
Jasmine… Say that last part again.
Seth… And this allows you to discard the negative aspect of any situation! All underlined exclamation point.
Jasmine… Negative aspects of any situation?
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… Isn’t that like the person looking at the cup half full or half empty? In a way?
Seth… In a way it is like looking at a cup half full or half empty.
Stephanie… But this feels like a camouflage to me. (Stephanie giggled and Frank laughed.)
Seth… It is not a camouflage system because what you are doing in reality saying, “This is something that is going on, my daughter is late.”
Stephanie… Right but you are covering over…
Seth… No, I’m not.
Frank… You have to understand it.
Seth… I am saying, where do I go with that? There is a physical fact, my daughter is late. There is a physical fact my daughter has difficulty with math.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Now you have two choices if my daughter Natalie has a problem with mathematics I can become overwhelmingly concerned, fearful that she can’t add properly, or I may look at the idea of she is making progress.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Show me how that is a camouflage system?
Stephanie… No, that I do and I understand that but if Jasmine…
Seth… It is the same principle.
Stephanie… is anxious.
Seth… If you are anxious about something…
Stephanie… First you are anxious and then she is going to all of a sudden say, “I hope she is having a good time.”?
Seth… I hope she is having a good time. I am going to go ahead and not proceed along the way in which I normally do. I’m not covering over the hole; I am going to fill it in with something that is more profitable. I am dealing with and understanding that which went on.
Stephanie… Right but that is not her true feeling on the subject.
Seth… Her true feeling will then be different the next time and the next time and the next time. I am not stating that somebody will say, “Oh, she’s late who cares!” I’m stating that the next time Isabella is late, or something happens, “Hmm, nothing happened that was difficult for me therefore I will assume that things may not be as tragic or catastrophe is not lurking around every corner.” So, the more practice you give yourself into being content, happy, the less problems you create for yourself because you are not walking down that road and that is not a camouflage system. That is something that you do to eliminate the grass cloth covering the hole in the ground. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Okay, but it doesn’t mean that what was the precipitous for the unhappiness goes away.
Seth… Of course not. You can’t change her play…
Stephanie… Right so you are just not focusing.
Seth… You don’t become embroiled in it, you let it go.
Frank… You focus on it in a different way.
Stephanie… No, you are not focusing on it at all.
Seth… You are focusing on it but in a positive manner,
Isabella… Can I ask a question? Or do you want to wait for break?
Seth… No, I will pause us now and have the man through whom I speak, pick this up and turn the tape over and then you may ask your question. Is that suitable for you?
Isabella… I can wait for break.
Seth… No, this is perfectly suitable.
Isabella… I just feel… I don’t know what I am feeling. I am feeling a little lost in the forest. No, I’m not, I’m not feeling lost in the forest. I’m just feeling… off and…
Seth… If you are not at center point something is dragging you to the side and therefore you are not at your greatest point of power. What should you do to bring yourself back into focus?
Isabella… Realize what it is.
Seth… Sometimes it may not become apparent for a while.
Isabella… That’s unacceptable.
Seth… No, it is perfectly acceptable. Do you have to deal with something that you are not aware of?
Isabella… No but I don’t like being off.
Seth… I’m not saying that you do. I’m saying that since you do not or cannot put a finger on it.
Isabella… So, my question is this: so, my camouflage system that I set up is to cover up this fear of being alone, obviously.
Seth… One of them, yes.
Isabella… So, and the fact of needing to be taken care of. So…
Seth… It’s all part of the same thing, you do realize that?
Isabella… Yes, and I understand that about myself now, obviously more than I ever have because it’s just comes to the forefront but my question is, why do I attract those kind of men that are so…
Seth… Needy.
Isabella… Yeah, the men are needy! Every single one is needy. Why? Every single one.
Seth… Because what… Need has two faces, someone else needs you…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… they become dependent upon you so that you are not alone.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Yet that becomes wearisome.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So therefore, you become needy, and you depend upon them to take care of you…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… because this is what you believe is a woman’s role and how you are defining yourself here in terms of roles men to women. Women are taken care of by men.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… If they are taken care of by men therefore, they must be needy because a woman can define herself by whether or not she has a man in her existence instead of (being) dependent upon herself.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… So therefore, the need works in both directions.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… When you decide and one of the reasons why I have stated to you that learning to live in a community will make you far stronger than living alone.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… When you decide not to be needy you will attract a different class of individuals because that idea is finished. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t depend upon someone for something whatever that thing is.
Isabella… So, what’s the difference because I feel…
Seth… For example, let me give you an example. If for example you were in a relationship whether married, not married it does not matter but that person for example needed for you to pick up their dry-cleaning, that’s not being needy.
Isabella… I understand that.
Seth… Becoming needy is having them do all the housework, becoming needy is having them do all the cooking.
Isabella… I get that.
Seth… It is learning to share without feeling displaced by the sharer.
Isabella… I understand that I have gained from living in the community. I understand that. My question is and I understand that aspect of it and I am just using the Peter situation because it is at the forefront. With him, okay, obviously he is needy; there is no doubt about that even though he will deny that, completely. So, his neediness is then attracting my neediness?
Seth… No, his neediness attracts your needing to care for. Remember there is a spectrum.
Isabella… Yet, in a way I’m still looking for him to care for me too.
Seth… Of course, the more you do for him the more you want him to do for you.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And the more he would do for you the less you would have to do for him.
Isabella… Right, but even though he’ll say flat out that he can’t be in a relationship and all this kind of stuff or whatever.
Seth… It’s for your camouflage system that you create; I know I can make him need me. The more I do for him I know he will need me.
Isabella… Okay, but he acts like he needs me in the sense of…
Seth… That is his response. The fact that he is a needy individual, but he will deny that; that’s his camouflage system. (Here we see how camouflage systems can link from one individual to another. FN)
Isabella… Right, he will deny up and down but yet he’ll still want me as the best friend and call me all the time.
Seth… And he will introduce you to his friends, to his family, to his workers.
Isabella… But it is confusing for me.
Seth… It is not confusing to you if you will look at it with a different set of eyes.
Isabella… So how should I look at it with a different set of eyes because I’m looking at it as this idea that…
Seth… Let me ask you the simplest question I can.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… What do you give him?
Isabella… What do I give him?
Seth… Yes, what do you give him?
Isabella… I give him a… reality check! I think I give him a way, a perspective to look at himself unlike anybody…
Seth… Oh, that’s need; you’re fulfilling his need to look at him correctly?
Isabella… Of course, I am, there is no doubt. I’m forcing him to look at himself.
Seth… How wearisome will that become soon?
Isabella… Quite wearisome, same thing with George.
Seth… Why do you continue it?
Isabella… Umm…
Seth… Why do you continue it? … Fear of being alone…
Isabella… (Crying) I know that!
Seth… and not being appreciated.
Isabella… (Crying) I understand that! I know exactly what it is!
Seth… Now you have a choice, do you change or not?
Isabella… So, do I abandon these people?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Like, that’s my question, like so what do I do? I understand he is in a pivotal time in his life, and I understand I can’t be with him romantically and it is inappropriate right now for us to be together and I get all that. So, what do I do? Do I walk away as a friend?
Seth… If you feel that you are giving more than you can receive and at this instance you probably are than you must cut away. If you feel that it is fifty-fifty…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… then it doesn’t matter what you do. If you feel that you are getting much more than you are giving, you better run away.
Isabella… Okay, well that’s definitely (Laughs) not…
Seth… No, do you understand why I make that statement?
Isabella… Yeah, because then I am being taken care of and that is my old pattern.
Seth… Correct. A proper relationship whether it be with a friend meaning male or female, younger or older should be approximately fifty percent, within a reasonable facsimile there of.
(Break. No time was given.)
Seth… Let us continue, are there any questions?
Isabella… Yeah, I have a question so how do you change? You talked about changing instantaneously and I am not saying that is the right move for me but if I wanted to do that because I am so sick…
Seth… Where is your greatest point of power?
Isabella… Right now. Right now.
Seth… On center.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You’re not being pulled to this idea or that idea, your greatest point of power is centerfold- now! And so, when you move yourself back to where your greatest point of power is and when you see instances like this that you have been describing you don’t go there, you observe it, simple.
Isabella… What do you mean by that?
Seth… For example, the individual who decides to stop smoking because they know it is bad for their health, they don’t like the way they smell, people who criticize them. Well, the greatest success rate they have is the individuals say I am not going to smoke and that is the end of it.
Isabella… Okay, so they cut themselves off cold turkey.
Seth… So, they bring themselves back to center, this is what I know, this is how I am going to do it and that’s ending it. That’s an instantaneous change.
Isabella… Okay, so saying to myself, I am finished with these needy people…
Seth… I will not deal with them; if they approach me, they’re gone.
Isabella… Which is kind of what I did with this guy last night… right? How is that any different?
Seth… I’m not saying it is different, but I am saying the idea is that when you make a break with an individual, you say this does not suit me and that is the end of it.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… Yeah, I have a question. When you use the term camouflage pattern to mean information or energy that goes from one system to another and how it translates into that system, how is that similar to this idea? Where is the connection, these are different concepts, you are just using different terms? (Actually, the same term for what Frank perceives as two different concepts.)
Seth… I am using as many different terms as I can to force you to think. (The important point is “to force you to think.”)
Frank… Okay, so the fact that I just even thought about that is enough?
Seth… Correct. Anything else?
Frank… It’s just confusing.
Seth… I am.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… Can you give an example of the examination of the happy feeling from the inside out?
Seth… When you determine happiness, you look at something that expresses joy that expresses a feeling of contentment. In other words, the idea of looking at a beautiful sunset fills one inside with the beauty of The All There Is and what he/she created. So that is looking from then inside out. Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with the following then, first to our friend Frank, you will type up the last two sessions, this one and last week’s.
Frank… Ah gee, I was only going to volunteer for this one. (Laughter.)
Seth… So, you now have two.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Change itself is the process of discovering your delusions, uncovering your camouflage systems so that your core perceptions become visible. You will then be able to fulfill your needs and let your wants disappear. Choose to discover happiness, examine it. Heal your own wounds that are old and tiresome. Change that which you dislike and let yourself become part of that which you desire.
A hardy good evening to all.
(Session ended at 10:01 P.M.)
Happy Memory Meditation
Before beginning the meditation, recall and choose a happy or pleasant memory. It could be as simple as an ice cream cone you enjoyed or a pleasurable childhood memory. Do not pick a memory that has complications for you. For example, you might not want to choose a memory of meeting a boyfriend when you have just broken up!
Find a comfortable sitting position, close your eyes, and observe your breath. Notice how this is relaxing and meditative in and of itself.
Now remember the happy memory and play it back to yourself like a movie. See the scenes, hear the sounds, even smell the smells if this fits. Bring this memory into the now and feel all the pleasant and happy feeling tones associated with it. Observe and enjoy this.
Now, step away from this for a moment by simply observing your breath.
Return to the pleasant feelings, re-generating them but without the memory.
Enjoy this for a while. What else comes up for you?
Seth… Good evening. Two bits of housekeeping that we shall delve into, first Kaetorina, I will deal with you and the man through whom I speak and change your number situation; as of this moment and I will deal and explain with it how I want you both to proceed, so you may deal with that.
Let us under our general heading of change, we are going to need a working definition for the idea of “delude” or “delusional” and therefore we shall move around the table, Betty?
Betty… Delusional would be to believe something that is not.
Seth… That is not. (To Isabella who grunted.) I didn’t say it is not right, it is just that she said believe something that is not. Go ahead, George, then pass it (microphone) around.
George… Delusional is not being in touch with reality.
Isabella… Delusional is when you believe something to be true that is not.
Arthur… Believing in something that is not factual.
Frank… Beliefs about things and events that are plainly not true.
Jasmine… Creations of your mind that have no basis in reality.
Stephanie… Everyone pretty much said it. Not dealing with the facts that are presented.
Seth… While you are giving some reasonable definitions, I would like you all to ponder if you will, the idea that to delude is to move a frame of reference from that which is true to that which is false. It is a change in a belief system that one must deal with. It is a common practice that individuals who reside on the physical plane choose to indulge themselves in so that they do not have to deal with, understand or make changes in their own existence.
It is factual that many individuals, when faced with a series of facts that they choose to ignore, delude themselves into believing that the truth is actually fiction. How often does a battered wife state that it is my fault that my husband or boyfriend did this to me? It is far easier for most individuals to refuse to change than it is to accept that which is false and believe it is true. The male who does not see or understand that his “chosen female” does not want his affections; in severe cases the male becomes the stalker. Obviously, this can happen in reverse as well. The delusions that individuals make only serve to promote the status quo. The camouflage systems that one builds for themselves clearly demonstrate the length to which individuals will go to maintain their erroneous belief systems. The female who cannot or will not accept rejection places herself at the mercy of a male who is controlling and often devastating to the psyche of the female. Questions such as, “Why did he not call? How come he doesn’t love me? What should I do to attract him?” are clear indications of delusional “wanting” behavior.
Isabella… How is it delusional?
Seth… We will handle that in a little while.
When an individual indulges themselves in this type of behavior there is no outlet for the reality that is factual. Individuals lie to themselves by insisting that if they work harder, look better, they will be able to attain their goals.
Each of you comes into the physical plane with a set of values. The challenges that you have created for self are there for you to experience in any number of ways. When one has difficulty, one often will say a prayer to whatever deity you choose. Yet prayer itself is a request for. Often the request for have negative values such as “Please do not let this happen to me.” “Help my family.” In reality here, you are creating want. It should be noted that I am not stating that prayer is wrong or not helpful when it is used in a positive manner. One cannot fool or delude the universe, be careful as the old adage goes what you wish for, because you may indeed get it. Meditation on the other hand is not a wish for something, it is a doing procedure. You may meditate on how to get stronger, how to increase your prosperity, how to make yourself a more viable person. This is one of the reasons why I suggest that each of you learn to meditate on a day-to-day basis. It might be interesting to note… (Stephanie sneezed people said, “Bless you.”) Interesting. It might be interesting to note how many of you believe that you routinely delude yourself into maintaining or praying for that which you hope for or need to achieve. (Frank asked to repeat dictation and the group helped out.) That which you hope or need to achieve.
Frank… Could you say that in another way?
Seth… Well, let’s ask you a question. Have you ever hoped for something, Frank?
Frank… Sure
Seth… Did you ever say, “Please I really need this.”?
Frank… Yeah, I imagine.
Seth… What are you really asking for?
Frank… Want.
Seth… And what do you get? Want.
Frank… That’s it?
Seth… But in a much larger sense, it is not just, “wanting”. You must read and re-read this idea in and of itself.
It is far too easy to fool oneself than it is to be true with oneself and the reasons are obvious. If you are true to oneself, one does not delude themselves, one faces and accepts that which is as compared to that which is to that which maintains the status quo. You may see this in individuals who become complacent, they do not challenge themselves. They refuse to accept any change; they will tell you that they hope for the best. So, the question arises, how many of you have said I can only hope for the best? That is one expression that one must learn to forget. How many individuals do not… should I wait Isabella?
Isabella… No, go ahead I am listening.
Seth… You are also not paying attention as well as you should.
Isabella… I’m paying attention… how many individuals…
Seth… do not take responsibility for their own actions? Now: this leads to the fact that the consequences of their inaction must then be fostered upon someone else. Individuals of this nature delude themselves by blaming others for their own inadequacies. These individuals make elaborate excuses for their failings and their inability to handle even the simplest ideas and challenges that the universe presents to them. Commonly their statements will be, “I just cannot. I cannot face that. That is beyond me.” The delusions become so great that they fail to recognize their own abilities! As points of reference go on, they come to believe that they cannot do something because they are weak and inferior. Routinely these individuals cry out for assistance even before attempting to help themselves. My question always is, if you cannot help yourself then who is responsible for you? If you feel you are not attracting individuals to you who are profitable, why blame the universe or them? Change is necessary because you do not find your situation tolerable. What have you done to lessen your own difficulties? Now in the middle of the next line and in large capital letters,
IF YOU DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY GIVEN SITUATION THEN WHO SHOULD?
Most individuals would rather foster the erroneous belief that someone else must take charge. The wife whose husband ends his incarnation and finds herself ill equipped will commonly for years after pine away for the loss of that individual. The businessman who once had a thriving business and now sees it declining rarely has kept pace with the needs of society. One must always remember that you function on the physical plane at the “mercy” of mass consciousness effects. It is difficult for most to accept the outcome of a massive storm, yet and I state with absolute certainty the most massive storms that you will ever encounter occur on a day-to-day basis. The small challenges that you push away one day grow to massive proportions. The refusal to take responsibility for self causes most to become a victim of themselves as well as others.
If each individual will take pride in their own accomplishments, their self-worth increases. It is not necessary to pine away for something that you do not have. You need to attract it as a powerful magnet attracts metal. If you are lonely, attract friendships, if you are poor attract that which you need to increase your wealth. Do I need to change my job? Go back to school? These are the questions of how to attract that which you require. A prayer promotes wanting in these instances. Meditation will give you the how to achieve that which you require.
Learn to tell yourself the truth and face that which you must. That dear students is perhaps the most difficult task of all, the truth. When you can accomplish this, you will find that you do not have to delude yourself into believing that which pulls one off center. Each of you has been given the ability to succeed. It is interesting to note how often one chooses to fail and repeat the same lessons over and over again. Look to yourself, strip away that which you must, and you will find that which you need.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(9:22 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue, are there any questions?
Isabella… I have a question. I want to know, the comment before about the rejection piece. You really didn’t give me an answer on that, about how feeling rejected is a delusion.
Seth… The question is when you believe that you have been rejected is it something that is positive or negative? Very commonly when something doesn’t go your way, or you didn’t get the job or what is good is an old expression that you may deal with there. The question truthfully is was it a positive or negative event?
Isabella… I guess, what if you view it, what if you do not know how to view it, what if you do not know if it was positive or negative?
Seth… That is why you meditate. When you want something, you must automatically know that it is not profitable. “I want this. I want to win the lottery. I want the husband. I want the girlfriend.” All these types of situations are not profitable. Do you understand? I believe if you read and reread this and certainly in terms of a housekeeping procedure you know you still have a session to do. Ah, worried about this one too? (Stephanie laughs.) We will debate on that latter.
Isabella… Which one do I have to type?
Seth… You will find, just reread your notes. It will be in your notes.
(To Stephanie.) Also, the one you were not here for you are now approximately one third of the way through the month of May.
Stephanie… Uh huh.
Seth… You have till June first. Do not go to June second.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Anything else?
Frank… Earlier on in the session you mentioned about the values we are born with, just quickly what does that mean?
Seth… Each of you comes into this physical plane with a certain set of ideas, things you would like to accomplish, what values you will need, what you will take with as you proceed along your journey. Do not look at values in terms of right and wrong which is what you tend to do but values such as, will I need strength to accomplish this task? Will I have to become more moral to accomplish that task? Is it necessary for me to become more spiritual to accomplish that? These are values that you have incorporated into yourself long before you have incarnated.
Frank… Similar to characteristics?
Seth… No, characteristics are a body type, color of eyes, strength, physical strength.
Frank… Not psychological character that’s more, that’s a value?
Seth… That’s a value system.
Frank… Sort of like the clothes you are picking out or the tools you are picking out to use.
Seth… How ever you would like to define the clothes or the tools that would be equally as fine depending upon how you would choose to use the idea.
Frank… Right.
Seth… One other little bit of information in terms of your patient I believe tonight’s lecture will…
Frank… So, I don’t need to ask, and I should do my work on that and if I have questions I’ll come back after I have done the work.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Okay, good that helps with that question. The shorthand is great. (Meaning that Seth answered Frank’s question before he asked it.)
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: It is easy to delude yourself, to make compromises, to attempt to justify that which is not in terms of that which is. Each of you must take responsibility for yourself and in doing so you will find that you will be able to strip your delusions away and accomplish that which benefits you the most. And when this occurs the wants lessen, and your needs will be fulfilled. A hardy good evening to all.
Three Things That Can Destroy an Incarnation: Anger, Pride and Unforgivingness
Tuesday April 22, 2008
8:30 PM
(It should be noted that this is Stephanie’s first missed session ever. Jerry)
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here this evening. We shall do a small bit of housekeeping here and I would like what I say taken down exactly. You are to tell Kaetorina the following: that she is required to type this session, she may not receive help from the man through whom I speak. She may not ask him to type one word, paragraph, sentence, syllable, or letter. Now since the next meeting will not be for a week or so we shall be magnanimous, write that down please. We shall give her till June 1st to type this session and you may then tell her after she makes a face and utters a few expletives, she’s lucky I didn’t make it the twenty third of May. Do you all have that down?
Frank… Yup.
Seth… And therefore, whenever each of you speak to her you are to relay that statement. I want it impressed upon her as strongly as possible.
Isabella… When everyone of us talks to her?
Seth… Yes, you only have to say it once for I believe that that will be enough impetus for her to not be as lazy as she can be.
Isabella… Is her birthday May 23rd?
Seth… No, her birthday, give us a moment, is on May 16th. That being stated, let us go on. Under our major subject of Change (Krypto let out a major barking howl.) I would like to give you all three ideas that most individuals deal with. These three things can actually destroy a soul’s incarnation. The first one is anger, the second one is pride, and the third one is unforgivingness. I’m going to start with the first one, anger.
Isabella… Did you say those three things can end one’s incarnation?
Seth… Destroy
Isabella… Doesn’t that mean end?
Frank… No, it means it’s ruined the life, the experience of a lifetime.
Jasmine… Right, right.
Seth… There is a common verbiage expression that is popular at this point of reference which states, I just lost it! Anger itself, as I have previously stated, is a strong emotion. It always has a sense and a purpose to it. You can be angry at a person, an event, a thing. While these are normal ideas, when anger takes over the sense of self becomes so magnified that the clarity and purpose of the self is abandoned on the justification that I am being harmed. Anger at times makes no sense. An example of this may be seen in ideas such as road rage, religious intolerance and the list of course could go on. Again, I repeat myself, a normal, and at times a very profitable emotion, feeling if you will. But far too often especially at this point of reference, anger at… overtakes and literally consumes the individual. It is at times as if the soul and individual are swallowed up and actually lost to themselves.
Change at that point of reference becomes impossible. You are set on a path that prevents you from challenging your own feelings, thoughts, and ideas on any particular subject. If one cannot challenge themselves, it is then obvious that you are incapable of creating and then formulating a correct path of action. As an aside here, one must note that a large majority of violent crimes are due to what I have just described.
Pride is that which you see in self that should give you a sense of accomplishment. When pride overtakes one and you know you are correct, but you cannot and then will not accept another’s criticism or point of view. It follows from there that since you are correct and so sure of yourself that others must be wrong! The pride that one invests in self should be helpful, however, when it prevents a soul from even listening to a contrary point of view that soul becomes dangerous to self as well as others. It follows then that anger moves in harmony with pride. One cannot have one without the other. Again, it follows that change is impossible when one is so self-sure that they must be correct. No room is left for even compromise in situations like this. Many of your situation comedies deal with pride and these issues. The old expression is quite true, “Pride goeth before the fall.” If you cannot see and cannot hear then I ask each individual the following: How can you create? And the answer truly is that you create disaster! You cannot succeed when you leave no room for even yourself to question that which is. It should be noted here that violence again is quite commonplace in individuals who place pride above everything else. A clear example of this is seen in male individuals who beat their wives. They must always be correct, they clearly state, “you made me do this.”
Isabella… That’s a pride thing?
Seth… They blame the other for their failings. Quite commonly they take over and attempt to control that which surrounds them. They can do something better than the other. Yet when called to task, they state, “you are the one who did not give me a chance. You are the one who held me back, it is your fault.” Individuals must learn that even when they are correct, they must be open enough to listen and understand the others around them.
The person who is unforgiving denies the basic tenant of spirituality, that is of course forgiveness and understanding. If someone has done something to you that is harmful or bothersome and you choose not to relent your emotions, then of course you are preventing change. How many times in each of you, your own experiences have brought you to the point where you have thought or possibly even said, I will never forgive that person for what they have done! And let us assume for a moment that you truly never forgive that person, where are you, where is your creativity? You are then mired down, stuck if you will with anger, hatred about someone or something. It is truly a cancer (In physical plane terms.) that you have. It will literally consume your day-to-day existence. Revenge here is a manifestation of not being able to forgive. You plan how to harm or victimize the other. Your anger knows no bounds. It is interesting to note that studies have been done with individuals who have suffered at the hands of another. One set of criminals were brought into face the relatives of the person that they killed and in a series of meetings the anger and hatred from the victims became tempered. The rage and loathing of the perpetrator lessened, and finally heartfelt apologies were given.
There was healing on both sides. Change there was made possible by allowing forgiveness. Understanding came to the forefront. It replaced anger. The pride that the perpetrators had dissipated, they became more human and they themselves were different. These three types of feelings or emotions, if left to themselves can and do destroy an incarnation. So, the question arises, what to do? First thing that is necessary to do is to call upon friends, describe that which hurts, explain your anger. Use the friend as a sounding board so that your creations can resonate within a neutral party. Does the friend agree or disagree with your point of view? If they agree then how can you moderate the anger, the hatred, the discomfort you are having? If they disagree it is necessary to understand why and I fall back upon an old statement that now comes into play, PERHAPS I AM WRONG. Perhaps I do not understand. These are the questions that you must learn to ask, first of self and then to a friend. Remember you are opening the wound and cleaning out the infection of anger. If you do not do this, then your pride is preventing you from acting. A surgeon will always lance an infected area, they cut away what no longer serves a useful purpose and in doing so your friend will cut away that which infects you.
One must always in these situations make time so that you can reflect upon events. When one acts rashly how often are you incorrect? Is it possible that you did not see correctly, that you did not hear? Is it not then true that you cannot create that which you do not fully understand? This means that if you only have partial information how correct can you be in that which you create? It is to put it simply, if you only hear one side of a conversation how accurate can you be to understand and comprehend the full conversation as if you’ve heard both sides? Do you understand? Since you cannot create adequately, you must pause and allow yourself the luxury of gathering information so that you may understand that which has gone on. Once you have obtained more information either by research or by contemplation and meditation on the event, you will then be in a better position to make judgments that will lead you to a more profitable course of action. The old statement here again is true, “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” How often has each of you made a decision in haste that proves to be a disaster? This type of decision making, the snap judgment is often done because the individual is either angry or unforgiving of another person or event. They are so sure that they are correct that thought is unnecessary. If you do not think of something, how profitable can it be?
What profit is there in adapting a course of action that has no profitable end? A clear indication at this point of reference may be seen in the recent war in the Middle East. What is the ending going to be and was there thought on the matter before starting?
Lastly, one must be able to accept self! If you cannot and will not accept the idea that you as an individual are capable of errors, then of course change may never occur. Acceptance of self with all your faults is mandatory in all that you do. Why did you get angry? What set you off? How may you profit by continuing to do the same thing over and over again? Most individuals believe that they accept themselves, this is just the way I do things is a battle cry of the incompetent. If you are so sure of yourself then why do others disagree? Each individual must come to the realization that they are not alone and that they require assistance from others. One may look at the assistance of others as nourishment it is the “food” that you require to give sustenance to your existence. One must learn to accept the idea that of course you are what you create, however, the mistaken notion here is that you are all important. The true master knows that he is equal to his students. He only has a bit of knowledge that he endeavors to share with others. He accepts himself as a teacher that will help guide his students on a better path. He allows his students to roam free with their thoughts and their creations. Even when they make errors in judgments, he is there to pick them up when they fall. He accepts the idea that they must and should challenge him and his ideas. She knows that when her students succeeds, he is to be praised. She knows that even she can make an error and accepts this idea. She encourages change with pride knowing full well that someday each of her students will be a teacher. Anger, pride, unforgivingness are destroyers of all that you hope to do. You cannot succeed unless you challenge yourself, accept what you are, call upon your friends and give time for reflection. I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue. I have listened in, and I understand that most of your aching little fingers have not quite recuperated therefore we shall continue on with some of this next week and certainly our subject of change, therefore are there any questions?
Frank… I do have questions.
Seth… Go ahead, feel free (Said humorously, Frank laughing as Stephanie has to type this session.)
Isabella… Ask away!!!
Frank… I actually had already had a question about a couple that I work with because of last week’s session and the harsh rules but it seems to me that this session that all three of these things play for this couple.
Seth… Is it not true and you’ve been here long enough to note that every idea is a platform where other ideas build upon that which you have already learned?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Now, if you take this thought as it is as a “therapist” you then come to the conclusion that in dealing with any patient or set of patients for that matter, they can only proceed along on a path that builds upon a foundation where you have previously worked and studied with them. You cannot start with tonight without the week before, which is not as good as starting two weeks before. That is why when you become mired down and over analyze things you tend to lose a sense of focus here and therefore if you regain your focus by allowing things to flow in a correct manner and this goes for all of you as well then of course you are in a far better position to understand and thereby help and guide others. Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah, that covers the question.
Isabella… I have a question.
Seth… Make it a nice long one.
Isabella… No, but (Said very drawn out and methodical to be funny so Stephanie could understand.) I will talk very slowly so she can type adequately (Frank laughing.). No, these three emotions, anger, pride and unforgiveness seem very prevalent throughout my divorce obviously and …
Seth… On who’s side?
Isabella… I guess on my side.
Seth… Close…
Isabella… What the hell does he have to be angry for?
Seth… Do you think his actions just came out of nowhere?
Isabella… No. Actually, yeah, I do. I do feel like his actions came out of nowhere.
Seth… His actions did not come out of nowhere. That is obviously a falsehood.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And so, if you were to look back and when I described a number of things in this session you will be aware that someone who blamed others for not letting them grow, not letting them do things, not, not, not, not. Is in reality reacting to themselves therefore they blame the other. Since they must be right you must be wrong. Go ahead.
Isabella… So, in the case, the anger piece I can let go, pride, obviously I can understand why this is not about me. The unforgiveness, how do you let that go? How do you forgive eventually when somebody has really hurt you and traumatized you?
Seth… First of all, what are you forgiving? You see, that is the question in and of itself.
Isabella… A lot of things.
Seth… What are you forgiving here? Are you forgiving what he did and how he did it or are you forgiving the individual for being a weak foolish person who in reality, yes did hurt you, but now there’s the but here, but he had little knowledge of himself, could not master himself, had no “pride” and I use that word there in quotes, in self. Therefore, was totally unable to create a profitable situation for himself. Do you understand now? You can forgive him for that.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But you can’t allow yourself to be trampled on or victimized by forgiving him for everything because that makes no sense.
Isabella… Correct.
Seth… Forgiveness is in what the person is.
Isabella… Oh, okay That makes it much clearer.
Seth… You understand.
Isabella… Yeah, I can forgive him for being weak and idiotic and whatever else that I can forgive cause then in that circumstance I know it isn’t about me.
Seth… It’s as if somebody would go ahead and stab you or shoot you, well you’re not going to forgive him for the shooting or stabbing of you, you could forgive them for their actions and thoughts and feelings that led up to that.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You understand the difference now?
Isabella… Yes, I do.
Seth… Anything else there?
Isabella… No.
Frank… Sorry kiddo! (Referring to asking more questions.) I already have this question but as a follow-up to the idea of teaching. How is it that you decide when to put one concept with another like last week, the idea of being judgmental and on the other hand making someone feel special so they can make a difference? How does that come together for a teacher?
Seth… A teacher teaches by listening to their students. I teach you nothing until you are ready to absorb it. For me it is quite simple, I research this in a way of course you do not have the ability to do so but yet I listen carefully. I listen with ears that do not hear in a far greater extent than you do. When you are dealing with a friend, a neighbor, a patient, a relative, anyone, one must hear with eyes that do not see, their body language, their expressions, their facial characteristics, what they say, their intonation of their voice, their ideas that they present in what they consider a logical manner all give clues as to what concept you can bring to the forefront. It is not just a piece meal, “I’m going to stick this in now” situation. It is a gestalt, a blending together of that which you have previously presented and that which you hope that they can incorporate into themselves. One must always remember that is takes a great deal of effort upon the other to think about, to review, to contemplate and to remold if you will that which you are presenting into a form that that person can adequately use. Therefore, there is no….
Frank… the other being the teacher.
Seth… No, the students.
Frank… The other being the students taking it in?
Seth… Taking it in. Therefore, there is no magical formula here that you should even attempt to look at in terms of how one then proceeds and in what concept one places as the next important event. You may determine that after a while a patient was having difficulty in their life may need the idea of looking at a happy or prosperous past event to give them the feeling of joy and happiness just as well as somewhere along the line you are going to say, “you know that you are being so judgmental towards self that you cannot see”. Which one comes first? The answer is the student will let you know. You cannot have a formula for every individual for that would be foolhardy. Is there anything else?
Frank… In terms of last week’s session and the idea of being judgmental it reminded me of the concept of superego and superego as its own agency which is a belief commonly held. Is, I also thought about the concept of natural guilt, is that true that the superego is its own thing?
Seth… Let me stop. You have a conscious mind. It is common here to try to divide that conscious mind into various categories, the unconscious mind, the ego, etc. etc. etc. The ego is just a manifestation of looking at the outside world, yet if your conscious mind is closed off to your inner self then the ego itself can only focus in one direction. It is “made to focus on the outside world” but it still must take information that you give it from your inner self. When individuals and your “therapists and psychologists” give themselves the luxury of saying your unconscious mind, there is no unconsciousness! There is no grander or lesser! You’re all breaking down the parts of the whole so that you may describe that which you believe to be true. Do you understand?
Frank… Hmm.
Seth… Therefore, one must then reopen the channels between the conscious mind inwardly and the conscious mind outwardly. There must be a balance for if you tell yourself that you cannot deal with the internal structures because they are not real, then of course you place into semi-oblivion the idea of thoughts and feelings that you are stacking over here which all of a sudden will come up at later events but yet unlooked at, undiscovered, un-thought about in the present. Do you understand?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… I believe that should help you…
Frank… The answer is no. (Meaning the question of the Super Ego being somehow separate.)
Seth… It’s not a question of no, it’s more of a question of how you describe something.
Frank… Like a function of something.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Okay. I’m finally, um.. can you give me some assistance with my son Zachary who seems to be involved, who’s always in the wrong place at the wrong time and is there something I can do?
Seth… Yes, he does not appreciate that which he does or participates in or views, he is very narrow minded in this instance. He only looks to the immediate gratification of, not the consequences of. When he blends those two, he becomes an adult. You understand?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… I would appreciate any sort of help or input. I am once again struggling with the idea of getting an opportunity to do something and questioning whether or not I really have the commitment to do it.
Seth… The commitment to do something is a dream. A dream is that which you attempt to make reality. When one closes themselves off to their dreams, one robs themselves in a futuristic sense of creating that which you truly desire. I would strongly suggest, have you ever read the book, “The Alchemist”?
George… Yes.
Seth… If you read it and understood it, you would not ask the question. Re-read it. Do you understand?
George… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions? Then let me leave you with this. Anger, pride, unforgivingness only magnify your wants. They diminish you. They curb your appetite for true progress. They fill you up with hatred; first toward self, then others. The hatred itself prevents change. You cannot succeed when you don’t enjoy yourself. Take time out. Reflect upon the problem. Ask a friend. Challenge yourself so that you as an individual can prosper and when you do your needs will be fulfilled. Kaetorina, I hope you enjoyed typing this session. A pleasant evening to all.
On Believing You Are Special And Can Make A Difference And Judging Yourself And Others With Equality
Tuesday April 15, 2008
8:30 p.m.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here. Let us go into the idea on our topic of Change. A little bit of information here, Jasmine sent out an electronic mail that basically depicted a story that a teacher called up each student in turn and explained to them why they were special and made a difference. They then were each given a number of tags that said, “I’m special, I make a difference” and she passed them out and kept track of what was going on. The interesting point of the story here is that most individuals never feel or appreciate the fact that first they are unique and second whatever they do or do not do does make a difference.
Our friend Frank as well as most therapists has innumerable stories where people did not know or understand the fact that what they do matters. Teachers in whatever teaching position they are in rarely have the long-range concept of what a difference they should and often do make with their students. Change itself for most, as previously stated, is far from easy and one must always look to what a difference you have made towards someone else, and this is often omitted or forgotten especially when you are in an adversarial position with another. It is far too easy for individuals to get angry and with anger comes a loss of the conscious mind as well as the loss of reason. You cannot force another to do your bidding. How often do parents make a suggestion to children that they totally ignore? It is these difficult positions that one finds themselves in that you forget that you can and do make a difference.
Which is more profitable, having someone to succumb to your way of thinking or to open a discussion so that both sides of an issue may be explored? The idea here, commonly is the fact that I must win. It is not ever a question of winning; it is a question of perception and understanding. No matter how you delve into any situation change never occurs when you try to force an issue when you do not make it profitable for the other.
On a grand scale a political situation that you would call Communism inflicted damage onto millions of individuals. The state had rights the individual had few or none. So where is the profit of working hard? For most who inhabit the physical plane are average and as hard as one works, they never feel special. They do not believe that they can make a difference and this statement is factual from the grand scale which I have just described to two individuals having a difference of opinion, individuals can be a husband and wife, two friends for it matters not.
If you believe that you are special and can make a difference, then it is your destiny to make sure that others feel the same way about themselves. You must be the one who challenges and promotes their change. This is what all great teachers do! What talents does another have that are not being used? How can you help them create and become that which they see in their dreams? That is how someone becomes special to themselves when their dreams become their reality.
Commonly we tend to judge others by our own individual standards. It is interesting to note that we rarely judge ourselves by those same harsh standards. As an exercise one must look internally and write down all your “supposed weaknesses” and when you each have a list of twenty or thirty weaknesses and you all do, pick the top five and ask yourself the following what have I done to lessen and improve these weaknesses? And if you are honest with yourself, you will find that you have done little.
Unfortunately, most individuals believe that they have done a great deal to make change. This is obviously a camouflage system that individuals create to delude themselves so that in reality they can tolerate that which they are. The judgment of others is far easier than for self. Therapists, when they choose to view individuals correctly, will often see that the accusations that one patient makes towards others clearly demonstrates the same gross inadequacies within self. How does the self tolerate this? The self usually blames someone else, for it is far too painful to judge what you are as compared to what the other is.
How do you make a difference here when you judge so critically? Individuals make errors in judgment, their perceptions are inadequate, their thought processes are faulty, yet people cast themselves in the superior role. “Why should I? That person doesn’t appreciate,” is the common cry of many individuals. Don’t you see what you are doing? Look how you hurt the other. There is an old expression that is written down in one of your religious books that clearly states, “He who is without sin and guilt let them cast the first stone.”
How often have you cast the first stone? Looked for an argument, pointed a finger, been intolerant because you ‘knew,” knew that you were right. Did you make a difference there? Were you proud of yourself? Were you the judge and jury and in reality, the executioner? All these make a difference. “Do not judge least ye be judge,” is another statement. Did you show compassion when someone made an error even if that error was a difficult one for you to accept or acknowledge.
Most individuals grow up with “loving parents and relatives” and you were taught at a very young age, and it is required of you to please other individuals and if you do not, love is withdrawn, punishments given. The judgments that are made influence that which you are. How can you please someone without first pleasing yourself? Repeat that statement. How can you please someone else without first pleasing yourself? If you decide to “give” things away, you are then in a position to make yourself a victim of anyone and everything. One must take stock and determine that which promotes you without causing another to fall short.
How often do you have an argument when you insist that the other does not or cannot attain your standards of excellence? A simple example here, Shanna who has taken some time off from this table came to the conclusion that she desired to come back, the reasons of course matter not. Do I sit and judge her and say look at what you missed? The lessons that you did not have, the learning that should have been yours or do I try to please her and to say that you make a difference here, your presence is a blessing and that we congratulate you for the bravery you have shown by coming back. When she understands that she does make a difference to all those who sit here, to a reader of this material because of the questions she asks, then she promotes herself and we must encourage her and not judge her.
I believe it is far too easy, too tempting to be critical. It is far harder to encourage someone even when they are failing or make mistakes, to encourage them to try again, to foster a relationship that benefits both, that helps each individual to become better than what they were a moment before. That is how you make a difference. That is why Jasmine’s electronic mail was important.
Each individual may take away that which they choose to believe is important from any discussion. It is your responsibility to understand their plight. You promote them by promoting yourself. Judge yourself before you judge another. Use the same critical criteria that you have for another on yourself. It should be noted here that I am not stating that one should never find fault with someone else. That is foolishness and it is also not possible. Individuals do and should be allowed to make errors in judgment, their actions cannot ever be perfect. And when you come to the conclusion that someone is incorrect and does need your assistance, offer that assistance but don’t judge, don’t be critical. Be the kind friend, the helpful one who goes out of the way to promote change within another as well as self. You cannot obtain peace for yourself without sharing it with others.
One may not like or understand another’s motivation when they disagree with what another attempts to do and this is perfectly acceptable. This is something that is normal, I encourage it, but ask yourself the following if proper change is to take place who appointed me as the judge and jury. Make a difference, know that you as well as the other is vastly important, and your life’s actions will be far easier. Judge yourself before you judge another, please yourself before you please another and your existence will be much more profitable.
I believe at this point we will take a break.
(Break at 9:08)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions?
Frank… Could you just explain further the aspect of how we may judge self harshly but judge first others harshly, that whole, could you just go over that again?
Seth… It is far easier, oh and by the way here we are going to judge you now. You have till May 7th to type this session. It will certainly help you. You can smile at that.
Now other than that being stated, when you judge others… (Krypto, Isabella’s dog who has spent many sessions by or under the table moaned. She is very energy sensitive and over the years has reacted to sessions acutely but tolerates this well now. Upon moaning Frank said, “Right” and the group laughed…) you do not judge fairly. You have a great tendency to give a set of standards of what you believe is correct or incorrect towards others.
Jasmine… Now this is what everybody does?
Seth… Correct. (Seth was tapping Stephanie’s notebook.) You need this.
Jasmine… You have a tendency to give standards…
Seth… You set a set of standards that you judge others by that are quite difficult, harsh if you will. Now…
Jasmine… Go slower please.
Seth… Tell me when you are ready. Those harsh set of standards most people believe are not as harsh as what they use to judge themselves; for the most part that is untrue. Now let me explain…
Jasmine… What you just said is not true? You made it sound like what you were telling us was true, now you’re saying it is not true?
Seth… No, I said most people create a set of standards that they believe are fair to others, but they are very harsh. Most individuals then believe how they judge themselves is harsher than how they judge others. That portion of that statement is not true, meaning you do not judge yourself, most people do not, more harshly than you judge others. You judge others with a very, very small and strict interpretation of “the law”, as set down by you.
What don’t you have, Jasmine?
Jasmine… I just thought and read when judging others, you don’t judge fairly. The tendency is to give standards that you judge others by that are harsh. Those harsh standards most people believe are as harsh as what they do to judge themselves…
Seth… No, most people believe that the standards that they use to judge themselves are harsher.
Jasmine… Those harsh standards most people believe are?
Seth… Harsher to judge self than they use to judge others. In other words, your standards are more difficult for yourself then they are for another.
Jasmine… They believe they are harsher? (Jasmine continued to work from notes.)
Seth… Towards self then they are towards another. In other words, how you would judge, for example, do you have a set of standards that you look at Isabella and judge her by? And you believe you would judge yourself in a much more critical manner. Do you understand that so far?
Jasmine… I judge her with a certain set of standards, but I think I would judge myself even harder?
Seth… Even harder, that is what that first part of that statement means. In reality you judge Isabella far harsher than you ever judge yourself. You are more critical of her than you are of you.
Jasmine… It seems as if this is the same thing said three times, because the last thing I wrote, you said, “you don’t judge others more harshly than you do yourself.”
Isabella… No, you missed that.
Seth… You missed that.
Stephanie… No, no… (Stephanie re-read a portion from notes.)
Jasmine… So, you judge others harsher, more harsher.
Seth… Correct. Did that help you, Frank?
Frank… Yeah. I think I am fairly harsh with self.
Seth… You’re harsh with self…
Betty… Isn’t it a question of quality versus quantity?
Seth… Repeat that Betty, please so that everybody can hear.
Betty… I said and it is my understanding, and it is almost a question of quality verses quantity. I may judge myself, let’s say mildly harsh but a lot of the time. I may let myself off the hook a little bit more easily than I would judge someone else, however the judgment itself towards another is more harsh.
Seth… Fair enough statement. You, Frank, judge yourself under a narrow set of guidelines as well as everyone else does. Now because you are judging yourself under a very narrow set of guidelines you don’t use those narrow guidelines to look and judge others you use a very broad set of guidelines therefore you must be harsher with others than you are with yourself. You understand?
Frank… What do you mean by narrow? Like give me of example of narrow guidelines.
Seth… Your narrow guidelines would include the fact that you overanalyze things. It’s a very narrow point of view but the reasons why you do it and how you do it and where you do things, you apply to other people who are having similar difficulties.
Frank… That’s broader?
Seth… Much broader.
Frank… So that’s tougher on them?
Seth… Of course, it is tougher on them. Because when you limit that which you see…
Frank… I see a lot more with them.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… And I block myself from seeing (me).
Seth… Correct
Frank… So, I don’t take in what’s going on to judge.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… (Laughing) I want to ask…I am trying to spare Frank.
Frank… Ah, go for it.
Isabella… I’m having a hard time obviously with what we discussed last night.
Seth… Correct. I could have told you he wouldn’t show up tonight but…
Isabella… Who George?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Oh, that’s very funny.
Seth… That would have been a futuristic answer so I wouldn’t do that.
Isabella… That’s alright but thank you for seeing me last night. And in regards to this jealous piece that I am feeling, I’d like some insight into how I can curtail that and really not go there because you have said to me, you don’t have loyalty, we discussed that yesterday. And so again something happened today, and I am feeling this whole jealous side, and I don’t really want to feel that way.
Seth… Are you not judging what he is doing?
Isabella… I’m absolutely judging what he is doing.
Seth… Are you not doing the same thing?
Isabella… I am absolutely doing the same thing.
Seth… Please explain to me what your definition of jealously is.
Isabella… I’ll tell you exactly what it is; I don’t want him to like somebody more than he likes me.
Seth… No, no, that is a specific. Do you see how when you judge you become very narrow minded, “I don’t want him to,” yet when you apply it to others it widens out.
What is jealousy?
Isabella… Jealousy is a feeling of… How do you define jealousy?
Seth… Okay, I will put a pause here, go upstairs, get a dictionary and come downstairs with the book. We shall wait.
As an aside, one of the more difficult things about language is the fact that most individuals use words but have no concept as to what they really mean. That is why language is the poorest form of communication. Individuals are far more adept at reading body signals, facial expressions than they are in using words.
We now are looking up with the word jealousy… it starts with a J by the way.
Isabella… I know! J, E, oh there we are.
Seth… Read it out loud please.
Isabella… Quality or condition of being jealous. Would you like me to read jealous?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Very watchful or careful in guarding or keeping, resentful, suspicious of a rival or rivaled influence a.k.a. husband jealous of other men, resentful, envious, requiring exclusive loyalty.
Seth… Do you not see?
Isabella… But I have absolutely no right to that.
Seth… Now you have an answer, what is your answer?
Isabella… That I have no right to be jealous.
Seth… Not only do you not have a right to be jealous, but you have an understanding of the word. You used the word…
Isabella… I knew what the word meant though…
Seth… Really then why could you not explain it?
Isabella… Because “jealousy” is very hard to put into words.
Seth… No, it is not because there it is in front of you. When you use a term that you “know what it means” but have no way of explaining it then you do not know what the word means.
Isabella… But why, my question is with all the things that he has been saying to me and we have been discussing why is he you know, checking out his J-Date profile.
Seth… And why shouldn’t he?
Isabella… I can’t fit… because I’m… the best. (Laughter.)
Seth… You’re lucky that I assigned this session to Frank first before you.
Isabella… No, I am….
Seth… You also have one that you have to do.
Isabella… Yes, that’s why you didn’t assign this on to me.
Seth… How is “The Secret” going and speaking to the man through whom I speak?
Isabella… I have to talk to him.
Seth… I thought that might be helpful.
Isabella… I feel like I am being overly critical of this guy in terms…
Seth… You are being overly critical of yourself.
Isabella… How is it of myself?
Seth… Because you are so unsure of yourself that he is going online, you’re worried about you standing up to his situation.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Okay, are we finished now?
Isabella… So, what do I do? Help me out here, give me some advice.
Seth… I did.
Isabella… When?
Seth… Just before, did you read a word? Do you understand what you are doing?
Isabella… I understand completely what I am doing.
Seth… Then should you continue to do it?
Isabella… I could choose to just not do that?
Seth… Well, that would certainly be a profitable idea.
Isabella… So, should I just proceed in the situation as though he is not doing those things, or?…
Seth… Of course, because it matters not.
Isabella… Right. Okay. There is nothing I could really…
Seth… You’re judging him more harshly than you judge yourself. That is why this lecture is important.
Isabella… You’re right because it is completely fine for me to do it.
Seth… There you understand.
Isabella… No, it’s true, it is a double standard.
Seth… I’m not disputing that. Do you understand now, Frank?
Isabella… Did that help, Frank? (Stephanie laughs.) I’m glad that my trauma is helping you out.
Seth… Now that we have her trauma is helping you out, are there any other questions?
Jasmine…. I’m having a very difficult time with what happened with my conversation with my son tonight about his unhappiness with his job and my inability to do anything for him.
Seth… Should you be able to?
Jasmine…. No, I know that. Is there any insight you can give me as to, I mean could I suggest that he call a headhunter in his industry…
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question…
Jasmine…. Is there anything I should say or do for him, it’s very hard for me.
Seth… What steps has he taken, HE has not taken…
Jasmine…. He has interviewed with another company, he did…
Seth… How long ago?
Jasmine…. Just recently.
Seth… Would you say over a month ago?
Jasmine…. I think it may have been about a month ago.
Seth… What else has he done the month before that or the month since?
Jasmine…. I really don’t know. I don’t discuss that with him, he discusses it with me.
Seth… That is the problem you are dealing with. If someone is chronically unhappy and does not believe in themselves, you may give all the assistance that you can but that is as far as it can go. He is the one here who has to make “the change”. If he doesn’t make change, then all he will do is want and right now he is in a wanting situation. I want to have a better paying job. I want to be able to feel more free with money. I want to be able to… Yet what is he willing to do to ease his want? Does he stay later at work, or does he leave early? Does he apply himself or just wish for things?
Jasmine… I have no idea. He has been, this week alone he was at work twice very late, I know that for a fact. I don’t know; I don’t discuss his job with him.
Seth… Then you should not be so (upset?) therefore when you say what can you do, the only thing you can do is to say I was thinking about this, have you looked at a headhunter? Have you read the paper on a day-to-day basis to see what other things you might be interested in? Might you be willing to take a night course in school to help promote yourself? All these questions that you can ask may give him a sense of direction or he may just cast them off and just complain, which is certainly his style for it is easier to complain than it is to do something. Do you understand? You cannot fix this which is what you want to do, correct?
Jasmine…. I just want my child to be happy, that’s all.
Seth… No, notice you want, you want, it is not about you. It is about the child.
Jasmine…. I understand.
Seth… He has to make the decision to need to be different and until he makes the decision to need to be different then of course nothing occurs. For you certainly and I would encourage you to do so is to make a suggestion, ONCE. And then if he complains three months from now you say, well what did you do? How did you change? What actions have you taken? Do you understand?
Jasmine…. Em hmm.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: make sure you are an inspiration to yourself as well as to others. Know that you can and do make a difference. Judge yourself and others with equality. Please yourself; please others in the same manner. In doing so your needs will be fulfilled and your wants lessened. Try to attain that which you seek so that others may do the same for themselves.
Seth… Good evening. Pleasure to have all of you here. Take your time George, I have a little bit of housekeeping to do with Isabella. Want to get a book? Want some notes? (Isabella said something that was humorous but not audible.) I do not understand the reference points.
Small bit of housekeeping for you Kaetorina while we are waiting. I will tell you this now that the chair you are sitting on has a loose portion. Do not rock on the chair.
Jasmine… It has a loose what?
Seth… The legs are loose. So, she should not rock on the chair.
Isabella… Okay, don’t do anything crazy on it.
Frank… Would you like a new chair?
Stephanie… Okay then.
Seth… It will not collapse but I’m just giving you fair warning because you have a tendency to rock and move.
Stephanie… No, I’m good.
Jasmine… Is it in danger of breaking that I should take it to a furniture repair place?
Seth… Do you think I mentioned it because of for fun and games? (Stephanie laughs.)
That being stated, for you, let me see if I can give you a little bit of helpful advice. Give us a moment. You had a disagreement with a friend of yours and to put it mildly you are at times quite put out by her actions. Am I correct? (Isabella nods.) The universe quite often, and this includes most of you, gives individuals a chance to see both sides. And in allowing you to see both sides of a line of study you are better able to experience that which is necessary for your growth and development. You have been quite guilty over long periods of time of abandoning friendships. When you define yourself in certain ways you abandon your own abilities, and you leave friendships go. Therefore, one can legitimately say you do not know or understand how to cultivate that which you have sown. It is like a farmer, if you put your plantings down correctly you will expect a harvest somewhere along the line but if you make sure your plants do not get water, the fertilizer isn’t correct, you don’t give of yourself to that which you are growing then of course your plants rot. The same thing is true here with friendship. You have in this instance seen exactly what you do on a routine basis and why your lack of friendships abounds. So, you may take this information and of course choose to do with it as you will. But I did feel that it was for your own growth and development that I point it out, your lack.
Isabella… I’ve picked it up already myself the lesson, did I not say it to you yesterday?
Jasmine… You didn’t tell me yesterday at all.
Isabella… I absolutely did Mom, you don’t remember. I sat with you and Dad in the bed.
Seth… It matters not, leave it go.
Isabella… I said to you, this is exactly what I have done to people in the past. I said, taste of my own medicine. You don’t remember I said that?
Jasmine… No… (Not audible.)
Seth… That being stated, we shall give one other bit of housekeeping work, of course questions may be asked. For you, George, the loss and grieving that you are going into at this point of reference, it is obviously understandable. You must understand one other thing, that animals are far closer to the magic of the universe than humans are. There is a great division between understanding and experience. If I were to take you apart and look at every individual atom that makes you up, each atom, each molecule knows exactly what it has been and what it will become for routinely you change your entire existence within a few days. There is nothing within you that is the same from one month to the next. Animals on the other hand of course physiologically do the same thing, but they are always aware of where they have been and where they are going as a whole organism and not as an individual part. Therefore, when your beloved animal decided that it was time his consciousness gave you information that allowed you to pick up on his consciousness and do what was proper in the way in which the animal expected you to act. Do you understand?
So therefore, one may say you had very little choice in the matter in terms of how to proceed because that choice, as difficult as it is for most humans to understand was not yours, it was the animal’s. And since you are open to them, one by your own nature and two because of your own physical plane profession, you were aware of what was necessary and therefore you reacted and then acted in a very appropriate manner. Do you understand?
All that being stated let us move along. Under our subject of change, it is very, very interesting to note that there are many individuals who react quickly to events. The older a soul becomes the more likely it is that a period of contemplation occurs between a thought, a word and a deed. One must understand that each of you must learn to move at your own pace. In doing so you will allow change or the need for change to fill you with information as you would fill a bucket with water. (I love this concept! For me it has an experiential feel to it. F.N.) The fact that you fill your bucket the greater the likelihood is that you will spill a great deal. What do you spill in terms of the physical plane? You waste experience. Your efforts are not complete since you do not have all the information that the universe sought to give you. If you extrapolate this statement, you would be able to understand the why in events that keep repeating themselves. It is clearly obvious to an outsider that you have missed something and what you have missed is the ability to learn at your own pace.
All of you who sit around the table this evening are teachers in various forms. So, the question to each of you is simple, do you as an individual expect, demand, require that your students move at the same pace? The answer is of course obvious. However, the same cannot be said for most.
Jasmine… Students can’t move at the same pace, is that correct?
Seth… They cannot but the same cannot be said for you as an individual. For you meaning all those sitting around the table, in fact most who inhabit the physical plane. I will explain, just write it.
Jasmine… The same can’t be said for most?
Seth… Correct. How often do you speak without thinking? How often do you become frustrated, bothered, annoyed, aggravated when things or events are first not to your liking and second prevent you from obtaining that which you perceive as your right! Each of you desires to move quickly to obtain something. Most often you are not sure what that something is.
When you have a large bit of change that you believe is necessary you then become frustrated if you will with the idea that the change that you perceive has not been accomplished easily. Change requires mastery of self so that you may incorporate a different viewpoint than you currently possess. The individual who is overweight, the person who is concerned about beauty, the other who is concerned that their smoking habits are affecting others, the spendthrift all are individuals who require major change. The difficulty here is that they do not look at the simple fact that it took great effort on their part to become what they are! They then expect their decision to change to become instantaneous, to be instantaneous. This of course is at best foolhardy since large change itself for most individuals requires greater effort than it did to proceed along the path that you were on, to proceed along the path that you were on.
The person who goes to the beauty parlor, two, three times a week, the individual who goes to the plastic surgeon routinely, the dermatologist, looks for a quick cure to what they perceive as a failing at best or ugliness that they behold in themselves but, is not usually seen by others. If a change and a large one is required and for our purpose now, we will assume that it is, which is more practical for most individuals the quick fix, the sprinter, the runner who can run a hundred yards in less than ten seconds or the individual who will move cautiously and deliberately down the track of life perceiving and learning at their own pace? Both may attain the finish line, but the question arises is the race truly over?
Jasmine… Do you mean if the change is really accomplished?
Seth… Correct. Individuals who “stop smoking” commonly say, this is the sixth time I’ve stopped smoking. My question to them is simply this, what does the word stop mean? If one does not change their inner and outer perceptions, then of course any change is but a way-stop on the highway to true learning.
Isabella… If one does not change their inner and outer perceptions?
Seth… Then the way-stop…
Isabella… Way-stop?
Seth… A way-stop is for example if you were on a long journey and you pulled into, for example, a highway portion where you can get gas, where you can get food and it’s a transitory stop. Do you understand?
Isabella… A rest stop.
Seth… A rest stop is another way (to say it.)
Jasmine… And a way-stop?
Seth… It is actually the same thing but a way-stop you can spend much longer periods of time there.
Jasmine… One doesn’t change inner and outer perceptions and any change is but a way-stop to true learning.
Seth… To true learning.
Jasmine… I was left out on the highway. (Frank laughed softly.)
Seth… Now, the reason for this should be quite obvious. To incorporate change the ego portion of self must be directed to allow your intake of physical plane information so that it profits you in ways that you yourself will find helpful.
If one, then puts this together and since of course you are not alone there is the idea that opposites attract. Unfortunately, the outcome of true learning with others is never profitable when you are totally opposed or at opposite thereof with someone else. Examples here abound. The most common one at this point of reference may be seen in the clash of religious beliefs. The idea that “my god” is correct therefore “your god” cannot be. To allow experience to enrich you one must understand that although differences are common and should be explored you cannot change if you don’t accept the differences with a fair and just manner. You cannot control that which another does although you would like to. Even if you do things differently commonly the outcome is the same. Simple example, if you have a dark colored wash and a white wash does it matter which one you do first? The answer is of course obvious.
To test your literary knowledge, there was a very famous story of a traveler who was brought to a land where there was a war going on between that land or kingdom and went across the way, it was separated by “an ocean.” And their great difference was how to eat an egg. Do you eat the egg and if it’s a soft-boiled egg from the small side of the egg first, you crack that open first, or do you crack open the large side of the egg? (“Gulliver’s Travels” by Johnathon Swift written in 1725.) I believe that with most individuals where change is necessary that they look at the egg and they prefer one side over the other. And therefore, the other person, community, country is wrong. Differences are what make you great. However, if you let them pull you apart where do you then stand?
One must understand that when you have a difference with another, especially when you are of opposite views the quick fix, the rush to judgment rarely succeeds. The old soul is patient, they are kind. They look at differences as a challenge and an opportunity for eventual success. They are never rushed. They think before speaking. They contemplate the change itself so that the change itself can be incorporated into themselves and that they as individuals may profit from their experience.
Each of you must view change in your own way. That is to say you are responsible for making the change itself. Large or small it matters not. Move at your own pace. Relish the difference between you and others. Then and only then will the universe stop providing you with opportunity after opportunity to learn the same thing. Always enjoy the change for it is a new beginning. Where something ends something begins. I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:07 P.M.)
Let us go ahead. Are there any questions here from what we have covered?
Frank… How does one get a feel for their pace?
Jasmine… For their what? Pace?
Frank… Yeah.
Jasmine… Of how they are changing?
Seth… No.
Frank… No, no, the pace that you should be moving along, yes.
Seth… When you… it is not a question of a feeling for the pace. When you find things that are repeating it becomes obvious that you are moving too quickly.
Frank… Or not at all.
Seth… Or not at all, usually it’s a too quick problem because you are not allowing yourself to absorb that which has been given to you. You move past it. It is seeing a gas station on the highway, and you are now passing and say, oh, I hope I have enough to make the next station because you didn’t check the gauge to allow you to process, I’m getting low on gas therefore I am going to fill up. Do you understand?
Frank… I do.
Seth… If you are going to speak, take the microphone.
Frank… Would you categorize getting lost in the forest as moving too quickly?
Seth… Ah that…
Frank… Or too stupidly?
Seth… Well either one is perfectly acceptable.
Frank… (Frank laughing.) Quickly and stupidly.
Seth… Stupidly, yes, we will allow that to stand by itself. (Others laughing as well.)
Stephanie… I thought you were saying when you find things are repeating that you are moving too quickly meaning that you’re not having patience to be able… to um…
Seth… Isn’t that what I just said?
Frank… Figure it out, take it in, understand.
Seth… If you are going at ninety miles an hour, don’t look at your gas gauge, pass the gas station and then somewhere two minutes later say, I really should have pulled in for gas because I am running low, are you not moving too quickly to allow yourself to process or to absorb that which you needed to?
Stephanie… Em hmm, and what does that have to do with accepting these differences?
Seth… All of this in terms of if you move in a rapid pace…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… your style of learning, your feelings for things, the way in which you process information is unique onto you. However, if you are moving so quickly that you cannot either see that or you don’t allow another to process things at their own rate what happens?
Stephanie… Right, you miss it.
Seth… Not only do you miss it but what else?
Stephanie… Well, you are going to repeat it and…
Seth… And so will the other person if you are dealing directly with him. Notice that when you deal with for example, “you are a therapist”, I put that in quotes, and you deal with couples.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… How often is it that one of the partners will understand very quickly yet it takes the other partner a great length of time to “catch up”? Yet the first partner, if they are moving so quickly does not have the tolerance or the stamina to allow the “slower partner” to move at their own pace. They want it done now!
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Isn’t that most of the things that you deal with?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… You understand?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Isabella… I have a question related to the repeated lesson pattern. Obviously in my situation even with this argument that I had with my friend, the repeated pattern for me being the abandonment of friends, why is the lesson presenting itself in a different manner this time?
Seth… The universe is a wonderful “machine”, and it will give each of you an opportunity to learn. Remember if in one lifetime you are the good person, in the next lifetime or the lifetime after that you are going to play the opposite role. And you do this because you cannot have incomplete learning on any line of study. Do you understand this so far?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… So, if you are going to learn to experience something whatever that “something is” then you must participate on both sides. Or at the very least observe and study both sides of whatever question arises. You have made and by your own admission numerous failures on this line of study therefore the universe provided you with the other side of the line of study so that maybe you will incorporate that into yourself so that you don’t have to repeat the other side.
Isabella… Right, my question is why, I mean I also feel that you know even in early stages of my relationship with George that I was falling back into that same pattern and Shanna really helped me kind of see the opposite side of that and sat with me and discussed that with me and obviously Stephanie as well. And I am just curious as to why this lesson from the opposite side has not presented itself earlier in my learning so I could have maybe um…
Frank… Move quicker?
Isabella… No, but maybe have seen this in a different way a little earlier to maybe have prevented this pattern repeatedly.
Seth… Three word question, were you ready?
Isabella… Definitely not.
Seth… I believe you just answered your own question.
Isabella… So obviously now being in a very different stage in my life and in a different stage in my own development. I’m much more ready to see this opposite side because I am kind of done with that giving up that part of my life for somebody else.
Seth… One can only surmise that you might or might not be.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… That is a futuristic idea in and of itself.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… But at least you now understand both sides.
Isabella… But it is a very different perspective when you see the other side.
Seth… One, one side is listen I can do whatever I want, this is my life if I want to do this and the other side says, you’re hurting me.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You abandoned me. This is not correct.
Isabella… I almost wished that this had happened much earlier.
Seth… I can understand that but that is not the issue.
Isabella… So now how do I go about rectifying the situation with her because I’ve already tried talking to her about it and she really is not ready to see my side at all.
Seth… Why does she have to see your side? Who is important?
Isabella… I am important.
Seth… Why bother going more than that?
Isabella… I don’t understand. I don’t understand. So, it is not even worth my going there with her?
Seth… No, it is what’s not worth, it is your trying to change her. Could you be changed? The answer is no.
Isabella… Could I be changed?
Seth… Could you be changed until you were ready to make a change?
Isabella… No.
Seth… So then why are you trying to change her?
Isabella… Ah… I’m not trying to change…
Seth… Certainly are.
Isabella… Um, because…
Seth… You’re losing. You cannot force someone to change and therefore they’re embarked upon a path or a course of action or a line of study that leads them onto a certain viewpoint. So, either you are going to accept that person for what they are, meaning to you or you are not. Now if you are not going to accept them you leave them go, you do not have to deal with them. But if you choose to deal with them, you cannot force them to change. You can only very simply state, I wish I could see more of you. That’s about as far as you can go.
Isabella… But it is a little bit more than that because she’s very self-absorbed in her own life, so my life has really not, is not important to her at all. She doesn’t ask me anything about my life. She doesn’t, she isn’t curious to know what’s going on with me. You know whenever I talk to her it is always, me, me, me. This is what Bob did. This is what is going on with Jeff. This is what you know it, this is really why I have been calling you incessantly over the last few days. (Stephanie laughs.) Just so you know. And I just feel that that there is no, she has no interest at all in what’s going on with me. And for me I don’t feel like that promotes me at all. It’s really not a relationship…
Seth… She’s not dealing with you; she’s dealing with herself.
Isabella… But I’m kind of done. Like I now… so how do you, in a weird kind of a way it is almost like I want to step back.
Seth… Is that not what all your friends did?
Isabella… Yes, that’s exactly what…
Seth… Did you believe that they were correct?
Isabella… No, not.
Seth… Why would you do the same thing then?
Isabella… Okay so this is what I am asking so then how do I… What do I do in the interim? If I don’t, I don’t want to lose her as a friend because I love her. But do I talk to her?
Seth… Why not? Did you not hear me state earlier you live together and appreciate your differences?
Isabella… Yeah, but I tried talking to her already and she didn’t want to hear what I was saying.
Seth… Why are you talking on the subject at all?
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You’re still trying to change her.
Isabella… So just understand her value to me at this point.
Seth… At that point. If you don’t feel she has a value, you will move along.
Are there any other questions?
George… Can they be off topic questions?
Seth… Certainly.
George… I was wondering if you could give me sort of help or guidance just in terms of where I am looking for the next job? There are so many possibilities out there.
Seth… Possibilities are always futuristic.
George… Okay.
Seth… So, we cannot deal with that. But let us deal with what we can in terms of your own being. You must learn of course to promote yourself. For example, would you go to a job interview the way you are dressed now?
George… Of course not.
Seth… Why not?
George… Unprofessional.
Seth… It’s unprofessional.
George… Em hmm.
Seth… In other words, you would look badly and people no matter how great you were would not be able to tolerate that which and how you presented yourself. Is that fair?
George… Sure.
Seth… Now, if that’s fair are there other things about you and your personality and the way in which you conduct yourself that you would like to change?
George… (George started with something that was unclear and this is the issue as he tends to mumble in a low voice.) I guess, the topic of changing the way I talk.
Seth… Okay, let’s look at the way you speak. A person who had difficulty with speaking only speaks how?
George… Softly.
Seth… That’s one.
George… You look down.
Seth… That’s two.
George… Mumble.
Seth… Three.
George… Stutter
Seth… Possibly but we will give you four. Just as you are starting to do now, go ahead.
George… Pauses and speaking quietly…
Seth… Pause and speak low but they also tend to speak very quickly. And they speak quickly in a vain attempt to cover up that which they feel is a failing.
George… I also speak quickly when I am unsure about when I am giving advice and giving things like that.
Seth… That makes you look bad. Now, so one must learn in your instance to speak loudly, slowly, and distinctly. And if you happen to stutter over a word, so what. Read that back to me in a loud slow distinct voice.
George… I must learn to speak loudly…
Seth… No, I didn’t hear you. (Isabella giggles.) I want you to say it so that Jasmine, who is in the kitchen now can hear you.
George… I must learn to speak loudly, slowly and distinctly. (George spoke in a much louder and clearer manner.)
Seth… Was that difficult?
George… Yes. (The group laughs with George.)
Seth… As well it should be. (Individuals were saying, “That was good.”) But it shows you, you can with practice succeed. What, (Seth tapped on the table to get attention) here is an exercise for you.
George… Okay.
Seth… I believe you know the author Shakespeare.
George… Yes.
Seth… Get a book of sonnets from him and I want you to read them out loud for fifteen minutes a day nonstop, slowly and distinctly and you are to read them to someone. (Isabella giggled.) Do you understand?
George… Yes, thank you.
Seth… Any other questions? Aren’t you sorry you asked now?
Frank… A couple of weeks ago when you were about to present six concepts, you talked about there being a window for our learning and if you weren’t ready earlier and if you waited any longer it would be in a sense too late.
Seth… Not in a sense.
Frank… Right, why is that?
Seth… If a window opened just as I described there…
Frank… Yeah.
Seth… to receive and understand information.
Frank… But then it closes?
Seth… The window never truly closes because if you don’t succeed by your line of reasoning means you will never learn. Are you still walking in the trees? Are you still walking into trees?
Frank… At times, sure.
Seth… Are you still stupid? That was from an earlier question of yours. (Isabella is giggling.)
Frank… Sometimes, yes.
Seth… Therefore, do you believe the window is shut and you will always walk into trees?
Frank… No.
Seth… Therefore, does the statement itself make no sense.
Frank… Seth, this was your statement.
Seth… No, I said the window will close in terms of an easier way to do things. The longer you delay learning the more difficult things become as you are finding out.
Frank… And that was what you were referring to back then?
Seth… Just as you have a great tendency to apply concepts to a vast audience instead of allowing material to flow in a steady pace, you try and fit the individual to the concept instead of seeing that the concept and the individual may not be ready for each other. Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah, I do.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Yes, I want to follow up on that because in a way if the learning the next time or the next time it is presented as harder, I’ve been trying to pick up the pace. I’ve been trying to not stop out of fear, not to…
Seth… Slow down. Take things easier. To pick up a pace means to rush. You don’t want to rush through something, you want to be able to understand something and learn from it. For example, when individuals are taught to take an exam especially that has to do with a large amount of reading within the examination. The first thing they are told to do is to read the questions. The second thing they are taught to do is to go ahead and to skim the paragraph or paragraphs or pages. And the third thing they are to do is to because they remember the questions that they read is to read the information so that they may understand it to answer the questions as they proceed to read the material.
Arthur… They are also taught sometimes; your first thoughts are your best thoughts.
Seth… We are not dealing with that.
Arthur… But I am still confused about the notion of acting incisively, acting, not clouding my knowledge.
Seth… What does that have to do with the question that you ask?
Arthur… Because I have been trying to respond in the moment to something that comes…
Seth… Responding in the moment is not the same thing as moving quickly or rushing. Responding to something that happens can be a clear definitive statement of whatever it is. I will do this; I will not do this. So, if your sister calls you up and says I need five thousand dollars, well you can respond in the moment without rushing and say, I’m sorry I am not going to do that.
Arthur… Right.
Seth… Or you may want to say, I don’t know if I am ready to give you an answer let me think about it. Both things are responding in the moment. You see the difference?
Arthur… Okay. And do you have any feedback for me about which I do?
Seth… You have a great tendency to dwell on what was and you review the what was and you challenge yourself by saying did I make the right choice. The question to you is does it matter? The answer is no. Because even if you did make a choice that was not the most profitable thing for you, do you want to extend it, the wrong thing? Is there any possibility to correct it? The answer of course is obviously there is. Do you understand?
Arthur… Yes, and yet it is followed by understanding what I did wrong that I can do right.
Seth… Or, you see…
Arthur… No?
Seth… you are looking at wrong and right as an absolutely, as absolute.
Arthur… Better… than.
Seth… It is not a question of wrong or right. It’s a question of was this event that I gave Kaetorina more profitable? Was it in my best interest? Well, it may have been, or it may not have been and so you can correct that which is not by understanding that which is.
Arthur… And yet to separate that from my erroneous idea that this has to do with fate.
Seth… Right because it does not.
Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: One must learn their own pace in life, meditate, contemplate, review. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Even if you travel the same road, there are always differences. Learn to appreciate them. In doing so you will find that your needs are fulfilled, your stomach will be full, and you will become saturated with the goodness of the physical plane. I bid you all a very fond good evening.
Realizing You Are Not Alone, Grounding, Stepping Away From Anger And Building On Previous Successes
Tuesday April 1, 2008
8:25 P.M.
Seth… Good evening.
Group… Good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here this evening. We shall not wait for our tardy individual. A little bit of housekeeping that we must go through. We will start off with our friend Frank: One of the things that for you should be quite disturbing is the concept of becoming enmeshed in techniques. One of the ideas that you routinely do is to force feed if you will a great deal of my information to some of your patients and in doing so you have a great tendency to not help them. Now let me explain this in a slightly different manner that you can understand. You have been coming here for approximately?
Frank… Nine years.
Seth… So now you’ve been here for nine years, and I have been very careful on all aspects of every word that I have uttered towards you or anyone else who has been in this group. Each step builds upon something else, and this information is vitally important for all, either a reader, or someone who sits around the table. So that when you use information here you take away a person’s immediate level of understanding because they are not ready for a great deal of this information since they have not been prepared for it. In other words when you have a client who you are dealing with their talking about themselves and although my information may be exceptionally valuable to them you start, you will excuse the expression, rattling off information and points where they are not ready to hear this. So, you end up losing their ability to function with you because they look at you as a person who is just giving information who is not listening to them. Do you understand?
Frank… Em hmm.
Seth… And what you must do is pay more attention to them and less attention to me. Not that my words are not valuable, but you can work them in, in a much different manner than you do. And that is something that I believe is mandatory for your own health, well-being, and prosperity. Do you understand?
Frank… I do.
Seth… That takes care of that little bit of housekeeping. Second bit of housekeeping concerns you, Isabella. You will note that in my earlier discussion with you today you through me had an idea of how you define yourself. An incident happened at tonight’s dinner where you had great difficulty in understanding what was going on. Now this is due to the fact that one, you were defining yourself in an improper manner. Second, not only were you defining yourself in an improper manner you were worried how someone else will judge you. Now I am not saying of course that that should be mean or disrespectful to anyone by any means, but you are being mean and disrespectful to a very important person and that of course is yourself. So, you must redefine yourself not in terms of anyone else whether it be male or female or anything. You must define yourself in terms of what and who and what you are. For you and we will get into this later you are not grounded, you are too flighty. And therefore, your tendency here is to react as a lonely individual and if you will read last week’s (session) and I will start covering that in a few more minutes.
Isabella… Is that a learned behavior? Or…
Seth… Well, it is what you do with yourself. You have to unlearn that behavior.
Isabella… How could I…
Seth… If you are a confident individual and somebody…
Isabella… Cancelled.
Seth… gave you message, whatever the message was. I am going to change this or whatever you could have said…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… That’s it but you didn’t do that. You wrote that but you didn’t do that at all. You’ll excuse the expression here, you were churning; you were trying to redefine yourself in terms of this position. Do you understand?
Lastly Jasmine, again you have a great tendency here to put yourself into inferior positions, whether it be with your son Douglas, whether it be with Isabella or your sister or your mother or anyone else because this is how you define you. And again, one must never become fearful and again that is part of grounding one’s self, and we will touch with this in a few moments. One must never become fearful of what! When you do not know and have no concept of how another will react your tendency is to become overwhelming concerned with the what.
Jasmine… What if? What will happen?
Seth… You are in the process of defining yourself as what you are not. Do you understand this so far? That is your basic premise here.
Jasmine… In general?
Seth… In general. Now in defining yourself as what you are not you routinely define yourself as the fact that you are not content, or you are not happy. You are not! And when you define yourself in that respect then you are not of course satisfied or happy or content. And because you define yourself as not satisfied, happy or content then of course you are not. So, your object here is to redefine yourself into something you would choose to become. Well, I am not going to define myself as something that I am meaning not happy, not content and you are a worrier. So, if you redefine yourself as something you are not you will become happy, you will become content, you will become satisfied. Do you understand this?
Jasmine… Redefine myself as something…
Seth… That you are presently not. Are you routinely happy?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… Are you routinely content?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… So that is what you are.
Jasmine… Yeah.
Seth… So, if you change your perspective and redefine yourself as what you are not that means you will be happy and you will be content etc. Do you understand this?
Jasmine… Meaning I am not…
Seth… If…
Jasmine… I am not sad. I am not miserable.
Seth… You are not worrisome. You are not.
Jasmine… That’s how I should define myself?
Seth… As something that you are not. If you are something and are not content with it? Do you understand?… Do you follow me?
Jasmine… Em.
Seth… And I think that is the key here that you must do.
That being given, first are there any questions from last week’s ideas and lecture about loneliness and being alone?
Isabella… How do you… when you are at a point and you are feeling unloved, it says when you do not feel loved you are making yourself feel lonely.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So how do you go about not feeling unloved?
Seth… By asking yourself a simple question, first is it true?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Why go further?
See how simple things become when you define yourself in specific ways. Just as Jasmine has to redefine herself from what she is to what she is not and that would be profitable for her.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… So, someone who feels that they are unworthy, unloved, unlikable must redefine themselves by simply asking a question. Am I not loved? The answer is of course I am loved. So, you don’t have to go too much further, do you?
In our aspect of Change, one tends to be moved from their center spot because they don’t ground themselves in reality as it is. There is a great temptation for want within all souls who inhabit the physical plane. I want a better job. I want to be happy. I want to be prosperous. I want to be loved. I want to be not left alone. I want to be able to help others. The difficulty here is that none of these statements first grounds you and second of all allow you to change your viewpoint. Fear which governs those statements literally pushes one away from attaining that which you desire. Just as I explained to our friend Frank, his desire to help causes him to become mired down in the technique of instead of allowing himself and his clients to create properly. Just as our compatriot Kaetorina years ago tried to force feed, yes, I use things again, force feed a patient information that caused the patient to run because she became invested in the idea. One must place themselves always at the greatest point of power which obviously is now the present. And in doing so you will look at that which surrounds you with different eyes. The fear of not attaining something often is a camouflage unit if you will that causes individuals to move away from that which they actually require. To move away from what they obviously require. A clear example of this is seen when an individual becomes so engrossed with another’s actions that our first individual literally takes on the attributes and problems of the other. You cannot ever force yourself to become another, which is what our individual does here. Fear…
Stephanie… Control the situation?
Seth… They choose… let me finish. They fear that the other will not become so strong that our first individual believes that unless they take on the difficulties of another the other will not be able to succeed on their own. Examples here abound, the idea of a stage mother or father who is so invested in their child’s “career” often acts as a stumbling block if you will for the child themselves. Note here that I am not stating that one should not be concerned about another. It is what you do with your ideas that matter. How often is it that when you as an individual becomes so enraptured with another’s play that you become literally fearful and then angry when the other individual does not live up to your expectations? Statements such as: “Why didn’t you listen to me? I’m older I know better. Can’t you just understand that I have your best interest at heart. Just do it my way; you’ll see.” Statements such as these are annoying and anger producing, both to the individual who is listening to them and to the soul who utters them. One must obviously step away from their anger. The anger is produced when you view the other as not listening to you therefore you erroneously believe that you are lonely and alone. You are pushed off center out of fear for the other as well as yourself.
Frank… Say that again.
Jasmine… Pushed off center, fear for other?
Seth… For fear for about the other as well as for yourself. Give us a moment. (There is a pause as Seth is researching which is always interesting to observe as Jerry’s head moves back and forth quickly as if reading.) Your dis-ease if you will, your anger is a manifestation of your perception of being alone. “How could you not listen to me?” You are not grounded. You are being tossed by events that are obviously not under your control.
It should be noted here that your anger is first unreasonable and second destructive to all those around. I am sure our therapists in the group have noticed that when their patients are angry, they are not centered and at times make little sense. Each of you must learn to build upon what you have already succeeded in doing. It is the successful individual who uses their success to promote that which they require. Just as a teacher builds upon his/her student’s ability and encourages a transformation within each individual so must you encourage a transformation within yourself. If you are not something that you enjoy then you build upon your successes, meaning past successes and change that which you are into something that you can easily maintain. The grounded individual maintains himself/herself by fostering success.
If there is something that you do not like about your past, you use your present to change your past so that your future road moves in a different direction. If you are always a victim of others, what purpose does it serve for you to maintain that viewpoint? If you define yourself in ways that do not promote you, question them. You will note that fear is overwhelmingly responsible for the not doing of anything. It is far too easy for you to attempt to maintain the status quo. “I’ll allow that to happen. Why argue with this?” These actions and reactions to events obstruct your growth and development. It is obvious now that you can never truly be alone, yet most individuals fervently try to be alone. “Don’t bother me. I’ll work it out myself. It’s okay. I know I can do it.” These are but a few of the statements that individuals make that prevent change itself. You become so embroiled in the idea of not accomplishing something that you don’t. Each of you must make an effort to move yourself out of your own habitual nature of doing something. You will find that when you are angry or bothered you tend to repeat the way in which you view and do an event over and over again. You do it over and over again because you are not allowing yourself room for growth. Your judgment is actually warped. These ideas prevent change. When you maintain that which is, you are in reality telling yourself you are not! Build upon that which you are. Do not engage another’s play and make it your own. Define yourself in the highest and most noble ideas that you can and do this as often as necessary so that you believe you are what you desire to be. I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(9:07 P.M.)
Let us move along. Are there any questions? (There was laughter and group banter with Seth saying something to Jasmine about not becoming overwhelmingly happy. This seemed related to the discussion at break which is not on tape.)
George… Could you talk a little bit more about how you use…
Seth… Speak loudly and slowly and distinctly, please.
George… Could you elaborate a little more about how you use, go about using your previous successes to promote yourself without being egotistical?
Seth… First you must understand what success is for yourself. And I believe that is a vital factor with anyone. Now, it is never a question of being egotistical if you are promoting yourself to yourself. I am not saying you would say to someone see how good I am. See what I did. See what I have accomplished. That may be looked at by others in a nonprofitable way for you. But let us assume for example that you have enjoyed success in terms of a surgery or a type of surgery that you have done. Are you with me so far?
George… Yes.
Seth… Now, if you enjoy that type of surgery you will build upon the idea of this type of surgery, I would like to promote for myself, and you will look for instances where you can use your skills to promote yourself in that situation. It is the same thing that any student has when they have a success in school. A good parent and certainly a good teacher will say, “Do you remember how you did on this subject matter? You applied yourself. You found it interesting.” So, you are going to use that as a building block to keep on going. It is the keeping on going that tends to give you a sense of direction. Do you understand? So, if you understand that you will promote yourself so you may change what you do not enjoy or do not like into something that you find favorable. For example, if you did not like for example doing surgeries on let us say birds. You may be very capable of doing it but if you don’t like it you will tend not to promote yourself to do that. Do you understand? Does this make more sense to you now?
George… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… Can you give a good example of grounding one’s self in reality?
Seth… Yes, it is very simple. Don’t do what our friend Frank does. April fools to you. (Stephanie giggled.)
When one grounds themselves in reality one has to be cognizant of what’s going on. Your vision cannot be narrowed, it has to be expanded. And by expanding your sense of, you ground yourself, you are not distracted. You are using what was to promote what is to promote what will be. Do you understand? (Frank said something about writing it down.)
Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah, you’re recognizing what the, you are recognizing reality, what it was, not fooling yourself.
Seth… Correct. And since you are not fooling yourself as you just said you are able to change and make changes with ease.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Where you said that the fear of not attaining something is often a camouflage unit, what are you talking about attaining? Are you talking about the want of whatever it is?
Seth… Read the statement itself again.
Stephanie… The fear of not attaining something is often a camouflage unit that causes individuals to move away from that which they actually obviously require.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… The fear of not attaining something?
Seth… It is if I go ahead and lose weight.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… But the fear of losing weight will people still like me. Will people still deal with me? Will I be looked at differently? Therefore, I can’t lose weight because it will make too many changes around me. So, the fear of not prevents you from doing what you would like to do.
Stephanie… If you are not dealing with the changes.
Seth… Correct. Do you understand now?
Jasmine… You’re having to deal with the changes.
Seth… Same thing. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… Could you talk about the statement that people will say, when you are trying to do things along with the say I can do it myself? How does that prevent you from accomplishing that which you are trying to?
Seth… If you say, I will do this by myself! You rule out everyone else.
Jasmine… From helping you?
Seth… Of course, you become alone. You understand?
Jasmine… You isolate yourself from others.
Seth… You are isolating yourself even from yourself. It is a refusal to seek assistance.
George… Was it wrong to think that you don’t need assistance?
Seth… It is always incorrect to believe that you are alone. (I believe George is repeating his question for Jasmine.)
It is always wrong to believe that you are alone.
George… But if you feel you can do something?
Seth… Doing something and accomplishing it successfully whether you have help or not is one thing. But to make a statement, “I will do this by myself!” is detrimental. Because no matter what it is, are you better off with some sort of assistance or being alone even if you can?
George… Always better for… (being open to the idea of assistance.)
Seth… It’s al… you are correct, it is always better with others. Since you are part of a mass consciousness. Do you understand?
Are there any other questions?
Frank… Just bouncing off of that; so, the idea is even if you are doing it alone others are available. Just the fact that you are saying, no I’ll do it alone…
Seth… Once you isolate yourself you are not grounded.
Frank… It’s also a camouflage?
Seth… Always.
Frank… No, I’ll do it alone?
Seth… It’s fear that someone else may criticize you in a manner you don’t like.
Frank… Or other reasons, no?
Seth… There are many, I just use that as an example.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Let me just ask when you’re talking about the person who enmeshes themselves in someone else’s play and you said, “Your dis-ease is a manifestation of your perception of “being alone”, how could you not listen to me?” You’re not, you know then you’re not grounded. Is that for anybody who tries to do this or do they have a prior issue with being alone…
Seth… Both.
Stephanie… to come up with?
Seth… It matters not.
Stephanie… Uh huh. So just the idea that anyone who promotes this idea of wanting someone to listen to them; if they don’t, they are going to feel alone?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… If they are not listened to, they feel alone or they don’t do that.
Stephanie… If you are imposing yourself on another…
Jasmine… Yeah.
Stephanie… And they don’t want to have any part of that you end up feeling alone. That’s a concept I never really, I mean obviously, I never thought of that outcome in that situation.
Seth… Well look at it from a different standpoint. Let us assume that you are dealing with someone, use your husband as an example.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And you say to him, listen this is how I would do this. I would ask for a raise. I would insist upon this, this, this. You are now enmeshing yourself in his play.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And if he then says to you, I am not going to pay attention to you. I don’t think you are at all correct. How does that make you feel?
Stephanie… Right, you feel… alone.
Seth… Alone!
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… You have your answer. Whether he’s correct or not matters not. For you have now pushed yourself into a position where they don’t listen to you, you feel empty.
Stephanie… Right and people don’t realize this is a phenomenon that goes on all the time.
Seth… All the time.
Stephanie… Right, that’s why imposing self on another in any way would put them in a position to perhaps be a victim…
Seth… Would it not be better in my example to you, let us assume you wanted to again speak to your husband about getting a raise, getting a better job? Say, I understand that you are doing your best you can here. But do you really think that they are adequately compensating you for what you’re doing? It is how you give information or give your ideas to another that allows a sense of communication as compared to saying, listen when you do this you get this, when you do this, you do this. I want you to. I don’t want you to. And if they don’t listen to you and they don’t pay attention to you, you do not function well.
Stephanie… Right. That’s a much clearer example of how you make yourself a victim verses obviously making the other person a victim…
Seth… first
Stephanie… First.
Seth… and yourself second.
Stephanie… Right.
Jasmine… Imposing your will on them?
Seth… You cannot impose your will upon anyone.
Jasmine… By trying to.
Seth… You try to. For example, if you were to turn to Isabella and state, when you go out and you don’t put on makeup you don’t look well. That means you’re caring about what she does more than what she is caring about want she does. Does it bother you that she says, leave me alone I’m not talking to you?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Ah! So now who is losing here?
Jasmine… The person who made the comment.
Seth… And the other because you may in reality have been correct.
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… But through past times over and over again you’re not building upon your successes. You are using criticism and failure to promote what you believe is a correct idea. Do you see the difference?
Jasmine… Yeah.
Seth… Even if you are one hundred percent correct you are not winning. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Oh, can I ask a patient question?
Seth… Certainly.
Stephanie… Ah, I have a patient.
Seth… It doesn’t matter Isabella will type this up anyway.
Stephanie… Oh. (Isabella reacted a bit.)
Seth… April fool. (Said softly.)
Isabella… Thank you.
Stephanie… (Laughing.) Um, she has incredible intimacy issues. I’m not quite sure how to help her at this point to become more comfortable with moving toward that.
Seth… The question is not… you cannot move her toward anything.
Stephanie… Well, she is stating; I need help with this. Why can’t I, why don’t I want to cuddle? Why don’t I want to be close? Why is it…
Seth… Because it’s fear. In other words, what it is, is when you give of yourself you are opening yourself up in ways that allow two individuals to feel each other. If one is not sure about the other. If one is angry due to constant difficulties. If one does not trust the other, then the intimacy issue becomes important because since you cannot trust the other to accept you as you are…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… there can be no true give and take.
Stephanie… Right so I, you know spoke to her about this, the idea that this is probably what is going on. But then the question becomes how can she help herself to trust this individual more?
Seth… By small steps.
Stephanie… To notice that they are occurring?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Yeah, because they are but, and she is taking note of them but doesn’t want to move herself.
Seth… Why should she? She moves when she becomes more comfortable…
Stephanie… And more of him promoting that…
Seth… And it is going to take time to reestablish that which was not and that which is now lost.
Stephanie… Right, I spoke with her about the fact that this has, all of this stuff had gone on for years. So, the idea of that trust issue is saying “time” it’s a while to recoup that.
Seth… If for example you have an individual where intimacy is lacking or at least to one person or even both it matters not.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Each time there is a movement towards each other…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… there is success. But when one or both individuals re-hurt each other…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… you start again. You cannot believe that intimacy occurs if I am nice on
Monday but difficult on Tuesday, what am I doing on Wednesday?
Stephanie… You restart literally from the beginning of the injury?
Seth… From the beginning every single time.
Stephanie… The psyche, the beginning, years prior?
Seth… Because all you are doing is reliving a hurt.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… In other words, let me explain it to you this way, let us assume that every time you were in Frank’s presence not you Frank, Frank’s presence, he insulted you, he hit you, made you feel badly about yourself, any or all of those and then through work upon your part, two, three, four times he didn’t. So, you are establishing a sense of feeling likable towards that individual, towards our hypothetical Frank, correct? And then on the fifth time he hits you, hurts you or insults you again or makes a repeatable offense…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Where does that immediately take you?
Stephanie… Right as if the, as if the good days didn’t exist.
Seth… They can’t exist because the hurt is reopened.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… If for example you were telling me that the person was kind or nice for a year, two years, three years, two months, five months whatever it was, well everyone is allowed to make an error. But when things go on in a repeatable manner over and over and over and over again even on a once-a-week basis what you gain you lose. Because you cannot assume that your patient although he/she of it wants to move towards the other individual and being a student of human nature that I am the other individual wants to move towards your patient but every time that he/she moves towards that patient they’re hurt, what is the natural reaction of anybody who is hurt do?
Stephanie… Move back.
Seth… You move away as far as you can.
Stephanie… Right, so anything resembling the past hurt, resembling will reopen?
Seth… Push somebody away.
Stephanie… So, let’s just say the husband is going to need to be aware of what it is that is a trigger for her, and he has to stay away from those things and act…
Seth… That may or not be feasibly possible. Let’s assume it’s possible.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Let’s assume that the wife is a spender and does outlandish shopping so the husband every time there is outlandish shopping gets annoyed, bothered or upset. So, he has to make it perfectly clear to himself, one I cannot tolerate this behavior, say something and two if he notices that the other individual is trying say something. I understand you are trying but look what you have done to me. You’ve gone shopping again. You’ve hurt me again.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… How do you expect us to become closer if you keep on hurting me?
Stephanie… Right, so her role would be standing up for herself when there is a re-injury of any sort that resembles.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, he can get a clue in the moment.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay so I guess for her she is feeling not sure and isn’t able to stand up for herself, so she is not saying a word and then he doesn’t know when these occurrences happen.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Right, okay and is it…
Seth… Do you see how the being lonely, not being grounded, not stepping away from anger and not building from your past is exactly what you’ve described here?
Stephanie… Yeah, (said softly) it’s exactly that.
I mean this seems like a real monumental task because when you are talking about… You know if the goal is intimacy and there’s years and years of this dance, you know, how, I don’t know, how does one you know…
Seth… By starting! The simplest way is to start.
Stephanie… Right, but this re-injury, what if this guy reflexively because of his stuff does all this routinely and you know…
Frank… Well since I do work with the husband, he does but it is the same thing, he’s being hurt at the same time by her.
Seth… So, they both have to work out their hurt.
Stephanie… She is still in a rage at him.
Seth… When the rage stops feeling can start. That is the getting rid of anger. Step away from it.
Stephanie… But what’s going to help her to get rid of that rage?
Seth… You get rid of the rage because is it profitable.
Stephanie… But does she, are other tangible things causing her rage or is she just hanging on to it?
Seth… They may be and then they may be.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… If you are enraged at somebody the question that the good therapist would ask: What’s bothering you? What is happening within this last day, week or month that is causing you this rage?
Stephanie… Some of it’s not on the surface for her, like she’ll just recoil but I know rage is behind there.
Seth… Ask a question.
Stephanie… Yeah. I mean I know that she still doesn’t trust that he is going to back off and give her space and freedom. So…
Seth… Space and freedom has to be demanded by one individual.
Stephanie… Yeah, she needs to stand up for herself.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Then let me leave you with this: Change means coming to the realization that you are not alone that there are others around you. Ground yourself. Step away from your anger at… Build upon your successes. Change when necessary. These actions promote your needs and in doing so your wants are lessened. Have faith in yourself, raise yourself, make yourself better than you could imagine, and you will see how you will prosper. (It is important to note that the “four distinct points” that Seth started to present in Session 366 are stated above and that Session 366 should be read and studied directly along side with Session 367. These four points could be viewed as four steps to create change in areas of our life that can be quite difficult. F.N.)
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here again. A little bit of housekeeping: Isabella, I remember I gave you one more week and then I would strongly suggest that you do at least ten pages a week from The Secret with the man through whom I speak so that you can get that over and done with. And speaking of ten pages a week, make sure you (I believe directed towards Jasmine.) do it too because right now you are in need of that book.
That being stated, I am going to go into our idea of Change again. I’m going to cover, whether it be in one night or many nights, four distinct points. I am going to deal with feeling lonely or being lonely. I am going to cover being grounded, how you settle yourself and I am going to deal with how do you step back from anger which will all lead to the idea of how you build upon your past and change it if necessary.
Jasmine… That’s the fourth point?
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… How do you build upon…
Seth… Build upon your past or change it if necessary.
Jasmine… Your past…
Seth… Yes, the word is p… a…s…t. Now that being stated unless it is an absolute necessity, I believe that it would be far more profitable for each of you that if you have a question, write it down. And we will then go ahead and answer them once I get through with a portion of my material.
Isabella… Nobody is asking anything tonight. (Group laughter.)
Seth… I will demand that they ask quite a bit since you are typing the session. So, everyone must ask at least three to five questions.
Isabella… No! (More laughter.)
Seth… On topic or off.
George… Probably both. (Laughs)
Seth… Now, the concept of being alone requires a working definition from each of you. And I believe that it is important that we get it, so we have some sense of to where each of you relates to the statement. Betty?
Betty… Ah, definition of?
Seth… Lonely.
Betty… Alone?
Seth… Yes.
Betty… Um, not being in the company of others.
Seth… Fine. George and then pass the microphone.
George… Ah, of being disconnected from others, from everyone around you.
Seth… Disconnected.
Isabella… Um, feeling secluded both emotionally and physically from people.
Arthur… Not having others to transact with and exchange with.
Frank… Longing to be with others and at times feeling abandoned when not.
Jasmine… I think I see it in a more negative way than most people have expressed.
Frank… (Said softly.) Abandoned is pretty strong.
Jasmine… Well other than you Frank. (Frank laughs.) Other than you. Unfulfilled, lonely, sad, those kind of thoughts.
Stephanie… The idea of being alone or lonely?
Seth… Both.
Stephanie… I mean, you know there are times when I love to be alone so that would be a good thing, being alone. I enjoy being alone at times. And then the lonely would be where there would be a need for others. But yet feeling millions of miles away from another.
Seth… All this being stated, there are three portions of loneliness that we must delve into. The first physical plane and the second which is higher realm has two portions, the third being the majority of individual souls and the second being a type of soul that is rare, not unheard of but rare that for our purposes here we shall call “Identicals”. I do not mean twins, I mean identicals. Let us start with the physical plane idea. First you relate to the idea of being alone as isolated, something that you do not have. The difficulty here is simplistic in and of itself. Are you alone? If you turn on a T.V. or a radio program and listen to it, it has been noted by your scientist that background noise is important for mental functioning on higher levels.
Jasmine… Is important for?
Seth… Mental functioning on higher levels. Silence removes you from the outside which leads to the concept of poor communication. I have recently asked a question. Which is worse, being in a home with someone who you do not understand or communicate with or being alone by yourself? Now, the answer is obvious. Most individuals initially feel that being alone is worse. Yet I tell you this being within a community atmosphere such as a stadium filled with individuals or being with one other person that you do not relate to or understand or communicate well with is far more detrimental to your health and wellbeing than you could possibly imagine. Anger is usually the result of that intermixing of facts.
Let me give you an example taken from the man through whom I speak. Give us a moment. A number of years ago both he and Jasmine were invited to a religious ceremony, a coming of age of a Jewish child and they went to this temple that was full of very devoutly religious individuals. The service goes on, the child does their part well and finally the service ends. And when this service ended everybody congratulates each other for the Saturday holiday and the man through whom I speak of course had been separated from Jasmine and many individuals reached over him and congratulated their friends and hugged them. Yet not one of these individuals said one word to the man though whom I speak. His sense of utter loneliness quickly led to outrage and anger. How he dealt with it matters not. (Jerry who knows how to stand up for himself spoke to the Rabbi. F.N.)
Yet the human condition quite often deals with loneliness on massive levels. It is known that there is a large increase in suicides during your holiday periods. The despair that individuals feel is obvious. Yet quite often individuals isolate themselves. They become almost invisible to the outside world, and they wonder why they are unhappy. They turn to addictive behavior since they cannot function in any profitable manner. Individuals who complain constantly who find unhappiness wherever they turn clearly demonstrate the fact that they have isolated themselves from the community that they are in. Addiction to unhappiness of feeling poorly becomes rampant when you look through narrowed eyes because your conscious mind has been focused solely on a narrow beam of thought. You refuse to allow your conscious mind to function adequately. You prevent information from inner frameworks to come thorough to counterbalance your narrow point of view. Physical plane loneliness is a byproduct of fear. In reality of course, you can never be truly alone. When you narrow your view, when you close off your hearing, when you restrict your speech individuals then wonder why things or events do not have flavor. The food of life, the experience of the physical plane becomes bland, tasteless if you will.
One must then look to higher realms for a difference in understanding. Each individual soul when you have been created from The All That Is embarks upon a journey. Physical plane gives you experience, yet on higher realms it is impossible for you to be alone. First, you are obviously part of The All There Is and second, since the “All There That Is” is and there is no place, no dimension that The All There Is does not exist in, it therefore becomes impossible for you (the individual soul) to ever be alone. Your classroom or home is filled with students, teachers, guides, masters who never judge but only instruct. It is not a moment that you could imagine when you are truly alone. Therefore, the difficulties that you believe you have here are due to the erroneous belief that you can isolate yourself, first from yourself and second from everything else. A note here, there are many instances where an individual soul chooses to study by themselves but that does not mean that they are alone or isolated. What you have on the physical plane is the idea that I can truly not exist alone, and you cannot. You cannot exist alone! The belief is that you can.
When you are feeling worthless or unloved you delude yourself by cutting off communication from yourself and this action causes great dis-ease. Again, you can never be truly alone but you can make yourself lonely. When you do not feel loved you are making yourself feel lonely.
The next idea, and it is a complicated one to say the least is the idea of identicals. I have made reference to them in the past and we will see if we can put some of this into a perspective that you can understand. When an identical is created there is one individual that starts. Yet this one individual as in the sense of human procreation splits but there is still a connection therefore from one there were two.
Jasmine… You’re talking about souls?
Seth… Correct. Yet there is one. These individuals go through many higher realms until they find themselves as one again. To make this even more delicate, let us assume you have an identical part A and part B since they are an identical, half of A is always in half of B yet half of B is always half of A. These individuals most commonly do not incarnate together. Since they are always in communication one to the other, they can never be alone. What one knows instinctively the other one knows. If they do not incarnate at the same reference points the one who is not incarnated always gives information to the one that is incarnated. They are always in direct communication one to the other. When they incarnate, one may incarnate for example in London, the other one may incarnate in Bangladesh.
Jasmine… But at different times.
Seth… Even at the same time.
Jasmine… Oh.
Seth… When they choose to incarnate together their learning is vastly different than yours. Their problems and their eyesight internal and external is vastly different than yours since it becomes impossible for them to shut down because you cannot cut off half of yourself. These individuals and there a number of them always choose to work together and they do this, they span time. One would be born a number of years ahead of the other. You may call them delayed identicals if you will. Yet their isolationism is at times a detriment to their growth and development because they isolate themselves from the rest since they do not require or believe that they need others. Therefore, it is quite difficult for them to understand what others are not since they always are. To sum up here, you have three levels that one must deal with, the first being the physical plane individual who must come to realize that they can never be alone since they are always part of The All That Is. They always have direct communication with their higher selves, spiritual guides, teachers and friends. When an individual feels lonely or abandoned they have isolated themselves and stopped communication first with their conscious mind and only allows that conscious mind to see out and not deal with information from within. And not deal with information from within. (Seth repeated the last phrase to emphasize it.) On spiritual planes it is obvious now that you cannot be alone. So, if you feel alone on the physical plane one must meditate, one must re-contact if you will yourself. You must open your conscious mind to allow information to pass from higher realms into the physical plane where you currently reside.
And lastly identicals, these individuals must learn not to isolate themselves either on the physical plane or in higher realms since the idea from one there were two, plays an important factor in their existence. Try to imagine if you will that half of you is gone but the other half is still there but resides in someone else. It is at best a difficult lesson to learn.
Jasmine… Half of you is gone but…
Seth… exists in some… and half of you exists in someone else.
These individuals must learn to communicate with others. They commonly practice incarnations alone. The more difficult pairs routinely incarnate together for support.
Before we take our break, write this down in capital letters: YOU CANNOT BE ALONE BUT YOU MAY CHOOSE TO MAKE YOURSELF LONELY. We shall take a break.
(It was 9:13 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: I believe that I have given you enough information, at least this evening, so that we may then turn to the idea that it should have stimulated some of your questions. Therefore, are there any questions?
Isabella… (Laughing.) I have a question. I don’t really want to but I have one. You told me once about a soul that I had a connection with in collage and I’m almost positive that you used the word identical with him because he and I…
Seth… Absolutely not, you are not an identical.
Isabella… So, what did you say?
Seth… I said you were like a twin.
Isabella… So, what does that mean?
Seth… In other words…
Isabella… What’s the difference there?
Seth… Think of bar codes if you will. That they are not perfect…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… but they are close.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… That’s what it is.
Isabella… So, were he and I created at the same time?
Seth… You were created around the same time, so your tendency is to feel a connection there.
Isabella… Not that I’ve seen him in the last ten years.
Seth… It matters not.
Isabella… Okay so…
Seth… That’s what it is.
Isabella… But you don’t have, you don’t have…
Seth… For example, there are people who are twins who again were created around the same time so their viewpoints, their actions, the way of looking at things would be very, very similar. They are as best as I can tell you in the same classroom if you would use that as an idea.
Isabella… So, when I move on to a higher realm would I match up with him in the same classroom or his soul whoever that is in the same classroom.
Seth… You would probably; you would probably be in fairly close connection with that individual.
Any other questions?
Frank… Yeah, in a similar vein the question about me and Zachary (Frank’s son.) being very similar is that also…
Seth… Well, remember when you are in a soul family per say not that it is, when you are in a soul family per say not that it is always the case because you can move from one soul family to another, and you commonly do. It just depending upon what your interests are therefore in most common soul families you are all approximately the of the same soul age. You are dealing with similar types of situations, for example it would be foolhardy to believe that an infant soul would be connectable to a mature soul since their outlook is vastly different. You understand?
Frank… Yeah, there are lots of similarities between soul family members.
Seth… Yes, and therefore you will be more or less (similar. Frank was talking at the same time in agreement.)
.
George… What would determine if you are part of a soul family?
Seth… It’s what you are. It is not determined. It’s for example you have a physical plane family on earth.
George… Right.
Seth… Before you were incarnated you and your guides, teachers selected your parents, your brothers, your sisters, your aunts, your uncles because the realm of experience that you chose to get and give would be compatible with some of these people for whatever line of study you were on whether it be positive, negative or anything in between… Therefore, when you are in a soul family you are all approximately the same age. You have similar interests and your discussions from a moment-to-moment basis concern those interests. Do you understand?
George… So would I be considered part of this soul family because I’m here in (not clear but the question is whether George is part of the soul family of those who attend these Seth sessions.)
Seth… It would, first of all I will not answer the question because it would serve no useful purpose for you. However, or anybody else for that matter, but if you become very interested in this series of lectures it becomes obvious after a while that in the larger sense possible of course you must become a soul member of the family because otherwise you wouldn’t stay interested. (George was relatively new to sessions in 2008 but has attended sessions on a fairly regular basis up to the time of this typing in January of 2014) Does that make sense to you?
George… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… Well, you don’t necessarily have to be part of the soul family of your physical plane family, correct?
Seth… No, you do not.
Isabella… Like, Mom, Jasmine is not part of her physical plane family, well not me…
Seth… I will not answer that question, move along.
Frank… I am curious as to how others would react to one of the identicals like if you are married to one do they have a very hard time with that, they don’t even know?
Seth… Most commonly most identicals keep that hidden from the one who is incarnated.
Frank… The other one who is not incarnated…
Seth… Who is not incarnated…
Frank… just gives them information. They don’t know, they don’t even know on the physical plane they are that. (An identical.)
Seth… They would tend to have very good psychic abilities for very obvious reasons.
Jasmine… But what about their communication skills in terms of others?
Seth… At times it can be quite lacking, especially in infant and baby souls. As they progress to young and mature souls their communication skills work…
Jasmine… better
Seth… better for them. So, by the time a soul, an identical becomes, arbitrarily here, a mature soul that they pass the level three mature soul age their communication skills are excellent.
Jasmine… With others?
Seth… Yes, in the beginning they certainly were not.
Jasmine… Yes, because that was part of the whole thing that they are not…
Seth… They tend to be isolationists. That also goes by the way with the idea of communities and countries too. For if you look for example at countries, many of them tend to be isolationist. They tend towards that and that is due to a lack of communication.
Jasmine… Yes.
Frank… And…
Seth… Hold it (microphone) close so you can speak and be heard.
Frank… And just in general the idea about knowing about identicals is so that we can then better know about…
Seth… Whether it’s, whether it is better to know about yourself or whether it is better to know anything, there is a need at times for information and the information you have to learn to compare and contrast. You have to learn to understand that information itself gives you knowledge and experience. And since it gives you knowledge and experience how you then use that information, how you capture it if you will and make it become part of you is something you know that you have to discern for yourself. I give information because without it the lecture would not have been complete.
Frank… In terms of this… if identicals being a rarity during our course do we ever come across one that…
Seth… I am sure you have.
Frank… So, one out of a thousand?
Seth… It matters not; one out of hundred thousand, one out of hundred million, one out of two it matters not. And if you met one what difference would it make?
Frank… I’m just trying to put it into a context of something.
Seth… Of what? Of walking into a tree?
Frank… (Was mumbling.)
Seth… No, you are not an identical if that’s the question.
Frank… I know I am not… one.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… We talked about when you love being alone and not be alone that concept?
Seth… Yes, you may be lonely, but you are not alone.
George… Your area is filled with all these students and teachers and guides so then, I still want to talk about when you’re feeling alone you are not alone, you delude yourself by cutting off your engagement with yourself.
Seth… Correct.
George… Well, how do you, how does someone go about re-establishing communication with yourself and all these other people around you?
Seth… Do you remember the exercise I gave you a few weeks ago?
George… Yeah.
Seth… How often have you done it?
George… Not as often as you wanted me to. (Isabella giggled.)
Seth… One of the things that you must do is learn your own inner rhythms. Your sounds, your inner voices and if you just sit there and allow things to play themselves out you will then get a feeling for who and what you truly are. And by allowing yourself to open you will gather information that heretofore you did not have access to.
George… So, am I doing it wrong? I tried to do at the opportunities where…
Seth… All you have to do is to sit quietly and do not focus, do not think you’re meditating and whatever sounds, feelings, thoughts pass you by do not follow them but just allow them to be and you will hear an inner body rhythm and that is the fact that you are connecting at that portion to your higher self. And you will have information that will spontaneously come to you. It is not a question of doing it correctly or incorrectly. It is a simple question of doing. Remember, do you remember when you first drove a car? Remember how you used to think about, foot on the gas, foot on the brake, turn your hands, look in the mirror, look at the speedometer? All things have to be repeatable to you. Do you do that now? Do you think the same way when you drive?
George… No.
Seth… Or does it become part of you so that it is instinct if you will.
George… It becomes, it becomes instinctual but there’s a lot of times I’m during the course of my day I’ll try and stop and like…
Seth… No, we are only talking about driving now.
George… Okay, yes.
Seth… So, it does become instinctual so the exercise that I am giving you is to make you become instinctual about finding yourself. And when you find yourself, you will note that you are much more content. And you are much more content because you have allowed yourself the luxury of going ahead and feeling you. One of the things people who tend to be negative or isolationists about is that they put themselves at a distance from themselves and they constantly do this. Le Chang is a perfect example of this. (Le Chang is Jerry’s friend and has been to several sessions. He has had many lives and often chooses to learn from negativity. Seth has used him as an example a number of times.)
Also, as an aside in a little bit of housekeeping work, Jasmine, it is obvious at least to me that you also need to do some reading. Please get finished with the book The Secret as quickly as you possibly can and then you are also required to read The Nature of Personal Reality. You will note that the portions of the book that the man through whom I speak gave you were directly pertinent to you.
Jasmine… Yeah, I have been reading it.
Seth… And again, when you read this book, I would suggest that you get your own copy. I would suggest that you underline. I would suggest that you take notes, and I would suggest that you do not try to read the book in terms of seventy-five pages at a time. Read three, five pages and digest it. Make it become part of you and you will see that in doing this your existence will change, should you allow it to do so. To our friend Frank, you may not. (Frank laughs.)
Let us move along, are there any other questions?
Isabella… I have a question. I am curious about the Rachel soul that is around all the time. That’s a name I, that I get constantly when I am meditating. I’m just curious if that is a spiritual guide, a twin soul…
Seth… Have you ever spoken to Rachel herself?
Isabella… Part of me thinks it is me, that it’s my higher self is Rachel. It’s not?
Seth… No. Therefore, your work that has to be done is to speak to Rachel yourself.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Yeah, I just wanted, at the break I was just wondering about the idea of if you feel alone or lonely, the idea of meditating because you know you had mentioned on higher realms (that) you always have the understanding that you are never alone. Would that be automatically a way for a person to get back in touch with that idea?
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… That that is what you are saying.
Seth… The idea is to communicate. Write that down. The idea of not being alone is to communicate. And who is the most important person you must learn to routinely communicate with? The answer is of course, self! So, when you are feeling alone you must first get into contact with yourself. Since you can never be alone you are only reacting to loneliness because you have isolated yourself. Do you see the difference Kaetorina?
Jasmine… So, if you are feeling lonely you are saying to meditate?
Seth… Absolutely.
Are there any other questions?
Arthur… The loneliness I felt at the Smith’s, what was I supposed to be learning there? I…
Seth… What loneliness did you feel?
Arthur… That in the ceremony that was going on, the retirement ceremony when I went to sit in the family slot, there was no seat for me.
Seth… Were you not then isolated?
Arthur… I felt isolated.
Seth… Were you? Of course! Did you ask why is there not seat for me?
Arthur… No, Jim came to me right after the ceremony and noticed it and apologized to me and said he’d forgotten. So, I had no…
Seth… Of course, you did. Did you stand up for yourself and say, I want you to understand even though you forgot this is how I felt?
Arthur… No, I didn’t.
Seth… Why not?
Arthur… Because it was in the middle of his retirement ceremony. (Arthur was giggling.)
Seth… No that is not an excuse. That is an excuse for you to allow you to feel badly.
Arthur… I had another piece that was also holding me back and that is that I felt humiliated in front of his sister.
Seth… Better that you should feel humiliated in front of his sister than stand up for yourself, that is what you told me. Now, if you were your patient and someone said that to you what would you say?
Arthur… I’d probably would…
Seth… What question would you ask?
Arthur… What did you do to promote self…
Seth… Yeah, what did you do?
Arthur… in that situation?
Seth… The answer is?
Arthur… I…
Seth… Did nothing.
Arthur… grieved. I went to the reception and made sure that I spoke with people. I made an effort.
Seth… You did nothing at that point because you did not correct the injustice that was done. So therefore, you were isolated. You didn’t correct the injustice. Notice the story and I told it for this reason about the man through whom I speak and what he did to correct the injustice that was done to him, and I believe that he felt better.
Arthur… Alright, but then I could have gone to Jim afterwards.
Seth… And you still haven’t.
Arthur… No.
Seth… Why not?
Arthur… I thought it was over. (Giggled.)
Seth… Is it? Obviously, you feel badly. I believe you have your own answer.
Are there any other questions?
George… I have a question along that same line?
Seth… Okay.
George… I’m curious, do you think it would be profitable for me to confront my boss because of all the sort of angst that I am having at work as a result of what happened with the whole residency situation in terms of how I feel? I feel abandoned and not looked after and I feel that the people I work with that I ended up bargaining with, like would I have anything to gain by confronting people about that?
Seth… What do you think?
George… I think no.
Seth… Why not?
George… Because I think in the end it may come back to…
Seth… How… it depends upon how you do it. Is that not factual?
George… With these people I don’t know.
Seth… It is not a question of that. It’s a question of I want you to understand that I appreciate all that you have done for me in the past and hopefully will still do for me, however, I am feeling abandoned now. What would they say to that?
George… Ha, tough shit! (Chuckles.)
Seth… Isn’t it better to know that someone cannot be counted on? Do you understand what I am saying?
George… Yes.
Seth… Are…
Frank… There seems to be something very important about stating it. That that is part of correcting even if they don’t respond that seems to be very important to the individual.
Seth… Who is the person who matters most?
Frank… Self.
Seth… And if you allow someone to slap you, what are you telling yourself?
Frank… That you are not worthwhile.
Seth… Correct. Is that what you are doing? (To George) Shaking your head yes. Okay, I believe we now have a solution to that.
Any other questions?
Arthur… Yeah, I have a few, sorry. (Arthur laughing perhaps directed at Isabella who was to type the session.) In a way there was a sense that this was my own doing, in the sense that I you know this notion of impure motives. I wanted to triumph over his sister and my sister-in-law and it’s almost as though that it’s like a pride goeth before a fall or something that, that I, I was humbled by that. I was also angry by that, so wasn’t I really making a victim of myself? This man apologized to me. He recognized what he had done wrong, and he said he was sorry. Did I require more than that? And is…
Seth… Do you?
Arthur… I don’t know.
Seth… If you don’t know then who should find out?
Arthur… I should.
Seth… You’ve answered your question.
Arthur… But what about this notion of this being of my own doing because I was having these competitive feelings with her?
Seth… Did you set up the seating?
Arthur… No, no.
Seth… You had nothing to do with the seating, did you?
Arthur… No, I had nothing to do with…
Seth… There is no competitiveness there at all.
Arthur… But I went there with a feeling of competitiveness. I stayed in the house; I was invited to the house, she was staying in a hotel.
Seth… One thing has nothing to do with the other.
Arthur… It was she that I felt humiliated in front of.
Seth… I understand, that’s still nothing to do with anything. What your feelings were are obvious because you did not set up the seating.
Isabella… Just a quick aside about typing up this session; do I have to type up questions that are completely unrelated to session?
Seth… Absolutely. Every word, every phrase, every comma, every period including that sentence will be on your transcript. (Stephanie laughs.) I hate you; that will also be on the transcripts said by Isabella. (Note, Frank typed this session almost six years later in January of 2014.)
Are there any other questions? (Long pause, it seemed that Stephanie had something else to ask but decided against it.) Nothing else?
Let me leave you with this: Since you can never be alone on any level, guard against the possibility of loneliness because you isolate yourself. And when you isolate yourself, your wants magnify, and your needs are unfulfilled. Meditate, open yourself up. Face yourself back at the center point knowing full well that you always are part of something greater. I bid you all a very fond good evening.
Information on Value Fulfillment and Discussion on Some of the Group’s Lessons
Tuesday May 18, 2008
8:25 P.M.
(This session has no formal lecture but there are a number of issues those at the table were grappling with that the reader may relate to which then gets tied to the very important concept of Value Fulfillment. There is also Seth’s interesting allusion to why he teaches. Also please note that there is no Session 364.)
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have you here again. We shall do a little bit of housekeeping here. First of all, Isabella I am glad you decided to have the man through whom I speak set up your typing because you know by next Tuesday, what has to go on?
Arthur, how are you doing this week?
Arthur… Somewhat better but still not sure that I’m doing the right thing.
Seth… Would you care to elucidate me?
Arthur… When my sister, I couldn’t bear, I could barely bear if she was walking eight miles to sleep in a storage unit. When she, I didn’t try and rescue her and at some point, she called back and said that her car had been found. And I saw that as sort of something maybe she created by changing her attitude…
Seth… Go ahead.
Arthur… Then we worked on getting, I talked her through the weekend instead of giving her anything (money) and that part was good. Then what I am not sure about is when her car needed towing, I asked her at one point if she wanted me to be of assistance in terms of putting it on a credit card and it turned out that they wouldn’t take a credit card and I sent her cash. The exact amount of cash but I don’t know if that was helpful or not helpful. She could do what she wishes with cash.
Seth… Well, that is the difficulty, does she have her car?
Arthur… She is getting her car tomorrow, I think.
Seth… Then obviously she used the money to get her car because they wouldn’t have towed it otherwise.
Arthur… Well, no, it was towed into the yard. To pick it up from the yard she had to pay storage fees and so on.
Seth… That’s the point.
Arthur… It will show itself what she has done.
Seth… That is correct. But we are not dealing with your sister, we are dealing with you and what you did or don’t do are just value judgments which make little or no difference to anyone and so the answer here is quite simple. When I ask you, how are you doing? Your answer should have been horribly because you are not doing well.
Arthur… I’m doing better than I was.
Seth… Because you are just delaying that which you are not comfortable with. Notice that your statements to me were, “I don’t know if this did any good. I don’t know if I did the right thing.” What does it matter whether you did the right thing or not? We are dealing with you here and what we are dealing with is the simple idea of how one individual deals with other individuals. Eventually we will come to that in somewhat of a little longer session in terms of tonight’s lecture. But the idea here is that you are isolating yourself in terms of your own feelings and emotions. “I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. I don’t know if I am doing the wrong thing etcetera, etcetera.” So, this is a great bit of difficulty here for you because it doesn’t serve you. It becomes nonprofitable. Do you understand?
Arthur… How am I… isolating myself?
Seth… You’re isolating yourself from you.
Arthur… From me?
Seth… In other words, if you are having difficulty doing anything and what you do is you put up walls and barriers. “Did I do the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing? Am I making a correct choice? Am I hurting my sister? Am I not hurting my sister?”
All this information you box into yourself, you become isolated, your viewpoints become narrow. Do you understand?
Arthur… I think so.
Seth… Our friend Frank, do you see how this applies to you?
Frank… Do.
Seth… So again, under housekeeping here, you can hand Frank (the microphone) he is capable of holding it for himself. Do you understand that you tend to do the same thing? You A) over analyze, you will close your eyes and then try to find a way out of a precarious situation by dragging yourself deeper into the situation. And therefore, when all of a sudden you walk headlong into a tree, trip, fall, roll down a hill, standup, keep your eyes closed and walk off the edge of a cliff, you say,” I don’t know why I’m not feeling better about these things!” Do you understand?
Frank… I do but I asked for help.
Seth… We’re not questioning that you did ask for help and certainly, give us a moment, the man through whom I speak was of some assistance to you. The difference here…
Betty… How do you get yourself out of something…
Seth… We’ll come to you in a minute. The difficulty here is the idea that when you asked for help you had already placed yourself in a precarious position and instead of when you found yourself shutting your eyes walking into trees you didn’t stop immediately and say wait a minute there is something wrong.
One of the great trust issues that Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak deal with is the idea of when to trust each other to say, “I think I am in trouble.” Now their typical habits here (is to) go ahead willy-nilly and walk around and they don’t trust themselves and they don’t trust anybody else and the next thing that you know is that they are both miserable, unhappy and then they finally ask for a little bit of advice or assistance and my comments to them are, “Why did you go this far?” And their answer is “I thought I could do it myself. I had to have trust in myself.” It is all well and good to have trust in yourself.
Frank… That’s what I thought too.
Seth… I know; why do you think I stated it? Therefore, the trust in self issue in this instance is to trust yourself to know that you are getting yourself into trouble… Go ahead.
Frank… The issue with me is not so much that I got into trouble with the woman… (Frank had a conflict with a tenant.)
Seth… It was with yourself.
Frank… But it was what I did to myself afterwards and allowing it to go… a day.
Seth… Say hello to Arthur.
Frank… Hello Arthur. (Laughs.)
Seth… Say hello to Betty.
Frank… Hello Betty. (Laughs.)
Betty… (On the phone.) Hi Frank.
Seth… It’s the same principle. Would you like (to Stephanie) to say hello, too? (Stephanie laughs)
Isabella… I’m surprised I don’t have to say hello. (Isabella laughs.)
Seth… You would just prefer to make everyone else miserable.
Frank… I understand but I honestly did feel that like, “I know this, I’m going to town with this, I go to let go” and on and on.
Seth… When you got finally so desperately wet after falling off a cliff into the water.
Frank… Then I asked for help.
Seth… My question is why did you let it go that far? (Seth paused) Because… I thought…
Frank… I thought I could do it.
Seth… Could do it myself, a horrible sentence. I suggest you learn to exit that sentence from your vocabulary and one of the things you are going to find as a, I’ll put quotes around this for the three of you who are in the room; “therapist” is that you allow your patients this latitude. When they say, “Well I thought I could do this,” it is not in the question of doing or not doing it is why did you go this far with it?
Frank… Yeah, I agree. It’s just a couple of years ago there would have been no call, and I would have been here sitting here miserable for five days instead of maybe the two days.
Seth… We’re not questioning that.
Frank… And…
Seth… I’m asking the simplest of questions, let’s ask an expert. Let’s ask an expert (Frank pointed at Jasmine) Jasmine? (Everyone laughs.)
Frank… Did you know I pointed at you before he said your name?
Isabella… That was funny. (Laughter still.)
Seth… That is a cosmopolitan sense of humor that you are hearing there. I’m not forgetting about you Betty.
Jasmine… Am I supposed to answer a question now?
Seth… Yes.
Jasmine… I’m sorry, what was the question?
Seth… Our friend, Frank?
Frank… What should I have done… differently?
Seth… Asked for help much sooner.
Frank… How would I know when is enough, in terms of…
Jasmine… Attempts on your own?
Frank… One maybe initially, yes how do you know when it’s enough? How do you know when enough is enough and then you reach out for help? I don’t actually believe that initially (you should reach out for help.)
Jasmine… When I am in a panic, or I am crying (Jasmine laughs) I know it’s time for help.
Seth… That is…
Jasmine… When I can’t sleep and I’m up all night long.
Seth… that is a problem that you have as well, why do you allow it to go as far as you do without asking for assistance? Now the answer is going to be obvious but distasteful to all of you and that answer is because I enjoy it. Each of you enjoys your own dis-ease as you establish the route before you ask for help. Do you understand? Betty, do you understand that? You are guilty as anyone else.
Frank… So, for me…
Seth… Betty said, “Yes.”
Frank… it’s enjoying the analyzing.
Seth… Oh!
Frank… That’s what I enjoy. I don’t enjoy the pain…
Seth… Sure, you do.
Frank… No! I do not!
Jasmine… We all enjoy the dis-ease.
Frank… Right.
Seth… The dis-ease…
Jasmine… Not the analyzing.
Isabella… It’s not the actual dis-ease it’s the attention you get from the dis-ease.
Seth… Who gives you the attention? (People were talking at the same time.)
The people around you? The people who enjoy when you are miserable?
Isabella… I always struggle with this.
Seth… Say that again Betty, please.
Betty… How would you differentiate… if the topic is change then we are all trying to change something and what is confusing to me at this stage is how to differentiate the dis-ease of what was and the discomfort in making an effort to move forward. And that’s where I believe I get tripped up because then the tendency is to kind of at least go back to the old one and I honestly cannot always tell the difference. Am I making sense?
Seth… Let me put it to you this way, here’s a simple answer for you: Dis-ease and pain, discomfort are from a situation that you are already dealing with. Do you understand that?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Now since you are already dealing with that, you then have to understand that the idea of change itself must be prevalent. In other words, you cannot be static and progress, do you understand that?
Betty… Yeah, that’s where I am getting confused.
Seth… Now, what you are stating and confusing the idea that change must be “painful” and put painful there in quotation marks, change is. Just because you make a change does not mean that you have to like it, but you find it necessary to do something else or make it different. Do you understand?
Betty… Right, yes exactly.
Seth… Now, so you are having pain or dis-ease in situations that you are now in. You find me there; do you see where I am going?
Betty… Yeah but, okay.
Seth… Now, once you are there, the change you choose to make, getting rid of an old boyfriend, changing a job, asking for a raise, do you understand all this so far?
Betty… Yeah, but then some areas I’ve made changes in, and I am equally if not more miserable and then one runs into the next.
Seth… I understand but just because you made a change as I stated earlier does not mean that you have to like it. It just means that it is different and if it doesn’t show promise you re-change what you just did and you move on to something completely different. Do you understand so far?
Betty… I do but at what point are you basically changing the outside when it is inside, this is where I am confused.
Seth… The outside world or the inside you?
Betty… My job is like its crazy, but everything is kind of crazy here and well this plays out with my relationships with other people as well. So then, now I have an opportunity to move to another place that’s not crazy. Then I’m caught up in the guilt of abandoning all these poor people who have no services in order to possibly do what is good for me and this plays out…
Seth… (Said simultaneously.) Who is the… Excuse me, who is the most important person you know?
Betty… as well. Here I am again abandoning someone who is in need.
Seth… No. Who is the most important person you know?
Betty… I am but how do I get past the guilt?
Seth… Well, the guilt is because you erroneously believe that they matter more than you!
Isabella… Who is she really abandoning?
Seth… Do you understand?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… And what Isabella said was who are you truly abandoning? Well, you have already abandoned yourself.
Betty… Right.
Seth… So, unless you can tolerate that which obvious you can’t nor should you. Then of course you say, “I understand,” because the answer is simple. Is anyone or anything on the physical plane irreplaceable?
Betty… No.
Seth… Therefore, they will hire somebody else to do what you did. So, the first person who truly matters is of course you. Do you understand?
Betty… I do but I guess there is change and then there is I guess what is sometimes done is a geographical cure. So, I can once again make all these changes and you know I’m thinking here I’ve moved states etc. and still can’t find a comfort in myself.
Seth… Well, that’s because you are isolating yourself from you. You feel guilty about what you’re doing. You don’t go ahead and view the idea of change as being profitable. You view the idea of change as being part of the dis-ease. And that what you are doing of course is giving yourself a greater problem.
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… So, it is not a question of the inside or outside. You first deal with self. Do you understand?
Betty… Intellectually and…
Seth… I understand this is an intellectual idea but that is not the issue. So, I believe, in the long run, what you must do is to go ahead and to be faithful to you. Someone can always tell you that they need you and you are so important but if you are not faithful to yourself does it matter what anyone says?
Betty… No.
Seth… I believe you have your answer there.
Stephanie… Are you connecting the idea of liking or enjoying the pain to why I wouldn’t seek assistance earlier?
Seth… Of course. Individuals themselves and whether we get to the lecture tonight is immaterial. Individuals themselves have a tendency to delude and dilute the information that they give themselves. They delude themselves by isolating themselves, first from themselves and then from everyone else where of course in reality this is not possible.
Stephanie… You mean minimizing what’s really going on?
Seth… Or make it greater, it does not matter whether it is larger or smaller; so, people blow out of proportion, but they are so isolated, look at what is happening to me! Whether it is major or minor matters not. So, they delude themselves first then what do they do with the delusion? Well, no one of somewhat sound mind will say to themselves, “This pain is wonderful. (Stephanie is laughing.) I enjoy it,” except probably our friend Frank.
Frank… That is not true.
Seth… Now he then goes ahead and says, “I can not stand this” so you then dilute what you do by making a camouflage system around what you are doing. You give excuses for.
Stephanie… For not getting help?
Seth… For not getting help.
Stephanie… What are the excuses?
Seth… The excuses are simple, I’m busy, I can handle it myself, I want to see if the other person will come around, I understand what is going on, but nothing can be done, and they become more and more miserable in terms of that which they are accomplishing and or understanding. Go ahead Isabella; I knew it was too soon.
Isabella… I just feel like I do the opposite, I feel like I ask for help too soon and I don’t…
Seth… Different story, you are not dealing with the same thing here. When someone who is in your situation says, “Help me, do for me,” it is because they don’t have confidence in themselves to try and do it for themselves.
Isabella… Right, that is what I am saying.
Seth… We are not talking about this; we are saying that people who know that they are in trouble.
Isabella… Oh, so if I knew I was in trouble, I would always ask for help when I was in trouble!
Seth… There are times when you don’t, and you let things fester and you get angry. One of the classic examples of this is living within a community and if you will interpret what I’ve stated this evening in terms of why I state, it is much harder for you to expand your knowledge by living in a community then living alone you will understand tonight’s statements a lot better.
Isabella… About being comfortable being unhappy?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Because I just kind of let things go?
Seth… You become too lackadaisical at times, and you then constantly go ahead and look for others to assist you too quickly.
Isabella… I really honestly have not been doing that and in fact I feel that I’ve been working very hard.
Seth… Don’t confuse hard work with a major change.
Isabella… No, I understand what you are saying but I just feel like; I do feel like I have made major change.
Seth… Nobody says… you see this is a defense mechanism on your part.
Isabella… I’m just confused because you’re saying that instead I’ll fester and I become lackadaisical and I expect others to do for me but in reality, that’s not really what’s happening here. I’m not really expecting my parents to do anything for me and in fact…
Seth… So, you don’t do for yourself enough, so therefore by working by omission…
Isabella… But can you give me an example of how I don’t do something enough for myself?
Seth… For example, give us a moment; you will for example let the towels accumulate in your room into far excesses to what Jasmine would like. Two…
Isabella… But none of those towels are their towels they are from my closet.
Seth… It matters not, it still matters not; it is a question of cleanliness and health. Number two in terms of cleanliness and health it is cleaning up after your animal. Number three…
Isabella… Which I am working on.
Seth… Why the defense here? I am not accusing you in a hostile angry manner. You asked me to give you examples.
Isabella… But I figured you would have known that that was something I already accepted and that I have been… that I am…
Seth… But in using what you have already done and are working towards as examples of letting things go…
Isabella… But I was looking for an example of something I don’t recognize all that…
Seth… I wouldn’t tell you. That would give you too much information that you don’t have.
Isabella… But I know… (Stephanie was trying to give her information and Seth held up his hand, Isabella giggled.)
Seth… We’re not questioning this at all, notice I gave her the hand. (Referring to times when Isabella has felt that she is the only one being quieted or stopped from talking.)
Isabella… I know.
Seth… So, what I am stating to you is that which you do not know I shall not tell you.
Isabella… I get what you are saying about that. I think what I am more confused about is the idea of enjoying dis-ease. I don’t really understand that.
Seth… Individuals who have repeatable patterns, the person who for example who constantly says, “I feel like a cigarette; I need my drugs.” These are people who enjoy their dis-ease.
Isabella… Okay, I can only relate to myself in that respect, I don’t like being unhappy and in fact at least consciously.
Seth… That… do not go any further, you just answered your own question.
Isabella… But that’s what I don’t get if I am consciously, when I am unhappy, I don’t feel right, I’m scared, I …
Seth… And when was the last time when you were unhappy…
Isabella… That I allowed myself to be unhappy?
Seth… Yes, which is most of the time. What you don’t do…
Isabella… I rail against being unhappy.
Seth… And you rail against everyone else in the neighborhood. Instead of saying for example to Jasmine, we are just using her as an example, we could say it for our friend Frank, Kaetorina, it doesn’t matter who, “I am unhappy. I am having dis-ease,” and they are going to say, “But why?”
Now that causes you to open your focus to look at the void you are creating so that you as an individual may proceed to promote yourself. Instead of boxing yourself off, you expand.
Isabella… I do feel like I do that though when I am having dis-ease.
Seth… You only do it when you become so angry and frustrated that you lash out and then people answer you back in a harsh tone and you lash out against that, not realizing the fact that you like our friend Frank have walked into about six hundred, seven hundred trees and have fallen off a cliff. When you know things are not correct…
Isabella… At the first inking of something being wrong…
Seth… State it! And that goes for everyone. And our therapists here must give that information on. Do you understand, Betty?
Betty… I missed the last part.
Seth… What I stated was at the first sign of dis-ease, being uncomfortable, state it! Do you understand, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Isabella… What if you don’t know what is bothering you?
Seth… It matters not. You now have made an open-ended statement to the universe, “I am not satisfied!”
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And therefore, once you make a statement that you are not satisfied you then open up lines of information and lines of study that you may draw upon to promote yourself. Go ahead.
Stephanie… Well, what if it is everyday?
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… So, what if it is just routine? You are going to do that every single time something bothers you?
Seth… It’s not Peter, Natalie, Bill, this or that.
Stephanie… Yeah, something will happen… (Stephanie giggles.)
Seth… It’s not Peter, Natalie, this or that. When you as an individual find that there is something that is repeatedly bothering you, you already know what the difficulty is because assuming that you have done it in the past to open yourself up and state, “This is bothering me.” Well let me ask you a simple question.
Stephanie… You mean it’s familiar?
Seth… Correct. When Peter has difficulties or Natalie has difficulties in school and you speak to your friends, you speak to the man through whom I speak, you go ahead and talk to another teacher you then have an ability to understand what’s going on as it is happening. What you are confusing here, what you are confusing here (Said emphatically.) is that a life itself is never always happy and that should be underlined. An incarnation does not only have happy moments. It has difficulties, it has sadness, it has something being uncomfortable as well as glorious and splendorous things that go on. So, you must learn judgment. Do you think that Peter’s OCD will cure itself tomorrow?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Therefore, he will bother you, will he not?
Stephanie… It will, yes.
Seth… So oft times things that are not in your realm of understanding or control are often repeatable because they are not part of your play, underline that because they are not part of your play (said slowly with emphasis.) Write that down. And since they are not part of your play… (Jasmine asked to have dictation (about what is repeatable) repeatedand the group did.)
As an example, here Jasmine, if I was to ask you to give me ten instances that your sister has put herself first and not cared about you, could you do it?
Jasmine… Sure.
Seth… Absolutely could. My question is simply this: are they bothersome to you? Be fair, now.
Jasmine… Yes, very much so.
Seth… Can you control them?
Jasmine… No, I cannot.
Seth… And since you cannot control them are they then understandable to you? Not likeable but understandable that she routinely places herself first.
Jasmine… Are they understandable to me?
Seth… Yes.
Jasmine… I guess so.
Seth… What do you mean you, “guess so” they either are, or they are not.
Jasmine… I guess yes, they are.
Seth… Of course, they are understandable; she feels that she is better than…
Isabella… That’s who she is.
Seth… And what she does. Now once you understand this, you do not have to like this, you do not have to enjoy this, what you have to do and all of you have to do is to go ahead and once you understand something that you do not like or enjoy learn to let it pass you by. Don’t participate with it.
Stephanie… But that’s doing nothing about it.
Seth… There are times that you can do nothing about it. There are times when you may choose to say something, “Why did you do this? Why did you do that? Why are you putting yourself first?” but my question to you is that going to stop the person from that repeatable behavior?
Stephanie… No, but that’s why you don’t seek assistance because it’s not your play, so you feel hopeless…
Seth… Of course, you do…
Stephanie… You can do nothing.
Seth… But that’s not the issue. The issue is when you are feeling miserable when her sister does something about this, do you fester for three, four, five, six weeks?
Stephanie… No
Seth… Do you work yourself up into a frenzy becoming afraid, fearful, have your stomach hurt, have yourself throw up routinely or do you go ahead and state, “I understand this, I don’t have to participate in this? That’s their play I am going to make statements that benefit me, and I don’t have to worry about somebody else.”
Stephanie… Right, but the seeking assistance would be talking to somebody else.
Seth… Immediately when it happens.
Stephanie… Even when you cannot control it.
Seth… You are never going to be able to control someone else in terms of what they do or do not do. Can you?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… How often are you able to control Natalie, okay when she decides, “I am tired I can’t work and I don’t want to learn, do it for me Mommy?”
Stephanie… No, I can’t control that.
Seth… No, you can’t. You can only say I am not doing it for you, then of course it’s up to her and that’s the same issue. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right, but every time something you feel bothers you is…
Seth… It depends, if it becomes so repeatable you understand it immediately even if you are bothered you can turn to somebody and state, “My sister did it again. Peter did it again; I really wish they could change. Well, what am I going to do?”
Stephanie… But how do you know it is not going to be diluting?
Seth… Because you are telling it to somebody else.
Stephanie… Okay, then it’s not yourself?
Seth… Not yourself, you are telling to somebody else.
Stephanie… If you are not telling it to somebody else?
Seth… If you are not telling it to somebody else, you are boxing yourself into a small little box that allows you no room for freedom.
Stephanie… Right, so the idea where my mother came on Monday and I, you know I feel very disconnected from her now because everything that has gone on so, you know she…
Seth… Let me ask you a question, give us a moment. Is Margret (Stephanie’s mother.) ever going to ever truly change?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Do you believe that she will continue on in certain types of flighty behavior, behavior that doesn’t seem to make sense to you?
Stephanie… Yeah, she’s always going to continue that.
Seth… She’s always going to continue that; well can you change it?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Will it bother you?
Stephanie… I’m sure it will.
Seth… Now once it bothers you, you can say, “I cannot believe how foolish my mother is.”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… “I can’t believe that she won’t stand up for herself. She looks for the easy way out.” That’s perfectly fine if you say it to somebody else but what you first do is you first go ahead put yourself in a little box, get angry, frustrated, bothered, annoyed, “Why won’t my mother protect me? Why won’t my mother help me? Why won’t? Why won’t? Why won’t?” And that is the void that you are starting to create instead of saying, “I love my mother, but she’s just nuts.”
You see the difference? And when you say that to yourself and you say, let me bother our friend Frank about this. I can’t belief, you know my mother this is what she did!”
It is the same instance here when the man through whom I speak knows that Shirley Sarah drinks. Can he stop her from drinking? The answer is of course: No!
Isabella… He thinks he can.
Seth… It’s not a question of that; it is a question of he can delay it, he can space it out, he can take away that which she had which is his choice. But the truth of the matter is that if he doesn’t do these things and something happens to her…
Isabella… Then he’ll feel bad.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Well, I guess in my situation with Mom or Jasmine… ah…
Seth… Why don’t you call her “her”?
Isabella… Her, I can’t obviously, I mean you and I talked about this today, Steph, about being able to accept people for who they are, and it is very interesting that you say the same thing about your mother and is kind of what I am saying about Mom, you know? It’s very hard to recognize your parent’s faults, I think, and to be able to accept…
Seth… Do you think it is easy for them to recognize your faults?
Isabella… Of course, no. I absolutely do not.
Seth… It does work in both directions; one must be cognizant of that.
Isabella… I obviously agree with that, but I think it is very hard to come to an acceptance place about that, I mean, do you…
Seth… Who do you have to accept first?
Isabella… Yourself.
Seth… And by your statement just then have you accepted yourself? … What was your statement?
Isabella… It’s hard to accept others? I was, what do you mean?
Seth… If you, for example, in your statement before do not allow for the fact that others, whoever the other is has their own play, their own agenda. And although you don’t like it, you see fault in them, by you’re getting angry and bothered you box yourself off. You are not accepting what is. So therefore, you victimize you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, when that happens, when it goes on because this is a hurtful thing to you, first of all you should tell another and second of all you then state to the person who is bothering you in a fair and just manner, “Why are you doing this to me?” Which is something you do not do.
Isabella… But what if it is not…
Seth… You become accusatory, you become argumentative, and you become angry. How does a person respond to you when you are angry? With what?
Isabella… Anger.
Seth… Does that serve a useful purpose?
Isabella… No. But what if it is not anger? No, what if it is not something that they are doing to me? What if it is just who they are?
Seth… It is the same thing because you are taking it as a personal thing.
Isabella… You know what I mean? No, it’s not taking it as a personal thing.
Seth… Of course, it is. If your mother for example tells you that your room is constantly messy or that you didn’t clean up after your animal…
Isabella… That’s not even what I am referring to. I am referring to…
Jasmine… She doesn’t like who I am.
Isabella… No, that is not what I am saying. You can interpret it that way all you want. There are things about someone’s character that you have a hard time accepting, for example I would have loved my mother to have been a strong role model for me and sometimes I feel she is not as strong and that upsets me greatly.
Seth… Whose problem is it?
Isabella… It’s my problem.
Seth… Correct. Can you change someone else?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Then since you cannot change someone else, since you do not have the ability to make them different unless you’re The All That There Is…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… and she /he will not, therefore what are you being upset about? You have to learn to accept individuals as they are. It would be nice if… It would be good if… but if the person can’t, for example could your brother run a mile now? Would you be angry at him now because he is not running a mile?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Therefore, since he cannot physically do something, you are putting the mental in a different category and that is not an honorable affair of you.
Isabella… You’re right I do see it differently, the mental capacity as opposed to the physical capacity, absolutely. Umm… yeah, I do definitely see that differently.
Seth… (Said softly to Frank) Good one, wasn’t it?
Frank… (Softly back) Yeah it was. (I find that most people view physical limitations very differently than mental limitations. We are not so forgiving of our own and other’s mental and emotional limitations. FN)
Isabella… Because… yeah, I do, I see it differently.
Seth… It’s something that you must learn to put a value judgment on.
Now our friend Frank when we eventually come back from break, I asked him and I will have him speak after the break of the idea of Value Fulfillment here and this will tie into what you had dealt with here with your question and I think that will be of immense help for you and in terms of the lecture this evening I believe that most of you got far more out of our discussion if you will, than a lecture. I’m not finished…
Isabella… But before you go, I am still having trouble with understanding the enjoyment of dis-ease?
Seth… I will cover that again and part of this is tied in with Value Fulfillment. Again, you do nothing repeatedly that you don’t find some self satisfaction in.
Isabella… Repeat!
Seth… You do nothing repeatedly that you do not find self satisfaction in. Notice that it doesn’t have to make you happy. An example of that is easily seen in Lee Chang.
Isabella… So why do you do it? That’s the question, that’s what I don’t get.
Seth… It is a learning experience and how you are choosing to learn something.
Frank… But what to do? I mean do you need to really get a better handle on what you are enjoying? So, you can say I don’t really enjoy this!
Isabella… Right.
Seth… It’s not a handle, that’s analyzing, stop.
Frank… Ach!!!
Seth… Stop. What I am simply saying is, write this down, big letters…
Frank… Big letters.
Seth… STOP ANALYZING TRY UNDERSTANDING. If you do something that is repeatable and you do it over and over again, you enjoy what you are doing for whatever reason you are doing it.
Isabella… Are we misinterpreting the word “enjoy”?
Jasmine… Absolutely.
Seth… No, enjoyment does not necessarily mean happy wonderful, but you are getting satisfaction from it.
Stephanie… Maybe you are getting attention because you…
Seth… Or you are enjoying…
Isabella… No, I don’t even think it’s the physical plane, are we talking more spiritually?
Seth… No, I am talking in general.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You do not have to…
Betty… You may be acting like a martyr. You’re getting, I guess, some sense of self esteem out of that.
Seth… You may get some of self esteem, you may not.
Betty… Or whatever. I mean, it seems like one of the more palatable defects.
Seth… Not the issue. I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Let us continue: this session itself should be mandatory reading for everyone and the reason I am stating this is quite simple. Each of you has vested interest in self yet when you come into conflict with others, you will notice how each of you put yourselves into some sort of little box and you wall yourself off and you become nonproductive, you become angry and frustrated, you blame the other and now there is a conflict between two people. One must be faithful to themselves first and since you cannot change another, if somebody does something that bothers you, state that it bothers you! It is also interesting to note that if you look back at the ten years or so I have been doing these lectures I have made more difficult comments to each of you than you could ever possibly imagine. Yet, some of you have been annoyed or bothered by my statements. However, you all come around and understand what I am saying eventually. So, I have no vested interest in whether you listen, ignore, partially listen or just forget about what I stated. And since I have no vested interest the question arises, why do I not have any interest at all and the answer is simple; because you will eventually whether this life or the next or next come to understand that I was correct. So, if somebody tells you something that is not to your liking ask yourself the following question: Does it have some validity in it? If it does you may act on it however you choose to do. For the person is only stating their wishes and since they are only stating their wishes you can do what you choose and that I believe is the answer to a great many of the discussions you had around the table this evening. And for our friend Frank you will type up this session before you do anything else and the reason for that is because you require it.
Frank… I understand.
Seth… Notice how happy you are.
Frank… Well, I don’t like the, you know, “you’ll understand at some point, if not this lifetime…”!
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Well, is it not factual?
Frank… It’s completely factual, I don’t care to, I don’t have to… like it.
Seth… I don’t care whether you like it or not if it is factual.
Frank… I’d like to understand it now.
Seth… Well, I believe you should analyze this and spend six or seven years and fall down another cliff. (There was some laughter.) And that is the truth whether you go ahead and accept it or not. It is not for me to like something or not like something. Let’s ask a simple question: is my line of a study better off creating something or better off lecturing students who are at times not appreciative and who are resentful at my words or have difficulty in understanding them or who are bored and tired and walk upstairs?
Jasmine… I didn’t walk upstairs.
Seth… I didn’t say you were.
Frank… Well obviously, it would be the latter as well otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.
Seth… No, I have given my word to individuals who you could not understand or know and is part of what I do in terms of you will excuse the expression, “spreading the wealth”. I told individuals that I am a very harsh task master. I do not allow things to slip by easily.
(Frank said something like Yeah, I step in them.)
You certainly have. There are other individuals who are in my position who are much more lenient. They have discussions with me, and I have discussions with them. We each have our own styles, yet all of our students eventually get there, and I believe you understand. Are there any questions?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… I believe Isabella you should sit down and listen.
Arthur… First a clarification when you were talking about to Jasmine the difference between her sister placing herself first, clearly is not equal to promoting self in the way that you said it. There is a difference between those two.
Seth… No, you promote yourself in a fair and just manner but when you place yourself ahead of somebody and you become more important than they are that is not a… (Both Isabella and Arthur spoke.) I can answer for myself ladies and gentleman. It is not a situation that gives anyone profit.
Arthur… Thank you. When I answered you earlier, I had also talked to, I called gamblers anonymous, I talked to my friend Laurie, I talked to my sister, I talked to my friend John. Is that not asking for help or is that not the opening the…
Seth… It is not a question of asking for help, it is an opening a line of communication because you are gathering information.
Arthur… It is?
Seth… It is, however, the person who must change their habits which has nothing to do with you, is your sister. Whether she chooses to live on the street, whether she becomes a bag lady, whether she becomes a prostitute, whether she becomes someone who is on heavy drugs, whether she ends up in a mental institution or someone kills her has nothing to do with you. You are not to become responsible for another’s actions because you can’t control them. Unless you are going to physically chain your sister into your home and only allow her freedom of movement when you are with her, what can you do? Therefore, all your actions must then focus upon self and have nothing to do with her in terms of how do I deal with the problem. It’s how you do it; it’s not how she does it which is the same thing that Isabella must learn. It is how she does it and has nothing to do with Jasmine. It is the same exact principle. Do you understand?
Arthur… Yes, I do.
Seth… Go ahead.
Arthur… When you told me once about my sister-in-law and to ask her how have I harmed you and I made such a big piece of dis-ease (Laughing) for myself and shingles, I am going to see my sister-in-law (Again laughing) this weekend for the first time and I just wondering about that experience…
Seth… Do you feel the necessity to ask the question?
Arthur… I don’t know.
Seth… Well, if you don’t know, if you don’t know.
Arthur… I don’t feel the necessity… I guess it depends on how she treats me; if she treats me as if I harmed her.
Seth… Well, isn’t that your answer?
Arthur… I guess. I’ll see.
Seth… Then why are you asking the question, you already know the answer.
Arthur… I know I want to know if there is something I should be alerted to. It just occurred to me I am walking…
Seth… I would suggest driving, you should be alert. Other than that, you know you have to determine for yourself what is going on.
Arthur… And it will be interesting.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… Could you help me out…
Seth… I thought I escaped.
Isabella… No, can you help me out with the umm, I apologize (To Frank because a question means more typing.)
Frank… For what? Oh, don’t worry about it, I’m just going to be typing, typing. It’s just a matter of what. (Frank had several tapes he took from Jerry to type.)
Isabella… I feel your pain. (Stephanie is laughing.) I am curious if you could help me understand why I went into a panic when I couldn’t hear from George. Because it was, I accept that it was completely irrational, but I really have not had that kind of fear, worry about somebody…
Seth… Whose behavior are you modeling yourself after? (Paused and then said slowly with emphasis.) Whose behavior are you…
Isabella… Jasmine.
Seth… Correct. What else do you want to know?
Isabella… But it was so… I couldn’t even control it.
Seth… So?
Isabella… That bothered me so much.
Seth… I understand but…
Isabella… I felt so out of control.
Seth… You were out of control.
Isabella… I was like completely in a panic.
Seth… Let me ask you a question.
Isabella… For no reason.
Seth… Not the issue, when you go out of control, whether it be about worrying about someone else, a spoon, cleaning up after yourself, an animal, empting a dish washer, getting a newspaper in, making coffee, it doesn’t matter what the situation is. Learning to live within a community, it does not matter. When you are out of control who should I feel sorry for? The people who you victimize…
Isabella… Me
Seth… Of course, I feel sorry for you because you are not in control, however when you recognize that you are not in control and then do nothing.
Isabella… I tried to do something tonight. I went for help.
Seth… We’re not questioning that.
Isabella… But my question is why did I go to that place, why did I go there?
Seth… Because you role play at times. You are attempting to change yourself and one of the things that you will come to learn as times pass is that there are certain behaviors you can adopt, certain behaviors you will discard…
Isabella… I can’t do this, that behavior I can’t have.
Seth… Then you won’t do it again. You learn at times by participating in a negative line of study. To me it would be more profitable if you observed it and didn’t participate in it. So, you participated in it at this point.
Isabella… It was almost like…
Seth… An overwhelmingly fear that you wanted to get nauseous and throw up.
Isabella… But it was so…
Seth… It was real.
Isabella… I couldn’t…
Seth… Why are you criticizing what you did when you can have an ability to learn from it? Please explain that to me?
Isabella… Because it was so irrational.
Seth… So, what! Do you have to be rational always?
Isabella… No, but number one, I don’t even know why I was worrying about him that much?
Seth… Because it matters not; it’s not the issue.
Isabella… I don’t like feeling that way. I don’t like feeling that worried about something.
Seth… Excuse me, you have done this routinely.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Whether it be with your husband, whether it be with George in this instance, whether it be about cleaning up a spoon, your tendency is to go overboard.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… So, when you learn this behavior is not profitable, when anyone learns that a behavior is not profitable, (Seth tapped at Stephanie’s notebook indicating to write.) when anybody learns their behavior is not profitable, that’s three times writing that, you will then have an ability to ask yourself the question: Since it is not profitable why am I repeating it?
Isabella… I feel like with the situations with the household and the cleaning and that kind of stuff, I have more control over my reactions.
Seth… What have you just learned? You’ve just given yourself the answer but now the question is? Can you figure it out?
Isabella… That I have control?
Seth… I’m not going to help you.
Isabella… No, I understand what you’re saying but in this case with the worrying piece, it was like it came on me automatically. It wasn’t like, then I tried to control myself, I tried to breath, I tried to tell myself I was being stupid, and you know that I was being irrational, and I tried talking to myself, all my strategies, I tried meditating, clearing, cleansing, whatever you want to say and I just could not calm down.
Seth… The universe provides you with an invaluable lesson.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Now figure it out.
Isabella… Of how to calm the pattern?
Seth… No figure out why it happened. Figure out why you did this, and it is the same reason why…
Isabella… To learn self-control.
Seth… Correct. So now that you understand that and that is only partially the answer you will look at, I didn’t clean the spoon differently, you will look at I didn’t clean up after the animal correctly, you will look at somebody said something that bothered me in a different manner. When you can control something, you will, when you have to learn when you can’t control something what to do with it. Can you control what somebody else says to you and of course the answer is, “No!”
Isabella… But how do you control an automatic physical reaction?
Seth… By understanding, knowledge and consciously understanding gives you the answer of what to do.
Isabella… So, knowledge of why I was worried about him?
Seth… And what to do with it. Let’s give our microphone to our friend Frank so he can delve into some of the Value Fulfillment situation which will certainly help.
Jasmine… I have a question.
Seth… Go ahead.
Jasmine… One is can you give me any insight into suggestions or whatever that may be helpful in my conversations with my mother?
Seth… Speak slowly, do not raise your voice, state clearly that which you want, and you desire, ask questions. (Jasmine then repeated with the help of group and wrote down the above.) Instead of the word “want” use the word “need”.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… And remember agreement is not necessary, next question.
Jasmine… I have been having some hair thinning problems that have been ongoing for many years now already, and I was just wondering…
Seth… Dis-ease is mostly the cause.
Jasmine… Is there anything you can suggest I do?
Seth… How often do you meditate?
Jasmine… No, never.
Seth… That’s the first thing we will come back to it when you start doing it.
Jasmine… Okay.
Stephanie… The hair will come back when you start doing it?
Frank… Stephanie is ready to go on a retreat! (Laughter.)
Seth… Go ahead, Frank.
Frank… Okay, from the two volumes on Value Fulfillment…
Seth… Even this cup knows where it is, where it came from and what it will become. It is a sense of overriding understanding of consciousness.
Frank… Okay, then I went on with: Value Fulfillment is the creative force, the creative need to grow, to try out possibilities and paths utilizing various strengths, weaknesses and gifts.
Seth… Is that not what we have spoken about this evening?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Value Fulfillment is all inclusive in whatever you do.
Frank… It is what propels us to become more than what we were and are.
Seth… You live in the ever-expanding-now.
Frank… One knows Value Fulfillment is in play by the pleasure it engenders, for example in fun, play and accomplishment.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… The lack of Value Fulfillment or possibility for Value Fulfillment leads to the ending of an incarnation or even the ending of a species or a world.
Seth… Not only that but each of you when you have a lack of Value Fulfillment you create a void, an emptiness! So, when you (To Jasmine) go ahead and speak to your mother, do not create a void. State what you require from her and understand you are valuable to her as you are to yourself. If you make yourself less valuable, then she will see you as less valuable and that is the same for you (Stephanie) too.
Stephanie… With my mother?
Seth… Of course.
Frank… So, and this was what I had worked on and then the universe gave me in a fortune cookie, “You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment.”
And then…
Seth… Notice it didn’t say analyze anything.
Frank… No, (Frank laughs.) that’s on the back, “Learn Chinese.” And then in a communication, I was just going through stuff and in a communication via Stephanie to me (From Seth.) was a definition of Value Fulfillment from maybe four years ago: Value Fulfillment means that you are satisfied with whatever course of action you are taking because it provides growth and development of the spirit.
Seth… That is correct from that brilliant person.
Frank… Yes, you said it, I know. (Laughter.)
Seth… Do you understand now the concepts that we have provided this evening… through that?
Isabella… Yeah, because it’s about, I feel it is about being proud of your self and valuing…
Seth… that which you are.
Isabella… And what you have accomplished and…
Seth… Does anyone have to pat you on the back and say good job?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Then stop looking for it.
Isabella… Good point.
Seth… I knew I’d get there eventually. Any other questions?
Frank… I have a different question. In terms of my trying to shift sleeping schedule can you give me a little help in terms of…
Seth… Are you comfortable with it or not?
Frank… I was comfortable with the creativity of it but then… see I think I had difficulty separating the incident I had over the weekend…
Seth… Analyzing.
Frank… (Isabella said something to Frank.) I’m not sure if I am comfortable… hmm?
Seth… If you are not comfortable with something due to other incidents…
Frank… Right.
Seth… Very simply go back to an old thing you’ve had and come back to this one, change that. You are not locked into anything and that which you do not find suitable on Tuesday may you find very suitable on Thursday.
Frank… That’s what I did last night; I thought I would go back. Just as a follow up question and I guess I could try it; would it make sense to try and schedule out consistent time for the nap?
Seth… Why? Be open. Be free. Stop walking into trees.
Frank… Okay.
Isabella… I have a question concerning my diet program. I am really enjoying it. I am getting very into it. However, I am not expecting instant results, I accept that about myself already, but I am not seeing the loss that I would like to. And I am just curious if there is something else, is there something I am doing incorrectly, or should I just stick with it and ultimately see what happens?
Seth… First of all, I believe somewhere along the line you should look into a nutritionist so that they can monitor what you are putting into your mouth and what you are not, number one. Number two, remember when you are physically building bulk and strength whether it be cardiovascular bulk and strength whether it be weightlifting bulk and strength and certainly women should do a tremendous amount of weight training because it will tend to prevent osteoporosis, therefore women achieve osteoporosis by becoming themselves frail and weak in their own minds. So, and when you become frail and weak what do you give up? You give up your bone strength so that you have dis-ease in that area. Therefore, what you have to do is understand that when you are creating bulk and strength, the question is, do you look better? Do you feel better? Are your clothes looser? All these things…
Isabella… Not really yet.
Seth… Well, how long have you been doing this? A day, a month a year, about five years?
Isabella… Probably about a month.
Seth… So, what do you expect? If you are creating bulk and strength, what do you expect?
Isabella… Well, I was expecting that my clothes would fit me a little better.
Seth… Do they fit a little better?
Isabella… Maybe a little better. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Next question?
Isabella… But my, my…
Seth… But we’re done, we are done with this question.
Isabella… But minor wise. But I am just asking if there is anything…
Seth… I’ve given you what you should do.
Isabella… Fine. (In a whine like tone.)
Seth… Fine. (In a whine like tone in return.)
Arthur… Can you give me any information about the words that came in the face in my meditation “Shri lasa”.
Seth… No that is something you have to look for.
Are there any other questions? Yes Frank, go ahead, don’t wave it off.
Frank… No, I was thinking I’m going to have to type it.
Seth… No, (Laughter most prominently Isabella’s.) that is not an excuse.
Isabella… I know how you feel!
Frank… I actually wanted to back up to the session on the six concepts, just a little something on why do they seem so perfectly suited for couples and self and other in terms of change?
Seth… I want you to think about this in a much broader sense than the question allows you to.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Those concepts themselves are applicable to all who inhabit the physical plane. One of the things I was going to speak about tonight and I will do this lecture upon our next meeting is the idea that, are you alone? And the answer is and people delve into this into an amazing amount of stupidity if you are sitting in a room by yourself, are you alone? And the answer is, “no” because you are still dependent upon people who give you electricity, people who deliver your food. If you are sitting out in the wilderness for twenty-five years and never see another individual, are you alone? And the answer is, “no”; you are not alone because there are individuals who help plant trees, who put out forest fires. You are never alone. You are always interlocked. First of all, with self, spiritual guides, higher planes of existence. We will deal with this next time so I believe that that will certainly give you a little food for thought. Aren’t you glad you asked the question now? You can analyze it over the next week. (Stephanie laughs.)
Isabella… If I volunteer to type up that lecture, can I have an extension on the other?
Seth… No, but you will type up the next lecture because you just stated it.
Isabella… No, I said if I volunteered.
Seth… You just did.
Isabella… Can I have a little bit of extra time in two weeks?
Seth… Oh, you mean to type up that lecture? Yes. I will allow that.
Isabella… Because I think that’s…
Seth… Two and a half? Three? Four?
Isabella… important for me. (There is kidding that is hard to hear.)
Seth… Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah, everything has to do with self and other and it all.
Seth… I believe that you forget that.
Frank… Yeah. (Said softly and others are laughing good naturedly.)
Seth… Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this, the idea that one is responsible for another’s happiness, another’s well-being isolates you, gives you dis-ease, causes anger and frustration. Your wants increase, your viewpoints become narrowed, your egocentric view of who and what you are and how others play into your dynamic situation causes you nothing but grief. Be true to self, cause yourself to be on point meaning centered. Your needs will be met, and you will feel joy from that which you create. Anger at self and others increases your wants; pleasure and love magnifies your needs. You have the choice, and it is yours and yours alone. I bid you all a most hardy good evening.
Inner Strength, the Inner Warrior and Making Your Life Work
Tuesday March 11, 2008
8:25 p.m.
Seth… Again, good evening, a small bit of housekeeping, Isabella?
Isabella… Yes?
Seth… Pick a number, one, two, three or four.
Isabella… Two.
Seth… Two, fine. We’ll see if we need that number later. One of the answers to your question is simply this: I’ve already given it to you in terms of your digestive system. Now if you would like to go ahead and to deal with this in terms of a full explanation you may have it now.
Isabella… I’ll take it now. That be if I can only ask two questions?
Seth… No.
Frank… That would be door number one. (Laughs.)
Seth… You may have it now and if I give it to you now again…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… there is a penalty for not listening and that penalty is you will type up, okay session number 361 and you will have two weeks, or you may listen to the various tapes find out what I said when I said it and therefore you don’t have to type up Session 361.
Jasmine… 361 is about her question?
Seth… Not necessarily.
Isabella… Which tapes are you talking about?
Seth… I believe they are called these tapes. (Probably pointing to a tape or the tape recorder.)
Isabella… I know but which ones that I should be listening to?
Seth… Well, since you do not remember when I said to you at all so you may type up last week’s or the week’s before.
Isabella… Listen to last week’s?
Seth… Yes, in full and you will somewhere find the answer there or you may type up…
Isabella… I remember what you said last week. I know exactly what you said last week about GI issues definitely being related to dis-ease; so, I don’t really need you to repeat that. I know it’s dis-ease for me. My question is I can’t figure out exactly what it is I’m having dis-ease about. That’s my problem and I have pinpointed a few things that I think are bothering me but nothing that I really thought that would be causing me to have major stomach issues.
Seth… 361 gets you a full explanation.
Isabella… I’ll type up 361.
Frank… Whoa. (Stephanie was giggling.)
Seth… Let me see if I can be of assistance and how many weeks do you have?
Isabella… You know I was going to pick four! (Group laughter.)
Seth… But you picked two and that’s the answer to that question.
Frank… I know why you picked two.
Isabella… Why?
Frank… Because it was in the middle, and you were afraid if it would be one of something or it would go too far the other way.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Now, again when individuals start out with a disorder, you can write this down. When individuals start out with a disorder of their intestinal tract there is a very relevant old idea, “What is eating you?” Now the question here arises, to put it mildly you are unhappy with your perceived situation and therefore you tend…
Isabella… Can you make it clear about what my perceived situation is, living home?
Seth… Living home, not having a gentleman, not being cared for, going ahead and worrying about.
Isabella… “Will I?”
Seth… Will you?
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Will I have a child, will I meet somebody?
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… The whole gamut if you will of information there. So therefore, what you have is a situation that you cannot win and because you are being tossed and turned between one idea to another, you become panic stricken. Physiologically, yes, it is certainly factual that when you exercise you do produce a great amount of gastric acid which certainly does not help the problem, but individuals have stomach inflammation which leads to digestive system difficulties especially in the area of ulcers, acid reflux disease because they are literally eating themselves from within. Your tendency to define yourself in certain ways does not do you any good. You believe that you are getting ready to move out and be on your own and the answer to that is a most hardy laugh. And the reason I am stating that is because what have you learned? If you look at this evening in terms of eating yourself up, a statement was made to you by Jasmine yesterday which caused you more dis-ease today. Therefore, if you have more disease today obviously you are not in control and since you are not controlling your own destiny your dis-ease becomes greater.
Isabella… So that’s why I was worse today?
Seth… Of course, when you worry, when you are upset, when you are bothered, I cannot blame Jasmine for your actions at all.
Isabella… No, I know.
Seth… This is your issue. So, when you allow this, you suffer, therefore what have you learned about living within a communal setting and the answer is not much because you are still doing and having the same dis-ease symptomatology that you have always had. Do not look at the fact that your stomach is bothering you is the same thing as it has been in the past. It is just a generalized dis-ease whether it be mental, physical or whatever.
Isabella… I understand what you are saying but what you say about living within a community that I haven’t learned much.
Seth… You think you have but your actions and reactions, you fall back upon old ways far too easily and when you do this you justify your doing it because you want to, which is foolhardy. Let me see if I can give you an explanation here: if you were to go ahead and to have someone that you know hit you every time they saw you, your tendency from what you routinely do is to make excuses when they are hitting you and saying it wasn’t that bad. Do not look at the term hitting in terms of physical beating up, but it can also be in terms of a mental beating up as well which is just as difficult for anyone to deal with.
Isabella… So, you are talking in relationship between my mother and I?
Seth… Your mother, your father, your boyfriends, your girlfriends, all of these habits are tending to repeat themselves because you do not create that which is truly profitable for you.
Isabella… I really don’t understand what I am doing wrong…
Seth… For example…
Isabella… I feel like I am working so hard.
Seth… Give us a moment, nobody is saying you are not working.
Isabella… But when you say I am not making any progress…
Seth… Let me give you an example…
Isabella… No progress is very depressing since it has been a year since I have really been trying to work on myself.
Seth… Let us give you an example: I believe an old boyfriend called you…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… who was rude to you, who did not treat you with the esteem that you believe you deserve. Am I correct?
Isabella… Maybe.
Seth… What did you do about it?
Isabella… Ah, I spoke to him.
Seth… Why?
Isabella… Curiosity.
Seth… Not the issue. When I told you to recall this individual it was out of you being concerned that he was well and that his mother was well.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… That is about as far as it should go; you did what is considered the right and proper thing there since he was facing an operation.
Isabella… But that did open a door, obviously.
Seth… It opened a door for him, not for you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… And when he went ahead and was rude and not correct for you, you tend, you should close the door, but you don’t do that. You fall back in ways in which you define yourself by having someone. Do you understand?
Isabella… Yeah, but I didn’t, I don’t really want him in that way.
Seth… It’s not wanting, it is dealing with him.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… That is the difficulty.
Isabella… Yeah, he is like an “Achilles’ Heel” for me.
Seth… No, that’s an excuse that you should never make again. Someone who is not correct for you by your own statement, “I don’t want him,” you may be polite, you may be kind, you may be considerate.
Isabella… Yeah, well that’s what I felt I did yesterday being like…
Seth… Why was it there, even a necessity to answer?
Isabella… I thought it would have been rude not to.
Seth… Why? Why did he deserve kindness when he didn’t show it to you?
Isabella… He didn’t.
Seth… I believe you must think about this.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… I’m not telling you to do anything. I would never do that but for your sake just as you found it necessary to go ahead and to have a little exam tonight, I believe for your sake you should.
Isabella… Well for her sake.
Let me tell you two stories. The first story is called the “Wooden Bowl” and the second one is called “Wet Pants”. The “Wooden Bowl” story is quite simple: The farther of a young man was getting old and he has moved into the home of his son and his daughter-in-law. Since he is frail, hands are shaky he tends to spill food and breaks a dish or two. He drops things on the floor and both the son, and the daughter-in-law are getting quite aggravated about his eating habits and the fact that he is breaking things. And after one particularly bad dinner the daughter-in-law says, “I cannot stand this anymore. He is ruining our meals, our family time together. Well, we have to move him. So, they decide that they are going to make a little table for him in the corner of the room and they give him since he drops things and breaks things a wooden bowl to eat out of.
The days turn into weeks and weeks into months and every once in awhile they will look over at the old gentleman and they notice a tear running down his cheek. He still drops things; he still spills but they are less concerned about this. One day during the summer the young man and his wife see their four-year-old son playing in the backyard and he is gathering wood and trying to rub it and shape it. Finally, the father says to his son, “What are you doing?” And in his four-year-old innocence he looks up and says to both of them, “I’m making you wooden bowls so that when I get big, you’ll have something to eat out of.” No further words had to be spoken. That evening they brought grandfather back to the main table and made sure he had the dishes that everyone had. The remarkable fact that his spillage and dropping things no longer annoyed or bothered them. When we change perspective, it is interesting to note how things work out.
Our second story, “Wet Pants,” in a third-grade classroom, a nine-year-old little boy is sitting at a desk and all of sudden he notices that his pants are wet and there is a puddle on the floor. He realizes very quickly that he doesn’t know how this happened, but he instinctively knows that if the boys in the class find out they will make fun of him, forever. If the girls in the class know they will never speak to him again. He looks up and prays to God, “Please help me, I am in desperate need.” At that moment Susie is walking with a bowl of water for the Goldfish that is in the back of the room, and she trips and spills the water all over him and onto the floor. Everybody laughs at her. They feel badly for our young student. And the teacher takes him to get into his gym shorts while they dry out his pants. And everybody is angry at Susan; they tease her. The end of the day and they are getting ready to board the bus our young man walks over to Susie and say’s, “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” And she puts her mouth to his ear and says, “I once wet my pants as well and I knew what you were feeling.”
Our second story shows us that change is often accomplished by inner-strength, your inner warrior if you will, your inner desire to improve. One must realize that even when situations are difficult, when events seem to work against you, one must develop the strength and the wisdom to not only to change but to help another as well as yourself. Inner-strength carries with it the burden of responsibility towards self. One cannot improve unless you are willing to admit that one, you have difficulty and two, you desire change to improve that which you are. Prosperity is defined by the gain in experience.
We will eventually, Frank, deal with value fulfillment whether it is this week or next.
One must have the wisdom to attempt progress. If you sit alone, if you delude yourself that you are doing something but in reality, you are repeating events over and over again then you cannot and will not prosper. Your inner-strength may be defined by some as courage, yet for you as an individual your inner-strength is in reality a connection with your conscious mind which flows from the inner frameworks into the physical plane through you.
The question arises when you make an error, when you make a mistake and the answer is obvious, of course you will. But does that mean if things are difficult, if you are having a hard time, if you are not as prosperous as you would like to be then the warrior needs to go into battle. You need to remind yourself that you are creating that which you choose to be. One makes life work because you accept the challenge THAT YOU MUST have set for yourself. When one takes a back seat to life one allows others to do for them. It is and I must state the care for me syndrome. If you are not willing to work hard for you the question arises, who should? Your existence on the physical plane is but a series of challenges or better yet opportunities for you to improve that which you choose to become. You do this by changing, by making a difference to the most important individual that you know and that of course is you.
Life works because you make it so. You are literally at war with your own opportunities for growth and development. I could easily go around the room and ask each of you who you or what challenges do you face? If you fear them, if you worry about them, the chances are you will say that this is not profitable. However, I disagree, one must learn to be concerned properly, one must learn to understand that challenges are not easy. They are meant to foster growth. What is difficult is the idea that you as an individual should not and cannot become so enmeshed, concerned with… Would you like me to pause, Isabella?
Isabella… No. (Jasmine was rereading her notes and repeating)
Seth… or concerned with another’s challenges. Learn to offer advice when asked. Learn to change your own perspective when necessary. Your existence here on the physical plane will be easier. You will be able to understand another’s problem. You may give help when required.
One of the ways in which you may keep a positive outlook is by remembering events. I suggest that each of you learn to keep a journal, a diary if you will of what you consider an important challenge in your existence. When one looks at either my lectures from a few years ago you’ll note how often you have misinterpreted or not understood that which I have said. That is why your notes or transcriptions of the tapes is a helpful idea. One of the reasons why I require Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak to reread the book that they had started was due to the fact that they did not interpret the words to their fullest meaning. One often sees something differently when linear time has passed. That which may have seemed disastrous or upsetting at one point of reference is in reality minor when revisited at a different point of reference. Examples of this may be seen with the idea of Isabella and her tenure situations when she was going through her difficulty, she was quite distressed. Yet when we look at it from this perspective, was it annoying or bothersome the answer is obvious. So, the question arises was it as disastrous as it seemed to be then? Your ideas, your feelings often need to be contemplated again. Use your own thoughts about something and reflect on them in your writing so that you may revisit these ideas at a latter point of reference. When each of you revisits an idea, a thought, a feeling you will note that the intensity and oft times the desperation of those ideas lessened, not because they were not important, they are important. Not because they are not factual, they are. But because your experience on the physical plane has changed you, the decisions around those challenges may be correct or incorrect, it matters not.
Stephanie… Decisions?
Seth… Around those challenges or opportunities may be correct or incorrect, it matters not. It is the ability that you give yourself to make your life work that matters. First time an infant tries to walk or let go they fall; does that mean they never get up and try again? For those of you who ride bicycles, did you ride perfectly the first time? Could you drive a car when you got behind the wheel for the first, second or fifth time as well as you do today? Just because something is difficult, just because you are disappointed does not mean that one gives up. This is when your inner warrior must come out. All have the ability to accomplish whatever you desire. Do you choose to make things perfect? Of course not. (Jasmine asked for repetition of last several sentences and people assisted her.) I will change this: Your desires are a mere signpost, a guide if you will, to help you follow through to make your life work in the most productive manner possible. If one has difficulty with one set of circumstances, do not back away, move forward. The idea that I am working so hard matters not; the idea that you are working matters. You may not succeed at this point of reference but without fighting for yourself can your life truly work? You will learn to revisit ideas and thoughts… You will learn to revisit ideas and thoughts and in doing so will ask yourself the following: How could I have missed that idea? Why did I not see that for what it was? When you say these things each of you will have truly grown and you will know prosperity is there for the taking.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Let us continue: Question had been asked, how do you bring out your Peaceful Warrior, I use the word Peaceful Warrior since Jasmine, I would like you to reread the book. Isabella, let me tell you what I have said. (Isabella had been out of the room and responded but this was not picked up by the tape.) Yes, and I have asked Jasmine to reread the book (“Way of The Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman)
Isabella… Do I have to reread it again?
Seth… You don’t have to anything you don’t choose to. It might be of assistance for you.
Isabella… I’ve read it four times already, I have to read it again?
Seth… No, you don’t have to anything. You have to do nothing that I state.
Isabella… Just asking.
Seth… No.
Isabella… I thought you were going to tell me I have to read it again.
Seth… No, I believe that you understand that you understand the concepts in the book. It is putting that idea into practice that you have difficulty with. And therefore…
Isabella… Like most people do.
Seth… May I ask you a question?
Jasmine… Because I don’t want her to feel such pain.
Seth… Excuse me. Isabella, you may feel free to ignore the comment there. Pain and difficulty are not terrible things.
Isabella… I never said they were terrible.
Seth… I am not talking to you I am talking to Jasmine.
Isabella… Oh, you were looking at me.
Seth… Pain and difficulty are not terrible things; they are a sign of a challenge or an opportunity to give you an ability to redefine yourself. And when one redefines themselves in any number of ways do you as an individual stay on center? Or are you pulled to the side? If you remember you are existing in the ever expanding now since time and reality has no relevance. If one then understands that when you become an individual who is easily pulled off center your life becomes more difficult. The diary you keep will clearly show you where you moved when you did not want to. It is a book of events. You may then learn in similar situations to re-center yourself since your greatest portion of power is now. You succeed because you face the opportunity to make your existence profitable. (Jasmine said something inaudible.)
Frank… Could you repeat the last sentence?
Seth… Because you make existence properly, you succeed because you make your existence profitable.
Stephanie… You’re saying just the facing it is profitable not the outcome of it.
Seth… Outcome matters not. May I go ahead, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Let me just ask this, you succeed because you make your existence profitable by facing the difficulties?
Seth… Yes.
Jasmine… Okay I get it.
Seth… By facing the difficulty.
Isabella… So, it’s just like (unclear)
Seth… It’s not quite factual.
Isabella… How is that not factual?
Seth… When you face a difficulty, you can gain experience by learning to work through it. You face it. If you hide; if you don’t want to look at something, then you cannot succeed. Just because you do not succeed in a challenge or an opportunity on the first time, the second time or the ninetieth time matters not. The delusion is that I must be good. I must end with a profitable idea. I am improving, I am working hard, I am becoming diligent. My answer is that’s nice, but does it matter? The answer is no! What matters is, is the relevance, the learning, your conscious creations that you are drawing from, from the inner world, the hidden one that matter. Your conscious mind allows you to draw from the inner frameworks. There is a connection between the two and when you discount this connection, when you do not allow it to prosper and only focus on the physical plane the question arises why do things keep repeating themselves. Why do ideas, events, actions repeat? They repeat because you have not finished!
Isabella… So, if you don’t accomplish it, you’re looking at a miserable life?
Seth… That is not quite true!
Isabella… It is true because if the same things keep coming back up over and over again and you can’t somehow work through it then you’re looking at being miserable.
Seth… Let us start again.
Isabella… I mean that’s what it is. I mean that’s basically what you are saying…
Seth… No.
Isabella… If you can’t work thorough it and you can’t you know, change and get better then it’s just about the trying that’s going to make it but that’s, that’s, I don’t believe that, it’s not just about the trying.
Seth… Show me how I am wrong.
Isabella… Because it’s not just about the trying, I mean we all try to fix things and work on yourselves and make yourself better.
Seth… And how do you succeed in certain areas?
Isabella… Apparently not.
Seth… You have succeeded in nothing?
Isabella… So, you said I’d make little progress.
Seth… What was that word? There was a small word there?
Isabella… Yeah, little which means…
Seth… Does that mean none?
Isabella… Basically.
Seth… Please show me how little means none?
Isabella… Because number one you didn’t explain at all where I made progress and number two it’s very easy to say that you know, I mean, I don’t know you know when you feel like you’re working hard…
Seth… Are you working hard if you feel you are working hard?
Isabella… Are you working hard if you are feeling you are working hard?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… The answer is possibly. When events repeat themselves, it means all questions have not been asked and answered.
Isabella… See I feel like I’m losing my pattern here. I don’t know… I don’t know what event is repeating here at this point.
Seth… The event is simple. If I were to ask you, how do you truly define you?
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Then you will have to come up with an answer.
Isabella… Yeah, but I think my answer is very different than what it was a year ago.
Seth… And let’s assume it is different than it was a year ago.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Should it be?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Of course, but does that mean that you have fully succeeded no matter how hard you are…
Isabella… No, I don’t feel that I have, I don’t even feel that, I don’t feel that I’ve fully succeeded, that would be impossible. But to say that I made little if any progress is basically what you said before is…
Seth… In areas that you require work with. You asked me why you have dis-ease, did you not?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And my answer was because you are still victimizing yourself. You are still making yourself a victim by how and the ways in which you define you. That does not mean you are failing.
Isabella… But I know myself, I know myself from three years ago, four years ago and the way that I handled certain situations now is vastly different than I would have then.
Seth… That is correct and you are more capable of standing up for yourself than you were three of four years ago.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But in that standing up for yourself do you sometimes lose the idea and the challenge, and the answer is of course, yes.
Isabella… But who wouldn’t, who doesn’t?
Seth… I am not stating that. You are trying to separate that which should not be separated. You cannot have it that I am making horrible progress, you cannot have that I am making wonderful progress, you cannot have it that I am making a little bit of progress without understanding that which you are is created and defined by you on a moment-to-moment basis.
Isabella… I never said…
Seth… Your ideas about existence change from one point of reference to another.
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… Yet you define yourself in certain ways that are detrimental to you, that is why you have stated here I believe it is disease or dis-ease that is causing my stomach problems. That’s what you stated, and I am agreeing with you on that statement, and I have given you the reasons why and those instances you have not made great progress, you have made a little and that is perfectly acceptable.
Isabella… In the instances of causing dis-ease for myself?
Seth… In the instances I have described earlier…
Isabella… In regards to needing to be taken care of, all that kind of stuff? But that I feel like I’ve made tremendous progress there comparatively to how I have been in the past. I mean that’s what I am saying like I even just from being able to be okay being alone at night and you know that kind of stuff. I feel like that’s very different for me.
Seth… Yes, it is different but you’re still defining yourself by a closing set of parameters.
Isabella… Such as?
Seth… Such as, I’m going to move in with George. You are defining yourself as needing a male when you don’t.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… When you allow this Abraham individual to victimize you, you are defining yourself in a way that is detrimental to you.
Isabella… I don’t think I am allowing him to define me.
Seth… You are defining you not him. And that shows in those two instances some progress because you are aware of it but not enough. So, if you don’t like my word, “little” change it to some. Does that mean you are not trying? Does that mean you are not succeeding? Of course not. Does it mean you still have work to do? The answer is, yes.
Isabella… I’m not saying that I don’t have work to do but I just, you know, I mean, it’s very hard to make a decision about you know moving on with my life in regards to staying here or moving out or whatever when you are telling me that I haven’t completed learning how to live in a community.
Seth… Practice. Become faithful to yourself and you will succeed, I guarantee that. Are there any other questions?
Arthur… How did Susie promote herself by arranging that situation where she…?
Seth… She promoted herself by putting herself at risk. She knew that the outcome for her would be far less disastrous than the outcome for the boy.
Arthur… Well, how does that differ from the things that I do that you tell me are not profitable for me?
Seth… If you have to ask that question you already know the answer.
Arthur… It seems to me I sometimes put myself…
Seth… Routinely.
Arthur… at risk when I feel…
Seth… It is not a question of risk; what you do is you place yourself in a position where there is no benefit.
Arthur… To… me?
Seth… You or them.
Arthur… I don’t know if that’s always true. (Said softly.)
Seth… Factual. Show me how giving money to your sister is helpful?
Arthur… She can’t sell it; she needs it to live in and to…
Seth… What you think she cannot do is foolhardy. The answer is she can do what she chooses to do.
Arthur… Certainly, she can do what she chooses to do. What do I do with the struggle that I have with seeing her at such risk?
Seth… Why is it your problem?
Arthur… Well, because I love her.
Seth… Loving someone does not mean doing and taking away their problem.
Arthur… I’m just a, I guess I’m afraid that if she dies…
Seth… Is it your fault? If she ends her incarnation?
Arthur… I will feel…
Seth… If she ends her incarnation whose choice is it?
Arthur… It must be her choice.
Seth… Does any soul end their incarnation before they are ready?
Arthur… You have told me that that’s what is factual.
Seth… That is factual. That is a simple fact.
Arthur… I have this from you. I don’t know this from myself. I don’t know.
Seth… Of course, you do.
Arthur… How do I know that?
Seth… Of course, you do. Research the inner recesses of you and you will find that it is absolutely a statement of fact.
Arthur… Through meditation?
Seth… Any way that you can. The woman who is a battered wife and who constantly goes back and knows that her husband will become so enraged one day that he will kill her but yet she continues to suffer and go back until one day he does kill her, who is responsible for those actions.
Arthur… Well, she is responsible and…
Seth… It is the same thing here.
Arthur… Who is responsible for what he does? You know he’s responsible…
Seth… She places herself there.
Arthur… Yes, she does.
Seth… And that’s the issue here.
Arthur… But that doesn’t tell me that every soul does that.
Seth… Every soul.
Arthur… You tell me that.
Seth… Every soul.
Arthur… Ah… (Long pause.) Is there any feedback you can give me about how I am doing with this?
Seth… You’re obviously quite upset.
Arthur… Yeah?
Seth… You’re obviously distraught.
Arthur… Yeah.
Seth… You’re obviously feeling that you have to be able to accomplish and do more than you have done…
Arthur… It just hurts.
Seth… because you feel responsible…
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… and show me how that is profitable for you?
Arthur… I just don’t know how the opposite will be profitable for me.
Seth… What has it accomplished so far?
Arthur… The opposite?
Seth… No, what you are doing now.
Arthur… I am doing it differently now.
Seth… How?
Arthur… I have not given her money. I have not given her a car. I talk to her. I get concerned that she will not be there to call me. (Crying.)
Seth… Whose choice is it? You cannot make an individual do something that they are not ready, willing and able to do.
Arthur… Alright, you said that she was going to get nowhere until she got psychiatric help. For what? For the gambling or for her personality disorder?
Seth… It starts with the idea of how she victimizes herself with money, that’s the gambling. But in doing that her personality disorder will come directly into play.
Arthur… Yes. And when I did not do, and she went to the storage unit and found papers. Three bags of papers, a stack her boy friend had stored there she came to a partial realization, I am not crazy. I, you know this actually happened. That was good for her. That was a piece that she would not have gained if I had somehow done something…
Seth… Correct.
Arthur… that she would not have gone into the storage unit to look at that. She then used that in a way that was a camouflage. She took that further, but I don’t, I don’t know. It’s just like, it’s like I have to have nerves of steel to let go of this.
Seth… Yes, you do. But you cannot succeed for her. That is the issue. Do you not see how you are connectable to Isabella in this situation?
Arthur… I feel more connectable to Jasmine in this situation!
Frank… No.
Jasmine… Because I am doing the same thing that you are.
Arthur… Oh, well I don’t know about what you are doing.
Seth… She is trying and attempting, and I am not saying that it’s a bad thing, but she is trying to assist to do for when you cannot.
Arthur… So, what is the thing about you can give assistance…
Seth… Assistance means…
Arthur… when it’s required.
Seth… Right. That’s correct, you should give assistance when required, (Almost seem to say “requested.”) But that does not mean giving money. It does not mean doing for as your sister would think she requires you to do. Or that you would like to believe you do. Giving assistance means…
Arthur… She’s not asking…
Seth… I understand.
Arthur… for money.
Seth… But it will get to that and very quickly. We are both aware of this.
Arthur… It has been there in the past. It has routinely been there in the past. But it is not there now, interestingly.
Seth… Because you are not going to allow it. Are you?
Arthur… I ah, certainly hope not.
Seth… Well, that’s the difficulty that you have. (Arthur laughing emotionally.) Do you see the difference?
Arthur… It’s just really hard to hold that position; it’s really hard, (Spoken softly into mumbling.)
Seth… Don’t you think that the person who is victimizing you realizes that it is difficult for you?
Arthur… That she’s victimizing me?
Seth… Of course, she is. And you allow it. Because you feel responsible, you feel guilty…
Arthur… (Speaking over Seth…) It’s a serious… I feel survivor’s guilt…
Seth… You feel worried that she is going to die.
Arthur… I feel…
Seth… You are going to go ahead and say, “What can I do to prevent!” And my answer is simply this: nothing.
Arthur… Hmm.
Seth… For example, have you ever dealt with a drug addict or an alcoholic? Please tell me what the family is first told when a diagnosis is made?
Arthur… Do not enable. You can’t… it’s not up to you.
Seth… You do not enable! Please show me how (Arthur is talking at the same time.) you are not enabling? Please show me how you are not enabling?
Arthur… I’ve been trying not to give her cash. I’ve been trying not… I helped with the wedding. I tried to give love, I tried to give advice. I locked my door so she wouldn’t steal things. You know I…
Seth… I understand.
Stephanie… (Directed to Arthur with the first part unclear but…) You did everything that you think she requires; she still has the opportunity to use it and fail…
Arthur… Yes, yes, she does.
Stephanie… to help herself. If you give her everything she requires Even if you are giving and giving and giving for example and she will abuse the gifts…
Seth… As she always has.
Stephanie… That’s why it is not your choice.
Seth… There is the difference if she was going into for example a program, whatever the program was and she asked you for assistance, do me a favor I need to be able to pay for this program, I’m going…
Arthur… I’ve thought of offering her that.
Seth… No, she has to come to you not you to her. I’m going into this and then you arrange and help with the finances of the program, that’s a vastly different thing then giving. Do you understand the difference?
Arthur… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Can I ask another thing about…
Seth… You can ask two.
Arthur… Thank you. What is this 2012 stuff? Is this whole shift thing that people are talking about… (This is being typed in 2012 and edited in 2018 and so far, we are still here. F.N.)
Seth… Nonsense, just leave it alone.
Arthur… Okay and so…
Seth… The world is not going to end in 2012.
Arthur… Okay well I didn’t, I wasn’t going…
Seth… Yes, it is all part of the…
Arthur… No, they are talking about a struggle that is going on with a shift of energy…
Seth… In 2074 there will be a man coming around that will help that area, just skip it. Move along.
Arthur… Okay and what about this theory of Eileen’s (Laughs.) about my coming from a different place?
Seth… Well, you don’t live in Rockville Centre, do you?
Arthur… That’s right no, I don’t, (Said with humor.)
Seth… And therefore, you do come from a different place.
Arthur… Yes, this star?
Seth… You come from here. (Stephanie giggles.) It’s like the man was not in your computer. (Now Frank giggles. This refers to a previous issue with a fear of Arthur’s computer being tampered with.)
Frank… 2074? I thought that was a lot sooner? (This does refer to the Second Coming of Christ. Seth’s explanation of this is vastly different then Biblical interpreted end of the world beliefs. Seth has stated that the Christ Consciousness was actually contained within the three historical figures know as John the Baptist, Jesus and Saul or Saint Paul. It is the Saint Paul personality who will return as he was not completely satisfied. There will be some sort of religious rebalancing or new understanding as his incarnation unfolds. F.N.)
Seth… Reread.
Frank… Okay. Does anybody want to ask questions about this?
Seth… That is all we are going to have time for this evening is this, nothing else. (Frank, I believe asked about some sort of concepts and perhaps material on Value Fulfillment.) You already have them. We can deal with that next week.
Frank… That’s fine.
Seth… Anything else?
Stephanie… You’re suggesting to do a diary of what kind of events?
Seth… Things that are significant for you.
Stephanie… Difficult or anything?
Seth… Anything, it doesn’t matter. It’s what you feel that you have to look at again. For example, give us a moment; do you remember the Harry Potter books?
Stephanie… Yeah, I love the Harry Potter books.
Seth… Okay, in the Harry Potter books, Dumbledore uses and pulls out from his memory and puts into a bowl of memories that he wants to revisit later, those are his diaries, his thoughts. And they are significant and what I am saying to you as an individual, things that you feel are significant for you would not be the same even if you were dealing with, for example with Jasmine. What she felt was significant may not be what you felt was significant for her. Do you understand? So, whatever you feel is significant for you write down and then have an ability to revisit.
Stephanie… How far back do we go back with that?
Seth… As far back as you want, a twenty-two-page letter would be nice.
Jasmine… Positive or negative?
Seth… Absolutely positive. If you do not put the…
Jasmine… Not negative?
Seth… Or negative, you do not just put, you will excuse the expressing discomforting things in that diary because that serves no useful purpose. Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Change, you may attempt it or not, without change you do not prosper. Your inner warrior is necessary so that you may make your life work and your needs will be fulfilled. You will see this clearly in your diary and when you make your life work your wants are lessened. I am going to end here by the way the time is 9:53 and I shall continue on with something slightly different. (Private material not recorded.)
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here again. Isabella, I notice that you have not finished the session and therefore questions will not be accepted, you understand this?
Isabella… I’m almost done.
Seth… As I can only tell you, there are certain gains where close is good but not in this one.
Isabella… Fine.
Seth… So, whenever you are ready to finish you may go ahead and do it that way.
A little bit more under the housekeeping, George, have you been attempting to open your mind?
George… Yes.
Seth… How are doing with it?
George… Okay.
Seth… What do you mean, okay?
George… I am managing to like to get a few minutes of office time but nothing…
Seth… How often do you do this per day?
George… I average twice.
Seth… Remember you do not need more than three or four minutes at any particular time, and you can certainly improve yourself by doing that so that certainly should give you some help if you understand.
On our subject of Change, we have to again look at the idea: each of you has a role that you play out. Some individuals have an ability to look at their role and question it, others do not. One must learn to shift roles. As an example, here, you have two friends and both of them like to be the leader, the take charge person. This is quite a difficult situation since quite often they will be at odds with each other. You cannot allow yourself to become stagnant in your role. You must have within yourself capacity to ebb and flow. You must change seasons when necessary. This ability of shifting roles if you will, will allow you to accomplish a great deal.
Each of you is made up of numerous viewpoints and attitudes that you at times adhere to, often to the detriment of self. You become used to doing things in certain ways, you are not flexible. With this in mind one may understand the idea that your viewpoints narrow and limit that which you may accomplish at any given point of reference. These facts are self-evident. When things do not go as planned one tends to rail against that which you do not have even at times when what you are receiving has a pleasant and at times profitable outcome.
Now, new lives, incarnations if you will, are not solitary; for the most part you work in combinations with others. If you ask yourself a question, how often do I truly work together with the others who I routinely interact with? It is sad to say that most of you truly believe that you work and play well with others. This is far from being factual. You do not keep things fresh. You habitually follow a routine even when things are very pleasant the routines make them disagreeable. An example here, commonly when men and women make love with one another they routinely follow the same patterns time after time. One of the reasons that married couples and couples who have been together for numerous years tend to look outside of their relationship with the other is due to the fact that nothing changes. That even the pleasure of becoming intimate with another quite often leaves a sour taste with both partners. If you all think back and remember the first time that you became intimate with your significant other, you will notice that the feelings and emotions are there and exciting. They are fresh, you did not know what to expect. You did not know what their actions and reactions would be, and they did not know yours. This clearly demonstrates the necessity of change for even in great moments of pleasure there are often great moments of disappointment. Shift roles, make things different. These are the keys to a successful incarnation. Each of you is capable of improving that which you are.
One of the difficulties with change is the concept that if I can force or make someone change it will repair the damage. Remember students you cannot fix everyone, it is impossible. Nor should you try. Change must come from within. To accomplish this task the roles that you play must be clearly defined. Quite often they are blurry. Each of you must determine for yourself how you will go about attempting change. First you must acknowledge your own pain or discomfort. You must understand that which you are is not that which you choose to be! If I could take a poll and go around and ask each of you, are you content or satisfied with that which you are or are you habitually unhappy, dissatisfied with what you see in the mirror? How many of you have acknowledged your own pain? And by acknowledging it I mean understanding that which is causing you dis-ease. If you do not feel satisfied in what you are doing quite often individuals develop digestive problems since you are eating yourself up. It is quite often obvious to everyone else except for our individual that they are uncomfortable or unhappy. The person who chooses to ignore their gifts such as a piano player may develop arthritis, their hands may become deformed. The individual who has psychic abilities and chooses not to use them may find that they suffer from headaches, shoulders and back will ache.
Isabella… That’s me.
Seth… These are but some of the dis-ease situations that individuals cause themselves. What are you and where are you going? If you have pain what are the causes? These are the types of situations where change needs to be understood before it can become profitable. How many individuals do you know that do not use their gifts properly?
So, my question to each of you is how do you define yourself? What are you? And then how could you make yourself better? Where do you choose to see yourself as something that others look at and choose to emulate? You must shift that which you are and work,towards that which you know will inspire you. It is far too easy to pretend than it is to accomplish. I could have asked Jasmine and Isabella how “The Secret” is coming, I already know the answer. How often do each of you read and reread and look at and study the material that I have given you? How often do each of you come back to a lecture the following week with questions on the last week’s material? What good does it do any of you if you just take notes? EVERY DAY IS AN EXAM! Each of you is tested by yourself. So, the question arises, how many of you have truly passed the exam? How many of you have changed significantly in the last two months? How many of you have examined your belief systems and found them wanting? Clear examples of value-fulfillment and not achieving it may be seen in Kaetorina’s and the man through whom I speak tendency to try to finish a book instead of understanding it and complimenting themselves for their ability to fathom material that is difficult. Have they spoken with each other? Have they challenged each other about an idea or a phrase? When I told both individuals that they had to restart the book on page one the man through whom I speak is on page zero he has not picked up the book again. Kaetorina?
Jasmine… She is on page two. (Frank laughed.)
Seth… She has not really read page one well and you?
Jasmine… I’m on four.
Seth… And you’re on four. I think my idea here is clearly demonstrated. Each of you if we would go around the table and however you define your gift, whatever that is, and each of you obviously has more than one, how many of you would say that you are using your gifts to at least thirty percent? Twenty percent? How many of you don’t even know how many gifts you have? Yet how many of you complain or are chronically unhappy about things that are not? I believe each of you must learn to change, to split your role, to redefine yourself on a moment-to-moment basis on a, (said slowly), moment to moment basis so that you may enjoy that which you are. Is it not tragic that your scientists in survey after survey find that most individuals are unhappy, that they feel that they are lacking? And so, the question is why? And my question to them is what have you done to improve your ideas about self? What have you changed? Have you acknowledged the fact that you are in pain at times? Do you understand that you cannot fix everyone? What ideas do you have to keep things fresh? How do you use your gifts today? These are questions that empower you, that will help you find yourself if you are lost. Enjoy the challenges that the universe provides you. Open your mind to something different. Be true to self and attempt to reconcile difficulties with others.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Let us continue: Change itself is often looked at as a disaster, something to be feared. Unfortunately, this attitude is too prevalent in this small corner of the physical plane. Are there any questions?
George… I have a question. At the end we were kind of talking about ways you ask yourself, what have you done to improve your ideas about self or have you changed about yourself today things you can reaffirm yourself on a daily basis with?
Seth… Correct.
George… Like I was trying to think about what kind of role changes am I looking to make?
Seth… Let’s ask the most difficult question that you could ask anybody, are you truly content and happy? The answer is?
George… No.
Seth… No. So if you are not truly content and happy and I would assume if I asked everyone at this table they would answer the same way; if you are not truly content and happy one must examine if you will, (Seth tapped the table indicating to take notes and repeated.) not truly content and happy one must examine if you will, that which is causing you difficulties. One cannot improve that which you are (tapped again) until and unless one makes an effort to determine that which is lacking in you, meaning that you are unfulfilled. Now for example, there are numerous instances when a person has decided to do one thing with their existence and all of a sudden, they find out that being a chef is really what they chose to do that will give them value-fulfillment; so that is a major change. Is it necessary to make major changes if you are dissatisfied? The answer is not necessarily but one must determine (More tapping.) that which you are, that which you are responding to in order for you to define yourself by the question I previously asked. Do you understand?
Jasmine, would you like me to pause here while you answer that? (Phone was ringing.) Guess not.
Do you understand?
George… In order to determine what your true nature is you can’t really know what changes you have to make?
Seth… One must determine what… what was the question I asked you? Start with that one.
George… Are you content?
Seth… (Said forcefully.) Are you content? Are you satisfied? Are you happy? Well, if their answer is no and most instances going around this table you would say no. Not just you but in general. So, you must determine that which you are first to understand that which you are not. Do you understand that statement?
George… I understand the statement and I keep running into like what…
Seth… You are trying to find an answer; I’m trying to give you a method. You cannot understand that which you are not until you understand that what you are, and you do this by one, working with the exercise that I gave you last week and taking small gentle steps and saying, “This doesn’t satisfy me; I would like to try that. Well, now that I tried that, well maybe I’ll try this also and maybe I can combine both and maybe I’ll need a third or a seventh or a fourth.” So, defining yourself takes effort and a constant ability to reexamine that which you are. Does this make more sense to you now?
George… It does make sense; I am just frustrated by it.
Seth… What frustrates you?
George… The amount of trial and error.
Seth… There is no trial and error because you cannot fail. See that is the delusion that people have. The delusion is if I don’t do this, I’ll be unhappy. If I don’t have that I’m unhappy, that is a delusion. If you were to take a look at an old soul and these individuals are looking towards something higher. Old souls very commonly are poor. They don’t have material things but yet they are truly content and happy. They are willing to give of themselves and to take from others in a fair and just manner. They define themselves by that which they accomplish not what they do. Do you understand the difference?
George… Yes.
Seth… For example, if someone came to you with an animal that was in dire need of help and through your skill and challenges you made that animal prosper, would you not take great pride in that which you have accomplished?
George… Yes.
Seth… But that is not who you are, it’s your accomplishment that gives you pleasure. And you can accomplish anything whether it be prescribing a pill, whether it be doing surgery, whether it be curing a splinter, it matters not. Do you see the difference?
George… I understand what you are saying but I think I’m still hung up on being what you are in order to accomplish.
Seth… Can you accomplish anything if you do not know what you are?
George… No.
Seth… And is that not the first thing one must do? Because if you are not satisfied with what you are then you are looking for something that you are not. So, until you can make the change, the shift if you will, until you establish who and what you are, until you then will find what you are not and then if that is what you choose to be so be it. You understand?
Jasmine… I don’t understand that line, “you can’t make a shift until you establish…”
Seth… Who and what you are. Do you understand that?
Jasmine… (Mumbling,) Who and what. Make a shift to being happy?
Seth… In anything, happy, content, satisfied. You may find out that what you are is something that is making you unhappy. (Pause.) Do you follow me so far Jasmine?
Jasmine… Then you said something else?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… In establishing what you are not.
Seth… And that will allow you to understand or establish what you are not. If you are not a person who observes negativity but a person who only participates in it, is that profitable for any individual? The answer is no. So, what you are not is a person who can observe and learn as compared to a person who wallows in something.
Isabella… So, what if she… (Unclear.)
Seth… Well, it’s quite simple if you are something that you are not satisfied with, how will you know what you are not? If for example you determine that you no longer enjoy teaching, follow me so far? So, wouldn’t that be necessary if you decide that I do not enjoy teaching and therefore I’m not satisfied. So, you are establishing what you are and then you may look into a different place to try and get it to what you are not at that point of reference.
Jasmine… In that scenario she is…
Seth… She is a teacher.
Jasmine… She knows she…
Seth… She is a teacher.
Jasmine… She knows she is a teacher and that will allow her to know what she isn’t?
Seth… She is not satisfied with being a teacher.
Shanna… Oh, if I say, I am looking at myself, I know I am a teacher and that will help me look at it and see what I am not…
Seth… And I am not happy being a teacher, I am not content with. (Jasmine and Shanna talking at the same time.) Therefore, since you now have established what you are, but you are not content, you must look to what you are not so that you may move and change and move towards that direction. Don’t look at the idea of not as something that is detrimental.
Frank… It is the idea of becoming.
Shanna … Something that you are not already.
Frank… Right, I am not this, this is what I would like to be, but I am not that. Now I will try and make a change to become that! And now, that is what I am.
Isabella… What you are not yet.
Frank… Correct.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… I actually have a question that is off topic, does anyone have a question on topic first?
Arthur… So is it in a way following a longing, following an aspiration, following a desire or is that…
Seth… When you… it could be any of them (tapped table) when you…
Betty… What about when you get to the state where you can suffer what you are not or what you no longer enjoy doing but you are not quite sure what the next thing is?
Seth… Well, that is the challenge; that is the opportunity.
Betty… Oh.
Seth… Arthur, the idea of learning something is not a longing, you know that if you are not for example enjoying something, but you are doing it routinely that is something that you are. Correct?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… Therefore, if it is something that you are and are dissatisfied then one must determine what you are not so that you can work towards that to give yourself value-fulfillment.
Frank… That’s like the idea of acknowledging your pain?
Seth… That does acknowledge your pain.
Frank… Right.
Stephanie… If are not enjoying something that you are doing routinely it is something that you are, if you are dissatisfied then you must determine what you are not…
Seth… You understand why change is quite difficult?
Stephanie… Uh huh. To work towards that to give you value-fulfillment.
Shanna … You must work towards what?
Stephanie… That, you know whether you have to be patient or tolerant, to endure…
Shanna… That…
Stephanie… Whatever, negativity…
Shanna… Work towards that and then what?
Stephanie… To give you value-fulfillment.
Frank… So, this is why when you said in an earlier session that people who tend to be happy embrace change. So, the change is coming quickly before you’re so uncomfortable with pain…
Seth… You stay where you are.
Frank… It just continues to build whereas the person who embraces change, it’s a much more free and easy process.
Seth… Correct.
Are there any other questions?
Frank… (The following involves a question about not moving on from an affair. It has not been edited out because it may be helpful to readers who have found themselves in this painful situation. The point stressed here is that if the couple is going to stay together eventually forgiveness needs to be employed.) I have a question about a patient. I’ve mentioned a couple a number of months ago that I am seeing, and I am seeing them individually. This is the couple where the wife had an affair and now at this point the issue of the husband hearing every detail and if he doesn’t hear every detail, he feels that he is being lied to. And this is understandable because there does seem to be some gaps in the story and that kind of thing. And…
Seth… It is the infliction of pain upon himself that is relishing.
Frank… Yes, he is generating that and…
Seth… And he is building up hatred.
Frank… Correct. But I’m not sure where to go in terms of…
Seth… It’s very simple where to go. You put a stop to it.
Frank… By telling him not to do it?
Seth… Yes, what useful purpose does it serve to hear every lewd detail? Does that not cause you pain? Are you not uncomfortable with it? You already know that something occurred. Why is it necessary for you to compare and contrast yourself to the other gentleman?
Frank… He feels that it is necessary not so much to have every lurid detail…
Seth… Sure, it is because it forces his wife to become a victim and he is paying her back for her indiscretions. You’re dealing with heavy anger here.
Frank… I understand.
Seth… And until the idea of when we are moving on to forgiveness occurs there is no useful purpose in doing anything.
Frank… So, there is no more work that needs to be done on whether or…
Seth… It’s not work. If for example, you and I had an affair; what useful purpose for it to be for someone else such as let’s say Jasmine to hear about our lurid past? And what we did and every detail. Would it not eventually be excruciating for her to hear all of these very intimate details where she is left out? Where she then is hearing this and sooner or later, she becomes angry and aggravated, and she takes out her frustrations on her husband? Well, that is all he is doing; he is literally forcing her to repeat the process again. Because she must take solace somewhere, she’s not getting it from him. He is not learning to move along. He is staying there and demanding every horror that she has to confess to. Well, the question is, how long is she going to want to confess to something which is only causing her more pain? Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine with that.
Seth… Are there any other questions… we will get back to you in a second.
Stephanie… Okay where you say if you are not enjoying something and are doing it routinely it is something that you are, do most people, are most people aware of either what they are not enjoying or what they are doing routinely…
Seth… How many times have you heard the expression, “I do it because I have to.”?
Stephanie… I do it because… okay?
Seth… I think that answers your question.
Stephanie… So, the…
Seth… And most people, when they are uncomfortable in a situation or make the same repeated mistake over and over and over again, make themselves a victim of whatever that is and then they complain that the other person is not helping. So, what happens is they complain that the other person is not helping yet they refuse to change to allow the other person to change as well.
Stephanie… So, what do you do then?
Seth… You ask them, what is keeping you stuck here? Why are you doing the same things over and over again if you are not enjoying them? And their answer is, I don’t know, it’s very hard to change and your answer is no it’s not. What you have to do is learn not to enjoy doing it. If you are going ahead and remaking the same error, then obviously you are enjoying making the same error. You are getting something out of it. So, you can’t complain about it.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… What if you don’t see it as an error?
Seth… Who says they would have to but if they are getting a response from others that is not satisfactory is it an error?
Stephanie… One would think?
Seth… Well, that’s the question you ask. If things are not improving and you keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again then you are obviously doing it for a reason. And the reason is, I don’t want to change, I’m going to force the other person to change which is foolhardy because there can be no change then. You understand?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions? George?
George… I was just thinking about the example that you used with Shanna, saying I am this, I am a teacher unhappy doing this that I am. I want to do something else whether you have a direction or not. I’m just trying to sort through how much of besides the fact that I am satisfied with what I am doing right now I think I know what direction I want to go in…
Seth… Okay.
George… But I don’t feel confidence in that; there are all kinds of…
George… How do you ever reach the value-fulfillment…
Seth… You reach it by understanding that which you are and taking pride in that which you do. So, you are fulfilling a system that you yourself are establishing.
George… I am not sure I understand what you mean by “system”?
Seth… You have a system of living; you have a system of doing things. You are establishing a path for yourself, a road if you will, and that is what is necessary to do. If you accomplish something that is adequate, profitable and enjoyable on that road, you can make changes very easily. It is when you are unhappy, when you are not content, when you are having difficulties that gives most individuals problems. “If I had only! Oh, I should have said that. You know I really needed to do that.” You see the difference now? You are establishing a path that you may choose to take that gives you a sense of increasing your profitability. It may not happen all at once, but it will occur.
George… So, this is the action I take every day in terms of my everyday actions that establishes the pattern that I am living.
Seth… That’s correct and if you are chronically unhappy, dissatisfied or bothered that tells you something.
George… That’s bad.
Seth… It’s not a question of bad, there is nothing wrong with being chronically unhappy if you don’t mind. Do you understand?
George… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… How does fear fit into that?
Seth… Well, it’s fear of change. Fear of being different. Fear is an absence or a lack of.
Arthur… Hmm. And so, when I had my original question which is what are the dangers and benefits of changing the way I work with Susan, this client, the idea is simply to see what I am and then to decide what I am not…
Seth… No, if you know what you are…
Arthur… Okay.
Seth… and it dissatisfies then you must look towards what you are not and move towards it in a profitable manner. Do you understand that, Jasmine?
Jasmine… I think so.
Seth… Excuse me. Explain it to me.
Jasmine… If you know what you are not…
Seth… You must know what first?
Jasmine… If you know what you are…
Seth… Give me one defining thing that you are.
Jasmine… (Jasmine said the question to herself softly a long pause followed.) Loving mother.
Seth… Fine, you are a loving mother. Are you satisfied with that as you are?
Jasmine… Umm, not completely.
Seth… The answer is no.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… So therefore, if you are a loving mother that has certain characteristics…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… But you are not satisfied with those characteristics, correct?
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Then what must you do? Look to what?
Jasmine… What you are not, yet!
Seth… Well, look to what you are not and then you will move towards what you are not to improve your profitability as being a loving mother.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Does that make more sense to you now?
Jasmine… Yeah, I understand that.
Seth… I know but you have difficulty with it.
Jasmine… Yeah, because it’s very…
Seth… It’s not esoteric; it is very clear that if you are unhappy today…
Jasmine… Em.
Seth… and choose to be unhappy tomorrow that is perfectly satisfactory but if you are unhappy today and do not like it then one must make change, one must shift their role to do something different for tomorrow to make it happier.
Betty… (Betty on the phone but was unclear but about learning something.)
Seth… Most likely not, it is experiencing not learning. You may learn all that you choose to do but accomplish nothing. Do you understand? Betty?
Betty… Yeah, I am trying to like concretize what it is you are saying. So, let’s say I’m not a hundred percent satisfied being a prescriber.
Seth… Correct.
Betty… And then I have to examine that and rather than switch gears and do another career or go back to administration or some other thing I could learn more. I mean part of why I am not satisfied is because I have inherited all these people on tons of drugs so if I have learned how to reduce the amount of medications they’re on then perhaps I can feel satisfied. I don’t feel satisfied with drugging the universe. (Laughs.)
Seth… Would you not have accomplished something?
Betty… I’m sorry, I didn’t hear it.
Seth… Would you not have accomplished something if your skills improved?
Betty… That’s my point; perhaps, I don’t know, I have to try it.
Seth… It is the accomplishment; it is the experience that you gain that matters not just I learned something because if you do not apply it what have you learned?
Betty… Oh, then nothing no, that I then would be able to actually accomplish.
Seth… Correct.
Betty… Things with more confidence which I don’t have.
Seth… So now you may move along.
Betty… Got it, okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… Can you give another example of shifting roles?
Seth… What do you not understand by shifting roles? How would you define yourself?
Frank… Um, I would define myself as…
Seth… A person who constantly over analyzes, that’s a good one.
Frank… I don’t think so. (Kidding. Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Are you satisfied with the person who constantly over analyzes his immediate world?
Frank… No.
Seth… So, if you are not satisfied, that is something that you are.
Frank… I understand.
Seth… So therefore, you must look towards something that you are not a person who can accept things as they come to pass without being concerned for every nuance, every piece of a puzzle because it is not necessary to understand everything in order to be profitable.
Frank… So, the role change is essentially shifting the role of being someone who…
Seth… You are moving something towards you are not.
Frank… analyzes everything to someone who doesn’t.
Seth… Correct, that’s simple enough. Do you understand?
Frank… Em hmm.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… Do you have any suggestions for me without asking a futuristic question in terms of what direction or area that I can look to in order to be profitable?
Seth… First of all, just the question itself is always futuristic but let me give you this: if one is dissatisfied one must make lists and you are, of things you enjoy, things that are neutral and things that you do not enjoy. And once you compile these ideas you may say well, I enjoy this, and I will move towards that or move toward in that direction. Now, you must give yourself an ability to say, “Ah, I thought I would, but I really don’t, or I thought I would and I like it much more then I could have ever believed.” So, there is an idea of setting goals. The idea here of setting goals! There is no one who is profitable without setting a goal. Does that give you a sense of direction?
George… Just continue how I am doing what I am doing.
Seth… Yes, because that is the only path that you have. I could tell you what you would be happy on, but who knows if you would like it.
George… How is that different?
Seth… Because each individual has a myriad of paths that they can take. If I look to the most common ones for you who says they will be truly value-fulfillment. Just because I said so doesn’t make you agree with me. My perceptions are better than yours but who is living the life, you or me?
George… Me.
Seth… I suggest you do so and don’t ask. You don’t need guidance of how to go. What you need is guidance to examine self… large difference. Are there any other questions?
Frank… Could you define value-fulfillment again, please?
Seth… I believe you can look up in any one of the myriads of books that I have written.
Frank… I know but it will be like…
Seth… I know and so, that is one of the things that you are going to report back to us next week that you have looked at it, and defined it.
Jasmine… Does it have to do with your belief system?
Seth… Not only is it a believe system Jasmine, it is that which internally gives you a sense of profitability. If that which gives you a sense of enjoyment of your incarnation. And our friend Frank will report back in detail from my previous writings, next week. That is the first question I shall ask.
Jasmine… What if you are a person who sabotages your profitability, your sense of accomplishment?
Seth… Now, let us look at the fact as a simple matter.
Jasmine… I mean there are a lot of people who do that.
Seth… It doesn’t matter who does it whether it be the man through whom I speak whether it be you whether it be Arthur whether it be anyone who sits around this table. You sabotage yourself because you don’t feel that you are worth being profitable. That is the basic answer to the question. You don’t feel that you yourself are worth being profitable, so you constantly repeat the same mistakes. You constantly repeat that which is not helpful. You refuse to make a change, you become steadfast, and you repeat the same poor judgment systems over and over and over again. It is making yourself not only a victim of yourself but is pushing you further away in reality from that which you truly desire. Remember you can demand anything of anyone and even if they promise or give it to you, it doesn’t mean you have succeeded at anything. Do you understand, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… Are you satisfied with the answer?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… The idea of setting goals, you know, is an interesting one in terms of shifting roles.
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… You know the idea that once you see what you are not happy in, you know when you are saying, you know you can learn all you choose to but accomplish nothing. You can understand it, but it doesn’t mean you are changing it.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, if you force yourself to literally write down goals and say well, I don’t like the way I am with this or this doesn’t make me happy the way this thing is, if you don’t make goals for yourself of how you are going to change something, nothing will change.
Seth… And nothing ever does.
Stephanie… Right, but just the idea of looking at concretely like that…
Seth… Use Jasmine’s example here of a loving mother. It is the perfect example that one may use in any number of situations. Well, loving mother may become so overbearing or make so many suggestions or become so involved with a child that the child is stifled and cannot grow and therefore the greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to fail. So is that not a measure of a loving parent giving your child the ability to fail.
Stephanie… Yeah, it is just the idea of a person like if Jasmine were to write down literally ways in which she would work towards that in a list.
Seth… What is a goal?
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… What do I choose to do? I choose not to offer opinions. I choose to offer opinions. I choose to not be afraid. I choose to worry because my daughter’s actions are foolhardy. I can go in either direction, it matters not.
Stephanie… En hmm.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, I just think that when you are writing down the goal thing it’s giving yourself a message that…
Seth… It is giving you a sense of…
Stephanie… you have to do things.
Seth… profitability. Therefore, the statement that the man through whom I speak often states, “How would a profitable man act,” is a goal. (Actually, the question is usually how would a prosperous man act? This is a very powerful exercise that the reader could undertake. One first must understand that prosperity is whatever you perceive as a positive direction in whatever aspect of living you view. Then simply throughout the day ask the question, “How would a prosperous man/woman act?” and over time you will find that you tend to head in a direction of growth and prosperity.)
Stephanie… Em.
Seth… So, he is willing to change within that situation.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Change is never to be feared. Use your gifts to inspire yourself. Don’t try to be the one who fixes the world. Shift what you are into that which you choose to become and in doing so your needs will be fulfilled and your wants lessened. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here again. At best we will deal with the idea of a very large and hopefully not overwhelmingly complicated housekeeping session. Before we get into that we shall delve into a little bit more complicated housekeeping work. To our friend Frank thank you for your timely giving of the typed material, it is much appreciated.
Now that being said we will go into a little more of housekeeping work. George, I believe that some of the things that you should be involved with here are in terms of a meditation on your part. In terms of starting out on a day-to-day basis. And what I would suggest that you do is to empty your mind of any not tranquil thoughts and just basically allow yourself to float freely.
George… Anything in my mind that is not tranquil thoughts? Only allow those… (thoughts that may be pleasant?)
Seth… No, I want you to empty your mind of all thoughts and float freely. If you find yourself focusing on anything, whether it be pleasant or unpleasant it matters not. So, I’d like you to attempt on a routine basis to do this exercise because I believe that you must first learn to get in touch with your inner self, the individual who you are truly responsible to is of course you. The only way that you are going to find yourself is to allow your inner self to come forth. Do you understand so far?
George… I hear the words, but I can’t say I understand them.
Seth… Okay. What do you not understand about this?
George… I’ve tried mediation before.
Seth… No. You are trying to focus on something. I don’t want you to focus on anything. In other words, you are to sit quietly, listen to your breathing, listen to the sounds that are around you, and whatever tends to come forward meaning from within you, not from without, take notice thereof. And this is the inner core of your personality that you have lost somewhere along the way. So that is part of your homework that you must indeed endeavor to do. Do you understand a little better now?
George… Yes
Seth… I am not looking for you to concentrate on anything. I do not want you to say a mantra. I do not want you to do anything but to learn to just be yourself. And the way you be yourself is to finally get in touch with you. You do this by literally you’ll excuse the expression, doing nothing. So that is the first order of business there. Once you have mastered this, you are to do this a minimum of four times a day and you may take anywhere from two to four minutes each time. We are not dealing with hours at a time here although you can certainly eventually start expanding your time. (Of course, you the reader can try this getting in touch with your inner self exercise. F.N.)
Jasmine… What happens Seth, because I have tried many times when the thoughts come that are not productive?
Seth… Push them away. No thought is unproductive. So that is the first order of business that you must…
Jasmine… But the unpleasant thoughts, the ones you might be obsessing about…
Seth… No thought is unproductive. You allow yourself to not focus upon that thought.
Jasmine… You acknowledge it?
Seth… It is not even a question of acknowledging anything. The more you acknowledge it, the more things will come. In other words, let us assume for example that you are sitting quietly and peacefully and dealing with what is. You are going to and all of a sudden, a thought or a feeling about Isabella comes in that is unpleasant. You take notice thereof and just move it away. You don’t concentrate on it, you don’t acknowledge it, you just move it away. It’s there, goodbye. That’s basically what you have to do. And this is the start, and I would not like even the idea of the understanding of the word of meditation here at all. For this is not meditation. This is an opening of yourself up to the inner you. So please leave the word meditation out of the idea of what you are doing, but for the purposes of explanation we will use the idea of the word meditation. Do you understand? That’s the first thing.
The second bit of housekeeping Jasmine, really concerns you in terms of your own destructive tendencies to promote weakness within self. You understand what I mean when I say the word wanting. Do you not?
Jasmine… Yes
Seth… In other words, wanting leaves you with nothing. Is that correct?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… So, the question then arises, what occurs when you routinely tell yourself you cannot?
Jasmine… So, you can’t.
Seth… Correct. So, you rob yourself of an ability to do something. In other words, if you tell yourself, you are not strong enough to lift a carton, then you are telling yourself you are not strong enough not only to lift the carton, but to do various other things. And what you then bring to yourself is an inability, a lack if you will, of an ability to accomplish any sort of a physical task. It then carries over into the idea that you have an inability to do mental work as well. Do you understand how one fits with the other? The idea here is that your thoughts play on your feeling which give rise to emotional responses to that which you are. Do you understand this so far?
Jasmine… Your thoughts play on your emotions which give rise to feelings.
Seth… To feeling to that which you believe. So, if you routinely say, I cannot lift something you are telling yourself that you are weak.
Jasmine… That I understand. I am not sure if I understand the leap from the weak physically to the weak emotionally.
Seth… Please explain the difference between the weak physically and the weak emotionally.
Jasmine… Well, we only have a certain amount of physical strength required to…
Seth… Without trying, you do not know what you have. I am not saying that you should go ahead and try to lift an automobile. There are few people here who could do that. Yet if you then all went out and try to move or lift a car or somebody, I guarantee that all of you, the seven of you could accomplish that if you would then apply yourselves. Weak physically means weak emotionally. One goes with the other. When you tell yourself you cannot, when you become resistant to, you again become a victim first of all of self and then of everyone else. So, you must learn to practice the idea of strength. Do you understand?
Jasmine… I do not know necessarily where this is coming from but okay.
Seth… It is not a question of coming from anywhere. We are dealing here with the idea of individuals who have been given a task and within that task they go ahead and either do not understand what they are doing, do not fulfill their promises, do not understand what they have set before themselves. In other words, let us take a look for example at Kaetorina. She was having difficulties. Well, she was assigned a book to read. And if she had bothered to take the idea and time to read and understand, instead of reading to get through it…
Stephanie… Painful! (Group laughter.)
Seth… Then of course she promotes self. When of course she decides to read to get through it, she loses that which she should have gained. Therefore, she is starting at page one again.
Stephanie… (Moans, laughs.) I was almost on 200. Shoot myself!!
Seth… And she will be required to go back to the beginning again and to deal with every page as if it were new. Just as an aside, please tell the man through whom I speak that he starts on page one too since he has not fulfilled his work and dedication therein, so he starts again.
Isabella… Can I ask a question about this…about this conversation? (Laughter from the peanut gallery because Isabella may be trying to get around asking a question off topic.)
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… I’m just very curious about how you practice strength. Because I really like the expression weak physically means weak emotionally, you have to practice strength, but how do you do that?
Seth… By doing it.
Isabella… Just being strong in situations.
Seth… In all situations. Once you tell yourself you cannot, you cannot. That means you’re wanting, you’re lacking. There is a void within yourself. It is a definition that one must use to help define themselves. For example, if you define yourself, as an example, as George does, by his job, or he believes that he does, what does that mean about everything else? Everything else has fallen by the wayside. So, the idea here is that you never define yourself by a specific idea. You define yourself from an internal source, and that is more connectable to the real you. And you practice being strong, by being strong. The idea of a person who says I can’t, I won’t, do it for me, it’s too much for me, is practicing weakness and victimization of self. The individual who says please do this with me, even though I know it’s heavy for me, but I will do this with you, is practicing strength. They may not have the physical ability to do something, but they have the mental strength to get assistance when they need it.
Isabella… So, for example when I went snowboarding alone on the mountain… (Seth glared.) …It’s related to this.
Seth… I warned you.
Isabella… How is that not related?
Seth… It is not related. I answered a specific question. Snowboarding is outside your realm. Start typing.
Let us get back to the other idea here of my six points that we delve into before. (Jasmine sighed) Do you have a problem, Jasmine?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… The sigh sounded like you had a problem. (There was kidding around and laughter with group and Jasmine about having to do work to be strong.) What would you like to say?
Jasmine… I don’t know.
Stephanie… I have a question related to her. I don’t know whether you relate to this but in terms of Jasmine, she has had quite a medical history. I think there was some trauma and scarring for her emotionally. Does that factor into her perception of her ability?
Seth… Of course, it does. But the real issue is not where even no matter how ill she was recently, the weakness does not stem from there. The weakness stems from her upbringing where if something is withdrawn if you don’t do something, you become weaker. You have a void; you have a lack within self. Therefore, to regain strength you then start depending upon others to do for you. Yes, it is far too easy to use illness as an excuse for lack of strength. But in this instance, it does not stem from there.
Stephanie… So, it is an emotional basis?
Seth… It is an emotional basis which is not based upon fact. Going back to our six points, a sigh by Jasmine, if you don’t know them you may pass around the sheet to review them and what they are. Each of you has missed, if you will, many opportunities when you look at those six points. And what we must start to do is to look at them and delve into, if you will, that which you believe you have missed, things that you have overlooked, in terms of how you are functioning at this particular point of reference. We may all have an opportunity to look at those points, pick one, two, or all six if you will, and discuss that which you have missed and how you tend to choose to rectify, so that you’re better able to make change.
Betty… Can someone read me the points?
Seth… You may read her the six points.
Stephanie… (Reads all six and there is conversation back and forth. Here are the six points. The reader should consider reviewing these six ideas that can help you facilitate change and perhaps write down what you may have missed and what to do to rectify to effect change in your life. F.N.)
One must decide which bridge in life is necessary to cross and which bridge is necessary to burn.
Two people who love each other do not look at each other but always learn to look together.
The person who takes your hand and then touches your heart is a true friend.
We rarely think of what we have but only what we miss.
Great events in a lifetime are usually the most quiet.
Differences in people make you and the family stronger.
Seth… Therefore, let us start with anyone who has an idea or feeling about any one of the points, or two it matters not, and we shall look into and delve into these ideas.
Frank… In terms of self, correct?
Seth… Well, it would certainly be that unless you feel that I have been making an error. You may certainly…
Frank… Now as it pertains to self I mean.
Seth… Of course.
Frank… I’ll start with the concept of appreciating what you have. I feel that, particularly lately, I mean while I’m noticing, I’m here at the table, I have good friends, I have family, financially things are good. I have, I’m very blessed. Yet, particularly in the last couple of days and maybe weeks, my feelings about self are negative, not good. I don’t feel… I intellectually understand, even a little bit more than intellectually understand that I am blessed but yet somewhere I feel not blessed at all. I feel unworthy.
Seth… I believe greatly in the idea that when somebody looks at themselves and tries to establish a routine of changing themselves, they change themselves of course by dealing with core beliefs. And one of the ideas that I have given to George is to attempt to look at the inner portion of self and you get in touch with that by looking at belief systems. Belief systems have been taught to you by your parents, by friends, relatives. And the core belief on many issues is hidden. It is hidden because it becomes camouflaged with day to day-to-day events. And these types of events often go unnoticed, unappreciated if you will. And so, when you don’t appreciate that which you are, you will find that you concentrate on what there is not. I am not wealthy, I don’t have enough money, I have too many bills. A great deal of this lack stems because you do not believe enough in self. If you know that your stack of bills is huge, one cannot wish them away, but one can learn to find ways so you can eliminate and decrease that which you owe by promoting self. Whether it be all of a sudden getting another job, whether it be cutting down on expenses that you do not currently see, whether it be just appreciating that my debt is not as overwhelming as I believe that it was. All these factors go into the idea that when we make changes, we do not have to look at what we do not have, but we must concentrate on what we are and what we perceive that we are. Do you understand?
Frank… Intellectually.
Seth… I do not ask you to know this as fact yet, but these are things that you have missed over many years and sometimes in instances that go around this table over lifetimes. So therefore, one cannot expect change to be instantaneous. That is an erroneous belief because you do not have the skill to make the change that is instantaneous for such a magnitude of difficulty. There are individuals who do. You do not.
It was specific for you.
Frank… I don’t have problems with bills.
Seth… It is not a question of problems with bills, when you do not like yourself…
Frank… That’s more specific to me. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Those are your bills. Do you understand now?
Frank… Yeah. I understand.
Seth… Who would like to be next?
Stephanie… Are you talking about where in our life we have gone…
Seth… In these six points and changes where you have missed opportunities.
Stephanie… Okay. So, the first one would be you know with my father for example. That I didn’t burn this bridge fifteen years ago. That I was wanting for something else, and you know kind of let it burn.
Seth… No. That is not a factual statement. When you are dealing with individuals, the question arises, when you cross a bridge, when you walk over and take a new sense of direction, does that mean that you leave out and never deal with that individual again? Well, there are many times when you can do that. But there are just as many times when you cannot do that. But the point of crossing a bridge in terms that you can understand is not becoming affected by their actions.
Stephanie… You are talking about my actions.
Seth… No. Their actions.
Stephanie… What about their actions?
Seth… If you allow someone else’s actions to affect you…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… you are then mired down by their difficulties. You have given over yourself to them in terms of their difficulties. Do you understand this so far?
Stephanie… Yeah, and I made it mine.
Seth… And you made it your difficulty. So many years ago, if you had crossed over to the idea of I am not going to become victimized by my father, I am going to understand what he is, I am going to appreciate what has gone on, but I do not have to participate in his difficulties. That is the change, that is the burning the bridge behind you. It is not necessarily not dealing with the individual because A) it might not be practical, it may be detrimental, but the difficulty here is the idea that for you, you want to end your suffering.
Stephanie… Right. So, I was talking about burning the bridge of wanting him to be different. I would have approached it differently like you said, I would have said this isn’t acceptable to me, either do this or that, and if he didn’t, I would leave it go.
Seth… That’s correct.
Stephanie… Which I did not do.
Seth… Which you didn’t do and the opportunity to promote self was lost.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… It is the same idea when somebody is constantly saying, this is good enough for you but not good enough for me. Those presents are good enough for you, but not for my children. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And that is the degree of difficulty you are dealing with here. It is the idea of where do I cut off something that no longer serves me.
Stephanie… So, had I done this years ago…?
Seth… You would never be in the position you are now.
Stephanie… Right so you mean it’s because I had to up the ante for me to get the lesson?
Seth… Correct. The lesson, all lessons keep magnifying themselves. The universe constantly provides you with opportunities for advancement. Now the question here is, what do I mean by the term advancement? Well, it has many difficulties. Languages are a poor source of information. Advancement here means the ability to accept the change easily. It is experience that you get when dealing with difficult situations. All situations that present “problems” must be viewed as a challenge and an opportunity. The second you become a victim of that idea you cannot win.
Stephanie… So how would it have played out? I would have just left it; I wouldn’t have needed…
Seth… You wouldn’t have needed the…
Stephanie… business thing.
Seth… Correct. It wasn’t even the business thing. You would not have needed the idea that he would have paid you any attention. You don’t want to come, don’t come. You don’t want to see my children, it’s your loss. You don’t want to be a part of my life; well, you lost a daughter. How do you feel about that?
Stephanie… So, the position I am in right now and how I feel about it, and how I am going to approach this, it would have been the same, but fifteen years ago.
Seth… No, you would not have had the anger that you have now. You would not have the resentment of that you have now.
Stephanie… Oh, because I let it all occur.
Seth… You let it go on.
Stephanie… Right, so I would have not be dealing with it at all like that.
Seth… Correct
Stephanie… But would the relationship have been the same?
Seth… Well, I won’t answer that question.
Stephanie… Why not?
Seth… Move along. (Group laughter.)
Stephanie… So, you can say you know that I lost out in that way then. That I needed to bring it in a black and white terms.
Seth… It is not even the question of black and white. It is a question of you learning from experience. Did you ever notice that your chance encounters with one individual or many individuals tend to be repetitious upon things that you are having difficulty with?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Your seasonal players tend to fall into certain categories. And they do this because you are involved in a specific line of study. So, until you finish with that line of study, what do you expect?
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Things repeat themselves because all questions have not been asked and answered fully. Do you understand so far?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you have any other questions?
George… If we are sticking to the theme of which of these we have missed out on the most, I think the fourth point of rarely thinking about what we have and only what we miss has been a big recurring theme in my life and not being able to understand where I am at. And constantly dwelling on paths, choices and past decisions of not to take certain paths and what effect those do or do not have on myself now. I think that is one of the hardest…
Seth… Well, let us ask a simple question. How do you define yourself?
George… I define myself based on…
Seth… It is a simple question. If you were asked to please describe and how do you describe George? How do you define you? Let’s make the question simpler. Do you like you?
George… Sometimes.
Seth… Poor choice. So therefore, that is where you start with the idea of your concentrating on what you miss. What you miss is the most important thing you can ever possibly imagine. Do you have any idea of what you are missing?
George… Myself.
Seth… Yes, you are missing you. Because you can’t define you. And since you cannot define self, either because of the way you were brought up, or your belief systems, or both, which are factual. Then if you can’t define you, what do you expect of you? And the answer is misery. Becoming uncertain, becoming fearful, becoming afraid of if I don’t get that, I won’t have that. And therefore, you cannot define yourself in any way but something that is negative because you don’t know who you are. Which falls back upon my original housekeeping chore for you, find out who you are. And that is why I gave you the exercise to do. Does that make more sense to you now?
George… Yes. It is a very daunting prospect. (Laughter.)
Seth… It is not a question of daunting. It is a question of doing. No one may tell you what to do or not to do. No one should say this is right, this is wrong. The only thing that you must understand is that your greatest point of power is now. And that is what you must start with, and that is how you find yourself. Does that help?
George… A little bit.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just want to ask about, do differences in people make you and the family stronger? Are you talking about differences in terms of, if we are to use the whole Farther thing, differences, he’s this way, I’m that way?
Seth… Possibly, certainly.
Stephanie… So, making me stronger because I had to go through this and looking at the differences of what I would expect, what he values and all that.
Seth… Would you do the same to your children from the experience you had
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Then I believe that difference in people make you and your family stronger.
Stephanie… Okay, so it’s the learning from.
Seth… It is the experience gained by. Remember, you may learn something but not apply it. (Seth taps the table indicating the need to take notes.) You may learn something but not apply it. Jasmine. (Taps again.)
Stephanie… So, when you are talking about differences you are not necessarily saying…
Seth… Good or bad. I am not talking…depending on how you define them.
Stephanie… It’s what you do with them, what you do with the differences.
Seth… Of course. In any situation where there is more than one individual it is far too easy to point the finger at the other person and say that is the problem that we are having is due to you. The question arises. Is there a possibility that you could be wrong? Number two, if you tell everybody that you have blonde hair and everybody looks around the table and says to you, no I am sorry you have red hair, is there a possibility that you are not seeing self for what it is? So therefore, you must not only look towards self, but you must understand what others are saying to you on a specific point of study. Does it repeat itself? Does the universe give you the same information over and over and over again? Because if it does, then ask yourself the question, could I be wrong? And if I am wrong, why am I blaming someone else when I should be studying myself. That is the differences that you should look for to make you and the family stronger. So, the question arises. Do you have blonde hair?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… I believe that the illustration there is apt. I believe at this point we shall take a short break.
Seth… Let us continue. Anyone else have a question or something that they would like to go over?
Isabella… Am I allowed or not?
Seth… Depends on if it is on topic.
Isabella… Um, in relationship to we rarely think of what we have, but only think of what we miss. I think that I do that all the time.
Seth… You do that because again a great deal of what you believe to be true is a lack. Something that you do not perceive as having something. In other words, you tend to want someone to care for you. You tend to want someone to provide for you, meaning there is a lack
within you. So, you’re concentrating routinely on that which you do not have instead of what you have. And this has been taught to you and has been reinforced by you.
Isabella… From growing up?
Seth… And therefore, when you emulate the idea of I do not, instead of I do, you tend to miss. So, what you then do is you look at what you are missing instead of saying let’s reexamine myself. Well, if one were to ask you to define yourself, what is your one good attribute?
Isabella… What is one…
Seth… One good attribute of you?
Isabella… Umm, a good attribute, I think I am very intelligent.
Seth… Besides being very intelligent. Something more important. What are you? A what?
Isabella… A teacher, a sumari.
Seth… You are a sumafi (This is a category or very large family of souls who have certain attributes. In this case the sumafi are often teachers.) And that is the one attribute that you have absolutely no problem dealing with.
Isabella… No. (Said in agreement.)
Seth… So therefore, if you are a sumafi, and you are, a teacher, then therefore you do not question the fact that you can teach. And therefore, do you ever look at the idea that I am excellent at what I do? The answer is that you don’t do that properly. Why do I state that? Because in your retelling of the story, I had 29 children out of 62, I believe if the answer is correct, that got a four on an exam, you are waiting for someone to go and pat you on the back and say you did a wonderful job. And if truth be told, you feel an emptiness when people do not. That is how you are concentrating on what you are missing instead of what you are having. Does that make it clear?
Isabella… Yes
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Betty… Yeah, I’m still stuck with the bridge. In terms of crossing the bridge, and not becoming affected by other’s actions, I guess my question is when you are no longer affected by other’s actions, then why would you necessarily stay with the relationship?
Seth… You stay with any relationship, as you routinely do, because of fear. And in reality, therein you have not crossed the bridge. In other words, if you are staying in a situation…
Betty… That no longer serves, so I can let it go.
Seth… It is not a question of just letting it go, it is a question of ending.
Betty… That’s what I mean. Ending it.
Seth… No, you meant what you said. I am sorry. I am a better therapist than you are.
Betty… I am not a therapist. (Betty is a Nurse Practitioner.)
Seth… You understand the principal very well. And so therefore when you end something you do not have to go ahead and become affected by that something. When you stay in there, when you allow things to accumulate, if you will, you have a great tendency here to allow individuals to victimize you. And this has been a characteristic of yours for many lifetimes.
Betty… Okay.
Seth… So, if you allow people to take advantage of you, what is your experience?
Betty… So that is the point where I get hung up. I can work very hard; retrain the way I view my perspective on a situation. When in reality there is a point in time where you stop that, and you just get out.
Seth… What does the word “no” mean to you?
Betty… Um, an end.
Seth… Then let me ask you a question. Since it is obvious you do not know what the word no means, what do you believe you should do?
Betty… Are you… I’m lost. Not following.
Seth… In other words, if someone or something is not profitable for you and you have just stated I should get out, so that means an end of a situation and the answer is no, I do not want to participate in this anymore. Do you understand that statement?
Betty… Yes, I understand that.
Seth… Okay, so what does the word “no” really mean to you?
Betty…. That’s enough.
Seth… No, it doesn’t. What it really means to you is, I think about it, I’ll mull it over, I’ll give it a second chance, well, maybe I’m being too harsh. I know things can be different. Do you understand what I am saying?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Since you have no concept of the word no, you are getting what you asked for.
Betty… Correct.
Seth… It is a question of putting yourself in the center at your greatest point of power, which is now, and understanding that if this is not serving me, this ends.
Betty… Yeah, because I get hung up in understanding things from the other perspective.
Seth… No, you do not… Who is the most important person that you know?
Betty… That is where I am constantly stuck.
Seth… I understand, who is the most important person that you know?
Betty… Self
Seth… You don’t mean that do you?
Betty… No. (Laughing.)
Seth… I understand that. I wouldn’t have asked the question the way I did. Well, isn’t it about time you explored the most important person that you know?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… And you do this by following the exercise I gave George earlier this evening. You have to do this.
Betty… Okay.
Seth… Does that make more sense now?
Betty… Yes. That is exactly where I was at tonight. This is perfect for me today.
Seth… I am glad I could be of some assistance. Remember there is a two-letter word you must practice, and that word is no. Do you understand?
Betty… Got it. Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Yes. On the same issue of deciding on which bridge to cross and which to burn, which is really about promoting self, I keep doing it and I do it, I don’t clarify it. I don’t take steps that I know I need to take or even want to take.
Seth… With your sister.
Arthur… My sister, changing my career, doing what’s good for me, with burning a bridge towards people who are perpetrators. All of that. Why is it so difficult for me to assess my own performance? Why do I second guess my life?
Seth… Abandonment is the issue for you. Don’t you feel abandoned?
Arthur… Yes, I think I do. (Said softly.)
Seth… So, if you feel abandoned then how can you cross a bridge, burn it behind you when you are leaving that which you felt abandoned by?
Arthur… So how do I change that?
Seth… You change it by understanding the self, meaning the larger you is here to gather experiences. Well, the question is, what type of experiences do you choose to gather? If we choose to gather experiences that are not profitable, how does it serve you?
Arthur… I guess it’s a negative line of study. (Laughs.) I don’t know.
Seth… No, it is not a question of a line of study. A negative line of study as Lee Chang does, a negative line of study is immensely profitable for him. Something that is not positive to a scientist is just as important as something that is. But a negative line of study, things that hurt you, things that you do not gain profitable experience from should be stopped. And by crossing the bridge or in this instance your refusal to do so, because what is the repeatable problem here? The repeatable problem is that these types of situations in your life repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. And if you like we can take a look at seven or eight of them and notice how they all repeat themselves.
Arthur… Maybe just two or three. (Laughs.) Really quickly.
Seth… It is really simple. Your sister is for one, a death was certainly for two in terms of abandonment, changing your career is an abandonment issue for you. Do I have to go further? They’re all repeatable on the same issue.
Arthur… Yeah, and they go all the way back. They all go all the way back to when I was born, and I am sure they go back further than that. But at least when I was born.
Seth… There you go. Do you understand? The question is you can certainly repeat them and if you don’t get them in this life, you will get them in the next or the next or the next.
Arthur… So, it’s facing whatever, I think…
Seth… Not facing, it’s not facing.
Arthur… Taking the action that…
Seth… It is understanding and learning from the experience. Do you understand? It is something to work on.
Arthur… Thank you.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… The idea of taking someone by the hand and touching their heart. Are there any provisions or changes in that concept when the person that you are trying to take by the hand has hurt you? As opposed to just, they have gone a wrong direction?
Seth… Well, it is the same thing.
Frank… I thought it was but…
Seth… It is the exact same thing. If someone, if you’re going to go ahead and let us use you and the man through whom I speak for instance, well he may say something that hurts you. He may observe you doing something that hurts or bothers you? Understand so far?
Frank… Em hmm.
Seth… And let’s assume he states this to you, whether it be correctly or incorrectly matters not. But yet the reason that he did this is to act in terms of being a friend. I see you doing this to yourself. You’re not thinking, you’re not seeing something clearly. You are not making progress. You are falling back on your old ways. So, the touching of your heart is literally in this instance a figurative expression, meaning to grab you and to say look with me. Change your sense of perspective. This is what I am seeing. Look with me.
Frank… The question is more if say for example Cyndi does something that hurts my feelings.
Seth… You mean the slime that you are married to. The evil… (Laughter.)
Frank… Whatever the slime did…
Seth… No, no, I am being…
Frank… or if she does something to hurt me…
Seth… Was it willful?
Frank… No. It would probably not be. Well, you know it could be. That is one division and that’s the other. Let’s ask not willful?
Seth… In either event…
Frank… Honey, you hurt me so I take her by the hand and I say when you do this, this hurts my feelings.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… So, it’s basically, it’s exactly the same steps as if she did something else that hurt herself but doesn’t necessarily hurt me. Correct? That was the question. What if it is willful? Then it is the same thing anyway.
Seth… Same thing. Matters not.
Frank… Only you might say please stop.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Do you understand?
Frank… I understand.
Seth… Anybody else have a question?
Arthur… Can I ask something about this theme that I was working on last week about not being entitled?
Seth… No, not being entitled is again the fourth point. You rarely think of what you have, but only what you miss.
Arthur… I keep myself from having all that I can have.
Seth… Whether or not you are keeping yourself from whatever you do not have. If you concentrate on lack,
Arthur… You do not have.
Seth… You get wanting. Which is exactly what you are concentrating on. Does that make sense to you?
Arthur… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… Yeah, I have a couple. On topic, last week I came across, I picked up a book I hadn’t picked up in months and there was, that people need to not look at each other, but with each other. And…
Seth… This has been said many times, it is by an old French philosopher.
Frank… Right. He wrote The Little Prince. I looked it up and I wasn’t able to tell Jerry yet. Um… I chose to pick up, at that point to create that?
Seth… No. The universe provided it for you.
Frank… Correct. (Laughter and group by-play) What am I talking about?
Seth… If you were to look at each of the points individually…
Frank… I have…
Seth… You could very easily find those ideas in a myriad of words, a myriad of different types of things, some exact, some slightly different, some more, some less. What I have done with these six points is at best said to paraphrase them to give each of you an idea of where change is necessary. The idea of when to cross a bridge, when not to cross a bridge, to work together with people instead of butting heads together, to when you love someone let them touch your heart, don’t be standoffish, even if it is a criticism they are giving you. Learn to accept these types of things. Look at the idea of what you do not have as compared to what you have. Which is more profitable for you? What you have or what you do not have? The idea that and none of you have mentioned this that the greatest moments, the most important things in your life, are not a supernova.
Frank… That was going to be my next question.
Seth… They are quiet events. They are things that when you look back upon them, when you reflect back, my god I made such a change here, or I missed an opportunity there. These are the types of things. Was I so resistant to change that I could not hear? These are great events.
Frank… The great events have to do with…
Seth… Change always, always.
Frank… And that change could be quiet, like for example if at some point I am no longer in the forest that would be a great change.
Seth… Not in this lifetime (kidding), but certainly yes. The idea here is when you see a difference with you or someone else “family.” Well, the idea here is are the differences that you see pulling you apart or can you learn from them and appreciate change that you might have to make, or they might have to make? Remember you are not alone. You work with individuals, and many of them. So, the differences that you see and feel are often very important. Far too many individuals state, if that person would do this, if that person would do that, then I can do this, and they wouldn’t do this. That is not a difference. That is pointing a finger at someone. And the differences that you say here is well, they have an idea about something. And if they have an idea about something, and I do not see that idea let’s explore it together. Let’s look together, that’s a difference. That’s a difference that is beneficial. If I have been told one thing and the next person tells me something similar, and the third person tells me something similar, and the blonde sitting over here (referencing Stephanie) then there are possibilities and the differences I am hearing may be enough to cause me to look at myself so I can become greater than what I think I am. All this is change. All this is done so that you gather experience to make choices that influence your outer self. And this is always done from inside to out, not outside to in. Go ahead.
Frank… In terms of having found that quote and then was I… was it correct for me to surmise, I also connected it to, the patient that I have that is always seeing the grass greener and having trouble with the grass is greener?
Seth… That’s crossing a bridge.
Frank… And he hasn’t
Seth… And he never will. Unless he decides, it doesn’t matter. If I had a better job, if my house was better, if I had a better car, if my dog or cat was better than the neighbors. It matters not. There is always something. That when you have a lack within yourself, you will see others as being better, more important, more prosperous, more this, I don’t have enough money. I can’t find the right dress. My suit isn’t good enough. I don’t like my tie. I won’t get a new job that I want. All this is lack, it’s an emptiness, a void. And we handled this for a long time.
Frank… Well, what I’m asking is that I thought that the universe gave me this information for me but then also for secondary…
Seth… No, I’ve given you the information for yourself and I told you long before this incident occurred that you are a teacher.
Frank… I understand.
Seth… And that you are to pass this information along. If I just wanted to write a book I would sit down and I would dictate a book. But this is more profitable because each of you can go out and pass the word. And the one word that you pass to somebody that they pick up will be passed to someone else, and then be passed to someone else. For example, Jasmine’s statement in her class, what would love do, well this has affected so many young individuals that by the time she ends her incarnation it could number in the hundreds of thousands. So, the idea here is how do you perceive self in that instance? Is it more profitable to perceive yourself as a victim or a hero? I believe the hero is far more profitable. But yet if you look at yourself and say I don’t have, I didn’t, I can’t, I will not, I’m weak. What do you have? The answer is nothing but misery.
Frank… But again, I think what I am asking here specifically is did I, or did I not…
Seth… I’ve answered your question.
Frank… Alright.
Isabella… But why would anybody choose that?
Seth… Choose what?
Isabella… I can’t. I won’t. I’m weak.
Seth… Why do you?
Isabella… I don’t think I choose that.
Seth… Of course, you do. (Isabella was mumbling, grappling with this.) You do! And that is a statement of fact. If you need somebody to take care of you, you choose weakness.
Isabella… Alright.
Seth… Then we are finished with that. Is there anything else?
Frank… Questions from connecting to other past sessions to this material, so when dealing with self the idea of belief in self, belief in self should eventually turn into faith in self. Is that part of… (While Belief Verses Faith has been mentioned it is covered extensively as the next major topic that Seth lectures on starting with Session 411.)
Seth… Belief is closed ended. Faith is …
Frank… You start with belief, but then one should have faith in themselves.
Seth… I believe that one should never have a belief in self because once that belief may be shaken by something else that occurs, you tend to fall apart.
Frank… It is like self-esteem that goes up and down?
Seth… Correct. You need to always have faith in self, not belief.
Frank… Well, you are working towards it. If one does not have faith in self then one has to work towards it.
Seth… Towards faith in self. Nothing to do with belief. Nothing to do with belief.
Frank… Alright, okay. In terms of strengthening self, there was a session about the third eye. But there was not of much of any kind of an explanation. Could you, and particularly if it was going to be taught to others, how would that work in terms of the idea strengthening self?
\Seth… You strengthen self by taking in that which the universe provides. That is seeing. If you are open on the exercises, all information comes from the internal self. So, you must be open to see what there is.
Jasmine… Does the third eye bring information from the inside through our awareness?
Seth… The third eye as you will understand it, the third eye…
Jasmine… The chakra, yeah.
Seth… is an awareness of. But where does the greatest awareness stem from? Inside of you. And once you are comfortable with the inside of you, you may look to the outside universe to provide information. But the greatest information comes from you. You are your source of your information. You are your source of your own resistance; you are your source of your own prosperity. YOU ARE WHAT YOU CREATE! That should be in capital letters and emblaze it upon your own psyche. Your conscious mind deals with the internal aspect of yourself as well as the external aspect of yourself. Yet when you close off to the internal portion of you, you limit that which you can accomplish. Because your mind then has to circumvent, your conscious mind has to circumvent the blockade of where it’s getting its information from. And therefore, you become less effective.
Isabella… Is that your emotional side?
Seth… No. Your emotional side and your emotions are but a reflection of that which your conscious mind is bringing forth. Your thoughts become your consciousness. There are far too many therapists who supposedly deal with the idea of the unconscious as compared to the conscious mind. In reality there is no such difference between the two. And when you believe in an unconscious self, you have limited that which you can deal with.
Isabella… See I was thinking more emotional vs. rational side.
Seth… Rational means being able to control that which.
Isabella… Correct.
Seth… In reality you can always control that which.
Isabella… It’s whether or not I choose to.
Seth… Correct. See (To Stephanie) how much you missed? (There was a back and forth between what Stephanie had read and misunderstood.) Go ahead.
Isabella… I think what I am struggling with these days is not allowing my emotional side to take over. And really…
Seth… Well, we will deal with that next week possibly. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Yeah, I wanted to ask in terms of the differences, at this point now I am having difficulty with my mother’s reactions. She continues, you know in terms of differences, she is very afraid of confrontation and very afraid to, she is afraid period. And her passivity angers me.
Seth… Have you told her?
Stephanie… I have told her and then there is a new reference point now where based on the last event having to do with my father, she has not responded at all.
Seth… Did you ask her why not?
Stephanie… No, I have not yet.
Seth… And did you say, with your inactivity and your inability to answer him is hurting me. Are you aware of that?
Stephanie… Okay. But my question would be how many times would I be continuing to confront her because that’s what makes her different.
Seth… You confront her as long as it continues to bother you. If it doesn’t bother you, cross the bridge and then you don’t need it anymore. Right now, you do.
Stephanie… Okay, so that’s my question. Why would it stop bothering me?
Seth… Because it will
Stephanie… Because I have accepted that that’s just her?
Seth… No. Because the acceptance of that is her is only a camouflage system.
Stephanie… Meaning an excuse for me to not to…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, my question is why will I all of a sudden not care?
Seth… You will not care because you will have accomplished that which you seek to accomplish.
Stephanie… Which is what in relationship to her?
Seth… In terms of your relationship to her, there are individuals who you can only do certain things.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Yet, you know she is capable of more.
Stephanie… Yes, when she chooses, that’s correct.
Seth… So therefore, what she does bothers you.
Stephanie… Because she’s choosing to not.
Seth… Correct and that’s what’s bothering you. So, when you understand that this is as much as she can do then of course it doesn’t matter. But right now, you know she is capable of defending you and doing more.
Stephanie… Okay. So that’s really the point, so it wouldn’t end my confrontations with her when I know that she has the ability to.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Because when she does write letters, they are extremely eloquent, and she doesn’t have Alzheimer’s at all.
Seth… Correct. (Group laughter.)
Frank… Selective Alzheimer’s.
Stephanie… Yeah, clearly. So, I would not stop that. It would be when she literally does not have the ability that I would let that go because the expectation would be faulty.
Seth… Correct. That is correct.
George… I heard you refer to Isabella and Frank as teachers. Is that a reference to their basic personas? Does that mean that they discover?
Seth… No. Everyone who is sitting around this table who has gathered information from me. I choose to challenge you to become a teacher, to pass along certain ideas, information, concepts if you will, to anyone who requires them.
Frank… I wanted to write about dis-ease and we don’t have the material.
Seth… Find it.
Frank… I was going to ask your help.
Seth… Find it. That’s not my problem. That is yours.
Stephanie… You mean the sessions we have had?
Frank… That was before we took notes. (There was an extended conversation about the fact that we did not take notes earlier on in the sessions.)
Seth… Let us move along, you can have this conversation later. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Oh yeah, I have a two-patient question.
Seth… We are still on subject.
Stephanie… Alright.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I am just curious about this patient Amy that I have that I used to see in Great Neck. All of a sudden, she has decided because she has a friend who, I don’t know, had medication, and said, oh take this, it’s the greatest. So, she takes it and she’s like cured. (Group laughter.) So, I am feeling a little confused about, I mean alright she’s not cured. But my question is, is she now telling herself that the pill is her panacea and that she no longer requires therapy from me?
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question. Did you read the book?
Stephanie… Your book?
Seth… Yes. Covered it completely. Reread it again. Next question.
Stephanie… Alright I got you. So, but she is saying to herself this is what I required so it is becoming truth. So, my question is, I want to know for me did I make an error in not recommending medication for her?
Seth… You could recommend that she take one pill of grass every day and if she believes that it works, it works. Doesn’t matter what it is. The idea here of medication to assist people works because individuals and physicians believe that it works.
Stephanie… Alright.
Frank… It goes beyond placebo though.
Stephanie… Yes, I understand that. This is not somebody who had small issues. We worked a lot on her stuff,
Frank… It is in the book.
Stephanie… I know that. (Laughter.) I scanned it.
Seth… Second question? (Betty said something directed to Stephanie)
Seth… Go ahead, Betty.
Betty… It can be the opposite; the therapists keep sending patients to me for medicines they don’t need.
Stephanie… Oh.
Seth… And that is because physicians believe that medication works.
Betty… Yeah, and then they go my therapist says and it is very difficult.
Seth… I understand and whether they needed it or not you have to be the one to put them on the correct path.
Betty… Yup.
Seth… Are there any other questions? Let me leave you all with this. Each one of you must consistently review those six ideas, if you will. Use them wisely to foster change within self. Doing so you will find that your needs will be met, and your wants lessened. We will deal more with change next week. A fond and hardy good evening to all.
Seth… Let us welcome all of you this evening. A pleasure to have all of you here again. We have delved into four of my six points that I have wanted to go on with. We shall hopefully depending upon how everything goes deal with the last two. Again, because of the nature of the material I would request that each of you hold back on any questions or comments until the end so that I may delve into this topic if you will in detail.
Great events happen in each of your lifetimes, and they are the most quiet. Most individuals assume that it is the fanfare if you will; the trumpets blaring that announce the change. There are a number of things that one as they mature should come to realize that there are certain things in each existence that once lost you may never recapture. As an example, we will deal with three of them, time, words, and opportunity. Each of these ideas (said very strongly) helps promote change. Out of physical plane existence all individuals are “ruled” by time. You measure it, contemplate it, fear it, you desire more of it, you desire less of it, yet it is the quiet ticking of the clock, the passage through that helps denote the passage from one idea to another. An example here may be seen with the idea of inspiration. The time spent on a project that seems to be leading nowhere is in reality a passage of trial and error and then in the bathtub or toilet, or upon waking from a dream the answer is there. The change, the knowledge has mysteriously appeared. The question arises why now? The answer my dear friend’s is simple. You contemplate that which you desire; you create in the second framework (Seth has spoken about frameworks in previous books by Jane Roberts.) of existence and you bring it into your own in full bloom in a quiet and delicate moment. The most obvious course of events is not noticed until you are ready to see what the universe offers.
I have been asked numerous times why did you not give me this information before. The answer is because you were not ready to appreciate or understand the vital nature of the event itself. Most individuals allow time to “slip through their fingers”. They pray for this, they want for that, yet they do not attract that which they seek since most individuals unfortunately believe that they are not worthy! Most individuals spend too much time being jealous of what someone else has. They do not see since they close their eyes to that which they are and what they are creating. Time is elusive for most it just seems to pass, yet how many individuals leave their home, drive along a country road, and never take “the time” to appreciate, understand, reflect upon, and enjoy the beauty that surrounds them. When they finally return home, they are weary from the trip, and they do not appreciate the others that they have encountered, yet they pine for true companionship. They never give themselves an opportunity to make progress in whatever line of study they choose to be on. Each of you must endeavor to work at making yourself responsible for your own prosperity. Use your time wisely since there is a limited amount of time.
During our break you may ask the man through whom I speak to re-explain the idea of the dash when it comes to time. (During the break I explained the following. If a person lived from 1900–1980 it does not matter how long they lived but by how and what they did between the two dates. That is why the dash is important. Jerry)
When you lose ideas that you can never take back, the word, the choice of its meaning is at times so disastrous that their implications and meanings can never, can never (Said very strongly.) be forgotten. The sound, the stigma of those words that either you have said or have been said to you are still clearly heard thirty, forty, and fifty years after their initial placement. If I was to ask each of you what words do you remember, I am certain that you may come up with ideas that are delicate at best. We have oft said that language and words are the poorest form of communication, for once uttered or written down they can never be erased. Learn to pause, reflect, contemplate the deeper meaning of what you say or write. How often does one hear I really did not mean that, you just don’t understand, that was only a joke, don’t you have a sense of humor? These are but a few (said strongly) of the myriad of phrases that one often uses to remove what has been said. Just as you cannot erase time you cannot erase the feelings that harsh words bring to you. How often do I go around the table and get a working definition of an idea so that each of you can understand what I am speaking about? Learn to think, place yourselves in the position of the other before you utter a sound, before you place pen to paper.
The last idea of that which you have to deal with in terms of Change is the idea of opportunity. The quiet solitude of knowledge gives you the ability to take advantage of that which you are. I will pause here. (The phone in the kitchen was ringing.) When one sees an opening for prosperity but does not act out of fear the opportunity is lost and to achieve the same results you must walk a different path, for that road that you could have been on is now closed. Your choices give you the opportunity for advancement if you choose to take the risk. Stagnation is your enemy. When one delays out of fear your choices become limited and change is more difficult. Each of you must learn to choose wisely so that you become prosperous in whatever endeavor you are embarked upon. The opportunity for advancement surrounds each of you. Unfortunately, the repetitive nature that inhabits the physical plane prevents most individuals from grasping or seeing what the correct choice is.
Examples of this abound. Should I stay or should I leave my country were uttered by individuals during your Second World War. The opportunity to escape what seems to be the inevitable is an indication of dis-ease. Choose wisely for as the old adage goes opportunity only knocks once, and yes, my students it only does! Each time that you miss an opening you will have to find another.
The idea here that each of you is different from one another is an important factor of change itself. What makes individuals and families strong is the idea that one is committed to the family. We place value upon something, and we have oft used the idea of value fulfillment as being necessary for you as an individual to find true enlightenment and happiness. If you are not in a situation where you can commit, then you cannot advance. It is the experience that each of you requires that moves you forward. Families need commitment, yet within the idea of change and commitment one must be sincere. You cannot fool the universe; you cannot pretend to be something when you are something else. You may fool individuals, communities, even countries, but you know what you are. You know what you do not have, you know what you lack and eventually the “others” will find out that you are dishonest!
Lastly to promote change one must view the idea of hard work. We have stated before and will re-state again just because you WANT SOMETHING, the idea of want something should be underlined and capitalized,does not mean (Said strongly and very slowly.) that you will attain it, capture it, or have it. One must work to bring yourself and your family together. You cannot (said strongly) graduate from the school of proper change by letting someone else do the work for you. This does not mean that you should never ask for or seek assistance from another. It is the person who is a loner who chooses to be outside of the community that for the most part makes him/herself a victim of everyone and everything. (Said very strongly.) When you do not choose to give another a chance you are removing yourself from prosperity. One must never judge another by their looks. One must contemplate their actions. In doing so you will often find that their true beauty is immeasurable. One makes the family stronger by participating in their endeavors.
One must commit and be sincere in all that you do or request from someone else. If you do not, then my question is simply this: What have you gained? What have you lost? You have lost your time and have said words that are gone, and you certainly have lost the opportunity to promote yourself as well as the others who are in your family. Just because someone does something even repeatedly that is not to your liking does not mean that one should give up or judge them in a harsh manner. Become the light on a dark stormy night. Become the safe harbor for them as you would choose to have someone do for you. A great event often passes unnoticed, do not lose it, become stronger and make a commitment to self. Period.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… So, let us continue: I believe that each of you is starting to appreciate how difficult the ramifications of change itself are. I have used these last numbers of weeks to highlight and give you a push if you will so that you may each contemplate the ideas that I have spoken on.
Are there any questions?
Isabella… I have a question regarding missed opportunities when it comes to my relationships. You made a comment about not being too quick to judge others and about looks and it is more about actions… I really can’t find the right spot, oh it is when you don’t choose to give another a chance you are removing yourself from prosperity, one must never judge another by their looks, one must contemplate their actions in doing so you will also find that their true beauty is immeasurable. What I find is that, especially now that I am doing the dating thing, for example with this guy Tim that I went out with last night or two nights ago. In the beginning of the date, I felt that I could be attracted to him looks wise, and he was a super nice guy, really nice, very complimentary and he was really providing a definite area of growth and opportunity. Midway through the date something shifted in my thinking and it was like that everything that I had been feeling for the first hour completely shut off and I was I don’t know if I like him, I don’t know if I am attracted to him, I don’t know if I want to, you know… and I am very curious as to… and this has happened to me before with nice people, with men that I think I could potentially be a good guy and I tend to become more attracted to the ones that are wounded and have issues then the guys who can provide me with what I am really looking for unfortunately, and I don’t really understand why that shift happens?
Seth… The shift happens because of the definition of self. When you do not feel worthy, when you do not feel comfortable within yourself one tends to push it outward so that you find fault with others. Let me give you an example away from you so that you can understand: Let us assume that a husband or wife goes to a competent therapist, of course none are sitting at the table so we can eliminate them (There were three therapists sitting around the table at this time!) and that individual goes to a therapist and starts making changes within themselves. And after a while it becomes noticeable to the other partner, husband or wife, matters not, that changes are being made how likely is it that the husband or wife who is noticing the changes immediately gravitates and fully appreciates the hard work that the individual who is going to the therapist is doing?
Isabella… I would say not immediately.
Seth… Rarely and it takes a very, very long period of time and you are certainly missing opportunity, and this is due to the idea of fear. If I allow myself to like that individual, if I allow myself to respond to that individual then of course you are opening yourself for “your belief system” that they can hurt you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… This is what you are doing in terms of; oh, he is nice, he is good looking, he is kind, oh maybe he isn’t, I can’t take the risk in this because I have been hurt so badly. This is one of the reasons why I have stated to you to be casual, at least for the present point of reference.
Isabella… So why wasn’t I afraid to take the risk with George?
Seth… Because you instinctively know that George is a deeply wounded individual. How often have you stated that you know that you could not become involved long range with him because of his difficulties until he gets help? Until he gets help, how often have you stated that?
Isabella… Many times.
Seth… And has he gotten help?
Isabella… No.
Seth … Therefore, you will still be attracted to him because you know that he is a safe individual.
Isabella… Okay, now. (There was an interaction with Jasmine who was answering for Isabella and Seth stated, “Let her figure this out, please.) No, it’s safe because I know that he is not going anywhere, because I can’t potentially be hurt by him because I am not a hundred percent invested in him. And in this other case I am just using this guy as an example, the reason why I would switch it off in my brain would be because of how maybe potentially great he could be and my fear of getting hurt again.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, it is really a fear thing, so how do you get over that?
Seth… By getting over it!
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Remember there will come a point of reference where you are going to need to not lose an opportunity, you are going to need to become sincere, first with self and then of course with another. This is certainly part of the ideas…
Isabella… So how do I know when… so how do I know that this isn’t the opportunity?
Seth… You do not. But that matters not, it is the opening of yourself up, if you get hurt, injured, bothered, annoyed, or frustrated that is fine because that is a learning experience.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… I do. In the terms, maybe you have answered it already about this transition with George that we are going through right now where we decided that we are going to take it down a notch and take out the seriousness of it. I was very surprised with his reaction and with his being so okay.
Seth… Why?
Isabella… Why was I surprised?
Seth… Why should you be?
Isabella… I really thought that he was going to be like…
Seth… Why should you be, he has already told you that he does not enjoy communal life.
Isabella… Right. Okay, well I guess that that is a letdown for me. So that’s why I was upset.
Seth… You are not upset, you knew it.
Isabella… Okay, so what is the feeling that I am feeling?
Seth… What you are feeling basically is in a large sense relief.
Isabella… But it doesn’t feel like relief.
Seth… I understand but, it is.
Isabella… Okay. I wanted to just quickly… I’m sorry Steph I know that this is killing you, about this dream that I had last night that even, even some people, you know, very good dream interpreters are having some difficulty trying to answer me. I was on the phone with Jacob, in my dreams and he was… I was mad at him because he was involved in a relationship or starting a relationship with supposedly the person who destroyed our marriage. And I was mad at him for talking to this guy and going on a trip with him and all of this stuff.
Seth… Him or her?
Isabella… It was a him in the dream. And it was like himself, like he was befriending himself. Does that make sense?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… I really don’t understand. I was having a hard time.
Seth… Who destroyed the marriage?
Isabella… He did.
Seth… So therefore, he was speaking to himself, you realized that he was the one who had the difficulty within the marriage and did nothing to promote himself or you and since he is the one. Remember dreams are about themes…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… not a specific. So therefore, it is he who is responsible and therefore what you are looking at was the idea. Of course, you are angry because he chose not to work.
Isabella… Right, but who was he talking to?
Seth… Himself. You in your dream you had separated that person from himself. Of course, you know that that is not possible, but it is in reality the fact of the dream.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just wanted to ask; we were talking about the therapy situation. I have a couple; I am not dealing with the couple right now I’m just dealing with the wife but they were about to get divorced whatever it was and I was trying to help the wife to view her issues and become a kinder individual and give this husband a little bit of a break. So, I think that she has been attempting to do that for quite a while but, there are no changes from this other half. And again, I don’t know how true to life her changes are with him, that’s questionable. But I see…
Seth… How can you find out?
Stephanie… Well, he doesn’t want to come to me, I could re-ask and see if he is willing to come back. She has talked about ways that she’s approached him differently but, like you said, he is petrified, this is an extremely pain, wounded person and she has been very, very, very attacking and horrific with him.
Seth… Why would an individual who has been slapped, beaten, and hurt open himself up? So, the question arises is for you to convey to her that he (said strongly) must endeavor whether through you or some other competent individual to explore the pain that he has towards her. For without that exploration, he will always be hurt and always be fearful.
Stephanie… Yeah, I mean literally he just retreats to a room. Now, what if he… did part of him want to pursue this divorce and just get relief and be done?
Seth… It may very well be true.
Stephanie… Why does he not?
Seth… He does not because it is fear of loss.
Stephanie… Right just the idea of the loss?
Seth… Remember, it is fear of being in a situation that is the fear of not having the situation.
Stephanie… Right so the change…
Seth… So, one tends to gravitate towards one and then move back towards the other. And it is a back and forth, it is a negative, negative type of a situation. (At this point to paraphrase, the wife is the main breadwinner making the husband comfortable monetarily but contributes to his staying in this negative situation. There was more discussion on a contact with or a referral for the husband to assist him.)
Stephanie… Okay, so this isn’t now about the marriage becoming better, it’s just about however she chooses to live. Like this is where it would be with them, does she want to stay or go?
Seth… Correct because if he is not willing… remember when there is no change, there is no growth.
Stephanie… Right, but you know how you always state one changes then the other has to.
Seth… No, if I make positive changes and you and I were married and I make positive changes and you do not then I have grown, and you have stayed where you are. Therefore, my growth is independent of yours. So, I have changed, now whether you choose to accept or reject my changes is of course up to you. But if you are rejecting my changes out of fear and will still refuse to do anything then I must move along without you.
Stephanie… So, it is not always true.
Seth… No, it is true, it is absolutely true. I have changed what have you done? You have rejected the change, and you have made another change. If I change, you must. You are just thinking in terms of a positive result, instead of a negative one.
Stephanie… But there has been no change, the person does nothing different.
Frank… The dynamic of the marriage is changed; so, he has changed, because he had to respond to that…
Seth… and refuses to do so, so it’s in a negative way. You are looking at this in terms of a positive idea. Change does not have to be positive.
Stephanie… Okay, but if the person continues to respond in exactly the same fashion and he’s refusing to change his stance no matter…
Seth… The marriage has changed because she has changed. If she has changed and he is still “doing the same thing” he is rejecting what has been offered and that is a change in and of itself.
Stephanie… Okay, so you are saying that the marriage has changed because she is bringing different things into the marriage.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay, alright.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… So, the idea of the opportunity that I had to go to the Super-bowl (party) this Sunday and then ending up winning the television set was….
Seth… How would a prosperous man act?
Frank… He would win a television set! (Group laughter.)
Seth… I believe you have asked and answered your own question.
Frank… Right. Good, I want to go to some other questions. In terms of the other two sessions could you speak a bit about the idea of making your spouse your friend and touching the hand visa-a-vie I guess the concept of looking in the same direction maybe even the concept of “What about me?” (“What about me?” is a concept discussed by Seth a number of years ago. How the tone of that thought or statement “What about me?” is expressed is quite important. It can be the difference between standing up for oneself correctly or being a bully or being a victim etcetera.) Are there other considerations to do this with your spouse?
Seth… Yes, in anything that you would do with a friend you may do with your spouse. The object here is an open line of communication. Too many individuals believe that a thank you when you do something is necessary to show that you appreciate something. Well, when one demands a thank you it is worthless. If on the other hand the thank you comes spontaneously from one individual to another it carries a lot more weight, it becomes weighty. What that means is that the other individual is seeing what you are doing and remember in the long view of things the widest possible angle of view that you have is the idea that, yes, I see what you are doing, and I appreciate it, that which you are. Now, one should never expect change as here and here as an instantaneous factor, but it is the learning to appreciate the idea that someone is trying that matters. So that when you do this with a spouse the tendency for the injured party, if you will, to say oh, I see what they are doing, that is terrific! Well, they may not be able to fully appreciate that which the other is doing for quite a while, because the fear of regression becomes monumental. You understand this, so the idea of…
Frank… Both parties or one? Who has the fear of the regression?
Seth… The fear of the regression is the injured party; that is the factor there. The injured party, the person who gets slapped if you will, so the idea of looking together towards a common goal, towards a commonality is the factor that one must view as profitable. Remember, when you work together you get more things done, when you are only focusing towards each other there is confrontation. You said, he said, they said and it serves no useful purpose, so when you do this with a spouse and you work towards a commonality whether it be grocery shopping, whether it be a lack of argumentative behavior, or whatever you choose to do, but you have a common goal, the idea of moving together towards something is beneficial since you are working towards something together.
Does that answer your question?
Frank… Yeah, I think so. Somewhat in line with that, a couple that I have been seeing for a while who have had a terrible time of it recently and they may be getting divorced and may not be coming back to my office. She had, she was victimized very badly as a youth and was a victim in the relationship as best as I could see, everything was being a victim.
Seth… Taking everything (as a victim) and being one are quite different.
Frank… Right, I understand, and I believe that there was a lot of taking in this case. Now, this couple may never come back, but skill wise and for the next couple who is similar is there something, are there things that I could have been doing differently, are there things that I need to learn to help couples like this one?
Seth… What you have to do is to get them on the same page, so that they can work together. When couples come in, whether it be man and wife, friends, it matters not. When they come in, they are always looking towards each other instead of looking at the same view. The object is to get both of them to do a 180-degree about-face so that they can see where they came from, and then do a 90 degree turn so that they can understand where they want to go.
Frank… When you say that they see where they came from do you mean in terms of, do you mean that quite broadly, like their whole lives, or do you mean that other couple?
Seth… Yes! You ended up looking…
Frank… There you are, this is what you created.
Seth… This is what you are creating there. For you are only creating this because of that!
Frank… Because of where you came from?
Seth… Right.
Frank… Together and apart?
Seth… Correct, and therefore when you create that, (Said with emphasis.) you get that! Therefore, you want to have them examine that.
Frank… So that they can go back, and that can be done in almost an infinite number of ways?
Seth… In any way that is necessary that the individual themselves come to the conclusion that what happens here may not be relevant to here but only this becomes relevant.
Frank… Okay. (Said very softly) One other question. Is it better for me to talk to Jerry about the idea of lack and the need to re-program. The need for me to begin to re-program. Any guidelines or suggestions?
Seth… Two words, Do It.
Frank… Okay, thank you.
Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this; Things that are lost will not fulfill your needs; they increase your wants. Your family and the differences therein make you a stronger and better individual. Your needs will be fulfilled. Work, dedication will give you prosperity.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here. Some small bits of housekeeping that we will take up. First, we shall deal with some book reading. Kaetorina, you are to tell the man through whom I speak, you know the book you gave him?
Stephanie… Yes.
Seth… He has till Father’s Day.
Stephanie… Really?
Isabella… What book is that?
Stephanie… I can’t believe it; you knew I was going to find that other copy in my house.
Seth… We shall proceed from there. Second of all to our friend Frank, you are responsible for typing this session.
Isabella… YES! (Laughter.)
Seth… Third, (To Isabella on her typing.) housekeeping, you now have three weeks.
Isabella… Excellent.
Seth… I’m just informing you if you will proceed to sift through your memory, what happened the last time? I would strongly suggest that you work a little bit at this.
Isabella… Frank, I’m really happy for you. (Frank was still in route in the car and listening to session on the phone.)
Seth… Let us now proceed, under our general category of Change (Isabella was chattering.) we have now, would you like to type this session as well?
Isabella… No Frank will.
Seth… I didn’t think so. Now under this general category of Change we have proceeded with the first two ideas, if you will, for the subject matter at hand. We have discussed the idea of crossing bridges, when to and when not to. We have discussed the individuals of how you are to look at each other or with each other in a specific direction. Questions certainly may be asked on those two points, but we shall start delving into others.
Let us understand, one grows up in this physical plane and the perceptions of other individuals require that you deal with these souls in certain times and aspects of your own existence. Commonly when people disappoint you or upset you the tendency for most people is to become defensive. Other individuals who are on the other side when you deal with them, they will either make excuses…
Jasmine… The ones that disappoint you? Is that what you mean?
Seth… Yes, but try to keep the questions to a minimum, please. They disappoint you and they will either “yes” you to death or become sarcastic with their humor and they become passively aggressive in their actions. Most commonly, people sit and wait for these types of souls to react to something that they have done. One must be careful if you will that the idea of allowing individuals to victimize you is self-defeating. One commonly will see the idea that nothing pleases these individuals. No matter how hard one attempts to solve their difficulties they find that something is wrong. The individual, the person who takes your hand and then touches your heart is indeed a true friend!
If we examine the idea of true friendship one must come to the conclusion that friends themselves must be responsible for their actions as well as their actions towards you. If you are in error, making poor choices it is the friend’s responsibility to point out that which they see as a challenge and an opportunity for you. Individuals have stated this as constructive criticism yet; I do not choose to observe or view these actions with the idea of criticism. When a true friend is invested in you their concern is to promote and develop a stronger relationship between themselves and the individual they are befriending. Criticism here does not imply the idea of befriending someone. A good friend will make sure that you understand that which they see as an obstacle for your own growth and development.
Now, there must be a true give and take between “the friends”. Change occurs by the simplistic idea that two individual souls view a situation differently from each other. The question arises if one defines the idea of friendship as a truly helping situation then of course there must be differences in how one relates to someone else. Friendship itself demands truthfulness! One cannot deceive a friend and expect kindness and love in return. It is the deception, even a small one, that creates strain between individuals. As an example, here, someone may ask, “How do I look in these clothes? Does my haircut look well? Am I doing the right thing?” The answer is simple if in your opinion the individual is making an error in judgment no matter how small then of course it becomes mandatory for you to touch their heart and tell the truth as you see or understand it and that last part of our sentence is vital, that last part of our sentence is vital to allowing change to occur!
Change cannot occur when one individual is being deceived by another. What occurs eventually is anger and frustration. The human condition as it stands at this point of reference abounds with deception. One hears and sees news reports where this idea is all too common. As an example, the French banker, stock trader if you will who lost seven billion dollars is an example of deception. The individual who does not state that your friendship depends upon your agreeing with me is in an active state of deception. Why would one individual seek to attempt enlightenment by having someone agree with you is indeed limited by their own need for self assurance.
Now, change occurs often in a difficult or disastrous manner when one individual truly finds out about the other. When you find out what the person’s personality truly is you then find yourself in a position quite common on the physical plane of detesting the other. An example of this may be seen with Kaetorina and her friend who victimized her in relationship to when her husband and Stephan were aboard a boat. Her viewpoints of this friendship will never be the same because of deception. The question is here whose heart was touched and how was it touched?
It is an interesting sidelight to change that one must now concern themselves with, how many of you think of what you truly have? How many of you ponder the complexities of your own existence in terms of prosperity, happiness, enjoyment? The answer, I dare say, is few of you. Yet, from the opposite standpoint how many of you ponder the idea of what you do not have? How many of you are concerned on a day-to-day basis even on a moment-to-moment basis with the idea of what you miss, what you do not have? Will I find a new job? Do I have what I desire? Will there be enough money? Will my friendships be true and lasting? Will I make a mistake and have to repeat the lesson over and over again? All these questions must now be brought into focus so that you as an individual may learn to change your perceptions of what you truly have.
Let us examine this idea when one contemplates these notions. How many of you on a moment-to-moment basis contemplate what you need? I dare say none of you. Yet how many of you focus your existence on want? When one focuses their existence on want you will always be deprived. Individuals who do this commonly require major assistance from others for they honestly believe they cannot when in truth they will not. Individuals must learn to take responsibility for their own existence! This is where the idea that I have promoted springs forth: You are what you create! Individuals who are truly happy, content find change preferable to stagnation.
Individuals who want, find change abhorrent. The change that is abhorrent is due to the fact that fear is their partner. Fear destroys your own ability to function, you cannot listen to others, do not know whether they are friend or foe. You seek opinions from as many individuals who will listen to you as possible. You never trust yourself even when you know you are correct. Underline that, even when you know that you are correct. How can one trust themselves when all you see is want?
The most contented individuals know that the change will be for the better. They promote change by making themselves available to the others by allowing themselves the freedom to fail. It should be noted here that failure is preferable to stagnation. When you know that one path is impossible or too difficult one looks for a way around and if it isn’t one road you will find it on the other. In your individual lives one moves yet you do not see because you are biased against yourself. You fear that that which you do not know or understand. You are concerned only about what is lacking in your life. One then views the universe as a machine that provides only horror.
Now, each of you must attempt to find friendship wherever you can. Change the way in which you perceive yourself. Are you rich or poor? Happy or sad? Are you filled with prosperity or are the physical plane ideas of wealth paramount within you? As an aside here one must always be aware that there is nothing wrong or evil about money. Yet when wealth and accumulation becomes primary the difficulties that arise because of this are obvious. One must attempt to look at the physical plane and see that it is magnificent to see that you may attain and have everything that you desire if you are willing to create it even if the task seems monumental. It is the fear of not attaining one’s goals that causes individuals to view the situation as impossible and therefore they do not even try.
The good friend encourages the other and pushes when necessary. The good friend discourages and prevents when it is obvious that that is the correct thing to do. Does one have or are you a have-not? What type of a friend are you? Are you satisfied with self? How do you perceive the others around you? What will you do to change? What will you do… to change? These questions must be answered by all who inhabit the physical plane. Let us all work together to promote prosperity! It is not how you do something that truly matters it is the experience that you gain by doing that assists you along your journey. Become a friend, touch someone’s heart, contemplate on what you have and your existence will provide you with that which you need. I believe that at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue: We have now dealt with four of the six ideas that I have chosen to bring forth. Are there any questions on any one or all of those ideas?
Shanna… Yeah, I have a question. When a friend is, when you’re saying that if you believe like a friend is doing something wrong and you should be telling them, how do you differentiate if it’s your opinion verses what’s factual?
Seth… By simply stating this is my opinion. This is what I see. You will always try to preface any comment that you would make to anyone whether it be a husband to a wife, a wife to a husband, “This is where I am noticing. This is what I am seeing. This is what I am observing.” For that is exactly what you are doing is it not?
Shanna… Even if it’s unsolicited?
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question; if you see a child running down the hallway in school looking over their shoulder and not watching where they are going is it not incumbent upon you to stop the child?
Shanna… Yeah.
Seth… If you notice something that a friend is doing that you believe in your opinion is detrimental to them whatever that thing is if you will, is it not incumbent upon you to nicely point out to the friend, “This is what I am observing. You may not be aware of it, or you may be aware I am not sure that you are doing something.” For if you do not say something and then the person suffers who’s also suffering?
Shanna… I would be.
Seth… I think you have your own answer.
Shanna… Okay.
Stephanie… So now are you saying this omission is what you would call a deception?
Seth… Yes, it is. It is a deceiving not only of yourself, but you deceived your friend. In other words, if you see a friend who chooses to gamble let us say and the gambling let’s say is not major, but they are losing sixty, seventy dollars per week. That may not change their lifestyle at all but after awhile the idea of winning and gambling starts to become pervasive and addictive. If you deceive your friend by pretending that you don’t notice, aren’t you omitting something from your existence as well as theirs?
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Go ahead.
Stephanie… Yeah, but if they don’t like it and they feel that’s…
Seth… That is their choice. In other words when you make a comment to someone it is just a comment, they don’t have to accept it or like it, they have to understand. That is your responsibility where you are coming from. For example, when you are dealing with patients, have you ever had a patient not like what you suggested?
Stephanie… Of course.
Seth… Now, would you not be deceiving them and omitting something from their therapeutic session with you if you decide they may not like this I’m not going to say anything?
Stephanie… Em hmm. Right, even though they wouldn’t see it as a deception?
Seth… They may not see it as a deception, but they will somewhere in their own being know there is something lacking, something missing because you cannot face an issue with anyone without having them understand what you perceive, even if they don’t like it. You understand?
Stephanie… Right, em hmm.
Seth… For example, here, one may look at the idea of the man through whom I speak and me giving him a book to read. Do you think he really and truly will like the idea that I am now dictating that he reads this?
Stephanie… No, he doesn’t, believe me. (Giggles.)
Seth… Have him read Frank’s notes, when he retypes them. By the way Frank you have three weeks.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Frank… Why are we getting so strict with time limits these days?
Seth… Because you don’t listen to them.
Frank… Time limits?
Seth… Yes. How long did it take you to do the last session?
Frank… I have lots of things going on.
Seth… I understand that and this session was quite easy for you to do. And of course, if you listen to Isabella no one will ask a question and you will be very happy. Do you have any questions, Isabella?
Isabella… Nope.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Go ahead.
Stephanie… It’s not a long one though.
Seth… Make it a long one.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Just where you stated individuals who need major assistance from others where they honestly believe they cannot when in truth they will not. They believe they cannot you’re saying in truth they will not?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… If you said to the person, “No, you just will not,” would they understand, what does that mean?
Seth… Not without an explanation. In other words, if someone says, “I cannot do that!” the question is and arises, well will you even try? How do you know you cannot do something unless you attempt to do it?
Stephanie… What if their perception is that they…
Seth… That is the perception. When an individual says, “I cannot,” without even attempting anything it means they believe they cannot or will not. It is a concept of no, I’m not going to be bothered. Do you understand?
Stephanie… And underneath that is that they really feel that they are not capable of?
Seth… Either they are not capable of, they are afraid to push themselves, they believe that others should do it for them; all these factors are an important facet of their lack. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, usually it’s about that they are afraid.
Seth… It certainly plays a very large portion of their ideas. One must view the situation in terms of how do I go about eliciting a proper response from an individual who, says “I can’t.” My question is why don’t you try? And even if you do not succeed at least, you will have the satisfaction if you will of attempting. The scientist has a hypothesis. He does not know whether he can prove it or not, but it is the idea of attempting to prove something that gives him information. Whether that information is positive or negative is in reality valuable and that is what the person must understand when they say, “I cannot do that.” If you don’t attempt it, then how do you know? Does this make sense to you?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… I have a question regarding friendship. In regards to friendships and deception and kind of all we were discussing; it must be very difficult to find true friendship. I mean is it rare that you find true, true friendship with people that are unconditional and don’t deceive you? I feel like that has to be rare.
Seth… Let us start with looking at the idea itself. Most individuals that you know are in reality acquaintances. There are acquaintances no matter how close you believe you are to them because either you or they have put a barrier between you and themselves. Now that barrier may be truthfulness. It may be fear. It may be want or desire but there is something that separates you from them. A friend is someone who attempts to look over that barrier or knock it down if possible, as often as they can so the line of communication that you have between you and the other individual becomes clear. It is vital that you remember that good friends say things that you do not want to listen to. Notice here, I do not state that you will accept what they say. That is quite an important part of becoming a friend. You do not have to accept what they say but you must listen and understand. Remember a good friend tries to hold you in her hands and says to you what you would believe is criticism; I do not like the word here, as criticism. I disagree what you are doing because I feel for you so. You do not have to like what they say but you have to understand the reason behind what they say. Now knowing this statement, one must first turn to themselves. In your dealings with most individuals are you an acquaintance or a friend?
Isabella… Definitely an acquaintance.
Seth… Therefore, the answer to your question is that it is not common to have a true friend. The other question and a more important one is why are you not a friend? Why are you only acting as an acquaintance? Your responsibility at this table is to learn and to experience that which you can. From any point forward how often do you reread the material I have given you?
Isabella… I do occasionally.
Seth… The word is occasionally. And I could go around this table and for many of you, I know our friend Frank tends to reread these things; how many of you not only reread them but allow the idea to change you from inside out? We are dealing with a complicated series of events. You create what you are and what your existence is but if you are not satisfied with that existence and what you are you must change inside out. So, the question arises, what have you learned about friendship and are you going to stop being an acquaintance where you can and start becoming a friend. Does that answer your question?
Isabella… What if the person or the people that you try to become a friend to don’t reciprocate?
Seth… Then you know that you are an acquaintance, and you do the best you can. You cannot force anyone to do whatever. And you can’t force them to do whatever unless they choose to change. Now that does not mean one should stop trying. That does not mean one should walk away. If you have friends or you would like them to become friends or closer acquaintances, then one must learn to extend themselves. One must learn to speak on a phone. One must learn to speak in person. One must learn to ask for something even when rejected that is the key. If you do not attempt, you cannot succeed. Do you understand this?
Frank… When you see someone who is in a certain place and they need a friend so you befriend them and offer them this but then, they now don’t need that is it something then that you may let go? Can you just befriend anybody or…
Seth… Let’s look at the idea of a word, “Chance Encounters”.
Frank… Right.
Seth… You befriend somebody by doing something for somebody. It’s a quick start, middle, end and it may happen in a minute or less.
Frank… Right, so you can befriend somebody without making it this lifelong commitment.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Okay, can you…
Seth… That is the essence, when one looks at the idea of which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.
Frank… Yes.
Seth… In other words, if you befriend somebody you’ve crossed a bridge.
Frank… Right.
Seth… Do you have to keep it there the answer is “no”.
Frank… You might cross another bridge.
Seth… And let the other one go.
Frank… What word would you use instead of “criticism”?
Seth… Language here is a very poor conveyor of the idea.
Frank… Group of words.
Seth… Even a group of words. When one hears or defines criticism one would say as a negative thought or perception. I would like to use the word therein of what you perceive; “I am perceiving you in this manner. This is what I am noticing.” That is what I clearly stated throughout the lecture this evening. When you perceive someone in a certain way, one will listen to you if you will say, “From my vantage point I see you doing this.” If you say, “This is what you are doing and this is how I’m seeing it,” that’s criticism and they are not going to go ahead and listen. That’s the object.
Frank… The other issue is that what if I am in error?
Seth… So?
Frank… If I say it is in my perception, then it’s just my perception.
Seth… Why do you have to be correct? That’s where you get lost within the forest. You try to over analyze that which your perception gives you. If you go ahead and state simply, “This is what I perceive that you are doing. From my vantage point I would not do this because of,” and you would state your reason. The person will say, “Well, thank you very much for telling me. I just disagree with you,” that’s fine. The person may say, “What do you mean about that?” and you explain further. The person may say, “I understand what you are saying, wait a minute, I was doing this because of… Does that change your viewpoint?” So, you may open a line of discussion and have an ability to expand your learning experience as well as theirs. But the second you say something in terms of I am criticizing you; I am critiquing that which you have done it ends because the individual there sees it as a negative viewpoint. And that of course is not what you want. You may say something to a friend, even a good friend where they may take exception to it. That doesn’t mean you should not say it. It is allowing for an open give and take.
Frank… I don’t know if this is a futuristic question. I had considered with my brother with whom I try and befriend, I was thinking about reading him the letter I wrote for my parents and maybe editing it a touch but basically reading it but I have been fearful that it would be more harmful then good, so I’ve avoided doing that. (The letter involved the idea of a creative explosion to better facilitate healing and change over time as discussed in Session 353.) Can you give me any help with this?
Seth… If you do not know if it will do good or harm, what have you, I have just described the person who does nothing.
Frank… You either fail or…
Seth… That’s not gain. It is not a question of futuristic anything.
Frank… At first, I was going to ask what would happen (Laughs.) so I changed the question.
Seth… You do not know what will happen until you do it.
Frank… I could of course ask him. Tell him that the letter exists and ask him if he would be interested.
Seth… Of course, that might be very appropriate.
Frank… Alright.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… I have a quick question about the…
Seth… How about a slow question?
George… A slow question about what you were talking about, the fear of not attaining one’s goals causing you to view a situation as impossible. Can you try any kind of direction when you are in a bad situation where you lose track of what your goals are?
Seth… Let us ask a simple question, when one loses their way on a road, a forest, in life one would tend to want to try and to gather information whether it be a map, a compass, information from others. So, the first thing that one must do is to when one feels lost is to go on a quest for information. The quest for information is the quotes here unquotes “map” of how to proceed. One can then, if they still feel lost, start redefining their goals. For example, have you ever read the book called “The Alchemist”?
George… Yes.
Seth… When are you rereading it again?
George… What am I doing? (George mumbled and there was general laughter.)
Stephanie… What did he say?
Frank… Now… Soon. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… And that will certainly help you redefine your dreams and goals. For that’s what exactly you require for yourself to do. You have to proceed and to find your own map. You are responsible for you and when you then go ahead and become responsible for self by redefining yourself on a day to day-to-day basis you will find that you are much more content.
George… I don’t know if you can even answer this but are there any like, can you give me any suggestions or directions? I feel I don’t even know where to begin to look or who…
Seth… Who is the most important… Here is the first question; who is the most important person in your existence?
George… Me.
Seth… Right, the first person you are going to look for guidance is from yourself. And you are going to do this by literally writing out what you see as your dreams, goals or what you would like to attain. And when you write this out you will then have a sense of how do I find this out? How do I find that out? What do I choose to do? What you are trying to do here is a very large task and you are trying to do this as one step. If you have ten-thousand bricks to move a mile, can you carry them all at one time and you have to do this by hand?
George… No.
Seth… So, you’re going to take a few of them in a slow and steady manner and move them from one area to another. The difficulty that you are having is that you are trying to move a thousand bricks at one time. I strongly suggest since you are not quite that strong you start breaking down what you believe are difficulties into smaller areas or lines of study and in doing this you will develop friendships and be able to change as you progress. Does that assist you?
George… Yes
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… The idea of procrastination plays into the fear of not following up on your own goals?
Seth… Fear.
Frank… And that simply is all that procrastination is?
Seth… Fear.
Frank… Is fear. So, when somebody is not doing something or if I feel like I have things hanging over me…
Seth… Fear.
Frank… Just do it.
Seth… Get over it. Get it done with.
Frank… And get it over with. Cross it off your list.
Seth… Correct.
George… Does procrastination have to do with uncertainty also?
Seth… Well, that is fear.
George… Yeah.
Seth… You don’t know what so therefore do nothing. Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you all with this… Learn to touch someone’s heart. Learn to focus on what you have and not what you don’t. You will then be able to fulfill your needs as well as to assist others in fulfilling theirs. Fear, abandonment, missing things creates want and that certainly does not benefit any of you. I bid you all very fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening. We have been dealing with the idea here of Change. We have been dealing with give and take and I gave some information to the man through whom I speak and I had him meditate and write down a number of salient ideas if you will so that when I come to them, they will become apparent. Whether I cover them all in this session or it takes me a few sessions we will see how things go. As I have previously stated change is the driving force of the physical plane. Change must also come from self. You cannot expect another to decide for you that which path you take. Therefore, we shall look under the idea of to give and to take and change and we come to our first point which is, you may number it one:
1) One must decide which bridge in life it is necessary to cross and which bridge is necessary to burn. This is the ultimate idea of give and take and change in simplistic form. Each of you routinely on a daily basis find yourself in a decision-making position. The difficulty here in change is which decisions prosper me and which decisions hinder my growth. Since it is necessary for each of you to decide one must view the decision as a bridge. Life gives you a choice, it is called freewill. One must never let anyone or anything take that freewill away even if it is painful. The idea here of suicide, of letting the events that surround you take away that which you are so that one then ends their incarnation before they have finished their work. They have chosen in this instance not to cross a bridge so they burn themselves and they take away that which may prosper them not only in this incarnation but in incarnations to come.
Isabella… But it is not like they don’t…
Seth… Let us finish this.
One must view the decision-making process as having the ability to approach and then analyze that which presents itself as a challenge! One then, you had a question Betty?
Betty… Yeah, could you define challenge in that context?
Seth… Challenge is anything that gives you an opportunity for change. Do you understand?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Now, one then must be able to approach that bridge without previous bias upon your part…
Isabella… The past…
Seth… If you then do… I’m not cutting you short but I have a great length of material to try to cover and I will have you write down your questions, I will be happy to answer them later. We will probably not get to all these points and we will probably leave them for the next week or two, however long it takes me to cover them.
Now, if you then understand that when you routinely do things in ways that do not benefit you, meaning you take the same route to work every day. You wear the same type of clothing, have the same haircut.
Jasmine… These things don’t benefit you?
Seth… They do not benefit you. When one looks at something that you do. For example, are you an individual who requires a distinct set pattern of order? Meaning when you look in a room there is something on the left balanced by something on the right which is balanced by something on the left. You are not eclectic if you will. One then has a much more difficult time in deciding how to proceed with a challenge. The person who is lackadaisical who does not seem to care unfortunately is in the same position as the person who does not stop. Where they do not understand the challenge nor do they care to pick up the idea and the work ethic that is necessary for them.
The idea here is that one must make a decision, do I cross? Do I take up the new challenge and leave something else behind? Is it necessary for me to take both ideas with me across the bridge? This is a give and take within self. Do I give it up or do I take it with me? One of the clear indications that one has is that the universe tends to provide you with clues as to which bridge to take and which one to burn. Are your chance encounters similar? Do the same type of events keep repeating themselves? Is it easier for you to have someone else assist you, do the work for you, or lead the way? Then my dear students it is obvious that you have not done what you are supposed to do. One must be aware that you as an individual are responsible for you. If someone does something that bothers you it is far easier to blame that individual then it is to correct yourself. Which in these instances was the proper bridge? Do you burn the ideas of doing things the same way or do you cross over and change self? Which is more profitable? Which is better? Which assists you in your quest for growth.
This quest occurs on a day to day basis. It is a challenge that you as an individual must face. If something bothers you, if something disturbs you the first question one must ask is this repeatable? If it is then you are responsible for crossing the bridge, opening new dimensions for yourself. Opening new dimensions for self and you burn the bridge behind you so that you may not cross back to old ways. That is change. You give yourself the ability to move forward and take with you what you need and you give away that which hinders you. You give away that which hinders you. Individuals will say this is a very difficult concept to do. The problem lies in the idea of not. One tends to become paralyzed, immobile so that you do not even attempt to cross into the realm of prosperity. You do not even attempt to cross into the realm of prosperity!
Remember you are not working alone. These challenges and opportunities are always in combination with others. The concept here must be broadened. You as an individual move within a “family” of individuals.
2) Two people who love each other never look at each other but they must learn to look together towards a brighter future. I do not mean an idea of two people who are lovers, who love each other. But the idea is that you all come from the All That Is. You all come from The All That Is. So, in truth you love each other. I am not stating that you may enjoy or like what someone does. That would be ridiculous. But you will notice that when there is confrontation two people are looking at each other. They do not move. They do not cross a bridge. They do not communicate well at all. They become entrenched and mired down in their own immoveable viewpoints. They blame others. They do not enjoy the beauty that surrounds them. They point fingers and they do not appreciate that which is.
So, my question dear students is how can one cross a bridge in a proper manner if you are only looking at the other? You become so enmeshed if you will that the venom that each one has poisons the atmosphere, the literal air that you breathe. You do not live behind closed doors. It is the enlightened individual who would with the aid of himself/herself turns to their adversary, their love if you will and states, let us look together. Let us work towards something even if it seems small or insignificant at the start. On the physical plane change is not instantaneous. It takes effort. When you work in combination with someone else to ease the burden change occurs. If you work together to move the boulder that blocks your path then you succeed. The giving and the taking when joined as one allows you to prosper because both of you then decide to cross a bridge together.
Now the question arises, what do you leave behind? What bridge do you burn? You burn intolerance. You destroy fear. You gain enlightenment. The prejudice of the unknown is lessened since you are walking together hand and hand. The object is to promote both of you in a fair and just manner. The old statement is quite true, I could not have done this without you. But yes, you must cross the bridge when you come to it. The question is what happens when you don’t? As I have previously stated the repeatable ideas and events and challenges that the universe throws at you become ever more difficult to ignore. You cannot bury something that you do not like for in reality you call out again and again for assistance on that very subject.
One may ask, can I cross a bridge alone? The answer should be obvious, of course you can. Should you? Of course, even if it means burning the bridge and leaving the other behind. Not everyone is ready at the same point of reference to face the challenge that has presented itself. Not everyone chooses to make themselves available for prosperity. Many individuals pretend that they are moving on and they have crossed the bridge into a new dimension. The question for them is what work have you truly done? Are you still making the same errors in judgment? In truth, where are you going? Are you mired down in the event or do you seek new solutions to old problems? These are the questions that will allow you to give and to take.
How do you know what bridge to cross and which one to burn? The answer is simple, let us assume that you make an error and realize that this bridge was not for you. What do you believe that you should do? The answer is so obvious that it is frighteningly simple, you rebuild the bridge that you crossed. You go back to the problem. You approach it anew and then by magic you will find yourself at another bridge that will lead you in an entirely different direction. The person who states, I am afraid chooses to be afraid. Errors adjust errors, it is not a finality; it is not an ending of itself. But if you need assistance look together, work together. View the challenges and opportunities together. Do not look at each other and become at odds with that person even if your original viewpoints seem diametrically opposed. The challenge is to find common ground. A bridge to prosperity is always there. Eliminate the bridge to poverty, to repetition, to heartache by working with individuals that can assist you. The future is always based upon the now. Enjoy that which you are. Expand yourself and you will find which bridges are there for your benefit and which ones you may destroy. Work together in a productive manner and the challenges and opportunities of physical plane existence become laughable because they are in truth a remembrance of that which you are already are. I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:06.)
Let us continue: Isabella, I noticed that you are not feeling overwhelmingly prosperous this evening. The lecture is a very important one especially if you look at it in a broad sense for yourself. How long will it take you to type it up? (Group laughter.)
Isabella… Six months. I got to shoot big.
Seth… Try again.
Isabella… Five months?… Four months?… Three months? Come on! Two months, that’s eight weeks. Seven weeks. (Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Would you… how about a week?
Isabella… No. Absolutely unequivocally no.
Seth… Then let’s be reasonable.
Isabella… Six weeks.
Seth… Not reasonable.
Isabella… Five weeks.
Seth… Not reasonable.
Isabella… That’s reasonable you give Frank six weeks. Four weeks, a month.
Seth… Fine.
Isabella… Fine. (Stephanie laughing.)
Seth… From today.
Isabella… Why do I have to type it? Because I’m not writing?
Seth… And I…
Isabella… Maybe I’m not taking notes because that I am not feeling well.
Seth… That is the reason why you must type up this lecture so that you…
Isabella… You type it, Frank!
Frank… Do you know what’s really good, there’s no questions?
Isabella… We didn’t ask anything.
Frank… You’re getting off again. There’s like no questions.
Isabella… Oh, there will be questions.
Frank… I’ll get you my tape recorder, you can put it on slow.
Stephanie… It’s only like four pages in typing language. (There was more banter about the length of typing that was not completely clear.)
Seth… Now that we have gone on in terms of whining and the crying we shall move along. You have a month from tonight. I was tempted to give you two weeks but I was generous because you weren’t feeling well.
Isabella… I have a lot of dis-ease.
Seth… One day less than a month, care to go on?
Isabella… I just said that I have a lot of dis-ease.
Seth… Two days less than a month. (Stephanie laughing,)
Frank… I hate that.
Isabella… Can I ask my question?
Seth… Now you may ask your question.
Isabella… Um, I had difficulty meditating today.
Seth… How long did you try and meditate for?
Isabella… I tried to do the two minutes like you said and I really couldn’t, I could not go there. I really had a hard time shutting my mind off.
Seth… Then one must then learn to try a focus meditation.
Isabella… I did, I was focusing on my breathing.
Seth… No, that’s not a focus meditation. A focus meditation is on an idea a thought, a subject, an event.
Isabella… I did, I thought about prosperity.
Seth… That’s not specific enough. In other words. you may focus for example on a meditation of for example for you losing weight. So, you would sit down and you would contemplate the idea of how it would feel to lose weight. That is a focused meditation on a specific idea or subject. Or you may want to do a non-focused mediation and just sit there quietly and let whatever thoughts come in for it matters not. And you will learn to do this on a day to day basis and it will certainly, you will excuse the expression give you peace of mind. You will then in relating this back to our lecture you will understand in a far clearer manner the idea that what bridge you are at and where and how to cross it. For you tend to fall back upon old ways if you will and of course this is not helpful at all. Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Did I answer your question?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… (Is laughing hardily, probably looking at Isabella.) No way! (Stephanie laughing and then Isabella laughing who may be gesturing at Frank.) Wow.
Seth… Pass the microphone.
Frank… Now I am asking two questions. (Frank laughing and the group is giggling.)
Isabella… That’s alright, I’ll remember the next time that you are going to type.
Frank… You… Listen you could not surpass what you did on the 29 pages that I typed up, so.
Isabella… Yeah, that’s bad.
Frank… And next time don’t tattle tale on me.
Isabella… I didn’t.
Frank… (In a whiney voice.) You gave Frank six weeks! (Group laughing.)
Okay, the idea of looking towards together could you give me that in a form to help couples that I might be working with.
Seth… Couples who are at odds tend to view each other with disdain, they point fingers at each other. She did this, she did that, he did this he did that. I said this, he doesn’t listen. Instead of the finger pointing if you love each other you will say yes this is a problem. How can we both solve the problem together? What are some of your ideas about this problem? What are some of mine? Well I want to ignore this. Well if you want to ignore this how does that assist me? Do you understand what I am saying when individuals one believes there is a problem one believes there is none? How does that assist me? So, when you get individuals on common ground, they then “walk” together to solve the problem. For the first step has already been taken by seeing a therapist. Not that many of you do any good but that is neither here nor there. (Seth often comments about therapists negatively and humorously as he has explained that therapists tend to take away patient’s creativity and freewill which hinders change. He advocates asking questions to engage thinking, among other things. It is interesting to note that over the years many therapists and teachers have sat around the table.)
Frank… This is going to; this may be a little concrete but…
Seth… Well that might be helpful for you.
Frank… Thanks. (Frank chuckles.) For couples to, to teach couples to listen with more than with just their ears I have them facing each other. Should sometimes I change it up and throw them on the couch, so they are actually next to each other?
Seth… No, actually in this instance when you teach couples who love each other to look forward it is better that they have a face to face dialog because this way the expressions of want, the body language of want, the tension of want is easily recognized by the other. Nonverbal communication is much more effective than the word. Words are perhaps the least effective form of communication because they cannot be interpreted well. Nonverbal communication when somebody points a finger, when somebody’s face shows anger is clear that there is something wrong that you cannot hide from. Do you understand?
Frank… I do. But I was just taking some of the metaphor of looking towards something together and I know concretely…
Seth… I know that’s when you get lost in the little forest there.
Frank… That’s why I asked. I have other questions that…
Seth… Go ahead.
Frank… No, they are off topic. I would rather go back to them.
Stephanie… Well I would just ask a patient…
Frank… I have a patient question too, um…
Seth… Jasmine, do you have anything?
Jasmine… No, actually I am going to say goodnight.
Frank… See you next week.
Jasmine… Goodnight everybody.
Frank… I have a mentally ill patient that I am working with. He is pretty, he is somewhat psychotic at times. He’s a gentleman from Morocco so there is this cultural piece. He has difficulties with his eyes and I have worked quite a bit around with him to try and ease up his issue with this. So, in other words he has kind of a thing like don’t think of a pink elephant and of course he thinks of a pink elephant. In this case he looks into pocketbooks, he looks at their groins and…
Seth… You realize this is a form of jealously.
Frank… He’s jealous of the people, actually no.
Seth… Actually yes.
Frank… No, I didn’t realize, I understand…
Seth… Oh.
Frank… what you’re saying. So, I could explore that with him. Is there anything else… that would be helpful to work with this gentleman?
Seth… When someone deals with jealously, they have I do not, the question is what do they have? What do they feel that they are lacking? Those are the questions that need to be explored. Are there any other questions?
Then let me leave you all with this: I have touched upon two ideas, the bridge and the individuals who love each other. When you face the challenges fairly, life is easy. You work together, problem solving becomes simple. Your needs are met. When you refuse to cross a bridge, when you do not burn behind you that which no longer serves you then of course you wants magnify, fears increase, prosperity falls away. I bid both of you a fond good evening.(Session ended at 9:37 PM)
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have… (Seth threw down a pair of glasses that Jerry was wearing because of a recent surgery.)
Frank… It’s like a blast from the past! (There was laughter as this was a ritual in the past when Jerry wore glasses.)
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here again this evening. They are quite annoying; I shall put them in a… keep your hands off that.
Stephanie… I was going to put them in the thingy.
Seth… We have been speaking about the concept here of Change. Under our generalized category we shall again look at the idea of give and take if you will. We have previously discussed the general notion, are you a giver or are you a taker? We have come to the conclusion that many of you don’t know what you are, which is perfectly satisfactory. But more importantly so each of you must finally come to realize that whether you are a giver you must do so in a proper manner. If you are a taker, you must also take in a proper manner. For without doing either one correctly you slip into the category of negative energies. This being stated…
Jasmine… Wait a minute. Slip into category of negative what?
Seth… Energies. The concept here of being a worrier falls into the idea that whether you are a giver or a taker you either are not getting enough or you are not giving enough.
Jasmine… I don’t understand, what because you are worrier…
Seth… Let me, let me re-explain…
Jasmine… you are not giving enough and getting enough?
Seth… Yes, let me re-explain this. I stated if one is a worrier whether you are in a larger sense a giver or a taker, if you are a giver you tend to worry about how much do I have to give? What are my resources where can I keep on giving without running short?
Jasmine… That’s the giver from a worrying…
Seth… From a worrying standpoint. The taker will there be enough? I will worry about this, I will worry about this, I will worry about that. So, it becomes a broad spectrum, what can I gather and take into myself that I can worry about. (The reader should note that by paying attention to what and how you worry is a clue as to whether you are a giver or a taker, F.N.)
Jasmine… Okay I understand.
Isabella… So that’s a taker?
Seth… That would be a taker.
Isabella… So, takers, will there be enough? What…
Seth… Will there be enough of? Will I have enough? If we relate this to change and I have clearly stated that change itself is mandatory, is necessary if an individual will allow him/herself to grow. That fact in and of itself defines the physical plane experience. We have previously dealt in many past sessions with the concept here of growth so we shall again move around the table so that we can get a consensus if you will of how each of you would define growth. Do we have a volunteer who would like to start? Good, I’m very glad for you since you have so many questions we’ll start here with Isabella. (Isabella giggles.)
Isabella… Um, growth?
Seth… Yes, that is the word.
Isabella… Is the process in which you utilize changes within your existence to manifest yourself into what you were not at some point and allow your experiences to help you within that development.
Frank… Growth would be the increase in learning that one has, especially defined by experience or in an experiential manner.
Jasmine… Ah, growth is an evolving into more than you were before that comes in conjunction with learning and experience.
George… Growth is…
Seth… Hold the microphone please.
George… Sorry. Growth is basically how you assimilate experience beings or matter, anything you interact with into your life whether in positive way or a negative way whether you are learning more or learning less.
Stephanie… I see growth as an expansion of self going from point A to point B etcetera ah, based on experience.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… Oh, growth expands, I am thinking more opportunities from experience, to be open to change and expand your creativity.
Seth… Now that we have all given beautiful, esoteric definitions why don’t we get down to the simplest idea of all? Growth is a gathering and an accumulation of experiences on the physical plane to enhance that which you are. That being stated, the idea that your interactions with others defines to a large extent your perceptions of what the physical plane offers. One must look at the idea that for many the physical plane is a confusing clutter of energies, perceptions, conflicting ideas, morals and individuals who choose to grab what they can at the expense of others. The expression, life is not fair is a defining idea of the previous sentence or two. In many religions the concept of spring is necessary for it allows families and certainly individuals to sweep away, to clean up the clutter of the hibernation of winter. You find something interesting, Isabella?
Isabella… It’s just so bizarre that the story that my kids had today about, their listening selection was all about hibernating in the winter and coming on the spring. So freaky because the whole thing was about this bat and finding the bat and helping it survive in the winter and then finally it’s released in the springtime. It’s just very…
Seth… Well, I did very well on the test (Group laughter) if I must tell you.
Isabella… Yeah, I don’t know how the kids did.
Seth… Now, the give and take here between the clutter and a group of individuals are the perceptions that each has. One may look at a room and see nothing but garbage, an excess of and that individual must change their perception and sweep away the excess in their lives. Now, it is important here to note that the giver will tend to look at this clutter and try to fit the pieces of this clutter into others’ lives. They will offer their ideas on dot, dot, dot for it matters not.
Stephanie… What do you mean?
Seth… In other words, for example, give us a moment… Did you not do this recently?
Stephanie… Ah…
Seth… Chandelier. (I believe Stephanie gave away her chandelier to someone.)
Stephanie… Oh yeah (Laughs.)
Seth… Let us move along.
Jasmine… Clutter could be opinions?
Seth… Clutter could be opinions. It can be items. It can be ideas. It can be viewpoints. Clutter is.
Stephanie… How are you able to get that like that? That is such a random thing.
Seth… When someone asks a question… (Stephanie was mumbling to Frank about how Seth could know about the chandelier.) Let me, let me pause here from my lecture. When somebody asks a question and I am aware that things are relevant to that individual because they are open, I can easily then differentiate that which you require as compared to that which someone else might require from the same level of understanding. When a person is closed, I must be very guarded and careful not to give away their secrets for that is their choice. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… I believe I have answered your question.
Stephanie… Right, but how did the chandelier thing… I’m sure that was not significant up till this very second.
Seth… Why do you believe that anything anyone does around this table is not significant?
Stephanie… No, it has…
Seth… Please explain this to me. This is going to require some explanation.
Stephanie… Please explain why what?
Seth… What everyone does around this table is not significant especially to me?
Stephanie… Every single piece of minutia? Some things…
Seth… Answer my question. There are certain things that you may believe that are miniscule, the line of study is unimportant, things that do not matter. How do you know? How do you know this to be factual? That’s what you stated.
Stephanie… Well, I don’t. It’s just my own judgment…
Seth… Oh, you don’t know whether things are important or not.
Stephanie… I mean just the idea of this chandelier thing was like this aside to this whole entire day that I had.
Seth… And what does that mean? That it is not important? That it did not count? (Seth’s voice throughout this exchange had been quite emphatic.)
Stephanie… No but…
Seth… The line of study wasn’t there?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) My question really is, how did you retrieve that information?
Seth… Because I’m a lot older, a lot wiser, a lot smarter and a lot more astute than you are.
Stephanie… Right but did you research that…
Seth… For example, when you look at this tablecloth you see a yellow tablecloth, some lights, some darks, some holes in it that transverse the length of this tablecloth. I see the atoms that make it up. I speak to them.
I’d like to get back to my lecture, can you hold on? (I believe this involved an exchange between Seth and Isabella.)
Do you understand?
Stephanie… So just because I like to understand the mechanism of, when you…
Seth… There’s no mechanism, you do not have the ability, next.
Stephanie… Really? So, when you…
Seth… See me in approximately two or three billion years.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Because I know you know what’s going to go on at this table…
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… and how your lecture is going to go and all of that…
Seth… Every word is measured carefully.
Stephanie… Every single, (Speaking at the same time.) okay. So, when you do that research within that research is how my life fits into that…
Seth… Did I not just pause and say give us a moment?
Stephanie… Uh huh.
Frank… So, he looks.
Stephanie… Alright, Frank.
Seth… Please read my last sentence.
Isabella… Clutter is…
Stephanie… That the giver will tend to look at this clutter and try and fit the pieces of this clutter into other’s lives. They will offer their ideas on.
Isabella… Clutter is…
Seth… They will offer their ideas on how to unburden the clutter in their life by giving something away whether it be an idea, a thought, a feeling or an object, it matters not. The taker on the other hand looks at this clutter and feels burdened by it. If it weighs heavily upon them, there is a piece of dirt in the kitchen that nobody else might see, the room has things placed around it in an unsightly manner. They become disenchanted with that which surrounds them. It is this disenchantment… (Someone said go slow and Seth paused.) It is this disenchantment that requires our individual to change their surroundings by cleaning up that which they perceive as excess. Excess itself for most obviously means too much of a good thing or a bad thing for that matter. If you have too much delicious food one would tend to gain weight. If one gives too much, you are giving in excess. If one demands too much, you are taking in excess. The concept here of change between individuals is necessary. The concept here of change between individuals is necessary so that the giver and the taker may become comfortable with each other. Without this comfort level there can only be conflict. As an aside here by the idea of conflict I do not mean arguments, I do not mean anger. The conflict is between the looking at something, a line of study if you will and learning to balance the idea that if I give this, they will take that. If we are both givers, we can give away properly. If we are both takers we may take from this properly. You have a question here, Jasmine?
Jasmine… I’m confused here; it refers to looking at lines of study and learning what?
Seth… And learning to, I will re-explain this in a different way.
Stephanie… Meaning to balance the idea that if I give this, they will take that.
Seth… If you are both givers one does not want to tend to give away the house.
Jasmine… So, you want to… one should be a give and one should be…
Seth… No, not at all. If you are both takers one does not want to take everything by the same idea and throw it in the garbage can.
Jasmine… Right, just learn to take or give appropriately.
Seth… In an appropriate fashion and the conflict that arises is the balancing of that which makes you and your energies comfortable as compared to the others in your communal setting. Remember here you are not alone.
Isabella… So, the give and take between the communal setting?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Must be balanced?
Seth… If progress or if experience or better yet if growth is to be achieved.
Isabella… Okay. So, with, ah, just using my example of living in the house obviously, this communal setting is obviously that lesson of give and take. I mean it’s so very clear about the three of us giving and taking appropriately.
Seth… By the way, how are you doing with writing things and putting them down? Not well, are you?
Isabella… I’m not writing anything down, but I feel that I’m very comfortable with how we’re working with each other.
Seth… That may be but you still must follow the directions.
Isabella… Why is that though?
Seth… Because it is a likelihood that people tend to forget, and I do not want forgetting.
Isabella… Okay. So obviously the three of us are trying to learn this give and take balance, correct?
Seth… Correct, go ahead.
Isabella… And obviously it feels more balanced when we are giving and taking appropriately and at least…
Seth… How are the conflicts when you are giving and taking correctly?
Isabella… They are lessened.
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… No, I just wanted to make that comment.
Seth… Now: in the idea of change you have certain obligations which of course as I just previously stated must be balanced. Your obligations obviously to the others within your family community, work community, social community; your relationships within all of these communal settings must be balanced if any change is possible. For without the idea of being able to move freely, to change a sense of… (Seth said, dot, dot, dot) there can be no balance.
Isabella… So, you need to move freely?
Seth… You need to be able to move freely. You must be able to express that which concerns you and you must balance that by the idea of what the other meaning the others in your communal setting find either agreeable or disagreeable with what your obligations are. A good example of this learning to balance here can be seen in the idea of newspapers and coffee. The idea of balancing, bringing in a newspaper but getting a cup of coffee is certainly an important one for all. The readers of this material may take from this that if one member of a household is responsible for making the coffee for the household but another member is leaving earlier but brings in the newspaper so the others may enjoy it. There is a balance here, one gives one takes, one takes one gives so it tends to even itself out if you will.
Isabella… But then aren’t people playing both roles?
Seth… Let us correct the idea of playing both roles. What we have stated this last week, but I am going to repeat myself. There is not an individual who has ever existed on the physical plane that does not give in one sense and take in the other sense. But that is not what we are talking about. It is the overall person, are you a giver or are you a taker? And that of course you do not know, nor will I tell you.
So, your obligations here with our incident that we have just described balance your needs and allow the others in the communal setting to balance theirs.
Isabella… But then it just becomes like second nature almost, like my father always makes the coffee at night. I mean occasionally he’ll forget but that’s fine. And I always bring in the newspaper and now it’s like I have a whole routine. I mean I come downstairs from getting ready in the morning and I immediately go outside and bring in the newspaper. So, it just and if I don’t do it, it feels like weird now whereas prior to I might have never thought about doing it. And my father also feels guilty if doesn’t make the coffee. So, it’s kind of like doing those obligations become very much standard to…
Seth… You have described in a very simple manner the idea of growth. You are gathering experiences that you are making part of yourself. Do you understand?
Isabella… Of course, and of course it’s simply being put, newspaper and coffee but obviously it’s a much larger…
Seth… It’s a larger (Said emphatically) issue.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… And it is the balancing here that is of course the important factor.
Isabella… But isn’t that really key to any relationship?
Seth… That’s key to change. Nothing is static, nothing is always the same, nothing is always the same as it was. For example, you sit here and look at this tablecloth, yet if you were to look at this tablecloth five minutes from now it is different than what it was and therefore the idea here of change becomes relative to that which you are. Does that help you?
Isabella… Ah yeah, it’s just about how you deal with change? Is that…
Seth… Change is to be relished. Change is to be sought after. Change is a necessity for growth. The give and take within that idea is of course first learned as an infant soul. Your perceptions there are different. As a baby soul your perceptions of fitting into a community are different so that the change, the give, the take within those settings are of course different than they were as an infant soul. As a young soul the give, the take, the desire for power, the grasping for that which the physical plane offers; different than the other two. As a mature soul, what is your relationship to giving and taking? What is your relationship to another who gives and takes? All these are part of growth. The old soul looks at giving and taking as a means of expressing the higher qualities of the physical plane; that which becomes necessary for advancement. His views, meaning the old soul’s are vastly different from yours since they have already gone through the simplistic changes that you are first studying now.
The obligation that each of you has is of course first to self. The primary concern must be the satisfaction of your own viewpoint. Now here is a difficult problem, when you move into negative areas in change one’s viewpoint becomes so important that the individual cannot and will not consider, understand or view another’s ideas. They always find a reason or an excuse to prove their point. They never view the idea could I be wrong as a possibility! Therefore, the obligation to self does not and should never mean that only I count. The largest obligation to self must be the idea that the others, they have a vested interest in this line of study. If this is so, how can I balance that which I am or desire against their desires in a fair and just manner? That my dear students requires contemplation, effort and a work ethic that must be renewed on a moment to moment basis. You cannot balance your life without understanding.
Stephanie… So, can I ask a question? How would you achieve balance with an individual who is not open to…
Seth… Why do you have to achieve balance? Is it your responsibility to balance anyone else other than self?
Stephanie… No, but if they are not affording opportunity for give and take how does it work?
Seth… If they do not afford an opportunity for give and for take you may present that which you believe in a fair and just manner. You always will leave the possibility open for their conversation if you will so that they may hold a dialog with you. The give and take here between two individuals even when one is steadfast is necessary for your growth as well as theirs. Do you understand Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Balance comes when two individuals are willing to view each other in a fair and just manner and if they do not so be it. Remember you cannot win because you just want to. Winning is never the object of confrontation. Confrontation is to promote understanding! Do you understand?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:09 PM.)
Let us continue: So, within our discussion of change we have come to the idea here that the obligations one has must be weighed and measured, balanced if you will in terms of your own needs as compared and contrasted to someone else. Each of you must be constantly aware of the fact that one whether you are a giver or a taker must not overstep their bounds because you violate, you violate your obligation to self and to others. Are there any questions?
Isabella… But how can you, how can you do that if you don’t know whether you are a giver or a taker?
Seth… It matters not what you are. Remember you give in a positive sense; you take in a positive sense. If you are giving or taking in a negative area, then of course you violate that which is required of you. Do you understand?
Isabella… Are we ready for unrelated or do you want to stick to related questions?
Seth… We will always stick to related questions first, if there are none of course then we may move on.
Isabella… Oh, I did have another related question. How do you know if you have excess?
Seth… When you have excess in anything that you don’t need whether it be in clothing…
Isabella… Be quiet. (Isabella kidding probably directed to Jasmine.)
Seth… food, friendships, these things may be had and actually become burdensome if you will. Then there is an excess of. Remember the universe will provide all that you require but and here is the but if you have forty-five friends and feel obligated to deal with each one of them in a timely fashion it may not be possible. Therefore, you have excess and the individuals that you are calling friend are most of the time mere acquaintances. Does that help you? Are there any other questions?
Frank… How would…
Isabella… I would ask but he said to wait for…
Frank… Well, this is a question I came in with but it’s kind of related. I have two couples that I am currently working with. I’m kind of concerned about my work with both of them. They are couples who are splitting up and we are trying to figure out how to go step by step to be able to do this in a manner that is I guess fair and is not hurtful in both cases. There are children.
Seth… You must deal with the idea here is and you don’t even have to write this down, you already know this. You must deal with the idea here of in five years is this vitally important to you? Does the piece of furniture matter? Does the logistics of matter? And for the most part it will not. So, they must learn to balance that which they believe is so important to them with reality.
Frank… So, if it’s about the kid, that matters!
Seth… That matters.
Frank… So that can help them…
Seth… The other things are things.
Isabella… In relationship to what has been going on at work, I’m wondering if you could shed some light onto the friend situation? I’m becoming very anxious and troubled by situations. I was wondering if you could…
Seth… Well first we are eventually heading into spring, spring tumors, spring cancer; that is the first order of business. The second order of business is (Isabella laughs) what have you done either giving or taking to promote friendships or have you drifted away?
Isabella… Well…
Seth… Please do not answer by the idea it is them.
Isabella… No, no, I’m not, I’m not. I, I feel I’ve drifted away but I feel I’ve drifted away, I know you just said not to do this but because of their actions.
Seth… How about for example you make a one hundred and eighty degree turn and say…
Isabella… I’ve tried that.
Seth… How about if you make a one hundred and eighty degree turn and state to one or to both, I really miss getting together with you people, could we plan something? Whether it be a night out with the girls or anything else, is that a possibility? Then if they say no then you do not have to deal with these people.
Isabella… But I have done that.
Seth… And what did they say? Could we plan something?
Isabella… They say, they say, yeah okay and then it never happens.
Seth… And then what is your next statement?
Isabella… I’m actually uncomfortable to say that to them. I’m uncomfortable at this point to even come to them and say…
Seth… Then what are you complaining about?
Isabella… Um, well, I feel like they’re out to get me. I feel like…
Seth… Brain tumor. No one is out to get you unless you put weight and value to their actions.
Isabella… Right, okay so how do I allow what they do that bothers me to pass through?
Seth… Just ignore it. It’s the simplest factor of it is. Somebody says, somebody does something and you say that was foolish, that was ridiculous and just walk away.
Isabella… But why am I giving so much value to people that really…
Seth… Because this is not what you “want.”
Isabella… What do you mean by that? Because I’d rather have them as friends, even though I don’t view, even though rationally I know that they are not really friends?
Seth… They may be good acquaintances and that’s all that is satisfactory for now.
Isabella… But why do I feel hurt?
Seth… Why wouldn’t you feel hurt? You put weight and value in something and if something is not returned why would you not feel bothered?
Isabella… But when do you say enough is enough? Like when do you say…
Seth… Whenever you choose to.
Isabella… Like I’m done giving and giving…
Seth… Whenever you choose to! Read this lecture again and again and again and again.
Isabella… But do you feel that the reason why… I am asking… I don’t really understand why the friendship has diminished the way that it has.
Seth… You just told me why.
Isabella… Because I pulled back?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… But I don’t really see how I pulled back.
Seth… Whether you see it, whether you don’t see it, whether you understand it, it is their perception that causes them to back away.
Isabella… But they’re, they’re exclusionary. They choose to not allow other people into.
Seth… Then what, then why is this all bothering you if they are allowing no one else within their circle?
Isabella… Because I once was in and now, I’m out; I’m out of the circle now.
Seth… So then work your way back in if it matters to you if it does not leave it go.
Isabella… But I don’t, I don’t know.
Seth… You will never know until you make up your mind. I cannot help you with this. This is foolishness because all it serves is a purpose of making you more miserable which is okay with me. I do certainly not mind.
Isabella… Well, I don’t want to be miserable, that’s the point. And I…
Seth… Then don’t be.
Isabella… And I don’t want to regress to what work was like four years ago when I was having trouble.
Seth… You know exactly what to do.
Isabella… No, I don’t know what…
Seth… Yes, you do. You will either proceed to attempt a reconciliation if you will.
Isabella… But why does it have to come from me?
Frank… Because you want the change.
Seth… Because you… that’s the answer.
Isabella… Okay. Okay.
Seth… Do you understand now? (Isabella mumbling.) Not happy but you do understand.
Isabella… I, I, I don’t…
Stephanie… Do you agree with why it changed?
Isabella… Not really. I mean I do see some part of it as being my fault of pulling back. But I pulled back for the right reasons. I pulled back of the whole tenure issue, and I was trying to separate myself from everybody so that way I wouldn’t… somehow wouldn’t get into Sheila’s ears and that kind of thing. So, I pulled back in that respect and then I guess when…
Seth… Did you ever explain this to them that Sheila made it very clear she did not want you to deal with them?
Isabella… No Sheila… that is not true. Sheila made it very clear that she wanted me to be friends with them. But I backed off about talking about personal things and that kind of stuff because I was afraid of knowing how they leak things into the school. So, I backed off from them because I know who they are and how they are.
Seth… All you have to simply state is if you feel that I was not being kind, fair or just I did it because of Sheila. That’s all you have to state. And I hope I didn’t hurt any of your feelings. That’s it.
Isabella… I just don’t know when it’s enough.
Seth… No one can tell you when enough is enough. That’s up to you.
Isabella… I don’t know…
Seth… Are there any other questions?
George… I have a lot of anxiety in my work this week; partially because we are getting our reviews tonight, in meetings, do our reviews. Really, I wanted to ask, I’m not good at judging how other people perceive me at work. Like, I know what I do everyday, I know how I work but do others like, could you comment on how others see me?
Seth… Futuristic, question I cannot answer. But let me ask you a more important question; do you know your own self worth? The answer is no. I believe that it doesn’t matter what other people think until you find your own self. Does that make more sense now?
George… That’s helpful, that makes sense.
Seth… No, it is the most helpful thing I can give you is a sense of you.
George… Em.
Seth… Until you define your own self worth it matters not what anyone else says.
Isabella… He has to take control.
Seth… He controls nothing. What is controllable are his actions. If he doesn’t like it here, he can go do something else. His dream is his dream. His ideas are his ideas and if he doesn’t accept it here, he can do something else and then change it and go back and try again.
George… On a personal note, this may sound kind of weird to everyone else um, but I was trying to gauge certain plans for the near future to know what I am talking about, I’m not sure it will, if it is a good idea if the people involved will enjoy it and I wanted to ask you…
Seth… Futuristic question, no possibility of an answer that is factual. Remember nothing is written in stone. Your ideas of what you believe people may like or not like are based upon experiences you had with these individuals. But let us assume somebody loves going to a Broadway play just to give you an example.
George… Em hmm.
Seth… What happens if you pick a Broadway play that they hate? Do you understand the question that you’ve asked and why it can’t be answered fairly?
George… Hmm.
Seth… Is there anything else?
George… Not in the scope of this, tonight.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just want to ask about you know you’re talking about the clutter and the taker looks at things… the clutter and feels burdened by it. What are you talking about when you say the individual has to change their surroundings by cleaning up that which they perceive as excess? How are they going to change their surroundings, by their perception of it?
Seth… One, their perceptions of what excess really means. Number two, clutter does not necessarily mean a house that has a thousand pieces of bric a brac in it plus clothing all over the place. That may be physical plane clutter, but we are not describing that.
Stephanie… Right metaphorically clutter.
Seth… Clutter itself is when you are pulled in so many different directions you have no sense of. And when you have no sense of you then become angry, bothered and upset because you cannot have this or do that. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… So, clutter itself to some individuals certainly may be a house full of whatever physical plane items there are because they believe that it is not to their benefit. They believe that they want to see just everything in certain positions. Others don’t care. Who’s right I cannot say. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Okay. So, they will… the taking in is the pulling in so many, allowing themselves to be pulled in so many directions?
Seth… It is taking a little of this, a little of this, a little of this, a little of this, a little of this and now you are so you’ll excuse the expression spaced out. Should I worry about this can I handle this, should I do this first, my days are full, my nights are full, my life is full. You’ve taken in so much that you’re the clutter of that which you perceive. That which you understand becomes impossible to deal with because there is no way in which this type of an individual can be pulled in seventy-three different directions at any one time.
Stephanie… Right, so how are they going…
Seth… What they do…
Stephanie… balance this?
Seth… is break apart from the whole smaller steps.
Stephanie… Em.
Seth… They tell one small thing at a time, and they handle that one small thing. They take that small thing, start it, end it, finish it and then move on to something else. Remember a book is written one page at a time, it is not written as an entirety. Does this make sense to you?
Stephanie… Yeah. It’s a big process.
Seth… It is a very difficult one because these individuals, whether a giver or a taker, becomes so involved that they cannot see their way. Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Give and take, change, cleaning up of the obligations to, balance that is required of each individual will certainly allow you to fulfill your needs. When your obligations become confused, when you do not have balance, when you cannot clean up after yourself change becomes impossible; there is no give and take and your wants become magnified. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you again, here. We are going to speak of course on the subject of Change. We are going to start with a working set of definitions. The first word that I will have you pass around while I continue working on a project is the word “give”. Therefore, we need a working definition of the idea and the word give. Who would like to start our proceedings off?
Jasmine… I will. To me the word give means going beyond yourself, ah caring about others, not just yourself, thinking about others or other situations. It has to do with coming from a higher place than just self-absorption.
Seth… Next.
Shanna… I think of giving or give as doing something for somebody else or yourself.
Stephanie… I’m just thinking it is the offering of something, a part of yourself to another.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… Offering.
Seth… Repeat that please so that everybody can hear.
Betty… I was going to say also offering.
Isabella… I think it is offering and you know, to do things for someone or for yourself without expecting anything in return.
Arthur… To transfer or to allow or to make a gift of.
Frank… I’m just going to add the concept from last session having to do with appreciation like that of a flower, the giving of beauty because that’s what one feels when they are giving of self.
Seth… Jasmine, hold on to the microphone we started with you. The next word that we will need a working definition for is “take”.
Jasmine… Well, my initial reaction to the word take is much more selfish. In other words, it’s thinking about, but I know you could take something and it is not necessarily selfish but the connotation when I hear the word “take” it’s like a person who is just interested in what they can get.
Shanna… (Laughed.) I just, the first thing I think of is assuming that something is yours.
Stephanie… I’m just thinking about the idea of accepting.
Isabella… Yeah, me too.
Stephanie… And I am going to just accept what is offered.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… Receive.
Isabella… That was my initial thought also was to receive or to accept.
Arthur… And then I think of transfer but it’s in the other direction. It could have a connotation of appropriate and I also thought of accepting and receiving except it’s more, it almost seems more active.
Frank… To this one I would add the idea of knowing what you needed or what you wanted and therefore you take, and you could take care of self.
Seth… One of the projects that I have been working on that Mr. Thomas (Jerry’s friend who participate in a number of early sessions would be referred to as Mr. Thomas because of his doubting nature. He also enjoyed the idea of having Seth do things like turning off the lights to prove Seth’s existence.) would certainly enjoy that certainly creates major difficulties for myself, I would like you Isabella to please go into the man through whom I speak’s office, I have created on a printer on top of his work area two pieces of paper and if you would be kind enough to grab them I believe we can start from there. (Isabella went to get the pieces of paper.)
You found the two pieces of paper above the printer? I believe it’s where his secretary sits. (Frank is serving coffee in the background and the papers are located.)
I believe that the object here is that we may use the two sheets of paper as reference material for this evening. One of the things I have done is that I have used I believe your words would be an Oxford Dictionary to create that which you have required. That being stated we now have reference material that we may use for the idea of give and take. I have previously stated, and you may certainly do enough research for yourselves to read and speaking of reading how is the book coming Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Um.
Seth… Not well?
Stephanie… Some of it is coming.
Seth… Not at all, you only have less than four months to go.
Stephanie… Six months.
Seth… You had is the word. (Stephanie giggles.)
Now that being stated. There are nine and you may do the research on this yourselves, basic tenets or principles of types of individuals that I have described in various ideas in the past. Yet, in each of these concepts you are either a giver or a taker and it is interesting to note how you each believe in different ways. Therefore, we shall go around the table, and I would like each of you to define yourself since nothing is either positive or negative as either a giver or a taker. Betty, how do you define yourself?
Betty… As a giver.
Isabella… It would be a taker.
Jasmine… Giver.
Frank… Giver.
Arthur… Giver.
Shanna… Giver.
Stephanie… A giver.
Seth… It is quite interesting to note that many of you are incorrect. And what you are is for you to figure out and do not ask me. So, we will start with that statement in and of itself.
The difficulty that one has when one looks at the concept of change is to of course modify that which your perceptions are. Now a giver certainly may be classified as whether a positive individual in that one category only or a negative one. When one chooses to give freely you present others with opportunities for their own growth and advancement. Yet a giver may be quite negative in their ideas of how to give, how much to give and certainly when to give. Change, especially when one desires a change in others is a difficult procedure for all concerned. Giving quite commonly leads to abuse when done from a negative standpoint.
And again, I would suggest that you may choose to pass around my given or giving or giving sheets of paper so that you may look at this to try to get a broader concept of that which as we have defined things as.
When one gives incorrectly you foster a dependence that is unnatural. Others tend to demand more and more of the individual than they are capable of giving. The tendency for most individuals is to believe that a giver is a desirable or desired trait, yet most individuals abuse the idea and the necessity of giving correctly. An example of giving something correctly may be seen in the idea of how difficult it is for myself to manipulate the physical plane so that these two sheets of paper may be used as reference material. Now most certainly I could have written volumes on the paper but that would not have served any of you. Therefore, proper giving is always held within the limits established first by self. Change when viewed from the idea of giving properly encourages an individual to work towards an idea. A teacher gives information only. The student then has a choice to accept or reject that which has been given. Answers for the most part should rarely be given since they foster dependency. (A cell phone rang.) It does not bother me you may certainly continue. I believe that you may either fill that correctly for the man through whom I speak, or you may have it yourself at this point. (Perhaps someone was serving coffee.) Now, since they foster dependencies…
Jasmine… Is that the answers?
Seth… The answers. One must search if you will for the proper question. (Another phone ringing.) I shall pause here.
One’s basic personality is shaped just as for example you are a mature soul.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… That does not mean that you do not have charecteristics of an infant soul, an old soul or anything in between but your basic tenant here in each of those categories, each of the nine different personality types.
Isabella… When you say personality types you mean Sumafis, that kind of thing? (Sumafi is a soul family interested in teaching as explained in previous Seth material. I believe that the sheets of paper contained the names of the different soul families. Apologies to the reader, those sheets have gone missing.)
Seth… Things of that nature, yes. Become either a giver or a taker.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Therefore, it is not a question that you are all one or all the other.
Jasmine… You’re primarily one.
Seth… You primarily look at the physical plane from the standpoint of being a giver or a taker and that is one of the reasons why I manipulated the physical plane for…
Jasmine… I don’t understand why that… I didn’t understand that.
Seth… You didn’t understand what Jasmine?
Jasmine… You said, ah, an example of giving something correctly may be seen in the idea of how difficult it was for you to manipulate the physical plane to create those two sheets of paper so then you struggled to do it. I don’t understand how that is an example of giving? Giving something correctly?
Seth… You required the idea of just looking at the paper to give you a broader perspective.
Jasmine… So, you had to work hard…
Seth… For example, how long do you believe it took me to manipulate the physical plane so that those pages would appear?
Jasmine… I have no clue. I would say maybe days if you had to convince Jerry, or it could have been seconds. I don’t know. (Group Laughter.) No, I don’t mean that in any negative way.
Seth… First of all, the man through whom I speak had no part in this at all, he was totally unaware.
Jasmine… Uh huh.
Seth… This has nothing to do with him.
Jasmine… Okay.
Stephanie… That’s what I thought you did.
Seth… No, not at all. When I tell you that it took me approximately twelve centuries of your time to manipulate the physical plane which is one of the reasons why I rarely do this since it creates huge amounts of energy that I must gather, reshape, reform to have something to come to fruition at precisely the correct moment is a giving of oneself. Remember I must then divide myself into different areas for my own purposes. We must then give to you that which you require at a specific point of reference. This material would not have done you any good four years from now or four years ago. It needed to appear to you, now. So, the giving of one’s self requires diligence and work. Do you understand now?
Jasmine… The giving of one’s self?
Seth… In a correct manner.
Isabella… It’s hard to be giving.
Jasmine… Correct
Frank… Twelve centuries? Now I feel guilty about complaining about the twenty-nine measly pages of typing.
Seth… I can understand why you would feel guilty.
Frank… I don’t feel that guilty. (Laughter.)
Seth… I didn’t think so.
Isabella… I hear you, Frank.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… First, I am going to say thank you for all your efforts, pretty monumental. Can I see that? (Stephanie looks at the sheets of paper.)
Seth… Now…
Isabella… You left off with, since they have fostered a dependency, one must search for the proper questions.
Seth… The question must then cause the individual the giver and the recipient…
Jasmine… Cause the individuals? (Seth had not pluralized individual.)
Seth… Correct. The giver and the recipient…
Jasmine… You meant the taker?
Seth… No, my word was carefully chosen, recipient… to combine and change. Without this ability there is no progress and certainly change becomes difficult. If we look on the other side…
Jasmine… Before you do, can you give us a couple examples of everyday life in which a person has to give correctly?
Seth… State that again.
Jasmine… (Taking the microphone.) I said before you talk about the taker aspect, or the other side of this coin could you give some concrete examples of everyday living where individuals have to combine to change? Wait, wait, wait, wait, you said, (As Jasmine began to read from her notes.) You have to search for the proper questions and then the questions must then cause the individuals to combine and change. Without this ability there’s no progress and certainly change becomes difficult. So, can you give examples of how that occurs in everyday life?
Seth… Depending upon the individuals who are involved, for example…
Jasmine… Normal average people.
Seth… For example, let us give something you are familiar with, when you are working and diligently teaching did you not try to stimulate your students so that they would encourage their own growth? Or did you just provide them answers to their questions?
Jasmine… I tried to encourage them towards their own growth.
Seth… That is the same with any proper giving sequence. The same is true when one tends to give of themselves unselfishly. For example, you are aware of course that the man through whom I speak has had some physical difficulties of recent duration. When you would choose then to give of yourself in terms of let us say doing some grocery shopping for him, doing laundry, the question that arises is he using your giving in a proper manner? The answer would be only determined by the both of you. Is he appreciative or not? Did he receive what you gave in a proper manner? He is the recipient of your gifts. Or does one make demands that are not reasonable given a specific set of circumstances? Do you understand?
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… For example, we may use another idea. When our friend Frank has to help his daughter learn to drive does he give her the knowledge and ability in a fair and just manner? What does he do to provide her with the knowledge that he has? For example, he may say, when you are approaching this corner to make a right turn what should you do? If he gives her the answer she does not learn. If he stimulates her, she becomes a better driver. Does this help you?
Jasmine… Yes, thank you.
Seth… On the other side, the takers: when one tends to accumulate by existing in a situation where you become the primary focus of others then taking is detrimental. You have become a victim of your own greed. Because you are a victim one then always victimizes others. For whatever you can grab is never enough. Taking properly…
Jasmine… One moment…
Isabella… But can you be aspects of a taker and not necessarily all of the aspects? Or a giver for that matter?
Seth… As I stated previously, your basic tenant, whatever you are is governed by whether you are a giver or a taker. It does not mean that you are always positive. It does not mean that you are always negative. It is the force that is behind you.
Isabella… See but when you give this definition that you just gave, I don’t feel that that fits me. That you tend to always victimize others, I mean I don’t think that fits me as a taker but I believe that there are other aspects of my personality that are, that is a taker.
Seth… I’m using examples here and wait till I finish, and you can determine for yourself how you feel.
Isabella… Alright.
Jasmine… Taking properly…
Seth… When one chooses to take properly one then becomes the recipient of assistance in a way that promotes both individuals. You do not search for answers, (Seth stated, underline that.) help from the person who is offering that which they believe you require. As a teacher one would not do the homework of a student for what would they learn? Yet the student would not expect someone, a parent, a teacher, a friend, a colleague to do their work for them. They choose to become motivated. The taker requires motivation for change. They choose to become motivated so that they may establish a rapport, a give and take if you will with the other individual. The idea here of show me how so that I may practice and learn is the important factor in taking properly. When you require, need, or want another to do for you, you are taking improperly. Quite commonly takers look to blame others for their shortcomings. They do not accept criticism since they fear any change at all. They rarely have a proper sense of balance. Change for a taker who uses it improperly makes their life difficult since they choose to become dependent on others. It is always somebody else’s problem, never mine. Kaetorina, does this sound familiar?
Stephanie… Yes, very much.
Seth… It was a rhetorical question. Taking properly requires an individual to stop being spoon fed at the earliest possible point of reference. Commonly good parents demand too little and give too much towards their children. The wife who constantly compromises, who picks up her husband’s “dirty laundry” does nothing to foster change. The child who chooses not to do their chores and demands others attention constantly takes improperly. Each of you must determine where you fit into the giver and taker cycles.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue: One must take away their preconceived notions that giving and taking are in themselves positive or negative attributes. They’re neither. Each of you must determine for themselves what your premise is and yet it is no disgrace to be either one. Where you may do one perfectly well and be a true success. You may do one and be perfectly unhappy. Therefore, change itself comes from the idea that you must learn to be the best that you can. If you are a taker, learn to take properly. If you are a giver do not make others dependent upon you. We change others by giving and taking in a proper manner. One must first learn to always give or take for self in a proper manner. The others will then follow suit. You will each learn what you are not. You will learn what the others are and what are not. Eventually you will be able to put it all together so that change itself is not dependent upon giving or taking. Your attitude is what truly matters. Are there any questions?
Isabella… So, in a relationship is it, I don’t want to say necessary, is it more profitable to have one partner who is a giver and one partner who is a taker?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Can you elaborate on that?
Seth… When one partner tends to be a giver and the other a taker one has a greater tendency to become dependent…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… upon the other. But that doesn’t mean that it is proper or not proper.
Isabella… What if both are takers? Or both are givers?
Seth… It works perfectly in either sense. If both are givers one may give to the other in a proper manner. Darling, let me go to the bank for you today, I’ll take care of that.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… If both are takers, I understand that there is a problem here, let me lift your burden and I will try to accomplish that. I’ll move the rock away. I will take your responsibility for this job.
Jasmine… That one sounds like giving?
Seth… It is not. You are taking someone else’s choice. You’re not giving something to someone. No matter how you define giving and taking, nothing is more profitable than doing it correctly and it matters not who is what.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… The danger is of course when you do things improperly. That is where difficulties start. Are there any other questions?
Shanna… In regards to, you were saying how the best thing you can do for your students bringing them information is to ask them questions. What about when you have a student who questions you with everything?
Seth… Is that defiance?
Shanna… No, not at the start it’s not.
Seth… But it develops.
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… That person is what a giver or a taker?
Shanna… A taker.
Seth… They demand.
Shanna… So, what do you, what could I say to this student when I am being questioned on such matters that are for his own welfare and safety that he then says, why why, why? (Group laughter.)
Seth… Because the answer why, why, why is simple, why do you believe it is correct or incorrect? The answer is not for you to give information but to illicit information from the individual because they already know the answer. What you are dealing with is an oppositional form of behavior.
Shanna… Oh yeah, of course.
Seth… And one is opposed to something the more you tend to allow that person to get away with that behavior the more they demand.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… And there comes a time when the answer is I believe you must think about this for yourself.
Shanna… The sad part is as this individual struggled immensely with figuring those things on his own because he has…
Seth… Because nobody forces him to.
Shanna… Right and he gets into a panic state and sometimes cries and has breakdowns.
Seth… I understand that this is bothering you…
Shanna… Yeah!
Seth… take… not you.
Isabella… Not you. (Group laughter.)
Shanna… Oh, my kids are bothering me! Take?
Seth… Take some time. I would like to give you a few moments so that you may compose yourself and think about this.
Shanna… So, think about why I am asking you to do this?
Seth… Correct. And when you come to a decision, we will be happy to talk about it.
Shanna… And that’s not unreasonable for me to ask a five-year-old to do?
Seth… If you are asking a five-year-old to spend an hour pondering the question (Shanna laughs.) that is unreasonable. If you are asking a five-year-old two minutes doing something that is reasonable because it gives a pause.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… And it’s the object of a pause that is the creative ability.
Shanna… Okay, thank you.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I wanted to ask about Natalie and all the tremendous fears I’m seeing from her. If you can comment on them?
Seth… The fears that Natalie has, give us a moment, are primarily due to her erroneous belief that she is not.
Stephanie… Strong? Capable?
Seth… Whatever you choose to define that as. She believes that she is a not. There is a step called what I am not, what self is not.
Stephanie… That’s her step?
Seth… No, I’m not telling you that at all…
Stephanie… Oh.
Seth… But I am giving it to you because I wouldn’t (Tell Stephanie what step her daughter is on.) because it is an explanation of what she is doing. Therefore, if you are not, you then demand from others to make you what you choose to be. Help me, fix me, make me strong, don’t let others do for me.
Isabella… Natalie’s taking.
Seth… I’m not answering that.
Stephanie… So that’s what the karate is for.
Seth… Self.
Stephanie… And what about, you know what about when I, you know, went to kiss her and she was sleeping and she woke up petrified, but she didn’t really wake but she… that’s always how I feel she is even though it was in a sleep state, coming out of one or whatever. You know something is going to happen, I am going to die, she’s going to die, this is going to die, this is…
Seth… This is part of her personality that she will have to work diligently to change.
Stephanie… Okay, that is really what I’m speaking of. I understand this because I know this is the karate part and it is clearer and all that but what about this other fear of the death, loss, absence, horror?
Seth… It is the part of the same thing. When one is not confident because one has difficulty in school, one is picked on, one doesn’t have true friends, one is worried about loss of any type then of course the idea there becomes frightening, and the more frightened one becomes the more it magnifies as time goes along.
Stephanie… And why is it magnifying for her?
Seth… Because she is what she is. It is not your play; this is her play that she must work out and learn to become a confident individual. (Seth has explained to us that your life is like a play where you are the star and everyone else is just a supporting actor.)
Stephanie… Okay aside from the karate, can I help her when she is in these states?
Seth… You help her when she is in these states by fostering responsibility. The more she does for self the greater the likelihood that she will do for self without needing somebody to do for her.
Stephanie… So, in other words self-sooth or if she is feeling scared or whatever she can feel strong enough to handle it.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Aside from tearing downstairs from a tiny fly.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Tiny fly, (Said to others in group.) uh huh.
Seth… That is the point.
Jasmine… That’s a good point.
Shanna… Is it for Stephanie…
Isabella… It is very similar to me.
Shanna… Is it helpful for Stephanie to give her the strategies to use in these situations?
Seth… It is not strategies. When you are dealing with a seven-year-old child, her perception of the universe, the world around her is so narrow that one must then force her to expand her viewpoint. My friend didn’t like me today therefore I have no friends, that is a nonsensical statement. Yet is true for a five-year-old, a seven-year-old and that is the difficulty.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… As one expands, (Isabella says something about being a twenty-eight-year-old.) their ideas and who says you are twenty-eight? How old do you truly believe you are?
Isabella… Well, physical plane.
Seth… Who says you are a physical plane twenty-eight-year-old? Think about it.
Stephanie… So, like today what happened with Natalie on the bus with her friend, you’re saying that you know she got into this little fight and therefore she has no friends or Mona won’t like her anymore.
Seth… And therefore, my world and tragedies are what they are.
Isabella… So, I am repressed, what you are saying?
Seth… I’m not saying you are repressed. I am saying do you act as a mature twenty-eight-year-old individual?
Isabella… Ummm.
Seth… Well, that’s your statement, I don’t know if I agree…
Isabella… I don’t know! I didn’t know what you were getting at there?
Seth… You do not have to know; you just have to figure it out. Which again forces me to go back to a previous statement; my words are very carefully chosen. I may say the same thing as someone else would, but I say it in a, put quotes around here “devious manner,” close quotes. I do this since I require each of you to learn to think! Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Can I ask you what other responsibilities can I ask of Natalie…
Seth… Anything.
Stephanie… Anything? Anything that she’s doing something. Okay.
Seth… Have you for example said, let me see how you do your homework without me sitting with you, Natalie?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Shanna… I was just thinking that.
Stephanie… Right. Try it first and I will come in after or whatever that is.
Seth… And we will work together. Of course, you will not give her the answers. You will show her the methodology.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right and even just other things around the house where she could assist me.
Seth… Pick up a toy.
Stephanie… Yeah, anything.
Seth… Dust.
Isabella… Cook with me.
Stephanie… Besides, anything…
Seth… Let us not get ridiculous.
Isabella… (Isabella and Stephanie laughing as Stephanie is not known for her love of cooking.) I know I was… I thought it was funny.
Seth… It is. Perhaps it is not a bad idea.
Stephanie… And…
Frank… (Laughing.) Thems cooking words!
Stephanie… This I am not, is part of why the difficulty occurred today with Mona isn’t it? If I don’t get what I want, if you don’t do what I need then I’m lost.
Seth… And I am alone.
Stephanie… And I am alone. She had no capacity to say you know alright you can do my cookie pen thing first with the game and I’ll pick tht one on the second game. But some other kid would have.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Yeah. and so, I was trying to talk to her about that. Did she understand what I… when we discussed? (Seth is probably shaking his head no.) No. So how would I help her to understand that idea?
Seth… Ask a question.
Stephanie… Ask her?
Seth… Does it matter if you have the pen first or second?
Stephanie… Em hmm. Right does it matter? Okay. Because her perception is really that if Mona is mad at her then she won’t like her, and I can’t change that perception.
Seth… That is for her to change.
Stephanie… And that’s just over time with the learning of it.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Does it matter if we figure out the truth of whether we are a giver or a taker?
Seth… Only for everyone else but you because for you it is magnified that you ponder this! (Group is giggling.) For months and for months.
Frank… (Giggling.) So that means no, right?
Shanna… I have two questions. Okay, one is regarding another student of mine that I’m having not great difficulty with him, great difficulty with his situation, he is classified as severely learning disabled and speech and language impaired and he belongs in a different class placement meaning not mine, that’s what I would take that as. However, the district is saying that there’s not been another appropriate placement for him and I’m not quite sure how to handle the situation at all.
Seth… I believe that what you must do is challenge the authorities. You must enlist help. The help that you first of all must elicit is from, special ed teacher; you must elicit help from the school social worker…
Shanna… Right, now I have already done so. I am actually visiting the special ed teacher in the other school on Friday.
Seth… And therefore, you must elicit help eventually from your principle.
Shanna… Yeah, I’ve already did that too. Alright, but there is nothing else that I can do in addition to that?
Seth… You must work within a bureaucracy, which is at times quite difficult.
Shanna… Right.
Jasmine… It won’t require an aid?
Shanna… No, no, it is really a disastrous situation.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… I think I’ve done somewhat better in dealing with my sister and my niece and yet I ‘m a little concerned about the thick of things beginning to happen and I am just wondering if there’s anything that um…
Seth… What are you concerned about?
Arthur… I’m, I’m concerned that I will be drawn into…
Seth… And if you are drawn in, who is allowing it?
Arthur… I would be. I’m trying my darnedest not to.
Seth… But no, the statements themselves make no sense.
Arthur… How so?
Seth… If you believe that you are being drawn in against your will then you are allowing it, who is at fault?
Arthur… I am.
Seth… Do we need to go further?
Arthur… Well, it’s just hard for me…
Seth… Excuse me; is there anything that you can show me that is well worth while having, obtaining, getting or working towards that is not difficult?
Arthur… (Long pause.) I don’t know sometimes things come through grace I suppose; well alright I mean…
Seth… The answer is no. People who win multimillion-dollar lotos commonly go broke. I believe that’s a good example here for you. So that if you are drawn in against your will, who loses?
Arthur… I do and maybe they do as well.
Seth… Correct.
Arthur… I guess what it is, is that I am concerned about my ability to get back on my feet if I waiver or you know how to…
Seth… Let me answer as simply as a yes or a no. I will be drawn in; I will not be drawn in. I understand that you are having a bad time. I understand that you’ve had a bad time in the past, but you keep making the same mistakes. What have you done to change?
Arthur… Well, I’ve…
Seth… Not you, them.
Arthur… Oh. Alright.
Seth… Do you understand the question that I am truly asking?
Arthur… Yes. Yes, and I want to… I’m holding off on…
Seth… You’re holding your problems as theirs and not making them responsible for their problems.
Arthur… I also feel as though the timing of my asking certain questions of my sister is maybe important?
Seth… Or not.
Arthur… Maybe not. But I would choose to wait until after this wedding to do it.
Seth… Then do that.
Arthur… The only other question I have is about the thing that in the aboriginal paintings and the aboriginal work in Australia, the dots, the pointillism… in my meditations is there some special form of energy or… that they’re representing and that I was seeing?
Seth… Give us a moment, (At this point Seth researches, and Jerry’s head goes back and forth as if reading.) No, you are identifying with areas that you have previously experienced.
Arthur… Is the…
Seth… The same story may be held true when the man through whom I speak told Jasmine to watch Isabella when they went to France because an incident would occur. (Seth is referring to material from past lives.)
Arthur… So, is that why I felt as though I knew what thatwas about, what the rock was about, why I stopped at those particular places?
Seth… Because you were drawn to it.
Arthur… (Whispered.) It was wonderful.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: When one chooses to change themselves or others learn to do it by giving and taking in a proper manner. There is an expression you must give with a full heart and be generous. Yet you must also take with a full heart and be generous. In doing so you will find that your needs have been rewarded and your wants diminished. Let us move forward in this New Year with reckless abandon. We shall each stride to become the perfection that we all desire. I bid you all a very fond good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have you all with me again. Some housekeeping that we shall attempt to cover. Isabella feel free to ask questions.
Isabella… I am not asking a thing! Nothing!
Seth… You will never ask another question again. Is that what I am hearing?
Isabella… No but I am only asking in a private session.
Seth… So, in other words I can never expect you during a regular session to ever ask a question again? Be careful of what you say.
Isabella… No, just not on the early-stage level. (Frank is chuckling in the background.)
Seth… So therefore, you wouldn’t mind of course since you are not going to begin to type sessions.
Isabella… Would you like me to type the session?
Seth… I have no preference one way or another. You can start with session one hundred.
Isabella… No, no, I need a break. (Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Then you do mind.
Isabella… I don’t want to have to keep having this banter back and forth because someone is going to have to type this. (Group laughter.)
Seth… Well, I just simply asked a question and you have not given me an answer. Do you want to type more sessions? Yes, or no?
Isabella… Um… you know that is a trick question. (Some group giggling.) It is because I don’t want to do it because of the tedious nature of it but that’s not my excuse. It was my fault because I left it for the last minute, and you know…
Seth… So therefore, you don’t mind if you did it properly.
Isabella… If I did it properly…
Seth… We will keep that in mind. Let’s move along. To our friend Frank, how is typing going?
Frank… (Big breath.) I have a lot of things, Seth.
Seth… By the next time we meet that session had better be done otherwise I shall assign you four.
Frank… (Somebody grunted.) We’re not meeting for three weeks, that’s not a problem. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… I know. (Group laughter.)
Frank… I’ll have it done by then, no problem.
Isabella… Three weeks goes fast, Frank.
Frank… That’s not the issue; believe me I’ll have it done.
Seth… We will be glad to see that finished and done with there.
Frank… Will you yell at Jerry for not finishing the other ones that I have typed that he hasn’t handed out?
Seth… Certainly, Jerry! Finish typing them! (Laughter.) Does that make you feel better?
Frank… Kind of.
Isabella… Can you find somebody else to do all the typing…
Frank… Ooh.
Isabella… besides Frank and I?
Seth… I assign what I believe that is necessary and that someone will get something out of it. And that session that you recently typed up if you listened to the ideas and the expressions that were there given you would have understood why I asked you to type up that session because that session was for you basically. (Note, Frank is typing all of the un-typed sessions on Change before Stephanie began transcribing beginning with Session 395 on February 10th, 2009. Doing so is assisting me in absorbing and understanding the material on a much deeper level and while this was always understood there is also a greater appreciation for the activity of typing. F.N.)
That being stated on our larger subject of Change we shall continue along. One of the ideas that one must learn to understand is the idea of questioning self and you must always understand that those who do not question themselves fall short in terms of their ability to comprehend, to make progress and to find the most profitable avenues that one can. As children you were taught acceptance of adult ideas and methods for obtaining any stated set of goals. When a child incorporates this behavior into themselves one tends to accept authority without question. It should be noted that accepting anything without question is indeed foolhardy. Therefore, the question arises, change itself is mandatory for success on the physical plane. Yet how does one change if one has been taught to accept and expect the powers that be to provide the “information” that you require? When an individual becomes dissatisfied, ill at ease if you will with the nature of things, then of course change although frightening becomes necessary. One must learn and certainly teach that the requirement for success is a questioning mind! Remember it is not what the question is but the ability to question that gives all those who inhabit the physical plane the ability to progress in any line of study. Far too many individuals have been taught that their questions are foolish, they are not important. To these individuals I state, how can learning occur when it is obvious that you do not understand?
One of the great benefits of our little round table discussions much to Isabella’s dismay is the ability to ask and receive information that you desire! A good argument is necessary at times for learning. Period. The challenges are necessary for without them you cannot learn. There are many who would state, I would like an easier life, look at them but why not me? My answer to them is clear; one must learn to break away from the usual. That which is routine, that which is common, that which is easy for most serves no useful purpose. One needs a challenge routinely so that their intellectual and creative abilities have and should be stimulated, first by self and then of course by others. So, let us ask a question, we shall go around if you will. What have you done recently to break away from the usual? And I believe some effort will be necessary from each of you to be able to answer that question properly and my statement is this if you have done nothing state it. Are you continuing in your same old way? Do we have a volunteer?
Isabella… I’ll volunteer.
Seth… And you may pass it along or if Betty wants to come in at any time she may.
Isabella… I actually feel I’ve done a few things out of the um, to break away from the usual for me. I’m trying very hard to live within the community and as per our private session that we had recently, I’ve been bringing in the newspaper every day for my parents.
Seth… Let me ask you a question. That is certainly breaking away from your usual routine. Now be fair to self, how much effort do you really put into bringing in the newspaper? Where one would be very easy and ten would be immensely difficult?
Isabella… Um, well… it’s not…
Seth… It’s not a trick question.
Isabella… No, no, no, it’s not that it’s hard to bring in the newspaper, it’s just out of the ordinary for me to do it.
Seth… So now that you have done it let’s say for one or two or three or four or how many days you’ve done it for…
Isabella… How difficult?
Seth… How difficult is it?
Isabella… It’s not difficult.
Seth… So, you would say it’s a one?
Isabella… Ah yeah, a one or a two.
Seth… What type of pleasure does that give you as an individual…
Isabella… At a one or a two?
Seth… No, no, the fact that you, did it?
Isabella… Tremendous.
Seth… Would you say nine and ten?
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… So, we may, and we’ll write this down, we may see clearly that for most it does not take great effort to achieve greatness. The pleasure that one gets has nothing to do with the difficulty of the task!
Isabella… I also, oh.
Seth… I believe that we shall leave it go because it may take some time for everybody else. You may ask this later.
Isabella… I didn’t have a question. I was just going to say more things.
Seth… Unnecessary, you’ve succeeded well.
Would you like to go or…
Isabella… (I believe Isabella grabbed the microphone.) I’ve been a doing tremendous amount of effort! (Group laughter.)
Seth… Would you like to go although you do not have to Mary? (Mary is Frank’s sister.)
Mary… Um no, I’ll go. One of the major changes that I’ve done this year is that I started school. (Mary began school to become a massage therapist.) It was a big change for me and a…
Seth… So, what possessed you to attempt a major life altering decision?
Mary… Well, I have been doing hair for twenty something years and I decided I wanted a change. And I honestly feel that…
Seth… Your life became mundane, was routine.
Mary… Well somewhat. I don’t know. (Frank and Mary laughed.)
Seth… Then if you do not know why you did something the question must arise why did you do it?
Mary… Oh, because I honestly believe that I have an ability to heal.
Seth… Whether you have an ability to heal or not matters not. We are not talking about what you hope to accomplish we are talking about why you decided to do anything that was different, go back to school, not stay where you were. Remember doing let’s say someone’s hair and making them feel beautiful from the inside out is the same healing that you will have in terms of physically making them feel better by a massage. The beauty that one radiates from internally is just as important as the physical comfort you will give someone. You understand?
Mary… Em hmm.
Seth… So, the question falls back on to where it was. Why did you decide to go ahead and make the change?
Mary… Um, well I had in mind that I wanted to do it before my mother got sick.
Seth… Why?
Mary… Because I wanted to just do something different and…
Seth… Why? (Mary giggles a bit and may not be sure how to answer.)
Aren’t you sorry you said I would speak? (Everyone laughs.)
Mary… Well, honestly because I… I honestly believe that I could help people.
Seth… But you are helping people routinely in other fashions. Because as I stated earlier. People decide to do something that is life altering when they are unsatisfied with what they have been doing previously. And that is an important thing to write down.
Mary… Okay.
Seth… People, individuals decide to make life altering changes when they become unsatisfied on their current path.
Mary… Okay.
Isabella… Can people also make life altering changes out of fear?
Seth… Certainly, that is not usually as profitable but certainly.
Isabella… Like in Jacob’s case, obviously that was a life altering decision for him to leave.
Seth… I knew where this was going.
Isabella… So, (Laughs.) so it obviously wasn’t his… that’s not as profitable as…
Seth… Doing anything out of fear is never profitable.
Our friend Frank?
Frank… I’m not sure how much this is really “breaking away” but I think that meeting with Jerry and trying to deal with like difficulties with anger is somewhat of a shift. And…
Seth… Somewhat!?
Frank… Well…
Seth… Let me ask you a question…
Frank… What do you mean, the last seven years? (Laughs.)
Seth… Is this not one of the most difficult problems you have?
Frank… Yes, it is.
Seth… Is this not one that has plagued you?
Frank… Yes, it is.
Seth… Please explain to me how this is not life altering? The first step…
Frank… It has not been successful yet.
Seth… How do you know?
Frank… I don’t believe it’s been successful yet. I think there are some beginning changes, but I don’t… I don’t have proof that it is successful yet.
Seth… What proof do you need other than the fact that you have done it?
Frank… I need to see that I can stand up for self in different situations and that it’s, that it is not a problem for me.
Seth… And if I tell you that you have started to stand up for yourself?
Frank… I…
Seth… And that is all you need is the first step.
Frank… I believe that I have…
Seth… And I believe if you would get out of the forest and look at the sunshine with this issue, you’ll be far better off.
Frank… Okay.
Jasmine… I would say similarly that in my work with Stephanie I have become aware of many issues that were you know life affecting and I am presently working on making changes to those areas. But the awareness um has… the awareness of so many things has really helped.
Seth… Write this down, please. When individuals become aware that the changes that they are attempting are starting to take root the idea of change becomes less frightening. It is the questioning of self that allows you to review that which you are learning. You draw into yourself that which you require and discard that which is at that point of reference worthless to you.
Would you like to continue Jasmine?
Jasmine… No.
Shanna… Um, the first thing I thought of was that I just had to come out of my comfort zone. Recently last week when I had to teach a new class, you know that I was not comfortable teaching with initially, and I had to put a lot of effort into it and I just kind of forced myself to I don’t know, take a leap of faith in myself. So that was unusual for me.
Seth… That is of course, is the second point that we have dealt with. You are breaking away from the usual. So, when you come out from yourself, you can write this down. When one comes out from themselves their normal routine must be changed since it is impossible to continue on the same path if the routine is now different. If the routine is different, then of course you must be different.
More or less?
Shanna… I’ll tell you later because my question is in reference to this but…
Seth… Go ahead.
Shanna… In dealing with something out of the ordinary or the unusual, off the routine path could it also be something like not… doing like a habitual behavior pattern in a relationship?
Seth… Of course, that is one of the more difficult things to deal with.
Shanna… But what so… so if I did something out of the usual for me in my relationship with my husband but yet it was so not a profitable situation? (Laughs.)
Seth… Why does everything and you write this down. Why does everything that anyone does have to be profitable?
Shanna… Why does everything?
Jasmine… Anybody anything.
Seth… Do you believe that anything that everyone does has to be profitable?
Shanna… No, it doesn’t. I guess just because of the…
Seth… Let me finish.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… The answer is quite simple. Without failure one cannot learn to appreciate success. And the more difficult portion of this is simple, you may have been correct and the other may have been incorrect…
Stephanie… And that’s why it wasn’t profitable.
Seth… That’s why it wasn’t profitable. Does that help?
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Um…
Seth… Don’t worry Betty, I have not forgotten you.
Stephanie… One can say that I have taken the hugest leaps of my life, (Laughs.) in the past two months I would say. Out of the box would definitely be the idea of confronting my father with my entire life (Laughs.) and how he has treated me. And the other would definitely be stepping out of my beauty jail… that my father helped to create.
Seth… And again, I ask you the same questions that I ask Isabella. How hard was it for you to step out, we will ask the first one, the beauty jail?
Stephanie… Immensely.
Seth… And you are not out yet.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Moving along. How in comparing and contrasting with the beauty jail how hard was it for you to face up to your father’s inadequacies if you will?
Stephanie… Immensely.
Seth… You believe so, please explain why?
Stephanie… Because I was taught as a daughter, a child that one doesn’t do that to their parents and stand up for themselves and promote themselves over and above parents’ views and…
Seth… One does never question adult authority I believe I started with this, this evening.
Stephanie… Yes, you did. So…
Seth… How true is that statement now?
Stephanie… Not true at all.
Seth… And it should never have been true, and it should never be taught. One cannot work under, write this down. One should not have the erroneous belief that children should not ask. Now I am not stating here that individuals should not tell a young child, do not run into the street because there is a car coming. Nonsense. Of course, you do not allow someone who does not have the ability to make a rationale decision to injure themselves. For the most part children must always be encouraged to question. And our last and third point this evening one must learn to be honest with the questions you ask and how you interpret the answers that you receive.
Let us move to Betty. Betty?
Betty… Oh, yes.
Seth… You’re on.
Betty… I’m on. I have moved out of state, packed up a life and…
Seth… That was awhile ago, what have you done recently?
Betty… Recently? Um, probably from that starting to stand up for myself and probably most recently that’s been pushed to the point of fighting for myself.
Seth… How are you fighting for yourself?
Betty… I am actually taking… I’m about to write up a grievance on my lawyer.
Seth… And?
Betty… And probably on the work front in terms of what I am choosing to handle, turning patients away that I feel put me at risk for liability.
Seth… Honesty therefore becomes mandatory if one chooses to perceive change correctly. How can any individual choose a lie over the truth? Individuals do this out of fear and the refusal to look at their inadequacies and the delusions that they promote to themselves as well as to others. If one breaks away from the usual one tends to ask themselves questions that are honest. When one keeps to a strict routine, when one has behaviors that are repeatable, that occur again and again and again then one has great difficulty in terms of being honest, first to self and then of course to others. Ask questions. Do not accept the status quo. Change what must be changed knowing full well that fear will be your companion. But limit fear by knowing that in the larger sense of all ONE CANNOT FAIL!
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:21)
Seth… Are there any questions?
Isabella… I actually have one about chocolate. (Group laughter.)
Seth… A plethora.
Isabella… I’m really starting to get the hang of creating for self thing. At least I’m really working. Really consciously working on it and I’m just…
Seth… How’s “The Secret” going?
Isabella… I did read.
Seth… And when have you spoken with the man through whom I speak?
Isabella… We have not had time yet. But I have reminded him numerous times that I wanted to sit down and talk to him, so it is his fault not mine.
Seth… I disagree.
Isabella… Of course, you would.
Seth… Why would I disagree?
Isabella… Because you always disagree with me.
Seth… No. Because whose responsibility is it to get the work done…
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… his or yours?
Isabella… No, it’s mine.
Seth… Therefore, Seth one…
Isabella… Isabella none.
Seth… Zero.
Isabella… Okay. So, I’m interested in the experience that I have with the soda machine today was an example of creating?
Seth… Obviously. Next question.
Isabella… Okay. Um, and also in terms of aid is that also part of creating, of bringing what is necessary?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Okay. And…
Frank… Well, you’re working right through these!
Isabella… Fast. (Some giggling.) I wrote down some things. In terms of giving, being selfish can (Laughs.) you shed some light on that subject for me?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Why?
Seth… Whose responsibility is it to understand a statement?
Isabella… But I’m having difficulty understanding it, so I wanted to…
Seth… And how many people have others and the man through whom…
Isabella… Multiple! I have spoken to my father and Stephanie.
Seth… And how have they done so far?
Isabella… Very well.
Seth… Then continue on speaking with them.
Shanna… I don’t understand.
Isabella… I wanted to know how being giving was also being selfish. Yeah, when I can finally understand that is when I am done with this line of study?
Seth… No, but you will be well on your way to, and you will certainly…
Isabella… With the community that’s what you were saying. When I can finally understand that then the community piece will be… over.
Seth… No, I did not say (Isabella laughs.) over.
Isabella… Will be working towards. Um in reality to my children in school being very, very low functioning and weak, I’m wondering if there is… if you have any advice as to how I can better assist them to be successful.
Seth… One must learn to challenge.
Isabella… I do… I do though. I push them.
Seth… I guess it was not necessary for me to speak.
Isabella… No but I push them to the maximum of their potential…
Seth… That’s the problem. In terms of being a profitable teacher one must always understand that pushing an individual often serves no useful purpose. Let me tell you the story and it is a very simple one of the ideas of pushing an individual. Let us assume that you have information or the fact that you know you are correct and that in your opinion you believe that this other individual would profit from your knowledge shall we say. Yet that individual is hampered by an individual inability to comprehend or at least to deal with the information that you choose to present. Now a good teacher at that point takes a step backward and asks very simple questions. The teacher who is not good turns to ask and ram down the throat…
Stephanie… Are you using this example again?
Seth… When it fits, I use it, (Seth is referring to an example when Stephanie was insistent with information with a patient. Stephanie is grumbling good-naturedly.) and then rams down knowledge down the throat of another individual not only cannot listen but will not listen and will not assist the teacher in their efforts in terms of they walk away.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… In your case the student cannot walk away but effectively does by closing off. So, your object is to prevent the closing off or walking away in other instances so that you may approach them on a more simplistic level. You give to that student that which you already know they can do and then you increase the difficulty or the complexity if you will on a moment-to-moment basis.
Isabella… And that is pretty much what I am doing however they are required by New York State to pass an exam that… and it’s not just my classes it’s this sixth grade as a whole is very low functioning. It’s the cohort of kids which obviously they… this has been prearranged they decided on this before they incarnated. Um, I don’t know what purpose, why it is but supposedly this is the weakest grade that’s ever come through our school district. And so, I can’t, I have to not teach the way that I have been teaching in the best because they’re just not capable of acquiring the knowledge in the same way. So, I have changed a lot and I really do slow everything down and present it to them very differently, but they are responsible for taking this exam and I am having a lot of difficulty preparing them for it.
Seth… Then what you will start doing is you will start notifying the parents…
Isabella… Em.
Seth… of this. That you are going to be sending home a good deal of extra work and extra help so that these type of students as well it will benefit the entire class of course, will start doing at home in addition to whatever work you’re doing that they may be ready for a state exam since so many individual students require additional work on a topic or a subject.
Isabella… And why in particular is this group so weak? What is this arrangement?
Seth… The answer is because they are.
Isabella… So, they didn’t pre-choose this before they incarnated?
Seth… It is not a question of pre-choosing; each individual soul is an individual soul onto itself.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And therefore, because they are an individual soul onto themselves, they tend to fall into categories where it’s easy to say this is a very weak situation. But within that system itself are individuals who are very intelligent.
Isabella… There are but not…
Seth… Not enough to counterbalance I understand.
Isabella… Not at the same capacity that other years have had. It’s very, it’s very strange.
Seth… Remember the best way I can describe this to you is that the idea of a pendulum swinging. On one side you may get a whole grade that is very, very advanced and of course counterbalance that you will have areas where in certain years the grade is very poor.
Isabella… Okay, now just one last thing in regards to coming out of your comfort zone and kind of doing the unusual. Obviously, I’m recognizing that my old pattern of falling into the situation in a relationship and giving up other aspects of my life and I am just curious as to when I decided to talk to Shanna about not doing that and utilizing her help, would that be stepping out of the usual.
Seth… Of course, and it is also forces Shanna to step out from her usual comfort zone because she tends not to confront individuals who have bothered her.
Isabella… So that was good for both of us?
Seth… I believe I just said that. (Group laughter.)
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Shanna… Yeah, I have a question. Okay, I’m trying really hard to wrap my mind around this whole change thing in reference to my relationship with Philip. So, when in the beginning you said that when one has been taught to and expect things and that’s why it’s difficult for some people to change because the authority has always been there. Now that I relate to but in Philip’s case, I feel like his view won’t change because he’s always like there is no point in it. He was never really taught to accept and expect…
Seth… How many individuals were really taught to change is the question.
Shanna… None, but I’m just trying to understand where his viewpoint comes from.
Seth… His viewpoint comes to keep the status quo out of fear.
Shanna… Right, okay so… (Long pause.) is that why I see Philip as seeing change as negative because he’s scared?
Seth… Most individuals see change as negative. Remember change and its companion at times fear…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… become devastating to individuals because they have become so use to a routine that any difference in that routine becomes frightening.
Shanna… Right but how do I help him see the other side of that?
Seth… Well, first of all one sees the other side by first of all, seeing what others do, going ahead and having an open line of communication is vastly important. Without that communication one to the other one tends never to choose the change especially when it is a couples’ difficulty. Since it is easier to accept the status quo in this or any instance and when one accepts the status quo, why should they change? She’s satisfied. I don’t have to worry. Yet if you keep a line of communication no matter how difficult it is and say this is not satisfactory, this is not profitable, this is not the way I would like to have my creativity patterns to be used. I would like to advance here, I would like a better home, I would like a house, I would like children.
Shanna… Well, that’s pretty much like you know what has happened recently is that I have expressed to him what you just said about how important I view change and where I want the change to go and how I want to… How certain things are not satisfactory, or they will not be satisfactory but he’s so uncomfortable so I don’t know where that leaves like…
Seth… Because someone is uncomfortable, what difference does it make?
Shanna… What I should have said…
Seth… Let me ask you a question.
Shanna… that, I should have really said that he is so comfortable.
Seth… No, he is uncomfortable with change.
Shanna… With change but he’s still comfortable where he is that he doesn’t want to change.
Seth… Because no one challenges him.
Shanna… Right, but now that I am starting to challenge him…
Seth… He becomes angry.
Shanna… Yeah.
Seth… And therefore, your tendency because you do not like to confront, you do not do arguments well, you tend to be shy, you tend, need I go on?
Shanna… No but sometimes it’s ah, you know…
Seth… I’m not saying you do not fight. (Shanna laughs.) I’m saying what your personality is.
Shanna… You know what it is? (Laughs.) It’s that the difficulty with Philip is that if I even attempt to fight with him on any subject matter he does not come out of his own orbit at any point.
Seth… Is that not a learned experience? Is that not the routine?
Shanna… Yeah!
Seth… Now therefore you have two choices. You do go to therapy.
Isabella… Well, that’s what we are doing.
Seth… And therefore, you fight it out there with a neutral third party.
Shanna… But he wouldn’t come with me last week.
Seth… What does that tell you?
Shanna… That he’s scared.
Seth… And what does that tell you long range if he refuses to go?
Shanna… Well, long range it’s… things tell me that it’s okay because he’s come back to therapy.
Seth… That’s not what I asked you. (Shanna laughs.) Please answer my question and not one you would like to make up.
Shanna… Well, no, only because he has major fears to deal with.
Seth… That is not what I asked.
Shanna… Then I don’t understand what you’re asking right now.
Seth… I asked you if he constantly refuses to go what long-range conclusions can you draw. Just because he came back once…
Shanna… Well, he didn’t go back yet.
Seth… Assuming that he does.
Shanna… Uh huh.
Seth… What long range conclusions if this behavior…
Shanna… That he doesn’t want to change.
Seth… And where will that leave you?
Shanna… Either having to accept it or not.
Seth… And do you choose to accept it?
Shanna… I may.
Seth… And if you choose to accept it why go back?
Shanna… To therapy?
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… I have to hope that things will change.
Seth… Praying and hope is want, and all you will get is praying and hope.
Shanna… So then why go back to therapy?
Seth… That’s what I asked you.
Shanna… Because things need to change.
Seth… Ah, then therefore you are unwilling to accept him as he is.
Shanna… Well, that’s what he says.
Seth… Is that something that is wrong?
Shanna… No.
Seth… A woman who is beaten by her husband because he doesn’t like the way she cooked dinner…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… Is that an acceptable behavior?
Shanna… No.
Seth… Therefore, he must change if the behavior is to become acceptable. If things that you disagree with him about…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… And we will assume for this purpose or this statement that you are correct.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… If he refuses to change then you are acting and you agree with this, you are acting as the woman who has just been beaten by not making a good dinner.
Shanna… Right but what’s wrong with me having faith in him changing in the future?
Seth… One, that is not the subject that is under discussion, I will tend to tell you we are not speculating…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… about what will be. I have made a simple statement to you that if he refuses to change where does that leave you and you have made a statement that you believe that things need to change because you are dissatisfied, remember the beginning portion my lecture with the status quo. If you accept the status quo you do not need to go into therapy and you may leave him be as he is in this lifetime and the next and the next and the next.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… If you believe that status quo must change, whose responsibility is it?
Shanna… Mine.
Seth… Where would you like to go from here? Other than you said that need for change is apparent to you…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… You cannot accept the status quo and therefore if he does not change you are not willing to accept it.
Shanna… Right. So where is it like the time on that?
Seth… Why does there have to be a time?
Isabella… You’ll know.
Shanna… But that’s what I mean like…
Seth… Why does there have to be any mention in this room ever of time?
Shanna… So… I mean there’s, there’s no harm in me having patience with him needing to change.
Seth… Absolutely not and I encourage the patience, do I not have patience with you?
Shanna… Yes, now you do. (Laughs.)
Seth… I always do.
Shanna… Because I just, I just see it as him having such a fear to look within and to look even remotely at himself.
Seth… And whose job is it to help and assist?
Shanna… Help him?
Seth… Yes.
Shanna… Mine. Well, that’s what I am saying like that’s for me to be patient and say okay he’s going to come back to therapy and…
Seth… And I asked you a simple question, what happens if he doesn’t.
Shanna… Then I have to make a decision.
Seth… Yes, you do.
Shanna… Yeah.
Seth… Which is fearful for you because tht would cause change.
Shanna… Yeah, I mean it is and it isn’t fearful for me right now because I am still at the patient part.
Seth… We are not talking about that, and I applaud…
Isabella… You don’t even want to look at it, Shanna.
Seth… I don’t believe she asked you the question and when you turn about (Isabella laughs.) five to six billion years you have a right to make a statement. (Group is giggling.)
Isabella… I can tell her.
Seth… Not helpful.
Do you understand?
Shanna… Yeah.
Seth… I agree and applaud the idea of patience. I encourage patience. I encourage you to examine that which you are not satisfied with not that what our friend Frank would do (Shanna giggles.) but I encourage you to examine this and in doing so you will get a clearer indication of what for you and you alone will be able to tolerate or not.
Shanna… Right and I am settled at a high tolerance level right now.
Seth… There is nothing wrong with that.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… It wouldn’t matter if you said I have a very low tolerance.
Shanna… No, but that is where I am right now and if I was at a very low tolerance, I think I would be more fearful of…
Seth… No, not necessarily. Do not confuse the two. No.
Shanna… No.
Seth… No.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… Did I assist in this matter, make matters far worse?
Shanna… No. (Laughs.)
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Betty… I have, well it seems like we are going around the table like some of the comments were that I am bouncing off I guess is the portion that follows me regarding the honesty, something that I particularly have to look at or is this more generalized?
Seth… Yes, in terms of your being more honest with yourself it is one of your great difficulties.
Betty… (Pause.) Could you say more about that?
Seth… One of the difficulties is when one wavers in their ideas and when one constantly reverts back to old behaviors if you will…
Betty… Okay.
Seth… Did I finish enough? (Frank giggles.) I believe I did, is there anything else Betty?
Betty… No.
Frank… I was, I understand what you said before, but I still wish to ask this question: in terms of anger and creative explosions and in terms of myself but then also like helping others as patients sometimes there doesn’t seem to be enough powder or things are mixed such that you don’t have enough to create the explosion if you will.
Seth… Whose difficulty, is it?
Frank… It would be….
Seth… Who are you describing right now?
Frank… Me!
Seth… Right.
Frank… Right.
Seth… And you don’t know when enough is enough.
Frank… No, I don’t.
Seth… And that’s one of the things where you will deal with the man through whom I speak to find out what enough is enough. (At this time Frank was meeting with Jerry on a regular basis working on a number of issues such as confrontation and anger.)
Frank… Okay, so just leave it at that at this point?
Seth… Yes.
Betty… That brings out something that occurs in general.
Seth… So that is, that is for most individuals a great difficulty, Betty.
Betty… That’s exactly where I am at.
Seth… I know.
Betty… When is enough enough?
Seth… That’s why I asked you the questions that I did. Are you finished, Betty?
Betty… I’ll listen, yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: If on never questions themselves one keeps to their old routines, one is not honest then most assuredly your needs will fall by the wayside, you’ll be left wanting, your existence will be without profit and change becomes impossible. Do you see where this would help George?
Inner Turmoil and Establishing Inner Peace, Change Part and You Change the Whole
November 27, 2007
8:20 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here again. A little bit of housekeeping that we shall engage in. Isabella?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… How is the typing coming?
Isabella… Ummmmm…
Seth… That’s what I thought. And how many more weeks do you now have?
Isabella… That would be two weeks.
Seth… I believe you should make a sincere effort to do this.
Isabella… I did, I just wrote myself a big note, it says type session.
Seth… Now, next Isabella as long as we are on you, how is the reading coming with “The Secret”?
Isabella… It’s not.
Seth… I believe you should go back to it because I bel… I know from my research it would be immensely helpful to you.
Isabella… I will when I actually have a minute to breathe.
Seth… Are you breathing now?
Isabella… Am I sitting at the session?
Seth… You’re still breathing. Jasmine, how is the book coming with you?
Jasmine… I haven’t, I forgot about it.
Seth… I believe that it is also important for you to get back to that area. Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Yes?
Seth… We now have another long book for you…
Stephanie… Can’t wait.
Seth … to undertake. I believe the author is an excellent one. (Frank begins laughing.) You will find challenging and that of course is “The Nature of Personal Reality”.
Frank… (Said in a whisper.) That is a great book!
Stephanie… (Also said in a whisper.) He’s torturing me. (Muffled laughs.)
Seth… Oh, good I was going to give (Stephanie giggling.) you a long time. We’ll now shorten that to six months. Any other comments?
Isabella… Six months?
Seth… I’m lucky if she gets it done in three years. (Stephanie laughing.)
Isabella… That’s like a long time.
Stephanie… Didn’t I attempt to read this already?
Seth… No.
Stephanie… What did I read…
Isabella… Can I have six months?
Seth… No.
Stephanie… Oh, I read “Seth Speaks”. (People are talking at the same time.) I thought that was tough.
Isabella… Why?
Seth… Because the information there is so vital to you…
Frank… It’s better.
Stephanie… What?
Frank… “The Nature of Personal Reality” is better.
Seth… that you’re harming yourself by not attempting to do this and… (Isabella was grumbling, there was chatter and Isabella is giggling.) That being stated we know that our friend Frank who has attempting to erase most of what he typed so we can leave that alone.
Frank… Everything that you were talking about not to do, the Isabella talk all over again…
Isabella… Great.
Frank… After last week when I didn’t ask a question. (Frank laughs.)
Isabella… Shanna did.
Frank… Okay.
Jasmine… You were typing up a session?
Frank… A different session. (This is a bit convoluted, but I believe Frank was typing a section of a session that then got erased.)
Seth… Let us start, under our topic of Change: The physical plane is obviously a challenging, for many a disturbing area that one should use to allow themselves the opportunities for growth and development of the self. You are presented on a daily basis with disturbing and oft times frightening bits of information. One has tendencies to involve themselves in areas that cause difficulty for themselves or others. Far too often one makes a choice… (A phone rang and there was a long pause with chit chat.) We shall continue: One makes a choice either to accept others’ informational bits or to reject them.
The question arises if you reject that which has been offered to you, are you indeed promoting self in a fair and just manner? Same may be said from the opposite standpoint. One of the more interesting difficulties here is the inner turmoil that souls have when they routinely accept or reject either standpoint. Conflicts arise, first within the self and then with the others that surrounds that particular individual. What each individual must seek to establish is inner peace. Period.
It is obvious that the conflict can only be resolved by allowing a mixture of acceptance and rejection of information that is presented to our individual soul. It is this dichotomy if you will of acceptance or rejection that causes difficulties. One must never exclude or accept as a routine. Although a simple sounding statement the facts of acceptance or rejection become obvious to others first and then to the individual self. For most it is exceptionally difficult to find inner peace knowing that there are some who approve and others who reject your individual viewpoints. Commonly one must obtain a large variety of information from various honorable sources so that one may carefully weigh and measure the information that is necessary for effective change to take place. That which appears profitable at one point of reference is quite often misinterpreted and delusional when viewed from a different point of reference. Therefore, one must make peace with themselves.
Give us a moment, (At this point Seth researches and Jerry’s head goes back and forth as if reading extremely fast.) peace itself may be likened to winter, the icy winds, the blanket of snow covers up the ground, individuals tend to stay inside, contemplation often occurs during this season. Reflection on summer’s glorious days becomes necessary to achieve balance within and without. That which you are during winter gives one the opportunity to allow the embers of change to slowly grow. The bulbs of spring’s coming are not quiet. They learn from the coldness that slows them down and as the first rays of the spring’s summer events if you will cause increasing prosperity to our flowers. So, they must review.
Winter is a time for reflection and contemplation of that which you have been dissatisfied with or contented with. For in reality there is no difference. Information that you think is not profitable often is. The peaceful warmth of a fire, the view of a snowy landscape, the comforting meal all will give you inner peace. Growth is achieved by change.
Remember you are what you are. One may say that you sow what you reap, or do you reap what you have sown; all depends on your viewpoint. Life itself requires a painstaking dedication to understanding that which you experience as necessary for your ultimate success. Of course, one may have difficulty. Mistakes are always necessary for your growth and development. How one chooses to gather their harvest depends upon your own flexibility. Is it necessary to gather what is unpleasant? The answer should be obvious. Each of you have a responsibility to learn to say no. That is just as profitable as learning to say yes.
Change itself is necessary on a day-to-day basis. If your viewpoints are always the same my question to you is what have you learned? Freedom of choice, free will become necessary if inner peace is to be achieved. The question arises: how do you know or understand, if you will, if you are too dependent on others? And the answer is quite simple; if you cannot make a decision by yourself, you are too dependent.
This does not mean that the others who surround you and their opinions are not important. Quite commonly our individual, like our friend Frank gets lost within the forest and does not see his way out. Therefore, the others who surround him would be remiss if they did not offer an opinion.
Now the conflict arises. What does one do especially if you have a situation when you feel lost or neglected when the answers are scarce since you have not studied for this examination? Use your resources, use eyes that do not see, use ears that do not hear, meditate, open yourself up to yourself so that you may feel the warmth that the universe provides even when the cold winds that torture an individual blow around you.
Peace and prosperity are yours. You attract what you choose to attract and discard that which is not profitable. Each of you must be aware that your perceptions are created by you. If you do not enjoy, if something is distasteful who has responsibility for the bitter aftertaste of those situations? Who suffers? Those are the type of questions that one must seek in order to find inner peace even when you are content and are enjoying the meal that you have so carefully prepared.
When your crops are flourishing, the harvest will be prosperous. One must never forget that winter is coming. Change is inevitable. Do you choose to make it better, more prosperous, more effective or do you choose to become stagnant and eventually accept the mediocre which will fall away into despair and unhappiness? Inner peace is something that each of you must strive for on a day-to-day moment-to-moment basis. Challenges are many. The mountain is difficult to climb. The road is froth with danger. Yet each of you have surmounted obstacles that you cannot and at this point of reference fathom.
Isabella… Each of us have what?
Seth… Surmounted obstacles that at this point of reference you cannot fathom. Do not drown your worries and certainly do not take on the difficulties of others. The conflict that is there must be viewed as an opportunity for self assessment and growth. Inner peace is what you strive to attain. By constant change you will be able to focus your energies.
Jasmine… Constant change by? (The material was repeated by group members so that Jasmine could write it down.) By constant change, then what?
Stephanie… you will be able to focus…
Seth… the vast resources of the universe to assist you in finding your way where heretofore you will have felt lost and abandoned. Choose prosperity even if it is the more difficult road. Choose self over others but use the others in an effective manner even if they displease you.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue: Isabella, you may feel free to stop me with this question, but I believe it will be of great significance for you to look at this in terms of the recent discussions here at the table. Do you remember an incident when you were in high school with your former boyfriend?
Isabella… A specific incident?
Seth… One may consider…
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… from your point of view as unfavorable.
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Do you not view that incident in a vastly different manner…
Isabella… Now.
Seth… then now? Has your past then changed? Because you’re on a different path now so that your viewpoints of then to now are completely different. Now I am not saying that you would not be upset, you would not be bothered, you would not be frustrated but in the largest of all possible ideas that which you create now because that is where your point of power is, write this down: That which you create now is different, write this down, is different from that which you created then.
Isabella… Of significant difference?
Seth… The entire incident is different. You cannot change a part without changing the whole. Write that down too.
Isabella… That which you create now is different from that…
Seth… which you created then.
Jasmine… In the past, can you say in the past?
Seth… Use my words they’re much more effective.
Jasmine… Created then?
Seth… Then.
Frank… You cannot change a part without changing a whole.
Seth… You cannot change a part of anything without change affecting the whole. Therefore, your greatest point of power is now and you use your strength to change the direction that you seek to move towards.
Stephanie… You use your strength to change the direction that you seek to move towards.
Seth… If you are doing things effectively, obviously. Is that a specific enough idea for you to grasp change in terms of past present and futuristic ideas?
Isabella… Yes, because the incident that occurred then doesn’t nearly affect me as negatively as the one… you know what I mean?
Seth… Obviously, there is no question about this.
Isabella… No obviously that one, that specific incident …
Seth… Has changed.
Isabella… lost value.
Seth… Yes, the value, the weight…
Isabella… The weight of it, I mean.
Seth… The weight is not anymore and that is the reason when you are on a different path, you’ve had to have changed your past because you could not be on the same path as you were.
Isabella… Right, no that’s… I get it.
Seth… The same may be true and said of another incident in terms of not getting your tenure. How important is that incident at this point of reference as compared to that point of reference?
Isabella… It’s not.
Seth… It becomes insignificant, does it not?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And in fact, the longer and further out you go the more insignificant it becomes to a point where one can say, it didn’t matter.
Isabella… Now, would that be the same thing with all incidences, I mean…
Seth… Depending upon…
Isabella… like with the divorce, let’s just say. You see but I feel that, that incident is like gone already.
Seth… That incident has, are you asking a question?
Isabella… Sure, I’m asking a question. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… That incident has not been properly examined and it has not been properly examined because there is far too great a weight that surrounds you with this incident. There are many ramifications of that incident itself. It has many tentacles if you will.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… So that the idea is I may be fine with this point here but the other nine hundred are not fine. I am using this as an example of an idea. Your existence, I do not mean you…
Isabella… Yeah, but you… you…
Seth… in general. Your, let me finish please, your existence here is not, not you, is not a simple classification of incidences. One incident that you create leads to another which has an effect on an incident over here which affected your past and your present. One incident over here affects your viewpoint of how you relate to others, how you see others, how you deal with others. So, when I state to you clearly and I do that this incident has not been carefully enough researched on your part my answer must stand as fact.
Isabella… But what about, what about the, we, you and I have discussed many facets of that…
Seth… We certainly have.
Isabella… And the loss pieces and how it is not really a loss and all that sort of thing.
Seth… Those are a small portion.
Isabella… What else am I missing?
Seth… I cannot tell you. I cannot tell you because that would take away your free-will and because it would take away your free-will the choice of examining them or not for that matter is of course and should always be up to you.
Isabella… And will be.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes.
Frank… The weight of any incident or group of incidents is detected by the use of feelings?
Seth… Most likely not. Feelings are just an emotion that may be positive or negative, they just are. The weight of something is the value and the importance that one receives from it. Value fulfillment, you understand this concept?
Frank… Yes, Seth.
Seth… So, the weight here is determined by the value fulfillment of the idea.
Frank… One of the things that Isabella is dealing with is the concept of denying at different points the weight of something.
Seth… Perfectly legitimate for her, that is her choice. One must defend the idea that I refuse to look at something. One must accept the idea that I choose to believe and it’s not, I am not talking about Isabella now, this is in generalized statement that is vital, and you may all write this down for all of you. One must look at the idea and defend the principle of not looking at things or if one chooses to believe what they choose to believe. That does not make it correct, it does not make it incorrect. It is at that point of reference that I choose not to create that which is necessary for me or not necessary for me.
Frank… That’s because without that there would be no free-will?
Seth… I can camouflage it, so I don’t have to look at it now.
Frank… That’s because of an exercise of free-will?
Seth… (Isabella began to say something.) I’m not talking about you.
Isabella… You said, Isabella’s in denial.
Seth… And what did I say?
Isabella… You said no but I am curious…
Seth… I said that I am not specifically talking about you.
Isabella… No, I know but he said that you know Isabella is in denial…
Frank… Just as an example, I mean I didn’t say that specifically. (Frank continued to explain which is not clear on the tape but ended with.) I’ll use myself. (Isabella giggled.) The idea of the loss of my parents and now being time to…
Seth… Have you grieved, have you grieved properly? And if not, why not? And if so, why so?
Frank… That’s an open question. I would probably say no.
Seth… And therefore, let us assume that your assessment of the idea is factual then the question is what is preventing you from looking at those incidents in a profitable manner and the answer is because I choose not to because it is painful, difficult, upsetting, all these things I can camouflage over by not. In other words, you are studying here something that is a remnant of something past. What you are not! And the things that you pick up from previous incarnations, previous lines of study all have to do with something you are not in this instance.
Jasmine… Not looking.
Seth… Or refusal to. That does not make it incorrect.
Jasmine… But won’t it impede growth?
Seth… You cannot fail! If you do not get it in this lifetime, you will get it in the next. For example, Jasmine, one may then ask a simple question of you. How profitable is it for you to enmesh yourself in other’s plays?
Jasmine… Not at all.
Seth… Then please explain to me why you still do this as a routine and the answer is because I have no way to control myself. Therefore, I cover up what I am and pick up what someone else is; for it is easier for me because that is what I was taught. I was taught this over lifetimes. So, until you decide not to be taught over lifetimes and you learn to place yourself squarely at center where your greatest point of power is then of course you will then say well that’s an interesting line of study I don’t choose to look at it or play with it. I do not have to accept that idea. I may feel badly about what you are doing. I may be concerned for you, but I am not going to become that. I’m going to say; interesting let’s move on. Do you understand? It is what you are creating at that instant. That is why in dealing with the idea of “The Secret” for you and of course you (Isabella) becomes vitally important. Do you understand?
Jasmine… Em.
Frank… So, does it matter whether to determine if something is heavily valued?
Seth… Of course. You automatically know whether something has an intrinsic value or weight if you will.
Frank… How?
Seth… By your ideas on the subject line in question.
Frank… By being curious?
Seth… No, by having it constantly there with you.
Frank… If it bothers you?
Seth… No, you may enjoy it and it may be just as detrimental…
Frank… If you enjoy it.
Seth… as not.
Frank… You just feel the weight?
Seth… It’s not weight, you become, you’re aware. A good example here, give us a moment. (Jerry’s head move back and forth while Seth researches.) For example, when Jasmine has something that is bothering her it will disturb her periods of rest. She will wake up with it. It becomes a weighty issue for her. The same may be said for you. One should not overanalyze this, you understand intrinsically and by the you I do not mean any specific individual, I just specifically mean everyone.
Frank… I’m trying to work out the balance between the idea of denying or refusing to look at something and when one decides okay… now.
Seth… When one wants to.
Frank… I just think…
Seth… For example, I gave Kaetorina information today. It was invaluable to her. The question arises, why didn’t you tell me this before? How come I didn’t think of it? The answer is quite simple because you didn’t. Would she use the information? I don’t know and it does not concern me. Will it be profitable for her if she does? Of course. Will it be profitable for her if she doesn’t? Of course. The only one who can make those decisions is of course Kaetorina. But the information itself is presented. Now one may ask do you feel foolish about it? Do you feel upset by it? Are you happy by it? However, one would choose to define that as long as the information is there. You may choose to accept or reject, partially accept, partially reject. I am just a simple teacher and I give you information and you may choose to do with it as you choose to do with it. Use the information to create or not. It matters not. So, if you make a mistake then I have done a wonderful thing for you, I’ve allowed it.
Frank… How volitional is something like denial? It doesn’t feel volitional, but I have a sense that it is.
Shanna… I don’t know what you mean by “volitional”.
Frank… Choice.
Seth… Your choices are your choices. If you choose not to see what others see, if you choose to believe that you are correct, and they are wrong so be it. Even if you are incorrect, it matters not. Who suffers if you make an error?
Frank… Well, possibly me, possibly…
Seth… No one! Because the truth of the matter really is it doesn’t matter. Learning is learning. Whether the answer is positive or negative, but one must always be open to learning. It is the camouflaging and the refusal to listen that is the detriment. That is the problem in and of itself.
Frank… Isn’t denial a refusal to listen?
Seth… Absolutely not. Denial is not taking information that is presented to you in a way tht could be beneficial, I don’t want to do that. Don’t see it that way. You are wrong.
Jasmine… That’s the rejection you were talking about earlier.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… You’ve listened to it, but you’ve chosen to reject it.
Seth… You may choose to reject it and I give you great praise if you do. I also give you great praise if you don’t, for it matters not.
Jasmine… Well, I don’t agree with that.
Seth… Please show me how I am wrong.
Jasmine… I don’t agree with that.
Seth… I understand that. Please show me how I’m wrong.
Jasmine… Well for me.
Frank… Is that refusal or denial? (Light laughter.)
Jasmine… I just feel if you are… what I say? (Group loud laughter.)
Seth… I believe Seth one, Jasmine zero. (A lot of group conversation.)
Jasmine… You said it doesn’t matter whether you word it or not.
Seth… Correct, it does not.
Jasmine… And I said I disagree.
Seth… Whether you use it or not either for that matter.
Jasmine… Yeah, I disagree.
Seth… Show me how I am wrong.
Jasmine… Because I would rather learn it.
Seth… Oh, you want to learn something?
Jasmine… So that’s a want?
Seth… Of course, that’s what you’re talking about.
Jasmine… No, I would, not want; I would rather invest in a change.
Seth… Then please show me how you do this routinely.
Jasmine… I don’t necessarily do it.
Seth… Therefore…
Jasmine… That’s the thing I don’t agree with what you’re saying that it doesn’t matter.
Seth… It of course does not matter.
Jasmine… I’m saying to you that I know that I don’t do it and to me it does matter because it keeps me in an unhappy place.
Seth… But who is choosing to stay there?
Jasmine… I’m choosing it.
Seth… Then therefore it didn’t matter.
Jasmine… Therefore, it matters.
Seth… No, it does not matter.
Jasmine… Does matter… in the long run.
Seth… The reason that it does not matter Jasmine, is because you cannot learn. When a scientist creates an experiment is a positive answer just as valid as a negative answer?
Jasmine… In scientific experiments, yes.
Seth… What are you but an experiment of self who is here to learn? What are you here to do?
Jasmine… To learn.
Seth… To experience.
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… Well, is it not just as profitable to experience something that is positive as well as to experience something that is negative?
Jasmine… Possibly.
Frank… But she’s saying, it’s not enjoyable and therefore since its not enjoyable that’s what…
Seth… I would have rather that she would come to that conclusion herself.
Jasmine… I would eventually come to that. That’s the whole crux of it. Who wants to suffer over and over and over?
Isabella… Stephanie does. (Laughter.)
Seth… What is the most sought after positions on the physical plane?
Jasmine… You know what, they can have it. (Group conversation.) I don’t want that position.
Seth… You have taken many of them…
Jasmine… Yeah, well…
Seth… and you will still from my research will take many more; for those give you the greatest opportunity of learning.
Isabella… Yay! I’m not taking any of them.
Frank… Could you…
Isabella… I’m not, right?
Seth… You will take many.
Isabella… No, I will not. That is my biggest fear. (Group conversation and laughter.)
Stephanie… I’ll be your Social Worker.
Seth… Or crippled or handicapped in any way.
Isabella… No, being handicapped I could deal with fine, it’s the mentally ill that I can’t handle.
Frank… You don’t know that.
Isabella… No, I’m serious.
Seth… I understand that therefore what can I guarantee you?
Isabella… There you go. I’m not taking it. I’m taking a respite on the next lifetime. (Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Who says it has to be in the next lifetime?
Isabella… I’m telling you right now I’m taking a respite.
Jasmine… Isabella, can we be on the same cloud? (Group laughter.)
Frank… Refusal, the concept of refusal?
Seth… The concept of refusal.
Frank… Could you explain how that’s different from denial?
Seth… When one has information…
Jasmine… I know that.
Seth… Go ahead.
Jasmine… Well, a person can refuse to change; you know they just can’t make the change. They refuse to make the change but…
Isabella… Not that they can’t, they don’t want to.
Seth… Yes, so they’re refusing to.
Isabella… Right.
Jasmine… Because they don’t want to.
Isabella… You can always change.
Jasmine… But they are not in denial of the fact that they need to. I know that…
Isabella… It’s refusal when you know.
Jasmine… I know I need to make changes! I’m not looking at it and saying you’re absolutely wrong, that’s not the case, that’s totally untrue, that’s denial.
Frank… But so there could be an admixture of those things, no?
Isabella… Yes.
Jasmine… I know for sure that I’m making mistakes. I just can’t do anything about it.
Frank… Like Stephanie…
Seth… Can’t or won’t.
Jasmine… Won’t.
Seth… That’s correct.
Stephanie… And then that’s connected to the readiness factor?
Seth… Of course.
Frank… Right.
Stephanie… And that’s why you say that those are the things that are valuable because it brings you to readiness?
Seth… Never get there unless you try.
Isabella… Can you help me with my lost jewelry?
Seth… No (Stephanie laughs.) and let me explain why.
Isabella… Heart broken.
Seth… I understand that. That which you do not know, that which is missing or hidden from you would be a violation of free-will.
Isabella… What!?
Seth… Let me explain it in this way. Who lost the articles in question? If you lost the articles in question who should be responsible for finding them?
Isabella… I’ve been looking.
Seth… I understand and you will continue to look until you find them. (Isabella takes a heavy breath.) Remember if I give you a lack of free-will in one area would that not give you a lack of free will in all?
Isabella… It’s not a lack of free-will.
Seth… Of course, it is.
Isabella… How is that lack of free-will?
Seth… Because you are the one who is responsible for your actions or inactions.
Isabella… Fine.
Seth… Glad to see that you’re so happy with that.
Isabella… Well, I am very upset about this.
Seth… I believe that you are. I have no problem with that.
Frank… You’re just a simple teacher.
Seth… Difficult but simple
Frank… I’m just a country doctor, (Said with a rural accent. Stephanie laughs.)
Isabella… On a country road.
Arthur… That leads back to the same place.
Seth… And have you really left?
Isabella… Yes, I’ve left many places.
Jasmine… Well, if nothing changed along the way, yeah.
Seth… Have you started?
Are there any other questions?
Shanna… I have a question. Okay it’s unrelated but my family is like all wondering this and wanted me to come to you with this question is as you know my niece already, you know who she is, (Shanna laughs.) the one who sees spirits. We’re wondering if, is it possible that she is the same soul as my Great Nana?
Seth… No.
Shanna… No. So, anything like that we’ve seen or heard is, are coincidences?
Seth… Not because of coincidence but it’s… she’s an individual onto herself. Your Great Grandmother is not reincarnated at this point.
Shanna… Okay. And then the other question I have for you is regarding one of my students that I am having difficulty with that I could use some help with.
Seth… What difficulty are you having?
Shanna… Um, the difficulty I am having is that my student is having some difficultly with adhering to classroom rules and routines.
Seth… Look at the home environment.
Shanna… Okay but this is what the difficulty I have and there are issues going on. The difficulty that I’m having, there are moments with the boy that I can’t tell if he’s manipulating me.
Seth… Of course, he is.
Shanna… So, if I think he is manipulating me am I best to ignore his behaviors? Or am I…
Seth… Challenge never ignore; because if you ignore the behavior is then re-stimulated to give you more of the same.
Shanna… Right but when I challenge him on his behavior it sometimes, I’m ignored by him.
Seth… Of course.
Shanna… So then…
Seth… What is he doing with his parental supervision at home? He ignores it.
Shanna… He’s ignoring them, right so…
Seth… He is using what he learned.
Shanna… So, at that point when he’s ignoring me…
Seth… You can ask questions.
Shanna… But I’m not even getting a response.
Seth… Then it is your responsibility as a teacher to take him aside or put him aside and say until you can answer my questions you stay here.
Shanna… Okay and that’s what I have done. So, I have to continue to do that?
Seth… Correct because that will break the cycle of ignoring.
Shanna… Right because I expect an answer.
Seth… You expect an answer.
Shanna… Okay. (Isabella said something that was not clear about the child.)
Oh no he is fully enthralled about that.
Seth… Of course, it gives him attention.
Shanna… He also pees in his pants like three times a day.
Stephanie… Oh great.
Seth… That is anger.
Shanna… Yeah, he is doing it on purpose. I know.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Ah, can you just comment on how when one is not at center how does one try to get square at center, when they keep placing themselves off?
Seth… Write this down. When one is ill at ease one is of course aware. One creates from any various areas but what is not profitable is the creations that occur in combination with others that do not suit your purposes.
Isabella… Creates from any various areas but what is not profitable?
Jasmine… Are the creations that are in combination?
Stephanie… That occur in combination…
Seth… with others…
Stephanie… with others that do not suit your purposes.
Seth… that do not suit your purposes. A simple example of this may be seen with the idea that when one enmeshes themselves if you will or puts themselves in another’s shoes you are off center. Your sense of judgment is questionable. You feel immediately uncomfortable because you cannot adjust what you create adequately. For in most cases, it is not your play.
Isabella… So, you know George today was having an awful day at work in regards to having some political issues and then he had tremendous anxiety issues which interestingly enough are very similar to what I had been experiencing at school two years ago and again the same with the anxiety piece and he actually mentioned similar illnesses that I’ve had such as the brain tumor and all sorts of stuff. But I, even though I am trying not to, but I can understand where he is coming from because I’ve been there and I’ve had almost the exact same situation just in two different settings, him in the hospital and myself at school. I’m not trying to put myself in his play, but I can understand where he is coming from.
Seth… I can understand somebody who breaks an arm and has pain.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, can you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But that does not mean I want to break my arm and have pain.
Isabella… No and I don’t want to take on his problems.
Seth… Can you fix it?
Isabella… No, I can’t fix it.
Seth… Then…
Isabella… I’ve provided the outlet he needs to fix it and it’s whether or not he chooses to do it.
Seth… That is his problem.
Isabella… No, I understand that.
Seth… It is also for him in a much larger sense a social adjustment issue.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… In terms of his inability, if you will, to relate since he has difficulty in adjusting himself and feeling profitable about himself. So, he has difficulty in relating himself to others and it is easier for him to look at the negative of anything than it is to accept what he does not enjoy as compared to what he would like to enjoy. You understand?
Isabella… To accept what he does not enjoy…
Seth… It is far easier for an individual who does not like themselves who is not content with himself to accept what he does not like since that is where his point of reference is, I do not!
Isabella… So, but what is he accepting?
Seth… He accepts that, it is easier to accept that which he does not enjoy meaning, I don’t like this hospital, I don’t like this place of business, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do that, this over here would be great but I know I am not going to get that and I will not get that. He creates from the negative instead of from the positive so he accepts that which it is not as compared to that which it should be.
Isabella… Uh huh. Okay but that is very similar to what I was doing until I had had enough.
Seth… Correct and then you didn’t, and your past changed.
Isabella… So then… And my past changed. So now can I use that information? Can I give him that information?
Seth… Can you give him what your information is or what I just said?
Isabella… Well, why wouldn’t, well you were the one who gave me the original information.
Seth… And who is that pertaining to?
Isabella… Me but isn’t it, isn’t it similar?
Seth… Similar is not exact.
Shanna… You were still creating from the negative…
Seth… You may give him…
Isabella… Yeah, I was creating from the negative.
Seth… You may give him what I just said.
Isabella… Right about not creating from the negative and creating from the positive.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Accepting, and is it about accepting what is not?
Seth… It is about accepting himself.
Isabella… Okay. So, it’s just accepting what is.
Seth… He has… no. It is much more than that. It is complicated.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… This individual soul…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… does not like himself. He is confused, he is bothered, he is upset. That is evident, that you have no problem with that, do you?
Isabella… No.
Seth… And since he cannot do this at this point of reference then it is not your responsibility to attempt to change his viewpoints.
Isabella… I’m not trying; I’m not attempting to change his viewpoints. I know I can’t.
Seth… The only thing you must do is give him information.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… And the information that you give must be tailored to a specific set of ideas. You understand?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Therefore, what I stated is very clear…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… pertaining to exactly George.
Isabella… Okay so not coming, so that he should try to not come from negative.
Seth… No, he must change himself. He must attempt to change his viewpoint of self. And until he is capable of doing this…
Isabella… He’s never going to be happy.
Seth… Nothing will make him content.
Isabella… Right, I mean even if he got the surgical residency, it’s not going to make him happy.
Seth… Even if he won a hundred-million-dollar lotto.
Isabella… Right but I know that, and I have said that already, I know and I’ve said that to him.
Seth… So, what question do you have?
Isabella… Ah, I didn’t have a question I was just curious about the similarities and if I could, if there was a way, I could be of assistance by sharing my circumstance.
Seth… No and in fact that may make him feel worse.
Isabella… Why.
Seth… Did you overcome them?
Isabella… Yes, but wouldn’t that be hopeful?
Seth… No. It is because when somebody is mired down in unhappiness…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Seeing someone who is successfully completed it makes them angry jealous and bothered.
Isabella… Okay… I see that.
Seth… For a great many people, it is the rare individual who says I can do better.
Isabella… Right, right.
Seth… He is not one of them.
Isabella… I see.
Seth… Are there…
Isabella… I asked him flat out if my speech helped him and he said, no.
Shanna… What speech?
Isabella… When I was on the phone with him.
Seth… Something I researched.
Isabella… I said, you know I was giving him, I said the same exact thing happened to me and I had issues with political problems and…
Seth… Again, you are coming from a positive perspective. He doesn’t own that yet.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Jasmine… And you asked if what you said to him helped?
Isabella… I said, did you know if my speech helped right now and he said, not right now.
Seth… The answer was no.
Isabella… Right. I mean I can understand that if you are not ready to hear anything then you can’t hear it.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Matthew… Ah yes, I mean ah, me and Shanna had spoken…
Seth… Shanna and I.
Matthew… Shanna and I, I don’t care. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Did I do that well enough for you? (Group talking at the same time.)
Isabella… Done very well.
Matthew… I’m just a simple teacher.
Seth… That was done for you.
Isabella… I know. (Isabella is a 7th grade English teacher.)
Frank… He teaches grammar. (Frank laughs.)
Isabella… The English thing for me is like family.
Matthew… I know, I teach Special Ed so… (Stephanie roars, Frank joins in and then the rest of the group laughs.) They don’t notice as much, not as much as you guys but ah… (It has been interesting to note when transcribing how difficult it is for Seth students to verbalize clear sentences and thoughts while Seth’s communications are not only clear but many layered. F.N.)
Frank… You teach the special slots! (Referring to Seth’s comments that those lives that are difficult such as those with disabilities or mental illness are sought after slots by souls since the learning involved is increased.)
Matthew… I do. Shanna and I have spoken about that notion of a spirit family.
Isabella… Soul family.
Matthew… Soul family, I’m sorry, soul family. I was wondering what is the connection that exists between you and your soul family? What is the…
Seth… Soul families change over points of reference. Soul families are a group of individuals…
Matthew… Right.
Seth… who are first created at a specific point of reference. But that is a generally a very large number of souls.
Matthew… Okay.
Seth… But what you mean by soul family are a small group of individual souls who happen at any given point of reference to be interested in similar ideas and similar lines of study.
Matthew… Okay. So, does that change?
Seth… Of course. When you become disinterested…
Matthew… Right.
Seth… you will move from soul family A to B to C to D to one to a hundred and fifty, it doesn’t matter how you name them. But you will change.
Jasmine… In different incarnations though, right?
Seth… No.
Jasmine… Within the same incarnation?
Seth… No, over different areas of lines of study, for example, you are learning how to no longer absorb negative energy. You’re learning how to discard them, in a simplistic manner.
Jasmine… You bet I am! (Stephanie laughs.)
Stephanie… Love that.
Seth… Now, when you are no longer interested in that line of study…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… you’ll change your soul family.
Jasmine… Here! On the physical plane?
Seth… No.
Jasmine… Up there.
Stephanie… Yes.
Isabella… Before you… come back.
Jasmine… Come back, (Said at the same time as Isabella.)
Seth… No, you will change actually like changing a classroom in a school.
Isabella… Yeah, no, I understand that, before you come back. You go into a different classroom to learn.
Seth… It is not, it is not necessarily coming back or not coming back.
Shanna… It’s the group that you are traveling with.
Isabella… Yeah, I understand that totally.
Jasmine… But don’t you incarnate with your soul family since you, because you are studying the same thing?
Frank… No.
Isabella… Not all at the same time.
Seth… Not necessarily, very commonly you do not.
Shanna… But if they are not ready to reincarnate then they’re… (Not clear but something to the effect of souls continue their studies.)
Jasmine… I forgot about that.
Shanna… Don’t you think, I mean I don’t want to interject what I think. When I was talking and having a conversation with Matt and I was just saying that how when I read, “Journey of Souls” it really cleared me up on all these kind of things, would that benefit Matt maybe?
Seth… Not at this point he has too many beginning books to read.
Stephanie… So, you don’t have to wait for the end of a grand cycle to change your soul family?
Seth… You have already had hundreds of different soul families at your point of existence.
Shanna… It’s like fluid, ever changing.
Stephanie… Okay.
Isabella… Then why would we have been in numerous lifetimes together?
Seth… What does the word numerous mean to you?
Isabella… Hundreds, thousands.
Seth… No, numerous means that there have been a number of lifetimes that you have had with other individuals.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… That is not all of them. There are members of your soul family that you have discarded if you will and have not been together with them as a soul family in numerous lifetimes because your lines of study have departed from theirs.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Stephanie… But you’re no longer than part of that soul family.
Seth… No, you’ve moved away.
Stephanie… Yeah right, okay.
Seth… But that doesn’t mean that you still do not recognize them. You may have an affinity towards someone that you see, and you do not know why and they’re completely different from you but you have an affinity towards them because you once were a member of their soul family or they yours.
Isabella… Okay so now like when we go back, when we pass over and we see each other all up there we might decide that we don’t want to all come back again? Or we might decide…
Seth… For example, let us assume that there are now a few people sitting around this table, let us assume two individuals decide that they are no longer interested in this type of a relationship they will change their soul family.
Shanna… But the others will remain.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Others may also come.
Shanna… Right. Or go somewhere else, right?
Seth… It is that simple.
Isabella… You two are leaving. (Laughing.)
Shanna… Out of here. (Laughing.)
Stephanie… We are not.
Matthew… So, there is no constant, plural that as far as soul family… there is no continuity, are you always going to move in and out?
Seth… The only ones that who you have a greater tendency to be with are souls of your own soul age group, those who in which you were created with.
Matthew… But that’s the only plural that…
Seth… That mass if you will, of souls will all move at approximately the same rates.
Shanna… And by age you don’t mean how many times you’ve reincarnated…
Seth… No.
Shanna… it means how far along you are in the spiritual world.
Isabella… Now we are all similar soul ages… oh, we’re not?
Seth… Would you say you’re all mature souls?
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But what happens for example if you have two who are on mature soul age level three, step four. Others may be on mature soul age seven, step seven. That is vastly different.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… Their viewpoints are different. They will tend to look at things differently. They will tend to be more alike than dis-alike.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Because they have put most of the ideas of relationship issues behind them if you will.
Are there any other questions there?
No Frank, I will not tell you where you are.
Frank… You’ve already told me where I was.
Seth… Good, where are you?
Frank… I could look back, I don’t recall. I think I’m… seven (mature soul age), (level) seven, (steps) three or five. It doesn’t matter.
Seth… No of course not. (Stephanie laughs as Seth’s tone indicated that Frank does care about this sort of thing.)
Isabella… Three and a half two minus six.
Stephanie… Alright, you still didn’t answer, alright so once you’re here and you’re uncomfortable because you are enmeshed so in concrete terms, how would one get themselves to square center?
Seth… When you are uncomfortable with an idea or feeling, a sense of what you are…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… one then is instinctively aware of what they are doing and why they are uncomfortable.
Stephanie… But why can they not send themselves back to center?
Seth… They choose not to. Remember, the experiment of experience is as valuable with negative answers and outcomes as it is with positive ones.
Stephanie… But would you say that the person truly doesn’t go back to center because they are not ready to go back yet? They’re still choosing not to.
Seth… The choice in creativity… they are still enjoying…
Stephanie… They enjoy being off center.
Seth… No, they are enjoying what they are doing.
Stephanie… Alright well in this case it’s off center.
Seth… Acceptable but a poor choice but go ahead.
Stephanie… Alright but their physical plane self will state, I am uncomfortable, I don’t like this but still stay.
Seth… Correct, until they decide not to.
Stephanie… Okay.
Frank… Isn’t this also why meditation is helpful because at least in that moment one is attempting to move to center?
Seth… Of course, it causes you to refocus your energies and to gather in from the universe that which you require.
Stephanie… Right so and if one doesn’t do that let’s say one might have to have as many distasteful moments of being off center as possible to get them to choose the other.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… But in terms of the pieces, he just said if you recognize that you’re in somebody else’s play and not your own and you don’t like it you can get out of their play.
Jasmine… That’s easier said than done.
Stephanie… If you choose to truly, do it, right. It’s not easy. If you invest… you know people can be invested in being off centered.
Seth… It is the camouflage system that is here at work. If I don’t show that I care, if I don’t show that I love you, if I do not show that I can help you…
Jasmine… Is that the key.
Seth… then I am not a good person.
Jasmine… If loved was viewed… if enmeshment was viewed as love, that’s what was taught.
Seth… Of course, it was.
Jasmine… Then that was what I was taught.
Frank… Right but there are other lessons too. If you remember that you were taught that to truly…
Seth… Let me finish with this then I shall stick around. (At this point the tape ran out, this was a rare occurrence perhaps the first time that this occurred. Rare because Seth is usually aware somehow that the tape would need to be flipped. The following is from written notes F.N.)
The idea here of inner peace allows change to occur and when change occurs your needs are met, wanting decreases. Contemplate winter as the precursor to spring, summer and autumn. I bid you all a fond good evening.
(Sunday February 25, 2018. While Jerry and I were editing this session, Seth came through with this addendum. I did ask Seth why he didn’t include this the first time back around in 2007 and he replied, a familiar phrase, “You weren’t ready.” Apparently, the reader is ready as this material is together in one place and can be read over and over again. F.N.)
Important facets here, the concept of the establishment of the whole if you will. Far too many individuals choose to believe and act in a segmented mother or father portion, single or married portion, work and play portion of the entire self. Each individual should always be considering the whole; when you fragment yourself, you are in a void, lose power, dragged off center! To truly understand the whole, you must always attempt to view yourself as a whole entity. If you are having difficulty with let us say your job, your abilities to function in the other portions of your existence becomes more difficult. When one is not content or is unhappy the whole suffers even if that unhappiness is infinitesimally small portion of the whole. It is necessary for all individuals to re-center themselves so that they may view their incarnation existence as the whole. Individuals who step away from their incarnation in various destructive manners such as suicide must repeat even the most profitable lessons that they have learned due to the fact that the difficult lessons, the ones that cause tragedy, severe unhappiness, depression are just as important as those that produced great happiness. I have routinely stated that you cannot have up without down or right without left. It is true that difficult times and hardships occur for everyone. It is the intelligent individual who understands this and looks to the future to find the correct path for salvation. Simply put, when the difficult times end the whole individual has changed and a new dawn will arise!
Understanding Change Over Time Using the Concepts of The Country Road, The Spindle, The Super Pencil in the Box Surrounded by Mirrors
Tuesday November 20, 2007
8:30 p.m.
Seth… Good evening.
Frank… Good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have you all with me again this evening. I believe that we will come back to our topic of Change, and we will deal with an idea that I would like to present. I dealt with a small portion of this earlier today and we are going to deal with the idea here of change over time. Now, it should be quite obvious to most that as linear plane time is understood one of course must expect change. Certainly, age changes you, your ideas change, the way in which you may perceive and create that which you are certainly changes. But none of this is relevant to the idea that change over time is a common difficulty that most who inhabit the physical plane suffer from. I have stated in the past if you were to leave your home on a beautiful morning and proceed along a country road, morning turns to early afternoon to late afternoon to evening when you would finally return home. And the question that arises is if the next morning occurs in actuality, one must ask did you ever truly leave? All paths are evident in our journey. Yet change over time is easily understood by the perceptions of our country road. When one understands the fact that linear time meaning the way you perceive it on the physical plane and universal time are in a sense competing with you for your perceptions! (The idea of “The Country Road” was channeled to Jerry in the very first Seth Session. It was and is a way to understand that time does not really exist in the way we usually think. Seth explains that time and events are all simultaneous in what he calls “The Ever Expanding Now.” Seth prefers to use the idea of reference points to describe time as in this change occurred from this reference point to that reference point.)
Frank… For your perceptions?
Seth… For your perceptions!
Arthur… Universal time meaning the real time?
Seth… Correct. Now, since you exist, since you exist in The Ever Expanding Now (“The Ever Expanding Now” is a concept where whatever you and others get from experiencing incarnations or studies from higher realms expands the knowledge for every soul for what you would consider the universe. There are many facets and inner dimensions to the universe at this point that you do not know that they exist. This was directly communicated by Seth.) and at whatever level you are on in our Vertical Spindle one may then detach a page view it, study it, if necessary, form a line of study from that information that you have obtained. You may then compare and contrast that line of study with information from below or above you on our spindle.
(“The Vertical Spindle” is another metaphor for how we can understand our own experience of time. Our time experience can be considered as stacked days, years past and lifetimes would all be below wherever we are on the spindle. Days and years hence and future lives our experiences would be above us on the spindle. Most individuals at this point could examine their present and also their past in terms of their memories. The possible future may be glimpsed in the form of dreams, foreknowledge and intuition.)
Jasmine… Can I just ask a question?
Seth… Go ahead.
Jasmine… The spindle is time or is the spindle soul age?
Seth… Neither, the spindle is. You exist in an area of the universe that has been blocked out so that you may learn to experience that which you choose to learn. The spindle is only an example of how you relate in terms of your experiences whether they are here on the physical plane or on higher levels of ascension.
Jasmine… So, we always refer to the spindle as…
Seth… I am now adding more information into your levels of understanding.
Jasmine… So, the spindle even though it always represented the way, the correct way for us to view time now you’re saying it also is a way to evaluate or view our level of experiences based on where we are compared to where we’ve been or where we will go.
Seth… Correct. Is that not time?
Jasmine… Yeah, but it is experiences you’re comparing.
Seth… I am now adding another level and dimension into the spindle knowledge that you have.
Jasmine… But could you just let me finish and try to write something here?
Seth… Certainly, we shall pause and take a slight break.
See I didn’t cut her off, any questions there?
Matthew… I’m totally lost on the spindle.
Jasmine… The spindle is also a measure of your experiences…
Seth… You may deal with a…
Jasmine… Right, a measure of your experience?
Seth… It can be.
Jasmine… Comparing?
Seth… What you are at your present point of reference to what you had been and what you will be.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Let me divert for one small second here. If you were a child looking at a ballgame the only thing that a young child wants to know is who won and who lost. As you gather experience not only do you want to know who won and who lost but you may start becoming interested in the intricacies of the game itself. What strategy might be used? What strategy should not be used? How do you fit in? So, all these differences give you a relative grouping of experiences that you add in as you proceed along. (The idea of levels of understanding a ballgame or a baseball game is another favorite metaphor Seth has used to explain how we are interested in learning from experience to experience, from year to year, lifetime to lifetime, soul age to a more advanced soul age, even from grand cycle to grand cycle. A Grand Cycle is when we first leave The All There Is and begin to incarnate until we are finished incarnating and then finish further studies beyond incarnating until all of our questions have been asked and answered. At this point we would return to The All There Is and yet never lose our individuality. At some point we would decide to begin again thus starting a new grand cycle. At this point we would study things from a somewhat more sophisticated level. As truly majestic and wonderful beings that we are, we are never truly done creating and growing!)
Going back to our country road: when one then looks at the idea of our country road and you leave in the morning, come back in the evening and the next morning the view is still the same; so, the question is did something occur that gives you experience other than the fact that you might say, well I left and I returned? But that still does not explain the idea of changing time. Time is relative to change; change is relative to time.
Isabella… But something must have happened on the country road.
Seth… And what if nothing happened other than you drove and you came back? Did you experience anything?
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… Maybe not.
Jasmine… Well, you experienced the drive.
Seth… But that is insignificant. Just because you did something doesn’t mean the experience was worth anything and that you may… forget it very quickly.
Isabella… So, it’s the value of the experience.
Seth… Not that value of, it is what experience you gain by doing something.
Jasmine… So, when you say, did you really leave is the next morning the same, did you really leave meaning did you grow or change in any way?
Seth… Correct. So, change over time must have a relative value.
Isabella… Is that why… is that why it’s not that we can’t change, well we can change…
Seth… You can.
Isabella… continuously. But is that why it’s better to take a while to change?
Seth… No, makes absolutely no difference.
Isabella… So how come you’ve always said change doesn’t happen over night?
Seth… Because for most people they find it quite impossible to do so.
Isabella… Okay. So…
Seth… That is why.
Isabella… But you always say to me don’t expect change to happen over night.
Seth… Because I am viewing you and from my research you do not have the ego-centric knowledge that you would require to refocus that which you are and to refocus it into something you are not to make it profitable. You have to work towards that idea of change, change over time.
Isabella… So, change over time must be relevant.
Jasmine… Relative.
Isabella… Oh.
Seth… Now to complicate this even further most commonly if you are and if you will remember my idea of the super pencil, the pencil in the box surrounded by mirrors from floor to ceiling and four walls, if you are looking at yourself in terms of the eight-hundredth reflection on the right, well the eight-hundredth reflection on the left may pose a completely different viewpoint. And the experiences on the left do not have to and most commonly do not reflect anything other than that specific point of reference. (The pencil in the box of mirrors is a metaphor used here to understand how experiences and change or lines of study over time works. You are the pencil. If you are age nine and a trauma for example occurs and it is difficult for you and creates say self-esteem problems. You are now looking directly at that trauma and self-esteem problems. Now as time continues you may be older and looking at the trauma from say a 20-degree angle. This gives a different perspective, perhaps fuzzy but still in your reflective view. Still older say age at fifty you may be at a 70-degree angle and you cannot see that trauma at all as it is not in your angle of sight however the experience still affects you as you still have self-esteem problems from age nine. Change truly occurs when you decide that what was true at age nine does not have to be true any longer.)
Isabella… I feel like I don’t (understand.) (Laughs.)
Jasmine… If you are looking at yourself in terms of the eight-hundredth reflection on the right, the eight-hundredth reflection may have a completely different viewpoint.
Seth… Completely different viewpoint.
Jasmine… That’s all I was supposed to get from that, okay.
Seth… Correct. Now…
Isabella… (Giggles.) Glad you got something.
Seth… The idea here is that change over time is complicated because that which you perceive at a certain level is held onto at a different level due to the linear plane example such as the ruler, one, two, three, four or five. Do you understand that?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Do you not move in time? Eight o’clock in the morning, nine o’clock in the morning, ten o’clock…
Isabella… Linear.
Seth… that’s linear time.
Jasmine… The idea is that change over time is complicated because that which you have experienced at certain levels is held…
Seth… Is held onto. In other words, at whatever level you start a line of study, for example let’s say so you started a line of study at age nine. By the time you are age seventeen change over time has occurred. Yet your viewpoints, your experiences at nine for most individuals shape how you view that line of study at age seventeen.
Isabella… So, what happened to you at nine effects what happens to you at seventeen?
Seth… Not… It does not have to. It is your viewpoint that which you experienced at nine for many individuals may be very difficult to comprehend.
Isabella… Right, that which you experience at nine would be very difficult as opposed to what you comprehend at seventeen.
Seth… So, what you see at seventeen is as you were at nine. It’s what you hope that would be.
Isabella… But it’s not.
Seth… Most commonly it is not.
Isabella… Because as you get older your viewpoints change.
Seth… And your experiences in anything else that you do reflect back upon yourself. So, then my question then arises in our next level of our journey along the country road. Assuming that something happened on that road, and you took another path, traversed that path but yet came back to the country road meaning the ever expanding now; you still exist there and arrive back at your starting place. The question arises has your viewpoint changed…
Isabella… Yes, yes.
Seth… Has your viewpoint changed by the next morning? And the answer is no. What has changed are your experiences. You are still the identical individual you were before you left.
Isabella… Yes, but don’t your experiences change as equally?
Seth… Your experiences allow you to create differently and your viewpoint is still the same.
Shanna… The outlook.
Seth… What you do, the ending is always the same, you arrive home.
Stephanie… It doesn’t mean change has taken place.
Seth… It just means your experience has taken place. Change over time…
Isabella… I don’t know why I am having such a hard time.
Jasmine… I’m having a hard time too.
Frank… So, the soul that you are… might now be better ready to change.
Seth… We do not know. That is not relevant to this discussion. Change over time, I would suggest you listen to this lecture.
Stephanie… So let me ask this stuff, if you, you know for all the therapists in the room if we were to use the idea of how our parents shaped us and teach us what to value and what’s important and what they found important and that leaves an impression on us so if at nine we are already quote formed…
Seth… Beauty.
Stephanie… Right. Beauty for example then it doesn’t matter what my experiences are from nine to seventeen to forty-two that I will still have the same exact viewpoint regarding beauty…
Seth… Your viewpoint is limited by that which occurred at nine…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and hopefully was modified that at age forty-two you are able now to make a change over time.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Until you decide that, that which served me at nine no longer serves me at forty-two…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… no change has occurred.
Stephanie… Right, that’s what I am saying because if you are just believing still in that original premise that what I learned…
Seth… It is not a question of belief. It is a question of understanding the relevance of what went on to you at any given point of reference. A line of study starts…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… whatever that line of study is.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… It has a starting point. By definition if something starts what must happen?
Stephanie… It has to end.
Seth… It must end. And when all questions have been asked and answered that line of study ends.
Stephanie… Em hmm. (Thinking.)
Seth… That cannot occur until change over time has been taken in, processed as a creative effort that you have put into that line of study has been satisfactory to you.
Stephanie… Right, so you have to be actively working on that knowledge.
Seth… So, until you decided, and we will make this slightly personal that your father gave you very bad images of beauty because that’s how he measured self worth with women.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… So, until you decided that the idea of beauty was incorrect from whatever age you started…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… let’s assume nine and until let’s assume thirty-eight, until you decided that, that was no longer part of you, your viewpoints were still mired here in what you desired. We may also look for example with the man through whom I speak, his viewpoints of dealing with Shirley Sara were formulated and maintained the same relevance to him let us say for thirty or forty years.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… So, he left his home every morning, traveled the country road, took a side path, did other things but his viewpoint of Shirley Sara was identical.
Stephanie… Even though many things have happened in between to give other potential opportunities for learning, to change the viewpoint but it doesn’t matter.
Seth… It does not matter.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… His viewpoint will use the same age of nine.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Was still that age of nine yet his difficulty is in understanding and realizing that he is here (Seth demonstrating throughout by pointing from one point to another.) no longer here but his mental acuity is still the viewpoint of the start of the country road here so he may accept here, he may understand here, he may clearly be able to define here but yet here has not changed.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… So, until he makes a physical change, meaning the questions that have been asked and answered, he will always be here and not benefiting from his experiences.
Stephanie… Right the change is having been…
Seth… They have not become part of him who exists in The Ever Expanding Now.
Stephanie… Right, I mean isn’t that really what therapy is really supposed to do?
Seth… Well not in the way you individuals practice it but let’s leave that for a different time.
Stephanie… Okay, well aside from the, you know whatever joking around.
Seth… No, that’s not a joke, that is a statement of fact.
Stephanie… So that it’s but I am saying isn’t that what therapy how it is supposed to be helpful? The idea of all the toxic negative thoughts that you’ve incorporated, to go back and study them and bring yourself to the present to see that they’re no longer valid?
Seth… A toxic and negative thought may be the most beneficial thing that may happen to an individual.
Stephanie… Oh, because then they have understanding.
Seth… Then they have understanding so a negative…
Stephanie… But isn’t that what therapy is supposed to be? To learn that…
Jasmine… Unlocking.
Stephanie… that’s what they are?
Seth… Therapy the way in which it should be designed is to allow the patient to experience.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… That is the answer.
Frank… Right.
Stephanie… Okay so that then they can choose a different one.
Seth… You do not choose experiences. Experiences are! It is what you choose to do with the information that matters. And not what you do with the experience.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… When I tell you that a teacher is there only to provide information…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… then of course the information that the teacher provides is just that. It is what the experience becomes relevant to and how the person creates using that experience and that information determines change over time.
Stephanie… Or the opportunity for it.
Seth… Remember you are on a path of accession.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… What is your true path of accession or as I would prefer to call it your path of return? You are on a path of return just as we are in terms of returning to The All That Is.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Therefore, your experiences in The Ever Expanding Now determine what you bring to a higher level of existence.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And whatever you choose to specialize in there, whatever you choose to do is of course your way of doing things. Let me see if I can put this in another way. In too many times the idea that what you are is unhappy, gloomy, your life is filled with “one disaster after another.” It is in reality a delusion that you cause yourself.
Stephanie… Em.
(There was a long pause while individuals wrote that down and perhaps took Seth’s statement in.)
Seth… Now, if I were to ask each of you and it perhaps is an obvious question: on the physical plane what is the brightest area on the physical plane that you know of?
Shanna… The Sun.
Seth… The Sun is correct. Well in reality here one must become the Sun. Brightness, warmth, love, happiness is all part of incorporating change over time within yourself. For if you will then look at your experiences whether positive or negative with the idea that you are the Sun, the warmth and radiance that you provide to yourself allows you to experience that which you find important. Individuals who are studying similar things may understand the relevant ideas within that line of study. Other individuals who are on a completely different line of study cannot fathom in most cases what you are dealing with. So again, be the Sun. Allow yourself the luxury to bring into you the warmth and radiance of self. For it is you, for it is you who creates that which you are so that you may experience the growth of experience that you are creating. You must learn to experience that which you create.
Jasmine… The growth of experience that you are creating?
Seth… Em hmm. You must learn to experience that which you create. The question then arises: how many individuals do not truly experience that which they create?
Stephanie… Nobody.
Seth… I do not agree with you.
Stephanie… Most.
Seth… Most do not experience what they create because of the fact that they do not take responsibility for, become afraid of that which they perceive as an experience!
Stephanie… Who really doesn’t do this? I mean you are talking about… I mean okay, say everyone because obviously there is no such thing as absolute all but what kind of a person has absolutely no fear and experiences literally every single thing they create?
Seth… Your viewpoint here is far too literal.
Frank… Don’t we get snippets? Don’t all of us get snippets?
Seth… Your viewpoint here is much too literal. There are numerous situations where every individual that you have ever met, will ever meet does create and does understand what they have done. There are individuals who accept more of what they create. There are individuals who accept less of what they create. The experience in certain individuals, they will accept certain things, they will disregard certain things and the question here arises. What is an experience that is acceptable? That’s the question you are asking. The question can only be answered what is an acceptable experience by the individual who creates that experience. When for example, Isabella does not understand that her creations are incomplete or does not take full responsibility for what she says; then of course she has difficulty in dealing with others. When a student makes excuses for not working diligently with something that gives the student problems then of course they are not accepting the experience as offered. The hardest thing to deal with here in any situation is not getting what you believe you need.
Stephanie… That’s why I asked, who can really do this kind of thing consistently? Because you are talking about…
Seth… Most individuals do this to a far greater extent than you can imagine.
Stephanie… Do what, taking responsibility?
Seth… No, understanding the experience. We are not saying taking the responsibility of anything.
Stephanie… That they understand the experience?
Seth… Most people do this to a far greater extent than you can imagine.
Jasmine… Wait, most people understand the experience?
Seth… Most people will understand the experience. You may intellectually understand the experience meaning you are on the age nine-page but if you are on the age seventeen-page linear time meaning there and you accept intellectually what has gone on here does not mean that your viewpoint is still not down here. You may understand the experience; it doesn’t mean that you are dealing with it as a seventeen-year-old. Your viewpoints have been so skewed by the nine-year-old that you are not able to function here yet. So, until you make the change over time to elevate yourself to the seventeen-year-old, forty-two-year-old, fifty-eight-year-old whatever then of course change over time becomes more and more and more difficult. That is when individuals become dysfunctional or unhappy and seek a therapist.
Stephanie… When their level of discomfort becomes so great.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, in the case of my not getting tenure… um…
Seth… In the case of not getting tenure, go ahead.
Isabella… I guess the hardest thing for me to deal with was not getting what I believed I needed which was tenure.
Seth… What you understood it was, (not the) not what it was.
Isabella… Okay, but now that I’m two years out of that already obviously my viewpoint has changed, and I understand the experience.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, the experience is what I needed as opposed to getting tenure.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So, the experience of not getting tenure taught me more than had I gotten it in the first place?
Seth… You would not of allowed it.
Isabella… What do you mean I… I would not have allowed the experience. So, what I gained from that again, being humble and…
Seth… Let me ask you the simplest question I can.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… Are you happier where you are now?
Isabella… A hundred percent.
Seth… Do you have more friends?
Isabella… A hundred percent.
Seth… Are you working and increasing your friendships?
Isabella… Absolutely.
Seth… You weren’t then.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… And remember when you increase friends in one area you should not exclude friends from another for whatever the reason. That is something you should write down and memorize.
Isabella… Say again.
Seth… When you have friends in one area, one area of your existence, one should never exclude them if you happen to be on a different path. Would that put you back at a lower level?
Isabella… If you are not friends in one area…
Seth… of existence one must not exclude them if you are on different path. Do you understand?
Stephanie… What prevents most people, I guess you already said it, from not, from their perceptions being so faulty to not be able to experience and make the changes?
Seth… What prevents them?
Stephanie… Yeah, you are talking about the whole want thing and the…
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… fear and all of that?
Jasmine… What prevents them from making changes?
Stephanie… No, from not perceiving the experiences in a beneficial manner to cause the changes that are necessary.
Jasmine… Too uncomfortable.
Seth… The answer is quite simply this, if I were to give you a list of all the possible reasons for your question you would be long dead.
Stephanie… (Chuckles.) Right, okay so this is where… does this get you back to the idea that adversity is what we should seek.
Seth… No, adversity matters not, success matters not, the only thing that matters is how you perceive that which is.
Stephanie… Right but…
Seth… And what is your line of study in that bit of information.
Stephanie… Right but if our perceptions of something that is negative let’s say, we make our perceptions negative, isn’t that going to be a huge barrier to…
Seth… If a scientist creates a question and he gets a negative answer to it is that just as beneficial as getting a positive answer to it?
Stephanie… No, I understand, I’m talking about the perception of it.
Seth… No, the perception of it is used in terms of that which you perceive. When a scientist gets a negative answer, one must understand that no is just as beneficial as yes.
Stephanie… Right but what I am saying is that it’s often not perceived that way and I am saying that, that becomes a barrier to…
Seth… Not necessarily, it depends upon the individual. You cannot make a generalized statement.
Stephanie… Well, what I think what I am saying about it is that perceptions are often faulty based on whatever.
Seth… Your perceptions of sitting around this table are faulty! One thing has nothing to do with it.
Stephanie… Well, I’m trying to understand the idea that how we experience let’s say the adversity or the fact that we are not getting what we want isn’t, doesn’t that become a barrier to actually making changes?
Seth… Not at all because if you don’t get what you require on Street A, isn’t it normal that the person goes to Street B?
Stephanie… Maybe.
Shanna… Can that be a learning experience?
Seth… That’s what learning means. When you go from Street A to Street B you learn.
Isabella… So rather than it you know…
Seth… It is not a question of adversity at all. It is a question of what you are creating. How you create the movement to go from Street A to Street B is the experience you, that you require to incorporate into yourself.
Isabella… But isn’t it also how you view the experience? Like if you view it as adversity as opposed to viewing it as a learning experience?
Seth… When you have an obstacle…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… And we will end our portion here with this: whatever difficulty you have if you do not view it as a challenge and an opportunity then you are not creating well for yourself and your change over time becomes limited. If you view the obstacle as a challenge to be overcomed so that you may learn and experience, then of course you will gain and it becomes profitable.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue. Isabella, it is obvious that you having great difficulty with this lecture this evening, am I correct?
Isabella… With the second half of the beginning, I was fine.
Seth… For the most part, which is the most important part, you are, you have not done well, let’s put it to you that way. Am I correct?
Isabella… I’m beginning to understand it is not necessarily the experience that causes change, but it is when the experience is relevant and when you allow it to cause change.
Seth… Correct but I would like you to understand this fully for it will help you sincerely. Therefore, given that reason and upon my part I would like you to type up this session. Thank you.
Now that being stated… (Isabella was making a noise under her breath.) Yes, I would strongly suggest…
Isabella… Not one person asks a question tonight.
Shanna… (Said in a funny voice,) I’m sorry Isabella! (Group laughter.)
Isabella… Not one person asks a question. Nobody!
Shanna… I’m apologizing ahead of time.
Isabella… Nobody is allowed to ask questions tonight. How much time do I have for this?
Seth… How much would you like?
Isabella… Six months. (Group laughter and Isabella joins in.)
Seth… Well, if we put that in days. Let us put it this way, I believe knowing that your time schedule and restraints as they are, I believe three weeks is a fair…
Isabella… Three weeks!
Seth… Three weeks is a fair.
Isabella… That’s like nothing.
Shanna… This is a hard one.
Seth… I believe…
Isabella… Thanks Shanna. She is always with me.
Seth… I believe two weeks and six days. Would you like to continue arguing? Or can we leave it at three weeks, please? (Jasmine was talking typing and asking questions but it was hard to pick up on tape.) Would you like to type this one?
Isabella… Yes, she would. (Said in a whisper.) She does want to, she never has to type them.
Seth… That may change.
Jasmine… Oh, thanks Isabella! (Stephanie laughs and the rest of the group is talking.)
Shanna… Throwing everyone under the bus.
Isabella… No, you, I thanked graciously.
Seth… Let us… three weeks, three weeks.
Isabella… Fine!
Seth… For example, what are you doing Friday? Spend the day typing.
Shanna… Great workday to go shopping.
Isabella… Nope, typing.
Seth… Now, obviously there are great difficulties with the concept here. One question that was asked was what is the purpose of this?
Jasmine… Of what?
Stephanie… What is the purpose of this…
Frank… Of the session.
Seth… Of the session.
Isabella… Who asked that?
Seth… I cannot tell you who asked but would that person like to identify themselves? (Group laughter.). Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Thank you very much. I just need for you to make some other statements about this.
Jasmine… To pull it all together.
Stephanie… So, I understand what this is about but what…
Jasmine… So now what?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… If you choose to understand that effective change must be relevant to experience and how you create…
Jasmine… Stop. (Frank chuckles.) Effective change must be?
Seth… Relevant to experience.
Jasmine… Experience and wasn’t there more?
Group… And how you create.
Seth… and how you create then the idea of change over time becomes understandable. Every day you experience a myriad of events. Some are very relevant to you; others are insignificant and quickly forgotten. It is as if they never happen. A line of study is something that a soul embarks upon because that information is interesting to them. The soul then creates relevant experiences, the more difficult, the more prosperous the line of study becomes. When something is easy how quickly is it forgotten? Kaetorina is an example of a soul who enjoys difficulty. It is part of her inner being and therefore will allow herself the luxury of shortening most of her lines of study. Her trust line of study is an immensely difficult task. Normally souls will spend forty to eighty lifetimes studying this type of information. She certainly will not. Does that answer your question?
Stephanie… Um, yeah okay so if we go back to that country road?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… For this change over time to occur what would be, would it just be the dissatisfaction of the journey that would put you on that different road?
Seth… Your experiences must become relevant to whatever line of study you are on.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… When they become relevant, and you are not satisfied…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… You then make a subtle change, and you move to a slightly different road.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Yet you still come back to where you started from.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… But if that change wasn’t significant enough you make another subtle change and then a third and then fourth and then a fifth and then a hundredth and all these subtle changes that you are making allow difficulties and obstacles to be overcome and when you are then meaning the larger you, the pencil in the middle, the true you is satisfied with that which you are now creating and experiencing that line of study ends and you move onto something else.
Stephanie… Okay so if we use my father for example, why did it take so long up to forty-two years now…
Seth… Fear.
Stephanie… Alright. So how come if this is true what you said about Kaetorina, how come I did not bring this to my experience sooner?
Seth… Why do things have to be sooner or further?
Stephanie… No but…
Seth… Things are what they are.
Stephanie… Right but why, why wouldn’t I have brought…
Seth… Fear. I told you the answer.
Frank… Why… why couldn’t it have been longer? Why did you get to it so…
Stephanie… No, it could have been longer.
Frank… Why did you get to it so quickly?
Jasmine… For me it’s… it’s brief. (Stephanie laughs and then so do others.) Brief!
Shanna… You still came to it. You could have gone a whole lifetime and not even seen it.
Stephanie… Right but the level of dissatisfaction…
Seth… Was growing.
Stephanie… Right, was growing and so…
Seth… That’s why whenever something reaches and in physics you will understand the idea of a critical mass.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… The same is true with soul. When something reaches a critical mass…
Stephanie… Em hmm. That’s the time…
Seth… such as for example a child having a temper tantrum. That is the explosion that is seen.
Stephanie… Em hmm, em hmm.
Seth… Same thing here.
Stephanie… And it’s just you would then say also readiness? That’s when you would make a statement like that? Why did this happen? Well, you were ready.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Uh huh. So ready for it to end?
Seth… No, ready for it to be understood and experienced.
Stephanie… Oh right, ready for it to be understood. Okay and experience plus change.
Seth… Possibly.
Stephanie… Em hmm. Right, so at this point let’s say with this with my father for example, I would no longer return to who I was three weeks ago?
Seth… Have you?
Stephanie… No, I haven’t. And would you say then that would be a line of study that was over?
Seth… Is your line of study over with your father?
Stephanie… No, but what aspect of that line of study then? Do you mean being the victim of?
Seth… A line of study is what is. You can try to dissect it if you will. You can try to reshape it but it’s still a whole.
Stephanie… Right but…
Seth… When all questions have been asked and answered a line of study ends.
Stephanie… Okay, right.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right so when I no longer have negative feelings about it that’s when the study would end.
Seth… Not necessarily.
Stephanie… Oh.
Seth… You may have to work on positive feelings about something.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… It’s just the idea of studying with another; it doesn’t matter negative or positive.
Seth… Correct.
Are there any other questions?
Isabella… I have a question.
Seth… I thought you said no questions.
Isabella… I have to ask something.
Seth… We’ll give a nice long answer.
Isabella… So, I… Thank you. So, I was in court the other day and I had a Chance Encounter with a woman who was sitting next to me, and we started chatting and she started asking me what I did for a living and I told her I was teacher. And I said what did you do, and she said she was a doctor, that she was a gynecologist and like an OBGYN and she was African American, she was not dressed well, she had huge gold hoop earrings and of course I went to the whole there’s no way that she’s a doctor place. And I asked her questions about it and you know I asked where do you work? And she said oh I work at Down State, and she said I was a nurse there first and then I loved Nursing and I became a doctor and she started telling me this weird story about how she delivered twins and all this kind of stuff. And it just seemed odd. It just seemed like she didn’t know what she was talking about and I was still questioning but we were having a good time. And I was still questioning whether or not she was being honest and truthful with me. So, as I’m leaving court, I see her with her I.D. Badge out and on her I.D. Badge, it said Nurse. So, I knew she was lying to me because when she saw that I saw her I.D. Badge she quickly flipped it over and put it away. And I am just curious as to what that Chance Encounter is about?
Seth… The answer is simple. Were you the Chance Encounter, or was she?
Isabella… Oh… You know I thought that actually, that I was there for her. That she would see she that didn’t have to lie and feel badly about herself.
Seth… Correct. (Seth has explained that your life is like a play. You are the star of your own play. There are three types of players in your play besides yourself. They are Lifelong Players who provide you with a multitude of lessons on many levels. There are Seasonal Players who come into your life and teach you a lesson or two that may be somewhat one dimensional. Then there are Chance Encounters. The universe can impart a lesson or a sense of direction through any number of individuals or events. Picking up a book that imparts something to you can be a chance encounter. In the above example Isabella was a chance encounter for the woman at court. It is quite helpful to be aware of experiences that seem serendipitous. These may be chance encounters pointing you towards an important direction.)
Are there any other questions?
Shanna… I have a question. Ah, I’m just been having some like difficulty lately but pinpointing what’s causing me dis-ease. So, I was wondering if you could give me any guidance on that?
Seth… Well, let’s ask a number of poignant questions.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… Is it not true that you are concerned with money?
Shanna… Umm, yeah, to a degree.
Seth… To a degree. And because you are concerned with money that is one aspect of your dis-ease.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… Again, how is your mother doing?
Shanna… She’s okay.
Seth… Where is she?
Shanna… (Laughs.) My apartment. (Group giggles.)
Seth… A second cause of dis-ease. Do you understand and I am just going to use those two factors there for you.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… Others might be more personal than I would like to get into at this point of reference. But is it not true that even with just those two factors, do they not fill up that which at times is overwhelming to you?
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… And when you are concerned about this and about this you tend, not you as an individual the larger mass of you…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… becomes focused on those type of difficulties.
Shanna… Meaning the one’s you just mentioned?
Seth… Yes, for you as an individual…
Shanna… Right.
Seth… But and everyone and they would not of course be the same for everyone.
Shanna… Right, yes.
Seth… It just is.
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… So now since they would be relevant to you…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… You must dissect them if you will and learn to make effective changes. For example, you are probably believing that you are working your hardest to bring money into your home. You have a full-time job.
Shanna… Emm.
Seth… You have part time work.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… But if money is still an issue you have a mate.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… Perhaps you may then open a line of study and discussion about what he is doing with his life.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… And how he may be more of assistance to the family unit if you will.
Shanna… Yeah, that was done already.
Seth… So… I’m aware.
Shanna… (Laughs.) Moving on.
Seth… It’s not even a question of moving on.
Shanna… Well…
Seth… It is a simple question of all this brings dis-ease to you.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… And that is why you are having difficulty because that which you perceive at this point of reference is not comforting. And there is also a question here of the dealing with your mother and what is going to happen there.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… All this again, with the overriding factor of the family unit makes it uncomfortable for you.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… And what you can do about this is if you dissect it and work on pieces of the puzzle it is much more likely that your viewpoint of what is going on may lead you in more positive directions. Do not look at a whole, look at a part.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… And when you look at the part it is easier to handle the whole. If you had a journey of a thousand miles and had to walk it, is it easier to look at I’m going to walk five miles a day or is it easier to go ahead and say I have to walk a thousand miles?
Shanna… Right, so if I have like these stresses instead of just thinking about all of them, I should just think about one of them?
Seth… Not just think about (Shanna is giggling.) it’s in terms of having a plan of directions.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… When one is stressed, when one is bothered, one has no sense of direction.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… You feel lost, you feel overwhelmed, you feel inadequate.
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… And because you do feel overwhelmed, stressed, and inadequate the area becomes blurry and because it becomes blurry your effective way of creating is diminished.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… Does that help?
Shanna… It does but like what I was just saying is so instead of looking at everything as a whole you’re saying like dissect it.
Seth… But don’t just, if you dissect here, just don’t deal here, do here, here, here and here…
Shanna… At different times.
Seth… At different times, yes. Just don’t concentrate on one area and ignore the rest.
Shanna… So, it matters not where I begin.
Seth… No. Never does.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions? Just a slow long one please.
George… So, there are two points I have been thinking about for awhile is I have always had a lot of problems with allergies since I was a very little kid and one of the things I’m always allergic to are animals and that seems very much in contradiction to what I felt at least on some level and to some degree my life calling was which was working with animals. And is there some reason behind the obvious challenge that brings to the job that I’m facing?
Seth… No, the solution becomes simpler than you can possibly imagine. (Stephanie mumbled something and Frank laughed.)
Please say that louder.
Stephanie… Allergy shots.
Seth… That is correct, in terms of the love of one thing and the obstacle that you have with that one thing can be overcomed, and there are a myriad of ways that you may handle that obstacle. You may go ahead and choose to as Kaetorina said take an allergy shot. You may take a… Excuse me?
Isabella… Ask him.
George… I’ve been on allergy shots before.
Seth… Are you still on them?
George… No.
Seth… Why not?
George… Because they didn’t… were not effective.
Seth… Well, then maybe the idea of changing the allergist is more important than the shot itself. See you are medically oriented here. From my perspective you can just say, I’m not allergic and just move along. But from your perspective you must then go ahead and learn to effectively deal with what comforts you in terms of meaning, how you are going to allow yourself to prosper in whatever you choose to do.
George… Why does the universe manifest situations like that?
Seth… Well, the universe does not manifest anything. You manifest it. You are responsible and if you had a pen and paper, you should write this down and memorize it, you are what you create. The universe only grants you what you are asking for. It will either grant you wanting. It will fulfill your needs. When you have dis-ease which is what you have it is an inducement to remove the dis-ease. Do you understand?
George… Yes, basically, I think I do. I can go back and try a new allergist and go approach it…
Seth… Approach it again with a fresh start.
George… Approach again from a different perspective.
Seth… And there may be other different medications and there may other different danders that you are not allergic to or are allergic to that you were not before.
George… Em.
Seth… The more you challenge yourself by not the more needy you become.
There was and I shall not mention the names because you are not aware of this but there are a number of major league baseball players who are highly allergic to grass. Do I have to go on?
George… Em hmm.
Seth… So therefore, it is the ability of the individuals to create what they require that it will give them greater assistance in their own individual pursuits of happiness.
Isabella… So, could he be, could George be creating these allergies with animals as a, as an obstacle that he believes he is creating with his choice of career?
Seth… Everybody creates dis-ease as a challenge, not just him. It’s everyone.
Isabella… Em hmm. Oh, I know and M.S., AIDS do I have to go into…
Seth… We’ve cured you of many different ailments.
Isabella… Yes, I have been cured of all ailments.
Seth… Brain tumors.
Isabella… Brain tumors.
Frank… Leprosy.
Isabella… No, I never had leprosy.
Seth… That will be the next.
Isabella… No, I’ve been very good.
Seth… Are there any other questions? (Pause.) Frank?
Frank… No. (Some giggling.)
Isabella… No?
Frank… (In a sing song voice,) No questions for you, Isabella! (Laughter.) Enjoy the typing! (More laughter.)(This session was apparently typed by Isabella but could not be found and was eventually typed by Frank in November of 2012. I actually came to appreciate the typing, and the added learning by doing so. FN)
Stephanie… I just want to ask… (Laughter.)
Isabella… Stephanie!
Stephanie… It’s very quick.
Isabella… It doesn’t matter how quick it is, it’s the words that you say.
Stephanie… I know you don’t have to type this part.
Frank… Oh!
Seth… Yes, she’s required to type it.
Stephanie… You know how I, ah that I don’t allow myself to get sick. That once I see it coming on is that a country road metaphor? You know when I say I will not, is that any of what you are talking about that I am not going to participate? That’s an experience that I’m…
Seth… That’s an experience that you do not choose to participate in. I believe Shirley Sara is much more effective at that than you are.
Stephanie… Right, like her whole lifetime.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay so but the change over time is that related to any, she’s always…
Seth… For the most part yes, she has always maintained excellent health.
Stephanie… Alright so there’s not been any need for change over time at that topic.
Seth… Correct. She does not choose to participate in it.
Stephanie… Right, right, right, okay.
Seth… And your question is?
Stephanie… No there is none.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this. Change over time for most is a slow painstaking procedure that all who inhabit the physical plane must learn to deal with. When your experiences cause you to make effective changes you become the Sun, you radiate. You lose the youthful understanding that has often held you back. As you mature effective change allows you to fulfill your needs. That which you thought you wanted melts away by the radiance of your sun which is in reality you. Be faithful to yourself. Choose the path that is not easy. Overcome what you must. Bypass that which you need to and your future will be bright. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Want Verses Need and Forced Change Versus Effective Change
Tuesday November 6, 2007
8:13 p.m.
Seth… Good evening.
Group… Good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have you all here. Welcome to our newcomer. (This newcomer’s name was Matthew.) A little bit of housekeeping that we shall delve into. First of all, in terms of the person who is taking a different seat this evening. I caution both you and certainly Isabella, keep your looks, keep your talking, keep your chatter to a zero point otherwise I will have to ask for a rearrangement of seats. (Group laughter.) This is certainly not an ideal situation for either one of you. Do either one of you have a problem with that? Good I’m glad you didn’t.
That being said there. Arthur, how are you doing?
Arthur… Hanging in there.
Seth… I know by you will excuse the expression, by a hair, why?
Arthur… I go in and out of it.
Seth… In and out of what?
Arthur… Trying to deal with my responses to my sister’s situation.
Seth… Let us ask the most simple question we can. What can you do?
Arthur… Could have a whole bunch of things that I can do…
Seth… No.
Arthur… that would be of help.
Seth… It is not the question of what… Obviously, what can you do for help, assistance or anything that would be in the long term useful?
Arthur… Um, confront her with what I think is going on.
Seth… Possibly. Do you really believe she’s going to be able to listen?
Arthur… No.
Seth… So, then your answer is not effective, is it? (Arthur shook his head no.) So, what else can you do?
Arthur… Take care of me.
Seth… Take care of yourself, obviously. So, your answer is you can do nothing.
Arthur… This is what I have done most recently.
Seth… What have you done most recently?
Arthur… Sent her a coupon in kind without any possibility to use cash and bought her a two-month subscription to the YMCA so she can have a place to shower.
Seth… Again, until she will choose to help herself, how long do you choose to allow this situation to drain you? That is not said in an antagonistic manner…
Arthur… No.
Seth… You understand this?
Arthur… It’s just that I find it hard not to react simply by knowing that.
Seth… But whose situation, is it?
Arthur… Hers.
Seth… And therefore, let us assume for the sake of argument that you’re a poor therapist, what would you tell a patient?
Arthur… As a poor therapist?
Seth… As a poor therapist, ineffective.
Arthur… Get your act together.
Seth… Right and that’s the simplest thing you can say because you can do nothing. And the more, you will excuse this expression, assistance that you provide the more dependent someone becomes on you. And the more dependent someone becomes on you why do they have to do something for themselves? Let me give you a simple example here, one of the great difficulties that individuals have is the simple idea of welfare and if you look at the history of welfare throughout much of the world today, people remain on welfare for generation after generation after generation due to the fact that there is no incentive to change.
Arthur… Is there not enough incentive in the desperateness of the situation…
Seth… The desperateness of the situation…
Arthur… because of the job that I’m doing.
Seth… The desperateness in the situation is to force others to come to their aid. But the more aid that is given without your sister embarking upon a proper intervention by herself, going for help, putting herself into psychiatric care, having someone else balance her likes and dislikes out then of course all she is doing, you will excuse the expression, is feeding off others which you already know. This is not new to you and therefore the more “aid” you give what incentive is there for her to make a positive step for herself? While it is very unpleasant, hard, difficult, it brings you nothing but grief and upsettedness into your life. What does this have to do with her? The answer is nothing. You do understand? And I will cover some of this, this evening in terms of wanting and you will understand that principle when I get to it later on this evening and I believe that was where we are going. That is the end of our housekeeping session.
Jasmine… I have a question.
Seth… Yes, Isabella, excuse me, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Can you speak to us about the meaning of the term “forced change”?
Seth… Under our general topic of Change I’ve presented a question to Jasmine and to Kaetorina that the idea of forced change and I asked what does that mean to you. Now, Jasmine gave the answer about someone being mandated to change, having to be pushed into change and I accepted that. And I would like to go around the table this evening and see if you can use or define the term forced change. Betty, whenever you are ready to speak you can just chirp in at any time. (Betty is on the phone.)
Betty… Okay.
Shanna… Okay I don’t know if I believe in the idea of forced change.
Seth… I didn’t ask you whether you believe in it, I asked you what it means to you.
Shanna… Um, I don’t know. I don’t think that it exists really.
Seth… Well, if I put a gun to your head…
Shanna… Uh huh.
Seth… and I say to you, you are going to do this, or I will pull the trigger, will you do it?
Shanna… I still have the choice though.
Seth… Yes, you have a choice, but chances are you will hand over your pocketbook.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… Would you normally hand over your pocketbook with all your money and cards to a stranger? (Shanna laughs.)
Shanna… No!
Seth… So therefore, you do believe in the idea of forced change. (Laughter, particularly Isabella.) Next.
Isabella… I think forced change is when an event happens that… (Laughs.) forces you to change.
Seth… You see that is the problem with the definition.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You do not want to use the word “change” in the words “forced change”.
Isabella… I know, I teach that to my students all the time. Um…
Seth… I see it works well for you. (Group laughter.)
Isabella… The idea of force I think is when something happens in your life that… that leads you to have to change; that an event that you didn’t have control over which makes you have to change your perspective or your whole being, really.
Arthur… I guess it is when conditions make all previous responses or responses ineffective or not useful and a person has to find something different.
Betty… I would say it’s either doing something or asking another to do something when the person doesn’t want to or is not ready to do it.
Seth… Thank you.
Frank… Um, I was thinking more in terms of like the situation that Christopher Reeves had to deal with because of his accident he was quote, unquote forced to change. So, the bottom line is that there really isn’t much of a way of choice.
Jasmine… Do you want me to go again?
Seth… No, you may hand it to Matthew.
Matthew… The only thing I can come up with for forced change is really um… The only thing I really am thinking about is 9/11 when you know my stepfather was killed. That was you know pretty much change. From then forward everything changed, that was it. That was you know, that’s all I can come up with.
Stephanie… Um, partly I think about the idea when one has to look at themselves in a different way which would of course be the impetus. And also, when there is no other place to go comes to mind.
Seth… Let us try to be fair if you will, with ourselves. The concept of forced change in and of itself is misleading. I used the idea or hypothetical if you will with Shanna because that is certainly your life is the greatest precious gift that each of you has. So, the next question that I would ask her is that since she agrees that forced changed at times happens due to the idea that a gun was placed to her head, so she had to give up her pocketbook. But let us assume a month later or a week later she is walking along the street, and someone says to her in a nonthreatening manner would you please be kind enough to give me your pocketbook with all its valuables inside? What would you normally say then?
Shanna… No.
Seth… So, the idea of forced change here, one way is being compelled and the other way is being refused. In a larger sense, change is only effective when force is eliminated from the equation. Let us use a hypothetical or two to demonstrate the point. A man or a woman who was morbidly obese is told by their physician that they are going to develop serious health issues if they do not choose to change their eating habits and ways. Over ninety percent of individuals in this category do not change. I believe most individuals are aware of the health risks due to smoking. There is a large percentage of the American population that still smokes. The tobacco industry has record sales. Even knowing that you will probably develop a serious disease does not stop individuals from smoking. A man or a woman who has had a heart attack and their life hanging in the balance usually prays to, put quotes here around the idea of “G-d” which ever one they choose to pray to and they promise G-d that they will lose weight and stop smoking if they are saved. They will go to the gymnasium. They will eat better, and their convictions are real since they have been forced to make this change. Death is a harsh penalty for not listening. However, only twelve percent of individuals spontaneously make this forced change. Most relapse into their old ways unless outside force is used.
It is interesting to note that mass consciousness effects are also influenced by forced change. Examples of this may be seen in Eastern Europe. When the Soviet Block was in existence there was no tolerance for local hatred. When communism fell apart Serbians quickly reverted to their ways that were clearly seen as the start of World War I. I hope with these examples you can understand that when you are trying to effectively make a change in someone else you must not and cannot use “force” to achieve your desired results. Then the question arises: How does one coerce another into making effective changes in their viewpoints. The answer is simple one must seek out the idea that what is the motivation behind the other’s resistance? If you change the other’s understanding by clearly demonstrating that which to you is either incorrect or hurtful then of course an effective change may be possible.
Isabella… I have another question. Can effective change occur even if you were forced into it?
Seth… It rarely works. It rarely works due to the fact that the motivation behind the change is not coming from within, it is coming from without.
Isabella… But I disagree with that.
Seth… Show me.
Isabella… Because in my situation with my ex-husband when I was forced into changing after that event.
Seth… Certainly were not.
Isabella… What do you mean? I absolutely was, I had to change.
Seth… Why did you have to change?
Isabella… Because… my whole world changed.
Seth… No what changed was a position. The fact that your husband decided to leave you…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… the fact that you were then forced back on your own did not mean that you were going to change anything about your personality. You did not like what you saw, you did not like the difficulties that you had so you examined self, did you not?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Where did the change then come from within or with out?
Isabella… Within but had Jacob and I not had difficulty.
Seth… Were you having difficulties already?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Then your answer cannot stand.
Isabella… Hmm, alright.
Seth… Your answer, that the idea is that forced change in your instance, was not true. There was nothing forced. You are making changes. You are making changes not to become dependent upon anyone again, correct?
Isabella… Em.
Seth… You are making changes not to let anyone become dependent on you, correct?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Are those changes from within or without?
Isabella… There from within, however, however, had this event not occurred…
Seth… The causative effect is not the change, it is only an incident.
Isabella… Huh?
Seth… For example, if you see a car accident that occurs because of a drunken driver, and you understand that drinking and driving are dangerous and therefore you give up drinking when you know you must drive where does the change come from…
Isabella… So.
Seth… within or without?
Isabella… I hear what you are saying so the cause…
Seth… Within or without?
Isabella… With…
Frank… Where did the change occur?
Isabella… in, right.
Seth… It always must come from within.
Isabella… So now the causative event is not the change?
Seth… It never is.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Shanna… So, then your divorce is the specific incident.
Isabella… Right. (Whispered,) Gottcha.
Seth… Go ahead. (To Stephanie who giggled.) Be careful.
Stephanie… Yeah, but I have a good question.
Seth… I’m sure you do.
Stephanie… Okay so once you clearly demonstrate that which is hurtful to this other person…
Seth… Such as William, go ahead.
Stephanie… Okay, fine. (Isabella giggling.) What if he would then since you are using him.
Seth… I’m not using him, you are. Go ahead.
Stephanie… (Giggling.) What if he would interpret the demonstration as him then having to look at and being quote, “forced” to look at self? So there…
Seth… Does he have to look at himself?
Stephanie… No, but if I am going to clearly demonstrate…
Seth… If you demonstrate…
Stephanie… this is how you hurt me.
Seth… If you demonstrate to someone, this is what is hurting me.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Does that individual have a choice of whether to look at it or not?
Stephanie… Of course.
Seth… And if they choose to look at it, are you forcing them to or are they doing it on their own?
Stephanie… Um, they will do it on their own, but it doesn’t mean that they are going to like it and they can experience it as feeling forced to look at themselves.
Seth… They may certainly think that they have been forced to look at themselves and if they do the effective change will not hold.
Stephanie… Okay but that’s my point, how then can you use this…
Seth… By repeating the same thing again and again and again. Do you think students learn just because you explain long division the first time? Or does it have to be reviewed.
Stephanie… No, it needs to be reviewed.
Seth… So, if things need to be reviewed, is there a set time limit where review is no longer effective?
Stephanie… No, but it doesn’t take ten years to learn long division.
Seth… No, it doesn’t but it takes lifetimes at times to learn trust.
Stephanie… Apparently. (Frank is chuckling and Isabella, says “Oooh”. Stephanie gives a laugh.)
Seth… Are we finished?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Keep going, Seth one, Kaetorina nothing.
Stephanie… So, what if the person rails against when you are attempting again to confront the person and doesn’t want to look so that they take you all over the moon with it?
Seth… Who’s going? Who’s allowing them to go there?
Stephanie… Alright, so then what do you do? You then refocus and say this is what I am saying?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… And…
Seth… If you had a patient who was complaining about the fact that her husband does not love her…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and you then say, well show me how you demonstrate your love to your husband? Well, I really don’t. I am having an affair. I don’t like him. I don’t want to go out with him. And the question is: but he is not demonstrating love to me? I want him to love me. What would you say to that person?
Stephanie… Well, you have to look at your own actions.
Seth… Ah! So, is it not necessary here for the confrontation to force someone else to look at themselves in an effective manner? This is not about this, your choices here, support me or don’t.
Stephanie… Right, so what if you then go to that place and you are obviously stating you need to look at yourself in terms of what’s going on here, isn’t that then perceived as a forcing?
Seth… And if they perceive it as a forcing, what did I say?
Stephanie… Then I have to return back to the original…
Seth… You have to go back to the original idea and clearly state, I am not forcing you to do anything, I am presenting what has happened to me and my understanding and feelings about what went on. I am not asking you to understand it. I am not asking you to agree with it. I am not asking you to appreciate it. I am asking you to allow me to be myself and to promote myself in a way that I believe benefits me. You may disagree with me, that’s perfectly legitimate.
Stephanie… Em hmm. So, what if his perception is that he did do the things that I was asking for but in actuality he did not.
Seth… You did not do these things for the following reasons. I understand what you are saying that you think you did but let me show you from my perspective how I saw them. There is a communication and dialog that must go back and forth. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Em hmm. Okay so in terms of what happened with my discussion with William, he uses certain tactics to confuse the issue or sidetrack and I then get on that train, and I have to deal with that and it is all like a covering up of what…
Seth… Instead of…
Stephanie… he doesn’t want to look at.
Seth… Instead of you very, very carefully and gently saying I’d like you to listen to what I am saying. I’m not talking about that; I am speaking about this. This is my belief. This is what happened to me.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… And you refocus. It is called dissuasion in your business.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And you fell for it.
Stephanie… Right, but I was just going to say, he was providing all the dissuasion and I feel like I’m completely spinning my wheels.
Seth… And who fell for it?
Stephanie… Oh, I did.
Seth… Now, which leads us into another idea that I’d like to present this evening, of course is called “effective change” that we are dealing with here. It is clear from my discussion with Kaetorina that she wanted something. And there is no individual who does not want. I have asked each of you at times to understand the difference between need and want. (Seth has spoken to us many times about “Want verses Need”. This is a “Power of Attraction” concept, but it is also a call to action. Seth uses “Want” differently here than other writers or teachers. When people want and do nothing about that want, they create a lack and the universe through the law of attraction provides more lack or want and leaves the person “wanting”. When you need something like, for example a glass of water you tend to do something to alleviate your thirst. Better to change your wants into needs to create effective change. F.N.) When you want something, the universe will provide you with more wanting because that’s all you have legitimately asked for. Does anybody have difficulty with that? But the piece that most commonly individuals miss is that in the wanting you end up with less than you have previously had. You are spending energy on the wanting.
Jasmine… So, then you end up with less than you thought.
Seth… Correct. You are spending energy in the wanting. When you spend energy ineffectively change is not possible. Therefore, since you are spending energy unnecessarily if you will, that which you have is lessened and your needs increase. It is the idea that to spend without profit effectively causes you to lose. Arthur, do you understand a little bit better now this evening when I apply that statement to your sister. You are spending energy in wanting something and so you are ending up with less. Do you understand? (To Isabella.) Why no?
Isabella… Well, is it because all you ending up with is wanting? So, you are not getting what you want?
Seth… It’s not only not getting what you want. Let us assume that you desired someone to take care of you instead of fostering your own abilities. So, you want someone to constantly take care of you. So, when they take care of you with one little matter what do you do? You give them something else to take care of you about.
Isabella… Right. Okay.
Seth… And when they take care of two things what do you want them to do?
Isabella… A third.
Seth… Take care of a third and a fourth and a fifth. So, all of the things you were capable of you have now given away and the more you give away the less what?
Isabella… The less I have.
Seth… The less you have. And the less you have the more you really require so your needs increase by giving everything to wanting. Do you follow this?
Isabella… No.
Seth… What do you not understand?
Isabella… I understand it in that, in that respect of the needing to be taken care of by people but what if you want something else? I’m not talking about like you know; I’m not talking about a material thing but like what if want a great relationship?
Seth… If you want a great relationship with anyone, then the question one must ask is how do you define a great relationship?
Isabella… Okay and what if you have your definition?
Seth… Which is? An equal balance between two sharing partners…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… where one is capable of complementing the other. Is that a fair answer?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Well, the more you desperately search for that the more wanting you have and therefore when you look at others who will pick apart those deficiencies in that person.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Because they are real.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, the more you desperately try to make something perfect the more needy you become in finding that desire.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… Seth two, (Group laughter.) Isabella zero.
Isabella… But I was not… (Isabella grappling for words.)
Seth… I used the Seth two in terms of the idea of a level of understanding that you did not previously find.
Isabella… No, I get that in the respect of I’m going to use George as an example because I’m constantly nit picking all the things about him because obviously through the divorce, I am very scared about relationships. Is it because I’m nit picking that I’m finding things?
Seth… Nit picking depends upon what you want to define as doing that but if you are legitimately finding difficulties with him…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… then you are not nitpicking. Then you are appreciating that which he is.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Only you can make a determination of where any relationship could go or should go.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you stay with a relationship, or do you end it? That question only you can answer.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… Camouflage and delusions are rampant within the human species on this issue. Is there anything else?
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(The time was 8:57 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: It is important for each of you to use the concepts placed before you this evening in terms of change and wanting. The desire to make a difference that affects each of you in any line of study is what propels you forward. Do not expect change to make itself obvious on the first attempt or even the hundredth attempt; change that is effective is slow. It is like an ember in the morning fire pit that needs stirring. It needs fuel so that the heat and warmth of the fire of life may blaze brightly within each of you. Change itself commonly occurs over lifetimes. Each of you has your own task; some of you will finish it within this incarnation, others will take many more. The question arises, does it matter? The answer is of course not, for in reality you cannot fail. And that my dear students must give each of you hope and faith that the changes that are necessary will eventually be made and that the fruits of your labors will be tasty and sweet. Fear not. Do not look backwards for your point of power is always now. And you exist within the ever expanding now.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… What do you do while you’re waiting? (Frank laughs heartily.)
Seth… I’ve been waiting a lot longer than you. (Frank is still laughing as Stephanie giggles.)
Stephanie… So, what are you doing?
Seth… I believe that teaching is an effective way of waiting.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Seth three, Kaetorina zero.
Are there any other questions?
Shanna… Before you said about seeking out the idea of what is the motivation behind the other’s resistance?
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… Um, so how do you, how do you figure that out?
Seth… Ask questions.
Shanna… Like?
Seth… The more questions one asks another the least able they are to hide behind their camouflage and delusions.
Shanna… Like why don’t you want to do this?
Seth… Why don’t you want to do this is not a proper question because the answer is because I don’t.
Shanna… That’s like what kind of effective questions can you…
Seth… Depending upon the circumstances, what is preventing you from? How come you look at it this way when most everybody would choose to do this? What prevents you from looking at it from a different perspective? Do you believe that you are hurting yourself by your actions? Do you believe that you are hurting me by your actions? Do you not care about the “future” (Put that in quotes.) of whatever it is? Does that give you a helping hand?
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… Now write it down.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… Because you will forget.
Shanna… But I have other questions.
Seth… Go ahead.
Shanna… The other thing I didn’t understand was, you said if you change the other’s understanding by clearly demonstrating that which to you is either incorrect or hurtful then of course this type of change may be possible?
Seth… An effective change… they must understand why and how they’re hurting you.
Shanna… Okay in order for there to be an effective change.
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… Okay and then the other thing…
Seth… If you had been here last week, you would have understood this.
Shanna… I was waiting for that. Okay so the other thing is…
Seth… That was from the man through whom I speak, not from me.
Shanna… I’m sure. Thanks, Jerry. Okay.
Isabella… Jerry one, (Laughter.) Shanna zero.
Shanna… So, the whole thing about what the more you want you end up with less that I understand. But like what about with like a material thing? How does it work in an instance like that? So, let’s say you know, like Philip and I want a new apartment possibly. So, if we put…
Seth… It is not a question of wanting. If you were to write a list…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… of the effective means of you either getting or buying or owning or renting a different apartment.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… That will give you a course of action that is profitable for both of you.
Shanna… Writing down what?
Seth… That which you, the reasons you need…
Shanna… Or why?
Seth… of the why you would like a new apartment, a bigger apartment, a better apartment, ownership as opposed to rental, rental as opposed to ownership.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… One of the things you should be doing is have you read the book “The Secret”?
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… Have you taken notes on it?
Shanna… No.
Seth… Why not?
Shanna… Um…
Seth… Therefore, you should read it again and take notes.
Shanna… Okay. Okay but I guess I am saying in a situation like that how do you end up with less?
Jasmine… Not creating more wanting.
Seth… You’re not creating less by stating, this is a plan of action. These are the things that I require “need” to accomplish my goal. Whatever your goal is on any subject and it matters not whether it’s an apartment, whether it is a better job, whether anything. So, what do I require and you state your list of goals and if you work towards those goals, you are not wanting, you are fulfilling your needs.
Shanna… Right so if I am just saying like I want this, I want a new apartment, I want one that has this and I…
Seth… You’re getting less.
Shanna… But how am I getting less because…?
Seth… Because one, you are spending your energy in wanting. You’re not doing anything.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… I want, I want, I want and what have you gotten so far? Wanting.
Shanna… Right.
Isabella… I have a question actually on the same topic. Um, George the Vet is…
Seth… Should we call him by that from now on, George the Vet?
Isabella… No, because he gets angry. But (Whispers kidding.) because I don’t know how to call him by name. He is trying to get a residency, a surgical residency obviously in Veterinarian Medicine and he’s been trying for the last few years to get accepted into a residency program and it has been difficult for him. He is going through this kind of like crisis almost because he is not getting the residency that he wants and he’s very, I’m using the word want, and he is very concerned that yet again he’s not going to get it and then what is he going to do with his career if he doesn’t get the residency that he wants.
Seth… Would it not be appropriate to establish a list of goals?
Isabella… Well, that’s what I am asking because it says what would I require to accomplish my goals but for him, he is doing what he needs to do.
Seth… Let us assume…
Isabella… He is doing the application. He is writing the papers to get published. He is doing all those things.
Seth… Let us assume that he truly wants something whatever that something is and therefore he could for example take a subordinate role in terms of surgery. He may look at surgery and put off to the side for awhile, go into some other specialty and transfer over. There are many ways to accomplish something by being indirect instead of direct.
Isabella… So, being indirect? I don’t really understand.
Seth… For example, let’s assume, give us a moment, let us assume he decided to do something in neurology.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… And he became a Veterinarian Neurologist. Well once he did that, he may find it may be much easier to move into a surgical area because he already has one specialty and move to another.
Isabella… See, his big thing is the time factor. He is very concerned that he has been wasting time and that he’s twenty, almost twenty-nine years old and he should almost be done with his you know…
Seth… A Cardiac Thoracic Surgeon typically ends their training at thirty-six.
Isabella… Right. So, you… because he is doing neurology right now. He did an internship in surgery, now he is doing neurology and he is doing surgery in neurology. He’s doing back surgery and spine surgery and all that kind of stuff, but he is afraid that he is not going to like it. And…
Seth… That’s fear. Fear is the opposite of love.
Isabella… But he thinks he would like surgery more, so he is afraid if he goes into neurology, he is not going to be happy in his career.
Seth… It is not a question of being happy in a career. It is being happy with yourself. If you tell yourself, I’m not going to be happy doing this then it doesn’t matter how good bad you are at anything because the chances are you are not going to be good at it.
Isabella… So how can I be of assistance to him?
Seth… Why would you even want to be? Do you remember…
Isabella… Ah, because… because.
Seth… Do you remember my question from before?
Isabella… Yes, I’m not asking to take care of him.
Seth… Are you not? Show me how you are not. You just said what can I do! Those are your first words.
Isabella… But when he asks me questions no, when he says to me Isabella, I feel like I am having an identity crisis in my career, what do I do?
Seth… Then you have to refocus him upon himself…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Then you focus him by saying you may accomplish what you choose by doing one thing and getting into the back door. Because if he becomes superb at one thing would not people want him to be able to do two?
Isabella… Yes, he’s kicking himself about not doing you know, something else in his life.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… I did have another one in regards to this, about change. So, oh when you are saying “the fruits of your labor,” I’ve been having crazy things with fruit like eating fruit where… (Theremust have been people smirking or some such thing to Isabella’s association to the metaphor as Isabella reacts.) No, no, no, no, no, no, seriously, where I have really been like appreciating my eating and I am curious as to why a level of enlightenment happens over like food? Do you know what I mean? I know it sounds like stupid.
Seth… There is no question that I could ever or have ever heard where I would consider stupid and to be fair to you, I’m slightly older than you are. An appreciation of anything occurs when you put things into their context and that which you believe is beneficial to you will always taste better than that which you do because you have to. That always has a sour or a bitter taste. You understand? Are there any other questions?
Frank… Yeah. This actually is a personal question having to do with my brother, but it’s involved with the material. The idea of I was essentially forced by him to come up with a suitable rent for him to pay and I tried to…
Seth… And it was your decision alone?
Frank… I… it was not, I pulled other people…
Seth… But you were forced to?
Frank… I pulled other people into it; I was the main…
Seth… You may have been the driving force.
Frank… I was the driving force and I decided on a certain amount that I felt was not going to break him but at the same time encourage him to be more responsible.
Seth… Approximately double what he was paying.
Frank… I did approximately double what he was paying and half of what the value the rent would bring, therefore reasonable. I guess my question is well, one this isn’t necessarily going to make him change or do that…
Seth… It might, it might not. We do not know how he will react.
Frank… And I guess you were kind of answering the question already by the other people’s questions because I wasn’t sure whether I was fooling myself in terms of this being a reasonable thing to present, in terms of being helpful not hurtful. I heard what Arthur was talking about this morning… earlier with his sister and…
Seth… Depending upon where you are, its morning.
Frank… Yes. In terms of maybe some input on that.
Seth… There’s no need.
Frank… Okay. Fair enough? (To Frank’s brother and all involved.)
Seth… Suitable.
Frank… Okay, part two is there any help you can give me…
Seth… Do I ever give you help?
Frank… Ahhh… you steer me in the right direction to get help.
Seth… Don’t answer the question, move along. (Stephanie giggles.)
Frank… Is there anything else I can do to assist him in the decisions that he has to make to do change because this guy is…
Seth… Did you hear my statement over here?
Frank… Yeah, you can’t.
Seth… Change the word Arthur to our friend Frank.
Frank… I don’t think I am in pain over it like Arthur.
Seth… Sure, you are. (Frank laughs as does Arthur.) You just deny that which is.
Frank… I was… well whatever.
Seth… Let’s ask Kaetorina, is he in pain?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Quite a lot.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Let me ask one more. If my sister has as she did a list of priorities and in some ways a reasonable list of priorities and some determination to fulfill them…
Seth… You may make suggestions.
Arthur… is that not useful to her. I mean a…
Seth… You may make suggestions. But you can’t do it for her.
Arthur… And who am I to say whether her suggestions are right or wrong? Whether her list is right or wrong?
Seth… You’re not.
Arthur… Well, those would be my only suggestions, you know.
Seth… Let me give you a simplistic answer here. I believe that there was recently a motion picture about a man whose wife walks out on him and leaves him with a son who becomes destitute…
Frank… This would have been…
Stephanie… I just watched it the other day.
Seth… Did you watch the picture, “Pursuit of Happiness”?
Arthur… I didn’t see it.
Seth… I would strongly suggest you rent it immediately and then watch this picture and apply everything that you see in this picture towards your sister.
Are there any other questions?
Shanna… Yeah, I have one more. My Mom went on a real promising interview for a job up in New Hampshire near where she’s supposed to be (Laughs.) and she was utilizing like a lot of The Law of Attraction prior to the interview, she went on the interview, she had a really good vibe from it, anything as far that you could suggest for her to do at this point?
Seth… Continue on with The Law of Attraction.
Shanna… Okay so it’s imagining it happening and…
Seth… Whether it does or not remember, this is not only her play but other’s people’s plays as well.
Shanna… It’s a combination of other people’s plays.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: The more you force, prod, entice, assist, cajole, the more your needs increase. Effective change is never forced. It always comes from within and is a slow painstaking process that one must diligently work at. Stir the embers of your existence and allow them to burn brightly. I bid each of you a hardy good evening.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here this evening. I would like to do some minor housekeeping. Just for your information, I believe Isabella that you have lost if you will an opportunity to advance yourself, first in your eyes of course and then of course in the eyes of your parents. Now, you eventually went ahead and took downstairs some clothing if you will that were in some bags. The difficulty here was not the fact that you eventually did it but in the putting off of that which is your responsibility to accomplish something. I believe that you would have been better served for you if you had: A) Gone ahead and said, I know I do not want to unpack these now would you give me a hand and help me take them downstairs. Well, that was something you could have certainly written down and had your parents sign because it certainly would have promoted you. Do you follow me so far? (The reader should note that the following is an example of facilitating Change. Seth gave Isabella and her parents an exercise of writing down all that she does for the family/community and posting it on the refrigerator. This was done so that Isabella could increase her functioning and understanding about living in a community and that the parents could see that change occurring. How often do parents with young children or grown children for that matter not understand how to teach their children to contribute to the community and therefore function on a higher level?! FN)
Isabella… I didn’t think that I was allowed to ask for assistance in that area.
Seth… Well, asking for assistance is having somebody do something without your being present, but if you are working with someone or someone in this instance is working with you there is absolutely no problem in terms of granting and gaining assistance. For example, the bag was far too heavy for you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Or maybe you could have even done one of two things, broken it up into two or three separate different bags or work with somebody to help take that one bag downstairs. You understand what I am saying?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… You must again use the opportunities that you are given to learn to work within a communal atmosphere, if you will. And you do this by routinely developing ways however you choose to promote yourself and of course you will write this and because I believe that it is very important for your parents to become aware of that which you have accomplished. You understand? For example, like emptying the dishwasher…
Isabella… I know but I don’t even think about it anymore. Like I don’t think about doing it, I just do it, so I don’t even think about writing it down. (This writing down what you do for the family/community exercise was given to Isabella by Seth in Session 348.)
Seth… Well, you’re making an error in judgment.
Isabella… But I do so much, so many things that I mean it’s…
Seth… It is something…
Isabella… like ridiculous for me to write everything down.
Seth… No, it’s not; it is an improvement of self. Whether you for example would choose to let us say do the ironing, of course you do not do ironing in this house, but you could for example say, well, I’m going to the cleaning store today, give me all your clothes and I will take them for you. Well, that would be certainly something that is living within a community you would put up on the…
Isabella… Right, of course.
Seth… board.
Isabella… Well, let me ask you a question. If someone was going to pick up the clothing from the cleaners, would it be appropriate for them to pick up my things also that are there if they are going?
Seth… Probably not and the reason that…
Isabella… But if I were going, would it be appropriate for me to pick up their stuff?
Seth… Well, who is learning what? In other words, if you are learning to do things…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… in a different manner, then you go out of your way to do things in a different manner.
Isabella… But that’s not really living in a community then. A community helps one another.
Seth… You are the living person here who has had the object of your parental scorn if you will.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… They have pointed a finger at you and said you do not! Therefore, what you are doing this for is to show them that you do.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Therefore, it may seem out of kilter for you if you understand what I am saying in terms of, I’m doing so much, and they are doing so little. Well in the beginning part of your new learning process this is as it should be.
Isabella… I just feel like I am so worn with this with how many things I am doing, not in the house but in my life and in my job and that I am just exhausted all the time. And I just feel like there, I can’t possibly fit more things into my schedule and I…
Seth… Part of it is dis-ease. (Dis-ease has been discussed by Seth and others as a state of being continually uncomfortable or ill at ease, stressed, anxious etcetera. It is the opposite of feeling comfortable and centered. Over a long period of time, meaning a number of years allowing yourself and your body to be in the state of disease can actually cause real diseases to develop. F.N.) Dis-ease because you are under the erroneous belief that you can’t do more. It is not doing more; it is doing something effectively that matters. And I believe that as you learn to space yourself out what you can accomplish, what you would like to accomplish and what you accomplish you will see that your levels of energy will rise. Right now, you have dis-ease and you are always tired under this set of circumstances, one because of what you are going through that’s obvious and two because you are chronically worried about a number of different items that you are aware of. Such as is the person I am now dating the correct one for me? Such as what will happen with my divorce? Such as what about my friendships with the other ladies at school or other friends? Will I keep them? Will I lose them? All of this plays a heavy role. You’re also worried about your relationship with the man through whom I speak and of course, Jasmine. All of these types of difficulties if you will cause you dis-ease. So, what you do is you make yourself tired to escape from. Do you understand?
Isabella… Okay so then how do I…
Seth… By not giving in.
Isabella… To the tiredness? To not napping or whatever?
Seth… I’m not saying never nap, do not misunderstand me. I am saying if there is something to do, do it! Go out of your way to be the person that people can look to do something. I will use your idea of the cleaners. Be the person to go to the cleaners. Be the person to go to the grocery because that will give you a sense of accomplishment and the more you can write down no matter how large, I cooked dinner for twenty-five people…
Isabella… Em.
Seth… or how small, there was paper on the floor and I picked up.
Jasmine… All those little things?
Seth… Anything that you can do that promotes you that you don’t have to do gives you a sense of satisfaction and it also teaches your parents the fact that you can accomplish something within a communal setting. Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… That being stated.
Stephanie… I have a question.
Seth… Wait. (Said to Stephanie and turns to Isabella and says,) Not the only one I do that to. (Stephanie giggles, this is in reference to last session number 350 where Isabella voiced concern about being the only one that Seth limits the timing of questions.)
That being stated, we have embarked upon the idea of Change and Change itself must be very carefully studied with all of its intricacies if you will, so that as an individual you may learn to dissect that which you require from the myriad of events that surround you on a day-to-day basis. Yes, Kaetorina?
Stephanie… I want to know when you have been very, very hurt by somebody how do you go about forgiving them?
Seth… That takes us back to last week’s idea if you will. First of all, Kaetorina have you read over that material?
Stephanie… No not yet.
Seth… It would have been helpful.
Change itself and to use the idea of forgiveness, of course is a change. It is a change in Perception…
Jasmine… Forgiveness is a change in Perception.
Seth… Underline and capitalize the word perception. As each of you goes about their normal routine, events seem to come and go. Commonly you become weary of the affects that seem to tie you down. Many individuals describe this feeling as being buried in the sand and having the tide come in and wash over them. You become closed; your connection to the universe is not effective. Commonly people have difficulty in dealing with others.
Isabella, would you not agree with that statement that when you are tied down and feel like you are buried up to your neck and the waters are washing over you, how effective are you in dealing with Jasmine and the man through whom I speak? Do you understand why you become tired and weary and the hurt and I am using the word carefully here, that you fear…
Isabella… In regards to?
Seth… Them.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… causes you great pain and difficulties at times; does it not?
Isabella… I don’t think it’s conscious.
Seth… Let me challenge you on that statement.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… When, let’s say Jasmine makes a statement to you that you do not find as suitable, do you speak kindly, or do you lash out quickly?
Isabella… No, I lash out.
Seth… I believe that the score now is Seth one (Isabella sighed.) and Isabella nothing.
Isabella… No, what you were saying is that I am hurt.
Seth… If you are lashing out, are you hurt?
Isabella… Um, I don’t know. Yeah, I guess.
Seth… Let us move along. Now so these feeling of a rejection, certainly feelings of disappointment lead to anger. You have a closed perception of what the universe is giving to you.
Stephanie… Can I ask a question?
Seth… Make it brief.
Stephanie… When you’re saying, you are closed, are you talking about to the person who has hurt you or just…
Seth… In general.
Stephanie… It spreads out.
Seth… Does it not?
Stephanie… Okay, trust, yeah.
Seth… Now, so the idea here is you are closed to the universe. Let me ask each of you and I am sure by a quick answer that you will agree with me, have you ever been in a room or enter a house where the air seems musty and stale and there seems to be an overwhelming depression within that home or room? Has each of you ever experienced this? Arthur?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Frank?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Therefore, it’s not that I was ignoring you, I knew that you said yes. Your overwhelming feeling here is that there is something that is grabbing you that makes you ill at ease. Since the house or the room that you have entered and the air is not fresh, the most common tendency here is to go ahead and to leave that room, walk outside and take a deep breath or two. Now, what has this accomplished for you? You have reopened your physical body to the freshness, the openness that is outside of the area that you were in. The same concept here must be applied to your connection with the universe.
Now, the idea that one has of reconnecting to the universe is foolish in and of itself for the question arises: can you as an individual ever be divorced from the universe? And of course, the answer is no. What you are having difficulty with is your perception of what the universe is providing you. You cannot step outside yourself but what you must do is to reinvigorate that which makes you have dis-ease! That which is unhappy to you, unfair, unpleasant causes you to close off your connection to that which is profitable, your connection that which is profitable becomes estranged. You lose that which you seek. One must then learn to play the game properly if you will. For our sports enthusiasts let us ask a simple question: if you are playing a ballgame, Frank and you have a left-handed hitter come up who only pulls the ball to the left, do you change the position of your defensive team?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Which is the same thing, write this down, which is the same thing that you must do…
Jasmine… Is that farfetched?
Seth… If you have a player, a ballplayer who only hits the ball to the left side do you then change the position of your defensive team? Our friend Frank answered yes which is correct. In doing so you have learned to adjust, if you will; in doing so you have learned to adjust with the events that are constantly occurring. One must learn to be flexible. Forgiveness is based on a simple idea that you must learn to be flexible.
Jasmine… That’s the idea that you must learn to…?
Seth… Learn to be flexible. Let us look at this in more detail. When you have been injured or upset or bothered for long periods of time you are obviously closed to the idea of change. You cannot forgive. A better reference point might be you will not forgive. In dealing with a problem that is of a longstanding duration the first individual and perhaps the most difficult one to deal with especially when forgiveness is mandatory is yourself! While this seems odd it is the absolutely true statement of fact! If you or anyone for that matter cannot forgive themselves for covering up injuries, disappointments, fear, anxiety for long periods of time then of course you’ll never be able to forgive the other. As stated previously it is the covering up of events, the camouflage systems that individuals put in place that they routinely fall back upon that prevents them from changing.
If you cannot change, you cannot forgive, for your mindset focuses upon anger. One of the methods that can be used effectively here, especially with a friend or a companion is the idea of an explosion of feelings. Quite commonly, when used effectively this explosion of feelings is not rational at all but it is effective in getting rid of the hurt that you perceive is around you. Now there are many ways to explode. You may talk to a friend and yell at them in terms of this is what this person did to me, I will never, they will never, whatever you choose to say. You may write a hurtful or angry letter and then burn it or rip it up. It is the getting rid of the negatively if you will that allows you to uncover the goodness within yourself. You should not wait; act immediately for the longer you wait the more camouflage you create. As you go ahead and take a deep breath of fresh air to escape the smell of the musty room so you will explode out that which bothers you. This explosion, if you will, is obviously not meant for the person who gave you difficulty. The explosion is meant for you. In doing so, you have embarked upon the first step of forgiveness. It does not matter how long or how often you have been bothered by another. The question is how long do you choose to be closed and endure? How long do you choose to be closed and endure something that you find intolerable? The first person you are going to seek forgiveness from is of course yourself. The second person that you will choose to look at after your breath of fresh air is the other.
Jasmine… The one who hurt you?
Seth… Of course, and if this individual, for a hypothetical example is doing this on purpose, then you forgive him for their foolishness and you dismiss that person from your spheres of influence. If this person is not doing something malevolently then of course it is incumbent upon you to gently explain that which that has bothered you and, in your explanation, you will make absolutely certain that you make it clear to them that you cannot and will not allow yourself to be pushed into this type of a situation again and again. Don’t wait. Forgiveness makes you comfortable. Don’t wait so that you’re covering up that which is bothering you, don’t wait, take a deep breath and be open to the universe.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Before you continue with your break, I believe that it is important at this point of reference for Kaetorina to read into the transcript, if you will something that she found called “The Invitation” and I believe that the idea here of change and forgiveness is paramount to this. Ah Betty, for you somewhere this evening, please give Kaetorina your address so that someone can mail you a copy of this.
Betty… “The Invitation”
Seth… Yes.
Betty… I have it.
Seth… You have it then of course…
Betty… If it is the same one, yes.
Seth… It is a simple paragraph or two. Go ahead.
Stephanie read into the transcript the following poem.
The Invitation
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and Author
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dreams for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon… I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Seth… I believe at this point we shall continue our break and I have made sure that there is a copy for each of you.
Let us continue: Again Kaetorina, thank you for your efforts in typing that up and I think the ideas that can be gathered from this short statement are invaluable to each of you. Are there any questions?
Stephanie… So, once you forgive yourself and you know we are dealing with the idea of the long period hurt and you forgive yourself for all the participation in it then what would make you trust the person or like them?
Seth… You may never trust them and nor may you ever like them. You do not have to.
Stephanie… Okay so then what you are saying is the forgiveness of self is the only thing necessary?
Seth… No, you can forgive them for actions that they have taken. You may have seen on your television or read about people who have been severely hurt by another. They have at times in certain circumstances have a parent confront their child or husband’s killer…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and they do make amends with each other. They may never like each other but they forgive each other in terms of their working relationships. The idea of forgiveness does not mean “like”. It does not mean “accept”. It just means that you are going to go ahead and perceive a change that will allow you to…
Betty… Isn’t that healing?
Seth… Excuse me?
Betty… Isn’t that healing?
Seth… Healing is a form of forgiveness.
Betty… But how can you heal without forgiveness? That is a big saying on my wall and that promotes staying close.
Seth… Healing is a part and parcel of learning to forgive. Your wounds themselves whether you forgive the person or not will excuse me lessen with time. That does not mean that you are not affected by those injuries if you will. People carry over from one lifetime to the next things that they have not dealt with properly. So healing is not the same as forgiveness. Do you understand, Betty?
Isabella… But how do you know if you’ve dealt with the hurt properly? Like for me I feel like, and I know it’s obviously still raw and a short period of time but there is a feeling of loss.
Seth… Well again, this is a tending to be at least in this incarnation if you will a theme. You understand?
Isabella… The loss?
Seth… Whether it be loss of friendship, whether it be loss of children as an individual you are aware of course that the chances of you losing your parents when they end their incarnation is a loss. So, the idea of loss has many ramifications, again things that you can forgive, things that you can do will effectively lessen those difficulties.
Isabella… Such as?
Seth… When you deal with loss as a part and parcel of an incarnation itself then it is only a matter of degree. For example, which would be worse to you the loss for example as you stated of the child or the loss of your brother?
Isabella… Oh, that’s easy the loss of my brother.
Seth… Because there is an attachment. What time will do for you is to lessen the emotional “attachment” that you have for the idea that is giving you great problems now. There is a great sense of attachment to your brother or to your parents. The reason that you do not feel the loss of husband is because he to you is not worth the effort to feel the loss. Does this make sense to you now?
Isabella… Yeah. (Emotional.)
Seth… Did I answer your question?
Isabella… So, what do I need to forgive myself for in this situation?
Seth… That you forgive yourself for that which you did not perceive.
Isabella… That basically is what everyone was saying about him and who he was.
Seth… Well, the most common thing that people do not perceive, are not aware of or when they are, they cover it over. For long periods of time until the wife who has been beaten by her husband for ten years picks up a butcher knife and in his sleep stabs him to death because she cannot explode in any other way.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… You understand?
Isabella… Yes. I have a few other questions, quickly.
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… Do you feel that it would be better for me to not be in any kind of relationship right now? Or is it still part of the learning to be in a community, like…
Seth… I believe the fact of it is, is not relevant to you at all. What I see, what I do not see is not relevant. What you gain from being in any relationship, what you lose from being in any relationship is only relevant to you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… It is what your feelings are, what your perceptions are that matter.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You understand?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Again, I have stated that one should be casual at your state because you are far too fragile…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… to enter something into a serious nature. Does that help you?
Isabella… No, I am seeing that within myself because I am seeing myself falling into old patterns very fast.
Seth… And you certainly have.
Isabella… But I am aware. I am aware of it.
Seth… Makes no difference because when you fall into an old pattern you cover up that which you should not be doing, and you make excuses for doing.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Make excuses for not. Don’t make excuses for.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… You understand?
Isabella… But there are ways to pull back, I mean.
Seth… There are many ways to do anything.
Isabella… And the other thing that I wanted to ask is this, again I am having this, this weight issue, this eating issue and…
Seth… Why are you eating? What’s eating you?
Isabella… My body right now, obviously.
Seth… So, when you can get that under control.
Isabella… Right but, but however.
Seth… There’s no buts.
Isabella… I’m still finding this lack of desire to go to the gym or you know do something positive in nature for myself for my body.
Seth… Read this lecture as many times as necessary.
Isabella… Okay and what I was thinking was as opposed to going to the gym which I really hate, which would maybe get into Yoga which I thought would be more beneficial for me physically and emotionally.
Seth… Anything that you can do as a routine is beneficial. Whether you require somebody to force you to do it…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… whether you can do it on your own matters of course not.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Is there anything else? (Isabella indicates not at this time.) We can come back.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Yeah, okay so you said you forgive yourself for that which you do not perceive so in my case for example with my father what I would be concerned about is that which I did not perceive. So, if I forgave him…
Seth… Oh, you perceived it very clearly, you just covered it over.
Frank… Right.
Stephanie… Alright so what makes me trust that I won’t do that because I wasn’t aware of the covering?
Seth… Now you are.
Stephanie… Oh, so now I am.
Seth… And you can still cover it over; that is of course your choice.
Stephanie… Alright so if I was going to forgive him for example then I am supposed to approach the situation anew for example, the relationship anew. Is that what I should, must, supposed to do?
Seth… You must approach anything that he does with a different set of eyes and certainly, ears that hear.
Stephanie… Right so the second the line would be crossed that’s when I would perceive it differently and…
Seth… Or not and choose to react differently.
Stephanie… Right and choose to react differently.
Seth… Or not.
Stephanie… Right, or not. So, I think that my fear is that if I forgive then I am opening myself again to be hurt.
Seth… Whether you forgive or not, there is a greater tendency to be hurt when you cover it over because as if you had read last weeks…
Stephanie… Because I am not aware.
Seth… session, you allow the person to keep on hurting you.
Stephanie… Right, because I am not making myself aware.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Right, so why do I… that’s just a distortion on my part? This comment about if I forgive, I’m thinking I’m more open.
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… Well, why do I feel that way? I feel more vulnerable?
Seth… I cannot tell you why you feel that way that is something for you to research.
Stephanie… Right but it makes me feel more vulnerable because then I am open to the feeling of wanting something different.
Seth… You are more open by covering up something than you could ever be by confronting it. If you would ask Jasmine and I believe that she can understand this, when you cover up your own feelings towards what others are doing to you…
Stephanie… Uh huh.
Seth… How well do you do?
Jasmine… Very bad.
Seth… Is it easier to confront or is it easier to cover it over? (Pause.) It’s easier to cover it over.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Which is more profitable?
Jasmine… Confronting.
Seth… I believe you have your own answer.
Stephanie… Okay so then I think that the fear would be if that’s what I should always do that I would constantly be confronting and then the relationship would be horrible, and this is what I am in.
Seth… And if the relationship is horrible or the other person decides I cannot like this person, what have you lost?
Stephanie… Ah, I don’t know, the times I was pretending things were good? (Laughs.)
Frank… The idea of a father, perhaps?
Stephanie… Right, the idea that maybe he could pay for my backyard. (There is laughter.)
Seth… Things that are idealized are such an illusion that you cannot win.
Stephanie… So, you, you in reality are getting no profit from an idealization?
Seth… You cannot.
Stephanie… That’s just part of the covering over.
Seth… It is the pretending that things are fine when in reality they are constantly hurting you.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And the more they hurt and sting the more ground you pull over yourself and the further from reality you become, and you become closed to that which you need.
Stephanie… Em hmm. So, in the most extreme case I may need to have nothing to do with my father?
Seth… In the most extreme case or maybe in the best case.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Depending on how you look at it.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Right, that I would choose that.
Seth… You may choose that.
Stephanie… That would be the idea of continuing to confront every single time whatever that would be.
Seth… Things that upset you…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Things that bother you.
Stephanie… Right but that would be routinely because that’s what he presents.
Seth… Then you question what he is doing and why that is being done to you.
Stephanie… And then every time I question it and he continues it that feels like a hurt.
Seth… And it is if you allow it.
Stephanie… It… no, that is…
Seth… Yes!
Stephanie… because it is!
Seth… No, it is not.
Stephanie… I stated when you do this it hurts me and he will, and if he continues it then…
Seth… Then you casually (ask) why are you choosing to hurt me? Why do you do this?
Stephanie… Alright and so I would say that, and he would say his usual lies and bullshit and then…
Seth… Excuse me, I do not believe what you are saying because you constantly do it when I’ve asked you not to. Why do you continue?
Stephanie… Right and I stated that you do this when you continue, you know when I… whatever! I said something like that to him and of course because of his ability to change is so slim that, that will occur again.
Seth… If you change what must the other person do? (Stephanie does not respond.) If you change what must the other person do? (Often Seth will elongate the pronunciation of words to make a point, this occurs here.)
Stephanie… Okay so they would…
Seth… If you change what must the other person do?
Stephanie… They must change.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… There is no guarantee.
Stephanie… And change for the better or just change…
Seth… That is an unknown.
Stephanie… Right because he could choose to change by not dealing with me at all.
Seth… Correct. What have you lost?
Stephanie… Well, I guess nothing.
Seth… Can we move along?
Stephanie… I guess.
Isabella… I just have another question. Regarding my anxiety level, which I obviously I know I am having depression and things like that. But I am not anxious.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And I am curious as to what I thought that I would probably be the most anxious at this point. I’m not having any anxiety or fears or hypochondria or anything related to the sort and is it because I am so aware of what it is that is bothering me?
Seth… Correct. You cannot pretend.
Isabella… Right, so in the case of when I was really having anxiety and bugging out it was because I really wasn’t looking at what it was that was bothering me?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Which it of course was my marriage with Jacob and that’s why, because that was my way of hiding from it?
Seth… Of course!
Isabella… Was masking through anxiety.
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… That was my camouflage?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So that’s how I deal with things that I don’t want to look at is that I have anxiety.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… When I get panicky or whatever the case…
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Right. Well, that’s good to know.
Seth… I certainly hope so.
Isabella… Well does that mean that I don’t have to be medicated?
Seth… The only one who will be able to tell you that is you. There are things that you can do whether you feel you require it. Whether you don’t feel you require it. You can up your dose, you can lower your dose, you can see how things are coming.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Sorry, (Laughs.) okay, can we use my mother for a second?
Seth… We can use anything that you like.
Stephanie… See my mother is a different story.
Frank… Take my mother… please! (Laughter.)
Stephanie… Take my mother. (Laughter.) Now here is the situation where I don’t believe she has the ability to change. I mean it has, let’s say…
Seth… Are you omnipotent?
Stephanie… No… Okay, never mind.
Seth… Then I cannot accept your statement.
Stephanie… But let’s say I was going through this whole scenario of confronting and she is doing whatever she is doing and, you know, I don’t want, I would not want to not have her in my life.
Seth… Isn’t it a question of how you present things? Notice that I have always said that when you confront somebody, do it with kindness.
Stephanie… Right but let’s say we’re really kind, she’s very limited and she is just going to do what is comfortable for her, what isn’t, I mean there is a little movement there but in general she’s going to keep doing whatever she does. Does that mean that you…
Seth… You don’t have to give up anybody you choose not to give up.
Stephanie… Right so then that would…
Seth… You have stated what is bothering you. You have stated this is what you did to me…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and I want you to understand that these are hurts that are deep and bothering me for a long time. I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, but I had to tell you this because I could not deal with it any longer.
Stephanie… Em hmm. (Long pause.) So, you’re saying that anybody can change. It doesn’t matter, even my mother. (Laughs.)
Seth… Even Lee Chang. (Lee Change is a psychically gifted friend of Jerry’s who has lived over eight hundred lives but has tended to learn through negativity.)
Stephanie… Right, that’s a good example! That’s a very good example so who would be changing for Lee Chang to change.
Seth… Lee Chang.
Stephanie… No but who in his play? If his wife changed, he would have to?
Seth… Would not and is it not factual that our friend Frank got him to change to some extent?
Stephanie… This much. (Holding finger and thumb in a way to show very little.)
Seth… Then my question is truth therefore Seth one, Kaetorina zero.
Stephanie… Oh, well you are not saying how much change. You are just saying change.
Seth… Correct! The first step on a ten-thousand-mile journey begins with what?
Stephanie… Right the first one.
Isabella… What if you can’t confront the person who has hurt you?
Seth… If you cannot confront the person who has hurt you…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… My question then arises, what did the man through whom I speak do when he had to confront someone who hurt him?
Isabella… Hmm.
Frank… He went to the grave. (Jerry dealt with anger at his father by speaking to him much later at his father’s gravesite.)
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Oh.
Frank… You can write a letter.
Isabella… But I mean like with Jacob, like I can’t, you know, I can’t…
Seth… Do you think he would listen to you?
Isabella… No, that’s the point.
Seth… Then I would assume that the best procedure for you would be to…
Isabella… Write a letter.
Seth… Write a letter or explode or yell or put it on a tape recording and then destroy it. Once you destroy that which you have done you do not need to re-deal with it.
Isabella… (Crying.) But I feel like I said it before to him.
Seth… And obviously he cannot listen.
Isabella… I know that but I still feel…
Seth… Or will not listen.
Isabella… I still feel like I am still angry.
Seth… And who says that you do not have a right to be.
Isabella… But I have said it and I’ve exploded already.
Seth… And you may have to do it again.
Isabella… Well, that’s what I am asking like do you have to…
Seth… None of this at times for many individuals…
Isabella… It’s not a one-time thing.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Okay.
Frank… Is this any different than venting however?
Seth… Yes, this is vastly different than venting.
Frank… Right, well that’s the question.
Seth… It is different than venting because venting has no sense of direction. Venting does not mean that you are getting ridding of anything. I’m angry, I’m bothered they did this, they did this, and you are spreading out this way.
Frank… Like just complaining?
Seth… Right. This is not a complaint session.
Frank… Whereas the explosion has direction…
Seth… Explosion has a direction and a feeling and a force behind it.
Frank… Force is the thing that is bothering you and away from you?
Seth… Correct and that’s something you have to learn to deal with your feelings on certain things because you do not.
Frank… (Pause.) Right? (Another pause, I believe Frank is probably looking perplexed.)
Stephanie… (Laughs.) I’ll help you out. (Laughs.)
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: The air in a room becomes stale and foul so do your perceptions. You cannot shift with the events and patterns that swirl around you.
Jasmine… Can you say that again?
Seth… You cannot shift with the events and patterns that surround you. All too often you wait and hold out and pray for something better. By doing these things you increase your wants. Take a deep breath. Open yourself. Learn to shift and change. Learn to change effectively. Don’t wait. Make things happen. Be the force behind your own existence. Let your needs become paramount. I bid each of you a very fond good evening.
Victimization, Moving through Darkness and Confrontation Before Forgiveness
Tuesday Oct 23, 2007
8:20 p.m.
Seth… Good evening.
Group… Good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here this evening. We shall do a small bit of housekeeping that I believe will be necessary. The general question that I would ask first would be addressed to Jasmine and Isabella, how is “The Secret” coming?
Jasmine… Well, I haven’t gotten back to…
Seth… Well, I already know that, that’s one, next?
Isabella… You already know the answer.
Seth… Well, what is the answer please?
Isabella… It’s not going.
Seth… It’s not going. I would strongly suggest that both of you make a large attempt…
Jasmine… I’ll try to…
Seth… to get back to the idea. One other thing for our friend Frank when any soul ends their incarnation, and they return to a higher plane that which they did not have on the physical plane is automatically restored to a vim and vigor immediately upon the ending of their incarnation. I believe you can understand that, correct? (This was in response to discussion at dinner and the fact that Frank’s mother-in-law had recently died of Alzheimer’s disease.)
Frank… Correct.
Seth… As for our friend Arthur, although it is a great temptation for you to attempt at times to share, one must be very careful in giving so that one is not taken advantage of. And giving in this instance I do not mean in a monetary sense but in a sense of just of being kind to anyone else because people who are used to taking will tend to take heavy advantage of your good nature if you understand what I am saying. Do you follow?
Arthur… I follow and I do.
Seth… You may mull it over a bit at your own leisure.
Seth… Kaetorina, you had a question.
Stephanie… Can you talk about how one approaches the idea of forgiveness?
Seth… Give us a moment. Under our subject of Change the human condition, meaning those who inhabit this small corner of the physical plane tend of course to move through a great portion of their existence in darkness. Now it is important here that one understands the concept that I have just described. Therefore, we will require a working idea if you will of moving through darkness. Betty? (Often Seth would engage us with a question to make us think and therefore absorb the material better. It is suggested that the reader also think of an answer to the above before moving on.)
Betty… Yes?
Seth… Would you like to go first or last?
Betty… I didn’t hear the original question, but I think in terms…
Seth… The original question is simple: What does it mean by my statement that is what does it mean to you about the idea of moving through darkness? Most individuals do so.
Betty… Probably of, kind of living without a certain level of awareness; kind of going through the motions as opposed to fully experiencing.
Seth… You may now take it (The microphone.) and go ahead.
Isabella… I kind of agree with Betty, living under a shadow of negativity and in regards to not allowing change which I think forgiveness is just an offshoot of change. If you don’t forgive, you really only hurt yourself so in that case you live in darkness because how can you become enlightened if you are constantly angry and holding a grudge?
Arthur… I agree with both people. The idea of the lack of enlightenment, the idea of um, moving without a sense of…
Seth… Speak loudly so that (it will be recorded.)
Arthur… moving without a sense of being able to feel or see one’s way through, not being guided.
Frank… This is my own words, ignorance, not knowing and that not knowing about how things work, that there is some, some suffering that goes along with that.
Jasmine… I think it simply means living your life completely out of touch with what is really important and what’s really happening around you. And as Betty said, just totally not in awareness with what is going on.
Shanna… I see it as; you know living your life with pent up anger that you are keeping inside, and you know and holding grudges towards people.
Stephanie… I kind of see it as being blind and if you are blind, you can’t see doors and choices and so a lot of stagnation and not much movement.
Seth… While I disagree with the words themselves, the concepts that you have all given tend to convey, if you will, the idea that your horizons are not broad enough. There are very few individuals on the physical plane who do not routinely move through darkness. Very few individuals do not have this difficulty. The human condition as it is causes one to see and to participate routinely in events that shape and form the physical plane as you know it. When one is not open to the subtleties that the universe provides one is then limited by their own viewpoint.
Isabella… Can you give an example?
Seth… A good example here would be the simple idea that you Isabella routinely get angry or annoyed or bothered when individuals will point something out to you more than once. Now, you take this as an insult or criticism because what you do not see is that you have made the others, meaning your community, into a victim of that which you perceive is necessary for yourself. In other words, if you state that something will happen, and you routinely accomplish that task when individuals will not be able to point out to you for a second or a third time something that needs to be done by your hand. When your habitual nature is that of becoming lackadaisical, not meaning that you are lazy, but you will eventually get to the task, do you understand what I am saying here?
Isabella… Yeah, I don’t see how this has anything to do with not being open to the subtleties that the universe provides.
Seth… The universe provides that which you require. The subtleties there are manifested by the repeating nature of events. When for example you do not do something, the universe will give you a subtle hint by allowing you to do something else. When for instance you do not do this the second time or the third time the universe says because of what you are creating let’s do this a fourth or a fifth time. Do you understand what I mean here?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Therefore, when one is not contractually obligated to fulfill that which you as an individual require the universe will automatically since you are the creative force behind this provide you with another bit or opportunity for advancement. So, individuals here move through darkness because they do not create an environment that allows themselves to prosper by gaining knowledge and experience in a fair and just manner.
Stephanie… Through darkness because they don’t create an environment by gaining knowledge?
Seth… By gaining knowledge in a fair and just manner.
Stephanie… And experience.
Seth… And experience.
Isabella… Individuals do not create an environment which allows them to prosper?
Jasmine… No, when individuals move through darkness because they don’t create an environment by gaining knowledge and…
Seth… experience.
Isabella… How did that get to, allows them to prosper?
Seth… You do not prosper because you are moving through darkness, and you do not gain the experience that the universe has provided in a fair and just manner.
Jasmine… I don’t get it. They don’t create an environment that…
Isabella… That would allow them to prosper because they are moving through darkness.
Seth… When you, for example Jasmine, constantly worry about anything are you moving through an area where you are providing yourself an ability to grow and to prosper?
Jasmine… No, when I am worried?
Seth… When you are worried, correct. So that is exactly what I have stated.
Jasmine… So, individuals move through darkness because they don’t create an environment that allows them to prosper.
Seth… To prosper.
Jasmine… Allows them to prosper…
Seth… In a fair…
Jasmine… By gaining…
Seth… By gaining experience…
Jasmine… By gaining knowledge and experience in a fair and just manner.
Seth… May we move along? Now, when this occurs, the tendency for individuals is to point a finger if you will, in terms of anger at someone else. It is the response of that individual that becomes necessary for our giver of bad news if you will, victimizer is another word, to succeed. Now what does this mean?
Jasmine… Hmm.
Seth… I am aware but you have to think about this. When someone accuses you of anything, your response… (Stephanie must have responded in some way.) Would you like to take over?
Stephanie… I’ve just heard it so many times, prove it, show me how.
Seth… No, that was not what I was going to say but you happen to be correct (Stephanie laughs.) but in this instance we shall leave that go. Your response allows that individual to victimize you over and over again. Most individuals become angry and certainly upset with our victimizer. They attempt to fight back on the victimizer’s terms. Obviously, they cannot succeed. So, they are still in the dark if you will; they are moving through a portion of their own existence that mandates failure. Now, the question arises, since you cannot succeed how do you recover from this situation? Most individuals tend to gloss it over or cover it up; their refusal to recognize that which they require keeps them in the shadow of their own existence. Yes Jasmine?
Jasmine… I don’t think I understand. Most individuals tend to gloss over or cover up their refusal to recognize that which they require…
Seth… That which they require.
Stephanie… It keeps them in the shadow of their own existence.
Seth… This keeps them in the shadow of their own existence. Do you understand that?
Jasmine… I don’t know who the victimizer is in this whole scenario. The person who has made you angry?
Frank… Someone who is angry at you…
Jasmine… Is the victimizer?
Frank… And now you fight back perhaps.
Isabella… So, who is accusing you of something?
Frank… You did this to me; you didn’t treat me well!
Jasmine… I get that.
Isabella… They’re a victimizer. That’s who the victimizer is.
Stephanie… Well, we can use my father for an example. You know he; I mean I was screaming at him but let’s just say the way he bullies me. The way that my father would bully me when I would want to bring up something about him that would upset me so he would want to point fingers at me, what I didn’t do for him, what I did wrong, what I wasn’t right about. He would victimize me so that, I mean that is the covering up that he would…
Jasmine… Use you or no?
Stephanie… No, no, no, he would, you know that’s how he would live in the shadow of his own existence by never recognizing that he was a victimizer and refused to ever listen or take any responsibility for any of his actual actions. The victimization that went on and on and on and on in a hundred different ways; you know his statement of I’ve always been there for you is him living in the shadow of his existence.
Shanna… I thought it was opposite. I thought that when you’re having that conflict with your dad for example, and he is saying to you whatever you’re being victimized really.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Shanna… So, what Seth has said, how do you recover from you being victimized by your father?
Frank… Since you are not recognizing what you need.
Shanna… So, you’re the one really glossing it over.
Stephanie… Well, both are…
Seth… No, in this instance they are correct, Kaetorina.
Stephanie… Both are.
Seth… You’re the one who glossed it over. He is defending himself. He does not listen to you.
Stephanie… Right, but isn’t he glossing over?
Seth… This is where the idea of the object of saying prove it comes in. That is what you should say to him. Prove it.
Stephanie… Oh, yeah.
Frank… When you don’t say prove it, you’re in the shadow.
Seth… You become in the shadows of your own existence because what you have done is allowed someone else to gain the upper hand.
Stephanie… Right, but isn’t that also for him living in the shadow of, if you’re not…
Seth… No, he is very happy as to where he is living, he wins.
Shanna… Because he’s victimizing you.
Stephanie… But doesn’t the victimizer always live in the shadow of their…
Seth… Difference…
Stephanie… They’re not aware of any…
Seth… It’s not whether they are aware of something or not. They have a perception that they can justify.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And when they justify their perception, they don’t have to go any further.
Stephanie… Because they believe it.
Seth… You asked a question on forgiveness; we have not come to that point yet.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… We have to define how we get to the idea of forgiveness.
Stephanie… Okay, so then if I’m, so I by my not ever confronting him about his victimization that I am covering over my anger, my, all that stuff that I felt.
Seth… And what happened when it finally bursts forth as the damn?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) It exploded and burst forth. (Laughs.) Right so it’s an explosion once it is uncovered.
Seth… It can be.
Frank… Only because it’s so many years and so intense.
Stephanie… Right.
Frank… If you weren’t living in the shadows and saying, don’t do this to me, this is what you are doing and I don’t like this, I require something else, you’re now no longer in the shadow.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Frank… And you know what’s bothering you.
Stephanie… Right. Well, you can know and still not do anything about it.
Frank… But you cover it up, so you don’t know.
Seth… Now, to go on so as you cover up the idea that has been presented to you, you become entrenched if you will with the notion that this is the way life is. The difficulty here is to first recognize the simple fact that you are having difficulty with others. It is more comfortable for most individuals to pretend or falsify what they perceive as fact.
Isabella… Like in…
Seth… Again, the answer here and I will come to you in a second, when Kaetorina looks at her father and allows for years in this instance his bravado to replace her own needs then she has covered up, lived in darkness and falsified that which needed to be uncovered. Yes?
Isabella… I’m trying to put this into perspective between my ex-husband and myself.
Seth… What do you need to put into perspective?
Isabella… Well, I’m trying to get this whole thing in that area and maybe help me understand this a little bit more because I felt as though I was victimized by him.
Seth… Were you or were you not?
Isabella… I was so…
Seth… How did he victimize you? Let’s start with that question.
Isabella… Well, he walked out on me.
Seth… Let’s go back even further.
Isabella… Um, he deprived me of things that I required or wanted within a relationship.
Seth… Let us go back to the simplest of all ideas. If someone is dissatisfied what is your responsibility?
Isabella… To make yourself satisfied.
Seth… No.
Isabella… Or to figure out what it is you’re not satisfied about.
Seth… If I am married to you and I am dissatisfied with something that you are doing or…
Isabella… Talk, to acknowledge.
Seth… To at least be correct enough to state there is a problem. Did he do this?
Isabella… No.
Seth… And since he did not do this were you aware that there were difficulties?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Therefore, he made you a victim and you were not even aware of it.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… (To Stephanie.) Do you not see the difficulty here with William? Now, may I continue?
Isabella… Please well wait with?
Seth… Go ahead, yes with you.
Isabella… Yeah, you can continue with me.
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… Oh, because you said it was more comfortable for most individuals to pretend or falsify what they perceive as fact. So was Jacob…
Seth… Did you not since he never gave you the information, falsify what your beliefs were?
Isabella… Yeah, I thought everything was fine. Is that falsifying?
Seth… Of course, it is because somewhere by your own actions and own statements you knew things were not correct. There were things that were missing.
Isabella… Very deep down.
Seth… Were there things that were missing?
Isabella… Now, now, yes there were things that were missing, now that I am able to look back on it. I was not able to see it at the time.
Seth… I did not say that you are going to see this immediately, but you now understand the sentence.
Isabella… But what about for him?
Seth… We’re not concerned with him…
Isabella… No but…
Seth… Is he sitting here?
Isabella… No but I am. I want to know what he falsified in his own mind because you said it’s more comfortable to deal with the pretend. So, was he falsifying in his own mind his actions?
Seth… He justified. Remember he’s the victimizer. He doesn’t have to falsify anything.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… He victimizes you…
Jasmine… Who does the falsifying? The victim?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… Can’t the victimizer falsify also?
Seth… Well, the victimizer doesn’t have to, he justifies his actions by, look at what you did or did not do.
Shanna… You falsify by buying into what they are saying.
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… And say this is okay.
Seth… It is the similar example that one may use of someone who does not have a job and say well there is nothing out there for me!
Shanna… Right, right, they buy into that.
Seth… They buy into that. Do you understand? Now, in movements through darkness there are of course comes a time when somebody does something that will annoy or bother you and most individuals will state, that bothered me. And then the original individual our victimizer will say you know you are right I can understand that. I’m sorry.
Frank… (Said softly.) They never do that.
Seth… Let us assume that they do, and you will say, thank you. What has then occurred? And the answer is nothing. Nothing has occurred. And nothing has occurred because the symptomatology of the incident or incidences plural has never been addressed and what you have told the victimizer…
Jasmine… Symptomatology of incidents? (Someone assisted with the dictation.)
Isabella… Because it’s not, it’s not the actual incident, there’s a deeper-rooted problem.
Seth… There may be.
Isabella… Like about why the person did what they did.
Seth… Let us get there slowly. Now, you have told the victimizer that it is legitimate to continue to hurt me.
Jasmine… By saying…
Isabella… Thank you.
Jasmine… that bothered me?
Shanna… No, by accepting that apology.
Seth… Thank you, thank you for your apology.
Jasmine… Right, so now by accepting …
Isabella… You have told the victimizer that you…
Shanna… That this isn’t bothering you.
Isabella… Oh.
Seth… Now, once you have gone this far in reality you have accomplished nothing, one must then automatically find it necessary in a kind manner to diligently and in great detail explain that which has bothered you or upset you.
Now, the reason that I have made a careful distinction in how your response must be formulated is due to the fact that kindness is mandatory for you at this point in your perceptions of the other. When, for example one speaks in a hostile tone the result can never be favorable. A clear example of this is seen when the man through whom I speak spoke to Kaetorina’s father. When he exploded the man through whom I speak immediately stated you are not to speak to me in that way. Lower your voice, do not yell at me. What does this accomplish? It allowed our victimizer the leeway of calming himself down and at least attempting to justify his words. This attempt can lead to a mutual understanding one to the other. This attempt and again can lead to a mutual understanding of a difficulty that one has with the other. By allowing your points of why you were hurt to be digested by our victimizer you have then at least opened the door to understanding. The moment this door has been opened you move from darkness into the clear light of prosperity. Now I am not saying that the first person will agree with you. They do not have to.
Jasmine… You mean the victimizer?
Seth… They do not have to.
Now, you have presented the simplistic idea of why I have been bothered by your actions. Their apology if there is going to be one can now be understood by both parties.
Stephanie… Because now both are involved.
Seth… Not necessarily, remember the victimizer may never have moved into darkness. Do not confuse the two.
Stephanie… Enters the light.
Seth… No, he was never in the darkness. When one covers over, when one moves to darkness themselves because you are allowing somebody to hurt you or bother you and you say to them, “You know you hurt me.” And they say, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean it that way.” You have given them permission to do this again and again but if you clearly state, you did this and here are the reasons that it hurt me or bothered me. You have now moved from darkness into light.
Jasmine… So, the whole difference is the explanation of the why it bothers you?
Seth… The “why” is where forgiveness can be accepted. You are presenting the facts as to why someone did something to bother you. All you are saying is that hurt me, I’m so sorry and what does that mean?
Now, it is the understanding that you must gain and the ability, the key word here is and underline this and the ability to immediately underline the word immediately twice, formulate a clear and adequate response in a kind manner to allow forgiveness to occur. You have explained what hurts you. You have made sure that the other person understands why you were bothered or hurt or annoyed and then if they say, I did not realize that, please forgive me; you have now not given them permission to do it again. It is the not doing it again that forgiveness means something. Yes, Isabella?
Isabella… But how can you even go get to this place if you don’t even know that you are the victim?
Seth… If somebody says something to you that hurts or bothers you.
Isabella… No, I am talking about doesn’t say anything at all.
Seth… Then of course you don’t know.
Isabella… That’s what I mean so then so then how can you even come to this place of forgiveness.
Seth… Because if somebody does something that bothers you, you’re aware of it. Are you not?
Isabella… No, I didn’t, I was not aware that Jacob was doing what he was doing, no.
Seth… You knew that something was wrong.
Isabella… I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that there was something wrong.
Seth… Look at your actions. Your actions over the course of an innumerous time span, large time span.
Isabella… My reactions as in regards to?
Seth… Your own actions: how you perceived.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes, yes, yes.
Seth… You knew something was not correct.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And you, if you knew something was not correct what did you do about it?
Isabella… Nothing.
Seth… So, if you did nothing you covered it over, you remained in the darkness and did not understand what was going on.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… So, what do you not understand?
Isabella… Ah… how could I, but if I wasn’t aware, I didn’t know what it was that was bothering me.
Seth… But you knew something was wrong.
Isabella… So, then what was I supposed to do?
Seth… You were supposed to explore what could be wrong.
Isabella… With him?
Seth… With anyone, friends, relatives, a therapist, your parents.
Shanna… Something was bothering you inside.
Seth… Something is bothering you inside.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Is it better to keep it hidden or show it to the light of day?
Isabella… Right, I hear you.
Seth… What is your answer?
Isabella… Obviously, there is a choice.
Jasmine… So after, I’m sorry. Could you explain what bothered you and why you are hurt and the victimizer acknowledges what you’ve said, then it won’t happen again?
Seth… Then you have not given the victimizer permission to do it again. Not that it may cure the problem, but you have already made your case of this hurts me.
Stephanie… If you’ve never done that before?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay, why is saying thank you to an apology…
Seth… What does the thank you mean?
Stephanie… Well not that I would do that but… I’m just saying.
Frank… (Laughing and kidding.) Not that I’d ever do that!
Stephanie… (Laughing.) Shut up.
Seth… If somebody said to you, I’m really sorry…
Stephanie… About all the hurts you just said to me?
Seth… Right. What did it mean?
Stephanie… Okay, nothing.
Seth… So therefore, because you haven’t explained what hurt you.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… You said this bothered me, don’t do that again. Oh, I’m so sorry.
Jasmine… But you didn’t say why.
Stephanie… Okay, that’s when you don’t explain what it is.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Yeah, but can’t they figure out what it is? Like for example…
Frank… But you don’t know it.
Isabella… No, no, no.
Frank… You say, well…
Isabella… No, I’m talking about something completely different. Like just now, I was talking to George about, he was talking to me about the “me thing” and he was like, I’ll just, I’ll text you what it is. And the next thing I knew he was gone so he hung up on me. So then after he texted me the thing I wrote back, thanks and oh yeah by the way thanks for hanging up on me.
Seth… Was that in a kind and just manner? Or was that sarcastic and mean?
Isabella… (Giggled a little bit.) It was sarcastic and mean.
Seth… Then therefore you have now given him permission to do it again because you did not say why it bothered you.
Isabella… Okay so now if I call him back and I say to him, I just want you to know that it bothered me that you hung up on me and he says, oh I’m sorry.
Jasmine… You have to explain why.
Seth… Why did it bother you?
Isabella… But isn’t that self explanatory?
Seth… No, it is not self explanatory.
(There was a lot of talk among the group going back and forth.)
Isabella… But it’s mean…
Shanna… It’s so not self explanatory.
Isabella… About hanging up on you?
Seth… He may not look at it as if was something wrong.
Isabella… Oh, alright.
Jasmine… You have to figure out why it bothered you.
Seth… You’ve made an assumption…
Frank… Plus, he may not feel that he hung up on you. I didn’t hang up on you, we were done.
Isabella… He didn’t say bye!
Shanna… My husband never say’s, bye.
Isabella… Really?
Seth… What you are looking for here in the largest sense of all is for somebody to take care of you. You do realize this?
Isabella… Nooo!
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… How’s it, what, I don’t understand that, okay well then maybe I shouldn’t be mad that he hung up on me.
Seth… It’s not a question of being mad, angry, annoyed, bothered or anything else.
Isabella… What does that have anything to do with taking care of me?
Jasmine… You just think, do you think that it’s just a common courtesy not to do what he did?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… It has a larger issue in and of itself that we do not have the time or the wherewithal…
Isabella… Well, you can’t just throw that out there and…
Seth… I believe that there are others here who can explain it to…
Stephanie… I’ll explain it later.
Seth… you in a far easier manner then I would.
Stephanie… Alright, so I have a question then. If you are explaining something to the victimizer and they do not believe you…
Seth… Who says they have to?
Stephanie… Okay so they don’t agree…
Seth… But you have clearly stated your position.
Stephanie… Okay but in they are not agreeing they are not accepting responsibility.
Seth… So?
Stephanie… Then they’ll do it again.
Seth… No not necessarily because the second time they do it again you very simply say, I told you I do not like this, why did you do it again?
Jasmine… Because…
Stephanie… Em hmm, because I mean that’s, you know my father had said after this conversation, well I don’t agree but I hear what you are saying. I don’t agree though and he throws out defenses and all these other tactics.
Seth… And if he does it again you say, I told you I did not like this. Please explain to me why you did it again.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… It is your inability to follow through that keeps you in darkness. I don’t mean you as an individual necessarily, in general.
Stephanie… Right. Okay but what ends up occurring and why I would avoid it is because he bullies and attacks back.
Seth… So, when a bully… What is the best way you know to deal with a bully?
Stephanie… Well, I want to ignore him.
Seth… Oh, that will help a bully doing what?
Stephanie… Well, are you not supposed to fuel the whatever, you ignore it.
Seth… No, a bully bullies because he gets away with it. What you do is you stand up to the bully and say, you will not do this to me again because this is what is hurting me.
Stephanie… The very idea that that’s how he becomes when I bring up whatever.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Of course, he is going to up the ante.
Stephanie… Right because he wants me to shut up.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… And then when it doesn’t work…
Seth… He backs down because he has to.
Frank… You just have to keep on meeting the ante.
Stephanie… Right, see what he is going to do is, how dare you not… how dare you doubt me. How dare you put me in this position!
Frank… Right. That’s an attack and I don’t appreciate it.
Stephanie… So right then and there…
Seth… Right then and there, stop! If you hear this as an attack and that’s what you are telling me, I want you to know that bothers me and I will not listen to this. I cannot deal with this because I am not attacking you.
Stephanie… Right and so, so he is going to then yell back and that’s when I will hang up on him.
Seth… No, you are going to say this with kindness and consideration.
Stephanie… No kindness, why would I be kind?
Seth… Because he cannot hear you unless; unless you’d like to get into a shouting match which is completely reasonable for you.
Stephanie… But he can’t hear anyway, he’s busy yelling.
Seth… Once he stops yelling look at what the man through whom I speak did last night. He was being bullied.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And he very clearly said you will not do this to me. You will not yell at me. I will not stand for this.
Stephanie… I mean he’ll say to me, I’m your father and that’s not yada, yada, yada, I’m going to you know that’s not how you act…
Seth… And what does the mean?
Stephanie… to your father.
Seth… Why not?
Stephanie… That’s just what he learned. You don’t act that way to your father.
Seth… And therefore, you are going to say you will not act this way towards me because I will not accept it.
Stephanie… Em hmm. I mean like you said before in the lecture I…
Seth… This is still part of the lecture…
Stephanie… No what I am saying…
Seth… We’ve not taken a break yet.
Stephanie… I know, I’m saying that was normal for me that to respect that…
Seth… So, your knowledge is that you will respect being bullied, you will respect being victimized and I would rather put my head under a rock and allow myself to be miserable because that’s what you have done.
Jasmine… Many of us have done that.
Stephanie… Right, I mean it is the idea that you know you listen to your father. You don’t talk… I really did learn that I guess…
Seth… I’m not questioning what you learned I’m just giving you…
Stephanie… You don’t challenge your father…
Seth… It’s not a question of challenging. It is a question of saying; this is what you are doing that’s bothering me and here are the reasons why it bothers me. Now if you say this in a kind and quiet manner his yelling and bravado must cease. It must cease because he cannot hear you. When someone yells at you, when someone is angry at you, you whisper. You force them to listen.
Stephanie… Like a kid with a tantrum.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Let us continue: Obviously this is a difficult idea for each of you. If necessary, we can spend an extra session or two or three on this forgiveness idea if we need to. Are there any questions?
Stephanie… So, once you explain to the victimizer exactly what has always been bothering you and they say, okay I hear you, but I don’t agree then I can forgive them?
Seth… You can forgive them because you have not given them permission to do it again. They don’t have to agree with you.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… The object of forgiveness is to say, I know you did what you did bothered me, now you understand the reasons why it bothered me.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… You don’t have to agree with me you may have felt that you were innocent.
Stephanie… So, the forgiveness can only last as long as that the damage isn’t redone?
Seth… And if the damage is redone what is your recourse then?
Stephanie… Right so the next day the damage is redone now I am not in a forgiveness place, and I say don’t you ever do that…
Seth… I told you that you were not to do this to me again…
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… and you have. The more you continue to do this the further apart we become…
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Is that what you want?
Stephanie… Okay and then he’ll say whatever, okay I understand let’s say and then forgiveness would start again for me?
Seth… Start again and if he does it three weeks later you are going to say why are you doing it again?
Stephanie… Em hmm and I have to be very straight with what…
Seth… What is bothering you.
Stephanie… With what bothers me…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… and get reaccustomed…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… to being in touched with it because it is so routinely…
Seth… It’s so easy for any not just you or for any individual to cover it up. And that is one of the things you must all write down. It is easy for any individual to cover up that which is bothering them.
Betty… But isn’t it forgiveness when it doesn’t bother you?
Seth… No, forgiveness is not necessarily when it doesn’t bother you that would be the end of a line of study. But if I do something Betty, that hurts or bothers you…
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… and you just say, well okay, then all you’ve done is cover it over and given me permission to do it again.
Betty… Yeah, that part I understand. I’m moving more towards my understanding of forgiveness.
Seth… No, forgiveness is not when it doesn’t bother you. Forgiveness means that you have explained it fully so that the other individual has become aware of that which hurts you.
Betty… Right.
Seth… And if they do not again then of course you have succeeded.
Betty… Right but if they did do it again…
Seth… Then you repeat, I have spoken to you about this before, why are you doing it again? And then they have a very legitimate reason or not legitimate reason but at least you have opened the lines of discussion and moved from darkness into light.
Betty… Right but I guess forgiveness for me would be at some point that I just accept that this person is whatever and then it doesn’t bother me. It’s just who…
Seth… That would not occur because if every time you saw someone and they turned around and said to you, you are nothing but a slutty person (Group is beginning to laugh.) who has no idea what their job is and you are totally incompetent (More laughing.) in what you are doing. Do you think you are ever going to forgive that person no matter how many times they say this?
Betty… No, but I would get into asking them to explain where this…
Seth… And so, they explain it to you, and they keep on doing it? You’re not going to forgive them for this, and you are not going to be not bothered by this. It is the not being bothered portion that you must eliminate from your repertoire of feelings.
(There was some discussion between Isabella and Stephanie about asking the following question.)
Seth… You had one?
Isabella… So, if I were to say to you that it bothers me when you cut me off when I’m asking a question in regards to the session, the lecture but you don’t cut other people off when they jump in and ask questions. And it bothers me because I feel as though my question isn’t as important or in your opinion as somebody else’s. Now I am expressing to you why I’m bothered.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Why I felt like I was, that you made me a victim.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And now what’s the… now what?
Seth… My response to you would be that many times in our series of lectures you tend to monopolize, not on purpose because you have obvious interest to what you are saying or heard that sessions for at least for you, you would like a lot more information. Now I am not cutting you off nor am I not saying that you will not be allowed to ask your questions but there are many instances where from my research the others although the question may be close to being the same…
Isabella… It’s exactly the same.
Seth… May be close to being the same the lecture is better served at times by allowing others to speak. Not that your statements are not important to me, they are and because your statements are important to me that I do listen to you. Remember your perceptions in what is going on here are vastly delayed from my point of view. I have not to be confusing to you but since time has no relevance for me, I have already seen this lecture and done this lecture for you as an individual or anyone who sits around this table eons ago if necessary. Therefore, I am not trying to hurt you or to bother you, but you must understand that at times my research allows me to understand that the question even if identical is better served by someone else. And I am not trying to hurt you or to disturb you, but it is a fact.
Isabella… That means… okay.
Jasmine… Now can you look for forgiveness?
Isabella… No! (Stephanie laughs.) Because that, that is hurtful. I mean why would it be better served the exact same question, why would it be better served by somebody else?
Seth… It is better served…
Isabella… That makes me feel like I’m like an idiot.
Seth… No, it is better… that is the way you may take that but that is certainly…
Isabella… Well, that is exactly, I mean if it’s the exact same question why would it be better served by, if someone will ask the exact same questions?
Frank… But if I, he doesn’t answer one of my questions and then somebody else asks it in a similar way what’s the difference? You’re saying that he is specifically saying it’s only your questions that he is not going to answer.
Isabella… No, he shushes me. Like he will say to me, no and then somebody else will jump in…
Frank… I’ve been…
Isabella… at the exact same time.
Frank… And I have been shushed as well. But the fact is you ask the most questions.
Isabella… Okay.
Frank… So, there is more of an opportunity for you to be asked to hold. Often, I feel that you ask questions prematurely instead of allowing the material to unfold; that your question will be answered. You’re not as patient as you might want to be.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Frank… And so, I think at different times when it serves session it helps and it’s not…
Isabella… But if everybody else is able to get an answer to their question.
Frank… You mean today, this moment?
Isabella… Yes, and I talking about now…
Frank… But in the past in over three hundred fifty sessions, do you know how many times I’ve been told I will get to that or I will answer that later or this. (Frank made a gesture holding a hand up to indicate wait.)
Isabella… No, we all have. (Some laughter.)
Frank… So… well?
Isabella… No, I’m not saying, I’m talking specifically today. Like why it would be exactly…
Frank… Because today it was better served in terms of the material and the material is not only just for you, you know, there are five or six of us around the table. (Not to mention whoever may be reading this.)
Stephanie… And also, if there is a sense of being monopolizing not that that’s bad but if you’re always asking stuff for yourself…
Isabella… It wasn’t a question for myself.
Stephanie… No, I know, I am just saying if that happens a lot.
Isabella… But that wasn’t at all about what it was going to be.
Stephanie… I understand but in general let’s say if there is that monopolizing thing which is not bad, I’m just saying that idea maybe and if it is pertaining to you, you know maybe it will be perceived as not generalized to the whole group. So maybe people might listen differently. I mean I am just guessing; I don’t know.
Shanna… (Said something that was not clear initially as she and Stephanie were talking at the same time.) I think what happened was you were asking a question that we were all also thinking in our heads…
Stephanie… See I don’t even remember the question.
Shanna… Seth was finishing his thought then he shushed you so he could finish his thought but everybody else came out with the same question while that was happening.
Stephanie… And sometimes I think it is not a perfect whatever like I think it…
Frank… It was also mid-sentence.
Stephanie… It was mid-sentence, right.
Frank… You’re asking a question when there was like going to be five more words left.
Isabella… Yeah.
Frank… You’re asking your question before he finishes.
Isabella… He stopped. He went like this (Showing a gesture.) I started to ask, he stopped me and Stephanie jumped in and he wasn’t even done talking either! And then Jasmine jumped in with the exact question.
Shanna… Right well, that’s what happened.
Isabella… That’s what happened today.
Frank… Well, they should have been shushed too! Damn-it!
Isabella… Well, no, I am just saying like why was it okay for them to jump in while he was in mid-sentence and he answered that and then he went into a whole thing?
Stephanie… My question actually wasn’t, I wanted to understand what he just said. It wasn’t a question, separate. It was in addition to what he was just saying.
Isabella… Yeah, but that’s exactly what mine was.
Stephanie… Ay…
Frank… And do you understand that it also speaks to the idea of being taken care of?
Isabella… I was just talking specifically in relationship to today about why I, he said if you feel like you were victimized that you should open the door and ask your questions, so I asked my question how does that have anything to do with me being taken care of? I was curious why it was okay for them to jump in and ask their question when it wasn’t okay for me? That doesn’t have anything to do with me being taken care of. I’m curious that is why I asked. It has nothing to do with me being taken care of.
Stephanie… Alright you got your answer, and you don’t like it.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Yes, is it true because we are so used to covering over and usually, I would say for most people years and years are there many times… are there times where the individual is not aware of the cover when they are being victimized?
Seth… You like percentages.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Ninety-nine-point nine percent of the individuals cover it over and are never aware of the problem.
Stephanie… Okay so my concern and question is in relationship of that…
Frank… You serious about that (Percentage)?
Seth… How many people when something occurs that they do not like and say well! And they…
Frank… And that’s been a major modality of mine.
Stephanie… Alright, so my concern with that is the obvious ones I guess I will recognize. I’m concerned about all the victimizations that will occur that I am going to allow…
Seth… The more you become use to getting to the root of the darkness…
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… the more you will be able to recognize that which disturbs you.
Stephanie… Because it could be everything.
Seth… And it probably will be for awhile. It is the same idea that Isabella has when she talks to me and believes that I am making a victim out of her. I would appreciate that more when she learns to understand and states this routinely, not only to myself but to everyone and when she gets use to the idea of stating this it will occur to her that perhaps she may be underreacting to certain situations or overreacting or not being sensitive enough or becoming more sensitive than she would be to any specific area of difficulty. You cannot be aware because your viewpoints, your egocentric notion of the physical plane is limited in and of itself. You cannot be aware of everything because that is ridiculous. But what you can become aware of is the routine of stating, I’m not comfortable, that is bothering me, that hurts me. And when you become aware of that and learn to handle the injustice if you will, in a fair and just manner, then you are able to move from darkness to light and learn to forgive the other individual. You do not have to agree with them, you have to understand, and you have made your case in a fair and just manner. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, I do but you know I’m still concerned that from this point forward because I have opened a whole can of worms here and he’s angry about it because he doesn’t like anyone to point a finger at him that he is going to then because he is all about himself want to belittle what I have presented…
Seth… And if he does and you clearly state your position, he can accept it or reject it. That is not your concern. Your concern is you. You are trying to determine how he will react. My concern and the purpose of this lecture in asking and telling you about forgiveness is for you to understand where forgiveness starts.
Stephanie… No, but it starts with me being aware of what’s bothering me.
Seth… Correct. It doesn’t mean anything else other than that. Stop! That’s it. (Forgiveness starts with what is bothering one. Such an important point! F.N.)
Stephanie… Right. So then as soon as I recognize it if he’s refusing to accept and continues to try and fight his case…
Seth… Why are you doing this? You know that this has already been stated that it bothers me.
Stephanie… Right and if it continues I could, I would stop talking to him.
Seth… You say, I cannot go on with this idea because you’re not at least giving me the courtesy of paying attention to what I have said. When you can I would like to continue this discussion with you.
Stephanie… Verses talking to him at all.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Now, I have a question. This is sort of in isolation of a series of action and reaction but isn’t it most often both individuals often victimizing the other at the same time and glossing over at the same time?
Seth… Isn’t that what I stated earlier? If you do something that bothers me and I start yelling at you, what are you going to do?
Frank… If I start yelling at you now, you are victimizing me and I’m victimizing you.
Seth… I’m becoming defensive and I’m yelling at you, you’re trying to get your point across, I’m not listening to you, I’m trying to get my point across, you’re not listening to me, we both get nowhere.
Frank… So, the very first step for one of those individuals…
Seth… No, the first step is when you do something that bothers me is to immediately stop and say, excuse me that bothered me and here are the reasons why.
Frank… As opposed to yelling at the person.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… So, you don’t even go there.
Seth… Just as the man through whom I speak turns to Kaetorina’s father and says, why are you yelling at me? And he had no good answer. And since he had no good answer, he had to quiet down. And the second time it happened the man through whom I speak said, you’re still yelling at me why are you doing this? I cannot speak to you if you yell at me and so he quieted down. And even the second and third time for the same reason. It is the immediate cessation of that which is hurting you is to put a stop to it and explain the reason why. Because if you do not, why would they stop? You understand?
Frank… I do.
Seth… I am not saying this is easy because it goes against that which you routinely do.
Frank… Ah… in couples’ therapy and this happens often any suggestions in terms of stop, you know getting the referee getting them to stop?
Seth… Obviously, the object here is to stop. If you and I are having an argument someone must say stop the argument. Now if we are stopping the argument, would you please explain your side and then you have the other person say, what did you hear? Please explain to me what you heard. Fine, now tell that person what your response is. What did you hear this person say? So now they don’t have to agree with each other but what they have to do is learn to listen to each other. The problem with language is that it has so many different variables, it is one of the worst forms of communication.
Are there any other questions?
Most individuals move through darkness. They do not have the wherewithal to confront that which they need. And since they cannot confront that which they need their wants are magnified. When the light of reason is appliedand then their frustration with what they do not have becomes magnified, their wants increase and their ability to reason and to understand diminishes. One must learn to confront that which bothers them to shed light even in the darkest hours of despair. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here again. We have been dealing with the idea of change and we shall continue along those lines. Might as well put the number there, 349. Now, in dealing with change one must understand that each one of you needs to feel good about themselves. In other words, you must love self. When and if you can imagine at whatever point of reference you are at you are not content. (The idea of learning to love self has been stressed over and over again by Seth and is absolutely necessary for change to occur.)
Isabella… With whatever point of reference?
Seth… You are not content at whatever. The idea here is that when you are not content change is mandatory. Most individuals unfortunately believe that they are making changes.
Now, in dealing with change one must understand that each one of you needs to feel good about themselves. In other words, you must love self. When and if you can imagine at whatever point of reference you are at you are not content. The idea here is that when you are not content change is mandatory. Most individuals unfortunately believe that they are making changes when in fact they are in reality doing nothing more than preserving the status quo. Yes Jasmine, you agree with that?
Jasmine… No, I said not me… I’m making changes.
Seth… You are making some changes at this point of reference but for the past oh, let us be kind and say a few decades one has believed that they have been working upon a subject…
Jasmine… No, I don’t agree… I completely agree that I have not been working at all.
Seth… Do you know why?
Jasmine… I thought I was working but…
Seth… I’m not questioning that you were trying in good faith. That is not the issue here.
Jasmine… I wasn’t ready to.
Seth… That wasn’t even the issue here at all because you truly believed you were making changes. (Jasmine said something about a small change but was whispering.) What the difficulty with most individuals is in the idea that they are truly focused upon that which dissatisfies them… (Frank sighed audibly.) Yes Frank?
Frank… It’s like, Oh, so that’s it! (Laughed.)
Isabella… Wait I don’t…
Seth… I think we better stop and take a few questions here.
Isabella… Yes, I have a question. First…
Seth… No let us…
Jasmine… Can you just say the language straight here? The trouble with most individuals with the idea that they are truly focused upon that which dissatisfies them. The trouble with most individuals is that?
Isabella… Is in the idea.
Jasmine… is in the idea that they are truly focused upon that which dissatisfies them, so in other words then they are constantly thinking about what they are unhappy about rather than what is good.
Frank… The point is you get what you focus on.
Seth… Correct. Go ahead, you have a question, Frank.
Frank… No, I don’t. That is it.
Stephanie… What’s it?
Frank… The idea of staying focused on, oh this won’t change, or I don’t like this and you just stay there instead of thinking about what is the alternative; what would I like to be doing and then just doing it.
Isabella… Well, what if you don’t know that you are unhappy?
Seth… I have never in my years, and I have a few more under my belt than you, have ever met an individual who did not know that they were not happy.
Isabella… Okay but what if they didn’t know what they were unhappy about?
Seth… That is not the same issue.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… That is a vastly different question.
Isabella… Well, I am asking that question.
Seth… Individuals routinely and one of the reasons why change must be contemplated…
Isabella… Right, so do you think that was the issue with my ex-husband? I mean do you think there was an unconscious part of me that was dissatisfied?
Seth… Well let me ask you a number of questions. Were you always looking out for other green pastures?
Isabella… Definitely.
Seth… Were you satisfied then?
Isabella… Apparently not.
Seth… Then let us move along.
Isabella… But then so why was I… then why would I always say that there was nothing wrong, that he was great, he was perfect, why would I have went there?
Seth… I believe that you can go ahead and at any point of reference ask Jasmine why many years ago she would tell the man through whom I speak and anyone else for that matter, that her parents were absolutely the best parents in the world, there was absolutely nothing wrong with them and everyone should be modeled just exactly like her parents were.
Isabella… Really?
Jasmine… Yup.
Isabella… That’s scary. (Stephanie laughs.) So, what is that? Just a blockage that you don’t want to look at what it is?
Seth… It is more than just a blockage.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… When you are dissatisfied, unhappy, it is far easier as I have previously stated to maintain the illusion then it is to repair self. One must need to repair self by first focusing upon, you must first focus upon your core belief issues, that which you are made up of. What defines you as an individual on any given subject? Now, the problem with that question is simply this: If I was to ask you on any specific subject what defines you, none of you would be able to illicit a factual answer since you do not comprehend the question. And you don’t comprehend the question because you are dissatisfied with that idea.
Jasmine… What idea?
Seth… Of what the problem would be.
Stephanie… Wouldn’t that be like trust for me?
Seth… That would be. If I ask you to define trust, can you do that?
Stephanie… Well, when you say…
Seth… What is your core belief on trust?
Stephanie… Right. That I don’t trust.
Seth… That doesn’t mean anything.
Stephanie… My core belief on trust is that it doesn’t exist. (Laughter.)
Seth… No, that is the outgrowth of the core belief. That is not…
Stephanie… If you were to ask me what defines you, I would say my difficulty with trust.
Seth… But that is not an answer. What… If you were having a problem with trust, what is your core belief about trust?
Isabella… That it’s hurt you in the past.
Stephanie… My core belief that that…
Seth… That’s an outgrowth, that is not the core belief. I am not going to tell her, obviously.
Stephanie… Trusting is foolhardy.
Seth… That again is an outgrowth of the true core belief system. You cannot make an effective change without reaching further back then the immediate outgrowth of a difficulty. If I was to ask our friend Frank, why does he find it necessary to go ahead and examine and reexamine everything routinely? What would his core belief answer belief be?
Frank… Because I am afraid of… um, emotions…
Seth… That’s an outgrowth. That is not the core belief system.
Frank… Life… life is scary.
Seth… Again, an outgrowth and I will not have to continue on with this. These are difficulties in examining your belief systems. They are so camouflaged or overlaid with secondary and tertiary ideas and meanings and feelings.
Frank… Can you give me an example of getting to the core of something?
Seth… Once you have established a question one must then start to pick away at an idea. In other words, if we were going to use you for an example, if we know that you have a problem with overanalyzing, one may then say, well one of the ideas that I must start looking at is the fact that if I am over analyzing that means I do not understand what is going on. And I do want to accept that which I understand since there may be something I am missing. So that’s one of the overlays that you would have to use in determining what that belief system factually is for you.
Jasmine, you have a problem?
Jasmine… No, I am trying to understand what you are saying.
Seth… Well, let me put it into a term that you can understand. You have a core belief system or an outgrowth thereof of the idea that you grab negative ideas, and you hold them within yourself. You would agree with this?
Jasmine… Yes, I must hold on to them…
Seth… You must hold on to them.
Jasmine… like a lifeline for some reason.
Seth… Right. Now, first of all you can first start examining the idea that you were taught this, and you certainly were.
Jasmine… I saw that.
Seth… Now you may examine the outgrowth of that. The underneath portion of that that caused that. You have already determined that the withdrawal, the removal of affection and love caused the need… need (Emphasized.) not want but need to feel appreciated and make yourself into a beautiful and loving person. You feel a need for that. Do you understand so far?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… But the question arises again, what is underneath that and is the removal of layers of camouflage, layers of a systemic nature that each individual lays down that cause most individuals to truly believe they are making changes when in fact all they are doing is studying the outgrowth of an idea.
Isabella… But wouldn’t it be…
Seth… When…
Betty… Doesn’t everything boil down to acceptance of self?
Seth… No.
Isabella… That’s exactly what I was thinking!
Seth… No. Acceptance of self is a standard routine answer which in this instance means nothing. You may accept yourself as being overweight, you may accept yourself as being lazy, you may accept yourself for whatever you define that as. But that is not the answer here.
Isabella… But maybe not acceptance but how you feel about yourself.
Seth… Feelings can be positive or negative, that’s still not the issue here.
Isabella… So then if you are talking about your core belief system, isn’t it your core believe system about yourself?
Seth… It is about self, but it is how you define yourself on a specific topic or subject. For example, you have many, not just you; all individuals have many different core belief systems. How do you define self in terms of being a dutiful daughter? How do you define yourself as being an effective teacher? Do you understand? You define yourself…
Isabella… In many different ways.
Seth… in many ways all of which are factual. The question arises…
Isabella… They are all related into some core?
Seth… No, your core beliefs are on many different individual ideas or subjects. Write that down, you have many different… core belief systems on many ideas and subjects.
Isabella… Like I might feel one way about myself as a teacher and then I might feel another way about myself as an independent woman.
Seth… Correct and you define yourself differently. Behavior that is appropriate in a classroom would be woefully inadequate in social situations.
Isabella… Absolutely.
Jasmine… So, when you said in the example of belief systems, they are so camouflaged and overlaid with feeling that you really can’t get to your core beliefs.
Seth… Correct. You have feelings about ideas, for example if I was to ask you to look at your feelings in terms of your parents let’s say. You have certain belief systems and feelings about them. Do you not?
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Yet those feelings camouflage that which you need to look at so that you may effectively make changes. In other words, let me give you a good example of how to look at feelings and thoughts and changes. If one were to look at a very young child, they are completely open. They will tell you when they are happy or sad. They will describe their feelings about foods, clothing, the weather or whatever you would choose to look at. As one gets older one then digresses from the simplistic idea of being truly open to the complex idea of an adult whose true identity has been camouflaged by all that which surrounds them.
Stephanie… So now what is your point? Are you stating that the camouflage…
Seth… What is my point, go ahead.
Stephanie… gets you away from the core beliefs?
Seth… Prevents you from understanding what the core belief is.
Stephanie… For me the trust is I don’t trust!
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… That’s my core belief.
Seth… Neither does the man through whom I speak.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… And we have been working diligently on peeling the way that which you have camouflaged. For example, I assigned both of you and you have done a fairly credible job in looking at ten different ideas of trust.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you see how that starts to break down the idea of that which you believe is the problem to what some of the real problems are?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And once those are dealt with you will get down to the nature of that which you can either accept or reject or change.
Stephanie… Which is what?
Isabella… So, it’s her core belief that doesn’t trust?
Seth… No that is an outgrowth of what has gone on that influences her.
Isabella… Now if her core belief is not, I don’t trust, that’s not the core belief?
Seth… That is an outgrowth. She does not.
Isabella… Right but that’s not the core belief?
Seth… The question is why does she do that?
Isabella… Right, I understand that.
Seth… That is the “Why?” with a big capital W and a very large question mark.
Jasmine… So maybe the core belief would be that the world is not a safe place?
Seth… It may very well be.
Isabella… So, in my case my core belief about independence would be that I don’t know how to take care of myself?
Seth… Not that you do not know how to take care of yourself, it is the fact that you would choose to be taken care of.
Isabella… Okay. So, but that’s not my core belief?
Seth… No.
Isabella… That’s just an outgrowth of the core belief.
Seth… It is an outgrowth.
Isabella… That I am incapable of doing things on my own.
Seth… That is an outgrowth.
Jasmine… That’s still an outgrowth.
Isabella… So then, see that is what I don’t understand.
Seth… You have to strip away.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Think of a very cold night and what you have here is a house without heat.
Isabella… Sleep with layers and layers.
Seth… So, what you do is you first decide I think I cannot sleep in the nude.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… So, I am going to get into pajamas. They weren’t heavy enough, so I am going to put on a sweat suit over my pajamas.
Isabella… I, I understand that.
Seth… No, let me finish please.
Isabella… Alright.
Seth… And then you add a blanket layer but camouflaging the fact that you are first…
Isabella… Nude.
Seth… nude.
Isabella… I understand.
Seth… It is the nakedness that is the problem.
Isabella… Right, I understand so now how do you get back to what the core is. Like how do I figure out why I didn’t, why I don’t trust myself to take care of me?
Seth… Because…
Isabella… Like how do you get there?
Seth… You would first of all start to need in my example for you, you would start questioning, I have three blankets on me. Why did I add the third? Why did I require a third blanket? Why didn’t I call the repair man for the furnace to fix the furnace so I would have heat so that I would not have needed the third blanket? Which had nothing to do with what you believe was the situation. In other words, you were naked, but I told you the house had no heat. Wouldn’t the logical method have been first of all to determine why the house had no heat? That is the difficulty.
Isabella… Right so the core would be why do I feel that I can’t take care of myself?
Seth… No, that is not your core belief.
Isabella… That is the question to help me find, figure out what the core belief is?
Seth… Correct. The core belief in the situation I described.
Isabella… I know I am having difficulty making the connection between the metaphor.
Seth… No, the metaphor will give you a sense of direction. I am not going to answer the personality here since that would take away your freedom of choice and free will. If you understand that the true core belief and the situation I described with the house with no heat, correct?
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Would be why do I not call the repair man for the furnace?
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You didn’t, you first of all put on a light pair of pajamas.
Isabella… So, I choose to not do what’s right? Or what was…
Seth… You choose to camouflage…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… the real problem because it is easier than to try and fix the problem…
Isabella… (Isabella talking at the same time.) So, the real problem, the real problem was the heat and not necessarily about, about putting more layers on.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… I get that.
Seth… Right.
Isabella… One hundred percent I understand that. What I am having difficulty understanding is so it’s my, one of my issues is this independence piece which I am starting to strip away the layers and to see why this has happened to me over the course of time. I don’t understand what my core belief is, that I don’t believe in myself? I, I…
Seth… You will have to discover that for yourself. That is what I told you, why the ideas that I was giving you will help you learn.
Isabella… Oh, it just doesn’t make sense to me. But I believe that core belief is that what I learned and watched as being modeled for me.
Seth… Let me give you this: When one feels love you then tend to become open. Now feeling love has many definitions. You may feel loved by self, by others in any numerous numbers of ways. But when you feel love you may then open yourself, (said again slowly), you may then open yourself to the challenges and opportunities that the physical plane will allow you to have. That the physical plane will allow you to have. Many sessions ago I described the idea that a person who is evil, vile, is mean may in reality be having the most marvelous time with his current incarnation.
Jasmine… That’s successful?
Seth… Highly successful yet the person who is kind, who is gentle, who is giving may be doing so at their own expense and may have to relearn the idea of saying no. And in each case the idea of their ability to change is called into question. Why do individuals, why do individuals allow themselves the luxury of saying yes when no is more profitable? It may certainly be fear, Kaetorina. It may certainly be stupidity…
Jasmine… Or guilt.
Seth… it may be guilt. All these answers are possible, and it matters not which one of them was correct.
Isabella… So, will the universe provide…
Seth… Constant repetition.
Isabella… That and also the opportunity to learn, like in the case with Jacob, obviously this issue with independence and being able to care for myself has been repeated over and over again. So obviously his leaving was extremely vital for my growth and development as an individual, as an independent person, so was that planned? Like had the universe provided that because I needed that at the time, like it was mandatory then?
Seth… There is nothing that is mandatory. What you must learn in this instance just as Kaetorina has to learn, do not hold onto the past. That which has occurred is just as easily changed as the future. When one holds on to what one believes happened and one is so consumed by the idea, the universe provided me with this opportunity I didn’t take it, the universe provided me with that opportunity, and I missed it and all you are doing is dwelling…
Isabella… On the missing.
Seth… on the wanting of something…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… instead of grasping the idea it doesn’t matter what happened then, it is what am I going to do now.
Isabella… Well, the only reason I am asking that question is because…
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… I do and I guess I am asking because for some reason I am so much happier now than I have been in the last twenty-seven years of my life.
Seth… Do you not wish to look at the ideas of what systems have changed for you and when you deal with this in terms of your own individual psyche, your own ego if you will…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… then one will start to open and broaden their perspective of what was beneficial and what was not just as Jasmine has to leave go of what she feels for others and concentrate on self. Arthur has similar problems where he must learn to stop dwelling in the past of what was and promote his own future.
Isabella… I just mean like I feel that after the breakup of my marriage something within me has obviously changed but I feel the most comfortable in my skin. I feel the most like me for some bizarre reason I feel me. I feel like I’m me.
Seth… Are you not more in touch with self?
Isabella… Definitely.
Seth… Then you have your answer.
Isabella… But it is a bizarre feeling because I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way.
Seth… Oh, you certainly have when you were a child. You were open, you were straightforward. Children are perfect examples of how to be open, how not to fear.
Isabella… But I feel that way. I feel like I am so not afraid of anything now. It’s like I feel like I am okay, I have such faith in the universe because of this experience…
Seth… Please do not do that. You must have faith in self. The universe is a machine that will grant you opportunities. It has an unlimited supply of that which you create.
Isabella… Right, a…
Seth… You are the creative force.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… That which you create you will have.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… That which you want you will not have.
Isabella… But I just, I don’t feel like I have fears like I did in the past like you know… I just feel like I was living under the shadow and…
Seth… Could be because you placed yourself there; you placed yourself in a position of saying please care for me.
Isabella… But I don’t…
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question.
Isabella… So, is that it? Is that the piece that is changing?
Seth… Of course, it’s changing.
Isabella… I mean is that the piece that I am like wow I’m different. I don’t need anybody.
Seth… Let me ask you a question. I am having you do an exercise, have I not?
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… How do you feel about that exercise?
Isabella… Frigging fantastic.
Seth… What has changed?
Isabella… The appreciation of it.
Seth… One that, besides that, that’s obvious.
Isabella… That I just don’t do it because I have to do it. I do it because I want to do it.
Seth… That’s correct and because it is wonderful to have other people appreciate you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… I believe that you are starting to learn a lesson.
(Isabella spoke at length about her divorce and that despite it being very difficult she is now in a positive place.)
Seth… From every line of study and we have talked about lines of study, you may look at the positive nature of a line of study. You may look at a negative portion of the same line of study and all individuals routinely do this. You cannot appreciate a negative line without knowing what the positive line was and the reverse is always true. Do you understand?
Isabella… Yeah, like I am hearing a lot of people from work say you have the worst four years you know of anyone I’ve ever met. It’s been such a challenging four years. You are such a strong girl. I don’t understand how you are possibly still standing after what you have been through with work and home. And I am thinking to myself, that’s not bad. You know that’s my opinion of it but I, am I wrong? I feel like I am questioning myself because I am listening to what other people are saying.
Seth… As you are changing now…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… your past changes. Do you see how that works?
Isabella… Yeah, because (speaking very fast) it’s almost…
Seth… Excuse me, excuse me.
Isabella… like the tenured thing didn’t happen.
Seth… That is correct.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Remember how important it was?
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Is it important now?
Isabella… No.
Seth… I believe you’ve changed your past.
Stephanie… Then your core belief changes?
Seth… No, core belief on any subject is what it is.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… The sec…
Jasmine… But if the core belief is wrong?
Seth… Your core belief, it is not a question of right or wrong. The core belief is what it is, for example is that a light?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… That’s a core belief. That’s the simplest way I can put it to you. Now, you may not like that light bulb. You may choose to go ahead to say it’s too weak or too strong, I don’t like the shape of it. So, you may change the core belief by putting in a different bulb. Do you understand?
Stephanie… So how would you transfer that to a personality trait?
Seth… Personality trait was described here by Isabella. She needed or required to have somebody have her in an area where they cared for her.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Did you listen to the conversation?
Stephanie… Yes, I’m just saying the core belief is that is not a light.
Seth… That light is the core belief in general.
Stephanie… You believe that’s a light?
Seth… Correct but you may not like the core belief. You may decide to change it. I don’t like a frosted light. I like a clear bulb.
Jasmine… But some core beliefs are negative core beliefs.
Seth… No, some core beliefs are not satisfactory at any given point of reference.
Isabella… You come into each incarnation with core beliefs, or do they develop as you develop.
Seth… They develop as you develop.
Isabella… You don’t come here…
Seth… You have a basic systemic plan.
Isabella… Right, of how your life is going to go and what issues are going to…
Seth… Nothing is written in stone.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, you pick something here, you pick something here, you pick something here and it’s what that picking is at first that determines well I think this, or I don’t think that, or I would like this, or I would want that. Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… That is the original core belief and then you overlay it with areas, and you hide it like in fog.
Isabella… So, it’s probably then, I mean you probably choose your core beliefs when you are a child.
Seth… Do you remember the… you may have picked up a core belief last week.
Isabella… I’m having a hard time with that.
Seth… You must remember as I gave you the story of the house.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… The core belief was not the fact that you were cold or naked which is what you thought. The core belief was why do I not repair the furnace? That was the difficulty so until you came to that conclusion adding the layers although you may have been warmed it never solved the problem. That is why I said in the beginning portion of tonight’s lecture that most people delude themselves into believing that they are making changes.
Isabella… But they are not asking why did I not fix the furnace?
Seth… Correct which is what is being in the questions, why am I cold?
Isabella… Why am I… Is the core, why am I cold?
Seth… No, the core is (Isabella saying at the same time.) why didn’t I fix the furnace? And you said well, I am cold, so I am going to put on some clothing.
Stephanie… Oh, you didn’t look at the clothing.
Seth… You never looked at the real core belief.
Stephanie… And is it always in a question?
Seth… I’m using that as an example.
Isabella… So, would the core belief there be that you were lazy?
Seth… The core belief there is why do I not fix the furnace? That is the core belief in the story of the house.
Isabella… It’s almost like an avoidance. It’s almost like an avoidance.
Seth… It’s not an avoidance, it is an idea that is so enmeshed in your ego that you don’t see it and you cover it over with numerous layers.
Frank… So, it is not necessarily a defense or often it is a defense?
Seth… It often is but not necessarily.
Frank… Not if you just didn’t get it, like I didn’t get that there was no heat, I just thought it was cold.
Seth… Correct, where there was not anything seen.
Frank… It wasn’t that I wasn’t facing this, I just didn’t get it.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, my core belief problem isn’t about trust?
Seth… I’m not going to answer that question!
Stephanie… No, but I’m just saying so it is something other than trust? Is it trust?
Seth… The idea of trust may be a portion of your core belief, but it may have nothing to do with trust.
Stephanie… The core belief, that the trust is an outgrowth of…
Seth… May be an outgrowth of something else, a core belief that you have been working on for numerous lifetimes.
Stephanie… Like, like, like, every, that life always ends up in disaster.
Seth… That may be.
Stephanie… Oh! And then trust…
Seth… Comes from that.
Jasmine… Like I said that before the world is a bad place.
Seth… That is a good example. In this instance it is not correct for you but that’s certainly right.
Isabella… Or that love for instance is shown by someone taking care of me.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… That would be considered a core belief?
Seth… No, not in your instance.
Isabella… Damn, thought I was on to it.
Seth… Let us take a break:
Seth… So, let us continue. Obviously, this subject of Change is going to take quite awhile before you learn to make that change if you will. I believe at this point the easiest thing for all of you is for me to say, are there any questions?
Isabella… Yeah, I was, I had a question regarding the core belief thing. I mean I have other questions, but I figure we would get to that. Can your core belief be a positive statement? Like what I was saying to Kaetorina/Stephanie that like her core belief is that trust is vital to survival or whatever and then she has created challenges in her life that would prevent her from trusting. So, she has to kind of learn from those experiences in order to get back to that trust is vital.
Seth… A core belief may be positive, may be negative, it may be a simple statement. There is no defining attribute that one may use to say well this is what all core beliefs are; this is what all core beliefs are not. It just depends upon what you as the individual have defined a belief system around something.
Jasmine… That’s not what she is asking. She is asking could you then set up positives too?
Seth… It depends upon what, I understood the question completely. The question here is not how you set up. It’s what you define and how you give the essence of the core belief to your self. If you are setting up a positive attribute you may choose to give yourself opportunities to see only the positive. If you set up something that’s positive you may give yourself the idea of negativity as viewed from the positive. There is no one good way to define any of this.
Jasmine… What is the point of that? Why…
Seth… What is your relationship to? You are all working on relationship issues. You are all of that age group, some are more advanced slightly some are less advanced, it matters not. But you are all dealing with relationship issues and since you all are dealing with relationship issues (the question is) is what is my relationship to? And then whatever you choose to study you will.
Isabella… And that’s the core belief?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Oh.
Seth… That is the basic plan that you are setting out to do. Remember, you enter an incarnation with an idea of what you would like to accomplish. That is all one can say, I would like to. Along the way there are signposts if you will; that you will be able to pick up a friend, a husband, a wife, a compatriot. (Seth has explained that when developing a blueprint for one’s incarnation there are numerous signposts set up to give one a sense of direction much like a traffic sign. These signposts can often be previously agreed upon individuals who come into your life that can further whatever one would like to study. Of course, one does not have to follow a signpost because there is freewill. One may take a side trip if it interests them and perhaps return at a later point.) You will look at, oh, I would like to try this job or what is my relationship to that? You have many relationship issues in terms of what is my relationship to and you may add in whatever you would choose to do so. So, in terms of a core belief system at certain specific soul ages and whatever steps you are on those core belief systems, even if you were asking the exact same questions would be different depending upon what soul age and what step you’re at. In other words, a soul who is on step seven is putting all the other six levels together and combining them so that they may pick apart that which interests them. A soul on step two is defining others so even if those two individuals were asked the same exact question their core belief system would be different since they define themselves differently than other individuals do. Do you understand? (There are seven soul ages involved in our journey to rejoin The All There Is called a Grand Cycle. The five soul ages that we go through when we incarnate are Infant Soul where we study survival on the physical plane, Baby Soul where we study fitting in and civilization building, Young Soul where we study power and bringing to ourselves many of the things the physical plane provides, Mature Soul where we study our relationship to others, things and ideas and Old Soul where we study things from a higher level. The seven steps within a Soul Age are the study of 1) What Self is, 2) What Self is not, 3) What Other is, 4) What Other is not, 5) What Self and Others together are, 6) What Self and Others are not and how they relate to one another, 7) Putting all the previous 6 steps together to better understand that soul age.)
Isabella… Well, I think that’s even true in life.
Seth… But that is obvious, that is not something…
Isabella… Right, right, well I think that that is kind of the same thing that of course a soul on level seven is going to feel differently than a soul on level two. Obviously experience over the course of centuries is going to obviously affect level seven. Okay, I’ll ask my questions later about something else.
Stephanie… When you talk about lines of study, each line of study has its own core belief? Is that correct?
Seth… Correct and within that line of study you can have innumerable numbers of core beliefs.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Not just one because for example if you had an idea of a line of study, I’m going to learn to like reading. You may have core belief about reading certain types of things as compared to other things. You understand?
Stephanie… Right. So, when you make the statement, when all of your questions have been asked and answered, your core belief has then been resolved.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… That’s how you know when you’ve reached core…
Seth… No, that’s when you know your line of study is over.
Stephanie… Right.
Isabella… With the dependency, it’s because it is starting to come to its end.
Stephanie… So that’s because that’s when you get the true realization of what your core belief was?
Seth… That’s when all of your questions have been asked and answered. You have striped away…
Stephanie… All the layers…
Seth… that which has bothered you. And remember that when you end your incarnation with an unfinished line of study you may finish it; you will excuse the expression, upstairs.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… You may come back and have an incarnation on it such as you have for a number of lifetimes.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right.
Frank… So, if you strip something away…
Seth… So, if you strip something away, go ahead.
Frank… How does one know when they are at core?
Seth… When all questions have been asked and answered, when you feel satisfied and have achieved balance.
Frank… No, that’s when you know you are done with a line of study. How do you know you…
Seth… When you are done with your core belief. When you have achieved a core belief answer that is satisfactory to you, all of your questions have been asked and answered.
Frank… What’s the difference between understanding an outcropping and having reached something that is a core belief?
Seth… Because when you understand outcropping there is still else that is going on. There is an overlay.
Jasmine… You are not at the core belief?
Seth… You haven’t reached the end and you’ll know that.
Frank… Maybe not right away or you delude yourself.
Seth… When you still deny; you will still find similar things happening around you.
Frank… Things will just repeat.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Specifically, you don’t, one does not know their core belief until they are right about to have all their answers, questions asked and answered?
Seth… All their questions have been asked and answered.
Stephanie… It’s really at that point when they realized…
Seth… Think of a circle…
Stephanie… what the core belief was.
Seth… Think of a circle, when that circle is fully closed that which was inside is understandable that which is outside matters not.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… The second the circle is opened there is an interchange that is going on from the outside to the inside, from the inside to the outside and so until you can bring this circle back to closing to end it, there are more questions.
Jasmine… When all questions have been asked and answered, the person has resolved their core beliefs?
Seth… On that specific subject or within a soul age and then you move along to the next step or next soul age.
Jasmine…And that line of study is closed?
Seth… It’s closed.
Stephanie… So, if I’m working on trust, I don’t really know then what my core belief is.
Seth… You may not know; you may be very well aware of it. It does not matter. Do not become enmeshed in the idea of what is exactly my core belief.
Stephanie… Because it doesn’t matter.
Seth… Until you get to the end of it and say, oh I understood that now.
Stephanie… Because then why are you making such a big deal on it? (Frank laughs loudly.)
Seth… Because individuals believe that they are changing when in reality they are maintaining the status quo.
Stephanie… They are maintaining the layers?
Seth… They are maintaining the layers.
Isabella… They’re just adding on extra layers.
Seth… Correct. They’ve added on another layer, I’m satisfied.
Isabella… Right.
Jasmine… They’ve added on a layer!
Seth… Sure, if you…
Jasmine… Added on another camouflage layer!
Seth… Absolutely.
Jasmine… And they think they’ve changed?
Seth… Did you not do this in terms of your belief systems with your mother and sister? At one point until very recently you believed that things were a certain way and then when things started to repeat themselves that made you dissatisfied and reopen old wounds you then realized that things weren’t as what you hoped they were. So, what you did was put on a layer of this much better then when it wasn’t you striped it away and said, I know I am still back here I have to strip that layer away. And then you are starting to do that. Do you understand? It’s easier to maintain something that is hidden than it is to find it. The idea of a treasure hunt, look at this as the largest treasure hunt in the world.
Jasmine… I’m confused about this. I thought that you said just now, when you add layer of camouflage you think you made a change.
Seth… Many people do.
Jasmine… But they haven’t.
Seth… That’s correct.
Stephanie… Like you’ll say, I’m okay with this now. I’m dealing fine with my mother and Tanya then all of sudden something happens, and your mother says something to Tanya and you’re all pissed off on the phone, you hear something and because you’re all pissed off, are you really okay with it? Like that.
Seth… Let me give you a good example of a change that was effective for you.
Jasmine… When you add a layer, you think you are changing.
Seth… Let me give you an example that will be profitable for you, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… I believe that you received a telephone call today.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… How did you receive that telephone call? What were your feelings on that telephone call from your mother?
Jasmine… I had called her. I was prepared; I knew what she was going to say basically.
Seth… How were your feelings? Answer my question, if possible please, when she told you it was what?
Jasmine… Ah, I forgot the words exactly. I’m still on a high she said.
Seth… How did you feel about that? When she said she was still on a high?
Jasmine… I wasn’t really upset.
Seth… That’s correct, you were not upset.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… You were not bothered at all; in fact, you were laughing about it.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Because you could predict that which would occur.
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… So, in that one small instance…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… you stripped away huge amounts of camouflage…
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… and got down to the idea that it does not matter. Did it?
Jasmine… That I didn’t go?
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… Not at all. I mean you are right.
Seth… So, and therefore if you then extend that knowledge one step further you will then be able to promote self with your sister and your mother in slightly different ways
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Seth… And so that will be another change you will be able to make.
Stephanie… You maybe will stand up to your mother differently.
Jasmine… So, it’s only the stripping away of the camouflage that is when you add a layer you think you’ve changed.
Seth… Correct but you in reality maintain the status quo. Does this make sense to you now?
Jasmine… Yeah, the example you gave was when you think you, you’ve added a layer and you think you made a change is what?
Stephanie… When you think is fine and then something happens on the phone, and you get all upset. Like had you not made this change that would have happened on the phone with, “Oh, you know I’m on a high,” you would have been upset.
Jasmine… Yeah, I would have felt like…
Seth… You would have said, why didn’t I go? I could have accomplished this the next day, but how did you feel about yourself and your point of power?
Jasmine… Felt great.
Seth… I believe you will excuse the expression, Seth one, Jasmine zero.
Isabella… I have a question. I’m having a, I feel like I am having a little bit of a, I don’t want to say crisis because that would be exaggerated but I’m having like an issue about not being fully satisfied in my career. And I feel like I want something more and I feel like I am cut out for more, that I am smarter than where I have led myself to this point, that I probably could have done better and been more successful and that kind of thing. Maybe sold myself short a little bit by not trying as hard and I feel like at this point in my life I am looking for something different. Like I feel like I don’t have a passion in my life, something that I really love and want, and I am just curious as to how you figure out what it is.
Seth… It’s very simple.
Isabella… And I’m okay with not knowing right away because I know I am not going to figure it out right away.
Seth… Make a list of that which you enjoy. Make another list of that which would bother you and that you would not enjoy. And when you start making a list of that which you would enjoy you then work towards that.
Isabella… I know but I’ve done that. I’ve thought about those kinds of things.
Seth… Not thinking about it. It is putting pen to paper. I would enjoy becoming a medical person where I may help save someone’s life. I’m using it as an example. I would enjoy becoming a postal worker. All these ideas are certainly fair.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… And until you write down that which you would enjoy, that which you might not enjoy and then they do not have to be careers.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… You may decide for example becoming a therapist or why would anybody do that I do not know! (Kidding.)
Isabella… But that would be a career but okay.
Seth… But all these attributes you can put down for yourself. Do you understand?
Isabella… I understand but I still feel like, that goes back to what I want to be passionate about but that doesn’t necessarily…
Seth… The only one who can determine that is you.
Isabella… But I am having difficulties figuring what else I would want within my life at this…
Seth… Then you start out with that which you like, that which you do not like and something will fall into place. The worrying about it causes concern.
Isabella… I’m not worried, I am just have felt this way for awhile and I have…
Seth… That is worry. (Long pause.) That which you are not satisfied with and in doing nothing about is defined as I am worrying about something. Show me three positive things you have done with that thought.
Isabella… With what thought?
Seth… What you just said.
Isabella… Well, I’ve looked, I have done positive things. I looked up different educational programs at different colleges to see something that would interest me. I…
Seth… Other things other than being a teacher or involved in education.
Isabella… I have not gone outside of education.
Seth… Therefore, you are limiting yourself, my question is why?
Isabella… Well, the dog training thing, I have done.
Seth… And you will continue to do so. Only you may help yourself in this, there is nothing that anybody could do for you. What else?
Arthur… Alright let’s go to the therapist thing, what is the difference between the kind of stripping away that you’re talking about with the questions and either analysis, psychoanalysis or on the other hand over analysis? What, how can we define those differences?
Seth… You’re defining the differences from a therapeutic standpoint. I am defining these differences as what an individual must do. Therapists should only ask questions. They should never have an investment in the patient, meaning that which is going on so the patient keeps coming. Most therapists unfortunately use the patient and try to remold the patient instead of having the patient remold themselves. A patient who has been in therapy for five, ten, fifteen years is obviously at the wrong therapist and certainly has made no changes. Yet one therapist after another will keep saying, well you have a problem. Do you understand?
(This led to a number of questions and answers for therapists conducting therapy. Basically, Seth stated that therapists tend to ask negative or biased questions to their patients. For example, if a therapist asks how is that profitable for you? The patient knows that the therapist thinks it is not. Questions have to be as neutral as possible. One could ask, what are the pros and the cons to this situation? Another question might be: I see you are having difficulty with whatever that difficulty is, correct? How do you believe you can change your perceptions and the way you handle these difficulties? This forces the individual to look at himself and the difficulty in a different light. Still another question might be: Can you give me two or three possible steps you could take to improve this situation?
Seth also stated that when working with us if we become stuck and there is no wriggle room, he will give us information to give us a direction. He never tells us what to do. Essentially it is very important for therapists and teachers to never take away another’s free will. Creativity should come from the patient not from the therapist.)
Frank… At the beginning of this session…
Seth… Horrible session for you, go ahead.
Frank… You think? You mean a tough session? Why is it a horrible session for me?
Seth… Think about it.
Frank… I think that I touched upon some…
Seth… I’m not saying that it… horrible meaning exceptionally displeasing in terms of that which you have to confront.
Frank… Yes! (Laughs.)
Seth… Go ahead. And your question is?
Frank… The question had to do with being happy, if you are not happy…
Seth… Be happy.
Frank… you know then you must change?
Seth… If you choose to.
Frank… What you said at the beginning of session was that it is mandatory to change if you are dissatisfied with something…
Seth… If you are dissatisfied with the idea of being unhappy one must change into being happy.
Frank… Right.
Seth… If you are dissatisfied in the way in which your parenting skills are what do you have to do?
Frank… Come up with new ways to parent. Change it.
Seth… Simple, isn’t it?
Frank… And then the happiness comes from the…
Seth… The success.
Frank… creativity and the shifting of the change…
Seth… Correct.
Frank… and then you are happy with that layer and then maybe another level will appear.
Seth… Or and something underneath will show its ugly face.
Frank… But is the unhappiness then basically just you’re so stuck in something that…
Seth… Unhappiness is simply the idea that I am dissatisfied at any given point of reference with whatever.
Frank… Right, which usually implies is that I have been in this same place too long now, I’m not satisfied.
Seth… Or for the first time it matters not.
Frank… Right. Okay.
Seth… Let me leave you all with this: Look at the children around you, they are open, they are honest, their needs are easily fulfilled, and it is interesting to note that most adults are plagued by their wants. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have all of you here again. We shall do a little bit of housekeeping work. First of all, Kateorina!
Stephanie… Yes?
Seth… I will deal with both you and the man through whom I speak and about your numbers after the session is over.
Stephanie… Emm hmm.
Seth… You may tell him you asked for this. Three days ago, you certainly did. That being stated, Isabella!
Isabella… Oh, boy.
Seth… No, oh, boy. First of all, I believe you certainly should take pride in a great many of the things that you have accomplished this week. Would you not agree with me?
Isabella… I agree.
Seth… It is also obvious from your patterns and reactions if you will that there are numerous times when you feel that both the man through whom I speak, and Jasmine do not appreciate that which you are and what you do for them. Would you agree with that?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… So, since the problem exists and we would like to put an end to their, let us be fair here, looking at you in an adverse manner. Would you agree with that?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Then I believe then what you should do is that on a day-to-day basis, make them aware of that which you have done for the family dynamic. Is that not appropriate?
Isabella… It is.
Seth… Well since that is then therefore appropriate then what I believe you should do is make them pay the penalty for that which they are not doing. Would you agree with that?
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Now, so what I would like you to do please, is you could keep a piece of paper. You may put it on your refrigerator and anything that you do for a group dynamic; I am using this only as an example, not necessary as something that you would choose to do or have to do. Do you understand?
Isabella… Emm hmm.
Seth… For example, do all the laundry. I am just using that as an example; I could have used another example ah, making coffee. The examples do not have to be specific. What I ‘d like you to do every day is write down on a piece of paper that which you have done for the group dynamic. You understand what I mean?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Now so, make them pay the penalty for their being, let us be fair not helpful. I would like them to initial it for you, so you make absolutely certain in your mind that they know what they are doing or missing, is that not fair?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… So, you approve of all this?
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… I believe then that we now have a solution to the whole “look what I have done for you situation you do not appreciate me” situation. (Isabella is agreeing in the background.) Any problem with that?
Isabella… None
Seth… See, as hard as it is for you to understand I can be fair in both directions. So, you are going to do this. Whatever you choose to do or put down is fine and you are going to make sure that they initial it or sign it and please make sure that they both do because the tendency is for one to say, “well the other one told me” and of course they didn’t and that was their responsibility that they must both be aware of that which you are, fair enough?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Okay, that all being said we can now move along out of housekeeping and I would like to tell you all a story. The story concerns and this has been told in many times and in many different ways but the story concerns under our general category of Change: Two individuals happen to be walking along, male and female and they are taking a hike through the woods, and they happen to notice this beautiful small, little flower tucked away by itself. The flower is large standing on a small spindly stem, but it captures their imaginations. And they both look at the beauty of this flower and they become enamored with the magnificence. And so, they stop, and they appreciate, they may even meditate with this flower, how it stood apart, alone if you will and cast its beauty out for anyone who happened to pass by. And it then became obvious that the individuals themselves could do the same for themselves. They could stand apart and have their radiance shine out to the others around them. Their magnificence if you will is a very individual type of situation. The intimacy of the moment with the flower must be considered in life as intimacy with all those who surround you. Now, when one shares intimate feelings and thoughts such as each of you do here around the table you are indeed giving of self. You are casting out to the universe parts of you that you choose others to see. In other words, you open yourself up and you spread out that which you are. This is indeed one of the great aspects of Change. Many individuals cannot accept others looking at them in terms of how they as individuals feel about themselves and they fear how others will judge them. At times new ideas, new thoughts act as an enigma, they fear them, they are new, they cannot, they place themselves off center, they become distracted so that they cannot and will not allow change to occur since they truly believe that change is always accompanied by difficulty. A clear indication of that may be seen by each of you who sits around the table this evening. I could easily pick apart all your difficulties and conversations… I will pause. (There was something wrong with the coffee pot and there was a lot of attending conversation.) And your last words Kateorina that you dictated not dictated but received? (Different people repeated.) I could easily pick apart each of your difficulties in your conversations that each of you had over the last any number of hours, minutes, seconds, days it matters not. And all of you and the readers of this material will find that they refused to open themselves at times to new ideas, new ways of looking at things for most individuals habitually refuse to accept ideas that another gives since those ideas are contrary to what they have previously been taught to believe. Most individuals routinely make the same or similar choices over and over again. They drive the same way to work, buy the same type of clothing. Their dating patterns are the same. Their work habits remain unchanged and even when they allow themselves the luxury of change, they commonly stumble and fall back upon their tried and true methods. Therefore, one may look at the idea that the same choices always lead one to the same results. Now, the question arises, our individual here complains, “Why is this always happening to me? I never meet the nice man or woman. I never seem to get the promotion. I don’t have that many friends. I always seem to be lost and I am looking for something. My husband/wife does not understand me. I don’t understand the other individuals who are around me.” And this dear students is a clear indication that these individuals are still routinely making the same choices and getting the same results. Yet they complain and do nothing to assist themselves in their fight against failure. For those of you who have not noticed summer has ended and summer brings to most individuals who inhabit the physical plane a warmth and feelings of growth and prosperity. Their lives seem to bloom. The fruits of our labors are rewarded. You harvest that which you have sown. Yet the fear of what is coming causes most individuals to choose the status quo. Each season brings with it… Would you like me to pause, Isabella?
Isabella… No
Seth… Each season brings with it a renewal of… (Again, there was difficulty with the coffee pot.) Do not pour it I am telling you; you must add a number of things of water to that. That does not come from me by the way. I personally do not care. (Stephanie is laughing.)
Each seasonal change brings with it the renewal of one’s ability to accept and experiment with the differences in each one’s existence. Spring is the rebirth, summer is the growth and development season, fall is the harvest season and winter allows one to rest from their labors. Change must be viewed as the change of seasons. It gives one the ability to understand and appreciate that which you are. If I were to ask each of you and we shall at this point a simple question: what do you want or desire or need, however you would phrase the question to yourself? Let us see what kind of answers we would get. Who would choose to start us off? You will pass it around that way.
Stephanie… Contentment.
Seth… You would choose contentment.
Shanna… I think I missed the question.
Seth… My question was very simple, each of you must answer the idea as to that which you want or need or desire, however you want to phrase it. So, what do you in your existence believe is something that you would want, need or desire? We have one answer of contentment.
Shanna… That I don’t already have?
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… I don’t know. I don’t know if there is something…
Seth… We will come back to you.
Jasmine… Happiness.
Frank… Prosperity.
George… Companionship.
Isabella… Happiness and a better body. (There was giggling.) He asked me, what do you want?
Matthew… A soul mate, love companionship.
Seth… And?
Shanna… I really can’t think.
Seth… Well, we will wait for you then.
Shanna… Umm, I guess more balance.
Seth… What does that mean?
Shanna… I don’t know, balance, light, balance.
Seth… You have not stated anything.
Shanna… Balance in belief sets.
Seth… We will allow that to go. So now my next question (Shanna began to hand over the microphone) do not, you will start (Frank laughing). Now my next question, each of you has made a statement from that which you need want or desire and my question is simple: What have you done to achieve that which you have stated you needed or wanted or desired?
Shanna… What have I done to achieve that? Umm, I started to go to therapy.
Seth… Started to go to therapy, see there was an answer there.
Shanna… That was an easy one.
Jasmine… What was the question? (Several people repeated the question.) Worked hard in therapy.
Frank… I am speaking to Jerry on a weekly basis, and I have also started to do certain workshops to further my practice.
George… I have made new friends, introduced myself into new situations and chosen new activities.
Isabella… Well, my whole life has changed hence forcing me to look deeper into myself and make changes within myself to promote my own happiness. Um, but the better body situation, I did the cleanse but then I really have not done much since to help with the better body situation.
Matthew… I have worked on accepting myself. I’ve worked on spiritual growth. Um and having a different outlook and approach to other people and life in general and I am forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone and approach people and situations differently.
Seth… Kaetorina?
Stephanie… Oh, lots of work, (Laughs) with the man through whom you speak and others around me and starting to workout again and reading and kids and introspection and changing how I view certain things.
Seth… Now all that has been stated, Betty? (Betty has a phone connection and is not physically present at the table.)
Betty… Yes.
Seth… What do you desire most?
Betty… You’re crackling.
Group… What?
Betty… I missed; I didn’t hear the question.
Seth… The question was: What do you desire? What do you want, have, need?
Betty… Oh, very similar things, contentment, peace.
Seth… And what have you done to achieve them?
Betty… I’ve really worked on my attitude, and I guess sought assistance when I needed it.
Seth… Now that we have had all of you answer. Give us a moment… for the most part when I tell you that most individuals delude themselves into truly believing that they are either doing something, getting something or working at something. Since that which you have professed that which you desire and do not have and for the most part is not even in sight, one must therefore conclude that you need to change your sense of direction. That which is comfortable must be made uncomfortable. That which is routine must be made extraordinarily different. That which makes you unhappy must be made into something that is joyful. That which is difficult must be promoted, shaped, formed into something that is magnificent. Remember the flower in the beginning portion of this evening sending its beauty out to all those who would stop and think and appreciate. The question arises again what have each of you done to show your appreciation for yourself? Wishing does not make it so. A change of direction causes a change in perception of that which you are to that which you hope to become.
Do not be afraid of change. Change your direction. Change your perceptions and in doing so you will bring to yourself that which you require. And when those ideas come forth you will be amazed at the progress that each of you will make. I believe at this time we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue: I believe that it would be profitable for all of you to understand that Change itself is a way out towards a better existence. For if you could not change there is no growth. Are there any questions?
Frank… Sure, I’m having a little bit of trouble just connecting the idea of, you know the couple and the flower casting out their magnificence and how that’s the main thing of change? Is that embracing change? How is that change?
Seth… It is everything you could ever possibly imagine and more so. The flower was giving out its intimate beauty to the world. The people who appreciate it opened themselves up and allowed the flower into themselves, then opened themselves up to allow their magnificence to radiate outward.
Jasmine… Is opening up equal to the change?
Seth… Opening up is change.
Frank… Why wouldn’t you just go back on to the tried and true ways?
Seth… Why would you? Most people do, most people take the same route to work every day because they are used to it. Most people in relationships act the same way over and over and over again and if they didn’t most of you therapists would be out of business.
Frank… Cyndi and I went out. We were invited over a couple’s house Sunday night after an event, it was very enjoyable and there was a lot of sharing like that.
Seth… Sharing like what?
Frank… Sharing intimacies of family situations and there was a very nice feeling about that. So, I understand that concretely that that feels good. I just don’t necessarily connect it to, okay now there is a change.
Seth… No, you make the change. One makes a change by doing something differently. One incorporates that which someone else says into you and you follow a different path. You don’t have to and therefore you keep things at status quo and if you keep the status quo what has occurred? The answer is nothing.
Frank… Okay. If I shine out, how am I taking in from somebody else and changing my direction?
Seth… By allowing it.
Frank… By just shining out in the first place?
Seth… By allowing others to give to you what you are giving to them. You are becoming intimate with another individual. For example, in your conversations with the man through whom I speak are not both of you being intimate?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Is there now a difference in the way you are perceiving your world around you?
Frank… Yes, somewhat.
Seth… Therefore, you gave, and you took and the intimacy, the radiance that both of you gave out made both of you different.
Frank… That makes it clearer.
Betty… So, in other words that is like saying there is two ways to shine the light one is to be the candle the other is to be the mirror that reflects it?
Seth… Yes and no. In other words, just because someone gives out something does not mean it is appropriate for you or inappropriate for that matter. If you are open and intimate with the outside world, meaning people other than yourself you are allowing yourself the luxury of accepting differences on many different subject areas. Your lines of study are no longer the same and therefore you have accepted change into self by allowing yourself the luxury of perceiving the universe in a different manner.
When you as an individual allow yourself to be open and intimate with others you have a choice. The choice is simple you can accept or reject any or all of that which they are, that which they are presenting to you. When you open yourself up and become intimate with them your lines of study, the things you are interested in, allow you to make differences in the way in which you perceive your world.
You must be on the idea that I can reformulate ideas. That which you thought was correct this afternoon may be incorrect this evening and so you must be available for movement. It is the personality that is rigid, who only does things in a certain way that causes difficulties. The flexible individual does well. There is a song that explains the difference between the young tree in the winter that bends and an old tree from the weight of the ice and snow that snaps. One lives, one dies. Be flexible!
One of the major reasons that individuals learn by having an ability to review something constantly and when presented with the idea that this is for my benefit most people rail against the idea. The person who is morbidly obese rails against the idea of going on a diet to lose weight. Individuals who have heart conditions commonly still smoke yet it is a direct factor of smoking and heart and stroke that they should be aware of yet they ignore this but when forced with the idea of, you are not going to live more than a year and a half if you are doing what you are doing Shirley Sarah immediately changed her perception of smoking and decided, this is a foolish thing to do I am going to make a change and I will never smoke again.
Let me leave you all with this: When one is on the same course, makes the same choices, one receives the same results. Summer allows you to reap that which you have sown. Know what you desire to make plans to receive it. And when you choose to receive it properly your needs will be fulfilled, and you wants lessened. Use change effectively; be the flower who gives off its perfume and beauty. Let others drink you in. Be the spring water and the oasis that nourishes the weary traveler, which of course is you. I bid you all a very fond, good evening.
(Session 346 dictated on Tuesday September 18, 2007, was primarily a private session and is omitted here.)
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you here again. We will deal with some housekeeping issues. I certainly would appreciate if Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak paid some semblance of attention to their incarnation and knew what they were doing some of the time. Anything more would be a privilege to see and deal with. Both of them have no concept of anything, dreaming is one thing, living your life in a dream state is certainly not what I would consider appropriate under any one’s set of circumstances. Forget about knowing who is doing what number, when they’re done, remembering to do them is just part of living for both of you and I would strongly suggest that you attempt to handle the situation in an appropriate manner.
That being stated the other housekeeping issue that I would like to deal with at this particular time concerns you, Isabella. Now, let us ask a simple question: do you believe Isabella, that when necessary, I give you information that will help you along?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Do you believe that from your own viewpoint of course that as a teacher I am here to assist you to help your growth and development if you will?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… That being stated here, one of the reasons that I have strongly suggested that you stay within this framework, meaning the house of Jasmine and the man through whom I speak is for you to foster your own growth and take responsibility for doing things that are necessary for you as an individual. You agree with this so far?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Now, that being stated I would like you to take at least at this point full responsibility for your dog Krypto (Certainly a super dog!) in terms of not having someone else walk this dog, not having someone else assist you at all. Now the reason for this is because it then forces you as an individual to come to grips with the idea of this is something that I desire. This is something that I would like to have happen for me, meaning the care and wellbeing of another soul. Do you understand this?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Therefore, as of this moment most of the responsibility will be upon you even if you are tired, even if you are exhausted your responsibility is for this. Now you may ask why I am doing this and I am doing this because for example, should someday you decide which is from my research most likely to become a mother you will have to learn responsibility in terms of when you are tired, when you are exhausted, when things do not seem right that you may certainly get help if possible. But if you can’t the responsibility is of course your own and you will deal with this under those sets of circumstances and it is far easier for you as an individual to practice on a soul that requires very little of your attention as compared to a child which requires a great deal more. Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Now this by no means should be looked at as a punishment. This by no means should you look at this as you are being victimized. What you must learn to understand is that for you as an individual growth and development means making something of yourself, something that you can take pride in without needing to fall back upon anyone else and I am perfectly sure that you as an individual can accomplish all this. Do you understand?
Isabella… I hear you.
Seth… I know you do not like it; I know that you would like to…
Isabella… It’s not a matter of like it or not. I’m not, it’s fine, it’s really not that big of a deal.
Seth… I’m glad that you would say that…
Isabella… But I think it is ridiculous that everybody asks somebody else for help all the time. It’s like I don’t understand like all of the sudden like why it is not okay for me to ask somebody else for assistance?
Seth… I didn’t say it was not okay, I am saying I want you to do more for you even when you are in a situation where it would seem to you to be allowable if you will, to have an idea of asking someone else for help or assistance because for you it is necessary for your growth and development that you learn to properly budget your energies at times.
Isabella… That’s fine.
Seth… And this is basically what you should be aware of.
Isabella… Alright.
Seth… We have been speaking about the idea of Change. One of the ideas of Change is to incorporate within self the idea that for you as an individual you must learn of course to be happy, to be content. To be happy and to be content with that which surrounds you is one of the cornerstones that you must learn to incorporate into your daily existence. Individuals look at something that is different from their normal routine or habitual actions and they for the most part become fearful or worrisome about how and when their actions will conflict with that which is new or different. One must use the old expression that everyday is precious and in truth everyday is change. Everyday must lead you to incorporate something different within your own egocentric viewpoint of the physical plane. One’s viewpoint is shaped and reworked and reshaped due to experience and perception of that which you create. Your creations due to your ability to formulate your own existence are magnified and at times glorified by your perceptions of that which you as an individual become responsible for. In other words, what you desire you create. You bring to yourself that which you have a need for. Yet the idea that each day is a change is often overlooked by most individuals. It is overlooked because of the habitual nature of the routines that are traditionally set up by most individuals who inhabit the physical plane. One must work on the idea that your own happiness depends upon your ability to function with change. Let me give you an example or two. Let us ask a simple question and we shall pass the microphone around we can start with Betty. Betty?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… What is your favorite food?
Betty… Ice cream.
Seth… What type and flavor?
Betty… Anything.
Seth… Oh, that is not good enough and I will not accept that.
Betty… It changes.
Seth… No what is your favorite ice cream?
Betty… Hmm, I couldn’t tell you, I don’t know. It changes.
Seth… I’m sorry, then we will wait for you to pick a flavor.
Betty… Pistachio. (Laughs.)
Seth… Pistachio, that’s fine. Pass this around what is your most favorite food.
Isabella… Umm, I don’t know. Cake.
Seth… What type of cake?
Isabella… Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting.
Seth… Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting, pass it on.
Arthur… Coffee ice cream.
Seth… Coffee ice cream.
Frank… Steak.
Seth… Steak.
Jasmine… Pizza.
Shanna… French fires.
Stephanie… (Giggled.) Really? Lobster.
Seth… Now you all have this as a favorite food. Let us ask a simple question. If you are only allowed to eat your favorite food, for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks how long would it take you as an individual to become tired of that food? (There was low volume talking.) So, we have people saying one day, we have individuals saying by the second meal. Notice here that I picked something that you would enjoy, that you would relish having. Yet something that you enjoy or have becomes wearisome. It becomes distasteful if you will the more you have it. So therefore, the fear of change is a great benefit to you and to all who inhabit the physical plane.
Frank… The fear of change?
Seth… Is a benefit. People have a fear of change. The idea of change, the fear of something being different, makes individuals resist the idea of change. Yet change itself is beneficial by your own admission that you would not want the same foods at all times. So, it is the fear of that which you do not have that causes individuals to narrow their viewpoints to become affected by even the simplest change in routine. Whereas by your own statements, you require change to prosper so that your egocentric viewpoints are expanded. One must work at change on a day-to-day basis. The complaints that one often hears, “My job is so routine, I’m under so much stress with my job that I cannot endure it! It makes me unhappy. It’s too much effort; too much work that is involved with this type of a job.” Yet for most their standard of living, their true happiness escapes them because they will not allow even the most routine task to bring them pleasure since they look at that task as either stressful or mundane.
Anyone who has a routine must learn to change that routine, shift it, make it different, enjoy the differences. The therapists who sit around this table demand that their patients change. The teachers who also sit around this table require that their students change. But the question for those individuals is quite simple. What do you do as a therapist or a teacher to allow change to happen spontaneously with your students or patients? Are you all not guilty of doing things in a way that is routine and mundane and boring, yet you expect the others that you deal with to accept the idea of change without a problem? An individual who is at stress in work hears that which is unknown, their fears prevent them from clearly thinking. For all they can see is what if!
And for those of you who were here for our series of lectures on “What about me?” will surely remember how stress plays an important part in the existence of voids in what about me? (The “What about me?” Lectures involve the idea that we approach our situations with others and our environment differently. A “What about me?” can be assertive or passive, angry, or sad, etcetera. When asking yourself “What about me?” one can better ascertain if they are promoting themselves in a healthy correct manner. If one is not promoting self and is stressed, voids can be created or existing voids from perhaps childhood can expand. Voids are empty emotional spaces we create within ourselves that feel intolerable, we can become angry, upset, anxious, bothered, depressed. Because a void does feel intolerable and since we are not centered, we seek to fill the void and react poorly, for example having a tantrum.) Each of you must take a vacation if you will, from your own day-to-day existence. Now of course there is nothing wrong with leaving your surroundings for a week or two. But a vacation can be as little as five minutes. It can change your viewpoint. It can bring much needed relaxation and is a gift to self from self. One may simply open a book, read for three to five minutes and drift away. One may look at a picture and enjoy that which you see. One must allow their consciousness to expand. One must allow their viewpoint of that which is to assist you in your vacation time.
There is nothing that is sadder than an individual who believes that everything stays the same. They make excuses for not instead of making excuses for. Most therapists would be out of business if individuals would take a five-minute vacation once a day. This will not eliminate your difficulties. This will not solve your problems, but it will put them into a perspective that you can easily adapt to. There is an expression that one must learn to deal with when something difficult or tragic happens or something that you believe is difficult or tragic. One must ask themselves the following question: In five years will this truly matter? What effect will this have upon me or my family? And for the most part most individuals will state, it truly did not matter. For over time the change that at once appeared so devastating will lose its impact due to the fact that your perceptions of your past will have changed and therefore your past has changed so that your present is different and of course your future will have also have changed.
It is interesting here to note about perception, individuals believe and mostly it is an erroneous belief that if you do a regression through hypnosis or it can be spontaneous, and you look at your past you will be able to make great changes, yet I have a question. Would it not be more profitable if instead of going to a past life one goes to a future life? Perhaps the course you are on now will lead you to areas that you do not enjoy or areas that will not be as profitable as others.
So, my question again is what about change? If you change your present from what you saw in the “future” does that future exist? And the answer is no it does not since you have perceived a different path. The road that you are on has many entrances and exits yet it all leads back to the main path. It is your responsibility and yours alone to determine what your true path is.
Your side trips are but an interesting sidelight for you to gather experience. These are the changes that give you wisdom. Wisdom is gathered by experience. All you need to know you already know. All you need to do you have done. You are the one who is in charge. You are the one who makes decisions about which entrance or exit off your path you will take.
Your experience should be enjoyed. Your vacations, every day you will have one if you use the idea properly. Never do the same thing as a routine as you all have admitted you would not like the same food over and over again. Change that which you “eat” by changing your perceptions; your viewpoints will also change. If you change your future, you will find yourself on a profitable adventure.
Each of you has the ability to allow others to assist you on your path. Use them wisely even when they are disagreeable, even when they are mean, even when they torment you, for these are the individuals who will give you great wisdom. It is what you see in these dishonorable people that will allow you to profit from their difficulties. I have often said it is far easier to view something that is negative than it is to participate in it.
Each of you can always look for the pleasantries of your existence but if everything was always pleasant then your existence becomes boring. Most souls until they are quite well along in their evolution if you will take far too many resting lifetimes where their experience does not profit them. Experience takes effort and the effort to allow change to flow through you is what each of you requires to make any incarnation profitable. Work at change every day. Take your vacations and viewpoint of that which is and that which you are will immediately give you benefits that you at this point of reference cannot imagine.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Let us continue: When one refuses to accept differences that life presents, when one wants the status quo to remain intact one deludes themselves into thinking that they are doing all that they can. Anger, resentment are clear indications of errors in judgment, “but what about me,” one must learn to allow themselves to prosper by using Change as an adjunct to their day-to-day existence.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… In a situation like Bill’s where he’s obviously going through a lot of terrible times at work and…
Seth… Who made the terrible times?
Stephanie… Well, many people in the company, I know you want to say him. But everybody is experiencing the same feeling because the same existence has been occurring with this company for years so if there is a routine pattern of something that’s distasteful what do you do with it?
Seth… By not following the routine, for example, William has to handle the monetary issue of his company.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Since he is not in charge if you will, of bringing in the money, instead of becoming stressed of how I am going to find money to pay for these things his responsibility is direct to the owners of the company…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… and his direct individuals who are above him in the hierarchy of a bureaucracy. So that since money may be lacking certainly, he may be creative in how things are paid and when they are paid and why certain things are paid or not paid. Give us a moment, (When Seth researches something Jerry’s head moves back and forth as if reading.) so but to sit back and complain that I am having phone calls from people who want their money is but saying I don’t want the job with difficulties. All professions have difficulties. All individuals must face their difficulties or be left behind and you will certainly repeat those difficulties in other lifetimes.
Stephanie… But I thought he is being creative. That’s what he spent all these years doing is being creative on when and how he can hold off these people who are asking for money…
Seth… And that may certainly be correct.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… But to resent it, to hate it serves not a useful purpose because that means you are not in a routine.
Stephanie… So, what is he supposed to feel?
Seth… What he is supposed to feel is saying, I’ve done my best, I’m going to be as creative as I can, I’ve reported to who I have reported to and since I do not own this company I do not have to be concerned with the idea that I am making a mistake and people are judging me. It is his fear of being judged that causes him great difficulties. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right. So, he takes on responsibility about thinking that he has control over the money?
Seth… Correct, if you are the one who is bringing the money in…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… that means you have control over the money. He only has control over how it is spent.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… So, what he does is stress over the money coming in as compared to what he has to do.
Stephanie… Well why does he feel that he is in charge of that?
Seth… He feels that he is in charge of it because he feels that the hierarchy meaning the individuals who are above him are his parents and he does not like to be judged by his parents.
Stephanie… Okay but why would he think that his parents would think that he is in charge of the money?
Seth… Because if you can’t pay, your parents think that you’ve made an error.
Stephanie… But the people in charge don’t truly believe that Bill is responsible for the money coming in.
Seth… But William does not accept that.
Stephanie… What if he asked then that question? Would that help him at all?
Seth… A foolish question to ask.
Stephanie… But what if they were coming down on him and he were doing that to…
Seth… And he was going… it’s not even coming down on him in defense of himself because no one who owns a business who knows how much money is coming in would say to the person who has to pay the bills well it is your fault for not paying the bills, doesn’t make sense.
Stephanie… So, nobody essentially really comes down on him? He just perceives it?
Seth… He perceives as he’s being judged because he can’t factor in this bill to this bill to this bill to this bill.
Stephanie… Right because they are short of cash always.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, he thinks he should be some genius and make it happen out of nowhere.
Seth… Correct. Absolutely correct.
Stephanie… And why does he believe that’s that…
Seth… Because he was raised with disapproval of his parents. Anytime there was disapproval of his parents he took it very personally as most children do.
Stephanie… Em hmm. So how… alright, so his change would be knowing what that reality is and trying to sit back and enjoy whatever he could possibly enjoy from the company.
Seth… Correct. It is the same idea that Jasmine and Isabella and the man through whom I speak go through.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Now let’s say that one is correct or that one is incorrect, it is approval and disapproval that we are dealing with here. In other words, let us assume because it is habit that Isabella empties the dishwasher five days in a row. Well, one would certainly like to be patted on the back and say thank you very much for helping. But on the sixth day she does not have time to do this. Well, it has commonly happened here that one of the individuals is annoyed or bothered by her lack of assistance or the perception thereof. One of the reasons why I have made my suggestions in the way that I have is because Isabella herself must learn the idea that doing a job is doing it for the sake of doing it without complaining about how much I have previously done.
If I ask or if I was questioned on the idea: has she made progress? My answer is of course she’s made progress. But that’s not the issue. The issue is simple, I must learn to do things in a way that profits me greatly and one of the great ideas here is caring for others. Yes, it is tiresome, yes, it is bothersome, yes, it is annoying but in life itself the caring for others has all these factors that are involved. And we will certainly review the beginning portion of the housekeeping session on this tape. We will very clearly and reasonably see the idea that Isabella will just simply not say, “I have to do everything myself. I am not going to do this. I will do this. You don’t count.” It is in one small instance of the using of the idea of walking the dog. I realize of course, nobody is putting on a leash and walking the dog, but it is the coming downstairs from upstairs. It is saying this is my responsibility; this is what I need to do for myself. It is the giving to self that matters here; the giving to myself the ability to do things even when I don’t want to.
Isabella… I do things I don’t want to do all the time.
Seth… I’m not saying that you don’t, and I am not saying not to ask for help. I’m using this one thing to give you an ability to not depend on others. And that is all I have done and by your own admission in the beginning of this tape. I was very clear, and I asked you a number of questions all of which you agreed to and therefore for you to assist yourself is paramount for your own learning and growth. For I will make an assumption that you would like to be better tomorrow than you are today, am I not correct? And therefore, my interests are to assist you.
Are there any other questions? Then I will leave you with this: Change must be made beneficial. It will assist you in fulfilling your needs. It will lessen your wants and it will clear the boulders off the path that you are on. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you this evening. In terms of some slight housekeeping procedures that I would like to deal with, first, when Shirley Sarah is available, please tell her I congratulate her on her efforts to make some changes in her existence. (Shirly Sarah is Jerry’s mother.) She did very well, all things considered. Second Isabella…
Isabella… I thought I was off the hook.
Seth… Would you please to be kind enough to change seats with Kaetorina at this point?
Isabella… (Stephanie, I believe was mumbling about hating to change.) Is there a reason?
Seth… Because I asked you to; is that a good enough reason?
Stephanie… This is about change.
Isabella… Oh, we are changing…
Seth… Jasmine, please change seats with Shanna.
Stephanie… Winds of change. (Back and forthchit chat.)
Frank… Did you want to change with me? (Stephanie laughing.).
Seth… No, I believe at this point you can stay with your… you have enough problems walking. (Frank laughs and comments about not having to deal with change.) You do not have to deal with that at all.
Stephanie… I’m very out of sorts. That’s all I have to say.
Jasmine… This is the first of change…
Seth… No, this is a change for as long as I tell you to do this, this is a change.
Isabella… I kind of like it over here.
Shanna… Hey Frank! (Laughs.)
Seth… Now, obviously we are speaking about Change. To put this simply, Change is one of the major driving forces that the universe provides to the physical plane. The human condition is marked by the appearance of different factors that allows one to freely accept or reject any set of circumstances. Most individuals have great difficulty as evidenced by Kaetorina’s dis-ease. All of you have incidents that may be classified as simple or difficult. One must be aware that there is no hardship too great, no problem too difficult, no pleasure so intense…
Jasmine… Slow down a minute… Go on.
Seth… that it cannot be overcomed. One of course must learn to trust in themselves. Your ability to accept change is not dependent on anything but self. That which you decide is acceptable is accomplished with ease. That which you find difficult is often let go and must be restudied/relearned at a later point of reference. At this point I would like Jasmine, Kaetorina to please change seats. I would like Frank and Isabella to please change seats. (Everyone did so.)
Now that we have made another slight change when noted for some the change was relatively simple and for others even the idea of simply moving a seat became problematical and resentful. (Stephanie giggled.).
I am aware. Don’t think I am letting you go yet. (I believe towards Stephanie.)
Change itself gives one the impetus to create something that will assist you in your day to day endeavors.
Isabella… Can you give an example?
Seth… The simplest one I can give you is what do you do every morning before you leave your domicile?
Isabella… Ah, shower.
Seth… Not specific enough. What do you do right before you leave?
Isabella… The house? Ah, I make sure that I have everything that I need.
Seth… No. There’s something else much more important.
Isabella… Make my breakfast?
Seth… More important.
Isabella… Kiss the dog goodbye?
Seth… More important.
Isabella… Make sure that I have my keys.
Seth… More important.
Isabella… Ah… put clothing on?
Seth… No.
Isabella… I don’t know.
Seth… What do you check? I’ll give you a hint.
Jasmine… Check the lock?
Isabella… No, I never check the door. That the lights are off?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Check that I have my lunch?
Seth… No. (Stephanie giggles.)
Shanna… Cell phone?
Isabella… Check that I have my phone?
Seth… No.
Isabella… I have no idea.
Seth… Oh, you do something quite routinely.
Shanna… This just to her?
Seth… To her.
Stephanie… Oh.
Isabella… I have no idea.
Seth… Oh, let me put it this way, I’ll give you another hint.
Isabella… Yeah?
Seth… Television.
Isabella… Oh, I check the traffic.
Seth… Ah, you check the traffic! Well, why do you check the traffic? (There is some chuckling.)
Shanna… To know what it is going to be like.
Isabella… Because, no, because sometimes there’s an accident. I don’t want to go that way.
Seth… Ah! And so, if there is an accident, you are willing to?
Isabella… Change.
Seth… Is not the idea of Change here an impetus or an incentive if you will for you to do something that is effectively profitable for you?
Isabella… Absolutely.
Seth… Therefore, what was my statement before your question?
Isabella… Change itself gives one the impetus to create something that will assist you in your day to day endeavors.
Seth… Therefore, out of necessity since you choose not to be late to work you choose the process of change or give yourself the ability to change if necessary…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… to allow yourself the luxury of being where you said you would be.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… If one only desires routine one stagnates in their ability to perceive anything else but the ordinary. It is important to note that change does not mean that you as an individual have the ability to cause someone else to make permanent changes if you will in their own lifestyle or viewpoint. What often happens is a fact that you take on the other’s difficulties since their changes do not suit you. When one does this one often finds a discrepancy between that which you perceive and that which the other individual desires. Quite often this causes trauma to both parties! The question arises, when can one offer advice to another about change? The answer is simple, when the other individual either by word or deed or reference has suggested to you that they are in need of assistance.
Let us make even a more difficult example here. Let us assume that in out hypothetical example that you see someone making an error that you know will cause them great difficulty. When should you assist them in making a change that will be beneficial to them? The answer is simple. The simplest idea here is to ask a question and that question may be phrased in any number of ways, one of the easiest is simply this: Are you aware that you are possibly making an error in judgment. Period. Now the reason why I have emphasized the idea of ending a sentence here with a period, writing the word period and then putting another period is simply this, I want to demonstrate to all of you that it is far easier to go ahead and give unnecessary information to an individual who does not choose to receive it. What they perceive…
Jasmine… To give unwanted information?
Seth… Unnecessary. Unnecessary information means that they choose not to listen.
Jasmine… Someone who isn’t listening?
Seth… They choose not to listen, that is correct. You’ve already stated that they might be making a mistake. If you continue with the idea of trying to force information on individuals who cannot or will not hear they become angry and resentful and usually an explosion occurs. Evidence of this may be seen in two examples. Kaetorina knows too well what happens when you force patients to listen. Her shaking of her head and her smile is an indication that she tried to force a therapeutic patient into listening which failed miserably. And the second reference point here is a simplistic incident that occurred last evening. I believe that both Jasmine and Isabella are very aware of the explosive nature of their confrontation last evening. A word of thanks to me by both parties will eventually be appreciated, not that I mind even if you don’t for the information that I relayed to the man through whom I speak was certainly beneficial in at least allowing both of you to vent your frustrations one to the other. Don’t think he was that smart to come up with that all by himself? You can tell him I said so.
So, change itself encompasses all that surround you. One of the ideas that I would like to bring forth is that one must anticipate the good. This idea of anticipating the good goes contrary to a great many of you and your viewpoints that surround your day to day existence. One commonly anticipates problems, one will worry about them, one will mull them over. One will have these imaginary difficulties affect your entire existence and therefore, give us a moment, you become so mired down with the weight of change that your viewpoints become narrowed and your ability to anticipate that which is positive becomes diminished in your own eyes. References such as how can this turn out well are symptomatic of fear of change. One of the primary ways that each of you must adapt to your own living methods is the idea that you are an engine of change. You have the ability to promote the good. Fear and anxiety are all futuristic based problems that at your level of ability cannot be understood or properly accounted for. When changes become necessary the change occurs in many different directions. Obviously, your present is changed but of all things that change is perhaps the least significant.
Isabella… What is the least significant?
Seth… The present. Your past leads to you where you are on now.
Jasmine… Hold on.
Seth… Your past leads you to where you are now! When you change your now by definition you must have changed your past.
Isabella… Can you explain that? You always say that and it doesn’t register with me. I don’t really understand how your past changes when you change your now.
Jasmine… Is the now the same as the present?
Seth… The now is the present.
Jasmine… Because you said, when change is necessary the change occurs in many different directions. Obviously, your present is changed but it is the least significant.
Seth… That is the now. You live in the now.
Jasmine… Your past leads you to where…
Seth… Where you are now. In other words…
Jasmine… So, the present is the… significant.
Seth… Excuse me, is the least portion of the significant aspect of change.
Frank… Oh.
Seth… Now, let us assume that when you were working towards your tenured position you did not learn your lesson. So, what happened when you were due for tenure?
Isabella… I didn’t get it.
Seth… And that affected your now.
Isabella… Obviously.
Seth… Therefore, you then went ahead and changed your ideas about the now and when you change your ideas about your now your past forced you to change because you moved in certain line.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Therefore, your future and I am coming to this in a minute will lead you in a different direction. What happened when you changed your past and your now? What happened to you?
Isabella… Well, I didn’t change the past.
Seth… Yes, you did.
Isabella… I used the past to help change the now.
Seth… Then you changed the past once you change the now it works in both directions. You cannot change the now without your perceptions of the past helping you change.
Isabella… So, could we use the example of my getting divorced as a change?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… Because that’s a big change.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So… help out here.
Seth… It’s very simple. If you decide to become involved in a long-term relationship now…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Have you then changed your past? No! Because you will still make the same errors.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Then you re-correct your now making changes in your personality.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… Would your then past now lead you towards a different direction in the future?
Isabella… Yeah, obviously.
Seth… Therefore, the now is the least significant portion of the change. It allows you to move forward meaning in linear ideas towards the future so that your future past is different from what it would be because your past led you to a different position of understanding now by learning from that, therefore it changed. Your now then changes which leads you to a different future.
Isabella… That I, I understand that. I understand the now changing leads you to a different future. The past is still the past! (Seth speaking.) The past still happened the way it happened. It didn’t change.
Seth… Of course, it changed. The past always changes, not that you forget it but it becomes less significant to you.
Isabella… Or you look at it differently.
Seth… That’s a change.
Isabella… You look at the event differently.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… So that’s how it changes.
Jasmine… And you are different from what you were in the past.
Seth… Correct, therefore your past is changed, your now is changing in the process thereof and your future must be different.
Isabella… Right, I understand.
Seth… So, the path that you were on to walk down Street B knowing where you will be mugged or in your question, have another marriage and lead to a divorce, again, will be different if you learn to change your past ideas. What you look for in a mate, what you desire in a mate, what you see in someone else that changes. And when that changes your present of course is different since you have learned and then you move on in a different direction. So, in other words if you were a timeline studier…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… time would be this way under one principle…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Now that if you have changed your past here and you go this way you are on a different timeline.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, your future is different.
Isabella… Correct?
Seth… If you then go ahead and change your past but make no changes here you come back to where you are and you end up in the same place. Just because you are aware of something which is the last example, I just gave you but do not use that which you are aware of to become a different person in the future your present is still the same and you end up where you would have been anyway.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand? It is a relatively simplistic idea, (Isabella begins talking.) It is a relatively simplistic idea when you do not look at linear time but vertically.
Isabella… Em hmm, I understand that. But when you look at when you’re changing and you feel yourself changing then do you…
Seth… It’s a delusional fact. Most of the time for most individuals…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… it is delusion.
Isabella… Alright, I don’t feel in my case it is delusional.
Seth… I’m not… You may feel anything that you choose to feel and I am not going to open that up for discussion. You feel what you believe…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… I am telling you what is factual. Most people delude themselves into believing that they are making changes. Most are not true.
Isabella… That’s so, but that’s so depressing that most people don’t really ever change. I mean how encouraging is that?
Frank… He didn’t say that.
Seth… I did not state that.
Isabella… But that’s basically what, I mean in not so many words that is what you are saying about me that I am deluding myself into feeling I’m…
Seth… I have not mentioned you at all. If you would like to look at it in that way that is of course your ability to do so but I have not mentioned you at all.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… If you are taking it that way then obviously you identify with something that I stated.
Isabella… No, I just…
Seth… Obviously…
Isabella… thought you were talking to me.
Seth… You asked a question and I gave you a very general answer. If you identify with that answer…
Isabella… I don’t identify with it that’s why I’m upset about it.
Seth… Then therefore if you are upset about it you do identify with it.
Isabella… No. (Said softly.)
Jasmine… Can I ask a question? In Isabella’s case for example, she feels she is making changes but you mentioned the long-term relationship part. So, someone who goes from one long term relationship directly into another long-term relationship maybe deluding themselves that they are making changes when they are not? Is that what you are saying?
Seth… It certainly may be possible. For example, what is likelihood of an individual who is married here, divorced here, married here getting another divorce?
Jasmine… Very high.
Seth… Do you know why that occurs?
Jasmine… Because they haven’t changed themselves.
Seth… They’ve made no ability to…
Jasmine… Within self.
Seth… within the idea of learning from the past to change their now so that their future may be different. That is why these things occur. And the object is you either will or will not view this as what it is.
Frank… Did you say in the middle of that, that the future helps you change the present?
Seth… No.
Frank… So no, okay.
Seth… Although it can but it is for a more advanced individual then you are.
Frank… Why is the future more…
Seth… Because everything is fluid. Remember, you are looking at the idea of something like a ruler, one, two, three, four, five…
Frank… Em hmm.
Seth… If one does not look at that way but one views it as a spindle…
Frank… Yes, I understand.
Seth… from here you may gather information from higher up to change it lower down. That is how the future changes the present which changes the past depending upon what you draw upon in that vertical situation where everything has happened, will happen and can happen is happening now.
Frank… Is there a way…
Seth… Not for you.
Frank… Hmm, that’s not the question I…
Seth… Go ahead.
Frank… Okay, (Stephanie giggled.) Is there a way to explain to others how change works if they don’t have this sense of past, future and present?
Seth… There is not an individual who has ever existed on the physical plane that does not have a sense of past, present and future. I would like to meet that individual and so would you.
Frank… (Stephanie saying something about using different language at the same time.) I don’t think that was my question.
Seth… That is exactly, you said a person who doesn’t have a sense of past, present and future.
Frank… Doesn’t have the sense that their past changes? Do they just say that…
Seth… If you are a different person today, did you not make a change today that tomorrow you would look back on and say I am a different person today then I was yesterday?
Frank… Em hmm.
Seth… Therefore, your past has changed and your present is different, your future will of course be different. Do you understand?
Frank… I understand the concept for myself; is it enough to explain it?
Seth… One must again anticipate the positive aspects of change. Write this down. One must anticipate the positive aspects of change. Do not fear that which you do not know. Do not anticipate problems. Anticipate success. Bring to yourself that which you desire.
Frank… If you’re fearing change and you are expecting it to be negative you are going to tend to draw that towards you?
Seth… Absolutely correct.
Jasmine… What was the last thing you said, Anticipate success?
Isabella… Bring to yourself that which you desire.
Seth… And underline the words “that which you desire” .
Stephanie… What makes for the difference between a person who let’s say marries the same type of person, you know over and over rather then the person who, what…
Seth… Fear of being different.
Stephanie… Alright but what gave the other person the ability to look for a different first guy type of guy?
Seth… The dislike of that which is.
Stephanie… Right but the first person knows that they disliked it.
Seth… That does not mean anything. You are assuming that just because I do not like chocolate ice cream and the only ice cream, I can eat is chocolate will I eat it? And the answer is most probably, yes.
Stephanie… Because the first person thinks that is the only ice cream available to them?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Oh. Okay.
Seth… Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right so the second person realized there were choices.
Seth… I may have vanilla, I may have strawberry, I may have rocky road, I may have coffee.
Stephanie… But what made this…
Seth… All organic of course.
Stephanie… What made the first person though change into the second? What made the second person capable of moving from the first to the second to notice there are other ideas?
Seth… Lack of fear, anticipating the good; one brings to themselves that which is positive if one looks in that direction. When one has fear, when one is upset, when one becomes obsessed with self or others one brings to themselves that which they do not need, meaning want.
Stephanie… Right so if a person who got divorced is afraid, they’re never going to meet somebody they may settle with the next person that comes along.
Seth… And they do.
Stephanie… Fear of that.
Seth… And that is why the divorce rate among second marriages is higher than the first.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right, that makes sense.
Seth… I believe at this point we shall take a break and after the break please assume your original seats.
(There was conversation that was not caught on tape between Isabella and Stephanie and perhaps others. Apparently, it was about what makes someone a boyfriend.)
Seth… Let me interject an idea into this conversation. If it were at all possible for each of you at this moment to have an out of body experience to go to the plane of existence which you normally inhabit you would find that what you have been speaking about has judgmental qualities that have been assigned to it. Now, the judgmental qualities have both aspects, there is of course on one side Isabella’s judgmental feelings about what she is doing; then of course there are the judgmental aspects of what the others are saying. The difficulty with conversations of this nature are due to the fact that when judgmental values are used pain and suffering occur so my answer is simply this: One must learn that in these situations a nonjudgmental attitude must be adopted. Now this can occur and should occur routinely since no effective change is ever measured when judgment and their values are weighed and measured against an idea or situation.
Jasmine… Could you say that again? No effective change…
Seth… No effective change occurs or can occur…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… when judgmental systems or values are weighed and measured against an idea.
Stephanie… Isn’t it true that when you have a back and forth about when someone says you know, no I am doing this whatever and then you start to have a litany of examples of the opposite that it is just futile? I mean that’s the idea of why bother? I mean somebody has a conviction about something you are not going to change somebody else’s view.
Seth… I’ve covered the idea of changing somebody’s view earlier in this evening’s lecture.
Stephanie… So, what you, how do you…
Seth… What you have all adopted if you will is the simple situation that I am right and that you are incorrect. And the difficulty here is that none of you are right and none of you are correct and what you should do…
Jasmine… None are right and none are wrong?
Seth… No not correct, wrong has a different connotation that I do not want to…
Jasmine… None are right and… (Said at the same time as Seth.)
Seth… and none are correct.
Jasmine… are correct it’s the same thing.
Seth… No, it is really not the same idea that I am trying to impart here, Jasmine. When none are right meaning that there is an error somewhere and when none are correct meaning self means that you may have to learn to be open to something else. Wrong in this instance implies something that I do not want it to. In other words, if you are right then that person must be incorrect. I am trying to give you an idea of a nonjudgmental way, a non-right wrong, good bad, up down situation. For in different levels of existence right wrong never occurs. IT IS THE DECSION THAT MATTERS and write that down in capital letters and underline it. It Is The Decision That Matters. One must never on higher planes even to venture the thought you are wrong. The question always occurs is: please explain to me that decision.
Jasmine… Only on higher planes or here?
Seth… On higher planes there is no right or wrong. Here one says, you made an error, you did not do that well, your test mark was only 80 and it should have been 90.
Stephanie… So, in other words if Isabella was saying I am not in a serious relationship, he is not my boyfriend, I would say, please explain to me how you think it’s not…
Seth… What is your definition of a boyfriend? What is your definition of the relationship that you are in?
Stephanie… That would be the questioning?
Seth… That is the only question that one may ask.
Stephanie… Right, first one has to define it in order to know what they are doing.
Seth… Well, if you understand the definition thereof you may either agree with it or disagree with it, you may modify it or you may not modify it.
Isabella… Now, can we each have different definitions of what we believe it is?
Seth… Do you not think that is change?
Isabella… That is change.
Seth… I do not have a problem with that idea.
Isabella… Because my definition of what a boyfriend was five years ago is vastly different then what I think a boyfriend is now.
Seth… Do you now understand that your question earlier this evening…
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… has now been redefined by you?
Isabella… Yes, in their opinion they feel that George is a boyfriend; I don’t view him that way. In my state of mind…
Seth… What, excuse me, not your state of mind?
Isabella… In my life…
Seth… I would like to understand…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… what your definition…
Isabella… Of what a boyfriend is?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… My definition of a boyfriend is someone that I speak to and not text everyday that we talk about each other days, that we literally are not seeing anybody else, that we are exclusive with one another. That is my definition of a boyfriend, someone that I, you know do everything with and that kind of thing. That is my definition of a boyfriend.
Seth… Please explain to me your idea of exclusivity?
Isabella… Exclusivity is not seeing other people. Not dating other people.
Seth… Explain to me your idea the definition of being closed to.
Isabella… Being closed to? Not opening up.
Seth… What does that mean please?
Isabella… Not allowing yourself to open up to somebody else.
Seth… Understand that in all your definitions I agree with. The only one that you truly have difficulty with is the last one.
Isabella… In being open upped meaning for me?
Seth… Because you are comfortable here… (Index finger touching table.)
Isabella… Right.
Seth… which makes difficulty there.
Isabella… But that doesn’t necessary mean that if I met somebody, I wouldn’t be open meeting them.
Seth… I am not… we’re not working in that area.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… I am just simply stating that which you have defined…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… that which you are. I am not criticizing; I certainly do not care and I certainly do not judge.
Isabella… I didn’t say anything in my definition about being closed. I said…
Seth… Your implication therein is that which you do and my words were very carefully weighed and measured…
Isabella… I don’t understand.
Seth… My words were carefully phrased in all my questions to you to lead you to the idea and possibility that your being truly open to others in your existence…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… since you are comfortable here is limited there.
Isabella… Okay but I…
Seth… That’s all I am saying, nothing more. Do not add anything into my words other then what I am saying.
Isabella… I’m not adding I am just saying I am not, not open.
Seth… I am not suggesting that you are, I am not suggesting that you’re not, I am simply stating that your actions at this point of reference indicate that your tendency is to become very comfortable and therefore your allowing yourself to perceive differently becomes limited.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… That is all I am stating and it is not correct, it is not incorrect, it is just a thing, nothing more, nothing less. I have told you…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… that in my opinion which is far better than anyone’s here that your object here is to enjoy yourself and to have fun.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… And by having fun I would like you to learn to be more open and that is the end of my portion of this.
So, the answer here is that change itself should never be a judgmental value system.
Stephanie… I have a question. Where does it come into play the idea of enlightenment when you think, when you feel somebody may be in a tunnel where would it come in the idea of somebody assisting with enlightenment in terms of open/closed? Is that just a delusion that you can enlighten someone?
Seth… What did I state earlier? Do you remember the earlier portion of this lecture on the same question?
Jasmine… (Whispering.) Can’t remember.
Stephanie… In terms of the idea of change and making somebody see something.
Seth… You may go ahead and as a teacher offer information, I’ll rephrase this in a different way…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… When you are rephrasing something and you ask the simplest of all questions; I believe you are making an error in judgment.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Are you interested in why I feel that way? And if they say yes, fine and if they say no, fine. I have changed my words here to give you pause to think.
Stephanie… Alright and let’s say they say yes.
Seth… Then you must say this is what I see from my vantage point that you are doing.
Stephanie… Okay and…
Seth… That’s it, it’s not judgmental, it is what your perceptions are.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… That does not make them correct, it does not make them incorrect.
Stephanie… Right so if they say well, I don’t feel that way…
Seth… That is fine.
Stephanie… it is just this and then it’s the end of it.
Seth… That is the end of it because it is the end of it because the idea is you cannot force someone else to adopt your viewpoint. If someone at a reasonable age decides to close their eyes and walk across the street no matter what you tell them that you know this is busy street, there are many cars coming and you could be hit and killed if you do this. Are you aware of that? Yes, but I don’t believe it is going to happen to me. What can you do about it? They are going to close their eyes anyway. And so that is not what you are dealing with. You can only present information in a way in which someone either can nonjudgmentally accept it and ask for further assistance as to why you believe this or they can say I’m sorry I see this differently; I appreciate your viewpoint but I am going to do it my own way and if I make a mistake that’s my mistake. You cannot take on somebody else’s problems and make them your own. You cannot take somebody else’s problems and make them your own no matter how serious a mistake you believe that they are making because you are then judging them. And you cannot have change when somebody judges you. Change is by itself your choice.
Jasmine… But you still can enlighten them if it is okay with that person.
Seth… If they choose to hear you may give a three-hour explanation as to why you feel that way.
Stephanie… That’s the why the idea of waiting for someone to ask for assistance is so important because you know they are closed if they are not asking.
Seth… Correct. They don’t care.
Stephanie… They don’t care so they are not interested in changing anyway or the idea of it so that’s why…
Seth… Once again, if you were going to cross the street and say I am going to close my eyes and walk across the street and I say to you, you are a very important individual to me, I do not want you to get hurt and I think that you should open your eyes and take stock of what you see around you because I care that much about you. And you say to me I am so glad you care that much about me but I am going to close my eyes and walk across the street because that’s the way I’ve always did it. What can you do?
Stephanie… Right, nothing.
Seth… That’s the answer that must suffice. That is nonjudgmental. The person who is walking across the street with their eyes closed may in anyone’s definition be foolish but that does not mean that that they do not have a right to do that. Do you understand?
Isabella… I understand clearly.
Shanna… So, when you take on someone else’s problems you automatically becoming judgmental?
Seth… Absolutely.
Shanna… So how do you not get involved with someone else’s problems?
Seth… By understanding it is their problem. For example, if your husband came home tomorrow and said I am not interested in working, I’m going to go surfing routinely seven days a week. You have a number of choices, you going to say, look we need the money to live, we have to do this, we have to have food on the table, we have rent to meet, we have insurance needs, we have a car, we need gas. And he says I don’t care about that; I’m going to go surfing seven days a week and it is up to you to provide for me.
Shanna… Uh huh.
Seth… What are your then choices without becoming judgmental?
Shanna… Without becoming judgmental?
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… I could ask him if he wants my opinion on the consequences. (Some giggling.)
Seth… No, I do not want your opinion on this; this is what I am going to do.
Shanna… So, then I have to promote myself and do what I need to do not to be dragged down by him.
Seth… That’s correct. Do you see how promoting one’s self in a very serious situation is vastly different then saying you have to work, you have to do this, you have to do this because we have a problem, we have difficulties, you’re not helping.
Isabella… So, then what would she do in order to… in order to…
Seth… If she was going to put, she could do one of two things that are logical here. One, she could say I will support us as the best I can if we cannot do anything else that is okay with me because I love you or she could say I’m sorry I cannot tolerate your behavior, you are entitled to do what you choose to do but understand I am moving out and I will have to divorce you. Again, that is not a judgmental factor. It is what somebody needs to do to promote themselves.
Shanna… And in like situations like with teaching with parents you know when you are giving them information about their children and they might not be following that but you must let go because…
Seth… The most you can do is to say, in my opinion as a teacher your child needs to be tested, your child requires additional help for the following reasons and you document whatever those reasons are.
Shanna… Right and they choose not…
Seth… What can you do? Can you force…
Shanna… How do you like, how can I teach myself in letting go of those type of situations?
Seth… Because you can’t change them. What can you do?
Shanna… Can I tell myself I can’t change it and let it go?
Seth… Why don’t you ask if it bothers you? (Betty’s telephone was making a good deal of noise.)
Stephanie… Betty, are you eating pop corn?
Betty… Sorry. Just… (Betty laughs, group laughs.)
Frank… You’re brushing your teeth, aren’t you? (Laughs.)
Stephanie… (Betty said something and the noise stopped.) Thank you.
Seth… Do you understand?
Shanna… Uh huh.
Seth… It’s not a question of you leaving go, it’s a question of you understanding. Can you force a parent to assist a child when they choose not to see what your eyes see?
Shanna… No, that’s the frustrating part.
Seth… It’s not frustrating, you’re judging them.
Shanna… So, when I become frustrated, I’m judging?
Seth… Absolutely. Are you not?
Isabella… Shocked. (Whispered in a conspiratorial tone, Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… Are you not?
Shanna… Yes.
Frank… But Seth, if in your judgment feel that that child is going to be hurt…
Seth… Then whose responsibility…
Frank… then would you not be frustrated?
Seth… Then whose responsibility… If a child is being injured because the child has no ability to protect them self, what is your responsibility?
Frank… Report it.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… Yeah, there are degrees of injury that you can know something, from experience you can know down the road that this is going to be a disadvantage for this person…
Seth… And you then…
Frank… and you can’t report it!
Seth… You may certainly to a higher authority with the school situation. Be aware this is what is happening.
Frank… And they’ll say that’s a shame.
Isabella… It’s the parent’s choice.
Seth… And that’s as far as it can go.
Frank… Right.
Isabella… It’s the parent’s fault for screwing up their child.
Frank… I think my only point is that it’s acceptable to feel frustrated but then you obviously have to move on. And it’s a disappointment.
Seth… There are many disappointments in human existence. Things do not work out as you would like them to.
Frank… Right.
Isabella… Doesn’t it make disappointment your judgment? Because…
Seth… No, you disappointed at a situation, when you are disappointed and angry at someone else you are judging them.
Shanna… Okay if you are disappointed because a parent is not following through on something you are not judging?
Seth… You’re not judging them you are just disappointed. When you say, boy are they stupid, then you’re judging them.
Frank… Right.
Isabella… Can I ask a question about, off topic a dream? I’ve been having some pretty bizarre dreams lately.
Seth… You are understanding the reasons why.
Isabella… Because I am doing a lot of internal work, obviously.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… But one dream I had was about Krypto, (Her dog.) I have a few things I that I want to ask about few different dreams but… One dream I have is about Krypto and I was watching her and she was breathing heavily, panting, her tongue fell literally out of her mouth on to the floor and I was curious as to if you could interpret what that meant?
Seth… Basically, what it is, is again a fear of loss because if tongue fell out and she is panting she’s dying and therefore it is a fear of loss.
Seth… Is there anything else under those type of questions?
Frank… We’re on to questions?
Stephanie… What about in terms of a patient, this type of scenario where I have a patient whose wife is pretty much definitely having an affair and he knows this but doesn’t really want to know but knows it. But he you know has difficulty taking any action around it…
Seth… Why does he have to take action?
Stephanie… Well because he is miserable and feels horrible…
Seth… Then you ask a simple question, if you are miserable and you are feeling terrible what do you think would make you feel better?
Stephanie… Right, he’s afraid to make those kinds of changes.
Seth… Then why does he have to make those type of changes? If he is willing to accept feeling miserable and horrible, please tell him that it is perfectly acceptable to you and you will handle his miserable and horrible feelings as best you can.
Stephanie… So essentially if he refuses to make changes that’s what our sessions would be over and over again?
Seth… Why are you accepting this? Because I can’t make a change right now. That’s perfectly acceptable to me. What can we do to make your feelings so badly less difficult for you to handle assuming you don’t want to make changes?
Stephanie… What can we do to help him to feel better you mean?
Seth… Correct, and he has to come up with a solution not you.
Stephanie… Right so he’s, we’ve talked about how he promotes himself, this, that and he’s told me today he’s going to, he’s taking classes because he always wanted to be a dentist.
Seth… I think that’s a wonderful thought.
Stephanie… Yeah, we talked about how else could he promote himself, clearly, he is too afraid to leave the house and really confront and do things. So as long as he promotes himself consistently here it will end up filtering down somehow there, right? Because he’s going to get stronger…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… and if he could stay and do that for himself, okay. But what my question I was talking to Jerry about this, when a patient all of sudden knows that the therapist is aware of a problem that the client continues to promote how would the client not worry about the therapist being judgmental or feeling embarrassed about…
Seth… I have a question for you.
Stephanie… What?
Seth… Did we not just speak on the idea of judgments and if you… can you describe what being nonjudgmental is?
Stephanie… I know what being nonjudgmental would be but if we discussed the situation. Let’s just use this patient, he knows that I know and he knows that he knows that his wife is having an affair and we have discussed what to so this, that and the other. You know maybe it varies with different clients how…
Seth… Do you have to constantly bring up the fact that his wife is having an affair unless he does?
Stephanie… Right, no.
Seth… Then you are not being judgmental, you are saying okay she’s having an affair. If you would like to talk about it fine if you don’t want to fine and we will move along to something else. You say it once and you don’t bring it up until he does.
Stephanie… Em hmm, so okay so if I just start session with what’s going on what’s doing, he says nothing much.
Seth… Okay. Stephanie laughs. If there is nothing much going on, what have you done to promote yourself this week?
Stephanie… Right, which is actually…
Seth… How is your week becoming better?
Stephanie… That’s how I actually started; how did you promote yourself.
Seth… And what happened?
Stephanie… Well, he says, I guess I didn’t do much of that. (Stephanie laughs.)
Seth… And can I ask why you didn’t?
Stephanie… And then he would say that’s a good question. (Laughing.)
Seth… And you would say well not only is a good question but how about thinking about the fact tht you chose to do nothing instead of helping yourself?
Stephanie… Right, the idea of reflecting, but just in that question do clients and would they feel have a sense of humiliation that I’m…
Seth… That’s always an unknown. You can say to somebody how do you feel and that maybe a sense of humiliation if that person…
Stephanie… Chooses to see it tht way you mean?
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… So, it just really varies.
Seth… It’s not a question of varies it is a question of perception.
Stephanie… Right, that’s what I am saying it varies upon different clients…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… they might perceive that someone else may not.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, there is not real way of avoiding that?
Seth… The only way that you can avoid anything is not to be judgmental. To allow anyone the luxury of saying well if you like to look at it that way that is your choice, I have a different opinion.
Stephanie… Em hmm. And do you think it would be profitable for me to actually state the words, “I am not meaning to be judgmental here with this…”
Seth… Not “here” I am never judgmental because what you choose to do is what you choose to do.
Stephanie… Em hmm, because you know how clients feel like as if they have to perform for you.
Seth… Of course, and the idea is not to get them to be performing.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… It would be for example as me turning for what ever reason I could possibly have turning to Shanna and saying by the way how do you feel about the fact that your husband George is having two affairs? Well, she might not like the idea at all or she might not care. Obviously, he is not having two affairs. (Shanna laughing.)
Shanna… (Said softly,) Oh, my god I am done for.
Seth… Do you understand the principle here? I am one way judging because I say how do you feel that?
Stephanie… Right, right, right.
Seth… That’s the answer.
Stephanie… Right and the rest you have no control over, you do the best you can if they interpret it as judgmental or if they feel embarrassed or…
Seth… If they are embarrassed and is embarrassment a bad idea?
Stephanie… No, but it is if they don’t express it and you can’t work it…
Seth… Are you embarrassed?
Stephanie… You mean just, I need to be able to ask?
Seth… Are you embarrassed about the fact that your wife is having an affair?
Jasmine… And you are not doing anything about it?
Seth… No! That’s judging.
Stephanie… That would be judging.
Seth… I don’t want you to give…
Stephanie… You have to be so careful, like it’s thinking about the words. (Stephanie is laughing and there is a lot of kidding and laughing among the group about being judgmental towards a client.)
It is difficult too because you feel for this person so much about the fact you know they are being so hurt, humiliated right in their face, you know. The wife is flagrant about it in so many different ways. You know and I’ve had to say, it doesn’t matter what I think. Do you think she’s having one? Bla, Bla bla.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Shanna… Can I just ask a quick question?
Seth… You may ask me a slow question.
Shanna… It’s in regards to a really creepy dream with my dad that I can’t seem to shake and all it consisted of was me and him walking down a neighborhood street and he say’s to me, “I’m sure these houses are getting bigger and bigger.” And I said “No, they’re just small ones, we’ll find it eventually.” And the dream just likes resonates with me and I am not quite sure if there is a reason why.
Seth… The simplest idea is to look at the idea of a theme.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… How often are you with your father?
Shanna… Not often. That’s…
Seth… You now have the answer to your dream.
Shanna… Just that I am missing him maybe.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Change itself promotes you as an individual. Change allows you to move in a positive direction assuming you appreciate and look for the positive nature of that which surrounds you; in doing so you fulfill your needs and desires. When you fear change you promote anxiety, worry and your wants become magnified. Accept change, relish at the prospect of being different. I bid you all a fond good evening.
Introduction to Change: Change as the Driving Force to Learning
Tuesday Sept 4, 2007
8:25 p.m.
Seth… Good evening. A pleasure to have you here with me. We shall start with a review from a question that had been asked, and I relayed the answer to that question. Kaetorina, do you remember your question?
Stephanie… How can we learn not to be afraid of change?
Seth… That is not exactly what you said, and I will explain. Kaetorina has a fear of change and her basic premise to her question was simply this: Since change is inevitable how do you not fear it? One must then of course need a working definition of change, and it is the simplistic one that I offer you. It is something that I believe that you can all identify with. Change may be defined as something that is different from your previous normalcy or normality if you will in terms of what occurs from reference point to reference point.
Jasmine… Alright, let me repeat: Change is defined as something that is different from previous normality?
Stephanie… In terms of what occurs from reference point to reference point.
Seth… Does anyone and I am very sincere when I say this have any difficulty with that idea, since I do not want to lose any of you at this point of reference? Change itself is and must be considered the driving force of learning. One at any age, whether it be soul age or physical plane age, cannot progress in their learning unless change occurs. The idea of something being different for most individuals causes or induces panic from mild to panic that is uncontrollable. When the idea of that which is different arises, one must of course first learn to embrace the idea and the fact that something is being offered to you as a present is offered to someone who has a birthday. (It has been a number of years since this was first dictated and while change comes easier for me and others at the table the idea of viewing change as a birthday present still seems difficult at best! Well, it certainly is understood as an opportunity! F.N.)
One may not understand what is occurring around them unless one has made an effort to study that which has come before. Each of you has a readiness for the next step but you cannot progress unless you change that which you accept as factual. The individuals who choose not to accept the idea that the human soul is immortal cannot move to an old soul age since they have not mastered the relationship issues between themselves and the universe in general.
Isabella… But am I allowed to ask a question, now? The human soul is immortal, and you cannot move to an old soul age until they have mastered the relationship issues between themselves and the universe in general but once you cross over is it accepting that the human soul is immortal when you are alive? When you are on the physical plane or is it accepting that the human soul is immortal when you are there? Because I thought that every soul would know that when they are there?
Seth… When you are in a higher realm, a higher state if you will that which you are aware of has no experience to the physical plane. You come to the physical plane to experience that which you know or that which you choose to work upon. Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes, but I thought that there were things that were known to souls specifically that you know, obviously that they know that they reincarnate, they know that they come back to learn, they know that they’re immortal.
Seth… If you were to take a survey…
Isabella… Yeah? I’m not talking about people on the physical plane. I’m talking about souls once they’ve crossed over.
Seth… You cannot use one idea to explain another. Once you have ended your incarnation there are many souls who refuse to “leave the physical plane” and individuals like myself will move into their physical plane reality to move them along into higher realms. Once they have passed into higher realms, they require a reworking at times of their energies. Their abilities are such that the older soul needs little help, the younger soul needs a great deal more. Do not confuse what as even for example an infant soul who’s on the first step of learning about self and survival, which is the most primitive of all, once that soul has ended its incarnation it is aware of a great deal more from its perspective, yet when it reincarnates it reincarnates of course as a physical plane being. One cannot use that knowledge in a way which would be helpful to them because they could not experience that which they need to experience for learning. (Soul Ages are discussed quite extensively during the lecture series having to do with Growth and Development which began in Session 478 November 1, 2011, and continued into the last formal session 673 on January 28, 2020, right when Covid struck in the United States.)
Frank… Is it somewhat akin to the difference between experiential learning and book learning or is it far different?
Seth… It is far different. One may not compare and contrast the two ideas because even in book learning there is an experience that goes on.
Frank… The idea of it?
Seth… The idea of studying it, of reading it, of incorporating it into yourself.
Isabella… But does an infant soul get to go back into their records and read their choices and things like that as would an older soul or they don’t…
Seth… If you at any age…
Isabella… do as much studying?
Seth… They do more studying than older souls do because they have vastly more to learn. Remember if you look for example at the coloration of souls, well, a newly developed soul is commonly classified as white. As the soul gets older and more developed other colors and hues and yellows and gold come in. All these signify to others around them that they have started to progress in their learning when of course it is very common that the soul itself would go to The Akashic Records. Well, The Akashic Records are a complete history of that soul’s grand cycle, but it is equivalent, you must understand, of trying to explain to a six-year-old the nuances of a very difficult ball game, they are more interested in who won, who lost, who did what.
Isabella… With the younger souls?
Seth… Correct. So, their ability to absorb even that type of information from The Akashic Records as a young soul, you would have done this.
Isabella… Right, well it’s talked about even in “Destiny” and “Journey of Souls” the idea that they are very playful when they are younger and that kind of thing. (“Journey of Souls” and “Destiny of Souls” are books by Dr. Michael Newton that through hypnosis of many individuals explores the reality that exists between lifetimes.)
Seth… In reality which that book is of course, for most a primer of what goes on. There is more play that is done with old souls and souls of my nature than could ever be accomplished with souls who are much younger. Play to individuals like myself use change to promote my learning. My learning is vastly different of course than yours, therefore my play if you will, must be vastly different. My play might be for example creating a universe where there is just one color and how do individuals in that universe receive and look at that color, how do they react to it? There are many individual nuances if you will, in terms of play. Do not be confused that the idea with somebody says a young soul is playful. They are playing at a much different level or ability then someone who is an old soul or a soul who no longer needs to reincarnate.
Therefore, change itself is necessary since stagnation, which is the opposite end of change, causes individuals to become lackadaisical, fearful and in general lose their abilities to create that which serves them, and they tend to become dependent upon others. One of the ideas that I present to all of you is the idea of never doing the same thing as a routine. Unfortunately, teachers are quite guilty of having students fall into a routine in their classrooms. Parents teach children to do things as a routine and a way of learning yet and I tell you this: your Science has proven over and over again that individuals who learn by doing things out of order without routine are vastly more successful than individuals who do things by rote. An example of this is easily seen with the idea of memorization; if I was to give each of you a large paragraph to memorize and then as you are repeating that paragraph back to someone you become disturbed or something causes your attention to wander you lose that which you are, the place in which you left off and you forget your lines. Forgetting your lines in a play is the equivalent of becoming stagnant in your development on the physical plane. When one refuses to challenge themselves, when one refuses to challenge themselves and takes themselves from place to place in a specific method, then learning must become restricted.
Isabella… When one refuses to challenge themselves and take themselves…
Seth… And takes themselves from routine to routine learning becomes restricted. One of the methodologies for learning is to start in the middle and work to the end. Start at the end and work to its final conclusion. Do the beginning last. Individuals are taught properly when taking an exam, especially ones that concern understanding to read the questions first before looking at the paragraph or two or three that the individual who takes the test needs to answer the question. This is starting at the end and working backward to the beginning. It is the change in the way one’s modus operandi if you will works. Far too often one views change as a problem and this occurs because you are unhappy with that which surrounds you.
Isabella… You are unhappy?
Seth… Unhappy. When you fear change you are unhappy with that which surrounds you. It is easier to keep yourself within a set specific set of guidelines even if they do not satisfy you than it is to move outside these guidelines, so it is easier not to be fully content than it is to allow change to occur.
Isabella… You are that scared of it?
Seth… Yes, you are that scared and frightened of that which you do not know.
Isabella… Right so you just continue to allow…
Seth… You would rather be slightly unhappy than you would making the change since the change signifies something different.
Stephanie… So, if you are happy…
Seth… Do not walk down that road; that is not the same thing. (Group laughter.) Good try.
Stephanie… Well, how do you know what I was going to say?
Seth… My research is far better than yours.
Stephanie… I know, I don’t even know why I ask that, but I want to understand what goes on with that. If you are happy, do you seek change more easily?
Seth… One should always seek change. It’s not being happy; one does not seek change. One must seek change every day. For example, how many of you will set their alarm clock to wake up yet when you awake the alarm clock goes off even if it is just a few minutes how many of you get immediately out of bed? Or do you resent the idea I woke up three minutes early?
Stephanie… I don’t have an alarm.
Seth… You understand the point; you depend upon your children to wake you up, which sometimes will of course get you into trouble. (Frank remarked something about her kids being the alarm and laughed.)
Stephanie… Well sometimes I’ll just still sleep, depends.
Seth… That is the answer there.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… It is the routine that you must look to break.
Stephanie… The physical plane is set up around routines.
Seth… Routi… excuse me. I’d like you to prove that to me.
Stephanie… Okay. Work, people work typically nine to five.
Seth… Not all of them.
Stephanie… Not all of them but in general working people in the world work.
Seth… Most people in this world do not work nine to five; most countries in this world rise at dawn and finish at sunset.
Stephanie… Okay but they are working; it is the routine of work and then play.
Seth… Why is work necessary?
Stephanie… To live…
Seth… To do what?
Stephanie… To make money.
Seth… To provide something that they require.
Stephanie… Right, to exist in a way that’s…
Seth… Begging may be considered work as well.
Stephanie… Okay so even the beggars on the street probably have a routine every day where they sit on the street corners with their cans and the drums and the whatever, and they have a routine. Everything is routinized; it just seems to be that way.
Seth… Ah, it seems to be to, but you have not proven anything you are just saying people do things because they do things.
Stephanie… Well, ah, stores open up at a certain time pretty much each morning.
Seth… If you were to tell me that in the nineteen-forties and nineteen fifties there were not stores open on Sundays, I would agree with you. Is that true today?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… So, what you are saying is that according to you, routines never change.
Stephanie… No, I didn’t say that.
Seth… Oh, then routines do change?
Stephanie… Routines change but what I am saying that’s more of the exception. I am saying in general it seems that there… things have routines.
Seth… Things seem to be routine because that is the way you choose to look at them.
Stephanie… So, you are saying that there is nothing on the physical plane to indicate that there is routine?
Seth… The physical plane is not set up for routine. The physical plane is set up to experience change.
Stephanie… Right but man has set up routine on the physical plane.
Seth… When you… (Betty on the phone…) Repeat that again please, Betty.
Betty… I said if there is a snowstorm, people will be late for work or have to leave earlier.
Seth… Each individual looks at something that they enjoy doing in a certain way. Others detest the idea of getting on a train at a certain time, leaving work at certain time. They have become habitual in terms of the way that they do things and when they do this, they become chronically unhappy.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… A good example is somebody that you live with. (Stephanie giggled.)
Jasmine… They are chronically unhappy because they continue to stay with routine…
Seth… They do not change that which they would choose to if they could; the cry of, “If only I had more money, if only I could do this differently, if only.
Change and fear of change do not allow one to grow. One of the oldest statements to allow change to occur is the idea of trial and error. Something that works at one point of reference may not work at another. One must become open to look, to feel, to experience, look, feel and experience all that you as an individual create and one may only do this with practice and patience. We are going to go ahead and look at beautiful scenery. Which is better, stopping your car getting out and studying the view or driving along at seventy-five miles per hour and taking a quick glance from one side of the road to the other? Patience allows change to flow into you. It allows you to appreciate all that you need to create. The fear that one has of change is lessened by the slowness, by the idea that one may learn to appreciate what you have or will or want to accomplish! Again, the old expression, one cannot make a change overnight is factual. One may come to the conclusion very quickly, I do not like the way I am, and I will make changes. But those changes, if you are going to be successful, must be incorporated into self so that the others may appreciate that which you are becoming.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue: Change of course, has many shapes. One must learn to reshape anything into something that is more suitable for you at any given point of reference. One’s inability to advance themselves, Lee Chang is a perfect example of this, is the erroneous belief that the status quo is beneficial. (Lee Chang is the Seth given name for a friend and associate of Jerry’s. Lee Chang is a gifted psychic who has spent numerous lifetimes studying from the negative side of things.) When one does not do their homework, any teacher will tell you that that student is robbing themselves of the lessons that have been taught. One must constantly review so that the changes that are necessary take place with ease. If one truly desires to justify their presence on the physical plane one must be able to demonstrate that change was an integral part of their existence. Do not mourn for anything! That which you do not have in reality does not matter. The universe will send you all that you require so that you may prosper at any specific point of reference. Remember my students, you cannot accomplish anything without practice. Lectures that I have given you are but an outline. The words themselves convey only a smattering of the knowledge that you require. It is you who must do the work. If you like mint ice cream, learn to love rum raisin.
Stephanie… Because you hate it or because it is different?
Seth… Because it is different.
Stephanie… So, you are just taking that on purpose?
Frank… You just learn to love something else that is different?
Seth… Would I ever pick anything that is different?
Stephanie… That is just the worst flavor you could possibly pick.
Seth… For some.
Stephanie… Why do I have to learn to love that? I could just learn to like a different one.
Isabella… Right, well that’s the point. I don’t think he means exactly Rum Raisin.
Stephanie… Yeah but… he did that on purpose.
Seth… Let us move along for somebody is balking at change, (Stephanie giggles.) because they don’t like the flavor.
All change has within it the seed for growth. Your development on the physical plane is nourished by the food, water and sunshine that you create from moment to moment. Each of you must first take pride in themselves that you are not a dull repetitious person. Learn to embrace the idea that nothing that you desire cannot be accomplished when perseverance is applied to any problem.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… I have two but one I want to use this skiing idea. You know at first, I was afraid to try skiing, and you know quite honestly, I really didn’t allow myself to go to a bad place about it and I said, okay I am just going to do this thing. So, I first enjoyed it and now I am afraid of it again because there is a lot of ice, there is a lot, you know you don’t have a lot of control, whatever, whatever. I’m just, I’m not feeling favorable towards it anymore, now I am feeling more fearful about it. So, what started to be something positive that I accomplished, now I don’t feel like I want to necessarily move in that direction. I’m going to try it, see if…
Seth… Do you have to do something that you do not enjoy?
Stephanie… No, I don’t have to, but it would not be great if I didn’t continue.
Seth… What you are really saying is: I am not sure that I may change my idea about something unless I try.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… And that is factual. One should never be in a position to say I am not going to try. If you have tried something and do not enjoy it, then do not continue. Not everything is for everyone.
Stephanie… Right, but how do I know I’m just not using perseverance about it?
Seth… Once you have tried something a number of times and you do not enjoy it maybe the weather was too cold for you, maybe you do not like being wet, maybe you do not like falling down. All these factors play a part in learning anything. That is not to say that for the next person, they don’t mind being cold or wet.
Isabella… That’s me, I love it.
Seth… There is nothing here that signifies that both of you are doing anything that is incorrect. Just because you do not like something does not mean that you fear change. It is something you have attempted but do not like. That is perfectly acceptable.
Stephanie… So how would I know whether I should continue to pursue it because my family is going to do it, otherwise I would literally be in the lodge doing nothing for hours and my family is skiing?
Seth… That is perfectly acceptable if you choose to make it acceptable. You do not have to do something that you do not like. By doing something that you do not like you force yourself into an unfavorable situation where only problems of health and wellbeing in this instance can happen or do occur.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… You do something that you do not like then of course you have an ability to change and not accept the fact that this is not for me. One of the classic examples of ideas of change comes with Jasmine. She went on a trip, did not participate in one event going up to the top of a mountain. Yet in another vacation she said I am going to try something different even if she was fearful, she got into a helicopter and enjoyed the ride immensely. All these things are because she did not fear change, she attempted something. In one instance she felt she was not ready to make that change. That is perfectly acceptable. In the other instance she said will give it another try if I don’t like it, I don’t have to do it again. Do you understand the difference?
Stephanie… Yes, so maybe, you know I am just wondering is it the conditions or is it the skiing?
Seth… It may be both.
Stephanie… Right, it may be both. I mean I don’t, I don’t know.
Seth… You do not have to enjoy something that others enjoy.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Which is what you are clearly stating.
Isabella… You’re entitled to that, I mean why do you have to like it if you don’t like it?
Stephanie… Well at first, I thought I did but then the ice, you know the conditions are a big deal besides the freezing when you are not a skier.
Seth… If you do not enjoy being cold and wet, why would you put yourself in a position to do that because everyone else does? Does that make sense to you?
Stephanie… No but I was with my family, I thought it would be a nice thing to do.
Seth… Excuse me.
Isabella… If you felt you were a better skier, would you feel better about it?
Stephanie… If I felt that I could be in more control, I guess with ice going downhill. I don’t know.
Shanna… So then take a lesson.
Seth… That is of course, that is her choice.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… But even with lessons she may feel that this is not for her…
Isabella… Absolutely.
Seth… and what I stated clearly, that is perfectly acceptable.
Stephanie… Versus the idea of quitting.
Seth… Correct. As long as you are willing to say I tried, this is not for me, I do not enjoy it then of course you have no problem.
Stephanie… So how would I make ski trips enjoyable for myself?
Seth… You may very simply state I am going to go ahead and take a book. A lodge may have something that you can do, something else besides skiing.
Isabella… Yeah, straight to the bar. (Laughter.) Get a massage.
Seth… There are many things that you may choose to do.
Stephanie… Right but if I go with another family where somebody might not ski.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay. So, you still, the other thing is I don’t feel that you addressed how you move toward change when you’re fearful.
Seth… Do you think I am finished with this subject? (There would be at least an additional 65 sessions on the topic of Change!)
Stephanie… Oh, no. (Laughs.) Probably…
Seth… I will have already partially answered that question. You will have to reread your notes.
Stephanie… I mean I’m just saying the idea of your perception of it needs to be completely different…
Seth… That is the first thing that one must do… (Stephanie talking at the same time.) That is the first thing that one must do is a perception of that which is different.
Stephanie… Em hmm, as in bad or…
Seth… It’s not good or bad, it just is.
Isabella… So, in my case, it is just my divorce. I really have two ways that I can perceive it. I can perceive it as a death sentence, and I am going to be alone and miserable forever.
Seth… And you certainly may choose that path.
Isabella… Or on the other hand I could look at it as an adventure and I am starting anew, and I have a new chance to start fresh and I mean there is really two ways that I could look at it. I mean why would I want to look at it as a death sentence? That would be morbid.
Seth… There are many cultures within this sphere of the physical plane where the husband has passed away or ended his incarnation. The women dress in black and are dead. There are many cultures on the physical plane where when the husband dies the woman is buried with him, for she counts for nothing. All these are perceptions; it does not make them correct or incorrect, it depends upon where you are. How you look at an event is up to you. How you choose to perceive is up to you. How you create is up to you. That is the only issue that matters. Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm. I was wondering if you could help me in maybe just giving me some advice as to keep towards healing with the sale of my house and being um…
Seth… What did you lose?
Isabella… The success of the actual home. Well, I lost a lot more than that.
Seth… What did you truly lose? You lost what you perceived was love and warmth and comfort. Do you believe that that is the only love, warmth and comfort that the universe will ever provide you with?
Isabella… No.
Seth… So, then you didn’t lose love, warmth or comfort, did you?
Isabella… No.
Seth… You lost the idea that your society where you are residing at this present point makes it so. If you were a nomad, you could care less where you slept and that is the factual matter here. It is not helping you heal that which you have lost. It is the idea of change that you must promote within self so that you may recapture and regain your own self-confidence. That is one of the reasons why when I tell you, do not make any life altering commitments at any one particular point of reference because you may learn to recapture that which you believe you have lost and that will take a number of points of references until you are able to do so. That does not mean do not try. That does not mean do something that interests you. It only means learn, and be prepared to go slowly. That is all that it means. Do you understand?
Isabella… Em hmm and also, I’m wondering if you could give me some advice about the cleanse that I am doing. I know that you felt that it was not good for Shanna or Matthew…
Seth… Let us talk about factual things.
Isabella… Em.
Seth… Most of the nutrition that is ingested in this corner of the physical plane is foolish. The Magical Approach to life is based upon the idea that one must move in harmony with nature. Nature provides grains, cereal, fruits, vegetables, nuts; all these ideas must be incorporated within you. The idea of supplements, nutrients and not eating within a helpful amount, yes, it may tell you to lose weight, it may give you the ability to say I can do anything and of course that is certainly profitable for you. But in terms of being understanding and helpful I would rather see you learn to eat with much less fat. I would rather see you to learn eat whole grains, vegetables, fruits, certain types of protein, eggs…
Isabella… But that is what I am eating on this plan.
Seth… You’re not eating enough of it to make a difference. What you are doing is drinking a powered supplement.
Isabella… No, I am eating protein, I eat chicken and fish and that kind of thing.
Seth… Do you not have a powered supplement protein a day? I am saying that type thing you do not need.
Isabella… I have that yes.
Seth… The idea is simply put as this: what is a poison?
Isabella… Anything that is foreign into your body.
Seth… No, that’s not true; an egg is foreign into your body.
Isabella… Anything that causes toxicity in your body?
Seth… That’s not true either. You eat too many eggs, it is toxic.
Jasmine… So that it has an adverse effect on the body?
Seth… No, poison may be defined as anything that is not nutritionally ingested and digested by the body. For example, if you have a very bad headache and you take an aspirin, the aspirin is a poison. That is a simplistic definition for you. Now, I am not stating that you should never take an aspirin again. What I am saying is that the things that you choose to eat and ingest should be highly beneficial for you as an individual. You may choose to have organic, nonorganic but as long as you feel comfortable with that which you are ingesting keep your levels of fruits, vegetables high. Keep your fats low. Keep your proteins within reason. Certainly, certain types of carbohydrates are more helpful than others. All these things must be eaten and ingested in moderation. Too much of anything, including water is highly detrimental. Do you understand?
Isabella… I absolutely understand. I’m asking you not so much as a physical standpoint but more from an emotional standpoint.
Seth… The emotions are yours; you may choose to look at them in any way you choose to do so. If you believe that they are beneficial, they give you strength, they give you a desire to be strong in learning, then I am encouraging you to do so. If you are doing this because you believe it is going to be helpful to you, my answer is I question that. Because you could not live on this idea for any great length of time and since they are telling you that you may only do this once a year that gives you a large clue of how beneficial it truly is.
Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Yeah, I have a question. (Said softly.)
Betty… (On the phone.) I have question off topic. Can you give me any information on the health of my mother?
Seth… The health of your mother at this point of reference, as you are well aware of is not as it should be. I believe that a change of positions is probably in order at this point of reference. Do you understand?
Betty… Yes. (Unclear.)
Seth… Then I believe that you are heading in a correct path. Is there anything else that you require?
Betty… No.
Stephanie… How does one know when change is required on a subject?
Seth… One knows that change is necessary on any subject when you are doing something in a routine manner. For example, when your son who abhors change has something thrown at him that distracts him, he does not know what to do with change. Therefore, change to him must be dealt out on a day-to-day-to-day basis so that he may be used to never doing the same thing twice. Change on specific subject or an idea is necessary when you do things over and over again in similar matters. For example, I would like you to please describe to me how a chocolate brownie tastes without the use of the word “cake” or “chocolate” in your description.
Stephanie… Describe how it tastes?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… Good. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Without the use of…
Frank… Real good! (Laughing.)
Seth… So that somebody who has never tasted a chocolate brownie may know what it is.
Stephanie… It’s creamy and melts in your mouth and makes you happy.
Seth… That does (Stephanie laughing.) not describe it; that is telling me what you are feeling. You understand how difficult that is and it is something you have to learn to look at so that your idea of change may be appreciated.
Stephanie… Em hmm. But there must be signs where change is necessary on a particular subject. Everybody has routines so everybody cannot be stating I must change this now.
Seth… When you are uncomfortable with something, whatever that something is.
Stephanie… On discomfort you’re saying.
Seth… Is one of the first indications that change is necessary.
Stephanie… Or a boredom or…
Frank… Discomfort.
Stephanie… Right. So, does, is everybody aware that, ah…
Seth… The answer is no, people commonly state, that’s just the way it is.
Stephanie… Right, versus that they can do something about it.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… It’s harder that way, right.
Frank… I kind of want to make a comment and you could comment on that if it makes any sense. In terms of a lot of what you teach here and a lot of it is in some of the Buddhist material that I have read, for example the idea of everything being impermanent is a major tenet but they don’t go as far as to say something like one needs to treat change like a birthday present.
Seth… Are we not dealing with language here?
Frank… I think…
Seth… Are we not…
Frank… The answer is yes.
Seth… What is the poorest conveyance of an idea?
Frank… Language.
Seth… Words. My words are very carefully measured, and they are used so that the readers or the listeners to my words may take as much as they are able from my word, and from my statements.
Frank… Do you think that therein lies the difference with words that were passed down from you know; the Buddha was two thousand five hundred years ago.
Seth… Of course, the words are different. Your century is different. A word for example that could mean peace in one area may mean war in another. Laws and morals change. The simplistic idea of if a woman decides in New York State to say I would like to have sex with you, and it is going to cost you five hundred dollars; well, that woman is now put in jail.
Frank… Right.
Seth… Yet, if she does it in Nevada it is perfectly legal to do so. Where you are, what state you are in, what century you are in, where you are on the physical plane determines the language that may have meaning. Do you understand? And so, the words because I state them in one way does not and should not mean that the words that were by someone else are less or more valid than what I have said. It is for the reader, the individual, to make that determination.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… So, the word Akashic Records and I always heard a different pronunciation they are talking about the same thing?
Seth… What word did you hear?
Arthur… (Pronounced the word with the emphasis on the first syllable.)
Seth… Language! Nonsense. What else?
Arthur… Also, I was thinking about something you said tonight the Barbara Brennan’s (Barbara Brennan is a spiritual teacher and author of “Hands of Light”.) statement about the process of change as being, she talks about as being, starting anywhere as for instance expansion, stasis, contraction, stasis and continuing is that an accurate look at it or?
Seth… Change is development; change must promote development of self. How you choose to define development we shall look at in the future. (This has begun some four years later with Seth’s lectures on Growth and Development.) It is not a question of expansion, stasis, expansion, contraction, those are artificial ideas that are used to express that which that person believes helps another. My ideas of change are the most simplistic possible, that which is different from one point of reference to another. And once something is different one must then if you choose to accept it, incorporate it into self slowly. Do you see the difference?
Arthur… Em.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Change is inevitable; there can be no growth without it. Where there is not growth, your wants become manifest and your needs suffer. Do not fear change, embrace it for it will give you the ability to promote self.
