Seth 365
Information on Value Fulfillment and Discussion on Some of the Group’s Lessons
Tuesday May 18, 2008
8:25 P.M.
(This session has no formal lecture but there are a number of issues those at the table were grappling with that the reader may relate to which then gets tied to the very important concept of Value Fulfillment. There is also Seth’s interesting allusion to why he teaches. Also please note that there is no Session 364.)
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have you here again. We shall do a little bit of housekeeping here. First of all, Isabella I am glad you decided to have the man through whom I speak set up your typing because you know by next Tuesday, what has to go on?
Arthur, how are you doing this week?
Arthur… Somewhat better but still not sure that I’m doing the right thing.
Seth… Would you care to elucidate me?
Arthur… When my sister, I couldn’t bear, I could barely bear if she was walking eight miles to sleep in a storage unit. When she, I didn’t try and rescue her and at some point, she called back and said that her car had been found. And I saw that as sort of something maybe she created by changing her attitude…
Seth… Go ahead.
Arthur… Then we worked on getting, I talked her through the weekend instead of giving her anything (money) and that part was good. Then what I am not sure about is when her car needed towing, I asked her at one point if she wanted me to be of assistance in terms of putting it on a credit card and it turned out that they wouldn’t take a credit card and I sent her cash. The exact amount of cash but I don’t know if that was helpful or not helpful. She could do what she wishes with cash.
Seth… Well, that is the difficulty, does she have her car?
Arthur… She is getting her car tomorrow, I think.
Seth… Then obviously she used the money to get her car because they wouldn’t have towed it otherwise.
Arthur… Well, no, it was towed into the yard. To pick it up from the yard she had to pay storage fees and so on.
Seth… That’s the point.
Arthur… It will show itself what she has done.
Seth… That is correct. But we are not dealing with your sister, we are dealing with you and what you did or don’t do are just value judgments which make little or no difference to anyone and so the answer here is quite simple. When I ask you, how are you doing? Your answer should have been horribly because you are not doing well.
Arthur… I’m doing better than I was.
Seth… Because you are just delaying that which you are not comfortable with. Notice that your statements to me were, “I don’t know if this did any good. I don’t know if I did the right thing.” What does it matter whether you did the right thing or not? We are dealing with you here and what we are dealing with is the simple idea of how one individual deals with other individuals. Eventually we will come to that in somewhat of a little longer session in terms of tonight’s lecture. But the idea here is that you are isolating yourself in terms of your own feelings and emotions. “I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. I don’t know if I am doing the wrong thing etcetera, etcetera.” So, this is a great bit of difficulty here for you because it doesn’t serve you. It becomes nonprofitable. Do you understand?
Arthur… How am I… isolating myself?
Seth… You’re isolating yourself from you.
Arthur… From me?
Seth… In other words, if you are having difficulty doing anything and what you do is you put up walls and barriers. “Did I do the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing? Am I making a correct choice? Am I hurting my sister? Am I not hurting my sister?”
All this information you box into yourself, you become isolated, your viewpoints become narrow. Do you understand?
Arthur… I think so.
Seth… Our friend Frank, do you see how this applies to you?
Frank… Do.
Seth… So again, under housekeeping here, you can hand Frank (the microphone) he is capable of holding it for himself. Do you understand that you tend to do the same thing? You A) over analyze, you will close your eyes and then try to find a way out of a precarious situation by dragging yourself deeper into the situation. And therefore, when all of a sudden you walk headlong into a tree, trip, fall, roll down a hill, standup, keep your eyes closed and walk off the edge of a cliff, you say,” I don’t know why I’m not feeling better about these things!” Do you understand?
Frank… I do but I asked for help.
Seth… We’re not questioning that you did ask for help and certainly, give us a moment, the man through whom I speak was of some assistance to you. The difference here…
Betty… How do you get yourself out of something…
Seth… We’ll come to you in a minute. The difficulty here is the idea that when you asked for help you had already placed yourself in a precarious position and instead of when you found yourself shutting your eyes walking into trees you didn’t stop immediately and say wait a minute there is something wrong.
One of the great trust issues that Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak deal with is the idea of when to trust each other to say, “I think I am in trouble.” Now their typical habits here (is to) go ahead willy-nilly and walk around and they don’t trust themselves and they don’t trust anybody else and the next thing that you know is that they are both miserable, unhappy and then they finally ask for a little bit of advice or assistance and my comments to them are, “Why did you go this far?” And their answer is “I thought I could do it myself. I had to have trust in myself.” It is all well and good to have trust in yourself.
Frank… That’s what I thought too.
Seth… I know; why do you think I stated it? Therefore, the trust in self issue in this instance is to trust yourself to know that you are getting yourself into trouble… Go ahead.
Frank… The issue with me is not so much that I got into trouble with the woman… (Frank had a conflict with a tenant.)
Seth… It was with yourself.
Frank… But it was what I did to myself afterwards and allowing it to go… a day.
Seth… Say hello to Arthur.
Frank… Hello Arthur. (Laughs.)
Seth… Say hello to Betty.
Frank… Hello Betty. (Laughs.)
Betty… (On the phone.) Hi Frank.
Seth… It’s the same principle. Would you like (to Stephanie) to say hello, too? (Stephanie laughs)
Isabella… I’m surprised I don’t have to say hello. (Isabella laughs.)
Seth… You would just prefer to make everyone else miserable.
Frank… I understand but I honestly did feel that like, “I know this, I’m going to town with this, I go to let go” and on and on.
Seth… When you got finally so desperately wet after falling off a cliff into the water.
Frank… Then I asked for help.
Seth… My question is why did you let it go that far? (Seth paused) Because… I thought…
Frank… I thought I could do it.
Seth… Could do it myself, a horrible sentence. I suggest you learn to exit that sentence from your vocabulary and one of the things you are going to find as a, I’ll put quotes around this for the three of you who are in the room; “therapist” is that you allow your patients this latitude. When they say, “Well I thought I could do this,” it is not in the question of doing or not doing it is why did you go this far with it?
Frank… Yeah, I agree. It’s just a couple of years ago there would have been no call, and I would have been here sitting here miserable for five days instead of maybe the two days.
Seth… We’re not questioning that.
Frank… And…
Seth… I’m asking the simplest of questions, let’s ask an expert. Let’s ask an expert (Frank pointed at Jasmine) Jasmine? (Everyone laughs.)
Frank… Did you know I pointed at you before he said your name?
Isabella… That was funny. (Laughter still.)
Seth… That is a cosmopolitan sense of humor that you are hearing there. I’m not forgetting about you Betty.
Jasmine… Am I supposed to answer a question now?
Seth… Yes.
Jasmine… I’m sorry, what was the question?
Seth… Our friend, Frank?
Frank… What should I have done… differently?
Seth… Asked for help much sooner.
Frank… How would I know when is enough, in terms of…
Jasmine… Attempts on your own?
Frank… One maybe initially, yes how do you know when it’s enough? How do you know when enough is enough and then you reach out for help? I don’t actually believe that initially (you should reach out for help.)
Jasmine… When I am in a panic, or I am crying (Jasmine laughs) I know it’s time for help.
Seth… That is…
Jasmine… When I can’t sleep and I’m up all night long.
Seth… that is a problem that you have as well, why do you allow it to go as far as you do without asking for assistance? Now the answer is going to be obvious but distasteful to all of you and that answer is because I enjoy it. Each of you enjoys your own dis-ease as you establish the route before you ask for help. Do you understand? Betty, do you understand that? You are guilty as anyone else.
Frank… So, for me…
Seth… Betty said, “Yes.”
Frank… it’s enjoying the analyzing.
Seth… Oh!
Frank… That’s what I enjoy. I don’t enjoy the pain…
Seth… Sure, you do.
Frank… No! I do not!
Jasmine… We all enjoy the dis-ease.
Frank… Right.
Seth… The dis-ease…
Jasmine… Not the analyzing.
Isabella… It’s not the actual dis-ease it’s the attention you get from the dis-ease.
Seth… Who gives you the attention? (People were talking at the same time.)
The people around you? The people who enjoy when you are miserable?
Isabella… I always struggle with this.
Seth… Say that again Betty, please.
Betty… How would you differentiate… if the topic is change then we are all trying to change something and what is confusing to me at this stage is how to differentiate the dis-ease of what was and the discomfort in making an effort to move forward. And that’s where I believe I get tripped up because then the tendency is to kind of at least go back to the old one and I honestly cannot always tell the difference. Am I making sense?
Seth… Let me put it to you this way, here’s a simple answer for you: Dis-ease and pain, discomfort are from a situation that you are already dealing with. Do you understand that?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Now since you are already dealing with that, you then have to understand that the idea of change itself must be prevalent. In other words, you cannot be static and progress, do you understand that?
Betty… Yeah, that’s where I am getting confused.
Seth… Now, what you are stating and confusing the idea that change must be “painful” and put painful there in quotation marks, change is. Just because you make a change does not mean that you have to like it, but you find it necessary to do something else or make it different. Do you understand?
Betty… Right, yes exactly.
Seth… Now, so you are having pain or dis-ease in situations that you are now in. You find me there; do you see where I am going?
Betty… Yeah but, okay.
Seth… Now, once you are there, the change you choose to make, getting rid of an old boyfriend, changing a job, asking for a raise, do you understand all this so far?
Betty… Yeah, but then some areas I’ve made changes in, and I am equally if not more miserable and then one runs into the next.
Seth… I understand but just because you made a change as I stated earlier does not mean that you have to like it. It just means that it is different and if it doesn’t show promise you re-change what you just did and you move on to something completely different. Do you understand so far?
Betty… I do but at what point are you basically changing the outside when it is inside, this is where I am confused.
Seth… The outside world or the inside you?
Betty… My job is like its crazy, but everything is kind of crazy here and well this plays out with my relationships with other people as well. So then, now I have an opportunity to move to another place that’s not crazy. Then I’m caught up in the guilt of abandoning all these poor people who have no services in order to possibly do what is good for me and this plays out…
Seth… (Said simultaneously.) Who is the… Excuse me, who is the most important person you know?
Betty… as well. Here I am again abandoning someone who is in need.
Seth… No. Who is the most important person you know?
Betty… I am but how do I get past the guilt?
Seth… Well, the guilt is because you erroneously believe that they matter more than you!
Isabella… Who is she really abandoning?
Seth… Do you understand?
Betty… Yes.
Seth… And what Isabella said was who are you truly abandoning? Well, you have already abandoned yourself.
Betty… Right.
Seth… So, unless you can tolerate that which obvious you can’t nor should you. Then of course you say, “I understand,” because the answer is simple. Is anyone or anything on the physical plane irreplaceable?
Betty… No.
Seth… Therefore, they will hire somebody else to do what you did. So, the first person who truly matters is of course you. Do you understand?
Betty… I do but I guess there is change and then there is I guess what is sometimes done is a geographical cure. So, I can once again make all these changes and you know I’m thinking here I’ve moved states etc. and still can’t find a comfort in myself.
Seth… Well, that’s because you are isolating yourself from you. You feel guilty about what you’re doing. You don’t go ahead and view the idea of change as being profitable. You view the idea of change as being part of the dis-ease. And that what you are doing of course is giving yourself a greater problem.
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… So, it is not a question of the inside or outside. You first deal with self. Do you understand?
Betty… Intellectually and…
Seth… I understand this is an intellectual idea but that is not the issue. So, I believe, in the long run, what you must do is to go ahead and to be faithful to you. Someone can always tell you that they need you and you are so important but if you are not faithful to yourself does it matter what anyone says?
Betty… No.
Seth… I believe you have your answer there.
Stephanie… Are you connecting the idea of liking or enjoying the pain to why I wouldn’t seek assistance earlier?
Seth… Of course. Individuals themselves and whether we get to the lecture tonight is immaterial. Individuals themselves have a tendency to delude and dilute the information that they give themselves. They delude themselves by isolating themselves, first from themselves and then from everyone else where of course in reality this is not possible.
Stephanie… You mean minimizing what’s really going on?
Seth… Or make it greater, it does not matter whether it is larger or smaller; so, people blow out of proportion, but they are so isolated, look at what is happening to me! Whether it is major or minor matters not. So, they delude themselves first then what do they do with the delusion? Well, no one of somewhat sound mind will say to themselves, “This pain is wonderful. (Stephanie is laughing.) I enjoy it,” except probably our friend Frank.
Frank… That is not true.
Seth… Now he then goes ahead and says, “I can not stand this” so you then dilute what you do by making a camouflage system around what you are doing. You give excuses for.
Stephanie… For not getting help?
Seth… For not getting help.
Stephanie… What are the excuses?
Seth… The excuses are simple, I’m busy, I can handle it myself, I want to see if the other person will come around, I understand what is going on, but nothing can be done, and they become more and more miserable in terms of that which they are accomplishing and or understanding. Go ahead Isabella; I knew it was too soon.
Isabella… I just feel like I do the opposite, I feel like I ask for help too soon and I don’t…
Seth… Different story, you are not dealing with the same thing here. When someone who is in your situation says, “Help me, do for me,” it is because they don’t have confidence in themselves to try and do it for themselves.
Isabella… Right, that is what I am saying.
Seth… We are not talking about this; we are saying that people who know that they are in trouble.
Isabella… Oh, so if I knew I was in trouble, I would always ask for help when I was in trouble!
Seth… There are times when you don’t, and you let things fester and you get angry. One of the classic examples of this is living within a community and if you will interpret what I’ve stated this evening in terms of why I state, it is much harder for you to expand your knowledge by living in a community then living alone you will understand tonight’s statements a lot better.
Isabella… About being comfortable being unhappy?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Because I just kind of let things go?
Seth… You become too lackadaisical at times, and you then constantly go ahead and look for others to assist you too quickly.
Isabella… I really honestly have not been doing that and in fact I feel that I’ve been working very hard.
Seth… Don’t confuse hard work with a major change.
Isabella… No, I understand what you are saying but I just feel like; I do feel like I have made major change.
Seth… Nobody says… you see this is a defense mechanism on your part.
Isabella… I’m just confused because you’re saying that instead I’ll fester and I become lackadaisical and I expect others to do for me but in reality, that’s not really what’s happening here. I’m not really expecting my parents to do anything for me and in fact…
Seth… So, you don’t do for yourself enough, so therefore by working by omission…
Isabella… But can you give me an example of how I don’t do something enough for myself?
Seth… For example, give us a moment; you will for example let the towels accumulate in your room into far excesses to what Jasmine would like. Two…
Isabella… But none of those towels are their towels they are from my closet.
Seth… It matters not, it still matters not; it is a question of cleanliness and health. Number two in terms of cleanliness and health it is cleaning up after your animal. Number three…
Isabella… Which I am working on.
Seth… Why the defense here? I am not accusing you in a hostile angry manner. You asked me to give you examples.
Isabella… But I figured you would have known that that was something I already accepted and that I have been… that I am…
Seth… But in using what you have already done and are working towards as examples of letting things go…
Isabella… But I was looking for an example of something I don’t recognize all that…
Seth… I wouldn’t tell you. That would give you too much information that you don’t have.
Isabella… But I know… (Stephanie was trying to give her information and Seth held up his hand, Isabella giggled.)
Seth… We’re not questioning this at all, notice I gave her the hand. (Referring to times when Isabella has felt that she is the only one being quieted or stopped from talking.)
Isabella… I know.
Seth… So, what I am stating to you is that which you do not know I shall not tell you.
Isabella… I get what you are saying about that. I think what I am more confused about is the idea of enjoying dis-ease. I don’t really understand that.
Seth… Individuals who have repeatable patterns, the person who for example who constantly says, “I feel like a cigarette; I need my drugs.” These are people who enjoy their dis-ease.
Isabella… Okay, I can only relate to myself in that respect, I don’t like being unhappy and in fact at least consciously.
Seth… That… do not go any further, you just answered your own question.
Isabella… But that’s what I don’t get if I am consciously, when I am unhappy, I don’t feel right, I’m scared, I …
Seth… And when was the last time when you were unhappy…
Isabella… That I allowed myself to be unhappy?
Seth… Yes, which is most of the time. What you don’t do…
Isabella… I rail against being unhappy.
Seth… And you rail against everyone else in the neighborhood. Instead of saying for example to Jasmine, we are just using her as an example, we could say it for our friend Frank, Kaetorina, it doesn’t matter who, “I am unhappy. I am having dis-ease,” and they are going to say, “But why?”
Now that causes you to open your focus to look at the void you are creating so that you as an individual may proceed to promote yourself. Instead of boxing yourself off, you expand.
Isabella… I do feel like I do that though when I am having dis-ease.
Seth… You only do it when you become so angry and frustrated that you lash out and then people answer you back in a harsh tone and you lash out against that, not realizing the fact that you like our friend Frank have walked into about six hundred, seven hundred trees and have fallen off a cliff. When you know things are not correct…
Isabella… At the first inking of something being wrong…
Seth… State it! And that goes for everyone. And our therapists here must give that information on. Do you understand, Betty?
Betty… I missed the last part.
Seth… What I stated was at the first sign of dis-ease, being uncomfortable, state it! Do you understand, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Em hmm.
Isabella… What if you don’t know what is bothering you?
Seth… It matters not. You now have made an open-ended statement to the universe, “I am not satisfied!”
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… And therefore, once you make a statement that you are not satisfied you then open up lines of information and lines of study that you may draw upon to promote yourself. Go ahead.
Stephanie… Well, what if it is everyday?
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… So, what if it is just routine? You are going to do that every single time something bothers you?
Seth… Well, lets, it depends on what it is.
Stephanie… Anything, Peter, Natalie, Bill, this, that.
Seth… It’s not Peter, Natalie, Bill, this or that.
Stephanie… Yeah, something will happen… (Stephanie giggles.)
Seth… It’s not Peter, Natalie, this or that. When you as an individual find that there is something that is repeatedly bothering you, you already know what the difficulty is because assuming that you have done it in the past to open yourself up and state, “This is bothering me.” Well let me ask you a simple question.
Stephanie… You mean it’s familiar?
Seth… Correct. When Peter has difficulties or Natalie has difficulties in school and you speak to your friends, you speak to the man through whom I speak, you go ahead and talk to another teacher you then have an ability to understand what’s going on as it is happening. What you are confusing here, what you are confusing here (Said emphatically.) is that a life itself is never always happy and that should be underlined. An incarnation does not only have happy moments. It has difficulties, it has sadness, it has something being uncomfortable as well as glorious and splendorous things that go on. So, you must learn judgment. Do you think that Peter’s OCD will cure itself tomorrow?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Therefore, he will bother you, will he not?
Stephanie… It will, yes.
Seth… So oft times things that are not in your realm of understanding or control are often repeatable because they are not part of your play, underline that because they are not part of your play (said slowly with emphasis.) Write that down. And since they are not part of your play… (Jasmine asked to have dictation (about what is repeatable) repeated and the group did.)
As an example, here Jasmine, if I was to ask you to give me ten instances that your sister has put herself first and not cared about you, could you do it?
Jasmine… Sure.
Seth… Absolutely could. My question is simply this: are they bothersome to you? Be fair, now.
Jasmine… Yes, very much so.
Seth… Can you control them?
Jasmine… No, I cannot.
Seth… And since you cannot control them are they then understandable to you? Not likeable but understandable that she routinely places herself first.
Jasmine… Are they understandable to me?
Seth… Yes.
Jasmine… I guess so.
Seth… What do you mean you, “guess so” they either are, or they are not.
Jasmine… I guess yes, they are.
Seth… Of course, they are understandable; she feels that she is better than…
Isabella… That’s who she is.
Seth… And what she does. Now once you understand this, you do not have to like this, you do not have to enjoy this, what you have to do and all of you have to do is to go ahead and once you understand something that you do not like or enjoy learn to let it pass you by. Don’t participate with it.
Stephanie… But that’s doing nothing about it.
Seth… There are times that you can do nothing about it. There are times when you may choose to say something, “Why did you do this? Why did you do that? Why are you putting yourself first?” but my question to you is that going to stop the person from that repeatable behavior?
Stephanie… No, but that’s why you don’t seek assistance because it’s not your play, so you feel hopeless…
Seth… Of course, you do…
Stephanie… You can do nothing.
Seth… But that’s not the issue. The issue is when you are feeling miserable when her sister does something about this, do you fester for three, four, five, six weeks?
Stephanie… No
Seth… Do you work yourself up into a frenzy becoming afraid, fearful, have your stomach hurt, have yourself throw up routinely or do you go ahead and state, “I understand this, I don’t have to participate in this? That’s their play I am going to make statements that benefit me, and I don’t have to worry about somebody else.”
Stephanie… Right, but the seeking assistance would be talking to somebody else.
Seth… Immediately when it happens.
Stephanie… Even when you cannot control it.
Seth… You are never going to be able to control someone else in terms of what they do or do not do. Can you?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… How often are you able to control Natalie, okay when she decides, “I am tired I can’t work and I don’t want to learn, do it for me Mommy?”
Stephanie… No, I can’t control that.
Seth… No, you can’t. You can only say I am not doing it for you, then of course it’s up to her and that’s the same issue. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right, but every time something you feel bothers you is…
Seth… It depends, if it becomes so repeatable you understand it immediately even if you are bothered you can turn to somebody and state, “My sister did it again. Peter did it again; I really wish they could change. Well, what am I going to do?”
Stephanie… But how do you know it is not going to be diluting?
Seth… Because you are telling it to somebody else.
Stephanie… Okay, then it’s not yourself?
Seth… Not yourself, you are telling to somebody else.
Stephanie… If you are not telling it to somebody else?
Seth… If you are not telling it to somebody else, you are boxing yourself into a small little box that allows you no room for freedom.
Stephanie… Right, so the idea where my mother came on Monday and I, you know I feel very disconnected from her now because everything that has gone on so, you know she…
Seth… Let me ask you a question, give us a moment. Is Margret (Stephanie’s mother.) ever going to ever truly change?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Do you believe that she will continue on in certain types of flighty behavior, behavior that doesn’t seem to make sense to you?
Stephanie… Yeah, she’s always going to continue that.
Seth… She’s always going to continue that; well can you change it?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Will it bother you?
Stephanie… I’m sure it will.
Seth… Now once it bothers you, you can say, “I cannot believe how foolish my mother is.”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… “I can’t believe that she won’t stand up for herself. She looks for the easy way out.” That’s perfectly fine if you say it to somebody else but what you first do is you first go ahead put yourself in a little box, get angry, frustrated, bothered, annoyed, “Why won’t my mother protect me? Why won’t my mother help me? Why won’t? Why won’t? Why won’t?” And that is the void that you are starting to create instead of saying, “I love my mother, but she’s just nuts.”
You see the difference? And when you say that to yourself and you say, let me bother our friend Frank about this. I can’t belief, you know my mother this is what she did!”
It is the same instance here when the man through whom I speak knows that Shirley Sarah drinks. Can he stop her from drinking? The answer is of course: No!
Isabella… He thinks he can.
Seth… It’s not a question of that; it is a question of he can delay it, he can space it out, he can take away that which she had which is his choice. But the truth of the matter is that if he doesn’t do these things and something happens to her…
Isabella… Then he’ll feel bad.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Well, I guess in my situation with Mom or Jasmine… ah…
Seth… Why don’t you call her “her”?
Isabella… Her, I can’t obviously, I mean you and I talked about this today, Steph, about being able to accept people for who they are, and it is very interesting that you say the same thing about your mother and is kind of what I am saying about Mom, you know? It’s very hard to recognize your parent’s faults, I think, and to be able to accept…
Seth… Do you think it is easy for them to recognize your faults?
Isabella… Of course, no. I absolutely do not.
Seth… It does work in both directions; one must be cognizant of that.
Isabella… I obviously agree with that, but I think it is very hard to come to an acceptance place about that, I mean, do you…
Seth… Who do you have to accept first?
Isabella… Yourself.
Seth… And by your statement just then have you accepted yourself? … What was your statement?
Isabella… It’s hard to accept others? I was, what do you mean?
Seth… If you, for example, in your statement before do not allow for the fact that others, whoever the other is has their own play, their own agenda. And although you don’t like it, you see fault in them, by you’re getting angry and bothered you box yourself off. You are not accepting what is. So therefore, you victimize you.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, when that happens, when it goes on because this is a hurtful thing to you, first of all you should tell another and second of all you then state to the person who is bothering you in a fair and just manner, “Why are you doing this to me?” Which is something you do not do.
Isabella… But what if it is not…
Seth… You become accusatory, you become argumentative, and you become angry. How does a person respond to you when you are angry? With what?
Isabella… Anger.
Seth… Does that serve a useful purpose?
Isabella… No. But what if it is not anger? No, what if it is not something that they are doing to me? What if it is just who they are?
Seth… It is the same thing because you are taking it as a personal thing.
Isabella… You know what I mean? No, it’s not taking it as a personal thing.
Seth… Of course, it is. If your mother for example tells you that your room is constantly messy or that you didn’t clean up after your animal…
Isabella… That’s not even what I am referring to. I am referring to…
Jasmine… She doesn’t like who I am.
Isabella… No, that is not what I am saying. You can interpret it that way all you want. There are things about someone’s character that you have a hard time accepting, for example I would have loved my mother to have been a strong role model for me and sometimes I feel she is not as strong and that upsets me greatly.
Seth… Whose problem is it?
Isabella… It’s my problem.
Seth… Correct. Can you change someone else?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Then since you cannot change someone else, since you do not have the ability to make them different unless you’re The All That There Is…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… and she /he will not, therefore what are you being upset about? You have to learn to accept individuals as they are. It would be nice if… It would be good if… but if the person can’t, for example could your brother run a mile now? Would you be angry at him now because he is not running a mile?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Therefore, since he cannot physically do something, you are putting the mental in a different category and that is not an honorable affair of you.
Isabella… You’re right I do see it differently, the mental capacity as opposed to the physical capacity, absolutely. Umm… yeah, I do definitely see that differently.
Seth… (Said softly to Frank) Good one, wasn’t it?
Frank… (Softly back) Yeah it was. (I find that most people view physical limitations very differently than mental limitations. We are not so forgiving of our own and other’s mental and emotional limitations. FN)
Isabella… Because… yeah, I do, I see it differently.
Seth… It’s something that you must learn to put a value judgment on.
Now our friend Frank when we eventually come back from break, I asked him and I will have him speak after the break of the idea of Value Fulfillment here and this will tie into what you had dealt with here with your question and I think that will be of immense help for you and in terms of the lecture this evening I believe that most of you got far more out of our discussion if you will, than a lecture. I’m not finished…
Isabella… But before you go, I am still having trouble with understanding the enjoyment of dis-ease?
Seth… I will cover that again and part of this is tied in with Value Fulfillment. Again, you do nothing repeatedly that you don’t find some self satisfaction in.
Isabella… Repeat!
Seth… You do nothing repeatedly that you do not find self satisfaction in. Notice that it doesn’t have to make you happy. An example of that is easily seen in Lee Chang.
Isabella… So why do you do it? That’s the question, that’s what I don’t get.
Seth… It is a learning experience and how you are choosing to learn something.
Frank… But what to do? I mean do you need to really get a better handle on what you are enjoying? So, you can say I don’t really enjoy this!
Isabella… Right.
Seth… It’s not a handle, that’s analyzing, stop.
Frank… Ach!!!
Seth… Stop. What I am simply saying is, write this down, big letters…
Frank… Big letters.
Seth… STOP ANALYZING TRY UNDERSTANDING. If you do something that is repeatable and you do it over and over again, you enjoy what you are doing for whatever reason you are doing it.
Isabella… Are we misinterpreting the word “enjoy”?
Jasmine… Absolutely.
Seth… No, enjoyment does not necessarily mean happy wonderful, but you are getting satisfaction from it.
Stephanie… Maybe you are getting attention because you…
Seth… Or you are enjoying…
Isabella… No, I don’t even think it’s the physical plane, are we talking more spiritually?
Seth… No, I am talking in general.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You do not have to…
Betty… You may be acting like a martyr. You’re getting, I guess, some sense of self esteem out of that.
Seth… You may get some of self esteem, you may not.
Betty… Or whatever. I mean, it seems like one of the more palatable defects.
Seth… Not the issue. I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Let us continue: this session itself should be mandatory reading for everyone and the reason I am stating this is quite simple. Each of you has vested interest in self yet when you come into conflict with others, you will notice how each of you put yourselves into some sort of little box and you wall yourself off and you become nonproductive, you become angry and frustrated, you blame the other and now there is a conflict between two people. One must be faithful to themselves first and since you cannot change another, if somebody does something that bothers you, state that it bothers you! It is also interesting to note that if you look back at the ten years or so I have been doing these lectures I have made more difficult comments to each of you than you could ever possibly imagine. Yet, some of you have been annoyed or bothered by my statements. However, you all come around and understand what I am saying eventually. So, I have no vested interest in whether you listen, ignore, partially listen or just forget about what I stated. And since I have no vested interest the question arises, why do I not have any interest at all and the answer is simple; because you will eventually whether this life or the next or next come to understand that I was correct. So, if somebody tells you something that is not to your liking ask yourself the following question: Does it have some validity in it? If it does you may act on it however you choose to do. For the person is only stating their wishes and since they are only stating their wishes you can do what you choose and that I believe is the answer to a great many of the discussions you had around the table this evening. And for our friend Frank you will type up this session before you do anything else and the reason for that is because you require it.
Frank… I understand.
Seth… Notice how happy you are.
Frank… Well, I don’t like the, you know, “you’ll understand at some point, if not this lifetime…”!
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Well, is it not factual?
Frank… It’s completely factual, I don’t care to, I don’t have to… like it.
Seth… I don’t care whether you like it or not if it is factual.
Frank… I’d like to understand it now.
Seth… Well, I believe you should analyze this and spend six or seven years and fall down another cliff. (There was some laughter.) And that is the truth whether you go ahead and accept it or not. It is not for me to like something or not like something. Let’s ask a simple question: is my line of a study better off creating something or better off lecturing students who are at times not appreciative and who are resentful at my words or have difficulty in understanding them or who are bored and tired and walk upstairs?
Jasmine… I didn’t walk upstairs.
Seth… I didn’t say you were.
Frank… Well obviously, it would be the latter as well otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.
Seth… No, I have given my word to individuals who you could not understand or know and is part of what I do in terms of you will excuse the expression, “spreading the wealth”. I told individuals that I am a very harsh task master. I do not allow things to slip by easily.
(Frank said something like Yeah, I step in them.)
You certainly have. There are other individuals who are in my position who are much more lenient. They have discussions with me, and I have discussions with them. We each have our own styles, yet all of our students eventually get there, and I believe you understand. Are there any questions?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… I believe Isabella you should sit down and listen.
Arthur… First a clarification when you were talking about to Jasmine the difference between her sister placing herself first, clearly is not equal to promoting self in the way that you said it. There is a difference between those two.
Seth… No, you promote yourself in a fair and just manner but when you place yourself ahead of somebody and you become more important than they are that is not a… (Both Isabella and Arthur spoke.) I can answer for myself ladies and gentleman. It is not a situation that gives anyone profit.
Arthur… Thank you. When I answered you earlier, I had also talked to, I called gamblers anonymous, I talked to my friend Laurie, I talked to my sister, I talked to my friend John. Is that not asking for help or is that not the opening the…
Seth… It is not a question of asking for help, it is an opening a line of communication because you are gathering information.
Arthur… It is?
Seth… It is, however, the person who must change their habits which has nothing to do with you, is your sister. Whether she chooses to live on the street, whether she becomes a bag lady, whether she becomes a prostitute, whether she becomes someone who is on heavy drugs, whether she ends up in a mental institution or someone kills her has nothing to do with you. You are not to become responsible for another’s actions because you can’t control them. Unless you are going to physically chain your sister into your home and only allow her freedom of movement when you are with her, what can you do? Therefore, all your actions must then focus upon self and have nothing to do with her in terms of how do I deal with the problem. It’s how you do it; it’s not how she does it which is the same thing that Isabella must learn. It is how she does it and has nothing to do with Jasmine. It is the same exact principle. Do you understand?
Arthur… Yes, I do.
Seth… Go ahead.
Arthur… When you told me once about my sister-in-law and to ask her how have I harmed you and I made such a big piece of dis-ease (Laughing) for myself and shingles, I am going to see my sister-in-law (Again laughing) this weekend for the first time and I just wondering about that experience…
Seth… Do you feel the necessity to ask the question?
Arthur… I don’t know.
Seth… Well, if you don’t know, if you don’t know.
Arthur… I don’t feel the necessity… I guess it depends on how she treats me; if she treats me as if I harmed her.
Seth… Well, isn’t that your answer?
Arthur… I guess. I’ll see.
Seth… Then why are you asking the question, you already know the answer.
Arthur… I know I want to know if there is something I should be alerted to. It just occurred to me I am walking…
Seth… I would suggest driving, you should be alert. Other than that, you know you have to determine for yourself what is going on.
Arthur… And it will be interesting.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… Could you help me out…
Seth… I thought I escaped.
Isabella… No, can you help me out with the umm, I apologize (To Frank because a question means more typing.)
Frank… For what? Oh, don’t worry about it, I’m just going to be typing, typing. It’s just a matter of what. (Frank had several tapes he took from Jerry to type.)
Isabella… I feel your pain. (Stephanie is laughing.) I am curious if you could help me understand why I went into a panic when I couldn’t hear from George. Because it was, I accept that it was completely irrational, but I really have not had that kind of fear, worry about somebody…
Seth… Whose behavior are you modeling yourself after? (Paused and then said slowly with emphasis.) Whose behavior are you…
Isabella… Jasmine.
Seth… Correct. What else do you want to know?
Isabella… But it was so… I couldn’t even control it.
Seth… So?
Isabella… That bothered me so much.
Seth… I understand but…
Isabella… I felt so out of control.
Seth… You were out of control.
Isabella… I was like completely in a panic.
Seth… Let me ask you a question.
Isabella… For no reason.
Seth… Not the issue, when you go out of control, whether it be about worrying about someone else, a spoon, cleaning up after yourself, an animal, empting a dish washer, getting a newspaper in, making coffee, it doesn’t matter what the situation is. Learning to live within a community, it does not matter. When you are out of control who should I feel sorry for? The people who you victimize…
Isabella… Me
Seth… Of course, I feel sorry for you because you are not in control, however when you recognize that you are not in control and then do nothing.
Isabella… I tried to do something tonight. I went for help.
Seth… We’re not questioning that.
Isabella… But my question is why did I go to that place, why did I go there?
Seth… Because you role play at times. You are attempting to change yourself and one of the things that you will come to learn as times pass is that there are certain behaviors you can adopt, certain behaviors you will discard…
Isabella… I can’t do this, that behavior I can’t have.
Seth… Then you won’t do it again. You learn at times by participating in a negative line of study. To me it would be more profitable if you observed it and didn’t participate in it. So, you participated in it at this point.
Isabella… It was almost like…
Seth… An overwhelmingly fear that you wanted to get nauseous and throw up.
Isabella… But it was so…
Seth… It was real.
Isabella… I couldn’t…
Seth… Why are you criticizing what you did when you can have an ability to learn from it? Please explain that to me?
Isabella… Because it was so irrational.
Seth… So, what! Do you have to be rational always?
Isabella… No, but number one, I don’t even know why I was worrying about him that much?
Seth… Because it matters not; it’s not the issue.
Isabella… I don’t like feeling that way. I don’t like feeling that worried about something.
Seth… Excuse me, you have done this routinely.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Whether it be with your husband, whether it be with George in this instance, whether it be about cleaning up a spoon, your tendency is to go overboard.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… So, when you learn this behavior is not profitable, when anyone learns that a behavior is not profitable, (Seth tapped at Stephanie’s notebook indicating to write.) when anybody learns their behavior is not profitable, that’s three times writing that, you will then have an ability to ask yourself the question: Since it is not profitable why am I repeating it?
Isabella… I feel like with the situations with the household and the cleaning and that kind of stuff, I have more control over my reactions.
Seth… What have you just learned? You’ve just given yourself the answer but now the question is? Can you figure it out?
Isabella… That I have control?
Seth… I’m not going to help you.
Isabella… No, I understand what you’re saying but in this case with the worrying piece, it was like it came on me automatically. It wasn’t like, then I tried to control myself, I tried to breath, I tried to tell myself I was being stupid, and you know that I was being irrational, and I tried talking to myself, all my strategies, I tried meditating, clearing, cleansing, whatever you want to say and I just could not calm down.
Seth… The universe provides you with an invaluable lesson.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Now figure it out.
Isabella… Of how to calm the pattern?
Seth… No figure out why it happened. Figure out why you did this, and it is the same reason why…
Isabella… To learn self-control.
Seth… Correct. So now that you understand that and that is only partially the answer you will look at, I didn’t clean the spoon differently, you will look at I didn’t clean up after the animal correctly, you will look at somebody said something that bothered me in a different manner. When you can control something, you will, when you have to learn when you can’t control something what to do with it. Can you control what somebody else says to you and of course the answer is, “No!”
Isabella… But how do you control an automatic physical reaction?
Seth… By understanding, knowledge and consciously understanding gives you the answer of what to do.
Isabella… So, knowledge of why I was worried about him?
Seth… And what to do with it. Let’s give our microphone to our friend Frank so he can delve into some of the Value Fulfillment situation which will certainly help.
Jasmine… I have a question.
Seth… Go ahead.
Jasmine… One is can you give me any insight into suggestions or whatever that may be helpful in my conversations with my mother?
Seth… Speak slowly, do not raise your voice, state clearly that which you want, and you desire, ask questions. (Jasmine then repeated with the help of group and wrote down the above.) Instead of the word “want” use the word “need”.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… And remember agreement is not necessary, next question.
Jasmine… I have been having some hair thinning problems that have been ongoing for many years now already, and I was just wondering…
Seth… Dis-ease is mostly the cause.
Jasmine… Is there anything you can suggest I do?
Seth… How often do you meditate?
Jasmine… No, never.
Seth… That’s the first thing we will come back to it when you start doing it.
Jasmine… Okay.
Stephanie… The hair will come back when you start doing it?
Frank… Stephanie is ready to go on a retreat! (Laughter.)
Seth… Go ahead, Frank.
Frank… Okay, from the two volumes on Value Fulfillment…
Seth… Quite good books, I recommend them highly.
Seth… Even this cup knows where it is, where it came from and what it will become. It is a sense of overriding understanding of consciousness.
Frank… Okay, then I went on with: Value Fulfillment is the creative force, the creative need to grow, to try out possibilities and paths utilizing various strengths, weaknesses and gifts.
Seth… Is that not what we have spoken about this evening?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Value Fulfillment is all inclusive in whatever you do.
Frank… It is what propels us to become more than what we were and are.
Seth… You live in the ever-expanding-now.
Frank… One knows Value Fulfillment is in play by the pleasure it engenders, for example in fun, play and accomplishment.
Seth… Correct.
Frank… The lack of Value Fulfillment or possibility for Value Fulfillment leads to the ending of an incarnation or even the ending of a species or a world.
Seth… Not only that but each of you when you have a lack of Value Fulfillment you create a void, an emptiness! So, when you (To Jasmine) go ahead and speak to your mother, do not create a void. State what you require from her and understand you are valuable to her as you are to yourself. If you make yourself less valuable, then she will see you as less valuable and that is the same for you (Stephanie) too.
Stephanie… With my mother?
Seth… Of course.
Frank… So, and this was what I had worked on and then the universe gave me in a fortune cookie, “You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment.”
And then…
Seth… Notice it didn’t say analyze anything.
Frank… No, (Frank laughs.) that’s on the back, “Learn Chinese.” And then in a communication, I was just going through stuff and in a communication via Stephanie to me (From Seth.) was a definition of Value Fulfillment from maybe four years ago: Value Fulfillment means that you are satisfied with whatever course of action you are taking because it provides growth and development of the spirit.
Seth… That is correct from that brilliant person.
Frank… Yes, you said it, I know. (Laughter.)
Seth… Do you understand now the concepts that we have provided this evening… through that?
Isabella… Yeah, because it’s about, I feel it is about being proud of your self and valuing…
Seth… that which you are.
Isabella… And what you have accomplished and…
Seth… Does anyone have to pat you on the back and say good job?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Then stop looking for it.
Isabella… Good point.
Seth… I knew I’d get there eventually. Any other questions?
Frank… I have a different question. In terms of my trying to shift sleeping schedule can you give me a little help in terms of…
Seth… Are you comfortable with it or not?
Frank… I was comfortable with the creativity of it but then… see I think I had difficulty separating the incident I had over the weekend…
Seth… Analyzing.
Frank… (Isabella said something to Frank.) I’m not sure if I am comfortable… hmm?
Seth… If you are not comfortable with something due to other incidents…
Frank… Right.
Seth… Very simply go back to an old thing you’ve had and come back to this one, change that. You are not locked into anything and that which you do not find suitable on Tuesday may you find very suitable on Thursday.
Frank… That’s what I did last night; I thought I would go back. Just as a follow up question and I guess I could try it; would it make sense to try and schedule out consistent time for the nap?
Seth… Why? Be open. Be free. Stop walking into trees.
Frank… Okay.
Isabella… I have a question concerning my diet program. I am really enjoying it. I am getting very into it. However, I am not expecting instant results, I accept that about myself already, but I am not seeing the loss that I would like to. And I am just curious if there is something else, is there something I am doing incorrectly, or should I just stick with it and ultimately see what happens?
Seth… First of all, I believe somewhere along the line you should look into a nutritionist so that they can monitor what you are putting into your mouth and what you are not, number one. Number two, remember when you are physically building bulk and strength whether it be cardiovascular bulk and strength whether it be weightlifting bulk and strength and certainly women should do a tremendous amount of weight training because it will tend to prevent osteoporosis, therefore women achieve osteoporosis by becoming themselves frail and weak in their own minds. So, and when you become frail and weak what do you give up? You give up your bone strength so that you have dis-ease in that area. Therefore, what you have to do is understand that when you are creating bulk and strength, the question is, do you look better? Do you feel better? Are your clothes looser? All these things…
Isabella… Not really yet.
Seth… Well, how long have you been doing this? A day, a month a year, about five years?
Isabella… Probably about a month.
Seth… So, what do you expect? If you are creating bulk and strength, what do you expect?
Isabella… Well, I was expecting that my clothes would fit me a little better.
Seth… Do they fit a little better?
Isabella… Maybe a little better. (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Next question?
Isabella… But my, my…
Seth… But we’re done, we are done with this question.
Isabella… But minor wise. But I am just asking if there is anything…
Seth… I’ve given you what you should do.
Isabella… Fine. (In a whine like tone.)
Seth… Fine. (In a whine like tone in return.)
Arthur… Can you give me any information about the words that came in the face in my meditation “Shri lasa”.
Seth… No that is something you have to look for.
Are there any other questions? Yes Frank, go ahead, don’t wave it off.
Frank… No, I was thinking I’m going to have to type it.
Seth… No, (Laughter most prominently Isabella’s.) that is not an excuse.
Isabella… I know how you feel!
Frank… I actually wanted to back up to the session on the six concepts, just a little something on why do they seem so perfectly suited for couples and self and other in terms of change?
Seth… I want you to think about this in a much broader sense than the question allows you to.
Frank… Okay.
Seth… Those concepts themselves are applicable to all who inhabit the physical plane. One of the things I was going to speak about tonight and I will do this lecture upon our next meeting is the idea that, are you alone? And the answer is and people delve into this into an amazing amount of stupidity if you are sitting in a room by yourself, are you alone? And the answer is, “no” because you are still dependent upon people who give you electricity, people who deliver your food. If you are sitting out in the wilderness for twenty-five years and never see another individual, are you alone? And the answer is, “no”; you are not alone because there are individuals who help plant trees, who put out forest fires. You are never alone. You are always interlocked. First of all, with self, spiritual guides, higher planes of existence. We will deal with this next time so I believe that that will certainly give you a little food for thought. Aren’t you glad you asked the question now? You can analyze it over the next week. (Stephanie laughs.)
Isabella… If I volunteer to type up that lecture, can I have an extension on the other?
Seth… No, but you will type up the next lecture because you just stated it.
Isabella… No, I said if I volunteered.
Seth… You just did.
Isabella… Can I have a little bit of extra time in two weeks?
Seth… Oh, you mean to type up that lecture? Yes. I will allow that.
Isabella… Because I think that’s…
Seth… Two and a half? Three? Four?
Isabella… important for me. (There is kidding that is hard to hear.)
Seth… Do you understand?
Frank… Yeah, everything has to do with self and other and it all.
Seth… I believe that you forget that.
Frank… Yeah. (Said softly and others are laughing good naturedly.)
Seth… Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this, the idea that one is responsible for another’s happiness, another’s well-being isolates you, gives you dis-ease, causes anger and frustration. Your wants increase, your viewpoints become narrowed, your egocentric view of who and what you are and how others play into your dynamic situation causes you nothing but grief. Be true to self, cause yourself to be on point meaning centered. Your needs will be met, and you will feel joy from that which you create. Anger at self and others increases your wants; pleasure and love magnifies your needs. You have the choice, and it is yours and yours alone. I bid you all a most hardy good evening.
(Session ended 10:11 P.M.)
