Seth 379
Hard Work and Change
Tuesday July 8, 2008
8:50 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have you with us again. Jasmine, how are you doing?
Jasmine… Fine.
Seth… You feel stronger and better?
Jasmine… Stronger and better? I am not sure what you mean by that?
Seth… In your general condition, mentally speaking, do you feel stronger, more self-assured and better?
Jasmine… Mentally I feel better and stronger, yes.
Seth… Good, therefore you just volunteered to type this session, congratulations.
Jasmine… Great.
Seth… We will give you approximately four weeks to do this. Is that fair for you?
Jasmine… I’ll do my best.
Seth… Make sure. Other than that: We have been speaking on the subject of Change and within that context we have covered two portions of that which makes you a person. We will get to the third this evening, but we shall first go around the table and have each of you describe what you can of the first two portions about what enables you to become better than what you are. Kaetorina, you may start the two things for you.
Stephanie… You mean that you talked about?
Seth… Well, that might be interesting. (Stephanie laughs.)
Stephanie… Um, I remember…
Seth… First do you remember what they are?
Stephanie… Well not exactly, I remember sincerity…
Seth… And?
Stephanie… I don’t remember the other one.
Frank… Can I help?
Seth… Sure.
Frank… Commitment?
Stephanie… Commitment? Oh.
Seth… Commitment was first.
Stephanie… Okay, so yeah.
Seth… I can see that you have been doing your homework, (Stephanie laughing.) and you have really been paying attention to what’s going on.
Stephanie… I have, I have nothing going on in my life at all. (Laughs.)
Seth… And you haven’t finished typing the last session that you were supposed to.
Stephanie… Almost, I’m at the questions.
Seth… Almost is not complete.
Stephanie… So, what do you want me to say about those two things?
Seth… I’d like to know what you remember and what you learned from them.
Stephanie… That you cannot be a whole person and succeed at happiness unless um, you act…
Seth… You haven’t looked at this at all. Nor have you chosen to understand anything that I (Stephanie giggled.) have given you.
Stephanie… If I reread it right now I would.
Seth… I’m not asking that (Another Stephanie giggle.) so let us now pass…
Stephanie… I mean I understand what sincerity is.
Seth… That’s not necessarily correct. So why don’t we pass this along to you and we will then go ahead and give it to Jasmine.
Jasmine… Okay, well the commitment part for me was very powerful. It helped to solidify for me that doing for myself which is the key to my being happy here on the physical plane in this incarnation would be determined by the strength of my commitment to follow through on those types of things, not asking for help when I could do it myself. And the other part about the commitment aspect was even hearing about it from points of view of others around the table, their, the things that they needed to be committed to, to help them change resonated also and made sense to me. Such as Isabella needing to be able to stand on her own two feet, not needing to be cared for, giving up things that were painful to you and being able to stay with it, being committed to your plan, the plan you made us, create for ourselves, to reread those sessions and to reread the plan and I found that extremely helpful. The…
Seth… When was the last time, remember the work that I assigned you to reread and at least two times a week, how are you doing with that?
Jasmine… I would say that I haven’t been as diligent as I was initially, but I have been reading it at least once or twice a week and my program I know by heart! So, I will say it, I will go over it in the car very often and I know the order of it actually. So, I can go over it and I do.
Seth… But it is the reading that is meant to help for you. Pass it on to our person who is…
Jasmine… You don’t want me to talk about the sincerity?
Seth… Well, if you would like to, certainly.
Jasmine… Well, I just felt the sincerity part made a tremendous amount of sense because you can’t be committed to something if you are not sincere about it. It’s like you know the person, we talked about it how people delude themselves into thinking that they are committed, and they say, Oh! I have made changes and I have made progress, and they really haven’t and they argue about it, you know. And they try and convince themselves and everybody else that they’ve really made progress when they really haven’t. The sincerity of the commitment to the change brings that into focus, that part.
Seth… Our friend Frank.
Frank… For me the commitment is related to discipline, discipline to stay on facing the thing you need to face. The issue of sincerity is the idea of truly being open and recognizing the need to make a change, to not lie to oneself and go along your way with that lie. And to essentially add it with the discipline so that you’re staying on point. That there is stick-to-it-ness and honesty.
Arthur… For me the commitment part, the first thing that occurs to me about that is my not squandering and to go beyond my comfort zone and to be dedicated to that and I don’t know what I missed here last week. I don’t know if that was the sincerity piece? (Someone said that it was.) Okay. And that was sincerity? Okay so I missed that, and I would like to borrow somebody’s notes if I may.
Seth… The question is very simple, I have covered two out of my three points about how to make yourself in terms of a whole or better person than what you are, to achieve your goals and the answer that Kaetorina who failed miserably in the past what were the two issues you had to cover and how are you doing with them?
Isabella… So, commitment and sincerity.
Seth… If that’s what you remember they are.
Isabella… That’s what they are.
Seth… Talk about it.
Isabella… I guess for me the commitment piece, they kind of go hand and hand for me, commitment and sincerity. But commitment has always been an issue for me, stick-to-it-ness, to be able to stay with something long enough so that I can reap the benefits of it. And I think ultimately this commitment to change for me and the idea of committed change, committed change, committed change and the idea that I am not deceiving myself into believing that I am changing or making changes when I’m really not. And so that would be the sincerity piece, the being able to be truthful to myself in every aspect about how far I’ve come and yet feel good about those things but understand that it is not a race and I have to remind myself of those things and not live in the air of deception. And really the commitment piece, to be committed to the task that I have you know been reaching out to for help in my commitment to change such as meditating, doing beauty and happiness meditations, reading, reading “The Secret” and doing the nine points. Which the two of you need to work on by the way. (Meaning Jerry and Stephanie, Isabella had been speaking to Seth earlier.) And eventually starting “The Nature of Personal Reality” and so I just feel like all of those pieces are kind of coming together and I am feeling stronger. And saying, being committed to saying the affirmation that I created for myself while you have given me one, I also have created one of my own that I think is really working. And so, in that area I do feel like I am committed to change and being truthful to myself with how far I have come but yet how far I have to go.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… Well Frank helped me out with the word discipline. I still feel very stuck. I mean I continue to feel that I go through motions, but I am unconnected to a sense of making any kind of change and there is a part of me that struggles with apathy or I have done this, I have read this, but I just continue to go keeping one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it’s one step forward, two back. I’m in a stuck place with both. I mean can understand it, I can look to the end of the problem, make the commitment, go through the motions, I’m not connecting to it. And in terms of sincerity, I mean that’s my truth. I’m doing quote what I am supposed to. It’s not happening yet.
Seth… Okay. We have dealt with the first two and it is obvious that all of you require the third piece of the puzzle for you cannot commit to anything, you cannot be sincere about that which you feel strongly about unless you are committed to the idea of hard work. For without hard work none can succeed. Within this context the delusions that individuals create become so massive that most cannot and will not find their true path. (The group went back and forth around getting dictation correct.) You will find it at the end please.
Now, when you are attempting to make a change, one must have as within a journey a starting point. One must begin to look at themselves. You must find the road, the cycle that you are on. Have you noticed that for most events and procedures, ideas tend to repeat themselves? It is this repetition that one must view and then decide to end. If you do not end you cannot have a new beginning. While this statement seems simple in itself it is highly complex.
Stephanie… You mean the ending of a negative repeatable pattern?
Seth… Read the whole statement please.
Stephanie… If you do not end you cannot have a new beginning.
Seth… Do you understand that statement? In other words, you are looking to make a difference, a change, an alteration, correct?
Jasmine… Alright, let me just go back and read. It says, when attempting to make a change one must have as within a journey…
Seth… A beginning.
Jasmine… a starting point. One must begin to look at self. You must find the road, the cycle you are on. Have you noticed that for most events and procedures, ideas may tend to repeat themselves? It is this repetition one must review (“view” was the word used by Seth.) and then decide to end. End the repetition of (Unclear.) If you don’t end you cannot have a new beginning. While this statement seems simple by itself it is highly complex.
Seth… Correct. What do you not understand with this?
Jasmine… So just to say in my own voice. If you want us to have a change, you have to recognize the repetitions of the pattern and or the ideas or the events and you have to decide to end them.
Seth… Let us use a very simple example for you, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… Hold the microphone. You routinely tell yourself tht things are too much for you, too difficult, too hard especially in physical labor.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… Give us a moment… one of the clear examples of this is the idea tht you did not and would not truly like to engage in a long golf game.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… Yet what happened today?
Jasmine… I was able to play for five hours without a problem.
Seth… And it was very hot weather. That is a beginning because you decided today to end that which you were routinely doing. Do you understand now?
Stephanie… You mean she wouldn’t have done it?
Seth… She would have complained, she would have gone ahead and come home exhausted. She would have gone ahead and not only said that you were exhausted as you just did but you would have immediately given yourself further degradation if you will. You would have gone ahead and felt poorly about yourself and how you played and what you did, yet none of this occurred because you made a new beginning. Now whether you continue with that new beginning as anyone goes through this and most of this should be written down because you are missing the general idea here. When you make a new beginning the question arises how hard will you work? It is the delusion here that causes great difficulties. The delusion is I am doing it but in reality, you are not. One may say if one looks at a change, are you doing your best? Now, for most individuals they would state, yes, but this routinely is a delusion since it is far easier to delude yourself then it is for you to be truthful.
Frank… So, another delusion would be this is just too hard?
Seth… A delusion is that it is too hard, it’s too long, it’s too… (Dot, dot, dot.)
Jasmine… I think the delusion here is that you think you are making a change and that you are doing your best.
Seth… That’s part of it. The delusion is that you believe that you are doing your best but when challenged, when challenged how many individuals become angry? How many individuals resent the idea that someone disagrees with them. That is the problem in and of itself.
So, one must create the idea for themselves that they can, no matter how hard, difficult, tedious, boring the task seems, it is you who must plod along until you decide to create a different viewpoint. We will take notice here of how Isabella has not decided to change her ways as evidenced by her last comments about her phone call!
Isabella… Yeah, but I have a question regarding that.
Seth… No, you will hold that. There is no reason at this point to go into that, you will certainly be able to ask your question later.
Isabella… It’s not really about that. It’s about the (Unclear.)
Seth… Of course, you do. Again, there is no new beginning.
Isabella… But I am not usually judgmental when it comes to (Unclear.)
Seth… It is the concept and the idea of what you are routinely doing here. We will deal with that later.
The hard work that is necessary for change to occur is the first process that will allow you to commit to change and the sincerity that follows will give you the necessary ability to function in a different manner.
Frank… Can you give an example?
Seth… You just had one.
Now, when individuals measure themselves, the question arises: How do you measure yourself? And once again here we will go around the table and ask that question. Let us start with Kaetorina who did a routinely…
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Well, you were misleading in your question.
Seth… My question was not misleading at all, move along
Stephanie… Ah, how do I measure myself? You mean if I am doing well?
Seth… My statement stands as is. How do you measure yourself?
Stephanie… Well, I measure myself… (Long pause.)
Seth… You have no clue pass it along.
Stephanie… It’s a very complicated question.
Jasmine… Well since the…
Seth… Aren’t you glad Jasmine decided to type this up?
Stephanie… (Laughing.) Thank God. It’s a good thing.
Jasmine… Since the last two sessions with the commitment and the sincerity I feel like a door has kind of opened for me. So, when I am measuring myself or the progress I am making I’m using that, those two lectures as a standard by which I look at how well I am doing or how well I may not be doing and so for example with doing things for myself I am attempting to do more though I may misjudge. For example, yesterday I attempted to make these two big things for a lunch for my bridge girlfriends but I didn’t have enough time to do it but I had every intention of actually doing it which was something I might not have done in the past. And with my mother I am continuing to stand up for myself there with her which I might not have done in the past, so I am kind of committed to not falling back into the old pattern of Jasmine and the place Jasmine had been in. So as far as measuring myself I think I am looking at the way I am measuring myself is by looking at how committed I am to changing. The actual concrete things I am doing to make those changes and the sincerity behind them. I mean one thing I noticed that I knew I had to do for myself but felt angry, so I knew that there was some waffling there because I didn’t feel good about having to do it but still I did it. And the only place that I feel I’m really falling down is that there is some indication of some kind of turmoil that I cannot get in touch with right now is my weight issue which is getting worse. And my eating is totally out of control, so I am not sure what is happening there. That is a measure of some kind of failing I don’t know what that is but in my other aspects I feel that I am measuring myself well.
Frank… I measure myself in two manners. The correct way when I measure myself is when I really actually see what is and where I feel that it makes sense to me. And in that way, I am usually not judgmental. The way that I most often measure myself is an incorrect way and that is I find people or things or whatever that is doing something better than me, I find myself lacking and I measure myself in that manner and put myself in a hole.
Arthur… Right now, it occurs to me that I measure myself through my application of self and my diligence but also in terms of facing fears or taking risks and I measure myself as moving when something new happens.
Isabella… Be sincere. I feel one way that I measure myself is how other people view me and I measure my work based on their opinion. And another way that I am really trying to begin to do is to measure myself based on what I view of myself and that I am starting to try to begin to uncover the inner me and how I feel about me not being fun or how somebody else views me.
Seth… Betty?
Betty… I measure myself to myself at different points of time when I was either feeling better about myself or better about what I was doing.
Seth… It is interesting to note that most individuals measure themselves in the poorest way possible and that is by comparing and contrasting that which you believe you are to other standards. A sure sign of failure is to follow this course of action. The reason for this should be quite obvious and that is a three-word statement on my part: Does it matter? One cannot work diligently if you always have to look over your own shoulder to find the ruler to determine how you are doing. (Isabella asked a question that was not clear.) It is the same meaning.
Isabella… So, it’s again the turning to another to give you value?
Seth… If you have to turn to another, who are you giving your creativity to?
Isabella… I think I made the connection now for what you were saying before. The comment I made about the date tomorrow night was I feel like I am judging a book by its cover because what you were saying to me on the phone about having a Hampton’s share and this and that. And I felt that he was very snobby and whatever.
Seth… How about if he is just making simple conversation and wants you to learn about him?
Isabella… Yes, but also but I think I felt…
Seth… And then you became judgmental.
Isabella… No.
Seth… Of course, you did you just said it.
Isabella… I’ll tell you exactly where I think I went with that, unconsciously. But I wasn’t… I’m not worthy enough to date somebody of that caliber. And so, I think that that’s the place that I went so in order to protect myself I made judgments about him.
Seth… How do you value yourself? By what standards?
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Therefore, the commitment to hard work must take precedence if change is to occur naturally. You cannot change if you are always looking over your shoulder. Does he have more? Do I have less? This is not hard work for the moment you embark upon that path you delude yourself and you continue the cycle that you are desperately trying to end. How can you do your best then if you are fooling yourself into believing what your egocentric viewpoint has shown you?
Isabella… When you say egocentric viewpoints does that mean what we see on the physical plan?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… So, what we’ve learned here by watching?
Seth… It is not only what you’ve learned by watching. It is not only learning; it is what you are having yourself create. Remember, your viewpoints are commonly narrowed, your ego, which is truly meant to observe the physical plane and take it in, quite commonly is limited because it can’t give it away. You are stuck with a viewpoint. You don’t process it well. You are not open to.
Now, have you ever noticed that when events routinely continue and they tend to be repetitious you become bored, frustrated, angry! Individuals tend to become depressed. The “what about me” syndrome is in full swing. These difficult situations inhibit that which you have tried to create. How can one run a race if your fuel is low? You become weary and you let others do for you. The question then arises: Where do we go from here? And the answer is quite simple you do what you have to do!
We will move over the tape.
To go ahead and deal with Kaetorina’s statement you just have to “suck it up”is another delusion and it puts you totally on a wrong path.
Jasmine… Her statement? (Obviously there was some discussion while the tape was turned over.)
Seth… Correct. When one must do what they need or are required to do it gives one an opportunity for self-improvement. The hard work that is necessary to accomplish your task must be found within yourself to “suck it up” literally means to accept what you have to do even if you don’t want to do it. The resentment there leads one to failure. One fails since you are dealing with a negative perspective of the opportunity that has presented itself to you.
Now when one is down on themselves because of events your inner feelings tend to want to make you run. When one runs away the ability to create to challenge that situation is diminished. That is why one cannot suck it up.
Isabella… Can I say something as an example for myself? Um, I get to a point in dating where, like I fail.
Seth… What are you creating?
Isabella… I am creating…
Seth… Dis-ease.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Unhappiness, unsatisfactory results.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… One because you are not open to being creative and two because you are telling yourself before anything starts, I Am Not Happy!
Isabella… But when I say I am not happy, meaning within myself or within whatever they are offering?
Seth… Both.
Isabella… Okay, so in relationship to this story about Jenny, is that how that is related to this? Because in the sense of obviously judging her before, because that is what I am doing. I am going in with this mindset of judging before I am actually giving anybody or anything a chance.
Seth… Not only giving a chance, you are not giving you a chance! Forget about them!
Isabella… But how am I not giving myself a chance? That’s what I don’t understand. That’s the piece I’m missing.
Seth… If you walk into a situation saying, “Ah, this guy is too wealthy for me, this guy is too poor for me, this guy is too heavy, this guy, this guy has a beard, this guy is bald, this guy doesn’t have the right job, this guy… All of these are negative thoughts.
Isabella… So, I am setting myself up for, for failure!
Seth… You are telling yourself that things will not be good. To our therapists in the room, to our patients in the room, to readers who will read this material, how often do each of you do the same thing? So, the question is have you ended the cycle or are you just continuing it?
Isabella… I mean it seems so easy to say…
Seth… Did I not tell you that my statement before seemed incredibly simple but was immensely difficult?
Isabella… Yeah, because it seems so easy to say, alright I won’t be judgmental! I won’t judge.
Seth… But you do because your prior experience tells you, I don’t like this! I don’t want this!
Isabella… Em hmm.
(Jasmine said something not picked up by the tape.)
Seth… Whatever it does not matter. The answer does not matter. It is the prior experience of that does not allow you to work diligently to create a change. The hard work will make each of you a better individual.
Isabella… So, it is really along the lines of and I am not even just talking about dating, I mean just life in general, the idea that you really have to work hard to create or get anything that you want.
Seth… That is the fallacy that most people delude themselves with when they read “The Secret”. I just want!
Isabella… Uh huh,
Seth… You understand my nine points better now? Have you read them? (They are presented here at the bottom as an appendix.)
Isabella… Not all of them, no
Seth… Why not?
Isabella… Because I’ve been busy, but I am going to…
Seth… There is no excuse for being busy.
Isabella… Okay.
Jasmine… (Audio not clear but had to do with the idea that “The Secret” did speak of the concept of work.)
Seth… Yes, it does but it is not implied to…
Isabella… It’s not implied.
Seth… (Not clear but meaning: working) hard enough. One of the reasons why Jasmine, I asked you how you were doing mentally…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… was to create a situation that you had to do work. The typing is the work. It is the ingrained ability that you have not to and I have now come to the inevitable conclusion that you have to! There is no reason that you should ever attend another session without work. And your tendency here is to first start to recapture that which you have let pass you by. Do you understand this?
Jasmine… You mean I am first starting to become self-involved.
Seth… Correct.
Jasmine… And I have
Seth… And in everything you have that you have said tonight. So therefor if you are becoming self-involved one must then integrate into you, how to make yourself a whole person. And that is the reason why… you’re typing.
Jasmine… Typing was a big turn off for me because…
Seth… Work! Now you understand why it is necessary for you to do the work because you must end a cycle. You must end the idea of I cannot, this goes for everyone. We must end the idea of I cannot and make it into not only I can but I require more. And that is doing your best. That is the idea that will allow you not to fool yourself.
Frank… What do you mean by you require more?
Seth… You require more hard work.
Frank… I require the ability to work harder?
Seth… No. You require more hard work.
Isabella… More challenges.
Stephanie… Like bring it on.
Isabella… Right, it’s the idea of…
Frank… Oh! (Frank laughs.)
Seth… Do you see?
Isabella… It’s the idea of the person, I have too much on my plate, I can’t handle anymore but yet when push comes to shove…
Seth… They do.
Isabella… you can. It’s like you know even with my situation with getting divorced and having to give up the child I…
Seth… You did not give up a child.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Stop that! Do you see how the cycle never ends?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Do you see the delusion that you have now recreated for yourself?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… So, my question is have you worked hard?
Isabella… No.
Seth… No.
Isabella… Not in that area.
Seth… Are you judging yourself by other people’s standards?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Have you done your best?
Isabella… No.
Seth… No. Are you becoming rundown, bored, tired, frustrated?
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… With the whole thing?
Isabella… With this whole issue?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… With the letting go of the family and all that? Yes.
Seth… So therefore, you are fooling yourself. Now continue. So far, you’ve proven my point.
Isabella… Okay, so in the idea that I, you know, you think like, like the tenure situation I was like oh, you know this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It is so bad and then step up to the next thing that happens then it is even worse but you realize you can get through that and then something else happens and you realize you can get through that and you can come out on top and everything that happens really happens for a reason and you know throughout the cycle of my life all of these things that have happened and I have accomplished, not necessarily accomplished but perhaps experienced and overcomed gives you a sense of or a willingness to kind of keep on pushing because you feel like you can do more.
Seth… May I borrow that, thank you. (Seth took the microphone.) Jasmine, how did you end the cycle of leaving her alone and letting her create for herself this evening? This evening! (Jasmine’s response was short but not audible.) No, you did not. Therefore, you will continue to make her dependent upon you and Isabella falls into the role. How did Isabella tell you to stop doing what you were doing? You did what?
Jasmine… (Not clear but short again.)
Seth… That’s correct.
Isabella… Right. (Inaudible.)
Seth… That’s the problem.
Jasmine… (Inaudible.)
Seth… It’s not the issue here. It’s the issue of who you are giving it to.
Jasmine… That’s really the truth. I mean…
Seth… No, no, we are not dealing with your kindness. We are not dealing with kindness here which is where you were coming from. We are dealing with the idea of an interlocking problem. The only way to unlock a door is to use a key. What is the key here that you must use?
Jasmine… The jail for myself.
Seth… Correct and what is the greatest gift a parent can give to a child? The ability to what?
Jasmine… Do it on her own.
Seth… No, to fail! The greatest gift a parent can give to a child is the ability to fail! (This has been stated by Seth many times over the years.)
Jasmine… Well, when the child flies away the child is free to fail.
Seth… That is not the same thing because the rope goes very far. The tether is always there.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
Seth… Let us continue.
(There was conversation that is not clear on the tape but it seemed to center on the idea of making change and Seth stated in good humor, feel free to make a change. Work diligently at it.)
Let us move along, are there any questions?
Isabella… Yeah, I have a few. I’m wondering if you could give me some advice as to how I can start to change that viewpoint of the loss of the family, the house, the child and so forth? Because…
Seth… Ask a simple question.
Isabella… What did I really lose?
Seth… That’s one. How important was it?
Isabella… So, what did I really lose?
Seth… Was the idea important of it?
Isabella… Yes, yes.
Seth… Or was it in reality the loss of the idea important?
Isabella… I guess the loss of the idea.
Seth… Correct. And therefore, are you better with something or without something in this instance?
Isabella… Obviously without.
Seth… Not obviously. I asked you as an individual.
Isabella… Without. Without. It’s hard though because…
Seth… Nobody says things that you gain from are easy.
Isabella… No, you know everyone says obviously you are so much better off without him, this, that whatever.
Seth… It is not a question of being better off without him. What you are grieving for is the loss.
Isabella… Em hmm. But it’s not the loss of him that I am grieving for.
Seth… It is the loss of… (Conversation is overlapping.) I asked you a question and you answered before.
Isabella… Right, the idea.
Seth… It is the loss of the idea that you are grieving for,
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… So, when you understand that the idea has become more important than the fact you can then look at the idea in a different way.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand?
Isabella… Yes, that I completely understand.
In regards to opening myself up more with dating and allowing myself to be more accepting…
Seth… If you had never gone on a date.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… How would you approach the date?
Isabella… If I had never gone on a date?
Seth… Ever.
Isabella… Ever, ever?
Seth… You’d be a little nervous, you would be excited, you would be happy because this is your first date.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Approach each date the same way.
Isabella… Okay, that’s a good point. But I…
Seth… No buts.
Isabella… No, because I tend to judge based on who the person it is that I am dating.
Seth… No buts.
Isabella… So, this is to pretend like that I know nothing about the person at all.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Correct and you will discover what you have to discover.
Isabella… Okay. Okay that I understand.
And I’m wondering if you could give me some advice as to…
Seth… I have been on more dates than you have years…
Isabella… the idea of…
Seth… and lifetimes.
Isabella… purchasing the home and…
Seth… Futuristic question, takes away free-will.
Isabella… No, no, I’m asking if you can give some advice as to, I guess, alright so in the idea of leaving my therapist. Can you give me some advice in that area?
Seth… Futuristic question, takes away free-will.
Isabella… Alright then. (Stephanie laughed.)
Seth… Anything else, any other questions?
Notice Jasmine, I am keeping the answers short.
Jasmine… I appreciate it.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Jasmine… Kind of about what I talked about during the break which is that an inability I have at this point to stop eating and I am not sure what’s happening. It began, I think…
Seth… Let me ask you a question.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… The concept of being thin is seen by whose standards? That’s the first question. The second question is I assume you know the painter Rubens, Rubenesque women?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… That’s another question. The idea of eating here and getting yourself, I’m putting quotes here “under control” close quotes is based upon the idea of the difficulty in change you have. You have had difficulty in dealing with Isabella, you have had difficulty dealing with your sister, you have difficulty in dealing with your mother. You have the greatest difficulty in dealing with yourself, so you are looking here for food at the comfort station.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… So, when you look for something at the comfort station then that is in reality not comfortable you then are repeating a cycle of, I need comfort, I’m going to eat but that’s not making me happy, therefore, I’m going to eat to make me happy. So, when you realize that you can make a change by simply stating I’m not going to be defined by other people’s standards of what beauty is, thin is, heavy is, moderate is. You have to be concerned and be truthful to yourself. To yourself! And however, you decide, whatever you decide of how to define yourself, you will then be perfectly satisfied.
Jasmine… Well, I am not happy with the way I am.
Seth… But you are not unhappy enough. You have not made a commitment to hard work, to sincerity to make a change.
Jasmine… I think that’s because of all this emotion stuff swirling around me…
Seth… That’s an excuse. We do not accept the excuse.
Jasmine… that I can’t.
Seth… It is a narrow egocentric viewpoint. You may choose to create that which you choose to create when you choose to create it. And when you decide for example to weigh one hundred and twenty-one point three pounds you will. If you decide to weigh one hundred and seventy-eight pounds you will. It is what you are creating. The difficulty there is to learn the measure of that which you are on, what cycle you are in and when you want to end that uncomfortable cycle and when you choose to end it, it will not matter whether you have had an argument with the man through whom I speak or your mother or your sister or Isabella. You will not worry about how you look in clothing because when you will see yourself, you will always look good to yourself. And when you always look good to yourself the weight will change because you will have chosen to change it. Does that give you a helpful hint?
Jasmine… I think I already knew all that.
Seth… Well then if you knew all of that why are you complaining?
Jasmine… I do have one other quick question. My hair has been bothering me. I think I may have discussed this with you. It’s just thinning and there really is nothing that I can apparently do that is reasonable. I mean I can have a; I can have hair plugs or whatever, but it is very, very costly and Jerry and I don’t want to do that right now, I am just curious as to whether or not…
Seth… Stress and anger and aggravation lead to this.
Jasmine… Well, this has been going on for several years already, I…
Seth… Let me ask you a simple question, I’m sorry to interrupt, have you been angry, under heavy stress and malcontented for a number of years?
Jasmine… Oh yeah.
Seth… Okay.
Jasmine… But that’s not my point. My question was if I had this gynecologic problem which is coming to a head and had to be looked at. A decision had to be made in July, this July. In January I said to myself I am going to change this problem and I visualized, and I apparently changed some because…
Seth… Let me ask you a question, are you not experienced in changing difficult matters?
Jasmine… I’m not so sure.
Seth… How about your breast cancer that you never had?
Jasmine… Yeah, well you said that was something that was going to happen to me if I didn’t make a change.
Seth… And what happened?
Jasmine… I don’t have it, I never had it.
Seth… Therefore, are you experienced in changing difficult things?
Jasmine… Apparently so.
Seth… Therefore, if you are going to create… create!
Jasmine… So, could I, I mean according to what “The Secret” says you know you can ask, you believe, and you receive.
Seth… And how is the reading of “The Secret” coming and how is “The Nature of Personal Reality” coming?
Jasmine… Well, I haven’t gotten there but the…
Seth… No, no, no, no, no. Where is the hard work that is necessary for you to succeed?! Show me.
Jasmine… Okay so the question is with that hard work, with that hard work would I be able to reverse or affect my hair situation? Is that a possibility?
Seth… Did you die?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… You’ve answered your question.
Jasmine… So, could a person can actually somehow create new follicles or…
Seth… When people are dying know that it is a terminal illness and decide that it is not their time to end their incarnation and it spontaneously disappears is that enough of a clue?
Jasmine… So, would you suggest that I visualize myself with fuller, thicker hair?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… And believe that it really would happen?
Seth… Yes, but you also must have hard work to eliminate the stress, the discomfort, the unhappiness that you allow to surround yourself. When you constantly complain you cannot fool the universe.
Jasmine… Complain about anything?
Seth… Anything. Acceptance for you… (Seth tapped the table to indicate to Jasmine to take notes.) Acceptance for you will lead you to a much finer road and you will end the cycle of distress.
Jasmine… Acceptance of everything.
Seth… Acceptance of what is. The word “everything” doesn’t mean anything. You live in the ever-expanding-now, your greatest power is now at the point of where you are.
Jasmine… So, acceptance of?
Seth… Your sister and what she is. Acceptance of your husband and what he is. Acceptance of your girlfriends and what they are. Acceptance of your money situation and what it is. Acceptance of!
Jasmine… And that’s the hard work?
Seth… Of course.
Jasmine… And when I can do that then my stress will be lowered.
Seth… And you will feel better. And let us assume at that point you have no hair left on your head, none, you will be better, you will be happier, you will be content and it will not matter.
(There was some group chatter.)
Jasmine… What happened to the being able to bring it back?
(Isabella said something that was not clear, and it is also unclear if Seth’s following response was to her at first or Jasmine.)
Seth… I didn’t say that.
Jasmine… Why would you…
Seth… I didn’t say that, I gave you an example. Now the hard work is yours. Kaetorina, you had a question.
Stephanie… I was kind of mulling one over. You know when you say the idea of you know you put an end to something. You know you say it like it’s, you know instantaneous. I know it can be instantaneous, but you understand what I mean.
Jasmine… No, I don’t.
Stephanie… You know you put an end to something, something that you know you have belief systems entrenched in it, you view it in specific ways, it gets validated in fifty other ways and bears out in whatever it is that doesn’t feel good let’s say. And you say well put an end to how you respond and react to that, but nothing has changed there let’s say, sister, mother, whatever you want to say.
Seth… Certainly, major changes have occurred. You are looking at this backwards.
Stephanie… No but I am saying…
Seth… If somebody goes ahead and routinely slaps you, hurts you and you walk into and say give me more they are going to do it again and again.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… If you say that’s the end you will not do that to me again. I will not tolerate that that ends it. Does it not? I don’t want to hear that from you. I don’t want to see that from you. I will not tolerate that. That’s and ending. You’ve ended.
Stephanie… Oh.
Jasmine… So, when I said to my mother, I’m angry at you I will continue to tell you that I am angry?
Seth… That is an ending of accepting the fact that she must say whatever she wants to say to you and you accepting it. Isn’t your stress level diminished because of that?
Jasmine… Yeah, I think now it is, but I was…
Seth… Because it is different. It is different!
Jasmine… I had a terrible day that day. I was…
Seth… So what?
Jasmine… heart-wrenching.
Seth… So what? Nobody said that these things are easy. Hard work! Hard diligent work.
Stephanie… But if you don’t like any of this…
Jasmine… Yes.
Stephanie… That’s just leading me to what my question is. I understand there is change and she is happier because you are ending that dynamic, but you don’t still like, you can’t still, you’re not changing them. They’re just not allowed to do that to you anymore.
Seth… You are changing yourself and how you are reacting to them.
Stephanie… Right, but Paula is the same individual…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… She will be the same mother to…
Seth… No, she cannot be.
Isabella… No, she won’t.
Stephanie… No, she is not going to be the one who is going to use that language and all of that. She’ll be the same mother who has difficulty giving of self.
Seth… So?
Stephanie… So, all I am saying is that she…
Jasmine… But she will continue to speak the same way she speaks to my sister. That will continue.
Stephanie… Right and she is not going to like that…
Seth… So?
Stephanie… That’s not going to feel good and you’re saying you put an end to that pattern.
Seth… Because your ability to react to that pattern has changed.
Stephanie… Yes, but she doesn’t…
Seth… You are accepting…
Stephanie… like that.
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… But you’re saying putting an end to not liking that?
Seth… No, put an end to accepting it.
Stephanie… But how do you know that’s not going to make her unhappy?
Seth… Whose choice is it to be unhappy?
Stephanie… But if she doesn’t, she won’t get the abuse anymore but she’ll, let’s say she is unhappy about the fact that that’s the mother, that’s the sister, that’s what she is not going to get from them…
Seth… Can you…
Isabella… That’s acceptance. You have to accept that.
Frank… Stephanie if you…
Seth… I would have said that but thank you very much.
Stephanie… Right, you are not accepting it.
Frank… Stephanie, are you different, are you different towards your father?
Stephanie… Ah, I don’t even talk to him. (Stephanie laughs.)
Frank… Therefore, you’re different.
Stephanie… Sure.
Frank… Isn’t that different?
Stephanie… Yes, it’s different.
Frank… Is your father the father you wished for?
Stephanie… No.
Frank… Okay there’s the difference.
Stephanie… Right but I don’t like it and…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… and it is unpleasant and terrible.
Seth… So what? You don’t have to like anything!
Frank… But it is better than being a victim.
Stephanie… Yes, I absolutely have no argument there. I’m just stating that…
Seth… You are arguing this because I don’t like something, therefore how is it ending?
Stephanie… No, you’re stating put an end to the repeated pattern of feeling miserable about that you don’t like it.
Seth… No, I never stated that. You stated that.
Stephanie… What you’re stating is if you are in, if you get into a pattern of accepting people…
Seth… If you get into a pattern of accepting somebody hurting you…
Stephanie… No, I don’t, I am not talking about that part of things. I understand all that. I agree with that. That is not what I am saying. The pattern I’m falling into is I don’t like the status of it. I understand I am better off, all this other stuff. I don’t like that the reality is what it is.
Seth… So.
Stephanie… I don’t have to like that.
Seth… Why do you have to like anything?
Stephanie… That doesn’t make me happy.
Seth… Why do you have to be happy if something displeases you? You have to learn to accept what is…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and not be affected by it.
Stephanie… So, if half of my family falls short and I don’t like them…
Seth… So what?
Stephanie… That’s easy for you to say. (Laughing.)
Seth… No…
Stephanie… You’re not here.
Frank… No.
Seth… No, that is not the issue.
Frank…. But if you’re wishing for them not to fall short as opposed to saying, I now know that they fall short, I don’t get what I need from them…
Stephanie… Right.
Frank… so what am I going to do? Well, perhaps I will concentrate more on my own family, perhaps I’ll concentrate on what I get from friends, and they won’t fall short. You can’t make somebody else be what you wish.
Stephanie… I know you don’t have to like it.
Frank… It’s the not liking it that is going to make you move in another direction to get what you need.
Stephanie… By those people.
Frank… No, not from those people possibly.
Seth… By not liking it keeps you in a position of want. I want them to.
Betty… Is there a way to look at what you possibly can get? It may not be what you want but it could be something.
Seth… Correct.
Betty… Isn’t it a all or nothing situation and it’s just owning that my expectations may be more than what these people can give but I can get this from them?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… I have a question about meditation.
Seth… Yes, meditations.
Isabella… I am really enjoying them obviously and they are definitely giving me tremendous pleasure. There are moments where I am meditating maybe a beauty meditation and something in my mind will come in that will disrupt the beauty almost to the point of like horror. And…
Seth… Are you worthy of beauty?
Isabella… But it has only happened once or twice.
Seth… It matters not. That is the point, what you then do is you refocus yourself…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… push that away which no longer serves you…
Isabella… Right, which I did.
Seth… and then go on.
Isabella… And I go back to the beauty meditation.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… And just every time something like that comes in push it out and then come back to the now.
Seth… And know that you are worthy of beauty.
Isabella… Okay.
I’m curious if you can give me a little bit of insight as to the significance of the happiness and the beauty meditation?
Seth… Not at this point of reference but I will.
Let me leave you with this: You have the ability now to understand that which will make you a better person. The three factors, use them carefully, understand them, factor each one of those ideas into your actions. Remember, one must always speak slowly but think quickly. In doing so you will learn to fulfill your needs, you will give yourself a higher purpose, your wants will lessen and the beauty that surrounds you will shine through. I give you a pleasant good evening.
(Session ended at 10:25)
Seth’s Nine Points Regarding “The Secret”
Seth said the following “The book and movie The Secret are commercially successful since it allows the average soul to gather unto him or herself that which they believe that they want! The author uses the word want in various reference points the first being need or that which one believes that they require and the second being that which they believe that they want. I will explain it from a different level so you as an individual can profit. I have consistently stated the following:”
1. You are what you create. This statement by Seth means that everything that goes on in your existence is caused by your actions. The word action here means the things that you think, say, or do. Therefore, when positive or negative things occur you must take responsibility for them.
2. You are responsible for your own creations. This means that when an event occurs either positive or negative you own it. Therefore, you cannot blame another for anything that has occurred. Subsequently, when something happens that you are dissatisfied with, it is up to you and you alone to take appropriate actions to change that outcome. Remember nothing happens instantaneously and there are no coincidences.
3. Your creations always are in combination with others. Seth has always commented on the fact that “no man is an island”. This means that you are not alone in the universe and therefore all of your creations (events, happenings) are in combination with everyone else’s. Things that you believe only involve you in reality do not, because nothing occurs in a vacuum. This is why when one is having difficulty one must seek assistance from others. What you do affects others, and what others do affects you. Remember there are consequences to all actions, good or bad.
4. You are the star of your own play. This means that no matter how important you think that someone else is to you, you must realize that it is you who makes choices and decisions that directly concern you. No one else can force you to do anything that you truly don’t want to do. You must take responsibility for all that goes on around you because you are running the show. In light of this fact when you are feeling like you are being victimized it is still up to you and you alone to change this reality because you are the star of your own play.
5. The others are the stars of their own play. In other words, this is the direct reverse of number four. No one therefore can blame you for their problems or successes because it is their play, and they are the star.
6. You are a bit player in another’s play. This means that someone else should not make you so important in their lives that you end up responsible for them and their creations. In reality, you only have but a small part in whatever events have occurred to someone else. This does not mean that you are not important or do not have influence with someone else, it just means that they are ultimately responsible for what is going on in their lives.
7. The others are but bit players in your play. This again is the opposite of number six. In other words, you cannot blame someone else for your problems even when they are directly related to them, or you believe they are the cause.
8. The more individual souls that you deal with the greater the complexity of the line of study that you have indeed embarked upon. This means that the bigger your problem becomes, you will notice that more and more individuals become involved in your play. The words line of study means what you are presently dealing with or are interested in whether it’s positive or negative. There are many individuals who are interested or studying the same ideas. They can move in and out of your life depending on what you are bringing into yours. As you work to solve your difficulties you will notice the number of individuals involved become less. For example, have you ever noticed that someone came into your life and helped you work out a problem, even if it took years and when the problem was finally done the person seems to disappear from your life? 9. The law of attraction is dependent upon the other eight factors! One must understand that you cannot simply wish for something to occur. You must take action to make it real. In being able to make a change one must incorporate all of the above in doing so. If you realize that you are unhappy with anything in your life one must ask themselves a question: Why am I attracting this situation? In beginning to solve this one must study self first and only self in order to make a change.
