Seth 389
The Carpenter’s Story and Not Bringing Home Your Problems
Tuesday November 4, 2008
8:15 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here, again. A little bit of housekeeping, Isabella, how do you have to do the typing?
Isabella… One week.
Seth… You don’t but I will give you one week. And how is the reading of the material coming along, where are you?
Isabella… Slow, probably page 16 but I am purposely reading it slowly.
Seth… And if you have questions, and you should.
Isabella… And I am highlighting.
Seth… If you have questions, write them down and we will go over them. Jasmine, how is the reading coming for you?
Jasmine… I have not started it yet.
Seth… Well, let’s ask a simple question. From my research it is obvious that you are having some difficulties.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… Well, if someone would give you a key to unlock a door which would certainly help you improve your perception, the question is why have you thrown the key away? And that all has to do with your willingness to work; we shall deal with that at a latter point of reference.
Under our idea of Change, I would like to relate an old story for you. This carpenter down in the southern portion of your country has had a very bad day. First, his truck breaks down and he is late for his job. While on the job three of his pieces of equipment, one of his tools breaks. Next, he cuts himself and when a friend of his who has volunteered to give him a ride home and in response to this man’s kindness, he invites him to dinner. As they arrive to our carpenter’s home our carpenter puts his hands into his pocket and as they pass by a tree in front of his home he goes ahead and throws the air that was in his pockets towards the tree. They both enter our carpenter’s home and are greeted by his family in a warm and loving manner. The carpenter’s friend had a lovely meal and as the carpenter walks him out to his car the friend turns to him and asks him a question, “I noticed that you did something very strange as we were about to enter your home. You put your hands in your pockets, and you threw air at the tree. I’ve never seen anything like this, why did you do that?”
And the carpenter said, “Yes, that is my trouble tree. Every night when I come home, I empty my pockets and throw my troubles to the tree and in the morning when I leave for work and gather everything that I need to take with me. And yet, it never fails to amaze me, how few problems I really had, for most of them were but figments of foolish thoughts and actions that amount to nothing.” (This is one of my favorite Seth stories or parables. I have told it many times and now I notice that I have embellished it to twice its length! F.N.)
And so, my dear students, we are going to go around this table, we are going to ask the following: Why do you bring your problems home into your house? And why do you push them upon your friends, relatives, children instead of leaving (Pronounced as a-leaving as in alleviate,) them where there should be? Who would like to go first?
Stephanie… What are you asking? Why…
Seth… I’m trying to understand while you keep bringing your problems home with you instead of leaving them go.
Stephanie… Well, because I just heard about the trouble tree story. (Frank giggled softly.)
Seth… Have I not given you this idea in many different ways?
Stephanie… Probably but this was much more remarkable to me.
Seth… So, since you have volunteered to go first, (Stephanie laughed.) what is it that you notice about yourself when you bring things home?
Stephanie… Just that I would be miserable.
Seth… Why keep doing it?
Stephanie… Ahh, just because it is habit.
Seth… That does not make any sense.
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Well, I guess I don’t necessarily know what else I would be doing with it.
Seth… Yet, you do nothing to alleviate it, do you?
Stephanie… Sure, I do.
Seth… What? Show me how.
Stephanie… I talk to the man through whom you speak.
Seth… But you’re still bringing them home. You’re not leaving them go. How often have I said, you can participate in a negative line of study, or you can leave it go. Is there anyone here including you, Betty who does not willingly participate in negative lines of study, some more than others obviously? Any comments?
Stephanie… Last night, I have been in a pretty decent place at like eleven o’clock, a wave of yuck came over me. (Stephanie laughs.) Best way I can describe it and I really wasn’t really exactly sure, I could take certain guesses at it and I spoke to Jerry about it today and when I left it go after that but had I done what you’re talking about I would have acknowledged whatever I thought it was, took a stab at it and then left it go there and not held onto it, is that what you are talking about?
Seth… In all religion and you do not have to be religious obviously to do what I am going to tell you there are always symbolic gestures that allow the faithful if you would like to call them that to cast off their “sins”. They throw them into a river, they bury them. And the question again is and we will start with you Betty, what do you do to not take your problems home?
Betty… I just make very good use of my fireplace.
Seth… And what happens now why have you not been doing that?
Betty… I don’t have one that actually burns…
Seth… Do you need a real fireplace?
Betty… Other things that I have done? I have a God box that I just dump stuff in if I can’t leave it out of the door before I get in the house. For the most part I don’t bring it home, honestly.
Seth… Hiding from your problems and not facing them means that they are living with you. Isabella?
Isabella… I do nothing to try not to bring them home.
Seth… I could have said that… Don’t give the microphone away. (Group laughs.) We are not finished with you, at all. I noticed recently that you have at times asked for a sense of direction, how much effort have you put into it?
Isabella… A lot, this week.
Seth… How many of the problems if I asked to see them written on a piece of paper can you show me?
Isabella… Oh that, that…
Seth… Oh that.
Isabella… I thought you meant the other one that we were working on because I really was focusing on…
Seth… I understand what you’re focusing on but if you had written down your problems and looked for the solutions you don’t need last week.
Isabella… Don’t need last week’s?
Seth… Methodology.
Isabella… Which is to be over generous and that kind of stuff?
Seth… Because you would have automatically done it.
Isabella… Okay. You know, I don’t know why I am having a hard time with the writing down, maybe I don’t understand, not that, that I have been doing all week long, I mean the writing done of the question of the problem. I don’t really understand exactly what I am supposed to do, and I think that’s why I am not doing it.
Seth… If you have a difficulty, there is something that is either bothering you or that you don’t understand, what do you believe is the purpose for writing that information down?
Isabella… To analyze it.
Seth… Well, besides analyzing it?
Isabella… To make, to give it a view, a voice, I guess.
Seth… To allow yourself to see and then to refer back to that which is bothering you.
Jasmine… May I ask a question?
Seth… I would never say, no.
Jasmine… Isn’t trying to understand the problem or isolate the problem very significant for people who have just a nonspecific depression? In other words, when you don’t really know what is bothering you and you just feel down or sad or agitated or anxious, it’s you don’t know what is going on but if you try to figure out what the problem is you say well, what could be causing this? Well, I was sad about this, and you write that down or I had issues with my family, recurrent issues, I mean doesn’t that help when you can start to see where it is coming from? It makes you feel much less out of control.
Seth… Is that not what I just said?
Jasmine… I didn’t hear you say that I heard you say that you should just write it down.
Seth… And I asked a question as to why. In other words, let us give you the same task.
Jasmine… Well, I had a specific example; I had a specific thing happen one day. I forget what day it was, alright…
Seth… And therefore, if you wrote it down…
Jasmine… It was either yesterday or the day before, Saturday. It was Saturday. I woke up and I thought it was alright but then had this overwhelming sadness come over me. Couldn’t quite figure out what was going on and I was going to have a very nice day. Jerry and I were going to play golf together and we had nice plans in the evening, but I was just very down, crying then. I called Stephanie and we talked about it. She was able to help me understand where this sadness was coming from and I was able to just say, “Oh, well okay, thank god, at least there is a reason for it.” Because I felt so, you know…
Seth… Distraught.
Jasmine… Yeah, it’s really lousy to not know why you are down. It is like I said to Stephanie you feel like one of the people from the Cymbalta commercial, you know?
Seth… So, my question again to you is your challenge now is whenever you have a “problem” is to immediately write down the problem as you see it.
Jasmine… Well, I didn’t have a clue at the time.
Seth… Once you start stating things such as I am depressed, I am bothered, things will start coming to you because if you are an individual who says I am depressed and I can never figure out what is bothering me then of course your ability to be rational even with yourself is vastly diminished and since you are not in that category we will not deal with that. The common tendency here is to not want to or allow yourself to find the problem and that occurs out of fear.
Isabella… But what if is the same theme or problem and over and over and over again.
Seth… Well, that is yours and I will deal with finding a mate in a few minutes. Frank, you may answer the question next.
Isabella… But its (Unclear.) not about finding a mate it’s about…
Seth… There is much more to it than that. Let me get to my lecture and it will be most helpful.
Frank… I think that I do make an effort to not to bring home problems and I do make an effort to work on solving my problems and issues. I do write things down. I think that…
Seth… If that were true to the extent that you are now professing that it is true…
Frank… But I am not saying it is completely true.
Seth… That you are professing that it is true, the difficulty you have certainly in where you are valuing your place within your family would become nonexistent. Very commonly you allow the others in your family to take a more dominant role because that is your pattern. In other words, you allow others to lead when in reality you should be doing the leading. One of your comments this evening was facing the difficulty that your youngest child has with filling out applications. Well, the simple answer is, I’m going to sit down and give you assistance if you would like me to, but I want these things done as soon as possible because if you choose not to do them including your criteria for doing them then you might as well stay home. And what you state you mean. That of course has to be done because when people have a tendency to become lackadaisical, they allow events to carry them instead of reshaping the events for themselves. You understand?
Frank… Yeah, Emma is doing that, and I am doing it in the sense by not being more…
Seth… Strong.
Frank… Strong and firm.
Seth… Next, Arthur.
Arthur… Is this idea of writing things down something that was given in a lecture in the last couple of weeks?
Seth… Oh, a few minutes ago.
Arthur… Em hmm. I think I bring my problems to friends more since I don’t have…
Seth… Bringing a problem to a friend is bringing them home.
Arthur… Yeah, that’s what I was saying, I think I, you said bring them at home or bring them… there is nobody.
Seth… Who do you walk in the door with?
Arthur… And I’ve actually in the last couple of weeks I’ve made changes especially with what has been happening in the world to let go of some problems or let go of worry about something and it had good results. I have to say I don’t do that the majority of time but that’s an interesting shift.
Seth… You still have to work on it because you have a tendency to hurt yourself, let’s put it to you that way.
In relationship issues, which is what you are all dealing with here, the object of finding a mate, someone that you can deal with on an equal footing must become secondary to the idea that you yourself are your own mate. Now the reason that that is factual and preferable since you cannot define and certainly not create that which you desire until you define yourself. One must always have the ability to reshape what you are. You must become aware of what your true needs are. Most individuals deal with want as if they were needs. I want this, I would like that, these are very, very simple ideas that eventually push you away from your true goal. The question arises, what is that true goal? Simply put, that true goal is the creation of a self that allows growth and prosperity to take center stage during that soul’s incarnation. It should be obvious here that the idea of re-creating yourself is mandatory if you choose to promote yourself into a higher plane of study. Simply put this means your first framework which is where you are now receives information, the words if you will from the second framework which are your writers. When you promote yourself to a higher plane you are causing your writers to become more interested in your growth and prosperity than they are in your day-to-day activities. Old souls routinely view this higher realm of thought as the basis for their background during their incarnations. (Jasmine asked to repeat which Seth did.) This gives you the ability to learn and change for yourself.
Jasmine… I don’t…
Seth… What are you confused about Jasmine?
Jasmine… So, the true goal is the creation of the self that allows growth and prosperity to take center stage.
Seth… Correct. Why is that important to you?
Jasmine… It’s important because that is what we are here to do.
Seth… That statement does not help you.
Jasmine… Well, you want to change who you are at the moment, in my case because I have too many negative issues.
Seth… And you want to create an individual who knows how to handle negativity and can learn how to be happy.
Jasmine… Correct.
Seth… That is what that statement means to you.
Jasmine… Right, now…
Seth… At least I got something right.
Jasmine… (Jasmine was reading back to material to herself.) Huh, okay that I understand. That if you are going to recreate yourself that it’s mandatory to do that if you are going to choose to promote yourself into a higher plane of study. Does that mean here or in the next incarnation?
Seth… Here.
Jasmine… Okay, so you accomplish this thing, in my case…
Seth… This task.
Jasmine… this task and then I will move on to something else that will involve a higher plane of study?
Seth… No, that higher plane of study will allow you to accomplish your task.
Jasmine… But it says here that the idea of recreating yourself is mandatory if you choose to promote yourself into a higher plan.
Seth… Correct. In other words, if you choose not to become someone who is fearful, who wallows into negativity, who is chronically unhappy…
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… you must recreate yourself so that your higher plane of study can look at these issues in a productive manner.
Jasmine… You are talking about the writers?
Seth… Right, that is correct.
Jasmine… The writers are the higher plane of study?
Seth… The writers grab from a higher plane of study instead of giving you the worry and the bother on a day-to-day basis. In other words, let me put it to you in a simple way, when you enmesh yourself in Isabella’s life your writers are writing very simply. You react in that way, you become miserable. If you were to recreate yourself…
Jasmine… The writers are writing my reactions?
Seth… Writers are the show, you are the actor.
Jasmine… Okay.
Seth… What goes on now here in your incarnation you are creating, you are creating from the second plane, the second framework.
Jasmine… Through the writers which are part of my higher self.
Seth… Correct. When you then go ahead and state, I am going to recreate myself into an individual that either can assist my daughter or just ignore her ridiculous actions, you can then look at her actions and say, “She is doing it again, if she asks for an opinion I will give it, otherwise I am going to go out, know what she is doing and I am going to be happy doing something else. I am going to ignore her.” So, your higher plane is giving you the ability to look at a negative line of study, yours towards Isabella and not have difficulty. Otherwise, you’re writing, “Isabella had a problem. I don’t like the man she is going out with. I’m worried that…, I am fearful that…, she does that.” What then happens is your wants are so great that you pass them along to Isabella who immediately becomes angry. And she becomes angry because she is dealing with the same problem with you over and over and over again. You then become angry because she is not being nice. So, you are going around in a circle and gaining nothing. The moment you foster a change in yourself and ignore what she does and promote you by doing something that you enjoy, whatever that is it matters not, Isabella will come to you and say, “You know this is what I am seeing with this fellow,” and you will give a simple opinion whatever it is and you will move along and she will say, “My mother didn’t get involved here, she just gave her opinion and walked away. Maybe I will take her advice, maybe I won’t.” For that is her choice and you’re not involved. Do you understand how creating from a higher plane gives you the freedom that you currently do not enjoy? Does this make more sense to you now?
Jasmine… I…
Seth… What do you get that you don’t understand?
Jasmine… I understand.
Seth… No, you don’t.
Jasmine… Yes, I do.
Seth… Please explain it to me?
Jasmine… Well, you just said that if I want to create a self that will allow for my growth and prosperity, I have to stop being so negative, I have to…
Seth… That would be your choice; you don’t have to do anything.
Jasmine… Well without that I’m not; I’m obviously not growing…
Seth… You’ll pick it up in another incarnation, it matters not.
Jasmine… We are talking about this incarnation, obviously. So, in order to do that I have to choose to promote myself and choose to leave those behaviors at the door, not bring them in here and in fact to not even let them in during the day. It’s not just at the door which is something I wanted to say to you before. You can’t just throw them out it’s synonymous of the whole day
Seth… The door, the door is symbolic.
Jasmine… And in the case of Isabella, she is not always the source of my negativity.
Seth… Who’s responsible for your negativity?
Jasmine… I’m responsible for it.
Seth… Correct. And who should be responsible for your happiness?
Jasmine… Me.
Seth… Do you need anyone to make your happiness better?
Jasmine… No.
Seth… Therefore, your choice…
Jasmine… Because that it is something I am working on.
Seth… Your choice is to never require anyone to give you happiness.
Jasmine… That’s true but there are normal things in life where you just feel happy because your child is happy…
Seth… When you become… when you become… (Seth and Jasmine talking at the same time.)
Jasmine… or you’re seeing your grandson, and he is not so shy that he won’t go trick or treating. Those are normal things.
Seth… Those are things; that is not what we are talking about. You are becoming very, very idea oriented here in terms of what you as an individual believe should be. That is not actually possible or factual. You require only yourself, something that gives you pleasure is nice to have.
Jasmine… Right.
Seth… But that is a specific, you need yourself first before anything else.
Jasmine… I understand that.
Seth… Let us go on. One must learn for themselves; one must attempt to fabricate the idea of a re-creation of that which you are into something that you would choose to become.
Isabella… Two things?
Seth… Go ahead.
Isabella… When you say fabricate, you mean if someone…
Seth… Create.
Isabella… So…
Seth… Make into.
Isabella… Fabricate the idea of re-creating of that which you are into something that you would choose to become so I guess; I was talking to Stephanie today about the idea that it saddens me that I have such a hard time giving of self so easily. And that (Isabella is upset.) I don’t really understand where that comes from, the idea that it is so hard for me just to not be selfish and to give which is a quality I truly hate about myself and that, you know this week when I was trying so hard to be giving and…
Seth… How did it make you feel to give?
Isabella… It feels good but it’s hard to do it and that’s what I find…
Seth… Because you don’t know how.
Isabella… But that’s what I found so upsetting because I found it hard. I found it like I was almost faking. Does that make sense? It wasn’t like, you know it was so weird for me to be acting that way that it felt awkward.
Seth… Why do you feel that that is so?
Isabella… Because I never did it before.
Seth… You never did it before; the first time you rode a bicycle how easy was it?
Isabella… I understand what you are saying but it saddens me that, that I have that quality. That is so, that is such a horrible thing.
Seth… It is not a question of horrible thing; it is a question of what you never learned how to do. So when you learn how to do it you will look back on it after you recreate yourself after you have your second framework write a different story for you and you will state to yourself, “It is much better to be able to give,” which will (This was unclear but essentially led to the question: Why is it not profitable to be too giving?) and give us all a bit of homework except for Kaetorina who already knows the answer and she will not discuss this with anybody. (To Stephanie.) Do you understand? It is a question of homework for all, if I tell you never to be too giving the question is why? And that we will start discussing next week. At this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:00 P.M.)
Seth… Are there any questions?
Isabella… Yeah, I am getting to a point where I am really beginning to focus on the things that I don’t like about myself and…
Seth… I do not understand your statement.
Isabella… The things that I would like to change about myself. That better?
Seth… No.
Isabella… Okay. The things that prevent me from growing and developing are becoming more prominent and I am becoming more aware of them.
Seth… Leave out the word prominent.
Isabella… I’m becoming more aware of them, and it really has nothing to do with finding a mate.
Seth… Everything has to do with finding a mate and it has everything to do with your long-range goal which is?
Isabella… Happiness.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… But what I am saying is these qualities that I find within myself are truly a me issue and not necessarily caused by somebody else and I understand what you’re saying that’s all about finding. I understand that about the mate and being able to utilize these things to make sure that I…
Seth… If you are happy and joyful with yourself, correct?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… What will you attract to yourself?
Isabella… The same in return.
Seth… See how one works with the other?
Isabella… I understand that.
Seth… So, your job this week is simply to do what?
Isabella… To write down the problems I have.
Seth… And identify it and then after you write it down how many solutions are you supposed to put down?
Isabella… As many as I can think of.
Seth… At least five.
Isabella… I am supposed to answer the questions.
Seth… Answer the questions by writing five possible solutions to the difficulty.
Isabella… So.
Seth… And then examine those five and move towards one of them.
Isabella… My issue is coming up with the idea of when what is the problem.
Seth… Of course, it is. Do you think that you are alone?
Isabella… Sometimes.
Seth… You’re never alone. (Said softly.) Write that down, I am never alone.
Isabella… I know I’m never alone. But, you know, I went to the therapist today and she was telling me that I can’t possibly prosper living in my parent’s house. I can’t possibly learn to be independent and feel like a grown up while I am living here. (Jasmine may have said something.) Excuse me, and that goes against everything that you’ve been saying.
Seth… That is absolutely correct, I am right, they are wrong, and it is simply put this way: Let us assume that you are living in an apartment alone. All you are then doing is having to go shopping for yourself, having to go ahead and wake up in the morning, leave and pay your own bills.
Isabella… Em hm.
Seth… You’re paying your own bills now to an extent except for not paying rent.
Isabella… I have offered.
Seth… Not even important. And so, you gain nothing, you gain nothing about learning interpersonal relationships by being alone. In fact, it may become detrimental to you. It is detrimental because your problems stem directly with your husband-ex, your past boyfriends-exs because you did not understand how to deal with them. You became lazy, demanding and reliant upon them. Show me how living alone helps that situation?
Isabella… Well, I guess in terms of the knowledge that I can take care of myself.
Seth… Can you take care of yourself?
Isabella… Absolutely.
Seth… Then please show me how doing what was stated makes you prosper?
Isabella… It doesn’t. But in reality, Mom also came to me and said that she feels I should be living by myself; you know.
Seth… That is an opinion for other reasons. Let’s leave that alone for the time being.
Isabella… No, well, I’m not going to leave it alone because it made me think so, you know, I felt…
Seth… Jasmine has difficulty with you living here because she enmeshes herself in your difficulties and if you were not here, she would not be able to do so, so readily. That is her problem, do not make it yours.
Isabella… Okay, I don’t want to contribute to her problems though.
Seth… You contribute to her problem whether you want to or not. That is not the issue. We are talking about Isabella.
Isabella… I understand that. I am beginning to understand the value of living here. More so than I ever have. I understand the value…
Seth… Do I believe you should live here for another five years? Absolutely not.
Isabella… No, I know, I understand that, and I don’t obviously think it is going to be a long period of time.
Seth… Then you must learn to give and to live in a proper communal relationship. The great difficulty that you have is that you walk into a community, you isolate yourself, you do not offer to give properly, and you do this with ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends and in your current living condition. So, when you learn to give properly, when you learn to give of self in a fair and just manner please move out as soon as you can because you will not then expect others to do for you. You expect others to care for you.
Isabella… Not really.
Seth… Absolutely, guaranteed.
Isabella… Can you explain how I expect others to do for me? In the sense of living here?
Seth… You expect others to take in your laundry, take it out.
Isabella… No, I do not.
Seth… Excuse me, your dry cleaning you absolutely do ask for favors. Do not learn to ask for them, ask for them to do them yourself, that’s number one. Number two, okay, do you routinely help with dinner, the answer is no. Do you go ahead and routinely say, don’t bother with the dishes, I am going to do it all myself, the answer is no. Do you go ahead and say my dog has made a mess; I clean up the dog don’t even bother to ask about it, it will be done on a day-to-day basis and do it on a day-to-day basis. There are so many things that you do not do because you do not know how and that is your problem.
Isabella… Well, I guess it is about for…
Seth… And it is sharing of self in a proper manner.
Isabella… So why don’t I know how to do it?
Seth… Because A, you never observed it.
Isabella… What do you mean by never observed it?
Seth… You never observed, women model themselves after the female of the house if there is one. Jasmine believes that she requires somebody to care and to do for her. That is what you learned. Therefore, you have to unlearn that and learn to do for yourself. That is one of the primary reasons why I have stated that moving out for you would be a great miscarriage of justice. You cannot learn these things living alone because the second knowing you and I know you far better than you know yourself someone comes into you meaning you are now sharing with them; you demand that they do for you. In other words, why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you contact me? When I call you, you never responded back quickly enough. (Isabella is acknowledging throughout this exchange with “Em.”) When I wanted to do this, you weren’t interested. All these things have to be unlearned until they can be learned in a proper manner.
And the great difficulty I have with you therapist people is the simple idea that you only hear half of a story. You don’t see the other half because it cannot be reported fairly since the person who is giving the story is biased to begin with for there is no one who reports and goes to a therapist and says I am an evil person, I did this horrible thing, I don’t do that horrible thing; I am only caring for myself. So, you go ahead and cloak if you will, you camouflage even unwillingly camouflage that which you present to someone else. For example, when you go ahead and you deal with a new male figure, isn’t it common that both individuals are always both on their best behavior for quite a length of time?
Isabella… Of course.
Seth… Then all of a sudden you will see things and you will say to yourself, “Where did this come from! Why did this show up now? How come I didn’t see that?” Well, those are the cloaking and camouflage devices that individuals use even when they don’t want to.
Isabella… So…
Seth… And when you become comfortable the real persona shows up.
Isabella… So, let’s just say I meet somebody new, just use it as example and he doesn’t call me for a day, and it bothers me.
Seth… Why?
Isabella… Because I would feel that that is a rejection, let’s just say.
Seth… You want instead of giving.
Isabella… Explain.
Seth… In other words, you want him to do everything he can for you and my question would be, why?
Isabella… Because in the sense that would make me feel good about me because I was defining myself based on the fact that he called or didn’t call.
Seth… And should you do that?
Isabella… No.
Seth… Okay.
Isabella… So, then I guess the challenge is to say to yourself or myself, it’s okay that this person didn’t call and if they do, great and if they don’t screw him.
Seth… You are just as great.
Isabella… Kind of thing. You know what I mean?
Seth… You learn from negativity by not participating in it.
Isabella… Right so it is kind of like, I guess where I get confused is the idea that the thought will come in or the upsetedness or whatever and then I want to just be able to say screw it and let it go but the problem is that I kind of harp on that.
Seth… Did you throw your troubles at the tree?
Isabella… No.
Seth… You brought them into the house.
Isabella… But is it okay to have the thought in the first place?
Seth… Of course, it is.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Would you be normal not to say, “Hmm I thought I had a good time; I wonder why?”
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Well, I am never going to know the reason, that’s the end of that, you move your trouble away…
Isabella… And move along.
Seth… and move along.
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… You see the difference?
Isabella… Yes, I do.
Seth… And the idea of someone telling you that you will never grow up if, foolish statement because you will never learn to live properly unless you do. Which is more important?
Isabella… The latter.
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… In this situation with Joe this weekend that just past and I felt that he was not being affectionate enough or in terms of the fact that he was, is not willing to pick up and move here, let’s just say or drop his life for me or whatever.
Seth… What does that tell you about him?
Isabella… You see but that is contradictory to what you were just saying.
Seth… No, it is not.
Isabella… It is contradictory.
Seth… No, it is not, why not?
Isabella… Well, I have already come to the conclusion that I know that it’s not going anywhere but my problem is that I said he can’t fulfill the needs that I have.
Seth… I understand what you are saying but that is not the issue. He is in a relationship; any fair relationship one person will give a little more, one person will give a little less in certain instances and it works in like a pendulum. When one person is only considering themselves as you commonly do for yourself, it can’t work, it doesn’t work because there is no fair compromise here and what you are seeing here with Joseph is the fact that all that he has dealt with Jasmine in a number of lifetimes the idea is and it is a simple one, I am so enmeshed in myself that I know nothing else.
Isabella… Yeah, he is, very much so.
Seth… And therefore, I cannot grow, I cannot prosper, I cannot learn because I am stagnant. That is what is wrong.
Isabella… I know, I notice that.
Seth… And therefore…
Isabella… And I am okay with that, and I am okay with recognizing him for who he is and all that and understanding.
Seth… And that will not change unless he decides to change it and obviously, he doesn’t want to.
Isabella… Obviously, so I mean; I understand what you are saying but my question is was I being too needy?
Seth… Let’s assume that you were.
Isabella… You know what I mean like…
Seth… Let us assume that you were, whether you were or not matters not.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… Let us assume that you were being too needy, what does that teach you?
Isabella… Um…
Seth… That you have to learn to live properly in a community and that is part of the question that I add to the end of the formal lecture: What does it mean to give too much? You will have to think about that for a week as part of your homework.
Isabella… You completely lost me…
Seth… I know I did, and you are going to have to think about it.
Isabella… because when I said that you said what did you learn from being too needy, you learn to live in a community.
Seth… No, you have to learn to live in a community, not that you do live in a community. When you are too needy you have to learn to live properly in a community. You have to learn to share that which the community requires.
Isabella… Yeah, but how did that, but how did my being too needy in this situation with Joe this weekend have to do with anything with living in a community?
Seth… If you live with one person how does that mean you are not living in a community?
Isabella… If I live with one person?
Seth… When you lived with your husband…
Isabella… Right, yes, I understand that.
Seth… Same thing here.
Isabella… I don’t know why I am not grasping.
Seth… You will have to contemplate it.
Isabella… I don’t understand what you just said at all.
Seth… I understand that.
Isabella… So, can you just repeat what you said so that I can understand it?
Seth… I am simply stating that when you are in the process of living with someone…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… and you are so needy…
Isabella… Right.
Seth… what are you asking?
Isabella… Everything.
Seth… What’s wrong with that?
Isabella… You’re not splitting the responsibilities let’s just say.
Seth… You’re not being an equal partner.
Isabella… Right, I understand that.
Seth… And that is what being too needy is.
Isabella… So, I wasn’t being an equal partner to him this weekend?
Seth… Whether you were or not matters not because his play was different than yours.
Isabella… Okay well I mean that’s really what I am getting; I am trying to figure out exactly where if I was being too needy.
Seth… And I said hypothetically let’s assume that you were, but it had nothing to do with what he was.
Isabella… Right, okay, that’s cool.
Seth… Which is what I stated in the beginning.
Isabella… Well, it was very roundabout.
Seth… No, it wasn’t. Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I have a trust question.
Seth… Trust me, that’s the answer. (Said humorously.)
Stephanie… (Laughed.) How do you leave the troubles at the door so to speak when, how, no, how do you trust that the troubles will leave in order to leave go of the troubles?
Seth… You leave go of the troubles first, you don’t dwell on them.
Stephanie… But in order to do that don’t you have to trust the troubles will leave?
Seth… No, not at all because you may require the solutions tomorrow, the next day or the next or the next day. When you are at home you choose to become at rest and at peace. You choose to be happy, simply put. Choose to be happy whatever that statement means to you. Choose…to…be…happy. (Seth tapped on the table to indicate to write down.)
Stephanie… Right and for me that would be in a restful place.
Seth… Calm place.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… You do not require as our friend Frank does the answers immediately.
Stephanie… Right, okay so it is the idea knowing of course that the universe will provide solutions, and it already has at the same moment the problems were created. It is the idea of knowing that they will play themselves out in a favorable…
Seth… In any way they do.
Stephanie… Okay that would…
Seth… You may not get your quote unquote “desire” because that would be unreasonable. However, what you must understand is that when you leave your troubles here and don’t dwell upon them you give yourself a chance to reflect, to relax and to prosper and very commonly the problems are so unimportant to you, you need never to bother with them again.
Stephanie… The perception of the problem or the actual problem?
Seth… The actual problem becomes very commonly not important to you, leave it go. You never pick it up again. That was why in the story when our carpenter stated commonly when I go out the next morning I didn’t have as many problems as I thought I did and they weren’t as serious as I thought they were.
Stephanie… Um, but let’s just take a hypothetical and I don’t really think this is going to occur, but I am just going to use it. When I went into a fearful place about Bill losing his job for example.
Seth… Let’s assume that he did.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Let’s assume that he does.
Stephanie… So how is that a fabrication of a problem?
Seth… Because you’re dwelling on it when something didn’t occur. You are bringing it home…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… You become very worried about it, have you not previously spoken to him about it and given him solutions?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Has the man through whom I speak spoken to him about it and given him other solutions?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Why are you bringing it into the house and becoming foolish about it?
Stephanie… Right, I understand that what if he lost his job tomorrow then what would I do with those troubles and how would I see they are not existent.
Seth… The troubles still stay at the doorstep because he is already put into motion things to rectify those difficulties.
Stephanie… Let’s say the person didn’t in the hypothetical.
Seth… And if the person doesn’t then he can so he will have to take steps to remedy whatever those problems are but to take them home with you and to spend night after night worrying, contemplating and making yourself ill what happens to the problems? They become larger.
Stephanie… Right, especially also if it is not literally your play.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Which is a bigger issue more so because I have no control.
Seth… No control at all.
Stephanie… So that’s really the first reason to abandon that problem anyway because it is not really mine?
Seth… It isn’t yours.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Any other questions?
Frank… Can you give me any more information on the dream animals that I had during the week?
Seth… Give us a moment. The dream animals are aspects of your own personality that you have broken up to examine why you have a great tendency to jail yourself and not allow yourself the freedom to roam freely, whether it be thought, whether it be action whether it would be certain associative aspects of your own personality that you would like to be able to achieve. The taking of your hand and trying to lead you out, it is you yourself trying to pull yourself out of the jail or in your instance a corral.
Frank… Does it matter the animal.
Seth… No, they were just pieces of you
Frank… Okay but um, okay.
Isabella… Is there a way to avoid having bad dreams?
Seth… No and in fact you want them.
Isabella… Because I have bad dreams almost every single night.
Seth… Because you want them, you want something to know that you are working on. And in fact, you get most of your great answers by being fearful in your dreams because in reality you are more awake there than you are here. You do understand that?
Isabella… Because my dreams are intense, and I wake up and I am affected for hours.
Seth… Because you allow yourself to be affected for hours instead of saying I know I am working on difficulties, and you then ask yourself if you have time to go back to asleep to let us see if I can find a nice solution to this difficulty.
Isabella… And lately a lot of my dreams have been about losing Krypto.
Seth… In general, a loss or being alone, it doesn’t matter who it was. It could have been the animal, meaning the dog. It could have been your father, your mother, could be loss of a husband, could be a loss of a friend, could have been a loss of a job, could have been a loss of anything else. It is the idea of loss that you are dealing with here. You understand?
Isabella… So, it is just work.
Seth… It is just work. Whether the animal, your father, your mother, a friend decides to end their incarnation tonight…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… has nothing to do in reality with what you are dealing with here.
Isabella… In my dream, meaning?
Seth… Correct. It is the general aspect of loss…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… that you are having difficulty with. Does that make it clearer for you?
Isabella… Yeah, but it is disturbing.
Seth… Should it not be? How can you deal with something that for you would be a problem?
Isabella… A lot of times they are like horrible, they are like nightmares.
Seth… It is what you are remembering from other planes that you are bringing in. It is the trying to identify that which is really bothering you.
Frank… Why does it seem like you are less aware? Because you are remembering from this side?
Seth… No. When you work in a dream state you are not here and you are working on the problem in many different avenues, realms if you will, dimensions. Well if you are working within a dimension of only sound or you are working within a dimension of only color that which appears to you here cannot be a true representation of what was there so as you are coming back here there are sign posts you set up, you bring it here, you bring it here, you bring it here and as you come in you are gathering information that you have to interpret in terms of physical plane being and as you interpret that in terms of physical plane being things become distorted. So, for example, what you would say as wearing a bad hat here may be a bluff in a western scene somewhere else, flat top.
Frank… But specifically, with the animal dream, what I remember was that I wasn’t even being aware of being fearful but yet I saw it as a representation of the dream. So, it seems like I was less aware, like why didn’t I get that? That I was being fearful and should face it.
Seth… Why are you walking into a tree? You have an answer, why are you walking into a tree? Why didn’t I immediately see it and the answer is because you didn’t.
Jasmine… The difficulty for Frank is because he chooses not to look at it?
Seth… No because sometimes it doesn’t make sense and you need an outside source, a friend, a relative, a “therapist” quotes around therapist, okay that will allow you to say this is what my dream was, I don’t understand it. Whether you are fearful or not or want to remember or not want to remember is in fact the same thing, it is just the simple fact that you may not have understood it and that was as simply as I could put it. Don’t make more out of that than it is really worth.
Frank… Understand where, here or there?
Seth… Here because you are coming from there to here.
Frank… In terms of dealing with Katelyn and Emma and speaking to Katelyn…
Seth… Closer, hold the microphone, closer.
Frank… With Cyndi there I was attempting to be helpful to Katelyn who can be very stubborn, and it also came into how aspects of how she treats Emma might also be aspects of how she views her relationship with her boyfriend.
Seth… Certainly possible.
Frank… And at that point she said, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore!”
Seth… Of course, not but isn’t that the same idea of living in a proper community and the same idea that if you don’t live within a proper community and learn how to communicate and learn how to deal with an individual on that level. As an example, where Isabella was sitting, and you don’t learn how to deal with that then the mistakes will carry over to someone or something else. That is the degree of difficulty where the and I put large quotes around this “her therapist” and I question that statement, “you are not going to get anywhere by living at home because you won’t grow up” and my question would be to the therapist would be why not? And her answer to me would be because she becomes so dependent upon…
Frank… She is looking at the wrong thing.
Seth… Totally incorrect.
Frank… Well, my question kind of lands more with, now if I continued to push back that would have been, I think detrimental but could have Katelyn actually heard that absorbed that and then something changes or does the refusal mean, no or is it…
Seth… You will never know. You will never know.
Frank… Unless I see it later on…
Seth… Correct.
Frank… because it would reappear and then I have to be helpful in that regard as best as I can, and it is what it is.
Seth… Correct, it is.
Frank… Does, one of the things I am having trouble with is she does seem to be choosing this boy as the boy and he is very fearful which contributes to her problem with what she is picking out is just so terrible, can I help the boy?
Seth… If he wants it. I cannot…
Frank… I can offer it?
Seth… You cannot, as Kaetorina knows jam it down somebody’s throat, she so enjoys hearing that.
Frank… Am I…
Seth… You will not be able to do anything about it unless he decides to…
Frank… Am I at risk…
Seth… if he desires…
Frank… Right. I could be, I could be more friendly to him and…
Seth… You certainly can if you choose to be and if you don’t choose to be then of course you won’t be.
Frank… I think my fear there is that Katelyn has to find her own mate and then somehow, I am influencing that.
Seth… Your being kindly considerate has nothing to do with anything. Why would you want to go ahead and be aloof, how does that serve him or you? If you do not like the individual…
Frank… My fear was that by not allowing people to work out what they have to work on that I would be interfering or…
Seth… It is not a question of interfering, does the other individual desire your assistance and have they asked for it?
Frank… I haven’t offered enough to know; I don’t know if he would like it or not.
Seth… Well, why would you even offer if he hasn’t asked for it.
Frank… Because he is, because I am seeing that he is having difficulty and she is having difficulty, so I see it and there is difficulty, that’s exactly my question.
Seth… That is not your play.
Frank… I know that’s why I am asking this, but you seem to have said just before that I should offer assistance…
Seth… No.
Frank… but now you are backing away from it.
Seth… I did not back away from it. I clearly stated that if you are not careful you are going to type this session as well.
Frank… (Laughs.) For what? Being a support? (It is March 14, 2010 as I type this, F.N.)
Seth… That’s right. Because I clearly stated to you, clearly, “If he asks for assistance, you can offer it.” Has he asked for assistance?
Frank… Jeez, I think he is too afraid to do that.
Seth… Why?
Frank… Because he is a very fearful guy, or he doesn’t want it.
Seth… So, if you are a friend and you’re kind and you’re generous then you have no problem.
Frank… If I am friendly, if I am kind, if I am generous, I still have to wait…
Seth… Yes, you do.
Frank… and have him ask me that.
Seth… Right, all you have to say is what do you think of or how do you feel about.
Frank… I kind of doubt that this individual will ever be able to go there.
Seth… Then that is not your concern. You cannot live his play.
Frank… I don’t want to live his play; I just want to offer assistance.
Seth… Sure, you do, the second, I want, I want, I want, that is what you said so many times and that is what you are getting is exactly what you asked for.
Frank… I would like to offer.
Seth… No, you want.
Frank… Okay, okay, now.
Seth… And I point out this man is a therapist but go ahead.
Frank… With Emma and this concept of that she marches to the beat of her own drummer.
Seth… So?
Frank… She doesn’t seem to recognize that anybody else has any other kind of tune?
Seth… So?
Frank… So, she seems to be walking into walls, she is not doing her, she has problems with her boyfriend, she has problems with drama, she has problems with getting her application (for college) done.
Seth… As a teacher you point out her difficulties and you very, very, nicely state, very, very nicely state these are things that you are required to do so such as your application if you choose to do them that fine, if you choose not to do them then I don’t want to hear about the fact that you are not going away.
Frank… That doesn’t serve me she has to do, she’ll do.
Seth… Sure, it does and if she chooses not to go away that’s a choice and she will learn from her mistakes.
Frank… I like the answer earlier in the session better where I would sit down with her and do the application because I have abdicated, I should sit down with her.
Seth… No, you will… And she has abdicated her rights so you ask so when are you going to do this? If you don’t, stay home. It’s the same answer.
(Someone said something like to just do them for her.)
Frank… No, I would not do them, I would sit with her, or I would look at it, I haven’t done that. What I have been doing is how far along are you with your application? Have you done this?
Seth… If you don’t get your applications done and you don’t fairly send them to your schools you want to send them you as the parent have monetary issues here and she can also say I would like to send them to this, this, this, you can go ahead, and we will cross the bridge when we come to it.
Frank… Right.
Seth… There is no problem with that, but you can say if you don’t get them out you’re staying home. I would be happy to help you, when are we going to do this? Same answer.
Frank… The final, I think the finale question. When I write or I try to put together newsletters and there are different times when I have difficulties lately in wrapping my head around things because I try to, like I tried to present information on solving problems… (Here Frank became somewhat confused and convoluted.)
Seth… You are walking into trees.
Frank… So how can I…
Seth… Start with a simple question. Problem solving has many aspects and you would start with the simplest one. How to solve a problem, what do I do first? I organize and that’s how you start that portion of a newsletter and then the next month you say after you organize your thoughts, after you look at the problem carefully, you are going to list five or six or two possible solutions and after you look at solutions you are going to pick the one that best satisfies your needs. You can break up the problem solving into many different aspects. Do you understand?
Frank… I do. I’m not sure who is even reading the newsletter.
Seth… That’s why you go ahead, and you deal with the idea on a very simple basis.
Frank… One should be able to read one and not know the others exist and still get something out of it and not have it be confusing send them down a trail.
Seth… Correct. So, you start simply because in the second one you refer back to the first, now that you have identified the problem you’ve written it down here is the next step.
Frank… Alright.
Seth… Let me leave you with this: Change is a process, sometimes it is quite simple, at other times it is quite difficult. When change is incorporated into self you will learn to promote a higher way of thinking and in doing so your needs become apparent and your wants are only aspects of the question itself. Remember your homework, why is it not profitable, why is it incorrect to be too giving? I bid you all a very fond good evening.
(Session ended at 9:51 P.M.)
