Seth 391
Change is Not Straightforward, Be Ready
Tuesday Nov 25, 2008
8:39 p.m.
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here again. Two bits of housekeeping, notations: Kaetorina…
Stephanie… Yes?
Seth… The next book assignment is quite simple. It is a simply small book, I have written. It is actually a group of essays that were written, and it is very, very simple in terms of its length for you that you will have to do. It is “The Magical Approach”; it is approximately, that thick. (Seth demonstrated with finger and thumb, spread maybe a half inch apart. Stephanie giggled as she does not “love” to read.)
You will have exactly six weeks to do it.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… Jasmine, how is your year doing in terms of your reading?
Jasmine… I just started; I took it with me yesterday and read it in the doctor’s office.
Seth… And how many pages have you read?
Jasmine… I guess about twenty-five. Slow. (Meaning hard.)
Seth… Yes, it is, and I am surprised that you did no reading while you were gone.
Jasmine… Me too.
Seth… That you got that far. I would strongly suggest and recommend that you go back to page one and very slowly go over…
Jasmine… I don’t think that is necessary, I remember everything from it but…
Seth… I would again, strongly recommend that.
Under our subject of Change we have the idea that individuals have the notion that things proceed along in a straightforward path. This idea itself actually prevents change.
Jasmine… This idea?…
Seth… itself actually prevents change. When one is not ready for an occurrence that doesn’t seem normal it is the idea of something not being predictable, “I should have foreseen this,” that gives individuals a sense of holding on to the status quo. A simple example here will enlighten this idea; a tree grows from a sapling. It increases in height, increases in width. The rings that form during each growing season are predictable. Not necessary their size but each growing season will have a new ring. The tree will shed its bark to allow growth from within. This is the nature of the tree. Souls who inhabit the physical plane have the luxury of being able to determine how and where growth should occur. Without the unpredictable nature of the physical plane change is unnecessary. If everything would constantly move in a routine and linear fashion, then one is able to foresee clearly what events must take place.
Since the nature of reality has been defined, it is clear that routine events are not helpful for a soul’s growth and development. How often have I explained that your point of power is in the present and that the past and future are equally changeable? Nothing is ever predetermined. One may have a sense of a task or a challenge that appears on the horizon. Yet this challenge may never have to be dealt with if you are able to change your course. Your vision of that which is, routinely eliminates that which it is not.
The seemingly random nature of events such as an automobile accident is a clear indication of the unpredictability of events, yet and I remind each reader that there is no such thing as a coincidence. These seemingly contradictory statements allow change to occur in a quote here “orderly fashion,” close quotes.
When you decide to do something as you would say on the quote, unquote “spur of the moment” you are allowing for the unpredictable nature of self. And in doing so you promote change from within.
Your growth and development at any soul age is determined by you! Are you ready for the change? What is your vision of this particular challenge that will allow you to move forward… (Someone said, “Hold up.”) I will pause… in an orderly fashion.
(Jasmine here read back material in order to be able to write it down correctly.)
Seth… to move forward in an orderly fashion. As most parents know, there is a readiness for their children to learn, to read, to walk, to speak in their own “time”. When one attempts to change when they are not ready or when change is forced upon another individual soul the results are always detrimental to that particular individual. They are detrimental since the growth potential of the change is severely limited. The unpredictable nature of the physical plane is a challenge for all individuals who require growth and prosperity.
Every soul age gives individuals an opportunity to recreate themselves in a manner here-to-for unknown to that individual. When one tends to stagnate and accept that which is without challenging themselves the growth potential is limited.
Each individual develops with others around them. Some individuals you feel comfortable with. Your personality and theirs fit each other, both of you tend to give strength and comfort to the other and very little effort is required to keep the spark of friendship alive.
Yet there are times when others have served their purpose, and they are a detriment to your health and well being. Individuals are literally attached to emotional ties that basically stem from one individual to another. These are “the ties that bind.” When you do not see that individual or hear from that individual your heart seems to ache, therefore one may state that the tie literally goes from one heart to another.
So, my dear friends what happens when you find an individual that no longer serves your best interests? How do you cut the cord that binds you? (Someone asked to hold on a second and there was a pause.) What does one do to successfully remove that individual? It is clear that many individuals long for what they mistakenly believe as closeness. One tends to remember and fantasize about how good it is\was to be involved with that particular person.
The first thing that it is necessary for you to do is to examine those ties that at one point tied you to the other individual. Questions such as, what attracted me to this individual? Why did I find it profitable to continue a relationship that was moving in a negative fashion? These questions and many more will enable you to determine what proper course of action is necessary for you to take.
How do I go about severing that which binds me? I sever the relationship by promoting myself, by making adjustments for that which profits me. In other words, I become selfish! I matter, I am the one who determines my play, and I will never allow myself to be at the mercy or become a victim of another’s injustice. This my dear reader gives one the ability to sever that which no longer profits me. When I was ready to look at myself, I was then ready to promote myself in any fashion that I deemed necessary. Peroid.
How many times have you deluded yourself into believing that the other will change for you? The unpredictability of the physical plane makes that idea foolish. At best the other soul may try to incorporate some of the things that you require if their play can be modified to allow this change. If only one could understand that you are the master of your own destiny since you are what you create, then and only then will you truly be able to permanently cut the cords that bind you to another and in doing so you will promote yourself in ways that you cannot imagine.
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(Break at 9:20)
Seth… Let us continue… We will make this simple, are there any questions?
Isabella… I don’t have any. (Laughter.)
George… Could you please review for me what it means that the past and the future are equally changeable with the past being equally changeable?
Seth… Let us start with a simple statement, where is your greatest point of power?
George… Now.
Seth… Now, right from where you are, in the present. Let us assume from that point of power you have made a decision to look for a residency in veterinary surgery and you are determined to make that decision factual. You are then going to attract that which you require to make your decision factual. Now when this occurs your future is different then it was. Do you understand that? But your past must also change. Why? Because you could not go to the new route for the future with out your past accommodating those changes. Do you understand?
George… Yes.
Seth… In other words, when you go ahead and have something change, you are on a different path, correct?
George… Em hmm.
Seth… To get to that different path, something behind you from your line of thinking must have changed because you can not start here at the present and go here instead of here without something here behind you making an accommodation for you to go on a different path.
George… You mean that your present is making an accommodation?
Seth… No, it is actually your past. In other words, when you went ahead and decided that you wanted to become a surgical resident, you first decided to stay an extra year instead of moving to another way, so your past changed. Instead of leaving you stayed.
George… (Said something about his future.)
Seth… No, no that is your future when you decided to do something your past changed. Because it allowed you to make decisions to stay. Instead of giving up you went forward.
George… How about changes that I did in past? (Not completely accurate because George tends to speak in a low tone and volume.)
Seth… Your decision was based upon certain factors. Those factors became relevant if you moved in one direction as compared to another. Do you understand now? So, your past changed to accommodate your present and your future. Remember time does not truly exist as you believe it does in a linear fashion.
George… Okay, well… (Something about time which again was not clearly audible.)
Seth… We’ll get to it soon. Now, do you have anything, another question?
George… No not really. I have personal work questions. And I was getting my review, one of my reviews today and they were talking more about what seems to be “things” from the past interms of my relationship to the staff at the hospital and being liked and being respected. The comments were that I was still being seen as kind of arrogant by the support staff in the hospital and I still don’t know how to… I try to be different with people, but I don’t know physically how to… what do I need to do differently other than…
Seth… You do not have to make yourself be liked. If you will be kind, if you will be generous, if you will speak in a tone that is not condescending, if you do not order, if you do not expect others to immediately follow exactly your specific words but are in general accommodating to another’s feelings; this is what they are talking about. You are at times from your upbringing so routine, so demanding that you do not see yourself as anything, but this is what it is. You must learn to calm yourself down to slowly make a change so that others can appreciate you. You do have nothing to prove. Others do not have anything to prove, yet your upbringing demands that you prove how good you are. For if you do not show everyone how good you are you are not worth anything. Do you understand?
George… I think so. I feel like I have taken steps to try and be more like acquiescent and ask people in a less demanding manner and do things like that.
Seth… Remember your relationship with some of the staff has had a romantic nature and that automatically puts you at a disadvantage to the others here for they feel you are giving here but not giving there. It is a common misconception that workplace romance is profitable, most of the time it is highly detrimental, for you cannot gain by pleasing this while ignoring that. And that also plays into it.
George… That was what I was thinking.
Seth… Anything else?
George… Can you give me any insights into what’s wrong with my mom right now? Because I am talking about in therapy what’s troubling her so much now.
Seth… Well, what’s troubling her is your father’s situation. That’s obvious and she is worried about money. She is worried about what her future will bring. (George asked something that was not picked up by the tape recorder.) Everything and it will of course give her dis-ease, which it certainly has. And with dis-ease obviously there is a great amount of stress that goes along with this which can obviously lead to other factors.
Is there anything else? Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… Can you talk about the idea of this philosophy with old, old friends versus family? Who are you talking about? Anybody who you are in a relationship with who does not serve you?
Seth… Why does it have to be in your mind one or the other? It is not a question of old friends or family. It may be a new friend.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… It may be an acquaintance, it may be a family member, it may be a friend, and the relationship does not have to be quotes here and be very careful with this notion “bad”.
Stephanie… Uh huh.
Seth… It is a relationship that is not making itself profitable for you as it is habitual. Commonly it is perfectly justifiable that people will stay in certain relationships because of the other.
Stephanie… Right, that’s what I am referring to.
Seth… And if you do and you do not feel materially disadvantaged you can limit some of the relationship, you can expand another portion of it but this is not the issue.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… The issue is what do you feel that you should do? What profits you? Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yeah, I mean… So, the people I am talking about like with old friends, I don’t feel it’s detrimental to me. You know, I don’t feel, I am not sure whether they can add anything but how would one know? You can choose to use yourself differently with people that will promote the other of course being different? So, I don’t really know for sure because I have trust issues.
Seth… So, then your relationship issues have to be narrowed.
Stephanie… With these individuals?
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… Right where I feel okay to be there for them, but I would not, if I had something, I needed to deal with depending what it is I might go to them for certain things. I wouldn’t necessarily go to them for others. So, it is limited…
Seth… It can be.
Stephanie… So, I would go to others around me.
Seth… Of course.
Stephanie… Right, which I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I think it is just the idea…
Seth… It is not a question of right or wrong, it is a question of what do you feel serves you.
Stephanie… Right so I wouldn’t necessarily think they would serve?
Seth… Are you learning to be selfish here is the real question?
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Then there is no problem.
Stephanie… I would be, I understand that. If I had unrealistic expectations and kept wanting them to be what they are not, then that would not serve me and that would be destructive.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I know I have something else I wanted to ask.
Seth… What else did you want to ask?
Stephanie… Um, you know it was very interesting the whole idea of, you know, promoting change. The whole idea of, you know, you have talked about this several times already, the idea of taking a different route home than the same route. To move toward it and to not do things routinely in the same fashion, over and over for growth and development.
Seth… Let us look at an idea of that: your husband, William’s idea was to totally run away from a problem that he is having with his mother who is not well.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… “I will ignore it, I will not deal with it,” how is that profitable at all?
Stephanie… It’s not.
Seth… Yet when the man through whom I speak through you gave William the idea of that it is proper to see his mother and he did. One may then question, what was the profitability in seeing this woman who was obviously in great dis-ease?
Stephanie… Yeah, it was very disturbing for him, actually.
Seth… Actually, what was the profit there? Do you know?
Stephanie… It was I believe the profit there is about connection, and what one does when one shows that they care.
Seth… It is learning to be a friend, certainly learning to be a better son.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… But it also gives the idea that to the individual that you gave of yourself enough to specifically do something that where the mother said, “Don’t see me, don’t look at me.” You cared enough to not to listen.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And that was a test that he admirably passed.
Stephanie… With her?
Seth… Correct, and for himself.
Stephanie… Em hmm. Well, she said to him, “Don’t come,” specifically?
Seth… That was the message that was given.
Stephanie… Right. Uh huh. So, he wanted to listen to that. That benefited…
Seth… It fits into “I can ignore.”
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… “I do not have to be involved.”
Stephanie… Em hmm and then interestingly enough the rest of the kids followed suit. I don’t know if that was about Bill, but they all knew to, you know, the brother is going to come for Thanksgiving and maybe he will spend it with his father. And then the sister who was going to come to us is going to go to her instead. So, they all were doing what was, you know, appropriate.
I wanted to (ask a question,) the whole idea of allowing for the unpredictable nature of self so you know the doing, something like the idea of doing something off the cuff?
Seth… Did not William unpredictably…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… go to his mother?
Stephanie… Yeah, right, it’s living out of the box, so to speak. But when you were saying, you can not do something when you are not yet ready to do so, how would one know whether they’re ready to do so?
Seth… It is not a question of knowing when they are ready, someone gives you advice and you are the teacher, and you are giving your student advice.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Do they have to accept the advice?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Therefore, they were not ready.
Stephanie… So, when you are dealing with children…
Seth… Even adults, what is the difference? You gave William advice…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… you will give a patient advice, what happens when you ram the advice down the throat of a patient?
Stephanie… (Laughs as this is an old point made by Seth.) They run away. (Laughs.)
Seth… Because they are not ready.
Stephanie… Right, em hmm.
Seth… And that is the difference.
Stephanie… Right, but in teaching children, they you know, it seems to be a little precarious there because they don’t, you know they are working on things, they are just first learning. So, there might be increments where they might be ready for them to accept…
Seth… There may accept something here but not accept something there.
Stephanie… So how would you know if?…
Seth… You try, you present information.
Stephanie… You still do it?
Seth… You still present information.
Stephanie… So do the teaching. So that’s the idea like when I am trying to help Natalie with the loss issues. I don’t know whether she is ready to make whatever change from the statement.
Seth… But she may listen to you today…
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… but not accept that information for a year.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right but it doesn’t mean you don’t give it.
Seth… Correct. Because in the withholding of information you harm yourself; for, “I should have said that, if I had been smarter, I would have done that.”
Stephanie… Right, you do it anyway.
Seth… In a kind and just manner.
Stephanie… Right, without expectations.
Seth… Without the return which is what you are talking about.
Stephanie… Right, so you know, you can see how that would be difficult there because if you are teaching you might expect that there would be results from it but not necessarily.
Seth… Correct. Just as I present information to all who sit around this table.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And individuals make promises, they make threats, they ignore, they don’t listen. How does that affect me?
Stephanie… It doesn’t.
Seth… Therefore, do I care?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… And since I don’t care I have no value judgment on what they do or what they don’t do. It is from my vantage point that I give the information.
Stephanie… Right, because it could be helpful.
Seth… Because I’m aware from my research, from the way I view things that my vision is better than yours. Not that I am a better individual. My vision is better; it is clearer than yours because yours is limited by the physical plane itself. Therefore, if I make a request of you and you agree to the request but don’t follow through, so be it.
Stephanie… Em hmm, right, so you know, Natalie brought up again this idea of, “Oh, I know why I am afraid, upset about Sprinkles because I love him so much! I don’t want anything to happen to him.” So, what kinds of things would I, could I say to her in those examples?
Seth… Simple example…
Stephanie… When she brings up this topic?
Seth… “I understand the worry that you have but does worrying about what might happen make it better?”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… She’s not ready to cut the tie that binds her to the fear of loss.
Stephanie… Right, em hmm, so she would say, “I can’t help it.”
Seth… And you can say, “For right now, you can’t. But should you not do that? Which would be better?”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… “I can’t help it,” is a very poor excuse which in reality means, “I don’t want to!”
Stephanie… Right, so if I actually asked why would you want to continue to worry about something that…
Seth… May not happen for a long time. What useful purpose does it serve?
Stephanie… Right and Peter of course has the same thing because he worries routinely. It is not about loss, necessarily, it’s just about life and change.
Seth… Peter worries about change.
Stephanie… Change, yeah.
Seth… Same answer.
Stephanie… Right, because I’ll say, “Peter, why do you do this to yourself? Why do you give yourself all kinds of worries and this and that?”
(In a mimic of Peter’s voice,) “I can’t help it!”
You know…
Seth… I would check your phone.
Stephanie… My phone? Nothing… You are getting something that’s not here yet. (Laughs.) Perhaps… So, it seems that Peter asks for, it seems like he asks for assistance that he… he worries
Seth… Does not require.
Stephanie… Does not require what?
Seth… The assistance. “Do for me, for I do not want to do for myself.”
Stephanie… But when he is worrying for example about the teacher who is going to be harsh with him and not like him or disapprove of him because he is making mistakes, he can’t…
Seth… Fear of change.
Stephanie… Right, he can’t help, he would say he can’t help but worry about that?
Seth… How does worrying, remember all fear is future based.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Well, if you would listen more, if you would pay attention more, if you would do your homework properly then of course the fear is unnecessary. But when you don’t do something and you fool around or you don’t pay attention or you don’t do anything else then of course it becomes necessary and then your fear is justifiable.
Stephanie… And what are the difficulties having with listening in class that he is missing homework or he is not hearing?
Seth… Not paying attention.
Stephanie… Is that an anxiety?
Seth… Preoccupied, preoccupied.
Stephanie… He is just doing his thing as a…
Seth… He’s being a…
Stephanie… little boy?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay and he doesn’t want to take the responsibility of it when I confront him with it?
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… Okay and so the consequence would be…
Seth… He gets a bad mark.
Stephanie… And he is upset…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… or the teacher reprimands him. But it was still correct for me to discuss with the teacher his difficulties so she can not be so harsh.
Seth… Of course, but that does not mean, not being punished.
Stephanie… Right the idea that he’s still going to, you know, whatever consequence will be. He’ll still have a consequence whatever it might be.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… And then how he suffers from it though.
Seth… Well, if you are suffering because you didn’t do your homework.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Didn’t remember to write it down. Didn’t get up in the morning, didn’t set your alarm clock. Well, if you don’t set your alarm clock or if George doesn’t set his alarm clock and he is late for work three or four times in a row they’re not going to be happy with him and he will suffer the consequences.
Stephanie… Right, so the complaining, I need to teach him, what? What’s the point of complaining?
Seth… If you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing.
Stephanie… Do what you need to do, and this won’t occur.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… You won’t have to worry about it and all this fear.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, the fear is in the place of doing the right thing?
Seth… The fear is, “What will happen to me if I don’t?”
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… It’s always future base. Well, the fear is;” If I don’t do my homework, I am going to get punished. Now that I didn’t do my homework, I’m worried about getting punished.” So then if you don’t want to get punished make sure you know what you are doing.
Stephanie… Does he trust himself to be successful at remembering, at doing, at…
Seth… If he doesn’t then shouldn’t he be writing it down?
Stephanie… Right so I recently said to him, “Every single day before you leave school, you are to check your folder and see if every single thing is in it before you leave that classroom.”
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So, I guess we will see if he does that. This is how this boy needs to live…
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… clearly with a checklist. With a thing and a that, so he can prevent these worries and the fears as much as he can.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… As he gets older, he’ll become more adapted to that?
Seth… He will become more responsible. Remember he is still an eight-year-old little boy.
Stephanie… Yeah.
Seth… Is there anything else?
Let me leave you with this: life is unpredictable; to change correctly you must be ready. End what needs to be ended, and your needs will be fulfilled and your wants lessened. The responsibility for success is always yours. I bid you all a fond good evening.
All… Good evening.
(Session ended at 9:55 P.M.)
