Seth 392
The Story of the Preacher and Propping Yourself Up
Tuesday December 2, 2008
8:35 PM
Seth… Good evening and a little bit of housekeeping first and of course as always it is a pleasure to have all of you here. (The beginning portion of the session was re-created from Stephanie’s notes because part A on the tape was erased.)
There was an old preacher man who has a congregation in a farm district and has been giving Sunday sermons for the last fifty years. Every week the reviews that have been given to him are always excellent and rarely has he ever heard someone disagree or disapprove of what his lecture was. One day a young parishioner came over to him and said, “I’m amazed that even for the four years that I have been attending Sunday services each sermon is inspiring. How do you do this?” This is where the first question of the evening starts. The preacher turned to the young congregant and stated, “Many years ago, I have and still have my own barn on my property and I noticed one day that the barn was starting to tilt to one side. I immediately went out and on the side the barn was tilting towards, I propped it up with strong pine and the barn has remained true and steadfast through all of the difficult storms that have raged about it and after some time I realized that I was just like the barn. I too leaned and needed propping up and I found that there was only one true person who could prop me up and that of course was myself. So, my sermons are in effect my attempt to prop myself up which leads to the second question of the evening. It is why do each of you routinely fail to prop yourself up?
One to prop themselves up needs to change their outlook. When individuals choose love they seek it from outside sources i.e., friend, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. The view is away from themselves. When you seek love from an outside source, there are always limitations as to what you can expect from that outside source. These limitations are dependent upon the character and the nature of that particular outside source. The difficulty here is that your expectations tend to expand and as they expand you are pushed further and further away from that which you truly seek.
It should be noted here that I am not stating that these other individuals do not provide needed assistance. They cannot give you all that you need or require since they themselves have their own limitations. How often has it been said that someone cannot give anymore. If you cannot give, then what do you expect to be returned to you since in reality you are demanding a return for your investment? When one makes demands on others, the tendency is to become angry when they cannot fulfill your true desires. When one needs to change to prop themselves up, one must first look inward toward themselves. It then becomes necessary for you to take stock and evaluate your own portfolio. The first question you ask is, how are my investments doing? What do I sell? What do I hold on to? But the most important question is simple. What do I need to buy? It is the faith that one develops in themselves that gives them the greatest return for your “money.” The love that you give yourself is in reality the freedom to explore. Which course of action is best? Why am I repeating the same type of investment that I know routinely pays little? These are the types of questions that if you love yourself, one needs to ask. This type of effort allows you to expand yet you will be anchored solidly to where you need to be when something unpredictable happens and you are not prepared then, of course, one tends to be thrown as if one was riding a bucking bronco. One is tossed from side to side and eventually desperately seeks answers from others. The other here may only be a signpost. They may give you a map so you can navigate the uncharted path that lays before you. It is routine that events do not move in a predictable fashion. One should never expect the road of life to be straight. Each sharp turn, each upgrade, each slope downward provides you with an opportunity to choose love over fear. How have you propped yourself up to withstand the gale force winds of change? What measures have you taken to provide yourself a safe respite from the storm of life? Are you routinely reacting in the same fashion as always done? Do the same individuals hurt you over and over again? What have you done to ensure your own success?
As our preacher told the barn is still standing. It may lean one way, or another, yet it stands the test of time and allows you to prosper, love yourself so that change becomes easier. Enjoy the winds that push you along and set you on an ocean voyage of life that will allow you to move safely from port to port.
(A break was taken.)
Seth… Let us continue. I believe each of you must go ahead and examine yourself in detail so that you may effectively love yourself and give to yourself in a proper manner. This task is not an easy one. When one shirks from their responsibilities towards themselves the universe of course provides you with ample opportunity to test yourself in ways that you cannot imagine. For example, Jasmine, I have told you that reading a book will give you insight into yourself. When is the last time you picked up the book and studied it? I do not mean read it. I meant studied it.
Jasmine… I haven’t been able to.
Seth… I am aware. Isabella, when is the last time you have studied that book?
Isabella… Well, I have a lot going on.
Seth… I find no reason to accept that even as a poor answer. For example, do you have the time to read two pages a day to study them, to pour over them and to detail them for all of the fifteen minutes that it would take you?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And the same would be true of course with Jasmine. So, these areas that you push away make it far more difficult for you as an individual to prosper and you wonder why you still wait for a phone call. You wonder why I am not doing it. Well, the question is, you must love yourself properly before you can expect others to love you. Are there any questions?
Stephanie… Is this the same information as the session you had with packing your suitcase?
Seth… No, packing your suitcase is when you know something is going on.
Stephanie… Oh, when you know something is going on…
Seth… When you see it coming.
Stephanie… Like the Florida thing Jasmine was…
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… So then…
Seth… A great deal of this is; how do I exist for five, ten, fifteen, twenty years? Remember the original story; the pastor had been giving inspirational lectures for over fifty years. How did he do this? You can’t routinely give a story or a lecture week after week after week and have individuals state that was inspirational, that was an excellent bit of information without loving yourself enough to provide the help that you need to get through.
Stephanie… You are talking about digging deep into your pockets to constantly change with the times?
Seth… What are your investments? How are they paying off?
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you understand? Are you doing things that routinely are detrimental to your own psyche? For example, the person who over-eats, the person who bites their fingernails, the person who goes ahead okay and is constantly critical of others, the person who decides to examine everything without a purpose for the examination, the individual who gets away by saying, “Ah! I was just too tired, too busy, too lazy, to do something.” These do not prop you up; these in fact mire you down. These cause you great difficulties. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Right, so what gives the pastor the strength to a…
Seth… Because he learned to love himself. If I love me then I can withstand and I can change what I can and what I can’t, I will allow to pass through me.
Do you understand?
Stephanie… That is really the key of how the patterns repeat.
Seth… Correct.
Stephanie… By investing in the other when you can’t.
Seth… Correct. Don’t invest in someone else, don’t let another routinely distract you from your path.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… Am I allowed to ask?
Seth… Of course, did I not speak to you?
Isabella… Are you really not talking to me?
Seth… Why would there be a purpose for me to speak to you? What useful purpose would that have served you?
Isabella… Well, I am sure there are other things I could have benefited from without asking questions.
Jasmine… What last week were we talking about?
Seth… When you give your word, and your word means nothing, why should words be given to you?
Isabella… Yeah, but there were plenty of other times and other people that have not followed through and yet you don’t treat them the same way.
Seth… I treat people the way they require treatment.
Isabella… I mean, I thought not speaking to me was a little strange.
Seth… I warned you; I am a very harsh teacher; worse than you.
Isabella… Okay. Can you give me some advice and I have been doing very well in this pseudo new relationship. And now I am starting to…
Seth… Be careful of what you are asking now.
Isabella… Why?
Seth… You will understand, continue on.
Isabella… And now I am all of a sudden having difficulty. I really was doing well. I’m handling it well and now all of a sudden, I’m having difficulty with the, I’m testing and the examinations and it’s very similar to the typing I just did. But it is all of a sudden starting to repeat. And so, I am curious, and I am trying to talk to myself and do all of the strategies you gave me last time but I am still kind of bugging out a little bit about it. This idea of the phone call and you know I can talk myself down, but I am still having trouble and I’m just, I would like some insight at this point.
Seth… Well, the insight first of all, one you are not going to like. This session if you will is certainly apropos to you. Our friend Frank made a mistake of asking about last week’s session. This session, yes, how long would you like to type it for, and we are going to hold you to your word.
Isabella… I’m not answering because if I answer I am going to have to type it.
Seth… You have to type it now so you might as well get the best out of it you that can.
Isabella… Whatever I can…
Seth… Why don’t we make a simple statement since you have enough time between now and our first meeting in the New Year. I strongly recommend for some very obvious reasons that you routinely type this session as quickly as you can. For within its pages, you will find answers to your questions. That is the reason why I told you to be careful of what you asked for. Do you understand? In the strategy of what you are doing to yourself, you are not preparing yourself for that which you require. If you truly learned to love yourself, would it matter if your individual “boyfriend” was too busy too call you? Not at all but when you do not love yourself enough the change that you seek to make is a Mount Everest when in reality it is a small hill.
Do you understand? Yes, you can speak. (Isabella laughs and the rest of the group laughs as well.) Do you understand?
Isabella… I don’t really understand how I feel it is a mountain, so I don’t understand how it is a small hill.
Seth… Because what you are doing is you magnify the problem. When you are looking to another and this is in this session to solve that what you require all you are doing is expanding your expectations of that which you believe you need from loving self to fear that you are not getting it, and your anger grows. And since your anger is growing what you then do is magnify and increase the hill. So what appears to you as difficulty is simply solved because if you loved yourself enough you would say, he must be so busy or have so many problems that he can’t contact me or maybe a good idea would be for me to give of myself to lend him assistance such as I hope your day was as beautiful as I think you are. I hope your day was easy.
Isabella… I did do that.
Seth… And he does not have to answer. Did you do it at the end of the day?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… And does he have to answer you? Or is it enough for him to know that you were caring?
Isabella… It’s enough for him to… The reason why I am having difficulty is because the pattern has shifted; now the idea of the attention has shifted.
Seth… How long has this pattern been shifted?
Isabella… (Laughs.) Very briefly.
Seth… Oh! So, then it is not factual.
Isabella… But the break from the pattern is what through me off.
Seth… The unpredictability of life, that is in this session. That is why you will type this session and do not wait to type this session. For if you are not finished with this session by next week and you should a great burden might be lifted from your shoulders.
Isabella… The burden of having to type the session? (Tone is kidding.)
Seth… No, the burden of what you do to yourself.
Isabella… I’m almost getting angry.
Seth… Who are you really angry at?
Isabella… Me. I know that I am angry at me.
Seth… Then stop! That’s enough because you are not loving yourself. You are not allowing change to happen. You want it your way and only your way.
Isabella… And the rational side of my head tells me, I know he is busy. He’s opening a restaurant. I shouldn’t expect to be the center of attention.
Seth… But what do you “want” and what are you getting? The want.
Isabella… And he has given me no other reasons that he wouldn’t, you know.
Seth… It matters not, even if he said to you, you have perspiration odor, and I don’t like the way you smell. It matters not because this is a self-induced problem. So, the more you dwell on it the more angry you become, the more you sabotage what you are, the more you push him away. And this is the reason why in general friendships fail, relationships fail, marriages fail because of what you just described. So, I would suggest you take the time typing this session.
Isabella… May I ask about the vanity piece for a minute?
Seth… Certainly.
Isabella… Why am I having such a negative thing about it?
Seth… Because do you love yourself enough to get past it? It is not a his problem, this is a your problem.
Isabella… Why is this, my problem because I can’t get past the balding hair?
Seth… Correct.
Isabella… But why, how…
Seth… What is it that you are really saying? What will others think of me? Therefore, how about the fact that he makes you laugh, does that matter? It does matter?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Oh, that’s positive. How about the fact that you always have something to speak to him about? How about the fact that he shares? How about the fact that your interests are the same? How about the fact that you don’t love yourself enough and this is a major examination for you. But don’t type up the session quickly.
Isabella… I know this is a big test.
Seth… Let me ask a simple question. The man through whom I speak is obviously overweight; I am not saying anything that would hurt his feelings. Yet if we were to go around this table and ask do you truly “love this man,” how many people here would say, no they don’t? So, looks have nothing to do with it. It is the personality behind the problem. And remember if someone…
Isabella… Why am I getting so emotional?
Seth… Because I am hitting home to a very serious nature.
Isabella… But I don’t understand what I am emotional about it all of a sudden.
Seth… When you figure it out but don’t type this session. Take your time, be lackadaisical or will you have a burden lifted? Do you understand?
Isabella… You mean as to why I got emotional?
Seth… Yes, you got emotional because the truth of the matter is that are you afraid to really let yourself… (Isabella became more upset.) Well, that answered that question.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Let yourself go. Remember sabotage works effectively.
(A question was asked.) I’m not sure I even love myself, which of course the therapists here in this room and her own therapist here have sort of missed the mark.
Do you understand?
Isabella… Me?
Seth… Yes.
Isabella… Yeah. (Isabella was emotional throughout the last several exchanges.)
Seth… So, the question here arises, can you love yourself enough to do what you don’t want to do and that is to type this session quickly. Let us see if you can put it together by next Tuesday. You have till the first meeting in January. Let us see if you truly learn to love yourself.
Are there any other questions? Yes, Betty go ahead.
Betty… Can you recommend a book?
Seth… For you?
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… The Nature of Personal Reality.
Betty… Yes.
Seth… Okay?
Betty… Okay.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Stephanie… I just want to be clear the vanity that Isabella is talking about is her way of sabotaging her ability to be open?
Seth… Sabotaging from receiving love from herself. Remember if you can’t love yourself, you can’t let anybody else love you. So, if you are so worried about how they look, how other people will see them, what the nature of that is; or what Isabella has to do is to take off his hat and stop saying don’t cover it up. I love you because I can scratch the top of your head. I love you and I don’t want anyone not to know that. I don’t care what you look like. I don’t care about anything else other than the fact that I think you are a nice person and that’s how to love.
Jasmine… But she can’t do that unless she loves herself.
Seth… Correct. And that’s how you sabotage.
Jasmine… Even when she
Seth… Even anything. When you for example, do not answer someone back, when you become worried did I offend, these are the constantly repeatable mistakes you always make because you don’t learn to love yourself enough. Do you understand? I am glad that you do.
Yes?
Frank… How does one do that?
Seth… How does one do what?
Frank… You’re in the moment, you’re facing, or you are not facing the thing that you have difficulty with and now you need to gather…
Seth… How about a simple question, why did you say that? Why did you ask me that question? Could you realize that question hurt my feelings? You are always aware when somebody bothers you with something. It is not a unique emotion.
Frank… Say it again?
Seth… If somebody says something that bothers you, why don’t you just say, are you aware that that hurt me or that bothered me? Are you aware that made me uncomfortable? What gave you the right to ask me that question? Instead of sitting back, taking it and examining it. Do you understand?
Frank… It sounds like you are saying just do it.
Seth… It is not a question of just doing it. It is a question of if you are allowing someone else to bother you, hurt you, to annoy you. Then the question is, why?
Frank… Well from session it would be, for me it would be fear.
Seth… Aren’t you propping yourself up right then and there? If someone hurts you…
Frank… And you say you hurt me…
Seth… You hurt me. Why did you even think that, is that not putting pine up against a leaning wall?
Frank… Yes, but… how are you gathering up the love to be able to do that?
Seth… If you love yourself, you are not going to allow yourself to be hurt, are you?
Frank… That sounds to me like you then just do it.
Seth… No, just doing it doesn’t make any sense…
Frank… It’s like an act of faith.
Seth… It’s like somebody saying to a drug addict, just do it, stop.
Frank… Well, Nancy Regan…
Seth… I’m aware who it was but that’s just say no but that’s not the issue. Just do it has no useful purpose here.
Frank… Right, so what’s the step before?
Seth… The step before is learning to love yourself.
Jasmine… That’s the question he asked in the first place, how do you do that?
Seth… It is not a question of how you love yourself; it is a question why do you not love yourself enough. Because you are putting your faith into someone else.
Jasmine… What made me today decide to say, so Jerry is not all that excited about it, but I really want to see Tina Tuner and I am going to see it? What made me do that today?
Seth… Because you decided to love yourself. You decided to say I am worth something. You may have said unconsciously let’s test the man through whom I speak.
Jasmine… No.
Seth… These are things that you may not even be aware of.
Jasmine… I just want to say one thing. I have no interest; I really didn’t intend to do it until I heard that comment on television.
Seth… But that was a chance encounter. That was a chance encounter. (A chance encounter is when the universe sends you information through a person or event to help you along. F.N.)
Jasmine… That’s what prompted me to say, this is what I want to do. Why should I miss what this person is calling the most memorable experience of her life? That’s what made me do it.
Seth… But that is a chance encounter. It came from you. Whether you want to admit it or not it came from you.
Jasmine… Okay, I understand.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… So, when you decide to face a fear, fear is the absence of love and by facing it you are then employing the opposite (of fear) that being love.
Seth… Correct, but this you already knew.
Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: The unpredictability of the road of life gives you ample opportunity to love yourself and in learning to love yourself you will learn to love others. And from this simple statement it is obvious that your needs will be met, and your wants lessened. A hardy good evening to all.
(Session ended at 9:55 p.m.)
