Seth 399
Roads to Misery and Jealousy
Tuesday March 31, 2009
8:45 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We will do a little bit of housekeeping first. To our friend Frank, he wanted something special to be done for our 400th session. I am putting you basically in charge of this session. You will formulate under our topic of change and the ways to misery a series of at least two topics, preferably three topics for discussion. You will speak with Kaetorina and the man through whom I speak so that your plan will be formulated.
Frank… So, the idea of a camera and cake isn’t good enough! (Lots of laughs)
Seth… No, it is not.
Seth… Let us continue. Under our subject of Change, we are still dealing with the idea of pathways to misery. Tonight, we will speak about jealousy. Now we need first of all we shall go around the room and give a working definition of what your idea of jealousy is. Betty, what is your idea of jealousy?
Betty… To hold an idea or perception that another has about I guess something that you desire. I don’t know…
Seth… Okay, that’s fine. George?
George… Jealousy is (Seth instructed George to speak loudly and clearly.) wanting to be something that you are not that you perceive someone else to be.
Frank… Jealousy is envy. It is seeing what someone else has, feeling that it is difficult or impossible for you to possess that and you’re angry at the person who you see has what you want.
Seth… Jasmine?
Marilyn… I agree with everything everyone has said so far but I think another emphasis has to be placed on the self feeling inadequate. I mean that is the first part of it. Because if you felt content and complete you would not be looking at others with jealous eyes. Jealousy is a toxic and destructive emotion.
Isabella… I’m actually having a really hard time coming up with a definition for jealousy. Um, I’m viewing jealousy in two different ways after hearing what everyone was saying. One is wanting what someone else has that you don’t and the other, I don’t even really know how to put this into words, the idea of being jealous that somebody is… relationship jealousy. That maybe someone else wants or desires the person you’re with or jealous of a potential relationship that they have or will have. Am I making sense?
Stephanie… I see jealousy as reflected in the idea that the grass is greener and all the destructive emotions that go along with this premise.
Seth… One other thing I would like to call to your attention. Jealousy demands loyalty without question from another! The idea of why can’t I have it too permeates a large portion of your planet. The souls that inhabit this small corner of the universe look around and ask why can’t I have that too? Most of your wars have been fought over this concept. Hundreds of millions of lives have ended due to the foolishness of the individuals who possess this belief system. If you cannot have it but desire it, you are left with want. Your anger increases and the desire to seek revenge upon another becomes all important. A clear example of this may be seen as the hatred against the United States because they are perceived as the country that has. (Stephanie had difficulties with typing and negotiating the computer and Seth assisted her with that.) The souls who inhabit this country are perceived as the victimizers of the world at large. Many souls throughout the world desperately try to ruin the United States out of jealousy for what they do not have.
When one is jealous of anything you are not one with self. You have literally given yourself over to the desire to possess. These individuals demand unswerving loyalty from others. They become enraged at others even for the slightest miscalculations on their part.
Isabella… The unswerving loyalty is that an unrealistic expectation that they have?
Seth… Of course.
Isabella… So even spouses can have unswerving loyalty?
Seth… No one should have unswerving loyalty. You are demanding that. If you are so loyal to another that means you are not your own person. You have put your entire creativity into the hands of another. When you put yourself in a position that demands from another exceed the possibility of providing you with that type of loyalty both parties become angry and unreasonable. Why didn’t you back me up which is followed by the idea of how could you demand that of me? Each one of these individuals is frustrated by their own inability to obtain that which they desire!
Isabella… This is where jealousy is getting muffled in my head. I understand that jealousy is the desire to want something that you don’t have but in the incident that happened yesterday withTommy I was jealous but it wasn’t over something I didn’t have.
Seth… Of course you were angry by what you did not have. You did not have what you perceived was his one hundred percent loyalty to you. When these other women were “coming on” to your roommate you became angry with him because he did not tell these individuals to go away. You took this incident as “proof” of his disloyalty to you. You became envious of his actions. You did not enjoy seeing him in that light. What you set up as well as anyone else who is in that position was a competition between you and them.
Isabella… It was more their actions that were upsetting me than his actions. He wasn’t really doing anything.
Seth… You have just stated that he was not really doing anything it was them, clearly proves my point. You were bothered by their actions yet, you detested his lack of action towards these individuals and that led to anger on both parts.
Isabella… But was I overreacting?
Seth… There are many ways that one can act in these types of situations since you have great difficulty in accepting criticism your jealous nature and your desire to possess someone else causes you to become defensive and protective of that which you perceive as yours. It should be noted here that while we are using this incident as a framework for our discussion the larger sense of this clearly demonstrates aspects of jealousy that pertain to all souls.
It is impossible to obtain wisdom when you seek to possess another. Every individual must be given the freedom to express themselves as they see fit. If that expression is a desire to obtain money, so be it. If that expression is itself destructive you have the right to answer that individual in a suitable manner. When you are envious, or jealous of another for whatever the reason how effective can you be with the idea of self expression?
One of the ways to misery is to judge others by what they have or what they do. When you observe another, you instinctively make judgments about this individual. You define them in many ways. What are their clothes like? Where do they live? What is the color of their skin? How much money do they have? What is their religion? What is their nationality? These are questions that most individuals never ask in fact these questions are rarely thought of. They lie under the surface of the sea waiting to be pulled out by whatever means necessary. How many times has a Jewish person been thought of as cheap? How many times has an Irish individual been disliked by an Italian? Is it not known that most Irish people drink to excess? Isn’t it true that Scottish individuals are very frugal? One could go on and on and make a list of questions that are under the raging waters that surround every individual. When one judges others on an unseen level by words that are unspoken, by thoughts that are never proven, by sounds that are never heard how accurate can your judgments be? (This is being edited in 2016 as we are coming to the end of the Obama presidency and yet issues of race are as important as ever. The movement “Black Lives Matter” is in the news in response to the shootings of black men by white police. More subtly there are questions in the media around the lack of understanding between the races and the sexes for that matter. How we carry prejudices about others that are different from us remains a massive problem. I cannot help to wonder if using Seth’s technique of speaking out loud the problem, perhaps in private first wouldn’t help us all to understand the biases we all carry. F.N.)
You become jealous of others because they “have” something, the question is what is that something? Countries are judged by what they supposedly have and not by the deeds that they do. Individuals are judged by the deficits that others have. The question arises is it not easier to judge, condemn another than it is to work for that which you desire. Jealousy is a contagious disease that spreads outward and inflicts pain and suffering upon all who listen to its melodious voice. It is a seductress who pulls in its victims since they believe that they are worthless. One of the quickest ways to misery is to believe that you do not have enough. You make yourself empty and your glass as the expression goes is half empty. Each individual must become one with themself. If you are content with you than you will not be jealous of another’s possessions; in fact you will be grateful and happy that another has something that gives them pleasure. Each individual must make an effort to fill themselves up with the energy that the universe provides so that when you are full you will leave no room for the hunger of jealousy.
Yes, Isabella, you had a question?
Isabella… I don’t know how I could have handled the situation differently yesterday.
Seth… You very simply could have ignored it and then in a private moment stated in my opinion those women looked so foolish by acting the way they did. What did you think? You were so hungry, Isabella, that no amount of food could have filled you up.
Isabella… Sometimes I confuse my psychic intuition with what is really going on and with Jacob I had the psychic intuition that he had been cheating on me. I felt like I was feeling the same kind of feelings yesterday with this one individual girl and that was what was freaking me out. The fact that I was really convinced that there was something going on or something had gone on between the two of them and so how do I know that it didn’t? How do I know that it’s not going on?
Seth… What proof do you have that it did?
Isabella… None, absolutely none.
Seth… Then therefore until you can be certain by his actions then you are jealous of something that may not be true. You are judging your past experience not by current events. Until you have proof that nothing has gone on you are judging by current experience and not by past events. One must always come to any challenge even if it is a repetitive one without prior conditions attached to your actions. One must make believe that it is new. An example here, let us assume that you love chocolate cake and if I asked you in your mind to think about chocolate cake you can literally taste it however since you can taste it do you ever have to have another piece again? The answer is yes because I would like one. But if I asked you to state… (There was an issue with the computer and transcription.)
Isabella… I understand what you are saying but how can I ask him without him getting angry if there is something going on? I can’t.
Seth… The question that I stated before will give his answer how he perceives it.
Isabella… I know exactly how he perceives them. He thought that it was me being ridiculous.
Seth… Well, you were.
Isabella… But how do I know if I am misinterpreting the situation?
Seth… You will assume that you are misinterpreting the situation until other events prove (otherwise).
Isabella… So now I have to sit and wonder about it?
Seth… No, you do not have to sit and wonder about it. I would not be concerned with it at all. Because you are judging by what you saw.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Would you like me to judge you ever by what I see you as?
Isabella… But how do you know for sure that the person is loyal? How do you know?
Seth… A person may be loyal on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday they make a mistake. You may regret it; you may not regret it. Actions will tell you in future dates what is going on. Therefore, for you to concern yourself with what is going on is foolish.
Isabella… I know but I don’t feel any better now.
Seth… That’s your problem, would you like me to judge you?
Isabella… Sure. (Pause.) I don’t really know how to let it go. I am having a really hard time with this.
Seth… You let it go because it is not under your control. You have to become one with you. You have to be content with yourself. You have to know you are all that there is. And you are all that there is, and he does not appreciate it he loses not you.
Isabella… That’s not the plan.
Seth… I’m sorry but that is always the plan.
We shall take a break. (9:49 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions? (Isabella had to leave and Seth bade her goodbye.)
Stephanie… The spouse for example who gets angry at a wife and states you ignore me and give all your attention to our daughter and the idea that there is enough love within everyone for all this applies to these “jealous” individuals? Is this what you are speaking of in this lecture?
Seth… Yes, it is certainly part of the equation here.
Stephanie… Why do these individuals perceive that loving others in their own family is actually a threat to them?
Seth… These individuals feel this way because instinctively they believe that they are not enough.
Stephanie… So how would I help a person to allow the others to love freely?
Seth… One must allow an individual to come to the conclusion that there is enough for all. You help them by promoting the idea of self. If they are content with themselves then they will have enough within themselves so that they are not demanding of love exclusively from another. They will enjoy giving.
Stephanie… Is there a way I would approach a person who refuses therapy and also be able to teach them that they have nothing to fear by allowing the wife for example to love their daughter.
Seth… If an individual chooses not to be helped, then there is nothing you can do. If they present themselves then of course you will have the chance to promote themselves into learning that they are enough.
Stephanie… So, if this husband refuses to come in it is unlikely that he will allow the sharing?
Seth… Correct because he cannot learn. Are there any other questions?
Frank… I assume that for the person struggling with the jealousy that if they wish to help themselves that the idea from last week of asking what the problem is and talking out loud is helpful.
Seth… Yes.
Frank… Okay. Now jumping off of that. I had a dream that a singer whose songs were all about losing the girl then lost the girl and was disappointed. I interpreted this as meaning that this is what he created but it made me think that when we sing the blues it gets them out, sort of like speaking the problem out loud.
Seth… No, that is not quite correct. When you complain you bring the problem to you. In fact, you give it life and strength. An example here is simple if you complain about the fact that your drive to work every day is a nightmare you just make the nightmare worse. If you question yourself and what you can do about the traffic, then solutions are possible. I assume you understand the difference? Am I correct?
Frank… Yes. That leads to this question. I’ll use an example like with anxiety. What if you do sing it? Does that make for a different frame of reference, does that have other power, other uses?
Seth… Are you complaining?
Frank… No, I’m not complaining. Say I am singing I have a problem.
Seth… Singing or speaking is the same thing.
Seth… Let me leave you with this. The old expression that jealousy is a green-eyed monster is true in fact it is one of the most destructive forces that souls unleash on the physical plane. It increases your wants, and causes your needs to remain unfulfilled. Wars, murder, fear stem from this emotion. One must always be on guard to keep the monster locked up. A pleasant evening to all.
(Session ended at 10:17 PM)
