Seth 398
Roads to Misery and Magnifying Your Problems
Tuesday March 24, 2009
8:25 PM
Seth… A pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening, now for a small bit of housekeeping. First of all Isabella, you are slowly working towards incorporating that which you are not into yourself so that you may change. It should be noted here that the change will seem artificial at first and the pretense of that which you are attempting to become will feel false, do not let this concern you. You will eventually succeed, and your happiness will magnify. Also under housekeeping, to our friend Frank. I know that the 400th session is coming up and since I know you would like to plan something special should be around we shall see what we could do. Jasmine, I applaud your efforts at looking up that which I requested of you and certainly hope you will incorporate those ideas into your existence. George, it’s a pleasure to have you with us again, I strongly recommend that you attempt even with your busy schedule to make this a habit; you will find the information profitable.
Under our subject of Change we are dealing with our pathways to misery. One must consider the idea that you must magnify all those challenges that you face. Individuals who look at challenges in terms that cause fear such as asking proper questions have a tendency to become overwhelmed with the prospect of the challenge itself. These individuals have a great tendency not to have perspective they do not see and certainly do not listen to a great many of the ideas that they are receiving from other frameworks. How often do these individuals choose not to understand! If they gave themselves the opportunity to focus in and contemplate the challenge itself then they would be able to gain insight into that which they are creating. When one has no perspective, it becomes obvious that the difficulties that they are facing are pushed aside in favor of either avoiding the challenge itself or blaming others for their difficulties.
If you cannot see the chances are that you will blindly stumble over the challenge and not be able to understand its true meaning. These individuals would rather blame others than focus in on their own problems. It should be noted that success often eludes them, they make promises to themselves and others knowing full well that they will be unable to keep that promise. These type of individuals are the true victimizers since they are unable to pinpoint that which they desire. They shift the blame away from themselves and torture others into behaving irrationally. They then blame the other soul for not assisting, listening to their difficulties. The victimization goes even further since they are unable to complete the challenge itself, they place others in the unfortunate position of having to complete the task for them. They watch with glee as their victims struggle to find solutions to problems that were not of their making. An example here may be seen with the man who beats his wife, commonly this individual was beaten as a child, and he takes his vengeance out on others. The child who enters teenage years with an attitude that they are more important than the adults clearly demonstrates their own lack of self-worth. These children prefer to stand alone against the “world itself” for they themselves have no respect not only for themselves but for the authorities that they routinely deal with.
It is quite obvious that these individuals magnify their own guilt. They are aware that things do not go easily for them. They are often disappointed in themselves, yet they blame others. They hide their guilt since it is so monstrously large that they fear its presence. One cannot perceive guilt when it is magnified to this extent because our individual knows that they are small and inadequate. They cannot complete even the simplest of tasks without demanding assistance from others, yet when assistance is offered, they resent that assistance and denigrate the soul who offered it. How could I listen to you, you don’t know anything. You are just too stupid to understand my problems. Today we do things differently than when you were my age. You are only interested in getting your way you don’t care about me at all. These are but a few examples of how individuals who magnify themselves in terms of their own perspective see the world at large. Their guilt is so enormous that it colors their world. The fear that they have of being found out causes these individuals to become angry and withdrawn within themselves. These individuals often believe that they are superior to the world that surrounds them. Their viewpoints are narrow. Their ego is focused only on the physical plane and rarely if ever allows information from higher realms to be accessed by this individual. One must look at their life in terms of success and failure
If one asks them to define success commonly it will be in terms of getting their own way. This is the way I want it and this is the way it should be. They are unable to see that success has very little to do with themselves. Even if wealthy they know they do not have enough since in fact they know that they themselves are not enough! When your basket is always empty and no matter what you put into that basket there is never enough. The hunger for approval and success is so mountainous and the terrain so harsh that it becomes impossible for any soul to cross that wasteland. Once a soul embarks upon this road it is difficult but not impossible for that individual to feel prosperous and loved. Their pathway to misery is a sliding slope that ever takes them deeper into the heartland of despair. Most of these individuals feel empty and alone no matter how many “friends” that they have. No matter how prosperous they seem to be they are empty and the voids that they create cause these individuals to detest others who are in loving relationships.
These individuals cannot and will not focus in on the true problems at hand only when they have reached the basement of their existence can these individuals attempt to take the elevator back up. Sadness, unhappiness and despair are the trademarks of these individuals. The world is too large for them or so they think.
Stephanie… What do you mean, it’s too large for them?
Seth… When individuals see every challenge as a mountain everything is so magnified they know not what to do with themselves. They cannot see the road that will help them bypass the raging river that they must cross into the land of freedom from torment.
We shall take a break. (9:06 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. It is clear that we still have many more paths to cover on our pathways or ways to misery. One must understand that these sessions are meant to give you an understanding of your behavior as well as others. Each of you will find portions of yourself within these pages. One must remove the idea of not me when you focus in on this type of information. If you do not then of course you will be missing out on a great deal of prosperity. An example of this may be seen with individuals who sit around this table and do not do their reading assignments. In fact, how many of you routinely read these sessions at least three times before the next session is given. How many of you take notes on what you have read and come prepared to ask questions?
Are there any questions?
Isabella… I have been having a lot of out of control dreams especially within my classroom. Why am I having dreams of being so out of control?
Seth… Remember it is the theme that matters. Out of control is obviously a sign of fear. I don’t have to list here all the facets of your current existence where this comes to play. I believe you understand.
Isabella… So he (Isabella’s boyfriend Tommy) told me that he knows I’m afraid and that I have a lot of fear and that he feels I don’t trust him that he is not going to do to me what Jacob did to me.
Seth… Is there anything there you don’t understand or don’t agree with?
Isabella… But it is upsetting him.
Seth… That is not what we are talking about, we are talking about you not him.
Isabella… So, what do I do? How do you get past the past because this is the conversation that you and I had left? And he the next day called me out on the exact same thing. Thank you for putting that into his head.
Seth… I didn’t put it into his head.
Isabella… Well, somebody did.
Seth… Who did? Notice here in this lecture… (Isabella laughing.)
Isabella… I put that into his head?
Seth… Of course, your actions.
Isabella… So…
Seth… There is an expression, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Simply put unless you let yourself go you will erect a wall that will eventually surround you and you will never be able to see past it. You would be better off to cry, to scream, to yell, to feel horrible then erect that wall. I suggest you take a sledgehammer to that wall and allow yourself to trust. And if you get hurt, so be it. Without taking chances, you cannot ever succeed.
Are there any other questions.
Frank… Are there a number of ways to bring down the magnification of the challenges? I assume that there are a bunch of different ways? Like for example if something seems big you try and take it into pieces, being more realistic. But for these people how?
Seth… When one needs to succeed the perspective that you have determines what the problem truly is. Let us ask a question by a simple show of hands. Betty, you can answer, obviously. (Betty is on the phone.) How many of you, when faced with a problem state the problem out loud and not just think about it? Is there anyone here who does that? The answer is no.
Frank… Write it down. (Sometimes I did. F.N)
Seth… State it out loud. (There is byplay here with Frank and the group is laughing. Seth stated that the question saved Frank for at least this week. This referred to the fact that Seth had warned Frank that he had not been growing.) By stating the question out loud you change not only your perspective of the problem but the flavor of the challenge itself. By stating the problem in your own words, you then redefine the challenge in a way that will allow you to function in a manner that will bring you success.
Jasmine, you had a question.
Jasmine… I’m just wondering whether or not when you have a problem and mull it over in your mind….
Seth… You are magnifying the problem; you are making it larger. You are incorporating possible this, possible this, could be this, what happens here, I’m not sure and fear plays into what that has done. When you state the problem out loud you are making it concrete. When you state the problem out loud you are making it concrete. You are taking parts of the challenge; you bring fear into the equation by allowing yourself the luxury of not understanding. When you state the problem out loud you are defining in your own terms that which is bothering you!
Jasmine, you have something more?
Jasmine… What I found yesterday was I had a problem which bothered me, I thought the dishwasher was broken. I didn’t say it out loud, what am I going to so the dishwasher is broken but I thought that then actually answer out loud. I said, well call the repairman if it can’t be fixed buy a new dishwasher. And I was immediately calm.
Seth… It would have been even easier for you, and you would have less difficulty had you stated the problem out loud. As well as it went, it would have been easier.
Frank… When the problem is anxiety or panic by stating the problem that is going to help them reduce the anxiety?
Seth… It has to because you are then helping them to focus in not only on the immediate panic attack but its underlying causes.
Frank… I don’t understand the last part, how does it do that?
Seth… When you state a problem, you are then bringing to forefront that which is bothering you yet when you are worried which is an idea about a panic attack about something here commonly it’s really about something there. It’s not what you are immediately seeing or feeling.
Frank… So at least you are dealing with what is more likely the real fear?
Seth… We’re dealing with the real fear by uncovering that which is the problem. (Stephanie asked Seth to repeat.) You are dealing with the real fear by uncovering that which is the real problem.
Frank… So, if I ask a patient who has panic disorder to state out loud the problem they are going to say something like, I’m afraid I’m going to die. That at least gives them what the essence of fear is?
Seth… At that particular moment. You are then free to delve into the reason or the reasons why that specific fear has manifested itself.
(Jasmine asked a question about stating out loud the question.)
Seth… The question should be asked by in this instance the therapist. If you are alone and having a panic attack you stop, state it out loud and you ask yourself, is this real?
(The tape is unclear, but someone was asking for clarification about saying the problem out loud versus speaking to a therapist.)
Seth… But when people complain about a panic situation it is to a therapist and that was what I was addressing.
Stephanie… And the therapist would ask?
Seth… What makes you fear, in this instance we will use Frank’s words, dying?
Stephanie… Okay.
Isabella… But that is not what is really going on for them.
Seth… It never is but then you work backwards from there. Well, if you are worried about dying what made you or why do you think you are worried about dying? What do think is going on? What is leading you to be concerned with?
Isabella… So, when you are asking yourself the question, let’s just say you are…
Seth… Is it real?
Isabella… I get that but for me when I am in a panic place or when I am really anxious or whatever and I don’t know what the problem is that’s causing me to feel that way how do I say to myself what is the problem?
Seth… Is it real?
Isabella… No that’s…
Seth… No that is the answer. When you don’t know Isabella what is causing you your difficulty, but you know that you are having difficulty then the answer is simple. If you say to yourself is this real, is this the problem and your answer is no because you know it won’t be.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… Then you say then let us back up, what happened a day ago? What happened a week ago? What happened three weeks ago? Something is setting off this chain of events and so you start working backward.
Stephanie… In the case of my patient Lauren anytime death is brought up she freaks out so then what is this then related to?
Seth… Fear of death is always the fear of the unknown and since you can’t define it adequately then you panic about it.
Stephanie… So then where would I go with her with that? (Stephanie continued to say something about how frightened the patient was and how difficult it was for the patient to even speak about it.)
Seth… Someone who will not speak about something will not open themselves for any answer. The question you ask is what frightens you.
Stephanie… Okay, and she says I don’t know.
Seth… Your answer to that is simple if you don’t know then we will have to discuss it until you become desensitized to the idea of death.
Stephanie… And how would one begin this type of conversation? (There was some difficulty Stephanie had with typing with Seth kidding that he would have to transcribe the typing. The question of discussing death continued.)
Seth… There are many reasons that people fear death since they fear the loss of themselves. Let me assure you that you can never lose yourself since the human soul is immortal! And you can take it from there yourself.
Seth… Let me leave you with this. When you magnify your problems, you lose your perspective. Your guilt increased exponentially, and your wants run amuck. (There was laughter and kidding as Isabella said she loved the word “amuck.”) Your fears decrease that which you may obtain and your needs are left unfulfilled. A pleasant evening to all.
(Session ended at 9:59 PM)
