Seth 401
Roads to Misery and Being Judgmental
Tuesday April 28, 2009
9:00 PM
Seth… Good evening, pleasure to have all of you here with me this evening, Kaetorina, you have a question.
Stephanie… Yeah, how does being judgmental put you on the road to misery?
Seth… Before we go into that we shall deal with a small bit of housekeeping. First welcome to our newcomer. (Today’s visitor was my friend and a neighbor, Rick who is a writer.) Second, for our friend Frank, I hope you have started to incorporate some of my suggestions that may be found in our anniversary issue into your way of life. I hope you enjoyed your cake and ate it too.
Now from our major subject of Change we have embarked upon the road to misery. We had had a small discussion with Kaetorina and from that discussion I stated that she should ask a question on judgment. Now the simple idea of judgment may be stated as the act of deciding something. Far too many individuals judge others by their own standards. When one does not accept the values that another possesses it is obvious that you are acting in a judgmental value system that is detrimental not only to you but to others as well. An example here, religious individuals often persecute others who believe differently since there thought patterns clearly state that if “my God” is right than your God must be wrong. This simple concept of judging has destroyed more individuals, countries, marriages, friendships than anything else.
When one defines anything by their own standards one eliminates the possibility that the other has a right to their own belief system. Victimization here is obvious since the other is prevented from enjoying their own creativity. When one decides that they are correct in a positive fashion the tendency here is to promote the other in numerous ways that allows growth and prosperity for all those involved. The opposite of course is true when judgmental values are put in place that hinder another’s growth. It is simple to understand the victimization role in these events. When an individual does not allow another to express themselves in a manner of their own choosing the limitations on creative abilities clearly restrict physical plane growth as well as spiritual growth. Individuals who are restricted in their growth become embittered and lash out against others! These individuals lash out since they have no outlet for their true feelings. Examples here of murderers who for no apparent reason destroy innocent victims are too numerous to mention. These type of individuals feel restricted…
Jasmine… Who, the murderers?
Seth… No, the victims feel restricted since they have no outlet for their feelings and seek to victimize others in the same way that they themselves have been victimized. They judge others by standards that they have learned in childhood. It should be apparent that the parent who abuses the child was indeed abused and judged unfairly by their own parents.
When anger strikes individuals who are restricted, they fall prey to themselves, they withhold feelings about what is going on with others. They are silent and often do not speak to the offender or to friends about their difficulties. These individuals judge themselves as having no rights and no privileges. They suffer in silence because many are afraid to deal with their own feelings since they cannot trust anyone, including themselves, to act in a fair and just manner. These individuals are truly alone since they cannot communicate with anyone, at best their friendships are superficial and they lack confidence even to perform the simplest of tasks. These individuals constantly ask questions, often foolish ones just to hear the sound of their own voice. They do not appreciate their own intelligence in fact for many they fear being “smart”. They do this so that they do not have to excel and can sit quietly in the background being quiet and alone. These individuals are judged by your society as loners. They are often excluded from social situations since they lack the fundamental social graces. Some of these individuals take an opposite tack. They are loud, boisterous if you will, many are self centered and cannot hear even the simplest criticism without an explosion of feelings. Simply put, they are very volatile individuals.
One method to lessen the effects of being judged is to step backward from anger just as a parent will give a small child a “time out” one must learn to give themselves time to reflect upon that which troubles you. A simple question here, how effective can your thought processes be when you are truly angry? Is it not factual that you are frustrated and have difficulty in making even the simplest of decisions? One must step away and allow “time” to pass before you go ahead and judge an event. When one allows themselves to observe instead of react to a situation you give yourself freedom to think. When you judge harshly you do not allow yourself the luxury of thought, you just react. It should be noted here that you react in the same manner that you react to all similar situations. I have stated that with every challenge or opportunity that you face one must always approach that challenge as if it was the first time you had faced that challenge. Far too many individuals who have difficulty in their incarnation react first and think later. Marriages fail since each side in the marriage constantly reacts in the same way. There is a lack of communication between both sides and their true feelings are hidden under a mountain of past experiences that dirty the waters and prevent a clear and satisfying drink of enlightenment. No individual who does not step away from anger succeeds with quick judgmental values since those values themselves often lead to the victimization of self and others.
One must change the way that you relate to others. My old question remains, is there a possibility that I may be wrong? If I am incorrect, how do I go about finding a new path? If I am acting in a judgmental manner that does not benefit others where and why have I taken this path? Each of you relates to the others in your play with certain defined characteristics that enable you to function on various levels. The difficulty here is to determine what you require and balance what you require with that of the other. One does not walk a tightrope with their eyes shut and with music blaring in their ears. You do not function in life with these restrictions, yet most individuals do. They do so since they judge the other without the benefit of kindness. One cannot relate to another without first relating to themselves. The old expression is quite factual, do unto others as you would have done to you. Anger, hatred, judgmental values limit your prospects of finding true freedom. Most individuals put themselves in “jail”. They are locked into a specific set of actions that often limit their possible response to any given situation. These individuals believe that they are always correct and have little tolerance for others.
Judge not lest ye be judged comes from the idea that is presented every year in the Judeo/ Christian value set of Passover and Easter. The values here of openness, freedom must become paramount in the way in which you relate to others. You will find that if you are open and fair to yourself others will treat you in a manner that is beneficial to your prosperity.
I believe we shall take a break. (9:45)
Let us continue: Judgments themselves should be based upon keen observation of any situation. One must be careful not to indulge in wishful thinking. Never project one’s own ideas upon any situation since it is impossible to untangle the web of deceit that you yourself have created. Are there any questions?
Rick… What is meant by the deceit that apparently you are saying is feeding, projecting one’s ideas?
Seth… One must look at the idea of deceit as something that is untrue, to be hidden if you will. When the idea, the web of deceit that you create are the values that many individuals project on to others so they can justify their own actions. They conjure up imagined problems and difficulties, lies if you will that the other is “responsible for.” Do you understand?
Rick… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Frank… I have question from last week. Quoting from last session, “Each individual must learn to step aside and remove the clutter so that others may prosper.” I don’t know what that means. I’d like you to explain that further.
Seth… If you will imagine that you have a room and in that room you have some furniture and from this room you have a passage way that connects let us say the kitchen to the dining room to your den. And since the dining room is the middle room, you have some furniture in it. It is simple if there is not too much furniture to pass from kitchen through the dining room to your den. Let us now add a breakfront and the passage becomes slightly more difficult. Let us add more chairs and the passage becomes more difficult. Let us add an extra table and the passage becomes more difficult. Let us add three or four large boxes that contain dishes, and the passage becomes more difficult. Every time you add another item the path that you must travel becomes increasingly difficult. After a while you yourself cannot pass from one room to the next. It is obvious that the others in your household will have great difficulty in finding free movement. Therefore, it becomes necessary to remove the clutter to assist others. In doing so you give freedom for others to pass through on their own specific journey. Yes, Jasmine?
Jasmine… Are all these items that have been added to the passage problems and baggage one person in the family may have are things that block the other’s growth? That’s what it is? Okay.
Seth… Clearly, but it is not only blocking their growth, but blocks your own as well in fact one must come to the conclusion that it blocks your growth first and affects others in a different manner.
Frank… Particularly within because it’s your clutter, your reactions to others? I (Seth is shaking Jerry’s head no.) No? See this is where I get lost.
Seth… No, your reaction first to yourself.
Frank… No, that I understood earlier in the session. This particular passage is referring to others.
Seth… When you clutter up a passageway with what you deem as important, are you not affecting others if they must pass through that passageway?
Frank… This clutter is internal.
Seth… Whether it be internal or external clearly matters not. It matters not since it affects all the same way.
Jasmine… Well, here it says (quoting from last session,) “victimization in any form produces scars and creates a void within the self as well as the other.”
Seth… You have your answer. Now… it is obvious that my lectures cause individuals to read and reread material. It is useless for information to be so obvious that the receiver of information already understands it. If an individual finds the information so basic that it challenges them not, then the information itself is useless. One must always be challenged if growth is to occur. When one says, “I know that!” The tendency is that the individual who makes the statement stops listening. They do not create that which they require for continued growth. In other words, the material itself is not profitable. You cannot grow unless you are forced to think, unless you challenge yourself to become greater than what you were. Information that is so simple and therefore mundane does not challenge.
Jasmine… Are you saying that I am finding this simple?
Seth… Not at all.
Jasmine… I am really lost
Frank… Your concept that you would retain more information by not writing the session down…
Jasmine… Right.
Frank… is saying that you could retain the information better auditory as opposed to the information you would end up retaining after writing it down and perhaps reading it once or twice. So, your premise is faulty that listening, “If I could just listen then I would get it.” It’s not that simple to just get it from one listening.
Jasmine… Something I said just now?
Frank… That’s what you said before.
Jasmine… Yes, I said that before.
Frank… Right, this is partially addressing that. (There was more that was not quite audible but it reinforced the difficulty of the material and the fact made clearer throughout the years that writing and reading and rereading the material was necessary for us to be able to understand and retain a significant portion of it. F.N)
Frank… One more question. So, if part of my clutter is torturing myself…
Seth… Who is the largest clutterer that you know?
Frank…. Besides self?
Seth… You… you are the greatest clatterer of them all!
Frank… Yes, I understand that.
Seth… Who is responsibility for creativity?
Frank… Me. (There was a pause as Stephanie was typing and trying to get dictation correct.)
Jasmine… Aren’t we all our own greatest clutters?
Seth… Not necessarily.
Frank, looking puzzled. (Group laughter.)
Frank… So, if torturing myself is clutter it affects the other because I’m not available to them or too wrapped up in my self-torture to deal with the other?
Seth… When one prevents a fair exchange of values by limiting growth you are judging not only what you may learn but you judge what another may learn as well. You do this by limiting an exchange of information. Quite often you cause yourself to follow a technique instead of understanding how to apply the technique and use that information appropriately. You concentrate on the technique and not on the information that may be gained by using that technique. Do you understand?
Frank… Yes.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Yes.
Seth… Before I give you the microphone many of your questions are wrapped in clouds, you hide from the question itself therefore we will need a specific and clearly stated question without bias on your part.
Arthur… Can you tell me where the bias is in the cloud?
Seth… That is the bias, you are restricting that which you choose to relate.
Arthur… When the abused expresses anger that victimizes other. When the abused withholds anger that restricts self, creates a void in self and perhaps also to others.
Seth… Each way can affect. Do not define one is for the other and one is for self because in reality they are both the same.
Arthur… So even though I have experienced my withholding of anger as an attempt not to victimize the other that is not factual?
Seth… When you do that, you first victimize yourself because you are not expressing that which you require, you victimize the other because you are not allowing yourself to explain the difficulties you had with the other.
Arthur… So, what would be more profitable is to create a thirst to express yourself in a fair and just manner.
Seth… Correct. Are there any other questions
Rick… As I take all of this in, I have a very strong feelings that this information is very relevant to my life and to my wife and to struggles that we are both having. These particular observations are so acutely directed at how she directs her life with me and me to her. So, am I deflecting because it is like this endless circle because I actually do feel I am avoiding pitfalls in terms of being judgmental?
Seth… If you look at your question, highly judgmental.
Rick… That’s where the endless circle comes in because… By taking it in, observing and thinking as objectively as possible, how can you not have a judgment about what you are hearing?
Seth… If you remember earlier in this evening’s lecture I clearly stated that every challenge and opportunity must be faced and looked at as if they were new and it happens for the first time. Both you and your wife Jaime are approaching the same problems in the same way. And as you have stated clearly you are going around and around and around in a circle. The more you keep doing this the greater anger it becomes. I believe there is something I have talked about called the Triad Personality. I believe our friend Frank has the notes to give you on that and it will clearly demonstrate what you are doing. I suggest that you both learn to speak to each other and express your wants, needs and desires and have her do the same. Remember you cannot succeed unless you both compromise. I believe that is what is lacking here, the ability to compromise. Both of you need to understand what the other is saying, in fact neither of you does.
Let me leave you with this. One must prosper by learning to judge fairly. When you do, your needs will be met your wants lessened and the sunshine that is hidden behind clouds of despair will start shining through.
A pleasant evening to all.
(End of session. 10:42 P.M.)
