Seth 406
Stress and the Road to Misery
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
8:35 PM
Seth… Good evening, a pleasure to have all of you here with me again this evening. We shall do a small bit of housekeeping. Jasmine, I hope that you found your little extra session helpful and enjoyable. You must make a valiant effort to continue with your reading. (Note to readers Session 405 was a private question and answer session and is not included here. F.N.)
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… Frank, you have been somewhat neglectful in terms of the typing of what is becoming a vast reservoir of material.
Frank… I’ll get on it.
Seth… I hate to put some pressure on you, but you certainly must make an effort.
This is for Jasmine. One of the difficulties about handling a parent is the simple fact that guilt will often make you do things that are unnecessary and unwarranted. It is always more profitable for anyone to promote themselves and their actions over the idea of guilt which produces feelings of being worthless.
Now: under our subject of change we have been heading down the road to misery. We are going to embark on another area and so we will require a working definition of stress. Therefore, that being stated, Betty, please give me a definition of stress.
Betty… Any event or situation that would cause me imbalance or dis-ease.
Seth… Rick? You may take the microphone.
Rick… A reaction of one’s body or mind to a difficult situation making normal functioning a problem.
Arthur… Requirements for responses which feel pressuring.
Frank… A reaction to external and possibly internal events or stimulus that may be repeated that makes you feel anxious, overwhelmed or bothered.
Jasmine… This is a definition of stress? (Jasmine had been in the kitchen dealing with a phone call.)
Seth… Working definitions of stress other than the word “Mother”.
Jasmine… I would say the result of certain emotions evoked by difficult situations, relationships and even self-ruminations can produce stress.
Stephanie… In my view I feel that stress is literally ones own manifestations of their experiences on the physical plane. It’s what you are doing with the events that emerge that one then may experience as stress.
Seth… It is interesting to note that every definition that was given had the unfortunate idea that stress itself is a negative! This is far from the truth. When you, as an individual, feel stress one must take notice of the fact that you are preparing to change directions in terms of the path that you are on. Quite commonly the lassie-fare attitude that most people exhibit is detrimental to their growth in terms of experience on the physical plane. There are numerous examples where stress itself should be profitable and helpful in this regard. The example that Jasmine’s mother provided is a clear indication of how most individuals handle difficult situations. Jasmine herself became upset and bothered. An opportunity was missed for her to change direction in terms of how to deal with her mother. Frances thrives upon the idea of guilt. In doing so she promotes the idea that Jasmine is inferior because of her actions. Without getting into a major disagreement with Frances, Jasmine should have stated her position in no uncertain terms thereby eliminating the idea of guilt and the feelings of inferiority that are always promoted by her mother.
Another example here may be seen with Kaetorina’s dealings with her son Peter’s bathroom accidents. Her first response is to become angry due to the stressful situation that was presented. The question arises by Kaetorina’s anger what lesson is Peter learning and what lesson has Kaetorina learned as well? These questions apply to all individuals when faced with events that are disagreeable to them. The handling of these events, meaning what path you choose to embark upon, is a clear indication of how you will change that situation. Anger itself, while useful, still has its place but not in these situations. The individual who screams and yells or makes obscene gestures only delays a profitable solution to whatever problem she is facing. One must realize that it is difficult for you to become objective and not run down the road toward misery if you cannot think clearly! It is the lack of thinking that causes stress to become abhorrent to most individuals.
Your physicians are constantly finding new diseases where stress has played an important role in the disease development. Individuals who refuse to look at the difficulties that they are having in terms of a profitable solution will find themselves suffering from any number of diseases that cause them to become more miserable than they previously were. The person who has difficulties with their boss will find that their stomach will be bothering them. They will develop headaches and become uncomfortable even at the thought of going to the office. These symptoms are a manifestation of choosing the wrong path and not allowing yourself to handle whatever problems you have in a manner that will allow you to succeed in whatever endeavor you have chosen.
When an individual feels stressed it is common that they have piled their plate so high that they cannot function adequately. Most individuals are capable of dealing with one or even two, possibly three difficult situations at any one point of reference. The difficulty arises when our hypothetical individual attempts to problem solve all his difficulties at one time. He literally divides himself into three selves. None of these selves have the ability to function independently due to the fact that the physical plane mind has become so limited in its view that our individual cannot process information from higher realms. These difficulties are compounded by the day-to-day events that each person moves through on the physical plane.
There are individuals who look for stress. They are not satisfied unless they can find something that they may worry over. They are in reality hypochondriacs and derive pleasure from feeling ill at ease. These individuals are never satisfied, they will always have their own agenda regardless of the fact that their agenda may have nothing to do with the problems at hand. They use discomfort to further their own feelings of inadequacy. This translates for these individuals into the idea that they themselves are trying to promote their own feelings of supremacy over the others that they are dealing with. An example here is the individual who is never satisfied with what they have. These individuals believe that not having is a fact that they must overcome and if they will attempt through their own agenda to provide themselves with anything that they believe is important to them. One of the difficulties that these people have is the fact that they can’t make a logical decision easily. They guess and second guess everything around them even when the decision involves something pleasurable. They are not quite sure that they have the right to be satisfied. They look for the most microscopic idea or event to cause themselves to become unhappy.
They themselves feel that they are alone and yet what do they do? They immediately rush out in a vain attempt to elicit others to help them fill the voids that they have created. Change and stress here are marked by the feelings of emptiness that these people have. They commonly define themselves in relationship issues by others. They might say I only have wealthy friends. I only enjoy being with intellectual and stimulating individuals. These type of statements cause individuals no matter how many friends that they have to become lonely and at times desperate for some compassionate relationship.
The answer here is simple; one must use the idea of stress to change how you perceive yourself. If you are unhappy, or unsatisfied with the way you look there are many things you can do to alter your physical plane appearance. Until one finds themselves you will be unable to find happiness with anything that you choose on any path that you take since you will always uncover some disaster that will cause you to flounder in the murky waters of stress. Individuals who are alone routinely blame others for their lack of self-satisfaction. My wife or husband does nothing for me. My coworkers are incompetent. My boss wants everything without giving anything in return. These type of statements isolate our individual from success. You cannot succeed on the physical plane if you are alone.
When an individual feels stress the most common reaction is to sit down and detest the idea that there is something going on that you do not like. The same may be said for individuals who have difficulty with any set of emotions. It is the idea again that one isolates themselves with their feelings that leads you into a nonproductive course of action. When one sits down and hides from that which you are feeling you truly cannot prosper due to the fact that no assistance may be given because you do not have the wherewithal to even ask for help.
I believe at this point we shall take a break. (9:19 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. The topic this evening should have provided all of you with numerous questions. Therefore, let us start with that. Are there any questions?
Frank… The idea of this heaping of things on the plate and multitasking. This multitasking is pretty much a bad idea, correct?
Seth… No.
Frank… Why not?
Seth… The concept of multitasking is appropriate when the individual is capable of dividing the work into logical compartments. Our individual here must be able to divide his workload fairly so that each task itself must be appropriate for the time allotted to that task. When you have as in our lecture example three things you would choose to do, and each item is causing you stress and you are unable to provide sufficient time for that task then of course you are unable to change and your workload increases and your prosperity decreases. Go ahead Frank
Frank… I understand that, I have a different question. I understand the idea of recognizing the stress and the idea of then trying to catch the same event the next time around but how does one develop the ability to shift in midstream to then make that change?
Seth… The simplest of all answers and of course the most obvious is by doing so. While that seems like an answer fit for a child in actuality it is a difficult process to achieve. Your statement implies that you have not approached the same problem in a different way. In other lectures I have clearly stated that for change to occur one must approach an event as if it was happening for the first time. When you do not do this, you fall back upon the idea that has already failed you. It has failed you because your learning experience was incomplete. If you do the same thing routinely without giving yourself any opportunity to attempt or to seek a new direction, then of course your stress levels will increase and change becomes impossible.
Frank… That’s what I meant because if you were approaching it anew it wouldn’t really be that stressful like the person within the lecture who are really stressed. Is there any pulling out of that or do you have to wait for the next time?
Seth… The question itself without my being harsh is foolish due to the following. If you are in heavy traffic and there is an exit coming up and the service road is empty, do you stay in heavy traffic or do you “pull out of it” and proceed in a new direction? In both instances you will get to the same destination. With one your stress levels and difficulties will be great with the other they will be far simpler. I suggest you think about that.
Betty… I understand you need to look at something in a new way or try something. But now I’m dealing with a current and recurrent stressor of going back to court again with Sam. How can I do anything different here? I have a new lawyer, that’s different.
Seth… So, you have already made a change. Have you not?
Betty… I have but it still remains…
Seth… Remember the problem itself is still the problem. (Betty talking simultaneously.)
Betty… Yeah.
Seth… You are looking for a result that will ease your burden.
Betty… Correct.
Seth… By changing your lawyer, you are approaching your problem differently.
Betty… It is that simple?
Seth… Yes, it is by doing it. What you are fretting about…
Betty… Is getting the same result.
Seth… Is getting the same result which you have no idea about what will occur. Frank, do you have anything else on this question?
Frank… I understand minimizing the damage by getting off the exit but you don’t have a satisfactory result until you make a change before you lose it, so you have to wait for it to come around again. You maybe learned a partial lesson.
Seth… I suggest you think about this because your previous statement is not correct. Are there any other questions?
Arthur… In terms of changes about self-esteem. In the specific example of Susan my patient, can you give me an idea of how to change the course that she is on?
Seth… Have you had your patient make a list of the things that she likes about herself? What someone enjoys about themselves should be promoted. Change in this sense moves an individual to prosperity since what they enjoy about themselves will automatically be promoted. When they find things, they do not like about themselves they will tend to discard those issues because they do not benefit them.
Arthur… That seems like a potentially profitable way to go….
Seth… My question to you is simple. Far too many therapists work with the negative instead of promoting that which is beneficial to the individual. While it is true that many individuals have difficulty, and these difficulties should be explored. Far too many points of reference are used in trying to find the elusive answer. If that which you enjoy is left alone it will wither and die and then you will have a whole new set of difficulties to handle. I believe that should give you a sense of direction or a whole new set of possibilities.
Arthur… Thank you.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: Stress itself is neither positive nor negative. It is the first indication that an individual has toward the necessity of change. When used properly your needs will be met and your wants lessened. A profitable good evening to all.
(Session ended at 9:58 PM)
