Seth 352
Want Verses Need and Forced Change Versus Effective Change
Tuesday November 6, 2007
8:13 p.m.
Seth… Good evening.
Group… Good evening.
Seth… A pleasure to have you all here. Welcome to our newcomer. (This newcomer’s name was Matthew.) A little bit of housekeeping that we shall delve into. First of all, in terms of the person who is taking a different seat this evening. I caution both you and certainly Isabella, keep your looks, keep your talking, keep your chatter to a zero point otherwise I will have to ask for a rearrangement of seats. (Group laughter.) This is certainly not an ideal situation for either one of you. Do either one of you have a problem with that? Good I’m glad you didn’t.
That being said there. Arthur, how are you doing?
Arthur… Hanging in there.
Seth… I know by you will excuse the expression, by a hair, why?
Arthur… I go in and out of it.
Seth… In and out of what?
Arthur… Trying to deal with my responses to my sister’s situation.
Seth… Let us ask the most simple question we can. What can you do?
Arthur… Could have a whole bunch of things that I can do…
Seth… No.
Arthur… that would be of help.
Seth… It is not the question of what… Obviously, what can you do for help, assistance or anything that would be in the long term useful?
Arthur… Um, confront her with what I think is going on.
Seth… Possibly. Do you really believe she’s going to be able to listen?
Arthur… No.
Seth… So, then your answer is not effective, is it? (Arthur shook his head no.) So, what else can you do?
Arthur… Take care of me.
Seth… Take care of yourself, obviously. So, your answer is you can do nothing.
Arthur… This is what I have done most recently.
Seth… What have you done most recently?
Arthur… Sent her a coupon in kind without any possibility to use cash and bought her a two-month subscription to the YMCA so she can have a place to shower.
Seth… Again, until she will choose to help herself, how long do you choose to allow this situation to drain you? That is not said in an antagonistic manner…
Arthur… No.
Seth… You understand this?
Arthur… It’s just that I find it hard not to react simply by knowing that.
Seth… But whose situation, is it?
Arthur… Hers.
Seth… And therefore, let us assume for the sake of argument that you’re a poor therapist, what would you tell a patient?
Arthur… As a poor therapist?
Seth… As a poor therapist, ineffective.
Arthur… Get your act together.
Seth… Right and that’s the simplest thing you can say because you can do nothing. And the more, you will excuse this expression, assistance that you provide the more dependent someone becomes on you. And the more dependent someone becomes on you why do they have to do something for themselves? Let me give you a simple example here, one of the great difficulties that individuals have is the simple idea of welfare and if you look at the history of welfare throughout much of the world today, people remain on welfare for generation after generation after generation due to the fact that there is no incentive to change.
Arthur… Is there not enough incentive in the desperateness of the situation…
Seth… The desperateness of the situation…
Arthur… because of the job that I’m doing.
Seth… The desperateness in the situation is to force others to come to their aid. But the more aid that is given without your sister embarking upon a proper intervention by herself, going for help, putting herself into psychiatric care, having someone else balance her likes and dislikes out then of course all she is doing, you will excuse the expression, is feeding off others which you already know. This is not new to you and therefore the more “aid” you give what incentive is there for her to make a positive step for herself? While it is very unpleasant, hard, difficult, it brings you nothing but grief and upsettedness into your life. What does this have to do with her? The answer is nothing. You do understand? And I will cover some of this, this evening in terms of wanting and you will understand that principle when I get to it later on this evening and I believe that was where we are going. That is the end of our housekeeping session.
Jasmine… I have a question.
Seth… Yes, Isabella, excuse me, Jasmine.
Jasmine… Can you speak to us about the meaning of the term “forced change”?
Seth… Under our general topic of Change I’ve presented a question to Jasmine and to Kaetorina that the idea of forced change and I asked what does that mean to you. Now, Jasmine gave the answer about someone being mandated to change, having to be pushed into change and I accepted that. And I would like to go around the table this evening and see if you can use or define the term forced change. Betty, whenever you are ready to speak you can just chirp in at any time. (Betty is on the phone.)
Betty… Okay.
Shanna… Okay I don’t know if I believe in the idea of forced change.
Seth… I didn’t ask you whether you believe in it, I asked you what it means to you.
Shanna… Um, I don’t know. I don’t think that it exists really.
Seth… Well, if I put a gun to your head…
Shanna… Uh huh.
Seth… and I say to you, you are going to do this, or I will pull the trigger, will you do it?
Shanna… I still have the choice though.
Seth… Yes, you have a choice, but chances are you will hand over your pocketbook.
Shanna… Right.
Seth… Would you normally hand over your pocketbook with all your money and cards to a stranger? (Shanna laughs.)
Shanna… No!
Seth… So therefore, you do believe in the idea of forced change. (Laughter, particularly Isabella.) Next.
Isabella… I think forced change is when an event happens that… (Laughs.) forces you to change.
Seth… You see that is the problem with the definition.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… You do not want to use the word “change” in the words “forced change”.
Isabella… I know, I teach that to my students all the time. Um…
Seth… I see it works well for you. (Group laughter.)
Isabella… The idea of force I think is when something happens in your life that… that leads you to have to change; that an event that you didn’t have control over which makes you have to change your perspective or your whole being, really.
Arthur… I guess it is when conditions make all previous responses or responses ineffective or not useful and a person has to find something different.
Betty… I would say it’s either doing something or asking another to do something when the person doesn’t want to or is not ready to do it.
Seth… Thank you.
Frank… Um, I was thinking more in terms of like the situation that Christopher Reeves had to deal with because of his accident he was quote, unquote forced to change. So, the bottom line is that there really isn’t much of a way of choice.
Jasmine… Do you want me to go again?
Seth… No, you may hand it to Matthew.
Matthew… The only thing I can come up with for forced change is really um… The only thing I really am thinking about is 9/11 when you know my stepfather was killed. That was you know pretty much change. From then forward everything changed, that was it. That was you know, that’s all I can come up with.
Stephanie… Um, partly I think about the idea when one has to look at themselves in a different way which would of course be the impetus. And also, when there is no other place to go comes to mind.
Seth… Let us try to be fair if you will, with ourselves. The concept of forced change in and of itself is misleading. I used the idea or hypothetical if you will with Shanna because that is certainly your life is the greatest precious gift that each of you has. So, the next question that I would ask her is that since she agrees that forced changed at times happens due to the idea that a gun was placed to her head, so she had to give up her pocketbook. But let us assume a month later or a week later she is walking along the street, and someone says to her in a nonthreatening manner would you please be kind enough to give me your pocketbook with all its valuables inside? What would you normally say then?
Shanna… No.
Seth… So, the idea of forced change here, one way is being compelled and the other way is being refused. In a larger sense, change is only effective when force is eliminated from the equation. Let us use a hypothetical or two to demonstrate the point. A man or a woman who was morbidly obese is told by their physician that they are going to develop serious health issues if they do not choose to change their eating habits and ways. Over ninety percent of individuals in this category do not change. I believe most individuals are aware of the health risks due to smoking. There is a large percentage of the American population that still smokes. The tobacco industry has record sales. Even knowing that you will probably develop a serious disease does not stop individuals from smoking. A man or a woman who has had a heart attack and their life hanging in the balance usually prays to, put quotes here around the idea of “G-d” which ever one they choose to pray to and they promise G-d that they will lose weight and stop smoking if they are saved. They will go to the gymnasium. They will eat better, and their convictions are real since they have been forced to make this change. Death is a harsh penalty for not listening. However, only twelve percent of individuals spontaneously make this forced change. Most relapse into their old ways unless outside force is used.
It is interesting to note that mass consciousness effects are also influenced by forced change. Examples of this may be seen in Eastern Europe. When the Soviet Block was in existence there was no tolerance for local hatred. When communism fell apart Serbians quickly reverted to their ways that were clearly seen as the start of World War I. I hope with these examples you can understand that when you are trying to effectively make a change in someone else you must not and cannot use “force” to achieve your desired results. Then the question arises: How does one coerce another into making effective changes in their viewpoints. The answer is simple one must seek out the idea that what is the motivation behind the other’s resistance? If you change the other’s understanding by clearly demonstrating that which to you is either incorrect or hurtful then of course an effective change may be possible.
Isabella… I have another question. Can effective change occur even if you were forced into it?
Seth… It rarely works. It rarely works due to the fact that the motivation behind the change is not coming from within, it is coming from without.
Isabella… But I disagree with that.
Seth… Show me.
Isabella… Because in my situation with my ex-husband when I was forced into changing after that event.
Seth… Certainly were not.
Isabella… What do you mean? I absolutely was, I had to change.
Seth… Why did you have to change?
Isabella… Because… my whole world changed.
Seth… No what changed was a position. The fact that your husband decided to leave you…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… the fact that you were then forced back on your own did not mean that you were going to change anything about your personality. You did not like what you saw, you did not like the difficulties that you had so you examined self, did you not?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Where did the change then come from within or with out?
Isabella… Within but had Jacob and I not had difficulty.
Seth… Were you having difficulties already?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Then your answer cannot stand.
Isabella… Hmm, alright.
Seth… Your answer, that the idea is that forced change in your instance, was not true. There was nothing forced. You are making changes. You are making changes not to become dependent upon anyone again, correct?
Isabella… Em.
Seth… You are making changes not to let anyone become dependent on you, correct?
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Are those changes from within or without?
Isabella… There from within, however, however, had this event not occurred…
Seth… The causative effect is not the change, it is only an incident.
Isabella… Huh?
Seth… For example, if you see a car accident that occurs because of a drunken driver, and you understand that drinking and driving are dangerous and therefore you give up drinking when you know you must drive where does the change come from…
Isabella… So.
Seth… within or without?
Isabella… I hear what you are saying so the cause…
Seth… Within or without?
Isabella… With…
Frank… Where did the change occur?
Isabella… in, right.
Seth… It always must come from within.
Isabella… So now the causative event is not the change?
Seth… It never is.
Isabella… Uh huh.
Shanna… So, then your divorce is the specific incident.
Isabella… Right. (Whispered,) Gottcha.
Seth… Go ahead. (To Stephanie who giggled.) Be careful.
Stephanie… Yeah, but I have a good question.
Seth… I’m sure you do.
Stephanie… Okay so once you clearly demonstrate that which is hurtful to this other person…
Seth… Such as William, go ahead.
Stephanie… Okay, fine. (Isabella giggling.) What if he would then since you are using him.
Seth… I’m not using him, you are. Go ahead.
Stephanie… (Giggling.) What if he would interpret the demonstration as him then having to look at and being quote, “forced” to look at self? So there…
Seth… Does he have to look at himself?
Stephanie… No, but if I am going to clearly demonstrate…
Seth… If you demonstrate…
Stephanie… this is how you hurt me.
Seth… If you demonstrate to someone, this is what is hurting me.
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… Does that individual have a choice of whether to look at it or not?
Stephanie… Of course.
Seth… And if they choose to look at it, are you forcing them to or are they doing it on their own?
Stephanie… Um, they will do it on their own, but it doesn’t mean that they are going to like it and they can experience it as feeling forced to look at themselves.
Seth… They may certainly think that they have been forced to look at themselves and if they do the effective change will not hold.
Stephanie… Okay but that’s my point, how then can you use this…
Seth… By repeating the same thing again and again and again. Do you think students learn just because you explain long division the first time? Or does it have to be reviewed.
Stephanie… No, it needs to be reviewed.
Seth… So, if things need to be reviewed, is there a set time limit where review is no longer effective?
Stephanie… No, but it doesn’t take ten years to learn long division.
Seth… No, it doesn’t but it takes lifetimes at times to learn trust.
Stephanie… Apparently. (Frank is chuckling and Isabella, says “Oooh”. Stephanie gives a laugh.)
Seth… Are we finished?
Stephanie… No.
Seth… Keep going, Seth one, Kaetorina nothing.
Stephanie… So, what if the person rails against when you are attempting again to confront the person and doesn’t want to look so that they take you all over the moon with it?
Seth… Who’s going? Who’s allowing them to go there?
Stephanie… Alright, so then what do you do? You then refocus and say this is what I am saying?
Seth… Yes.
Stephanie… And…
Seth… If you had a patient who was complaining about the fact that her husband does not love her…
Stephanie… Right.
Seth… and you then say, well show me how you demonstrate your love to your husband? Well, I really don’t. I am having an affair. I don’t like him. I don’t want to go out with him. And the question is: but he is not demonstrating love to me? I want him to love me. What would you say to that person?
Stephanie… Well, you have to look at your own actions.
Seth… Ah! So, is it not necessary here for the confrontation to force someone else to look at themselves in an effective manner? This is not about this, your choices here, support me or don’t.
Stephanie… Right, so what if you then go to that place and you are obviously stating you need to look at yourself in terms of what’s going on here, isn’t that then perceived as a forcing?
Seth… And if they perceive it as a forcing, what did I say?
Stephanie… Then I have to return back to the original…
Seth… You have to go back to the original idea and clearly state, I am not forcing you to do anything, I am presenting what has happened to me and my understanding and feelings about what went on. I am not asking you to understand it. I am not asking you to agree with it. I am not asking you to appreciate it. I am asking you to allow me to be myself and to promote myself in a way that I believe benefits me. You may disagree with me, that’s perfectly legitimate.
Stephanie… Em hmm. So, what if his perception is that he did do the things that I was asking for but in actuality he did not.
Seth… You did not do these things for the following reasons. I understand what you are saying that you think you did but let me show you from my perspective how I saw them. There is a communication and dialog that must go back and forth. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Em hmm. Okay so in terms of what happened with my discussion with William, he uses certain tactics to confuse the issue or sidetrack and I then get on that train, and I have to deal with that and it is all like a covering up of what…
Seth… Instead of…
Stephanie… he doesn’t want to look at.
Seth… Instead of you very, very carefully and gently saying I’d like you to listen to what I am saying. I’m not talking about that; I am speaking about this. This is my belief. This is what happened to me.
Stephanie… Okay.
Seth… And you refocus. It is called dissuasion in your business.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… And you fell for it.
Stephanie… Right, but I was just going to say, he was providing all the dissuasion and I feel like I’m completely spinning my wheels.
Seth… And who fell for it?
Stephanie… Oh, I did.
Seth… Now, which leads us into another idea that I’d like to present this evening, of course is called “effective change” that we are dealing with here. It is clear from my discussion with Kaetorina that she wanted something. And there is no individual who does not want. I have asked each of you at times to understand the difference between need and want. (Seth has spoken to us many times about “Want verses Need”. This is a “Power of Attraction” concept, but it is also a call to action. Seth uses “Want” differently here than other writers or teachers. When people want and do nothing about that want, they create a lack and the universe through the law of attraction provides more lack or want and leaves the person “wanting”. When you need something like, for example a glass of water you tend to do something to alleviate your thirst. Better to change your wants into needs to create effective change. F.N.) When you want something, the universe will provide you with more wanting because that’s all you have legitimately asked for. Does anybody have difficulty with that? But the piece that most commonly individuals miss is that in the wanting you end up with less than you have previously had. You are spending energy on the wanting.
Jasmine… So, then you end up with less than you thought.
Seth… Correct. You are spending energy in the wanting. When you spend energy ineffectively change is not possible. Therefore, since you are spending energy unnecessarily if you will, that which you have is lessened and your needs increase. It is the idea that to spend without profit effectively causes you to lose. Arthur, do you understand a little bit better now this evening when I apply that statement to your sister. You are spending energy in wanting something and so you are ending up with less. Do you understand? (To Isabella.) Why no?
Isabella… Well, is it because all you ending up with is wanting? So, you are not getting what you want?
Seth… It’s not only not getting what you want. Let us assume that you desired someone to take care of you instead of fostering your own abilities. So, you want someone to constantly take care of you. So, when they take care of you with one little matter what do you do? You give them something else to take care of you about.
Isabella… Right. Okay.
Seth… And when they take care of two things what do you want them to do?
Isabella… A third.
Seth… Take care of a third and a fourth and a fifth. So, all of the things you were capable of you have now given away and the more you give away the less what?
Isabella… The less I have.
Seth… The less you have. And the less you have the more you really require so your needs increase by giving everything to wanting. Do you follow this?
Isabella… No.
Seth… What do you not understand?
Isabella… I understand it in that, in that respect of the needing to be taken care of by people but what if you want something else? I’m not talking about like you know; I’m not talking about a material thing but like what if want a great relationship?
Seth… If you want a great relationship with anyone, then the question one must ask is how do you define a great relationship?
Isabella… Okay and what if you have your definition?
Seth… Which is? An equal balance between two sharing partners…
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… where one is capable of complementing the other. Is that a fair answer?
Isabella… Yes.
Seth… Well, the more you desperately search for that the more wanting you have and therefore when you look at others who will pick apart those deficiencies in that person.
Isabella… Yeah.
Seth… Because they are real.
Isabella… Right.
Seth… So, the more you desperately try to make something perfect the more needy you become in finding that desire.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… Seth two, (Group laughter.) Isabella zero.
Isabella… But I was not… (Isabella grappling for words.)
Seth… I used the Seth two in terms of the idea of a level of understanding that you did not previously find.
Isabella… No, I get that in the respect of I’m going to use George as an example because I’m constantly nit picking all the things about him because obviously through the divorce, I am very scared about relationships. Is it because I’m nit picking that I’m finding things?
Seth… Nit picking depends upon what you want to define as doing that but if you are legitimately finding difficulties with him…
Isabella… Uh huh.
Seth… then you are not nitpicking. Then you are appreciating that which he is.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Only you can make a determination of where any relationship could go or should go.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… Do you stay with a relationship, or do you end it? That question only you can answer.
Isabella… Emm.
Seth… Camouflage and delusions are rampant within the human species on this issue. Is there anything else?
I believe at this point we shall take a break.
(The time was 8:57 P.M.)
Seth… Let us continue: It is important for each of you to use the concepts placed before you this evening in terms of change and wanting. The desire to make a difference that affects each of you in any line of study is what propels you forward. Do not expect change to make itself obvious on the first attempt or even the hundredth attempt; change that is effective is slow. It is like an ember in the morning fire pit that needs stirring. It needs fuel so that the heat and warmth of the fire of life may blaze brightly within each of you. Change itself commonly occurs over lifetimes. Each of you has your own task; some of you will finish it within this incarnation, others will take many more. The question arises, does it matter? The answer is of course not, for in reality you cannot fail. And that my dear students must give each of you hope and faith that the changes that are necessary will eventually be made and that the fruits of your labors will be tasty and sweet. Fear not. Do not look backwards for your point of power is always now. And you exist within the ever expanding now.
Are there any questions?
Stephanie… What do you do while you’re waiting? (Frank laughs heartily.)
Seth… I’ve been waiting a lot longer than you. (Frank is still laughing as Stephanie giggles.)
Stephanie… So, what are you doing?
Seth… I believe that teaching is an effective way of waiting.
Stephanie… Em hmm.
Seth… Seth three, Kaetorina zero.
Are there any other questions?
Shanna… Before you said about seeking out the idea of what is the motivation behind the other’s resistance?
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… Um, so how do you, how do you figure that out?
Seth… Ask questions.
Shanna… Like?
Seth… The more questions one asks another the least able they are to hide behind their camouflage and delusions.
Shanna… Like why don’t you want to do this?
Seth… Why don’t you want to do this is not a proper question because the answer is because I don’t.
Shanna… That’s like what kind of effective questions can you…
Seth… Depending upon the circumstances, what is preventing you from? How come you look at it this way when most everybody would choose to do this? What prevents you from looking at it from a different perspective? Do you believe that you are hurting yourself by your actions? Do you believe that you are hurting me by your actions? Do you not care about the “future” (Put that in quotes.) of whatever it is? Does that give you a helping hand?
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… Now write it down.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… Because you will forget.
Shanna… But I have other questions.
Seth… Go ahead.
Shanna… The other thing I didn’t understand was, you said if you change the other’s understanding by clearly demonstrating that which to you is either incorrect or hurtful then of course this type of change may be possible?
Seth… An effective change… they must understand why and how they’re hurting you.
Shanna… Okay in order for there to be an effective change.
Seth… Correct.
Shanna… Okay and then the other thing…
Seth… If you had been here last week, you would have understood this.
Shanna… I was waiting for that. Okay so the other thing is…
Seth… That was from the man through whom I speak, not from me.
Shanna… I’m sure. Thanks, Jerry. Okay.
Isabella… Jerry one, (Laughter.) Shanna zero.
Shanna… So, the whole thing about what the more you want you end up with less that I understand. But like what about with like a material thing? How does it work in an instance like that? So, let’s say you know, like Philip and I want a new apartment possibly. So, if we put…
Seth… It is not a question of wanting. If you were to write a list…
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… of the effective means of you either getting or buying or owning or renting a different apartment.
Shanna… Em hmm.
Seth… That will give you a course of action that is profitable for both of you.
Shanna… Writing down what?
Seth… That which you, the reasons you need…
Shanna… Or why?
Seth… of the why you would like a new apartment, a bigger apartment, a better apartment, ownership as opposed to rental, rental as opposed to ownership.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… One of the things you should be doing is have you read the book “The Secret”?
Shanna… Yes.
Seth… Have you taken notes on it?
Shanna… No.
Seth… Why not?
Shanna… Um…
Seth… Therefore, you should read it again and take notes.
Shanna… Okay. Okay but I guess I am saying in a situation like that how do you end up with less?
Jasmine… Not creating more wanting.
Seth… You’re not creating less by stating, this is a plan of action. These are the things that I require “need” to accomplish my goal. Whatever your goal is on any subject and it matters not whether it’s an apartment, whether it is a better job, whether anything. So, what do I require and you state your list of goals and if you work towards those goals, you are not wanting, you are fulfilling your needs.
Shanna… Right so if I am just saying like I want this, I want a new apartment, I want one that has this and I…
Seth… You’re getting less.
Shanna… But how am I getting less because…?
Seth… Because one, you are spending your energy in wanting. You’re not doing anything.
Shanna… Okay.
Seth… I want, I want, I want and what have you gotten so far? Wanting.
Shanna… Right.
Isabella… I have a question actually on the same topic. Um, George the Vet is…
Seth… Should we call him by that from now on, George the Vet?
Isabella… No, because he gets angry. But (Whispers kidding.) because I don’t know how to call him by name. He is trying to get a residency, a surgical residency obviously in Veterinarian Medicine and he’s been trying for the last few years to get accepted into a residency program and it has been difficult for him. He is going through this kind of like crisis almost because he is not getting the residency that he wants and he’s very, I’m using the word want, and he is very concerned that yet again he’s not going to get it and then what is he going to do with his career if he doesn’t get the residency that he wants.
Seth… Would it not be appropriate to establish a list of goals?
Isabella… Well, that’s what I am asking because it says what would I require to accomplish my goals but for him, he is doing what he needs to do.
Seth… Let us assume…
Isabella… He is doing the application. He is writing the papers to get published. He is doing all those things.
Seth… Let us assume that he truly wants something whatever that something is and therefore he could for example take a subordinate role in terms of surgery. He may look at surgery and put off to the side for awhile, go into some other specialty and transfer over. There are many ways to accomplish something by being indirect instead of direct.
Isabella… So, being indirect? I don’t really understand.
Seth… For example, let’s assume, give us a moment, let us assume he decided to do something in neurology.
Isabella… Em hmm.
Seth… And he became a Veterinarian Neurologist. Well once he did that, he may find it may be much easier to move into a surgical area because he already has one specialty and move to another.
Isabella… See, his big thing is the time factor. He is very concerned that he has been wasting time and that he’s twenty, almost twenty-nine years old and he should almost be done with his you know…
Seth… A Cardiac Thoracic Surgeon typically ends their training at thirty-six.
Isabella… Right. So, you… because he is doing neurology right now. He did an internship in surgery, now he is doing neurology and he is doing surgery in neurology. He’s doing back surgery and spine surgery and all that kind of stuff, but he is afraid that he is not going to like it. And…
Seth… That’s fear. Fear is the opposite of love.
Isabella… But he thinks he would like surgery more, so he is afraid if he goes into neurology, he is not going to be happy in his career.
Seth… It is not a question of being happy in a career. It is being happy with yourself. If you tell yourself, I’m not going to be happy doing this then it doesn’t matter how good bad you are at anything because the chances are you are not going to be good at it.
Isabella… So how can I be of assistance to him?
Seth… Why would you even want to be? Do you remember…
Isabella… Ah, because… because.
Seth… Do you remember my question from before?
Isabella… Yes, I’m not asking to take care of him.
Seth… Are you not? Show me how you are not. You just said what can I do! Those are your first words.
Isabella… But when he asks me questions no, when he says to me Isabella, I feel like I am having an identity crisis in my career, what do I do?
Seth… Then you have to refocus him upon himself…
Isabella… Okay.
Seth… Then you focus him by saying you may accomplish what you choose by doing one thing and getting into the back door. Because if he becomes superb at one thing would not people want him to be able to do two?
Isabella… Yes, he’s kicking himself about not doing you know, something else in his life.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Isabella… I did have another one in regards to this, about change. So, oh when you are saying “the fruits of your labor,” I’ve been having crazy things with fruit like eating fruit where… (There must have been people smirking or some such thing to Isabella’s association to the metaphor as Isabella reacts.) No, no, no, no, no, no, seriously, where I have really been like appreciating my eating and I am curious as to why a level of enlightenment happens over like food? Do you know what I mean? I know it sounds like stupid.
Seth… There is no question that I could ever or have ever heard where I would consider stupid and to be fair to you, I’m slightly older than you are. An appreciation of anything occurs when you put things into their context and that which you believe is beneficial to you will always taste better than that which you do because you have to. That always has a sour or a bitter taste. You understand? Are there any other questions?
Frank… Yeah. This actually is a personal question having to do with my brother, but it’s involved with the material. The idea of I was essentially forced by him to come up with a suitable rent for him to pay and I tried to…
Seth… And it was your decision alone?
Frank… I… it was not, I pulled other people…
Seth… But you were forced to?
Frank… I pulled other people into it; I was the main…
Seth… You may have been the driving force.
Frank… I was the driving force and I decided on a certain amount that I felt was not going to break him but at the same time encourage him to be more responsible.
Seth… Approximately double what he was paying.
Frank… I did approximately double what he was paying and half of what the value the rent would bring, therefore reasonable. I guess my question is well, one this isn’t necessarily going to make him change or do that…
Seth… It might, it might not. We do not know how he will react.
Frank… And I guess you were kind of answering the question already by the other people’s questions because I wasn’t sure whether I was fooling myself in terms of this being a reasonable thing to present, in terms of being helpful not hurtful. I heard what Arthur was talking about this morning… earlier with his sister and…
Seth… Depending upon where you are, its morning.
Frank… Yes. In terms of maybe some input on that.
Seth… There’s no need.
Frank… Okay. Fair enough? (To Frank’s brother and all involved.)
Seth… Suitable.
Frank… Okay, part two is there any help you can give me…
Seth… Do I ever give you help?
Frank… Ahhh… you steer me in the right direction to get help.
Seth… Don’t answer the question, move along. (Stephanie giggles.)
Frank… Is there anything else I can do to assist him in the decisions that he has to make to do change because this guy is…
Seth… Did you hear my statement over here?
Frank… Yeah, you can’t.
Seth… Change the word Arthur to our friend Frank.
Frank… I don’t think I am in pain over it like Arthur.
Seth… Sure, you are. (Frank laughs as does Arthur.) You just deny that which is.
Frank… I was… well whatever.
Seth… Let’s ask Kaetorina, is he in pain?
Stephanie… (Laughs.) Quite a lot.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Arthur… Let me ask one more. If my sister has as she did a list of priorities and in some ways a reasonable list of priorities and some determination to fulfill them…
Seth… You may make suggestions.
Arthur… is that not useful to her. I mean a…
Seth… You may make suggestions. But you can’t do it for her.
Arthur… And who am I to say whether her suggestions are right or wrong? Whether her list is right or wrong?
Seth… You’re not.
Arthur… Well, those would be my only suggestions, you know.
Seth… Let me give you a simplistic answer here. I believe that there was recently a motion picture about a man whose wife walks out on him and leaves him with a son who becomes destitute…
Frank… This would have been…
Stephanie… I just watched it the other day.
Seth… Did you watch the picture, “Pursuit of Happiness”?
Arthur… I didn’t see it.
Seth… I would strongly suggest you rent it immediately and then watch this picture and apply everything that you see in this picture towards your sister.
Are there any other questions?
Shanna… Yeah, I have one more. My Mom went on a real promising interview for a job up in New Hampshire near where she’s supposed to be (Laughs.) and she was utilizing like a lot of The Law of Attraction prior to the interview, she went on the interview, she had a really good vibe from it, anything as far that you could suggest for her to do at this point?
Seth… Continue on with The Law of Attraction.
Shanna… Okay so it’s imagining it happening and…
Seth… Whether it does or not remember, this is not only her play but other’s people’s plays as well.
Shanna… It’s a combination of other people’s plays.
Seth… Are there any other questions?
Let me leave you with this: The more you force, prod, entice, assist, cajole, the more your needs increase. Effective change is never forced. It always comes from within and is a slow painstaking process that one must diligently work at. Stir the embers of your existence and allow them to burn brightly. I bid each of you a hardy good evening.
(Session ended at 9:35 P.M.)
This is great!