Seth 397
Roads to Misery and Focusing on Problems
Tuesday March 17, 2009
8:45 PM
Seth… A pleasure to have you here with me this evening. Under our title of housekeeping, we will deal with our friend Frank. While there is little to say I am sure that your unsettledness level has increased. Decisions that you make will be yours and yours alone. I will offer no help or assistance, but this should not come as a surprise. For obvious reasons if you cannot or will not improve, we will see you in about three to four months or possibly longer. (This has to do with Frank being stuck in his own road to misery involving paralysis by analysis. F.N.)
Seth… Under our subject of change we will continue on our paths to misery. As a review we have had two areas that we have covered so far, the first being the idea of entitlement the second is the idea that it is personal. When one combines these two concepts it is understandable that most individuals spend a great deal of time and effort in provoking others so that the path to misery becomes ever clearer to our unfortunate soul. Another path may be entitled focus on your problems. These individuals have nothing better to do than to look for unhappiness even when faced with success! It may be said that these individuals often snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Individuals of this nature refuse to work for that which they desire. Often, they do not complete reading assignments. They certainly if they are a member of this class do not review past sessions; they rely on memory which at best is faulty.
The problems that these individuals have are characterized by them as monumental. They catastrophize even the most minor of events. They are quick to blame others for their difficulties. These type of individuals often see the world as a challenge that can never be conquered. In reality they believe that there are no solutions to any problem that they have created yet, when questioned they deny responsibility for the difficulties that they find themselves facing even when it is obvious that they are the creator of their own difficulties. Their problems of course seem insurmountable since they take and certainly do not make any effort to lessen, diminish and or alleviate their own difficulties. These individuals are chronically unhappy, they do not see the world as a place where positive events routinely occur.
These individuals do not allow themselves the luxury of success at any level since success to them is abhorrent. If you question these individuals, they of course will deny the previous statement and will be happy to give you numerous examples of their successes. Yet, in fact, their successes are but fleeting memories of past events. These individuals are unable to sustain routine happiness. They are always waiting for the next storm. They find difficulty in accomplishing the simplest endeavors. These individuals find excuses to have others do things for them, their common cry sounds something like this, can you do me a favor, would it be too much for you to do this for me. These individuals will then criticize the others who attempt to satisfy their desires. Often these individuals are jealous of what others have or seem to possess. These individuals clearly know and certainly see that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
These souls wall themselves off from the community that seeks to assist them, yet they deny the fact that they are loners and will clearly attempt to show you how many “friends” that they have. If one would take the time to examine their friendships it is obvious that these individuals delude themselves into believing that they have friends. The problems here are demonstrated by the idea that these type of souls criticize and do not accept other individuals as they truly are. These individuals find fault with others. They question the idea that there are individuals who do not have the same standards as they do, their “friends” never seem to call or they call too often. They seem never to be invited with others in their community. They resent the idea that they are the ones who have to do the work to be included. Each individual never seems to obtain the respect that they seek.
It is clear that these individuals, when examined demonstrate the repetitive nature of their lives. Their problems repeat themselves by this I mean that if one has a problem with money each difficult set of challenges will involve money in one form or another. These souls question the idea that nothing seems to improve, their statement is simple why does this always happen to me? The repetitive nature of these problems causes these type of individuals to reflect upon the idea that the world is indeed a very difficult place and for them it is since their problems never seem to improve or lessen in severity. From here these individuals often look to blame others instead of challenging themselves. The problems that they face become overwhelming due to the fact that they have little control or insight into what is indeed happening on a day-to-day basis. These individuals shut themselves away from others since they cannot and certainly will not make an attempt to improve their vision. In truth these individuals are alone. They are unable to correctly and efficiently accept the idea that they are responsible for not only changing their problems but for overcoming them in a direct manner. If one is unable to overcome or successfully complete and understand a problem the universe of course will provide you with another difficulty or challenge that will reflect that which you need to learn.
Problem solving is not one of their strong points, yet when they successfully see, meet and complete a challenge as I have previously stated they will not find joy in the solution that they have indeed created. The universe accepts the idea that their unhappiness is a call for more enlightenment and these individuals will soon find another problem which deals with the same issues.
Next week we shall continue on our road to misery. At this point we shall take a break.
(9:30 PM)
Seth… Let us continue. Are there any questions.
Jasmine… I saw myself in a lot of the last category, focus on your problems.
Seth… Let us ask a question. Is it not factual that you routinely find yourself in situations where you have difficulties that are repetitive in nature?
Jasmine… Yes.
Seth… If this is so, has it ever occurred to you to question the how and the why of your existence when dealing with these type of difficulties or do you just accept them?
Jasmine… I do find myself in situations that are repetitive in nature be it with my family or even my own worrisome patterns. I’m not quite sure if I understand this part of the how and the why to question this of my existence when dealing with these types of difficulties or do I just accept them. Yes, I have repetitive patterns in my difficulties, but I don’t understand, I think I just accept them.
Seth… Do you realize by the way how many times you made the statement this afternoon that I can’t believe this is happening again. (Jasmine shook her head in annoyance.) Even if 3 times that’s 3 too many and for what reason do I have to exaggerate? It is obvious that I would have no reason to exaggerate yet if you will reread the lecture with a different mindset it will become clear to you that individuals when called upon to examine their belief systems here become angry.
Jasmine… You think I’m angry, I’m not. I’m just questioning.
Frank… You’re angry because she doesn’t believe it could be 18 times.
Seth… She’s also frustrated because of the repetitive nature of the difficulty.
Jasmine… I don’t really understand how to question the how and why. I obviously just accept them. Are you saying is there a pattern here and how do I change?
Seth… Yes. How can you function differently. You decided your success, which was not enough was then made it into a failure when you did not accept the success.
Jasmine… I was proud of my success. I couldn’t get rid of the negativity not the success. (Jasmine had had some sort of difficulty on the phone with people that was an ordeal.)
Seth… The success itself should have alleviated the problem. The repetitive nature is proof that it does not last. I suggest that you examine this. Are there any other questions?
Frank… Not now, maybe next week.
Seth… Warning!
Stephanie… When you speak about the individual preventing happiness would one have to look into why they refuse to allow themselves to be happy and resolve that before attempting anything else? How would one resolve this with the underlying issue of sabotage?
Seth… First my answer would be not necessarily. One must understand that the refusal to accept happiness is part of a large camouflage system. In many cases it is necessary to go ahead and accept small portions of happiness at first before attempting to delve underneath there by removing the ingrained difficulties that exist. In an ideal situation one would of course delve beneath the waves but for many individuals this is not practical at first.
Stephanie… This is because they first have to get used to the feeling of happiness in parts?
Seth… Not only do they have to get used to feelings of happiness but first they have to accept the concept of happiness. At first it is necessary to enjoy something before one may delve into the idea as to why pleasure is more profitable than the alternatives. Do you understand?
Stephanie… Yes. How would they do this on a regular basis? It would have to be a conscious effort.
Seth… This must become a conscious effort since it is necessary to pretend at first that happiness is pleasurable. This will finally become a part of our individual. Then and only then can the camouflage system be uncovered.
Jasmine… So, there are people who don’t take in happiness as pleasure?
Seth… They acknowledge it but it doesn’t mean anything. They look to find problems, they don’t see that happiness comes from a completion of a problem, but you don’t have to have a successful completion which means winning. If you successfully completed a 5 mile race one should take pleasure in its ending. You succeeded in finishing. The issue isn’t how much they did or completed it is the idea that is important.
Jasmine was drained after completing her phone ordeal.
Seth… You could not have completed this 6 months ago. Winning which is your difficulty does not mean not successful. You look to win with what you do.
Seth… Are there any other questions? Let me leave you with this… When one focuses on their problems individuals see these problems as monstrous. They find no solutions and their problems become repetitive. Their wants increase and their needs remain unfulfilled.
(10:12 PM)
